Smash (2012–2013): Season 1, Episode 6 - Smash - full transcript

The workshop is being shown to potential investors. It's not good timing for either the creative team or Ivy has she has come down with a vocal stress issue, which is affecting her ability to sing. Ivy is prescribed steroids to overcome the issue, but since she is hypersensitive to drugs, she has to make the decision to let the stress heal itself without the drugs which means probably allowing Karen to take over the lead for the workshop and potentially for the show, or to take the steroids and face the side effects. Meanwhile, Karen reluctantly accepts a gig that was originally Ivy's to sing at a bar mitzvah. Performing at the gig has an unexpected result for Karen. Eileen is feeling more confident in her life with Ellis now acting as her assistant. Tom continues his courtship with John. And after her passionate kiss with Michael, Julia tries whatever she can to avoid any personal contact with him, with little success.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Previously, on "Smash".

♪ let's be bad.

- Am I late?
- No, Karen was early.

I'm pretty good
with a computer,

if you need some help.

- What are the charges?
- Loitering for drugs.

♪ When you hear
the things... ♪

You humiliate me
when you're not ignoring me!

I have a pretty clear sense
of what I bring to the party.

- I'm Tom.
- I'm Sam.

Well, I know
what I bring to the party.

♪ Some like it hot,
and that ain't bad ♪

♪ her smile and your fantasies
play a duet ♪

♪ that will make you
forget where you ♪

You okay?


Do you want some coffee?

What time is it?

$7 million?

That's not a lot
for a musical these days.

Well, if you want to
give me $15 million, Ralph,

I won't say no.

Well, you'll need it
to get to Broadway.

Well, actually,
we're just looking at a workshop

and an out-of-town tryout.

- And after that?
- Ralph!

You called me, remember?

You called me up
and asked me

if you could come over
and talk to me.

Now you're playing
hard to get.

Why are you here
if you're not interested?

- When's the workshop?
- A week from Sunday.


I'm not saying I'm interested,
but I am intrigued.

22b comes after 18,
replace 21 with 19.

I have 12 replacing 21.

That was last week.
Don't confuse her.

When do they
stop changing everything?

Five seconds
before the performance.

All right,
if we put the fox number here

and then we put
the Johnny Hyde scene here

and then... wait...
The... the...

Yes, Natasha Lytess
scene here,

it will heighten
the progression.

My God, this isn't
a high-school science project,

- it's a bloody musical!
- No, it's a workshop!

A first workshop!

And people
are coming to see it!

Could we dial this down?

Look, there is
no discernible story,

linear or otherwise,
between pages 7 and 32.

That's not a gap.
That is a black hole.

And if you don't fix it
this week,

we're all going to get sucked
into its tidal force,

and all we'll be left
with is "Marilyn the red dwarf."

Okay, look, there's been
a really crazy situation

at home, okay?
My husband has been out of town.

My son has gotten
into some trouble,

and I've had to be there
for him.

That is great, Julia.

I am thrilled to hear
your oh-so-sad story,

but this workshop goes up in
front of an audience in a week.

Tom here has written
a beautiful melody,

but check it out...

The lyrics are half finished.
Whole song...

- Half the lyrics!
- Tom, it's okay.

No, it might be okay for you,
but it's not okay for me.

He is not using me
or my music as a club

with which to bludgeon
my writing partner!

Got it?

It's okay.
It always gets a little tense

with a new musical.

No, not that.
It's my credit card bill.

- It's bad?
- $326.38.

You're kidding.

- You're kidding, right?
- Can I see that?

I don't think I've ever
seen one this low before.

Have you ever
seen one this low?

My God.

I would be singing
and dancing

if I had a credit card bill
this low.

You're singing
and dancing anyway.

- Shut up!
- Get out of my head.

♪ Her smile and your fantasies
play a duet ♪

♪ that will make you
forget... ♪

Everything okay in here?

- Terrific.
- They're ready to start.

what can I do for you?

Derek is mad because
Julia didn't finish a song,

and then Tom
and Julia and Derek

got into a huge fight
over the script,

and Tom stormed
out of rehearsal.

I just thought
you might like to know.

