Stumptown (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Stumptown - full transcript

When Dex's ex, a famous musician, comes to town for a performance, Dex must protect her from a stalker; Grey continues to receive the cold shoulder from Dex; Tookie and Lt. Cosgrove develop a new friendship.

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- Previously on "Stumptown"...
- Aah!

I got a job for you.

It's a missing-persons case.

- Who?
- Grey.

Are you done shaking your ass?

'Cause apparently, I got a job to do,

- and I'd like to do it.
- Grey called.

He wants me to take you to him.

Where's Ansel?

Why don't you wait for me in the car?

I'm just gonna have a little
conversation with Frank.



Ohh!

You put Ansel in danger.

Everything that I did was to protect him.

Grey, I don't know who you are anymore.

I'm sorry.

Miss Parios. Congratulations.

You're officially
a licensed private investigator.

Make a wish.

♪ Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ 'Cause it's star time ♪

- ♪ Star time ♪
- Here you go.

♪ Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Ohh, ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪



♪ 'Cause it's star time ♪

You know, I gotta admit,

I was nervous
about coming to a punk show,

but then I just saw my dentist.

Well, thank you for stepping
out of your comfort zone

and into my, uh, natural habitat.

- So, these are your people, huh?
- These are my people.

And, hey, um, thank you
for letting Grey off the hook.

I really appreciate that.

Look, you, um... you vouched for him.

You obviously have good taste.

I-I just thought,
after all the craziness,

we... we owe it to ourselves
to... to let loose,

- you know, blow off some steam.
- Yeah.

Let's get in that mosh pit.

No, no, I-I don't mosh.

Oh, come on.

100 sweaty people slamming up
against each other,

getting that aggression out.

Doesn't that sound like fun?

Yeah, if riots are fun, yeah.

You know, I wasn't even sure
you were gonna come tonight.

Well, honestly, I thought

there was a strong likelihood
of sex after, so...

Well, you are correct, sir.

♪ Star time ♪

I see you, Portland.

It's good to be home.

Three nights in Stumptown?

Anything can happen.

This song is dedicated
to the one who got away.

I'm talking about you, Dex.

One, two, one, two, three, four!

As a matter of curiosity,

how long were you and Fiona X together?

Um, five, six months.

Cheers. Thank you.

Um, yeah, she got signed
and she went off on tour

and I have not seen her since,
until tonight.

And when was this?

Mm, 10 years ago, Pre-X,

back when she was, uh, Finklebocker.

Fiona Fin...

Fiona Finklebocker is her real name.

- That's terrible.
- It's pretty bad.

Oh, man.

- X is much better.
- It is.

Yeah, I'd... I'd just gotten
back home, and I was...

I was trying to get out of my head

and I was going out a lot.

And that's when I met Fee.

It was a lot of fun.

Listen, I-I appreciate you helping me

get out of my head tonight.

Been through a lot, and I needed that.

- So, thank you.
- Of course.

Punk is not my scene.

- No, it is not.
- No.

But I'd love to show you my world.

Let's do something Friday.

Uh, you mean like go to a jazz concert?

Bowling.

- You bowl?
- Yeah.

10 pins, one ball,
stale beer, disco fries.

- Super sexy, all of that.
- I know.

Do you wear the shoes
that they make you rent?

I got my own shoes, Dex.

Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Yes to Friday.

I can do that, but, um,

if you want to get lucky tonight,

uh, let's stop talking about bowling.

Done.

So, how was the show?

Interesting.

That's it? Just interesting?

Kind of sums it up, yeah.

Sums it up.

What'd Hoffman think of it?

Wasn't really his thing.
He's more of a jazz guy.

Dex, how long we gonna do this?

Do what?

I mean, I'm obviously trying
to make amends here.

And, uh, I'm trying to forgive you.

But?

But since everything I thought
I knew about you is a lie,

I-I don't know who to forgive.

So we're gonna do this for a while, then.

You know what, Grey?

I think that we are this from now on.

Hey, isn't that, uh...

- Hey.
- Hey.

Wow. You look great.

Uh, you... Uh, you look great.

Well, I got a team of people
working on that, so...

Um, this is my manager.

Nick Tallarico.
I've heard a lot about you.

Really?

Uh, how'd you find me?

Well, I saw you in the crowd last night,

asked a couple of friends,

and six degrees of Dex, right?

