Sliders (1995–2000): Season 4, Episode 15 - Sliders - full transcript

The Sliders land in a world divided into Onliners, people who subsist on the Internet, and Offliners, people who repudiate the technology.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Oh, great. I knew this
was bound to happen.


Don't give me
that Mr. Spock stuff.

You guys! Do you want us to
come in, or are you coming out?

I don't think she's singing
you any love songs, Q-Ball.

I really wish that girl would
learn to just mellow out.

You wouldn't like her
that way.

Let's try to find
a way out of here.

We've got 10 hours
on this world.

They'll be out in a minute.

You know, he says,

"Don't worry because
the densi-mometer thing,

"whatever, makes the
slide perfectly safe. "

Well, I'm gonna tell
you something, Colin.

One of these days, we're gonna
slide into a solid object.

I'm very new
to this science,

but from what
Quinn has taught me,

the electronic matter is only
stable in an atmosphere of some kind.

If it generates
within solid mass,

we'd be crushed to death long
before we complete the slide.

Do me a favor.

Don't try to
comfort me.

There he is!

I see him!

Come on, man,
he's getting away!

Move, move!

Move! Come on!

Get him!


So, Rick,

on your way to see
someone inside?

Got a way in you'd
like to share with us?

Only seen one of these
once before.

entry key.

I'm not gonna ask you where you
found it or what you had to trade.

Just make it work.

Not smart.

Not smart
for a smart boy.



which tool
shall we use?

We can't just let them
cut that guy.

You're right.

Who the hell are you?

The Marines.

At least she is.

No people. Must be some
kind of model home high-rise.

With no way
in or out?

I don't believe it. We've
been here two minutes!

Get out here
and help us!

Get the hell outta here!


Let's go!

Come on!
Hurry up!

Let's go!

Perfect. Looks like
they're getting away.

It's a good thing we're on
the other side of this glass.


Online or offline?

Are those
our only choices?

What if you found a
portal to a parallel universe?

What if you could slide into
a thousand different worlds

where it's the same year
and you're the same person,

but everything else
is different?

And what if you can't
find your way home?

Looking pretty naked there,

No pad, no screen,
no ret-write.

So, just how'd you
get in here?

You tell me that.

Be happy to, if we could
catch a word that we know.

I promise you, officer, we had
no idea that we were trespassing.


There you are.


Yes, I'm Rick.



These friends of yours,
Miss Capshaw?

Of course.
What did you think?

Well, I thought
they were like...


No, they just
tubed over from Magenta.

They're not wearing rigs because
they wanted to take mine for a spin.

But they said that...

Just checking to see
if you were on your toes.

And you were.

Kind of on ours, too,
there, for a minute.

What do you say
we try on those rigs?


Great work.
Come on.

It's so good to see you.


Listen, I don't mean to be
a third wheel here, uh...


It's okay.
If you're a friend of Rick's,

I'm sure you're going to
be a friend of mine, too.

Well, you know Rick here
is a great guy.

Excuse me.

Ret me.

Think this Rick
is a duplicate of you?

No, I don't think
she's ever seen him.

Remmy's been visiting, and he's
always wanted to see the Ivory.


Yeah, that's why we tubed
it over here from Magenta.

Still pretty amazing to me
how all of that works.

Well, it's just
tubes and towers.

Magenta to Ivory
to Mauve to Cobalt.

Access tubes
link towers together.

Listen, do any of those
lead to the outside?

I mean, onto the streets?

The street?

Why would they do that?

"Outside is no side. "

At least,
that's what everyone says.

Location, please.

Home location.

F2F, at last.

You said you'd be coming
naked and netless.

So romantic.

But I never dreamed
you meant it.

If I hadn't rezzed up,
that guard would have...

But you did, uh...


I did.

I, uh...

I could wait
out in the car.

If we had a car.

Not much farther.
We're almost in.

Almost in?

Look, pal...
The name is Rick.

You saved my life.

That puts us
on a first-name basis.

Okay, Rick, I might not
be a rocket scientist,

but I know we're going this
way, the building's back there,

and we've got to
get back to our friends.

Yes, yes.
So you said.


You guys
don't look like offliners.

Come to think of it, they
didn't look like onliners.


I don't mean to
be judgmental here,

but have you guys been
in twin comas or something?

Look, why don't you just
tell us what's going on?

You've got these squeaky
clean buildings

that seem utterly sealed,
except to each other,

and out here
it's Junk Pile World.

You really don't know,
do you?

Uh, we're from Canada.