I might like to know that.

where are you going?

To rehearsal.

♪ Her smile
and your fantasies ♪

♪ play a duet

♪ that will make you
forget where you ♪


- I'm so sorry.
- You okay?

Can we just start it
at the end of the bridge?

♪ Forget what used to be

♪ The past is on
the cutting-room floor ♪

♪ the future

♪ is here with me

♪ Choose me!

S01 Ep06 - Chemistry

One, two, three, for, five,
that's it.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight!

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight!

Yeah, well done, guys.
Let's call it a day.

Check over your scripts, please,
get a good night's sleep,

and no one get
so much as a cold from now on.

- Good night.
- Good night.


Listen, I've been having
some problems

with the whole transition
to the breakup scene.

We can talk
about it tomorrow.

I don't want to
take up rehearsal time.

Could I call you tonight,

or maybe even right now
we could grab a coffee?

Tomorrow would be best.


Did you talk to her?

According to the doctor,

her throat is inflamed
but not infected.

- There are no nodules or polyps.
- Did he give her a steroid?

She has
some prednisone, yes,

but she's hypersensitive
to drugs,

so it's not necessarily
her best first option.

So what are
her other options?

She's gonna try vocal rest
for the night.

- Okay, what are our options?
- Can we postpone?

- Well, that'd be difficult.
- How difficult?

Well, a lot of our investors
already have it on their schedules.

If we postpone,
it sends the wrong message.

Okay, what about our other Marilyn?
Can she do it?

Hang on!

Yeah, I'd love to hang on,
but I've just found out

I've got to do
an entire workshop

about Marilyn Monroe
with no Marilyn.

- For a day, maybe!
- I'm sorry.

I wasn't aware
I had an extra day.

Can Karen do it, Julia?

Can she learn the role
in a week?

- I don't know.
- Stop it.

And by the way,
don't you dare

breathe a word
about this to Ivy.

Stress plays a huge part
in all of this.

You've already been leaning
on her too hard.

If she finds out
you want to replace her,

it'll make it much worse.

A leading lady
with vocal problems...

No one believes that
even when it's true!


So what did he say?

It's inflamed.

Strained more than anything.

It's stress.

He gave you
prednisone, right?

Well, that's good.
That stuff is a miracle worker.

Well, there are
a lot of bad side effects.

Darling, you work
in musical theater.

There are lots
of terrible side effects...

Bankruptcy, alcoholism...


Don't make me laugh.

Look, everybody uses
the stuff... don't worry about it.

If it helps,
it's worth it.

Look, I have to go work
on tomorrow's schedule.

If you can't do it,
we'll have to get

the Cartwright girl
to fill in, okay?

I can't just waste the day.

Would you have to learn
the dances?

- I don't know yet.
- Can you ask?

Not until they ask me.

They better do it fast.

You know what?

I can do this.




I'm so not
the cook around here.

No kidding.


Most of them are...
are okay.

Some of them... ouch!

There you go.

They're saved.
I'm saving them.

- Mom, I don't want pancakes.
- You love pancakes.

You burnt them.

Will, can you please put
your phone away?

Why, so I can eat
your bad pancakes?

Look, I know that I'm not
as good a cook as dad.

Yeah, you're not,

which would be
why I asked for cereal.

You're cooking.

It smells good.

- Dad?
- Frank?

I knew there was a reason
I took the red-eye.

I'm so glad
you're home.

Me too.

God, I missed you.
Look at you...

even after flying all night.

I should go away
more often.

No, don't.

Yeah, don't.

There you are.

- Did you take it?
- First dose... six pills.

- And?
- I'm... I'm having cold sweats.

I've had a headache since,
like, 4:00 in the morning,

and I-I just
feel so panicky.

- I'm not in good shape.
- Yeah, what about your voice?

Look, Ivy...

I want to protect you in this
situation, but, you know,

if you take the day,

I'm gonna have to get the Cartwright
girl to fill in... You know that.

I'm fine.



Ladies and gentlemen...

Marilyn is back.

- She got better that fast?
- She's probably on prednisone.

