Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993–1999): Season 3, Episode 16 - Prophet Motive - full transcript

Quark and Rom get a visit from a rather strange acting Grand Nagus Zek. He shows them a book with the rewritten Rules of Acquisition to include rules like 'If they want their money back, give it to them' and 'Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever' isn't concerned anymore about profit and devotes his life to charity. Quark is worried and tries to find out what is wrong with the Grand Nagus, especially since he suspects Zek will be thrown of the Tower of Commerce and he and Rom with him when he presents the new rules. Meanwhile Bashir is nominated for the prestigious medical Carrington Award. Bashir thinks he's too young to be a serious contender and tries not to pay too much attention to it. To his dismay the subject is constantly brought up however.

Am I doing it right?

You don't have to be
quite so gentle.

Tell me again.

Tell you about what?

About the stem bolts.

I have 100 gross of
self-sealing stem bolts

sitting in Cargo Bay 11.

And they're all mine?

For only ten bars
of gold-pressed latinum.

Quark, you don't know
how much this means to me.

You don't know how much
this means to me.

With those stem bolts

my family will be able
to triple production

of our reverse-ratcheting
routing planers.

Glad to be of help.

Oh, Quark, I can't wait
any longer.

Why don't you and I
go down to Cargo Bay 11 and...

sign the contract?

No need to rush.

Your family's ship
won't be here for a week.

We'll have plenty of time

to finalize the deal
before then.

That's an unusual attitude
for a Ferengi.

I'm a very unusual Ferengi.

That must be the Saurian brandy
I ordered.


Rom, where's my brandy?

Forget the brandy, Brother.

You must leave here immediately.

And that goes
for the female as well.

Is something wrong?

There's nothing wrong.

Have you lost your mind?

She's willing, she's wealthy

and she wants to buy
our stem bolts.

It's going to have to wait.

Something important has come up.

Right now, nothing is more
important than this.

Grand Nagus Zek.

As big as life.

Go, go!

What does Zek want with me?

Looks like he's moving
in with you, Brother.


Sisko to Bashir.

This is Bashir.

Doctor, please report
to the Wardroom immediately.

On my Way-

What's this?


Congratulations, Doctor.

Well, thank you.

Now, will someone please tell me
what's going on?

The Federation Medical
Council has announced

the nominees for this year's
Carrington Award.

And the nominees are...

Dr. April Wade
of the University of Nairobi.

Healer Senva
of the Vulcan Medical Institute

Dr. Henri Roget
of the Central Hospital

of Altair IV

Chirurgeon Ghee P'Trell
of Andoria

and Dr. Julian Bashir,
Chief Medical Officer

of Starbase Deep Space 9.

Good luck.

There must be some mistake.

As far as I know

my name wasn't even
up for consideration.

Oh, it was up for consideration.

I submitted it myself

through an old friend
of Curzon's.

You deserve the nomination,

Your work
on bio-molecular replication

was both audacious
and groundbreaking.

According to Dax, anyway.

She's the only one
who understands it.

So how does it feel to be
the youngest nominee

in the history
of the Carrington Award?

It feels... good.

Excuse me.

I've got to finish some work.

What exactly is it
you want me to say?

I want you to say that you

are thrilled beyond
belief to be nominated

for the Federation's most
prestigious medical award.

Well, believe me, I'm honored
to have been nominated.

Well, you're not acting like it.

It's just
that I don't want everyone

to make a big deal out of it.

It is a big deal.

We're all proud of you.

I'm glad, but before you agonize
over the next few days

over the board's decision

I want to assure you
that I'm not going to win.

You don't know that.

The work you've been doing
deserves to be recognized.

But this isn't about my work.

Do you know what the
average life expectancy

of a Carrington Award
winner is? Five years.

Ten at the very best--
and do you know why?

Because the Carrington
Award is intended to be

the crowning achievement
for a lifetime in medicine.

April Wade is 106.

The last time she was
nominated, three years ago

people said it was premature.

You're exaggerating.

Maybe... a little.

But the undeniable truth
is I am way too young

to be a serious contender
for the Carrington.

Now, put my name up
for nomination in 70 years

and I promise you,
I will get very excited.

But until then, I don't plan
on giving it much thought.

That's a very mature attitude.

You sound surprised.

I'm actually astonished
but impressed.

So then we don't
have to dwell on it

for the next three days.

I won't mention it again.

I appreciate that, Jadzia.

So who do you think's going
to win-- Wade or P'Trell?

A cup of millipede juice,
hold the shells.