Well, you... you... you found me.

Uh what... what are you doing here?

Fiona would like to hire you.

Hire me? For what?

I'm being stalked.

Oh.

I first saw him in Phoenix at the hotel,

and then he started showing up

to different shows, different cities.

And I think I saw him last night.

How long has this been going on?

Like a few months.

Okay. Uh, have you gone to the cops?

Yeah, but tell them what?

I can never get a good look at him.

It was just a glimpse, and then
he would evaporate like a ghost.

Anyway, I'm in town for three nights,

and I just feel like I need protection.

Fiona, you have protection.

She has a bodyguard.
She has a lot of bodyguards.

Well, I-I have rotating security,

but I can barely get
their names straight.

And I just need someone I can trust,

like... really trust.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll, uh, help.

Sorry.

Uh, it's time.

Nick will fill you in more.

- Thanks, Dex.
- Yeah.

It's really great to see you.

♪ 'Cause I can't g-g-g-get enough ♪

Tomato residue on the cabinets, here.

Actually, that's tomatillo.

Either way.

Well, you've got some permit
violations to deal with here.

What violations?

They'll be listed in the report.

What are you saying?

As soon as they're addressed
and signed off on,

you can reopen.

You're shutting me down?

This truck is not operational.

This truck works fine.

This truck put two kids
through community college.

There's a line in front
of this truck most days.

I don't make the rules, sir.

What?

Dex is mad.

Yeah, she sure is, pal.

You messed up.

I know I did, and I'm sorry about that.

Hey, are you still mad at me?

I forgive you.

Thanks, buddy.

And hopefully your sister
will, too, soon, okay?

But what if she doesn't?

All right, pub crawlers.

We have been to some
paranormal bars today,

but this?

This is the most haunted bar on our list.

Hi.

Hi.

What's all this?

This, I'm thrilled to tell you,

is a tour of Portland's haunted bars.

Oh, well, this place is not haunted.

- I'm sorry.
- It practically just opened.

Ah, but 50 years ago, this was a cannery.

A fishmonger, Dunk Hendry,

was tragically killed
in a sluicing accident.

Boom. Haunted.

That's insane.

You can't tell these people that.

- I just did.
- Well, it's a lie.

Okay.

I just brought you a dozen lushes.

They're gonna drink themselves silly

until they feel a "cold static."

But if you want to tell them I'm wrong,

you might as well just tell them to leave

'cause that's what they'll do.

- Sluicing?
- Mm-hmm.

All right, sluicing accident it is.

One question.

What the hell is sluicing?

- I'm Grey.
- Hi, Grey.

I'm Liz.

♪ Pretty hurt, you're fine ♪

♪ Did me wrong when you blew my mind ♪

♪ Like a witch, like a charm ♪

♪ Cast a spell so I'd be blind ♪

♪ You took control of me ♪

♪ But, baby, now I can see ♪

♪ No more games, no more lies ♪

♪ I see you clear with both my eyes ♪

♪ I'm not a doll for you to play with ♪

♪ Time to fight back and make you pay ♪

♪ I don't want to know ♪

♪ You can say what you want to say ♪

♪ Stones can break my bones ♪

♪ This love can't take me down ♪

♪ Going all alone ♪

♪ All the tears, all the pain ♪

♪ All the nights I cried in vain ♪

♪ You had your fun at my expense ♪

♪ ...I can see ♪

♪ No more games, no more lies ♪

♪ I see you clear with both my eyes ♪

♪ I'm no doll for you ♪

Hey! Somebody get security!

Get her off the stage.
Get her off the stage.

Go.

What the hell, lady? What are you doing?

I was just trying to grab a selfie.

Come on!

Your attention, please.

In an orderly fashion,
please exit the hall.

Hey.

You just cost me 50 grand
to reschedule this show,

not to mention the settlement

for the lawsuit this nitwit's gonna file.

Fiona was scared, okay?

And in fairness to me,
that guy was super sketchy.

Fiona has an active imagination...

- Mm-hmm.
- ...which has served her well.

All the songs she's demo'd
so far off her new album

have to do with oppression
and confinement.

Being convinced
she has a stalker after her

helps with that.

You understand what I'm saying?

That she's creating her own reality?

She doesn't need a bodyguard.

She needs a buddy,

a shoulder to bitch and moan on,

someone to score her a joint
after the show.