"Have and have-nots, and
never the twain shall meet. "

They call us offliners,
they're onliners.

Onliners. Offline...
Like in computers?

They have those in Canada?

All right.

"Never the twain
shall meet," huh?

So who you
bringing roses to?

Listen, you want in,
I'll get you in, okay?

What is all of this stuff?


We can order
anything we want.

How do you pay
for all this?


Mom and Dad
work digijobs.

Temporal lobe link.
REM stuff.


What is this
nasty-looking thing?

Neural implanter
for direct uplink.

Med staff
just delivered it.

I'm 18 next week.

That's when most folks
get cabled.

Only I thought maybe
we should meet before...

You get cabled.


Because I guess after,

you won't get around
much anymore?

Your friend here doesn't
seem to be up to speed

on much of anything.

Oh, yeah, well,
he's, uh...

I'm from Canada.


This is it.

A sewer?
No, I don't think so.

We're not going in.
It's my safe place.

Kludged it together myself.

Most ingenious.

When onliners
are through with them,

they put them
through the shredder.

It's a definite
no-no to have one.

An offliner patches in,
even if he's just lurking,

they come smash your keyboard,
break your fingers.

At least,
that's what I've heard.

Makes sense
to keep it in a sewer.

See, I got
another problem.

My mom is kind of down
on technology.

All right, Rick, you said you were
gonna get us back into the Towers.

So can we
get a move on, please?

Internal wireless modem.

I post a note to a certain
friend in the Towers...

She'll be wondering what
happened to me, anyway.

We see if she heard
about your cronies.

No, we gotta
get back there physically.

Not a chance.

But cyberline's
just a click away.

Believe me,
that's all you got.

All right, who's your friend
on the inside?

I want to know who
you're telling about us.

Her name is Joanne.

She's incredibly...

Sweet, smart.

I mean, there's nothing
she doesn't know.

We've been getting
pretty friendly.

At least online.

You mean, you've never
actually met her face to face?

No. Today was going
to be the day, but...

But you ran into
the Bowery Boys.

We call them

Yeah, that'll do.

Maybe it was for the best.

You wouldn't feel that way if that
guy got to work on you with a knife.

I mean, she doesn't know
I'm an offliner.

I don't know
what I was thinking.

That some roses
would make it okay?

One look at me,
and she'd have seen

all I am is just
a ginchy little sewer nerd.

You don't look
that ginchy to me.

So, come on.
Can we make that call?

All right.

I'm a node on the LAN,
part of a WAN on the Web,

but I can log on
to any station.

I just eyeball
a virtual display of icons,

look to select,
blink to click.

It's easy. Any questions,
I just ask my Knowbot.

Take a look at the hits.


You have mail.

Scan now, read later.

Look, you getting any of this?


The main thing is that
she seems to think that

I'm some guy she's carrying
on a net romance with.

Yeah, I picked up
on that.

But how do we use it to try
to find Colin and Maggie?

Joanne, I might be able to send
Rembrandt off with some friends,

but I'd need to
log on.

Do you have
a spare keyboard?

A keyboard?

Yeah, when I was,
like, three.

I may still have one
in the closet.

I can check.

You have urgent nowmail.

I'm in.

If that's Rick Montana,
then who are you?

Oh, uh...

I was gonna get to that.

You see...

Wait a minute.
What happened?

They hung up.


You know what I love more
than running into old friends?

Making new ones.

Well, it's not
an entry key.

But still...

Fetch a good price
on the dark market.

That, and anything else
you can put together.


What's this for?

I always pay
for services rendered.

And I just bought you.

Well, you haven't
bought us.


But someone will.

Some of those onliners

like their reality
more than virtual.

Of course, I'll have to try
you out for myself first.

Just so
I can set a fair price.

As for you...

I have piranhas at home.

You'll make
good brain food for them.

We are outta here.

Better log off.

Save the battery, boss.

I like the sound of that.

But it lacks sincerity.


Incorrect log-off.

Naughty, naughty.

Get this thing
off of me!

Come on!

Come on!

Get after them!

Get them!
After them!

You tricked me.

You let me believe
that you were my Rick.

I had to. I had to find
a way to get up here.

To get to my friends.

Can you reconnect?

I don't know.

With any luck, I should be
able to trace the uplink route.

You know, it really would help if you
could tell me a little more about this.

Why should I help you?

I don't even know who
you are, Quinn Mallory.

I can't believe I was
even fooled for a second.

You have none of Rick's...

His sensitivity

or his intellect.

Rick is a genius.