That drug
is a miracle,

if you don't mind
the mood swings, insomnia,

hair growth, hallucination,
and weight gain.

Listen, I just got
a last-minute recording gig,

but I'd booked
a Bar Mitzvah for tonight.

Can you sub for me?

A Bar Mitzvah?

It's actually Ivy's gig.

She gave it to me
two weeks ago

because she was trying
to save her voice.

Ivy's gig... of course.

It pays $500....

All right, everyone,
Let's be bad.

Just ask Jerry.
No! No!

I'm not gonna ask him
to pay the maintenance

on an apartment
which is already in his name.

He owns the place.

He can pay the maintenance
without my having to beg him.

Listen, I'll have
to call you back.

Excuse me.
Your temp is...

Actually, I don't know
where your temp is.

What is it, Ellis?

I just came by to let you know
that rehearsals are going great.

Ivy took the prednisone.

- She sounds awesome.
- Good.

Do you need anything else?

Do I need anything else?

Do you need anything else?


Don't walk away.

Break is almost over.
We're about to start.

If you don't talk to me,
I'll make a scene,

and everyone will know.

That got your attention.

What do you want, Michael?

I want to see you.

I'm here right now.
You can see me right now.

- Alone.
- That's not possible.

- I'm not kidding.
- Neither am I.

I can't sleep, Jules.

- We're back.
- Okay, places.

Top of the mambo.

Two bedrooms,

living room,

dining room,

brand-new kitchen...

83rd floor...

And a view...

of the city.

It's stunning.

- We are the first ones in.
- How'd you swing that?

I have access
to Pam Corker's computer.

So, technically,
this isn't available yet.

If you wanted to rent it
under the table,

you wouldn't have to pay
broker's fees.

You boys are very clever.


Yes, the workshop
is next Sunday.

You don't want to miss it.


At this time of year?
How dreary.

Well, Nathan Lane is coming
and the Nederlanders.

Okay, thanks.

That, uh,
didn't sound too good.

into lemonade, Ellis.

So how much?

It's actually
a bargain for this place.

I'm aware, but, uh,

maybe Pam might have
something for a bit less?

In Manhattan?

Yes, on the island
of Manhattan.

Slit or Mini?

Can it be Christmas,
and I get both?

It's a Bar Mitzvah.

Ivy's Bar Mitzvah,

Have you actually
ever been to a Bar Mitzvah?

- Have you?
- I'm not hired to sing one.

Look, I used to sing
at weddings

all the time
when I was home.

The song list is pretty much
the same job to job.

- Where is this gig?
- Northport.

What, way out
on Long Island?

Maybe I'm not Marilyn,

♪ but I do have a job

♪ it's a Bar Mitzvah

do you even know
how to get to Northport?

Yeah, Long Island railroad,
then a cab.

I prefer the Mini.

Well, Mini it is.

I can't concentrate.

I kissed Michael.


He came over the other night
when Frank was out of town.

He was drunk.
I tried to get rid of him.

When we went outside
to wait for the car service,

he kissed me.

And you kissed him back?

Big kiss or little kiss?

- Pretty big.
- Julia.

- He sang to me.
- What did he sing?

Donny Hathaway's
A song for you.

I bet he sounded
amazing on that.

I probably
would have kissed him too.

You so would have.

- But I'm not married.
- Right.

I love you.
You know how much I love you.

I do.

You have to
figure this out fast.

You have to think
about Frank...

And Leo.

Too much talk about me.

Let's talk
about you, okay?

Tell me
about the new guy.


I like him.

"Good. I like him."
Simple, positive.

He's having
some people over tonight.

Meeting his friends.

positive, and fast.


Now we're talking.

Who needs a $20 Martini
from the Carlyle

when you can get a better one
down here for $7?

What's the name
of this place anyway?

The Bushwhack.

- That's a terrible name!
- I know!

You know, I kind of
love this place...

Old jukebox...


I didn't even know
people played darts anymore.

What's this?

that's the best.

- Yeah.
- Big buck hunter.

How do you play?

So I just shoot me
some bucks?

Step aside, boys!