There's no stalker.

Just play along,

and don't body-slam anyone again.

Please.

Hey. What about my selfie, huh?

Yeah. Got it.

Nick, leave her alone.

You in A.A. now or anything?

No.

Great. Let's drink.

Caught that jewelry store robbery.

The son did it.

What? I haven't even looked at...

Security cameras went out at the
exact time of the robbery, right?

I guarantee you the kid's got
some sort of drug habit

or gambling addiction, whatever.

He needed quick cash.

He knows where his old man keeps it.

Thanks for screwing me out of
any overtime working the case.

Geez.

Hey, you okay?

I know this whole Kane thing
is pretty intense,

so if you needed an ear...

- I'm good. Thanks.
- Okay.

Actually, um...

I need a female perspective on something.

Lady troubles. Get at me.

So, um, I just can't tell
if she's playing games

or... or what.

The P.I.?

Yeah.

Miles, I could set you up with someone

who would completely
take care of you in every way

and wouldn't play any... games.

Anyways.

It's like... It's like
I put it out there to her,

and I don't know if I'm feeling something

or am I just looking at it
as a challenge.

And how did you "put it out there"?

Like, the words exactly.

Or maybe you didn't.

- May... Maybe I didn't.
- Mm.

Look, I know you've got badge bunnies

and whoever else falling all over you,

so this may come as a shock,
but some women...

you got to let 'em know how you feel.

No maybes. Just say the words.

- Say the words.
- Mm-hmm.

Thanks for meeting me, Lieutenant.

So, you are a friend of Dex Parios?

I am.

Wow. There's a full-time job.

She's, uh, misunderstood,

to a large degree.

You said that you had a tip,
Mr... Alvarez?

My friends call me Tookie.

I am not your friend.

Fair enough.

I may have misspoke on the phone

in that I don't have a tip, per se.

I have these permit problems
I'd appreciate some help with.

Permit problems?

Sign permits, grease permits,
propane, vending.

- The city shut me down.
- Listen.

Food service really is not
within my purview, so...

Your name's at the top of the directory,

and my mom always said, "Go to the boss."

Did she?

I'm a law-abiding, tax-paying,

born-and-raised proud son of Portland,

and I need your help, Lieutenant.

Please have a seat.

You, uh, cook Mexican food, I take it?

No, ma'am. Cuisine, not food.

And I'm a chef, not a cook.

You know, 25 years ago, or "ish,"

I moved here from Philly,

and I had the best mole sauce

I had ever tasted in my life.

What was the name of that restaurant?

Arturo's.

That was my mole.

- No.
- Yes!

- What?
- I started as a sous chef there.

Job well done.

Actually, it's a sore subject.

Oh. I'm... I'm sorry.

I worked day and night on that mole.

People started coming from miles around.

One day, I go into the restaurant,

and there it is on the menu...

- "Arturo's famous mole."
- Wait.

Don't tell me he took credit
for your recipe.

Took the credit, took the recipe,

took a chunk of my heart,
if I'm being honest.

I walked out,

and I swore never to make mole again.

You know, that is a shame for all of us.

The taco trade...

it ain't for kittens, Lieutenant.

Let me see what I can do
about this permit. Okay?

Uh, maybe I can get you an extension.

Can't promise.

I'd be eternally grateful. Thank you.

You've come a long way, Fee.

Yeah, step up from the Rabbit Hole Motel

in Winnemucca.

Do you remember that dump?

Yeah. That was a fun road trip.

Yeah.

Thanks.

So, I'm gonna need, uh, a list

of anyone who has backstage access.

But if you're bodyguarding me...

Is that a verb... "bodyguarding"?

I-I don't know.

Um, I-I'm not technically a-a bodyguard.

That's a... That's a different license.

I have a similar one, but...

Right. Well, if you're
by my side the whole time,

do you really need all that stuff?

Well, it wouldn't hurt.

♪ Something to burn inside ♪

So, um, who was that guy
I saw you with at the show?

- Uh, Hoffman.
- That's his name?

It... It's his last name. He's a cop.

They... They love last names
for some reason.

Are you and this cop, like, a thing?

I don't... I don't think so.

Do you want you and the cop
to be a thing?

I-I don't know what I want.

Mm.

So I still have a chance.

♪ In a new light ♪

♪ In a new light ♪

What else can you tell me
about this stalker?