Hey, on a good day,
this guy is a genius.

Now, would you give him
a chance?

When Rick and I are online, we're
like two halves of the same soul.

I'm better than
I ever could be.

Sounds like true love.
Now, will you help us?

You guys are offliners,
aren't you?

You don't belong here.


Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Now, you really don't want
to call security, do you?


I'm sorry that my friend
and I misled you.

But I promise you,
we are not offliners.

Now, your friend Rick
knew our names.

The only way
he could know that is

if he was with my brother
and my friend.

What's your friend's name?


Is she your girlfriend?


But as much as Rick
wants to see you,

I'm hoping that
that's how much

she wants to
get back with me.

Hey, Q-Ball.

A lot of this
is pig Latin to me,

but I think this screen
is saying you've got a lock.

It's them, all right.

And they are
on the move.

Trick now will be to see if I
can activate his terminal remotely

and send a message.

What's all that stuff?

Overlay grid.
Onliner towers,

offliner territory.

So they're still
on the outside.

No, there is no way that
my Rick is on the outside.

An onliner would never
take his rig on the outside?


So, you've gotta be reading
that map thingy all wrong.




No, stop it.

Don't do that to me. I
hate it when people do that.

What are you thinking?

Downstairs, our friends
got into a little fight

with some rough-looking people who were picking
on someone who could have been your Rick.

No way.

No, there is no way
that my Rick is a cracker.

We don't seem to be eluding
them. Come on, keep going!

Run exactly where I run.

Not through there!

Come on, guys,
we've almost got them!

Let's go!

You make a pretty good
urban guerrilla.

What is this place?

Home sweet home.

Come on.

Throttle back, Mom.

When the alarms went off,

I thought the barbarians
were at the gates.

They were.
But we took care of it.

And who exactly is "we"?

This is Maggie and Colin.
This is my mom.


Sorry about the hard welcome,
but you know how times are.

We're learning.

You have
quite a place here.

I always ask myself,
"What would June Cleaver do?"

And then
I do the opposite.

You remember
June Cleaver, son?

No, ma'am.
I'm not from this town.

She was on TV
back in the Stone Age.

Had a son named Heaver.

Before the Net chewed TV up
and spit it out.

Chewed us up, too.

Don't get her started.

Anyone who didn't have
the money or inclination

to sit staring at a monitor all their
days were just thrown out with the trash.

And the others, thinking they
were the privileged class,

were nothing
but slaves to a machine.

I wouldn't have
one of them in here.

You have urgent nowmail.

You have urgent nowmail.

What you got under there?

You have urgent nowmail.

You have urgent nowmail.

You have urgent nowmail.

New friends?
You have urgent nowmail.

You must not be
from around here.

We must not.

You have urgent nowmail.

we're just trying to get
in touch with some friends.

Rick offered his help.

He offered you help?

This computer's
not theirs, Mom.

It's mine.


Shirley, no, wait!

I know how you feel,
and I'm sorry.

But this message
might be very important to us.

Whatever you have
against these things,

it's the only way
we can get help.

Now, please,
just let us get this message,

and we'll be
out of your way, okay?

You are connected.

There they are.

Colin and Maggie
are all right.

Ask him.

No, I want you
to ask him.

Ask him
if he's an offliner.

I want him
to tell me himself.

At least we all know
where we are.

All one happy,
electronic fam...

You have to tell her.


I can just lie to her
like always.

She'll believe it,
and then we can go on.

What, like this?

You know,
your mom goes overboard,

but she's got a point
about computers.

They can do
pretty amazing things,

but I've never met one
that can hold your hand

when you're lonely or rub
your neck when you're tired

or look you in the eyes.

Yeah, but if I tell her the truth,
she'll never talk to me again.

You have to
take that chance.

Guy's got huevos.

I'll kill him.

Yeah, well, to do that, you've
got to meet him in person first.

How could he
do this to me?

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Now, I thought you said that you and this
Rick were two halves of the same soul.

Yeah, that's when
I thought he was an onliner.

Now, I... Now makes no difference.

He's the same guy.

He can't help
being offline any more

than you can help
being online.

Look, you were anxious
to meet the guy.

When you came down
and you found us,

you seemed pretty happy when
you thought Quinn here was Rick.

Now, why was that?

I thought there might be
more to life than this, okay?

And I thought Rick
would be a part of that.

Right answer.

Why doesn't she answer back?

She must be
thinking it over.

What's taking her
so long?

She's gotta get over
hating you.

That could take
a few minutes.

She's coming out.

And she's
with our friends.