Rom! Rom!

Did you call me, Brother?

Would it be too much trouble

for you to put
these empty bottles

in the replicator?

Keeping my quarter's clean
is Nog's job.

Except Nog is on the homeworld
visiting his grandmother.

Then cleaning
will just have to wait

until he gets back.

No, it won't!

Until the Nagus gives me
back my own quarters

this is my home, too,
and I have had enough

of this mess.

Clean it up now.

I won't.

Yes, you will.

It's bad enough
I've had to put up

with your constant
teeth-grinding every night

and your incessant ear-picking

but I will not tolerate
living like some...

some Pakled refuse
merchant for another...

Wait a minute.

This is a bottle
of Aldebaran whiskey.

Let me, Brother.

I recognize this label.

This is from my private stock.

No, it's not.

It most certainly is.

Wait a minute.

What's that over there, hmm?

Trixian bubble juice?

Nog's favorite.

This came from my stockroom,
didn't it?

Are you accusing my son
of being a thief?


I'm accusing you
of being a thief.

These table linens...

this chair...

that table--

everything in here
comes from my bar.

Not everything.

When you're done cleaning up

I'm going to conduct
a complete inventory

and find out exactly what
you've stolen from me.

Now, get to work.


I refuse.

I work for you

all day, Brother,
but here, I'm the boss.

If you want this place
cleaned up, do it yourself.

What I want is
my own quarters back.

That makes two of us.

Living with you was bad enough
when we were children.

What do I do?

You... think.

What do you mean, I "think"?

You stay up late every night,
plotting and scheming.

And when you think, you mumble.

And if there's anything
I can't stand

it's listening to you mumble.

That does it.

I have been accommodating
long enough.

If the Nagus wants
to stay on the station

he's going to have to find
someplace else to live.

Are you sure
this is a good idea?

No one's seen the Nagus
since he got here.

He must be working
on something important.

If you disturb him,
he might get very angry.

I'm not going to disturb him.

You are.

Me? Why not you?

Zek likes me

so I can't afford
to get on his bad side.

On the other hand

he barely acknowledges
your existence.

So, you have nothing to lose.

Now, get in there

and tell the Nagus
he'll have to leave.

And whatever happens

don't let Maihar'du
intimidate you, hmm?

Where are you going?

Don't worry.

If you need me,
I'll be close by.


What can I do for you, my boy?

Grand Nagus

forgive me for disturbing you.

Who's disturbed?

I've been hoping
someone would drop by.

Now, come right in.

Why, thank you.

We'd be delighted.

Quark, I knew you'd be
lurking around here someplace.

Well, what are we
standing out here for?

I've got something very exciting
to show you both.

What happened to my furniture?

I got rid of it.

It was getting in the way
of my work.

And what work was that,
Grand Nagus?

If I may be so bold?

I'm glad you asked.


The book.

You are about to read
the shining triumph of my life

the one thing I'll
always be remembered for.

May I?

By all means.

"The Rules of Acquisition

revised for
the modem Ferengi. "

You rewrote
the Rules of Acquisition.

I hope you like them.



Rom, do you know
what this means?

Yes, it means we're going
to have to memorize

a whole new set of Rules.

No, you idiot.

It means we'll be
the first Ferengi

to benefit from Zek's wisdom.

The knowledge
contained in this book

could make us both rich
beyond our wildest dreams.

I'll be able to go
into business for myself?


Turn the page, Brother,
turn the page.

The First Rule of Acquisition

Go on.

"If they want their money

Yes, yes.

...give it to them."

"if they want their money

give it to them"?

"Rule Number 21: Never place
profit before friendship."

"Rule Number 22:
Latinum tarnishes

but family is forever."

"Rule 23: Money can never
replace dignity."

Oh, skip to the end!

Well, what is it?

Oh, you're not going
to like it, Brother.

I can take it.

Tell me.

"Rule Number 285:
A good deed is its own reward."

Brother, are you all right?

I... I... I just
have to sit down.

No, take it away!


Got to think.
Got to think.

There has to be some explanation

or reason
for why he's doing this.

Maybe we should ask him.

No. Don't you see?

He's testing us.

Yes, that must be it.

It's some kind of test.

The book. The book.

You want to hear more?

No, but it must be
some kind of code.

Read me the first word
of every Rule.

"If... never... keep...

"profit... a...

good... smile... honesty."


If never keep profit,
a good smile, honesty.

What does it mean, Brother?

It means absolutely nothing.

Maybe if we hold the pages
up to the light.