Well, what if there isn't a stalker?

What if this is just

some elaborate scheme to get
you alone in my hotel room?

Would you run out of here?

♪ I guess that I'm begging for you ♪

♪ To understand it's complicated when ♪

No.

♪ They're left in the dark... ♪

That warms my heart.

♪ I never wanted to hurt you ♪

But there is a stalker,

so I'm gonna have to have
24-hour protection

until we get up to, um...

I actually don't even know
where I'm going.

I just go where Nick tells me to go.

But, uh, I can get you
the adjoining room.

- Cool?
- Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Uh, I just have to get
my brother situated first.

Ansel. How's he doing?

You remember him.

Uh-huh.

He's great. Light of my life.

I'm just gonna make a quick call.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Listen, it's taking a little
bit longer than I thought.

I wondered if you could keep
an eye on Ansel for me.

So now you trust me with him, I take it?

You know what? I-I'm sorry I said that.

That was cheap and stupid.
Of course I got him.

Okay.

Hey, I got to go.

- Hey.
- Hi.

How is everything here?

Great. We're killing it.

We're killing it so hard
that it's... well, it's dead.

Ta-da.

This is it.

What brings you back?

Um, you know,

I had this whole cover story
about a flat tire,

but it feels very elaborate now,

so I might as well just tell you

I came back 'cause
I wanted to see you again.

Well, I'm really glad you did.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Sorry.

Give me a sec, okay?

Yeah.

♪ I should have known better ♪

- Mm.
- Ah. A P.I.

That is so badass.

Well, it pays the bills.

Or it's... it's, um...
it's starting to, anyway.

It suits you. Are you happy?

As much as anyone, I guess.

Is this where you thought you'd be?

No.

Um, but it's where I have to be.

Do you ever regret
not coming on the road?

Be honest.

♪ I never trust my feelings ♪

I mean, sometimes.

I see you on TV,

or I, um, hear your song on the radio.

Well, when we were together,

you were talking about getting
your degree in psychology.

I was?

Yeah. You don't remember?

No.

I mean, um, when we were together,

I had just gotten back home.

It was all I could do

to just put one foot
in front of the other.

♪ Oh, be my rest... ♪

You know what I do remember?

A couple nights, you would
wake up screaming.

And you'd be covered in sweat.

And you would squeeze my hand.

I'll never forget that.

♪ I'm light as a feather ♪

♪ I'm bright as the Oregon breeze ♪

This was just dropped off.

Great. Thank you.

♪ Frightened by my feelings ♪

♪ I only wanna be a relief ♪

What is it?

That's this room, Fee.

He's getting closer.

Hey.

Thanks so much for helping out.

Of course. This way.

I'll see you when you're done.

- Okay?
- Okay.

What am I paying you for?

Um, to be awesome.

Dex must trust you.
She let me come in here alone.

Mm. What's not to trust?

I'm a cop.

The stalker could be a cop.

Sorry about that.

Um, can you think back

through all your fan interactions?

And I know there have been plenty.

It's possible that
you may have met this person

- and not known it.
- Oh.

"Double Fantasy."

Double what?

"Double Fantasy"? The John Lennon record

a fan asked him to sign
before shooting him.

Does anyone come to mind?

Look, most interaction happens
on social media these days.

It's all fans who love me
so much they want to kill me

or people who hate me so much...

they also want to kill me.

Do you mind if we analyze
your social media?

Yeah. Be my guest.

There's like six more phones
where that came from.

"You are safe."

Do you have any idea
what he meant by that?

None.

So, um...

what the story with you and Dex?

Let's just stick to this story.

You've never met anyone
like her, have you?

We're trying to protect you here.

Oh, and I'm trying to
protect you, Detective.

Be careful.

"Be careful"?

Women like Dex and me,

you'd spend your whole life
trying to figure us out.

Okay.

So, look, I'm gonna get this analyzed,

and, uh, maybe we'll single someone out.

Oh, um, I wouldn't go scrolling
through those photos.

Not safe for work.

Mr. Alvarez.

What is this?

A thank-you gift.

They gave me an extension on my permits.

A gift is a bribe in this line of work.

Then consider this a gesture

to a fellow appreciator
of the finer tastes in life.

Is this...

Chicken tacos with my signature mole.

I brought it back from los muertos.

That's "dead" in Spanish.

All right. Here goes.

