Succession (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 8 - America Decides - full transcript

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Sleepwalking into oblivion.

Uncontrolled migration,
hyperinflation, rampant crime,

- cultural Marxism...
- Here we go.

The 5:00 p.m.

- All good?
- Yeah, I'm good, Greg,

considering it's my
first post-Logan election,

and I have Cyd,
running around town,

spitting poison like a fucking
king cobra with an iPhone.

I have, PGN to the left of me,

I have FVA to the right.

I gotta deliver the best
election numbers ever



'cause my bosses
wanna rip my heart out

as a peace offering

to all comers. So, no, Greg.

You know, I'm
a little bit tense.

Just a little bit. Little tense.

Well, yeah, I'm
feeling pretty good.

I thought it was very
odd the lines were short...

- Hey, Tom.
- Hey, Ken.

You good? You feeling good?

Needs to be gangbusters
tonight, man. Yeah?

Yeah, you
got it. You got it.

All right, need
those numbers, T.

Really wanna see those
numbers, Tom, okay?

- Okay.
- Market's watching.



First Super Bowl. How we gonna
cope without the king? Right?

Okay, got it, Ken.
All good, all good.

- Hey, Pam. How's it looking?
- Bit of crackle.

We have a news van in
a bit of trouble in Oregon.

Things looking
fighty in Milwaukee...

Did you see the viral
thing about the woman,

um, who voted, like,
40 times for Jimenez

under her dead mom's name?

We tracked her down.
Not super reliable.

She's not a well person.

She's... Well, you're
not a doctor, Pam.

Until you qualify, why
don't you get her on the air?

Oof! Long night in dress shoes?

Cyd used to go for these sort
of slip-ons with a padded sock.

Yeah, probably 'cause she
couldn't get her cloven hooves

into her regular shoes.

I'm perfectly comfortable,
Pam. I've got good arches.

- All right.
- They've been remarked upon.

Five
p.m. exit polls, come on.

- Five p.m.
- Hey, Darwin. You don't, um...

They're cool.
Um, you don't...

You don't do anything
special tonight, do you?

Just somebody was
talking about adult diapers?

No, I think there's
always time for the bathroom.

Fine. Okay, thanks.

Okay. Excuse me. Coming through.

Coming through
here. Coming through.

Hey, everybody. So,
terms and conditions.

Forgive me, those of
you who already know this.

You get, you get
some rest though?

No, no. Marital strife.

Can I hear a "Got it"?

- Got it.
- Thank you. Also, what we're about to tell you...

- How was your night?
- With Matsson?

Pretty monstrous. His crew
knows some unseemly venues.

I danced with an old man.

- What?
- Yeah. He didn't want to dance,

but they made us dance.
He was so confused.

I drank things that
aren't normally drinks.

And I... I got the impression...

Do you know about Matsson
with Shiv and their sort of...

like, their... their business
alliance agreement?

Well, I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.

Okay, I didn't think so.

Do you wanna strategize?
You wanna fry her ass up?

Information, Greg.

It's like a bottle of fine wine.

You store it, you hoard it,

you save it for a
special occasion.

And then you smash
someone's fucking face in with it.

- Nice.
- So, what we're hearing is,

and remember,
this is not decisive,

what we're seeing is Mencken

may be over-performing
in Georgia and Arizona.

So, our early read would be

closer than polls
have suggested.

Close, but Jimenez likely edging

- on what we've seen.
- Boo!

Listen, this is privileged information.

Leaks that suppress
or encourage turnout

could result in our ejection

from the National
Election Pool, okay?

Yeah, you heard the man.

Zip it.

That's great.

Okay, Tom says exit polls
say looks like Jimenez.

No leaks.

That's great. I mean, I
got four smileys from Gil.

They think they've got it.

I have got eggplant,
eggplant, flag from Mencken.

Well, two eggplants
is not as much

as four smileys, obviously.

Four smileys is symptomatic
of the complacency

at the heart of his
out-of-touch campaign.

Eggplant, eggplant, flag reeks
of the misogynistic bravado

that has so repelled
the median voter.

Jesus. I feel sick.

Why? It's fun.

My team is playing your team.

It's only spicy 'cause
if my team wins,

they're gonna shoot your team.

Okay, but what are
you hearing, seriously?

Are these your
vans? The Nazi vans?

The van? The... the fun vans?

The, the fun buses? Yeah.

Yeah, in Florida,
they picked people up

telling them they were
taking them to vote,

and then a kid got
left by the highway.

It's fucking kidnapping, Rome.

It's fucking kidnapping
now? False flag. Nice try.

Kidnapping.
It's kidnapping.

- Hey!
- Lukas! Hey.

So, it's looking like Jimenez.

Which is good for
democracy and great for us.

Okay.

So, either way,

I think that we consider
releasing your, you know,

your funky numbers,
maybe tomorrow?

Day after tomorrow? Just
get ahead of the numbers

and, you know, I can come
up with some language.

Yeah, I was... I was
talking last night to Oskar

and Gregory Peggory about that.

I'm sorry, you
spoke to Greg about this?

Yeah, well, he was
part of a conversation,

just as a normalist.

And, And then I was wondering,

you know, maybe we...

Maybe we keep my...

my terrible secret
a secret, you know?

Okay.

Yeah, look, let me
have a think about that.

I gotta... I gotta take this.

I'll... I'll... I'll
call you back.

Nate.

How's things in
Mission Control Denver?

Are you in at ATN, Shiv?

Upstairs. Leave
it to them, Dad's rules.

Well, they need to be
covering the intimidation.

It's pretty dark, Shiv.

Who watches the
watchmen, you know?

"Who watches the
watchmen?" I fucking do.

- You getting good numbers?
- Good.

I'm just watching the weather.
Storm clouds in Nevada.

We got people in line.

Disturbance in Wisconsin.
But, yeah, yeah.

Scared, but good.

Precinct data is...

Pennsylvania,
Arizona could be tough.

Let's keep this channel
open on all things

Matsson and me, and
the new ATN, yeah?

All things good.

All right. So, Jimenez wins,

and he just waves the
fucking deal through.

And then we're what?

I guess, fucking
last ditch, the board?

The shareholders?

Okay, Jeryd wants face-to-face.

Okay. Me too?

Um, I doubt it. I'm asking.

Do you wanna try Gil, or
maybe direct to Jimenez?

It feels kinda sweaty.
Maybe I wait a day.

A day... I... I mean, I guess,
today's the fucking day, right?

Like, today's the day the
rooster puts its head in our hands.

Today is the moment of...

maximum leverage.
Yeah. Nope, it looks like just me.

It's a bit tight for both of us.

Fuck
him. All right, go, go, go.

- I'm going.
- Sure, sure.

Let me know
what you come up with.

- Hey, Rava.
- Hey, listen, um,

- we... we are all okay...
- Yeah?

But, um, we're
a bit, freaked out.

There is an SUV.
Well, we... we think

there's an SUV, and
it's... it's following us.

So, um, can we
come to the office?

Because, you have
good security at the office?

What's the license plate?

- The license is T... 3...
- Is it, T... TR...

I can't... - Right,
'cause it's probably...

It's probably mine. I
didn't want Sophie to freak,

so I just... I just actioned it.