No, no. Uh...


Ahh! Ahh!

Mmm... mmm...

No, that's not it.

The answer must be
right in front of us.

I know!

Maybe the Nagus has gone insane.

Nonsense, the Nagus is the
most brilliant Ferengi alive.

I've modeled my life after him.

Don't ever let me
hear you speak that way

about him again.

But what if he really
believes all this?

How can he believe
this insanity?

No, it has to be part of some

brilliant, twisted,
devious plan.

The Nagus isn't
like you and me, Rom.

He thinks ten, sometimes
20 steps ahead.

These Rules are probably
the key component

in some vast plot
to seize financial control

of the entire Quadrant.

So what do we do?

The only thing we can do.

We put down this book...

and we walk away.

And when the Nagus feels ready,
he'll inform us of his plans.

But until then, we have to act
as if we know nothing.

I can do that.

If never keep profit,
a good smile, honesty.


Quark, my boy!

What say we buy everyone
a drink?

Put it on my tab.

But why?

Because it will
make everyone happy.

And that will make me happy.

It must all be part of his plan.

Wheels within wheels, Brother.

Drinks for everyone.

Compliments of the Grand Nagus.

Is there anything else
I can get you, Nagus?

We just got in a shipment

of quality Hupyrian
beetle snuff.

Actually, I've lost my taste
for beetle snuff.

It might be fun for you and me,
but it's no fun for the beetles.

Oh, and by the way, Quark

I just met the most lovely
young female.

She came by your quarters
looking for you.

Was her name Emi, by any chance?

She wanted me to tell you

that her family's ship
has arrived with the latinum.

Aha! It's about time!

Rom, watch the bar.

We're finally going to get
rid of those stem bolts.

I don't think so.

But we have a contract.

Which was never signed.

And frankly, Quark

you were charging an outrageous
price for those stem bolts.

She didn't seem to think so.

Well, she did
once I explained it to her.

You what?

Well, I couldn't
allow you to take advantage

of an innocent young female
like that, Quark.

So I told her where she could
get all the stem bolts

she needed... at wholesale.


He told her where to get
them at wholesale.

What am I going to do

with a hundred gross
of stem bolts?

My poor brother.

Oh, don't worry about him.

Eventually, he'll sell
those stem bolts...

at a fair price.

A fair price?

Ah, I'm very confused.

That's understandable.

It'll take some time
to get used to the new ways.

New ways...

Walk with me, Rom.

Your turn.

Ah, I don't know about this.

Would you rather play
a game of racquetball?

Chief, since Keiko's
been on Bajor

we've played 106 games
of racquetball.

Right. So throw a dart.

I'm a bit rusty.

So am I.

I guess the smart money's
on Wade or P'Trell.

That seems to be
the general consensus.

I mean...

Doctor Wade is very popular

but P'Trell is doing
some amazing work

in gerontological research.

Which one do you
think will win?

Either of them would be a worthy
recipient of the Carrington.

Oh. Of course,
if I had my druthers

the Award would go to you.

Thank you.

But let's face it.

You don't stand a chance.

You don't say.

I mean, I know
you're talented...

but I bet there's doctors
all over the Federation saying

"Julian Bashir,
who the hell is he?"

Chief, you are absolutely right.

I'm glad you agree.


how much longer is Keiko
going to be on Bajor?

Make sure the relief
shipment is sent

by high-warp courier.

And don't worry about the cost.

Rom, what's all this?

You're looking
at the Sector Headquarters

for the Ferengi
Benevolent Association.

Brother, I don't have time
to talk to you.

I have work to do.

I'm the new Senior Administrator

of the Ferengi
Benevolent Association.

You know, Brother, I never
realized how many people

there are that could
use a little help.

If you don't get
down to the bar right now

you're the one going
to need a little help.

The Nagus said
you'd react like this.

The Nagus is a smart man.

Oh, he's more than that.

He's a visionary.

He has plans, Brother.

And I'm going to be
a part of them.

What would the Nagus
possibly want with you?

Oh, he says I'm malleable.

And that he's going to mold me
into a new kind of Ferengi--

an evolved Ferengi.

"Evolved"? Into what?

I'm not sure, exactly.

But the Nagus says
that the answers lie

in his new Rules of Acquisition.

He told me, "Rom,
it's time for the Ferengi

to move beyond greed."

Beyond greed?!

There's nothing beyond greed.

Greed is the purest,
most noble of emotions.

Greed is dead.

That's the Tenth
Rule of Acquisition.