♪ I stare at my reflection
in the mirror ♪

♪ why am I doing this
to myself? ♪

♪ losing my mind
on a tiny error ♪

♪ I nearly left
the real me on the shelf ♪

♪ no, no, no, no, no

♪ don't lose who you are

♪ in the blur of the stars

♪ seeing is deceiving,
dreaming is believing ♪

♪ it's okay
not to be okay ♪

♪ sometimes it's hard

♪ to follow your heart

♪ tears don't mean
you're losing ♪

♪ everybody's bruising

♪ there's nothing wrong
with who you are ♪

♪ yes, nos, egos
fake shows like whoa ♪

♪ just go
and leave me alone ♪

♪ real talk, real life,
good love, good night ♪

♪ with a smile

♪ that's my home

It's fine.

It's going to be fine.

You sure?

Because if I were you,

I wouldn't be so sure
of anything.

What the hell was that?

Hi. I'm sorry.
There was no cabs.

I had to walk from the
station in heels.

- Are you Ivy Lynn?
- Sure.

- You better get up there.
- Okay.




Welcome to...

Ethan's Bar Mitzvah!

We were in P-town last summer,
just window shopping for fun.

A house on the beach...
Small, a cottage...

- $2 million.
- That's actually cheap.

But where are you gonna
put your money now, you know?

What can you invest in?

Broadway musicals.

So how did you meet John?

Our mothers set us up.

- Alicia set you up.
- Stop.

He just came out
to her last year.

Last year?

You guys having
a good time,


Is everything okay?

I don't know.

Excuse me.

What did you see?

I don't know,
but it was really weird.

Marilyn was in the mirror,
and it was Karen.

Sounds like anxiety
and insomnia to me.

- Sam.
- Yeah, she called me too.

I came right over.

Let's get you to bed, honey.
Come on.

it just freaked me out.

And the next thing
could be... oh, God.

God, you bloat up,
and you grow hair.

I'm not kidding...
Like a wolfman.

- A-woo!
- Stop!

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

- D...
- A-woo!

I am...
this is real!

Ivy, baby,
you need to calm down.

- It's nothing.
- It's not nothing.

Look, she's just upset,
all right?

One of the side effects
can be, like, mood changes.

I know.
I've taken this drug before.

Lie down.
Come on.

There it is.

- What did he say?
- It's a text that says,

"might need you tomorrow.
Please be discreet."

- And Tom sent this?
- Yes.

- Did you call him?
- It says "be discreet."

If Ivy finds out,
it could make her worse.


Hava nagila come on!
Babe, I got to go.



This scene's a mess.

What are these?
These are wild.

Periodic table
flash cards.

There is such a thing?

look at this one.

That's actually my favorite.

I love that you have
a favorite element.



How are you?

We're good.
Leo's great.


When Julia told me
that you were DiMaggio,

I thought, "perfect."

Well, come over
for a beer sometime.

What can I do for you?

What are you doing
calling me at home?

Because you won't talk
to me otherwise.

You cannot do this.

I have to see you...

This is no joke, Jules.

I won't.

I'm going to
the rehearsal space at 10:00.

It'll be locked.

Trust me, I'll get us in.

Artie wants
a story from daddy.

I'm talking to my sister.

Sorry, Suse.
I got to go.

You want me to call Derek?

No. No, no.

You know what?
You guys are the best.

your TV, Ive?

It's over there
under that pile of clothes.

You want to
watch a movie?

What do you have?

Are we sick of Marilyn?

there's a rangers game on.


What's a ranger?

Okay, I'm gonna go make you
some tea.

Where did you find him?

Like three feet away.

I'm sorry,
but you really are

the straightest
chorus boy I ever met.

- You think I'm straight?
- You're not straight?

I didn't say that.

I interrupted your date.
Was it fun?

It was a cocktail party
with his friends.

It sounds hideous.

It was, actually.

His furniture
is upscale minimalist.

- Blech.
- I know.

All right, fellas,
last song.

Thank God.

You been checking
that thing all night.

You got boyfriend problems?

Just making sure
it still works.

Okay, you clowns,
I get one.

Let's do Shake it out.

It's on the list,
so just follow me.