Are you... You're...

My God. You're
having me followed

with th... th... this
covert surveillance

to show you care?
The actual fuck, Ken?

Just an extra layer of
bubble wrap for her and Ivey.

Are you guys okay? You okay?

- Is she okay?
- She's, um, scared, Ken. Okay?

- I'm... I am scared.
- Rava, Rava.

- Listen, just... - I
don't know what...

There... there is...
There is shit burning,

there is intimidation.

- I don't understand...
- Relax, okay? Relax.

Tell Sophie, I love her,

and that is why I
do everything I do.

Okay, Soph? Soph, I
love you, sweetie, okay?

Nothing's gonna happen.

Exit polls say Jimenez, okay?

I won't let the world
push you, okay, sweetie?

Hey,
man. Just... just calling

to say good luck. Great numbers.

- Thanks, man.
- And, um,

listen, apologies if... if
things got a bit heated.

A lot of shit going down.

Victory vans and shitheads
kicking off in Milwaukee.

- ATN wanna cover?
- Yeah, I'll... I'll... I'll talk,

but gotta let them do
their thing. But, yeah, yeah.

- Okay.
- Listen, you got Daniel there?

You know, let me, let me see.

Yeah, come in.

Sir, are you
here for Kendall Roy?

- Hey, Kendall.
- Hey, Dan. Hey, man.

Good luck. Just...

- Just best of luck.
- Thanks, man.

- Great to speak.
- Yeah.

But, But when this is over,

I think there needs to be
a big conversation about tech,

- is all I'd say.
- Great to speak.

I'm gonna put Nate back on.

Sure. And... and...
And may the best man

who will, you know,
protect American jobs

and reign in tech and
is called Daniel win,

you know?

Let's catch up. Have
a good one, man.

Yeah, sure. Sure, man.

You know, tonight, my
eye is just right here,

making sure it's
fair as fuck, all right?

Have a good night,
man. Stay hydrated.

- Hey, come on.
- Yep. Hell yeah.

Thank you.

Busy, busy. Hello, hello!

Look at you! Losing it,
like a massive fucking loser.

Yeah.
Well, I blame you.

- Couldn't deliver Connor?
- Whoops.

ATN scared to run all the fraud?

Well, I keep
my hands out, you know?

Fuck you. What is this?
'Cause, you know, I'm quite busy.

- You're busy?
- Yes, I am busy.

I don't run around town like
some fucking food-bike guy,

- you know?
- Yeah.

Just, wanted to say a
couple things.

Yeah?

Very directly.

We still think we can win.

- Sure.
- But I am very focused

on losing.

- All right.
- Winning is easy.

Winning would
take care of itself.

- Sure.
- But if I lose...

I need to work on what assholes
would call "The narrative."

Like a "insurgent campaign,

unfairly maligned as extremist

by the coastal
masturbation factories."

Exactly. If I lose,

I want it correctly
characterized

as a huge victory.

Over-performed?

I want to be the
president. I want you to...

be a partner in that,
and if it isn't tonight,

it will be next time.

Even if you're not
going to be the president,

you're going to
be our president.

Exactly. You, me, we'll go far.

Over the road and into the bar.

So, listen,
at some point tonight

could we do a chat,

in terms of the...
The me of things,

Because Matsson, he
treated me quite abominably,

but it felt, like, trusting

and he was saying
a lot of things, and...

Okay, okay. Enough,
enough, enough.

Where's my coffee?

Tom, I don't do coffee anymore...

No, Greg!

Greg, I have to
be clear. I have to.

If I get drowsy,

and I miscall Colorado,
instability, right?

Then the US loses credibility,

China spots an opportunity
and invades Taiwan.

Tactical nukes. Fucking
shit goes kablooey

and we're back to amoeba.

It's a long way
back from pond life,

'cause you failed to get
me a double shot, okay?

Okay. Well, do you...

do you
want some of what you asked for?

Um, no, I don't...
I don't think so.

What do you think?

Maybe no. I me... Election night?

- Um...
- Your... your call. I mean...

Yeah, hit me. But this
is not a... not a thing.

Okay? It's not going in a book.

- It's just... Yeah, okay.
- Yeah. Quick, quick.

Quick as a whistle.

What do we
have here? What's on the,

- the board?
- What's on the board?

- Want it?
- Thanks.

Just rubbing
the board innocently.

Simply cleaning
the whiteboard here.

Okay.

- Here you go.
- No, no. Not... not for me.

- What?
- No. I'm just starting

- to feel normal from last night.
- What, you'll do it with Matsson,

and not with me?

I don't want you looking
all judgy all night. Come on.

No, I need a clear head,
and I don't wanna get addicted

- from two nights in a row.
- Shut up, Greg. Don't be Mom.

- Come on.
- I don't want to, please.

Greg, it's medically
good for your brain. It is.

What are you saying,
all Aztecs are stupid?

Don't be a racist, little
bitch about it. Come on.

- Yeah, okay.
- Come on.

Don't... What? Are
you pretending?

- No, I'm... - Are you
pretending to do coke?

- Some got up.
- Well, fucking do it.

- All right.
- There. God!

Okay.

What the fuck is that?

That. I guess they...

They were ordering
some for folks,

I said why not get you one?

Bodega sushi? Are you insane?

I... No... That's not
me, that's Samson.

No, not Samson, Greg!

I want you Gregging for me.

You're busted back
down to Greg tonight.

- No!
- Yeah! Tonight, my digestive system

is basically, part of
the constitution, okay?

Microwaved milk
and ginger shots.

American bottled water.
Spaghetti and olive oil, okay?

- Okay?
- Okay.

Okay.

Hey, Con!

Tom!

Yeah, I got this crew here.

And they're filming the stuff,

but none of it is making
it on the show, dude.

Is there any film
in these cameras?

Yeah, I think we are... We
are planning to feature, Con.

Well, no, because I'm watching.

Now, I expected to be frozen out

by all those other mooks,
but you guys? Come on.

Gimme some sugar, man!

I mean, maybe
everyone voted for me,

- we don't know.
- Schrödinger's cat.

Schrödinger's cat, Tom.
Until we open the boxes,

I'm just as much
President as the other two.

- Yeah? So, come on. If I do it...
- Let's go. Let's go.

That's the story of all time.

Okay, well, I'll think...
I've... I've gotta go.

But I'll see what I can
do, but I've gotta go

- 'cause the polls are closing.
- Yep.

Okay.

Okay, if it's gonna
happen anywhere,

it's gonna happen in Kentucky.

- Anything.

- Anything can happen.
- Yeah.

So glad I didn't drop out.

It just makes an election
so much more interesting,

when you're in it.

You gotta be in it to win it.

And it is seven o'clock
on the East Coast,

which means polls
have just closed

in half a dozen states.

The most closely watched
states at this hour, Georgia,

with its 16 electoral votes,

and Virginia, with its 13,
both key battleground states.

As of this moment,
it is too early

to project a winner in either.

- Okay.
- But our decision desk

can announce, at this hour,

that Representative
Jeryd Mencken

will defeat Governor
Daniel Jimenez

- in the Commonwealth of Kentucky...
- Ooh!

- As well as in the state of Indiana...
- Okay.