No, it's not.

The Tenth Rule of Acquisition
is "greed is eternal."

Not anymore.

The Nagus is going to shake

the very foundation
of Ferengi society.

And we're going
to be at his side

every step of the way.

What do you mean, "we"?

The Nagus has made you

of the Benevolent Association.

Your name will figure

on all our correspondence.

He never mentioned
anything about that to me.

The Nagus wouldn't dream
of excluding you, Brother.

As soon as we get
the Benevolent Association

established here, the Nagus

plans on returning
to the homeworld

and we'll go with him.

Think of it.

You and I will be there
when Zek personally announces

the new Rules of Acquisition

on the Grand Steps
of the Sacred Marketplace.

We'll be there, all right.

And we'll probably
be right alongside of him

when they throw him
from the Spire

of the Tower of Commerce.

The Tower of Commerce?

But... that's
the tallest building

in the Ferengi Alliance.

A fall from that height
could... could... could...


Don't you see, Rom?

There's something terribly
wrong with the Nagus.

And we have to help him...

before he gets us all killed.

That tickles!

Well, I must say,
for a Ferengi your age

you're in excellent health--

aside from some vascular damage
to your mucus membranes.

You really should stop
using that beetle snuff.

As a matter of fact...
I already have.

I'm glad to hear it.

Does this mean
you'll have to go in

for some exploratory surgery?

Why would I do that?

To find out
what's wrong with him.

There's nothing
wrong with him, Quark.

That's not true.

There's something
deeply wrong with him

and you have
to find out what it is.

I've done every test
I can think of.

There's no trauma

brain damage, mental illness.

His central nervous system's
working within normal parameters

and his endocrine system's
in terrific shape.

You see? I told you.

They're like a couple
of nervous investors

always looking for trouble.

Oh, well, I suppose
I should be flattered.

Thank you, Doctor.

You've been very helpful.



He's sick, I tell you.

You have to perform more tests.


If you don't get out of here

I'll perform more tests on you.

You have to do something.

Like what?

Put him in stasis, keep him
from hurting himself

until you can figure out
what is wrong with him.

I don't think that's necessary.

I can't believe
you're supposed to be

one of the five best doctors
in the Federation.

If you ask me, you're a quack.

No wonder everyone says
you don't have a chance

to win the Carrington.

Let's go.

Maybe we can make an appointment
for you to see Doctor Wade.

Good luck.

If I remember correctly

Nairobi is beautiful
this time of year.

Here, Doctor, for your trouble.

I can't accept that.

Why not?
It's only money.

Donate it to charity
if you'd like.

And you say he's not sick.

Oh, and, Doctor

I do hope you'll attend
tomorrow night's ceremony.


At the Bajoran Shrine
on the Promenade.

I intend to give a gift
to the Bajoran people.

A gift.
What kind of gift?

It's a surprise.

You'll find out tomorrow night,
like everyone else.

Come along, we have a lot
of work to do before then.

So many needy people...

so little time.

Aren't you done yet?

Breaking into the Nagus's
personal shuttle

somehow seems wrong, Brother.

I don't care.

I have to know what he intends
to give the Bajorans.

But the Nagus wants
it to be a surprise.

I hate surprises.

Now hurry it up,
before someone...


As you can see, my brother and I

were repairing the door locks
on the Nagus's...

This is the gift?

What is it?

It's one of the missing
Bajoran Orbs, Rom.

An Orb of the Prophets.

I tell you, this Orb
explains everything--

Zek's behavior, the new Rules

the Ferengi Benevolent
Association, everything.

It does? How?

I'm not sure,
but I'm going to find out.

Don't just stand there--
talk to me.

I know how you feel.

I know how you feel.

What are you doing?

I thought we should look inside.

I mean, we don't know
for certain

that there's an Orb in here.

Maybe Zek's just
giving them the box.

Don't be ridiculous.

But how will we know
unless we look?

Rom, it's too dangerous.
Leave it alone.

But, Brother!

I said leave it alone!

Rom? Maihar'du?



What's the matter, Quark?

Spinning out of control, are we?

Grand Nagus?


maybe not.

Looking for answers?

You couldn't find them if they
were dangling from your lobes.

Where's that old Quark

cleverness I've heard
so much about?

Or are you
so paralyzed with fear

that you can't think straight?

Answer me, Quark.

What are you so nervous about?

Don't you think change
is worth dying for?

All I want
is a little leap of faith.

Nice catch.

That's the wonderful thing
about mysteries.