Amazing.

As good as you remember?

- It's better!
- Ha!

Mmm!

It's so funny how a taste
can just bring you back.

I'd just moved here. I met my husband.

A lot of good memories.

Thank you.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Any time you get a craving,
you know where to find me.

If not, Instagram does.

- Okay.
- Enjoy.

I really think that
we should change your room.

Yeah, but why bother?

He's just gonna find me again anyway.

Besides, when I'm with you, I feel safe.

Did Hoffman tell you
how long it was gonna take

to get the info off your phone?

No, but he seems competent.

Competent.

Yes. He is that.

♪ You see dimensions in two ♪

♪ State your case in black or white ♪

♪ But when one little cross
leads to shots ♪

♪ You grit your teeth,
run for cover, so discreet ♪

♪ Why don't they do what they say? ♪

♪ Say what you mean ♪

♪ One thing leads to another ♪

♪ You told me something wrong ♪

♪ I know I listen too long ♪

♪ But then one thing leads to another ♪

I-I can't.

I, uh, could lose my license.

Yeah, but who's gonna find out?

♪ But then one thing leads to another ♪

♪ Leads to another ♪

♪ Leads to another ♪

We scoured all of Fiona's social media,

found some obsessive behavior
in the comments,

and then identified
a similar language pattern

between 70 or so messages.

- Same person?
- Not on the surface.

All different user names.

But we looked into it,
and many of the user names

were authorized under
a single e-mail address...

fionasangel22.

Tell me you got a name.

You think you can get me
Fiona's autograph?

No.

- It's for my s...
- No.

Martin Newtlander.

Addy puts him at a motel in Centennial.

- Good work.
- Mm-hmm.

Portland Police Bureau. Open up.

Stop!

Go! Go! Go!

So, this is what being on tour is like.

Hmm?

Fancy hotel rooms,

a different groupie
in your bed each night.

Dex Parios, you are the furthest thing

from a groupie.

I don't know.

I dropped my pants pretty fast
for a Fixx cover song.

Mm. This could have been us, you know,

traveling the world together.

Ah, I got to get this.

Hey.

Uh, no. No, no, no.

Now's good. What's up?

We got an I.D. on your stalker guy.

His name's Martin Newtlander,

and he's got priors in Florida.

Let me guess... um, white, doughy,

and super not married?

Amazing guess.

I'm texting you his mug shot now.

Oh, there he is.

So, I tracked him to his motel
in East Portland,

but, uh, he slipped away.

Keep an eye out on this guy, Dex.

He's definitely gunning for Fiona,

and he's wrong 10 different ways.

Okay. Thanks.

Is everything okay?

Uh, yeah, everything's fine.

Mr. Alvarez?

Lieutenant.

Is there a problem?

I thought all the permit stuff
was ironed out.

This time, I need a favor.

Your expert opinion, actually.

Okay.

What's this?

Well, I am a bit of a chef myself.

A cook, actually.

I dabble,

and I just was hoping

you would tell me what you think.

You want me to try your cooking?
What is it?

It's a Philly delicacy.

It's a cheesesteak egg roll.

Of course I added my own little zhuzh.

Cheesesteak egg roll?

I have to be honest. I'm skeptical.

There's a lot of competing themes here.

Well, why don't you try it first

before you lift your leg on it?

Fair. Fair.

Crunchy.

Juicy. Cheesy.

It's excellent.

You're... You're just saying that.

When I tell people

the water at the hand-washing
station is potable,

I'm just saying it.

With food, I never lie.

Well, I'm just experimenting...

What about a cheesesteak egg roll flauta?

I know what you're thinking.
Flauta... it's a hat on a hat.

But when I get an inspiration,
I have to run with it.

Can I play with this a little?

- Really?
- Truly.

Be my guest.

♪ ...get higher ♪

♪ Just another, just another wolf cryer ♪

♪ Tell the world, let 'em know
you think you're dyin' ♪

Well, it's thinning out.

What are you doing after we close?

Well, it's a full moon,

so I might squeeze in
some shape-shifting.

Maybe a little vampirism?

If time permits.

♪ If it kills you ♪

You ever hear of radical honesty?

What's the difference between that

and regular honesty?

It's like honesty on steroids.

- Mm.
- The theory is,

revealing your deepest secrets

allows for an intimacy
that wouldn't be possible

if you're hiding things.