Where Mencken
has enjoyed a lead over Jimenez...

- Okay.
- In the pre-election polling.

Governor Jimenez will win

in the state of Vermont,
no big surprises there,

in the early part
of the evening.

We
Will need to look at more data

before we can
make a projection...

Hey, fuck Kentucky, Con.

- No.
- Yes, fuck 'em.

No. I...

I shan't become that, no.

Alas, Kentucky, Willa.

Alas, vanity.

Voters
have made their voices heard.

This could be the
most important election

in our lifetime.

- So with polls about to close...
- Nope.

I told you, you can give
it to me, Billy. Thank you.

As we heat up, Tom,

how much do
you want to give to...

Fair bit of intimidation.

His folks and ours.

So, like, fire in Wisconsin,
in Milwaukee, could be nasty.

Could be electrical failure.
Might be Menckenists.

"Camera smashed, crew
harassed in Portland."

- That's them.
- I trust you.

All of these counties here.

Again, a little,
board malfunction here.

- What's he doing? What's this?
- But we'll be right back on it in a second...

- Hey, Pam? What's going on?
- Hold... hold on.

- The... the touchscreen.
- Hold on, we're checking it out.

What's happening
with the touchscreen?

- Tell him to stop touching the touchscreen!
- We have a replacement...

- The touchscreen is malfunctioning!
- It's fine, it's fine.

It's not fine! You can
see that it's not fine!

- We have a replacement on the way.
- It's malfunctioning! Fuck!

Touchscreen's malfunctioning!

Touchscreen's malfunctioning!

And we're gonna zoom in.

Right where we can
see, right here, having a...

The board seems to be acting up.

What's going on
with the touchscreen?

The touchscreen
is malfunctioning!

What's going on? What
the fuck is going on?

Right, we're on it.
Graphics generator just...

- It... it shat the bed.
- What?

Where is my touchscreen?

- Don't... You're losing it, Dave.
- Find me a desk.

Don't lose it, Dave.
Don't lose it tonight, Dave!

It is now 9:00
p.m. on the East Coast.

- Okay, can we get an ETA...
- Hello?

What the fuck's going
on with the touchscreen, Tom?

I'm on it, I'm all over it.

You're not on it.
Fucking get on it.

Figure it out, yeah?

Figure it out. Now!

Hey, it's happening.
Ken, it's happening.

We're about
to get a new batch, Greg,

and if we drop numbers now,
I'm gonna come down there

and put your fucking head
through that touchscreen.

- It's all in motion.
- Fix it, fix it, fix it.

- No need to catastrophize.
- Where's the touchscreen, Pam?

- Is it loading up?
- It's loaded up.

Well, get it on air!
Get the new one on air.

We're gonna be hemorrhaging.
We're gonna be a laughingstock.

We're on it, Tom. No
one will notice, okay?

We've done this before.

We have three, and
they're all lined up.

No one will notice? I noticed.

Am I no one? Do I
look like no one?

Do I?

How the fuck are
we behind social media on this?

All right, we need
to be leading this.

- Hey, Tom?
- Hello?

You got this fire in Wisconsin.
You... you... you got this?

Yes, I think we... Yes,
I think we have that, yeah.

- Electrical.
- Why aren't we covering, Tom?

Um, well, because we always
have to choose what to focus on.

And just because something
is on fire doesn't make it news.

- Electrical failure?
- Not what we hear.

No. It's... it's... it's not
what Nate hears, Tom.

Well, bully for Nate.

- Hey, Tom.
- Hey, Nate.

We need to be
all over this, Tom.

Yeah. I... Okay, I just
think it's important to, um,

to keep our unique perspective

because we are getting
conflicting reporting.

What about the actual photos

I can see of it happening
on my fucking phone?

Look, there are... there are
many, many things happening

in this nation right now.

There are a million data points,

and we... we have to select
the ones that are consequential.

If these nutjobs are
going paramilitary,

- we can say that.
- Yeah.

Yes, we just
need to respect our viewership.

By not telling them anything
they don't want to hear?

You guys get this about
the Antifa firebombing

in Milwaukee?

No. We... we hear
it's his people, Mencken's.

Okay, when it becomes a
story, then we'll run the story.

Well, this is
happening in, what,

- a vote counting center? So...
- Yeah. It's a story, Tom.

- It's a story.
- I'm on it.

- Do not micromanage me, please.
- Tom!

- Yes? Yes?
- Tom! They're evacuating.

We've got a local chopper
up and a reporter on the way.

Okay. Guys, I've
got to manage this.

I'm gonna... I'm... I'll
keep you looped, yeah?

Talk to Greg, yeah?

Yeah, hey, hey.

Happy to keep you

- fully abreast here.
- We're not talking to Greg.

- I can be your link-up guy.
- No. What the fuck?

Amateur hour down there.

Okay. So, if it
happened in Milwaukee,

and if it's deliberate,
then it's Menckenists?

False flag. Could be.

You can't just say
"false flag" every time

- you don't fucking agree with something.
- False flag. False flag.

Okay, guys.

We want to
report about a fire in Milwaukee,

initially thought to have been
caused by an electrical failure.

But now there are claims
and some counterclaims

being made by groups
who were protesting

- alleged voting irregularities.
- Hey.

Okay, well, do you
know if any of the ballots

- are intact?
- It doesn't look likely.

Where are you at?

Depends how many
votes have gone.

- But ballots have been lost?
- Yeah.

We're chartering
flights to Milwaukee.

A ton of number-crunching
by our analytics team.

We're trying to check the
Milwaukee County voter rolls

to see who's voted
so far, but...

Listen, can you help
with the narrative?

Okay, well, have you got
all the bodies that you need?

Yeah. Yeah, we have bodies.
We have a SWAT team on it,

they're interfacing with
the Wisconsin team.

Apparently, he's just touching

too hard for it.

- He's touching with...
- What?

What? No. Rome?

Roman, no brass on
the battlefield, okay?

That's one of Logan's
Geneva conventions.

- Please, please.
- Just a pop-in. What's going on?

They evacuated the count center?

No, I don't know, I just
lost another touchscreen.

I'm down to my last
fucking touchscreen, okay?

- What's going on?
- Nothing.

Tom just thinks that
China's hacking his tech.

I do not, but I do think

you would be more
comfortable upstairs.

- What?
- Greg? Will you please...

- Yes.
- Will you please help them upstairs?

Yeah, guys, do you
mind if I wrangle...

Hello? Tom?

- Hello, Siobhan.
- Can I just wrangle...

- Wrangle? Stop saying wrangle.
- Yeah. Are the ballots still in there?

- Okay, where... where are we?
- What's going on?

- Tom, can you catch us up?
- Greg, will you please, take the VIPs

- to a, upstairs setting?
- Yes. I... I...

- Tom!
- Can I grab the three of you and just...

Tom!

- Yes?
- Reporter on the way.

- Three, four out.
- Okay. All right, all right.

- Tom?
- Yes?

Can I... can I have a word?

I... This is...

- I really... I really can't.
- This won't take long, Tom. Just...

I know, but just let
me... Okay, I just...

Can you please? I
just wanted to apologize

for some of the things
that I said last night, okay?

- Okay. Okay.
- And to...

you know, give you
an opportunity to...