Sometimes the answers
just fall from the sky.

What do you have to lose?

Open it.

Consider it a gift.

Yes. Yes.

Are you all right?

A gift.

A gift?

Zek said the new Rules
were a gift.

A gift from Zek
to the Ferengi people.

No, a gift to Zek from them.

Don't you see?

They did it.

They put the idea for the
new Rules into Zek's head.

They changed him somehow.

They did?
How dare they?

Who are we talking about,

The Prophets, the aliens
that live inside the wormhole.

They did this to him,
didn't they?

Tell me everything!

Easy, Brother.

You know Hupyrian servants

take a vow only to speak
to their masters.

You're right.

Okay, give him a handkerchief
or something.

I'm going to try to break
into Zek's personal logs.

According to Zek's logs,
he obtained the Orb

from one of his contacts
on Cardassia Ill.

From there, he headed
straight for the wormhole.

His ship's log shows
that he entered the Wormhole

stayed inside
for only a few minutes

then reversed course
and came here.

You think he went in there
to talk to the Prophets?

In his personal logs,
Zek said...

that the future was looking
very bright indeed.

Don't you get it?

According to Dax

the Wormhole aliens
can see through time.

The Nagus must have thought
that he could convince them

to let him see the future.

That way, he could anticipate

economic changes
throughout the galaxy.

The opportunity for profit
would have been enormous.

But instead, he created
the new Rules of Acquisition.


Something must have
gone terribly wrong.

But I intend to set it right.

How, Brother?

I have an idea.

Does it involve me?

Not really.

Ah. I like it.

May I join you, Doctor?

By all means.

And what can I do for you?

It's what I can do for you.

I have a friend
at Starfleet Intelligence

and she has a friend
who has a cousin

who's married to the assistant
of one of the members

of the Federation
Medical Council.


And according to my friend,
her friend heard something

from his cousin
that his wife heard

from the council member

that I thought you might
find interesting.

Which is?

Dr. Wade is not going
to win the Carrington.

Oh, not you, too.

Doctor, I thought
you'd be delighted.

Even if that's true--

and mind you,
I'm not saying that it is--

the only one that has a reason
to celebrate is Ghee P'Trell.

Perhaps, but P'Trell is by no
means as popular as Dr. Wade.

According to your friend.

Actually, according
to my friend's friend's...

I get the picture.

The point is,
if it's not going to be Wade

it could be anyone--
P'Trell, Senva, Roget, even you.

I didn't think
I was going to win before

and I don't think
I'm going to win now.

Is that a fact?

Then why have you been working
on your acceptance speech?

How did you know?

Just a guess.

My goodness, I never
realized solar flares

could be so devastating
to a planet's agriculture.

Now, let me see,
at current market rates

2,000 tons of Kohlanese barley

would cost me a 189 bars
of gold-pressed latinum.

But it's worth it.

I can have the first
shipment of barley

on the way to you in the...

Hold on, I'll be right back.

How can I help you, boys?


I have to be sure
that he's all right.

Grand Nagus, can you hear me?

Are you okay?

Don't worry, Quark,
I forgive you.

Do you hear that?

We have to help him.

Brother, this is
a very brave thing

you're doing--

taking the Nagus
back to the Wormhole.

I wish I could come with you...
but I can't.


Go on, get out of here
before you have me crying, too.

Don't worry.

Everything's going to be okay.

You know, my boy, I should be
very angry with you.

Are you?

Ah, not in the slightest.

I can't help myself.

I like you!

Now, where have you taken me?

Into the Wormhole.

What's going on?

Huh. This is
exactly what happened

the last time I was in here.

The Wormhole aliens
are delightful people

but they like their privacy.

So you did meet them.

How did you make contact?

Well, I see you've brought
the Orb of Wisdom with you.

That should do the trick.

Now, if you really want
to get their attention

open the box.

That's what I did.

Sounds simple enough.

You better hurry.

I got the dampening field
on this ship

for a substantial discount.


Is anyone there?

It is corporeal.

Doctor, what are you
doing in here?

A physical entity.

Not another one.

I get it.

You're the Wormhole aliens.

Or would you rather be
called the Prophets?

I never could figure
that one out.

Did the Sisko send you?



What does he have to do
with anything?

The Sisko taught us
about corporeal life-forms.

About linguistic communication.

And linear time.

I know all about it.

He's quite a guy

but I'm not here
to talk about Sisko.

Then why are you here?

I'm here to talk
about the Nagus.

The Nagus?

The other Ferengi
who visited you.