That girl mean
that much to you, son?

Yes, ma'am.

If you're going back out
there, better take this along.

Any one of you know
how to handle it?

She does.

Had a feeling
it was you.

Joanne, you're going to be
really glad that you did this.

I am?

Yeah, but outside?

Yes, outside.

We'll bring you back.
Don't sweat it.

You'll never know about
Rick or life unless you try.

Yeah, but outside,

Yes, outside.

And you're gonna
need a coat.

A coat?

So how do we get out of here?

Sorry, guys.
This is the best I could do.

You gotta be
kidding me.

Now, that was definitely
a different kind of slide.

I've been thrown out
of places before,

but I've never ever
thrown myself out.

This is disgusting.

My rig!
Where's my rig?

Okay, don't worry,
don't worry.

Here it is.

Oh, God.

Thank you.


Optimal function.

Thank God.

You know, you don't always
have to wear that thing.

We all have to have
our blue blankets.


First step
is always the hardest.

And you just took it.

Are you sure
this is the right place?

Everything looks
the same to me.

If Rick's compu-map
Magellan is right,

we should be
at the exact coordinates.

They're late.

I don't know
what I'm doing here.

I mean,
what am I expecting?

I told her the truth,
and she hates me.

She'll just kill me.

She doesn't know you
well enough to kill you.

Look, where I come from,
there's a saying.

"First plant a seed,
then see what grows. "

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

We surrender.

Remmy! Hey, there, bold and beautiful.

Farm boy.

Kind of nice not to have that
glass wall between us, huh?

I don't know, it was kind
of nice not hearing you.

Oh, that's no way
to greet the lady.

He was really missing
you, and that is the truth.


I like to hear that.

Oh, introductions.

From the intelligence in your
eye, I'm guessing you are Rick.


Rick, Joanne.
Joanne, Rick.



All right.
That's a start.

How much time
do we have?

Four hours.

All right, there's plenty of time for
everyone to get to know each other,

but we can't stay on these
mean streets, you know.


Yeah, we should really take this
little party over to your place.

No way.

One look at you, and Mom would
freak to the next dimension.

So, then, where?

I know
just the place.

Well, lads, looks like Rick
has met his online love

with a little help
from his friends.

We don't want to
get left out, do we?

Come on.

Candle lights, root beer,
dehydrated cheese soup.

Who could ask
for anything more?

Hey, baby, the good
life is what you make it.

They seem to be
hitting it off.

At least they're talking
to each other.

Yeah, well,
I'm rooting for them.

Any time two souls can get
together, it's one of God's miracles.

A miracle,
and good timing.

And hanging through
the tough times.

First love.

Sounds like
you're thinking about

a certain somebody there,
farm boy.

When I was little, there was a
picture on the wall of our house.

Mom said it was a star
from the New York stage.

Her name was
Audrey Hepburn.

I think
I might know her.

How about you, Remmy?

Shirley Browder.

She was seven,
I was eight.

Took her to the St. James and
John's DeMolay Halloween Dance.

She went as Cinderella.

And you went
as Prince Charming.

No, that year I went
as Ming the Merciless.

Mustache wouldn't stay on.

Sorry, I'm not
in my Sunday best.

Well, actually, this is
as good as it gets.

Sorry, I'm just not
used to having my...

Hey, easy there.

It fizzes up.

I can't believe you never
had root beer before.

If it doesn't come from the
digilog, we don't have it.

Look, I just want to say I know
how hard it is for you to be here.

And I really want to
get to know you.

Well, you pretty much already
know all there is to know.

Online, we could go
for hours.

I mean, it was pretty hard
for me to keep up with you.

I don't know
how you managed.

Got an IQ of,
like, 17,000.



Not really.

Mostly, I'm just a rebel
without a clue.

But I learn pretty fast.

Joanne, all the things
you said to me before,

you can say them
to me now.

Only that
we're right here.

Well, your keyboard
is over there,

and if you'd just give
me back my eye screen...

Oh! But then
you're an OF.

Your irises haven't been scanned and...

quit the geek speak.

It's me.
I'm not in here.

There wasn't anything
we couldn't tell each other.

Listen, you don't have to
impress me,

you just have to be here.

With me, in this room,
on this stupid ugly bed.

What do you want to know?

I've got
all of the facts.

You think
'cause you're online,

you're plugged into
the whole world?

There's a difference between
facts and really knowing something.

Wake up!

Come on,
have an opinion on your own!


Take me home.

I hate this world
and everything in it!


All right, come here.

Here, blow.