Re... Okay.

Well, I can't do
it to that. So...

How should I frame my face?

You scared that I'm gonna blab

about you and Matsson?

Jesus fucking Christ,

- Tom.
- What?

My father just died, yeah?

- My... Like...
- Yeah.

My father just died.

So maybe, you
know, I could get a little

consideration on that and for,
you know, a number of reasons

I've been feeling
off-kilter, so... I'm sorry,

- but can I get a
modicum of... - Sure, sure.

- What does that mean?
- Sure.

"Sure."

It means you hated him, Siobhan.

I didn't hate him. I loved him.

Well, it was complicated,

but sometimes you
certainly hated him,

and... and you also
sort of killed him.

Wow!

- What the...

- Sort of.
- Yeah. "Sort of."

That's the part that I'm
gonna remember, thanks.

No, thank you.
Okay, you know what?

Actually, also, I'm
pregnant. Yeah? By you.

And there's... there's
never a good time to say it,

but you need to know. So, okay.

- Now you know.
- Right. Right.

Is...

that even true?

What?

Like, is that even true, or
is that like a new position

or a tactic? Or what?

What?

Um, okay.

So, we have an area. I
guess, we... Is it upstairs?

- Yeah, it's just...
- You okay?

Yeah. yep.

I'm, Look, I
think things are tough.

With... with my
situation and Tom,

but... - You want
us to have him killed?

We could do that.

Yeah, maybe.

- I mean, I think...
- Okay.

You know, he's just...

He's just a piece of
filth, and there's stuff

I would like to tell you, but...

Hey, I've been trying
to get them to move.

Not in an aggressive way, but...

If...

Yeah, I mean, you
just can't trust him.

Yeah, we got you.

In terms of the fire,

- it is still burning.
- Thanks.

And
crews are struggling to contain,

let alone extinguish.

Now, are there any
reports so far of injuries?

None for now, fortunately.

The building was
evacuated immediately

and all workers have
been accounted for.

Well, I'm gonna sneak...
now that we're all in here.

There's a lot of confusion
here right now. It looks like...

- Who's responsible?
- All ballots have been received here.

That's the story, right?
Who burnt this place down?

To me, it always comes down

to a couple of old favorites,
the Blacks or the Jews.

- I'm kidding. It's a fucking joke.
- Would you, please? Please?

Got it.

- All right. Here. Shiv. Just follow me.
- Hey, Connor.

- Follow me.
- Rome.

Um, Jeryd isn't picking up.

Yeah.

I... I wonder if it's a
busy night for him?

Um, because I wondered

if what we talked about
might still be on offer?

Ambassadorship-wise?

Yeah. Well, that was kind
of a yesterday offer, Connor.

You know if he
doesn't make this,

you're gonna be partially
fucking responsible,

- I hope you're cool with that.
- Rome.

I spent like a hundred mil here.

Couldn't I get a sniff

of even a little guy?

Organize a little coup,
down in old Peru?

Put me in a van to Tajikistan?

Couldn't I just be our
fun guy in Uruguay?

Your rhymes are
compelling. But what's in it for him, Con?

Maybe just one of
the finest political operators

of his generation
sorting shit out?

Okay, yeah,
I'll, I'll get back to you.

Just this one.

Every four years, in fact.

It's probably going to come down

to a handful of states,
like Wisconsin, Ohio,

Pennsylvania,
Georgia, and Arizona.

Ignore the narratives early on,

and just realize

that we're going to
be in for a dog fight,

for a late night in those
last couple of states.

It is 11:00 p.m.
on the East Coast.

Polls have just closed

in four more key states.

- Okay, thanks.
- The ATN decision desk can now project...

So, under state law,
the vote can't be certified

until the absentee
ballots are counted.

So, no Wisconsin result is valid

until the absentee
ballots are counted.

Okay. And how does Daniel feel?

Confident, but terrified.

I don't know, is
there... is there a name

for that feeling? Cuspy?

- Hey. Yeah.
- Rome. So, under Wisconsin law,

- the vote can't be certified... - Mencken
says we're done. Wisconsin's done.

- That's their position.
- But... Well, no.

There's like 100,000 absentee
Milwaukee ballots missing.

So we have to figure
out a way to go forward

- knowing that information... - Go
forward to undermine Mencken's lead?

Does he have a lead?

- I mean, is... is that right?
- Yep, yes.

An artificial lead.

With 100,000 Milwaukee
absentee ballots missing.

Every vote must be counted.

I think she's right.

- What?
- Well...

- I think she's right, Rome.
- Well, yeah, okay.

But we... we... we can
count the votes that we have.

However, unfortunately,
some are lost. So...

"Unfortunately,
some are lost?"

- Yep.
- Meaning, what? Fascist fuckheads burnt them.

We literally do not know that.

It could very easily be
your fucks, they love fires.

You're making hay
for political violence.

Or your guys
knew they were going to lose,

so they did something
crazy to throw it into question

- and get a revote.
- You don't believe that.

Yeah, maybe I do. I don't know.

Okay. Well, Jimenez

is gonna take Pennsylvania,
Michigan, and Arizona.

So I don't know why you're
getting so fucking uppity

- about this shit.
- Why are you getting so uppity

about this shit if
you're so confident?

Because if Mencken wins,
it's the end of the world, okay?

So I'd like a little
fucking cushion.

Can we get fucking real?
Jimenez won't block the GoJo deal.

So fuck the guy, right?

Well, who knows? Maybe
he would. And that's not...

We cannot
let that be the thing that's...

That's not the
thing, right? Ken?

I don't know.

- Ken.
- I don't know.

No, don't... don't get cynical.

It's... it's not... not
cynical. No. It's just...

what's happening is
happening. I'm a realist.

Yeah. Says the man
who'd cut his son's throat

and then eat him
on the high pass.

- Jesus fucking Christ.
- We can all say nasty shit, Shiv.

Hey, so, FVA is saying

they have enough vote
reported to call Wisconsin.

So, Freedom Voice America
and VeraNews are calling it.

- Great, the maniacs.
- Okay. Wow.

Well, can't get out-flanked
and we need to be fast.

So I think we
should call it, right?

- Hold on, hold on!
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

Tom, what... what is
like an independent...

Can... can you get us

- Decision Desk Darwin?
- Yes. Yep.

I want to say a few words
about the emerging situation

in Milwaukee.

A situation the American...

people are watching
with increasing concern.

We have a process.

- And it is sacrosanct...
- "Respect the process.

Count every vote."

I mean, he's so fucking dull.

Flop your dick out, pop
a nut. Do something!

That decision will
have no legitimacy

if it does not account
for all the ballots cast.

Okay, Dar. Thank you.
And we have some thoughts

and some questions. And...

Thank you, Darwin.
Do you have a result

as it stands in Wisconsin?

- We've tallied the vote total so far.
- Okay.

- Yeah. And?
- Margin for Mencken

is significant.

It couldn't be made up
by outstanding existing

uncounted votes, only
the ones destroyed.

Okay, and we're not waiting
for burned votes, so we call it.

- No, I... I think...
- Right?

I think they have
to hold it again. No?

Like, a... a revote?