The one who brought the Orb.

We are aware of the Zek.

He came to see you
to ask for help.

He wanted to learn
about the future.

The Zek wanted to know
the outcome of the game

before it was played.

That's right.

So what went wrong?

At first, we did not understand
the Zek's request.

The Sisko said
that corporeal beings

value their linear existence.

The Zek wanted
to understand events

outside the restrictions
of linear time.

He wanted to see the future

so he could gain by it.

Yes, the Zek explained
the value of gain--

how more is preferable to less.

He taught you about profit.

We found the concept...




We could not comprehend
how any species could lead

such a barren existence.

It has its advantages.

We don't agree.

We found the Zek's adversarial
nature invasive, threatening.

We examined
your species' history.

The totality of your existence.

We discovered that you have not
always been as you are now.

We haven't?

There was a time

when your people's
acquiring nature

was not so pronounced.

Wait a second.

Are you telling me that you
somehow de-evolved the Nagus?

We have restored
the Zek to an earlier

less adversarial
state of existence.

You can't do that.

The Nagus is the financial
leader of billions of Ferengi.

I demand that you re-evolve
him immediately.

This one is adversarial, too.



We should do to this one
what we did with the other:

Restore it
to a purer existence.

Counteract its
adversarial nature.

Wait, let's not be hasty.

There's nothing wrong
with acquiring profit.

That is what the Zek said.

And he was right.

Look, I don't know
how you people live

but all of us corporeal,
linear whatevers

have certain things in common.

And one of those things is...

the need to improve ourselves.

Our ambition
to improve ourselves

motivates everything we do.

Without ambition, without--
dare I say it?-- greed

people would lie around
all day doing nothing.

They wouldn't work.

They wouldn't bathe.

They wouldn't even eat.

They'd starve to death.

Is that what you want?

Are you so isolated
and detached

that you would sit back
and allow the extinction

of every corporeal being
in the galaxy?

Your argument is specious.

Changing you will not result
in the termination

of all corporeal existence.

All right.

So maybe I exaggerated a little.

We should alter this one

and return it
to its own species.


It is best to avoid contact
with this species.

Wait. If you don't want
to have any more contact

with the Ferengi,
that's fine with me

but by altering me,
you won't be avoiding contact

you'll be encouraging it.

My people are very inquisitive,
and if you change me

they're going to want to know
what happened

and they're going
to come here to find out

just as I came to find out
what happened to Zek.

That is linear.

And potentially
very annoying to you.

But, on the other hand,
if you leave me alone

and you put the Nagus back
the way he was when you met him

I guarantee you,
you'll never have to talk

with another Ferengi again.

So what do you say?

Linguistic communication
is tiresome.

My point exactly.

Which is why I think
you should send me ba...




are you all right?

I think so.

What about you?

Oh, stop toadying up to me,
Quark, it's revolting.

Just get me out of here.

I have an Orb to sell
to the Bajorans.

Did you say "sell"?

I'm going to make them pay
through the nose.

Speaking of nose,
where is my beetle snuff?

Oh, Nagus, you're back.

I'm so happy-

You're wrinkling my suit.

Whatever you say.

And now, it is with great pride
that I present the nominees

for this year's
Carrington Award.

For this year's
Carrington Award.

They are Dr. April Wade,
Senva of Vulcan

Dr. Henri Roget,
Chirurgeon Ghee P'Trell

and Dr. Julian Bashir.

Good luck.

The winner is...


Henri Roget.


How could they give it to Roget?

Better luck next time.

Maybe... in 40 or 50 years.



You seem to be
handling this well.

Believe me...

I'm not.

I didn't think so.

Now, remember
what I said, Quark.

If anyone asks, you have
no idea what happened

to the charity money.

You can count on me.

And you're sure you've
destroyed every last copy

of The Revised Rules
of Acquisition?

The only place the new Rules
exist is inside my head.



don't worry.

Within a week

he'll have forgotten them all.

He'd better.

I don't believe it, Brother.

After all you did for the Nagus,
he never even thanked you.

He doesn't have to thank me--
he's the Nagus.

There's only one thing
that bothers me.

Don't get me wrong.

I was honored
to help the Nagus.

But it would have been
nice if I'd been able

to make a little profit
for all my troubles.

That's all right.

I made enough profit
for the both of us.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the Ferengi
Benevolent Association.

Did you know it was funded
with Zek's personal fortune?

I was the Senior
Administrator, Brother.

You embezzled money?

From the Nagus?


Father would be proud.