♪ Regrets collect
like old friends ♪

♪ here to relive
your darkest moments ♪

♪ I can see no way,
I can see no way ♪

♪ and all of the ghouls
come out to play ♪

♪ and every demon
wants his pound of flesh ♪

♪ but I like to keep
some things to myself ♪

♪ I like to keep
my issues strong ♪

♪ It's always darkest
before the dawn ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out, oh, whoa ♪

♪ and it's hard to dance
with a devil on your back ♪

♪ so shake him off

♪ I am done
with my graceless heart ♪

♪ so tonight I'm gonna cut it
out and then restart ♪

♪ 'cause I like to keep
my issues strong ♪

♪ 'cause it's always darkest
before the dawn ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out, oh, whoa ♪

♪ and it's hard to dance
with a devil on your back ♪

♪ so shake him off

♪ and I'm damned if I do,
and I'm damned if I don't ♪

♪ so here's to drinks
in the dark ♪

♪ at the end of the road

♪ and I'm ready to suffer,
and I'm ready to hope ♪

♪ so it's a shot in the dark
aimed right at my throat ♪

♪ 'cause looking for heaven
for the devil in me ♪

♪ looking for heaven
for the devil in me ♪

♪ but what the hell?

♪ I'm gonna let it
happen to me ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out ♪

♪ shake it out,
shake it out, oh, whoa ♪

♪ and it's hard to dance
with a devil on your back ♪

♪ so shake him off

Good job, guys.
Thank you.

You okay?

my shoulders hurt.

It's just stress.

I'm gonna go for a walk.

Sometimes that...

Helps me, uh,
clear my head.

So I'm just gonna,

Go for a walk
and figure it out.

Don't stay out too late.

Chicken again, boys.
What a surprise.


You're not Ivy,
are you?


I'm Karen Cartwright.

You ever been
to a Bar Mitzvah before, Karen?

No, I'm really sorry.

A friend of mine wants you
to call him tomorrow.

Thanks, guys.

You got the security guard
to unlock the door.

I told you I would.


You cannot call me at home.
You cannot text me at home.

You cannot ever again
show up at my home.

I know.

I should have never
let them cast you.

Come on,
I'm pretty good in this.

You shouldn't have taken
the part.

I'm an actor.

Don't offer me the part
if you don't want me to take it.

It was five years ago.
I thought we could handle it.

Yeah, so did I.

We were both wrong.

you are married with a child.

I have Leo
and Frank, and...

- And here we are.
- And we can't...

Jules, why are you here
if you don't want to be here?

To get through to you.

- You got through.
- Okay, no.

I can't think if you...
If you touch me.

I can't think
even if we don't.

How about we...

Just look?

I so want to see you.

I'll only touch your shirt...

Like this.

You want me to...?

You're more beautiful.



- Michael.
- No one has to know.

You want me to stop?


Think your friend will be okay?

- Seems like it.
- Good.

Well, my friends
liked you a lot.

I was only there three minutes.

They found that
very reassuring.

They thought
I was moving much too fast,

introducing everyone
to each other.


I have to ask this.

Did you just come out
to your mother last year?

Aaron told you that.

- What a jerk.
- No.

No, he's a total jerk.

I did come out
to my mother last year.

I also came out to her when I was 8

and when I was 12

and when I was 23
and last year.

And don't get me wrong.
You'll love my mother.

She's really nice, just...

A little hard of hearing.

Got it.

- How's the voice today?
- "The voice"?

The voice is fine.


Do you want to know
how I am?

- Sure.
- I'm fine.

Tom and Sam came by
and took care of me.

They were worried about me,
because they love me.

And now
you're feeling better, yes?

Yes, I am.



Sorry about
the confusing texts.

I'm just glad
you thought of me.

- Thanks.
- Great.

And if anything else
happens, I'm ready.


So how'd it go?

Maybe I'm not cut out
for Bar Mitzvahs.

Did you at least
get a good tip?


Holy cow!

- Holy moly!
- What?

I gave you that gig,
and Bobby Raskin was there?


Bobby Raskin was
at the Bar Mitzvah you gave me.

- And you gave it to her?
- Who's Bobby Raskin?