You don't really want
to go home, do you?

I don't know
what I want.

All right, he's definitely a handful.

But, then again,
most of them are.

He's impossible.

And he's incredible.

He wants to know me.

There's no me to know.

Oh, yes, there is.

You just have to
be yourself, that's all.

Will it work?

It's really
all you've got.

Oh, good,
you're all here.

Put that down.

You, I need.

Stay away from her.


As for the rest of you,

I think Miles
can say it best.




I think we need
maid service here.

Where's Rick?

Oh, my God.

It's okay,
he's alive.

How you doing?

How do you think?

They just dropped
a room on me.


We've gotta get you to a
hospital, buddy. Calm down.

If there's still
a hospital around.


Not before we find her.

Okay, we're not gonna argue
about this one, champ.

You don't know where
they've taken her, do you?

You have no idea.
It's okay.

I scrambled her signal. We
should be able to track her.

But I smashed
her eye scanner.

It doesn't matter because
she still has her CPU.

Where's your laptop?


I wouldn't do that unless
you're through with your fingers.


Say it.

Say it.

Ret me.

Welcome back,
Miss Capshaw.

This must be the end
of the cyber-rainbow.

I don't mean to be
judgmental, but these onliners

seem to think of
the outside world

as their personal
dumping ground.

They don't
think of it at all.

That's the problem.

You want us to go up there?

No offense, but I'm not looking
forward to a close encounter

with somebody's
discarded lunch.

Don't worry, we should be able to
shut the system off. Right about...


All right, so now
we just reverse the suction,

and it'd take us right
up to the penthouse, right?

It doesn't quite
work that way.

We are at the online,
ultra-modern side of this world,

and we are thrown back
to hand-over-hand labor?

Don't you just love
the irony?

Perfection. All the
world at your fingertips.

It's not the world,
it's just stuff.

My boys do enjoy
the good life

whenever they come across it.


I like you,
pretty Joanne.

And where you can take me.

Into every nook and cranny.

Every fine, sweet place.

We will strip this tower bare
and bring it down.

I have gotta get
some exercise.

Talk to me.

Climate control scanners
are telling me there are

four, five,
six people in the flat.

I can get height
and weight readings on them.

I think we know they all meet
the height requirements.

I'm guessing the big blips
are the guys?


That must be Joanne.

And this one, too close to
her for comfort, must be Jack.

How about the servos? Can
we get control of anything?


There are all kinds of
automatic functions.

I've got one in mind.

So what are your pet peeves?

You would have to be
at the top of the list.

Get this thing off of me!

Get me out of this!

Get it off of me!

Come on, go!

Get this off of me!

Hold it!

Back off.

For God's sake,
stop this!

Get this off of me!

Stop this!

For God's sake, stop it!

I thought you liked
being plugged in.

"Pull it all down
from inside"?

Well, this will put you
way inside.





Reinforcement's on its way.

I knew you wouldn't stick him.



'Cause I know you.

Like I knew you'd come
riding in to the rescue.


Love hurts.

It's okay.

Look, you're going to
have to be patient with me.

This is all very new
and very different.

I understand.

And you know you can get in touch
with your parents whenever you want.

We could even go
visit them sometime.


Or they could come here.

My mom is a great cook.

Well, I don't know if an
onliner would ever come offline.

You did.

Yeah, I did.

Anything's possible.

Now, my mom can be
a little scary,

but she's really okay.

Mine, too.

Oh, my God, Rick.

I was so worried.
Where have you been?

He was riding off on a white
charger to save a damsel in distress.

Or a damsel
under stress.


this is Joanne.

She's an onliner.
I mean...

Was an onliner.

I'm very pleased to
meet you, Mrs. Montana.

Just call me Shirley.

Come on into the kitchen. I'm
just putting on some cornbread.

Thank you for the offer,
but we really have to run.


Well, thanks for everything.


Bye, guys.

Hope you like home cooking.

I'm sure I will.

This is quite a place
you have here.

Yep, I just ask myself,
what would June Cleaver do?

And I do the opposite.

June Cleaver?

Ticking down.

You think they'll be
able to make a change?

Bring things together?

Let's put it this way.

They ended up better
than Romeo and Juliet.

Romeo and Juliet?

Yeah, Shakespeare.

Young lovers, sword fights, poison,

well-meaning monk
who screws everything up,

and the young lovers die.

You're right, they did end up
better than Romeo and Juliet.

Well, I am very happy that Rick
and Joanne ended up together,

and I hope that when we get to
the next world, we land together.