I would say a
revote is incredibly rare and complex

because, while we
theoretically know everyone

who requested
an absentee ballot,

we don't entirely know
how many turned them in,

and there's nothing
in Wisconsin law

that really covers what to do.

Exactly. You can't do it. Boom!

- Mencken. Thank you.
- But, of course,

we think, um, we...
The team knows...

We know how the missing votes

- would have broken down.
- What? They're gone.

There's no way to know
what was on those ballots.

- Well, we... we do know. Because in past elections...
- No.

- Milwaukee overwhelmingly votes Democrat.
- You know what might be on them,

but you don't actually know.

Sure. I just,
basically, do know.

- We do know.
- Because you're so plugged in,

you know how all the
little peasants vote,

what's in their hearts?
'Cause you don't know.

Rome, come on. This is the
grown-ups table, be serious.

This is serious. Ballots
get lost every election.

You can't get
burnt ballots back.

Bullshit. Just bullshit.

- Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.
- You're bullshit. It's not bullshit.

- Full of fucking bullshit.
- Shiv? Shiv?

- What?
- You sound a little unhinged.

You fucking watch it, Tom.

- We do know.
- Okay, okay.

There's no way to say in here
how people would have voted.

I mean, you wanna
just run your model

and not bother
with all the people?

We're saying, historically,
people overwhelmingly...

Historically,
people used to burn witches.

- Are you saying we should do that?
- What the fuck?

"Burn witches"? Rome!
Look, we just know

that the fire would
have destroyed

a lot of Jimenez ballots.

So, "Fire favors
GOP," claims mad witch?

- We just know.
- Okay. Well, we're not gonna rerun the election,

and if the Right gets
wrongly blamed for this,

what would that
do? If the Left does?

- Could get nasty.
- Where are you going?

I am going to the
bathroom to shit.

Would you like
me to livestream it?

We're going to
be in for a dog fight, for a late night...

Ken, you wanna weigh in?

And Mark
Ravenhead has some thoughts

about what we've been
seeing so far tonight...

- I just think it's hard.
- But we know. We just do.

That if the lost
votes were counted,

Jimenez would take the state.

Mark is commenting
directly, ATN voice.

Professional politicos
who, time after time,

come up with, isn't this funny,

with polls which undercount
support for traditional values.

So, yeah, maybe
some of the crazies

heard they were underperforming

and decided to stop the
counting and destroy the evidence.

And so, yeah,
"You just stay quiet."

Roman sent talking points.

"We'll guess
what we think was on those ballots.

- We'll decide," yeah?
- Is he down there?

- They know best, right?
- Fuck's sake, Rome.

And you'll eat what's for dinner

because they don't really
care for folks who answer back

- or ask too many questions.
- Should I...

Shut up!

Innumerate residuum!

We'll figure it out,

and issue you with
your new government

to march into your homes
and take whatever we want

in the way of your
mechanisms of self-defense,

and tell your son she's
actually your daughter,

or the other way
around, and then...

Hey, Shiv, do you mind
actually not going on the floor?

"It's all just peachy."
Even though it doesn't feel so peachy...

- Shiv?
- That you can't go out at night,

and the new president
is opening up his borders

- to his friends, yeah...
- Bullshit.

Bullshit, Roman, fuck you.

It's obvious that we need to be
smarter than this, better than this.

We need a fucking
opposing viewpoint.

Could you call security for me?

Sorry, you can't come down
here. It's... it's not me, it's just...

Hey, Lukas.

What the fuck is going on?

Yeah, great fucking question.

Powerful commentary?

I don't feel good,
necessarily, about this, Rome.

Shucks!

Is it okay?
Do I need to hustle?

Do I need to get
ready to be cozy

with this fucking Mr. Scary?

No. No, I can
handle. I can handle it.

Yeah, 'cause Greg tells me
it's getting kinda hairy in there.

Don't let them break
my toy, Shiv, okay?

No. All good. I'll be in touch.

Sorry, we just need you
off the floor, if that's okay.

Yeah, got a minute?

And now, apparently,

the Democrats are accusing
this fire of being biased.

That's right. Yeah, that sounds

pretty much something
out of their camp.

"It only burnt
Democratic votes."

Yeah? You know,
it's one of those...

It's one of those picky fires.

- Come on in.
- Yeah.

- So...
- Yeah, just wanted to check in.

- You know? It's been busy. So...
- Right. Yeah, on election day.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, how was your
night, last night, with Lukas?

Shiv, I... I went
for a drink with him.

That... that's not my fault.

Do you find me
attractive, Gregory?

I don't think of
things such as that.

I thought you
were a "disgusting brother."

Is that... Was that
too disgusting for you?

This is not appropriate.

It's...

Yeah, I...
I'm... Sorry, I don't...

'Cause I'm just
letting you know...

that if you try to fuck me...

I'll kill you.

Got it.

Got it. Sorry, yeah.

I guess my... my only question...

would be, if... if anything
did come to pass,

in terms of you and he...

you know, silence is golden.

Like how golden?

Is there an offer?

Yeah. Yeah.

How about I offer for you to
keep all your internal organs

on your insides, rather than
I pull them out your asshole?

Go on. You're lumber.

Keep your snout out.

Simultaneously destroying
diversity of opinion

wherever possible...

Hey, guess what?

Mencken will block the deal.

Straight up. He'll kill it.

If he wins, he'll
refer it to FTC.

Whatever, new law,
foreign ownership tightening.

Whatever, he'll screw
it up. In exchange...

for our support tonight.

- In, like... in so many words?
- In those words.

Shall I get Tom? Shall I
get the human abacus?

Shall I? Let's do it.

This is good news.

Hey, hey.

- Hey.
- So, thanks for...

Whatever. We
have the votes. So...

Can't rerun fairly

and can't let lefty terrorism
affect us, so let's call it.

On what precedent?
By... by what authority?

By the power of
me, the CEO of Waystar,

telling you what to put on
the telly-box mouth-people.

I don't think we
can do that, guys.

I think we can do it, Dar.

If we call it, and
the... the... the others

- went his way... -
ROMAN: Right, well, look.

There are still
outstanding states.

There's Michigan,
Ohio, Georgia, Arizona.

It's really not that big
a deal. It's one state.

I'm worried it's not a decision

- that I could necessarily... -
ROMAN: Yeah, thank you.

And everyone
respects you, Darwin,

but this isn't actually
a numbers thing.

I mean, the Wisconsin
Elections Commission,

the Milwaukee
Election Commission

will go to court and
the camps will litigate it.

And it'll be a jurisdiction fight

that I think Mencken
might shade,

- but, you know, we can't...
- Yeah, that's... that's great.

But I'm just gonna say
we're good and that's on me.

The votes that exist
have been tallied,

and that gives
Mencken the state.

But you don't... you don't
make the call. I make the call.

We're gonna make
the call together, Tom...

You can't make the
call until I make the call.

Okay. So... and I'm
not gonna make you do anything.

This is the situation
in Wisconsin.

How would you feel if we
were to not "call it" call it,

but, um...

Like, pending.
We could call it pending.

You could even explain it.

We can get a camera on
you to explain it to people.

We had a number of Jimenez
campaign surrogates over the last week,

sounding the alarm
about the lack of turnout

- of Black and Latino voters...
- I could explain.