You know we just met, right?

Look, if you want to keep things
on the surface,

it's fine.

But if you want something more,

I'm gonna need to see you have the balls.

♪ All the truth, all the truth,
it just leaves you dry ♪

♪ Never cared... ♪

My mom left when I was 6 years old.

I'm sorry.

I'm not.

She wasn't strong enough to save herself.

And if you ever met my father,
you'd understand.

Is this too honest?

Actually never done this before, so...

My father was a crook,
but he was low-rent.

He was a hell of a teacher, though.

By high school,

I was making bank stealing cars.

But grand theft is a gateway crime,

and by 18, I was a boxman,

and there was not a safe
I couldn't get into.

I did a few stints in prison
and met some pretty bad dudes.

And that's actually how I
got the money for this bar.

Tell me what you're thinking,
and be radically honest.

My place or yours?

Well, I live right upstairs.

You do?

I don't mean to speak out of turn,

but I'm beginning to sense a pattern.

Me too.

One second.

Okay.

I can't wait for you
to see rehearsal today.

Yeah. Me too. I'm excited.

I'm trying something new,
so I want to know what you think.

Okay.

- Hey, uh, get in the elevator.
- What?

- Push the emergency button.
- What's go...

Hey.

- Feel that?
- Mm-hmm.

I'm your worst nightmare.

All right. Easy, man, okay?

I protect her. Right, Fiona?!

Thank goodness you do.

There's a lot of crazies
out there, right?

Dex?

That woman punched me in the face.

You tried to stab her.

I didn't have a choice.

I-I had to protect Fiona X to save her.

From what, exactly?

$80 room service?

I protect Fiona, like she asked me to.

Mr. Newtlander, you are facing
very serious charges.

Now, my advice is that
you start getting honest.

I'm telling you the truth!

Fiona and I are friends!

She asked me to help her in her letters.

Go to my motel room.

Look... Look under the mattress.

You'll see.

Hey. Done and dusted?

Yeah. He's claiming
Fiona wanted his protection.

Let me walk you out.

That's crazy town.

Yeah. So, charges are gonna be filed,

and, uh, we'll go through
the motel room one more time,

and, uh, I'll keep you posted.

- Okay.
- All right?

- Well, thank you.
- All right.

- Hey, Dex.
- Mm-hmm?

I, uh... I've been thinking.

About what?

Friday.

Friday?

You know what? You got a lot going on.

So don't worry about it.

- Okay.
- All right.

My famous morning-after eggs.

Wait. How famous?

Well, after a few
hundred thousand served,

I lost count.

How are they?

So good.

All right, flatter me all you want.

You're not leaving in my favorite shirt.

That shirt stays here.

Grey?

Hey, pal, you're up early.

Why is she... Why is she here?

Maybe I should just...

No, no, no, you're fine. You're staying.

Everything's fine, right, pal?

My white knight.

- Mmm.
- I knew you'd be the one to save me.

Well, you know, Hoffman helped a lot.

I don't want to hear about him right now.

That was really something,
what you did back there.

Mmm.

Come on. Let's have some fun.

Oh. Uh, no. I'm... I'm good.

Thank you.

Come on. Come celebrate with me.

It's not really my thing anymore, Fee.

Oh, don't be a bore.

I'm only in town for one more night.

Um, I got to take this.

Come on. Open up.

Hey. What happened?

He came downstairs.

We were having breakfast.

Wait. Who's...

You... You had somebody here
while my brother was here?

Her name is Liz.

It was all very PG.

I'm sorry.
I was just trying to be helpful.

Ah, well, leaving would be helpful.

- That'd be nice.
- Dex, that's my guest.

- Okay. I'm gonna go.
- Please treat her with respect.

- Don't leave. Please don't leave.
- I'll call you.

- Classy, man.
- Oh, you should talk.

I mean, what do you expect...
I'm gonna put my life on hold

every time you want to get lucky?

I'm sorry. You're right.

I don't know why I called you
after what you did.

- That was my mistake.
- How long are you gonna punish me

- with the same stuff?
- As long as I want to, okay?

- You messed up, and I don't...
- I know...

Stop fighting.

All right, buddy, what's going on, huh?

Are you leaving?

- What?
- Like Mom and Dad.

No. Come on, pal.

I am not leaving.

But you're mad at him.

Yeah. You know, people... people fight,

and they, uh, yell at each other.