Bobby Raskin?

You're from Iowa.

He's big.
He's like Tommy Mottola.

And don't say,
"who's Tommy Mottola?"

You okay?

That chick
really gets on my nerves.

Why didn't I just have her fired
the first day?

Marilyn would have!

What was that for?

'Cause you're awesome.

Hi. Hello.
Is this Mr. Raskin's office?

I'm Karen Cartwright.
He asked that I call him?

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you?




I think
we're about to start.

- And we're in.
- All right, everyone...

Our esteemed lyricist
has finally finished the verses

for History is made at night.

Since we're six days away
from an invited audience,

I'd like to work quickly.

So let's try it
with the original staging

and see if it fits
the new words.

Places for the second verse,

And if you guys
could try it without the pages,

that would be super.

Just do it.

No, no, no.
I got it.

- Great.
- All right, then.

♪ I see the questions
burning in your eyes ♪

♪ or is it
just reflections ♪

♪ of the stars
high above you? ♪

♪ Oh, I'm just your student,
and I hope you won't be shy ♪

♪ please make corrections

♪ yeah, on the sweetest way
to love you ♪

♪ Come and sit close...
Whisper close ♪

♪ tell me just when
to say when ♪

♪ Then we'll sleep
through the day ♪

♪ Then whenever you say

♪ that's when school
begins again ♪

♪ 'cause history
is made at night ♪

♪ so close the books,
turn off the light ♪

♪ and listen

♪ let my heart
be the teacher ♪

♪ no one here to disapprove

♪ as we review the lessons
you've been missin' ♪

♪ let the moon
be our only light ♪

♪ 'cause history
is made at night ♪

♪ Come here

♪ someday they'll write
lots of books ♪

♪ about our fame and glory

♪ but if all their reports
are just movies and sports ♪

♪ They'll be missin'
the whole story ♪

♪ Missin' the whole story

♪ 'cause history
is made at night ♪

Oh, for crying out loud!

Is it too much to ask
for a moment of professionalism?


"Sorry" doesn't help me.

I need something
that vaguely resembles sex.

Could we try that today
with our Marilyn, please?

I can do sex.

Then I'd like to see it.

And by the way, I'd love it if you
were singing at the same time.

Let's take it
from the bridge, please.

While we're stopped,
I have a thought.

Maybe you could give me notes

without publicly humiliating me
at the same time.


And maybe... maybe you
could remember that artists

are not football players
who can take endless abuse

and still do their jobs!


Miss Monroe
is having a moment.

Well, maybe a different
miss Monroe could do it better.

Miss Cartwright?

Maybe you could take
a crack at it.

- Let's take a ten.
- No, seriously, Derek...

We should have given them
more time with the lyrics.

I don't need
more time with the lyrics!

You know what I need?

I need to stop
sleeping with men

who are complete
narcissistic pricks!

And you're
not that good-looking!

And you're
not that good in bed either!

It's just a side effect
from the steroids.

You all right?

Yeah, I will be.

Well, that was quite a bit
of unscripted drama today.

I probably
shouldn't say anything,

but I rather enjoyed it.

There you are!

You found the Bushwhack!

This is Ellis and Zach.

Ralph Masius, my favorite
Broadway producer.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Could we, uh, have four

of your delicious Martinis,


Best drink
in town, I swear.

- I'm not fancy.
- I am.

The Nederlanders
are coming.

David stone,
Jeffrey finn...

The list is incredibly

- Show him the list, Ellis.
- No need.

- Put me on it.
- Put him on the list, Ellis.

Is that the reason
why we're celebrating?

Well, that and a couple
of other things.

I just landed a beautiful, luxury,

two-bedroom apartment...

Top floor at a basement price.

- Awesome!
- What neighborhood?

The Lower East Side, boys.

I, have a nephew
who has a nice building.

Cheers, everybody!

- Here's to change!
- I'm down with that.

Not bad.

How's your
big buck hunter,Ralph?

Buck what-er?

Come on, follow me.
I'm taking you all on.

We'd like
four more Martinis, please.


One for you.

Watch out, now.

It's my turn.