And could there be a
graphic that makes it clear

the call isn't a...

"call" call?

"Pending call."

Okay, okay.

Sorry.

Okay.

- All right, so...
- Yeah?

- Okay.
- Satisfied, fucky fucks?

- Okay.
- Soon as we can.

Great.

What's up?

You okay? What?

There's something
in my eyes. Um...

Greg? Wasabi.

Is it wasabi? There's
wasabi in my eyes?

- I've got wasabi in my eyes?
- Jesus.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

No, it's gone more
in. It's gone more in.

- What's going on?
- It's on my fingers.

What's going on?

- What did you do to him?
- It stings!

- What?
- Get some water or something, Greg!

Holy
mother! Mother of God.

- Fuck me slowly, this smarts.
- Okay.

Quick Greg, put water
in it. Put water in...

- It's washing it in!
- That's lemon!

It's lemon, Greg!

- That's clear. It's La Croix!
- Jesus! Fuck, Greg.

- What are you doing?
- Come on.

- It's lemony, Greg. It's lemony!
- It's La Croix!

Jesus H. Christ!

- No, it's natural! Like, medical!
- Get some tissues, man.

Give it to me. My God.

It's not that lemony!
It's just a hint of lemon.

Darwin? You good to call it?

He can't fucking call it, Rome.

We're calling it, Shiv.

- He just called it, okay?
- Great. Thanks.

Greg, do not put any
more lemon water,

or wasabi, in his eyes, okay?

Hey, Con, you shouldn't
really be in here.

And a very good
evening to you, too.

- Hey! Presidente. Sike!
- Rome. Sweetheart. One sec.

Would you wait over here
for me a second, baby?

- Sure.
- Fellas, would you wait over here for me a second?

- Yeah. Yep?
- Rome. One thought.

How about I concede

in his direction?

I scratch his balls,
he scratches mine?

That's interesting.
Perhaps-ish.

- Let me check on that, yeah.
- "Perhaps-ish"?

- Perhaps-ish, yeah. Come on.
- I'm coming.

- Seventeen electoral votes...
- Pam?

We're calling,
Wisconsin for Mencken.

Get the graphics up.

Dave, let them
know we're five out

- from calling Wisconsin.
- All right.

We are calling
Wisconsin for Mencken.

Five minutes. Is
that graphic ready?

There is a big ol'
call to make right now,

and that is ATN is
projecting that Jeryd Mencken

You know, we've
been reporting on that fire

in the Milwaukee
vote count center.

Nonetheless, our decision desk

is confident in
making this call.

Jeryd Mencken has won
the state of Wisconsin,

and there goes the blue wall.
That's ten electoral votes, that

brings Mencken up to 246...

Okay, man. Okay.
There's something there.

Sordid backseat fuck job.

Tell me more.

He wants to
keep up the momentum.

Jeryd Mencken
is now 24 electoral votes away

from winning the presidency.

Do you really wanna?

Slovenia, Willa.

I mean, I am torn, and
he's very, right-wing.

But Vienna for lunch,
Venice for dinner.

And Dubrovnik for breakfast.

My fellow Americans,

it's becoming clear tonight,
that as far as we can tell,

Mr. Jeryd Mencken will likely be

the next president
of the United States.

Yes.

- And I, for one, wish him well.
- Connor was running for president?

For although
I set out a clear and compelling path...

- Okay, all right.
- America, in her divine wisdom,

has chosen to take another.

Well, good luck. And...

I'd like to say to my
first running mate,

who I will not dignify
with a name-check,

but had that woman
not dropped out,

and then had I not
had to replace her

with another figure,

who turned out not to
be able to bear the weight

of public scrutiny,

had I not been betrayed
by those two jackrabbits,

who knows?

Politics of envy. Ugly game.

I happen to be a billionaire.

Sorry.

But honestly,
America, you flunked it.

I guess you're
gonna have to find

some other poor
mook's paps to suckle on.

- Okay. - The corrupt bipartisan

- system zombie marches on.
- All right.

And so I call out to
my friends tonight,

to my people.

I say, Conheads, I salute
you. And, America, be afraid.

Be warned...

for the Conheads are coming.

Thank you. God bless America.

ATN decision desk
is now projecting

Daniel Jimenez has
won the state of Michigan

- over Jeryd Mencken.
- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

That's 15 electoral
votes. Our tally now goes...

- Are you ready for this?
- All right, all right.

Two-hundred-and-sixty-two
for Mencken,

- and 262 for Daniel Jimenez.
- A dead heat.

Polls will be
closing soon in Alaska,

the only state yet to be
called other than Arizona

and its 11 electoral votes.

Let's maybe go harass
the decision desk about what's

- taking so long for Arizona.
- Guys. Just a heads-up.

We hear... We are getting
it from the campaigns

that the data nerds

are hearing that...
Well, Dar, you say.

So, Arizona is gonna go red.

All right, well then that's...

- That would be it, right?
- I mean, we're...

We're kind of boxed in,
because of Wisconsin.

I mean, I... I don't
feel comfortable calling it.

I mean, PGN is gonna
be calling it. Right, Tom?

- Yeah...
- I mean, they're going to call Arizona.

Because if we call it,
because of Wisconsin, we...

we called Wisconsin
"pending," so...

Yeah, we already
called Wisconsin, okay?

We can't un-call
Wisconsin, can we?

That would make us all
look pretty unprofessional.

So, Arizona?

- We're calling the election?
- Yeah.

- No, no.
- No?

- No.
- It's math, dude.

Tom, will you guys give
us a minute, please?

- Fuck.
- Sure, okay.

One minute. Be
back in one minute, please.

What?

- That's it. That's it.
- I don't know, Rome.

Like, maybe... maybe we...

revisit Wisconsin.

Because, yeah, we... I mean, we...

- That was... kind of...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Right?
- Okay, I get it.

No, you're gonna, like,
big brother it right now.

- That's what you're gonna do?
- No.

- Like what?
- Like when, you know,

if you want roast chicken
and I wanted steak,

we always had chicken.

Because you'd... you'd
freak out. You'd tantrum.

- So they thought... - I
would fucking tantrum

because I never
had fucking steak.

Well, I think they
got scared if...

you know, if you tantrumed,
then you'd think you'd won,

- so they couldn't let
you... - I never won.

It was always fucking chicken.

So, because we had so much
chicken when we were kids,

- I have to like the fascist?
- Yeah.

If we don't call it early

and he wins anyway,
which is perfectly possible,

but without us tonight?
Think about that.

With FVA and
VeraNews backing him,

we're left the most dickless
eunuchs in cuck town.

We call it? We call this?

- If we push it...
- Yeah?

Maybe it happens.

Yeah. We give it to Mencken,
Mencken blocks the deal.

He's not fucking
wishy-washy. He's a guy.

I don't
know, dude. I mean...

Exactly. All of the
mainstream media. All of the Democrats...

My kids.

- The whole thing.
- "America!"

Well, I mean, it is kind
of a nice idea, you know?

All the different
people together.

What? All right.
What... what would Dad do?

- Come on.
- I don't know. I don't actually know.

Yes, you fucking do, man!

The guy in the pocket.

The guy that's gonna
answer our calls.

The fucking guy
printing US dollars.