But that doesn't mean they don't
still care about each other.

Look, no matter how mad your sister gets,

it's not gonna scare me away.

Nobody's going anywhere, okay?

I promise.

Hold on.

Permanently, I mean.

You know, sometimes
I have to go for my work.

It's okay, Dex. I got it.

Thanks.

Okay. I'll see you in a bit, all right?

Okay.

Have a good day.

- Love you, buddy.
- Love you, too.

All right.

The silverware was a bit much.

Yes.

"Meet me in Omaha on the 13th."

"I'll be waiting for you in Chicago."

"Come see me in Denver. I miss you."

You wrote this guy letters.

You turned this man into a stalker,

reached out and stoked his obsession.

- Why would I do that?
- Attention?

Maybe you wanted to play
the damsel in distress?

Is that what you think of me?

Postmarks on the letters line
up - with your tour schedule.

Where were you last week, Fee?

Um, I was in Tacoma.

Wait. No. Hold on.

I was in... Miami?

Okay. Where are you gonna be next week?

Um...

I'm gonna be... uh...

She doesn't know.

She doesn't know where
she's playing night to night,

let alone a month from now.

There's no way she could
have written these.

Is there anyone capable
of forging your signature?

No.

Fiona.

No. He would never do that.

Open your eyes, Fee.

Detective, great. I'm due at the venue.

Listen, from here on out
the information download,

phone calls will suffice.

This is more of a face-to-face
kind of thing.

- You're under arrest.
- For what?

- For stalking and conspiracy.
- Me?

But you caught the guy
who was stalking her.

At your behest, which makes
you an accessory to the crime.

- What?
- You'll have plenty of time

to get familiar with it.
Now turn your ass around.

Nice car.

It's a lease.

Well, Nick wanted
to make you paranoid, right,

to keep you reliant on him.

Yeah. And it worked.

Was I always like this?

You've always been very trusting.

Yeah, naive.

Pathetic for someone

who's traveled the world seven times.

Oh, you've traveled all over the world,

but things around you
got a little bit small.

Hey, why don't you stay home for a while?

No, I...

The tour dates are locked in.

It doesn't work like that.

Come with me.

Run my security. It'll be so much fun.

It'll be an adventure, and I'll...

I'll take care of all the flights

and I'll support you.

You're my muse.

I have a life here.

This P.I. thing? This is a life?

Look, I know you regret
bailing on that tour.

Do you really want more regret?

Yeah.

You know, you might be
who you were 10 years ago,

but I'm not.

Fine.

Thanks for everything.

What is this?

The special. It's new.

Tacos a la Cosgrove?

Are you kidding me?

All right, here goes.

Sabrosa.

Eres muy amable.

I'm so sorry.

They just found a body in the Willamette.

Oh, God.

- Can I please get this to go?
- Yeah.

You know I'm married, right?

Me too.

Yeah. So this is just a...

A collaboration.

Thanks, Tookie.

By all means, Lieutenant.

My friends... they call me Bobby.

Is it unsettling being with me

and not hearing glass shattering

and doors slamming?

Uh, I'm trying to get used to it.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

But he's a really, really sweet guy.

Yeah, who cares about you very much.

I can see why the thought of
losing someone like you

would be unsettling.

Well, that's about the nicest thing

anyone's said about me in a long time.

His sister doesn't seem to like me much.

Dex'll come around.

And if she doesn't?

Then that's her problem.

But to clarify, you and Dex are...

Just friends.

Okay.

- Okay?
- Okay.

♪ Never went to college ♪

♪ Leave your comments
in the message box ♪

♪ He walks like Elvis Presley ♪

Why do they have to make
these things so ugly?

So you don't take 'em home.

Ah.

Hi.

Hey.

So, I don't bowl well.

Scratch that. I don't bowl at all.

♪ Saying my name ♪

♪ I have a talent for discretion ♪

Ball.

Pins.

- Simple.
- All right.

♪ As everybody's playing the game ♪

♪ What's that? ♪

♪ Hey, there, did you call me?
Are you lonely? ♪

Wow. Okay, wow.

That was terrible.

Why do you like this sport again?

The form, the focus,
but most importantly...

The beer? 'Cause that's...

No matter how bad you screw up,

you always get a second chance.

Okay.

I'm glad you came.

- Oh!
- Oh!