This is all upside.

Apart from the matter of him
smashing the country to pieces.

God! Don't be
such a fucking prissy...

Okay, maybe we could
deal with a dose of that, right?

Like a nice little dose
of the frighteners?

Wind shit back 20?

You know one of those fucking
guys pushed my daughter.

- She's okay?
- If we do this...

people... people
are gonna say shit.

Yeah. We'll be in the West
Wing. Nothing matters, Ken.

Nothing fucking
matters. Dad's dead,

and the country's
just a big pussy

waiting to get fucked.

Fucking... action, okay?

We can pay for any damages.

Let's just jam our fuckin'
heads in the bosom of history

and just...

Right? I mean... Or,
we sit on our hands

like a couple of
damsels in distress,

and, you know, watch
our chance slip away.

PGN has a
major projection to announce,

and that is that Jeryd
Mencken will win Arizona.

So, he is the winner
of 11 electoral votes

in Arizona...

- Hey.
- Hey.

Can we talk for a minute?

Yeah. We're fucked,
Ken. We're fucked.

Because we called, it's fucked.

I don't know what we should
do. I feel like my head is just...

I... I can't... I can't...

get the scale
of it, what this is.

I mean, we can recant, yeah?

His team is being very direct.
They will block Matsson's deal.

Well, he says he will.

We call it for him, that
gives him legitimacy

to declare.

I mean, we're in bed
with him, I think, yeah?

Yeah, I...

I mean, it'll get ground out in
the courts, whatever we say.

Sure, right. But...

Yeah, look, shall we be...

totally honest in here?

I have sometimes felt

like I could do it.

You know, like, I
should do it. Me.

Just me.

But I don't want
that to be an end

to the... the
family thing, right?

I would just... I would
like to be able to talk...

openly about that
feeling, maybe.

Sure. Yeah, no, I
appreciate... I appreciate that.

Mencken is kinda Roman's
guy, so that's complicated.

- Yeah, right.
- And, honestly, I feel...

threatened, maybe, by
their relationship, and...

So I want...

A piece of me wants
to not support that,

and that's maybe in there,
pulling away from Mencken.

- But also, you're a good guy.
- Well, I don't know.

- Sure. You are.
- Thank you.

- I don't know.
- No, essentially, you're...

You're a good guy.

But we... we all wanna
stop Matsson, right?

That's the thing?

Yeah.

Go... go on.

Well, I think whatever...

Whatever advantage to us
as... as... as corporate players

in the short term...

You know...

He's... Mencken's
the nightmare, yeah?

Plausible in a decadent era.

He says the bad shit,
he believes the bad shit.

We wouldn't actually
be making him president.

Sure. We might not be
able to crown him, but we can...

We can stop him.

He gets momentum
tonight, it makes it possible.

He needs our call.

I don't think I'm a
very good father.

You are. You're...
No, you're okay.

You've tried.
That's all we can do.

- Maybe the poison drips through.
- No. No. And you know what?

I don't think even Dad
would back him tonight.

- He basically picked him.
- Sure, but we throw the papers

and the whole thing in for him?

And then in a... in a
month, a week from now,

the courts go the other way?

It's... We're essentially
done as a news organization.

It's just hard to think

we'd give it all
away to Matsson.

Could we try?
Could you try once?

Direct to Nate, to get something
from them to block the deal?

Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Sure.

- One of these?
- Yeah.

You're a good guy.

Okay, yeah.

Hey, Nate.

Yeah, just calling with
a quick, check-in.

- Yeah.
- We're sorry. The number you have reached...

- To be honest, just wondering if Jimenez...
- Is not in service.

- Please check the number, or try your call again.
- I don't know, could he...

- So, um...
- Mencken now stands at 265...

Yeah, Shiv's seeing what
we can get from the Dems.

Get the fuck out of here.

- Why? We got it.
- I really need to know what we're doing, guys.

If we're gonna stick
with Wisconsin...

- Okay, one moment. One moment, Tom. One moment.
- We're gonna stick...

So? You talk to him?

Yeah. I think there's...

there's... there's
something there.

- No, there's not.
- Like? Like?

Like, they might be...
They are... willing to think.

They might be,
or maybe they are,

willing to think. Maybe.

- That sounds like horseshit.
- No. Rome.

They're just not so direct.

Yeah? I... I... I think we can
probably get 'em to stop it.

They
"probably." Yeah, go.

Sorry, no.
Game over. Bullshit.

No. We have to call it.

- Mencken is rock-solid.
- Roman, even Dad...

Even... even Dad,
in this situation,

- would respect the process.
- No!

Dad did whatever
the fuck he wanted.

He... One fax, he
took out a government.

He did the "Fuck Lyle!" Send.

And that was it.
That's all it took.

Fucking Canada, here.
He didn't give a shit.

He liked stability,
Rome. He pushed,

but he didn't want
shit to unravel.

He... he helped end... I
mean, he ended wars.

He ended wars that he started.

He did whatever
the fuck he wanted.

What did they say, Shiv?

Like, what did
Nate actually say?

He said, they would talk,

and that they could
see the arguments,

and I... I... I think
it's encouraging.

You felt like it
was encouraging? Wow!

It was. It
was encouraging.

It was a feeling. I
got something real.

This is fuckin' pointless.

- What a waste of time.
- What are you doing?

I'm gonna call. I...
I... I'm just gonna...

I'm gonna be very direct.

We just... we just
need a little bit more,

and, SHIV:
Don't call him.

Why?

They're... They're busy.

Can't have
uncertainty. Can't. Fucking market.

The chaos of trying to
rerun an entire election

could just send the country
into meltdown, you know?

- Okay. Bad faith argument.
- I'm telling you.

I'm just telling you. You
cannot have uncertainty.

- China is coming.
- "China is coming"?

- China's coming.
- China's already been. Next.

It's not like the
fucking "final" final anyway.

Okay? There's the court shit,

and it all kind of just
fuzzes along, you know?

It's just a waste
of fucking time.

That we don't have, by the way.

Hey, Greg?
Can I ask you a question?

What's up?

Do you know if there's
something going on?

What else Nate and Gil and
fucking Jimenez offer you?

Unlimited social security
spending with this one weird trick?

How was that call?

What'd you get? Whole
bunch of not much?

- What?
- "I think you're a good guy"?

Well... I
found it hard to get Nate,

so I summarized
some impressions.

Right, right, right.
Smart. Really good, Shiv.

But you lied.

Right?

She didn't get
anything from Nate.

- Really?
- She didn't speak to Nate.

And she's in with Matsson.

Sorry, what?

No, I... No.

No. I... I... I... I did
what we all agreed to,

that I got close to him
so that I could help...

- Shiv's fucking us. Right, Shivy?
- Wow.

No. No! No, no,
no. I... I... I... I... I... I...

"I... I...
I... I... I..." -...was...

I fucking some asked you
some real questions, Shiv.

I wondered why you
looked like a goose

trying to shit a house
brick, you piece of dirt.

Okay, what? You got yourself
a little fucking side deal here?

No. No. I have some
options. I... I was...

I was going through with the plan.

- And then you two...
- Well, Mencken. Mencken, right?

- Mencken.
- No! What?

Tom!

No! You even wanted to
push us out of the fucking nest.

- Sure, sis. Sure, sure, sure.
- Please! Ken.

Aside from all this,
this is not the right thing.

Aside from
the fact that you lied to us,

and that doing what you
want precisely plays into

- your own interests, yeah?
- And this doesn't? Yeah?

Ken, please, come on.
Come on! Who are we?

Yeah. Will no one
think of the children?

You know what? No, I'm
not gonna let this happen.

There comes a time...

- "There comes a time..."
- when you have to stand up for what you...

Seriously. This is real.

Okay? I have a concern

for the state of the republic,
and... and pluralism and...

- And the future of this country.
- I'm snoring.

- You're so boring.
- And it... It is real.

You're such
a bore, Shiv. Jesus.

- Fuck you. Ken?
- He's right.

Yeah. You're boring. And you
don't have a pass for in here.

Okay, well, fine. You know
what? I'm... Maybe I'll... I'll go pu...

I'll... I'll... I'll go public.

- Yeah?
- I'll go to the papers,

and people, and... and tell 'em
what you're actually fucking doing.

Wow. Well, if
you're gonna just be hysterical,

we're gonna have to, you know,

- ask you to leave.
- Fuck you!

People are trying to do
some serious work in here.

Fuck you. This is about
the future of the country.

No, I think it's
because you broke up

with your boyfriend.

Jesus, you're a prick.

Hello.

- Hey, Tom.
- Hey.

- So, call it. You can call it.
- No!

- We're calling it?
- Yeah. We called Wisconsin,

now we're gonna call
Arizona, so we call the election.

- We call the election?
- Call it.

- Call it.
- No. No, Tom. No.

You're making a
terrible mistake.

- Please don't.
- Hey, guys, it's not my call.

It's not my call.

- It's your call. It's up to you.
- Okay? It's our call.

- If you say so, I say so.
- Call it. I say so.

Fucking Pontius Pilate.

No one cares.
No one... no one cares.

- Hey, yeah. Okay.
- Hey. Tell 'em I'm coming down.

Yes. We're gonna call it.
Yeah, we're calling for Mencken.

All right.

Okay. Tell 'em I'm
coming. All right. Okay.

- Great work, Tom.
- Thank you.

Good stuff. Great night.

- Fuck.
- You okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I, I... I...

I have to go, um...

tell them, I think... we're
calling it. For Mencken.

- Whoa.
- Yeah.

So...

- I should... I should...
- Right.

I should go. I'll get
in trouble if I don't go.

Okay,
dude. I mean...

Yeah. I mean,
it's not really my choice,

- right? So...
- Sure.

- I mean, right. Yeah.
- Yeah.

I'm just... I'm
pressing the button.

Or I'm not even pressing
the button, I'm just...

I'm asking them to
prepare to press the button.

Right, and all
that does is just, like,

launch a nuclear attack.

So...

It's not gonna change
anything if I don't go. So...

- Couple minutes. So, I mean...
- Right, right.

- You...
- But realistically...

Wow.

- Crazy.
- Yeah.

Crazy.

Crazy one.

So, Tom just told me.

Everybody, calling
it for Mencken.

He's calling it for Mencken.

- Everyone, yeah?
- So he said, yeah?

- I just said.
- I'm calling it for Mencken.

Okay?

- Okay.
- Okay, yeah.

Okay. Well, then, Dave?

Okay. Lydia, get
me "Mencken wins."

Get the ticker going
on, ATN Citizens.

Let the people know, two
mins, and ATN is gonna call it.

We are gonna make this call now.

The ATN decision desk
has looked at the numbers

and is ready to declare
Arizona for Jeryd Mencken.

This means that Mencken
will be the next president

of the United States,
winning the most unreal,

surreal election we have
ever seen in this country.

His candidacy
starting in Virginia

only six months ago

against a dozen other
Republican candidates

in the wake of the president

saying he wasn't going
to run for re-election.

What started off as
an unlikely impossibility,

now a reality, it is Mencken.

Well...

It's now clear I have won

sufficient electoral
votes to be declared

the next president
of the United States.

And I find
the responsibility awesome!

Now, I know there
are some who feel

there is something
left to contest.

But votes have been cast,
votes have been tallied.

On another day, in another
time, they might have fallen

in another fashion.

The election has
been called for me

by an authority
of known integrity.

Maybe we should
get, um, like, a history guy?

You know, like a brain...

Like a real brainiac,

to say why this sort of thing
has happened in the past,

and that it'll all be fine?

To my critics, I am
not a demagogue.

I am a defender of democracy.

But democracy, it has this
tendency that we have to beware

to become mere transaction.

I give you this.
You give me that.

I come begging for your
vote. Welfare checkbook out.

Crowning the welfare
kings and queens

till everyone has
become a little tyrant,

crowned by the state.

The model that I follow

isn't from the
scorched marketplace,

where cunning men
haggle for the best price.

That's not me. The
democracy I believe in

is where a leader
emerged from the people,

willed almost into being,

brought forth by
the great sweetness

of the virtue of the
combined wisdom

of the good people
of this republic.

Don't we long sometimes
for something clean

once in this polluted land?
That's what I hope to bring.

Not something grubby
with compromise.

Something clean and
true, and refreshing.

He's a guy we can
do business with.

Yeah.

Something proud and pure...

He'll play ball. You should
hear him talk semiconductors.

- And God bless the United States of America.
- The market's holding the leash.

We just made a night of good TV.

That's what we've
done. Nothing happens.

Things do happen, Rome.

President calling.

Yo, Hocus-POTUS.

Sitting in the POTUS
position. What's up?

Hey,
man. I... Look, no time.

But just... just thanks, yeah?
You and me, man. We'll go far.

Over the road and into the bar.

An election unlike
anything we've ever seen,

followed by a
speech for the ages...

The legal process
is gonna be lengthy.

When do you
think it'll all be over?

This... this could be going
on for the next three months.

Hey, Tom?

Your phone. It's,
it's red-hot, Tom.

It, A lot of very
important people are...

A lot of very important
people wanna scream at you.

But allegedly, allegedly...

This is a little pointed.

The call was made personally
by ATN boss Tom Wambsgans.

Um... Darwin wants to
know when to do his caveats.

Is there time for him to do...

- No.
- No.

He was
given by his decision desk.

So it's unclear whether
Wambsgans's alleged action

- was an error of judgment, or there was a personal...
- Hello? No.

Or political
dimension to the decision.

He is, of course, known to be
an associate of Jeryd Mencken.

Jesus fucking Christ.
What's going on?

Those funky numbers?
I'm sending you words, yeah?

Let's get 'em
out in the next 24.

- Lot of fucking news.
- You guys are crazy.

Yeah, it's more than
just fucking crazy, Lukas.

No, but this is crazy.

Yeah, well, we're gonna
do a number on 'em.

We're gonna fuck them so
hard. We're gonna fix this, yeah?

Fuck.

Can I come see the kids?

- They're asleep, Ken.
- Just... I know.

Yeah. Well, I can... I
can wait up for them.

I should be asleep,

but I... I can't.

Okay. I'll... I'll... I'll
see you tomorrow.

I'll see you
at the funeral, okay?

Some people
just can't cut a deal, Fikret.