Sabri Maranan (2011–…): Season 4, Episode 8 - Episode #4.8 - full transcript
The Old Lady in the Corridor
So who signed your cast?
The whole class.
Tomer the hottie too?
-Leave her alone.
What? I just asked.
Mom, it itches.
What's the problem? Scratch.
No... -Mom.
Sweetie, I heard you,
there's not much I can do.
I... ache for your itch.
Be grateful you weren't born in our days
when the cast was made of plaster.
-Right.
They'd splatter this plaster on
that was as heavy as lead
and it was so itchy
and hot and sweaty
and annoying that you wanted
to take a bite out of it.
Take a bite?
Now I know
how you got where you're got.
Where did I get?
-To a three digit weight, babe.
Mom, it's so itchy.
Want Dad to take a bite?
-No.
We'll be at Grandma's house soon,
we'll ask her for a knitting needle,
you'll shove it in,
that way you can scratch.
How do you know
my mom has a knitting needle?
It's a diaspora thing.
Where you come from,
everyone has knitting needles.
Like where you come from
everyone has skewers for kebob.
You got something there,
it's a diaspora thing.
But they make the kebobs
come out the best.
The knitting needles?
-The skewers. -Ah.
Sanctifies the Sabbath.
-Amen.
Leave some room,
I made baba au rhum.
Baba au rhum,
it's been centuries.
Oh, you'll love it.
It usually has tons of brandy and more.
More? -Whiskey, vodka,
tequila, whatever's in the house.
What a great Sabbath dinner,
so calm, no special events.
Don't open your mouth to the devil.
Why are you involving parents?
I'm kidding.
Mom, I love you.
Family, family,
I want to tell you all
that Mom and I are going on vacation.
The Dead Sea again?
No, this year we're treating ourselves
to Bora Bora.
Wow. -Bora Bora.
Some classy place.
-Totally.
I don't like double names,
they stress me out,
like Baden Baden
or Azam Azam,
it's scary,
it indicates lack of originality,
laziness.
I think it's great you're going
to a magical island
in the middle of life.
Don't we deserve a vacation?
You do, absolutely,
but for us to go anywhere
something special has to happen,
a deal and doll vacation,
last minute crap,
a plane with no pilot.
I'd like a glass of baba au rhum, Mom.
Yes, cheers.
Well, what's on the news?
-Disasters.
Anything specific?
-No.
Routine.
And not only on one channel.
Look, all the channels.
They're competing who can show the world
in the most horrific way.
Sali, you want them to report
only on what's good?
Yes, absolutely.
All the news on TV
is about accidents,
strikes, corruption. Look.
No news is good news.
Here we are
with another fiasco,
familiar and old.
See, a report on the fiascos in hospitals.
It's awful.
Meet this poor woman,
the old lady in the corridor.
Rachel, isn't that...
Who?
-The old lady in the corridor,
isn't that Riki?
Which Riki?
-Riki, Riki,
do you know many Rikis?
Riki Rosen. There.
No way,
that lady is much older
than Riki Rosen.
But...
she does look like her.
I'm telling you, it's Riki. Look.
In recent weeks 14 have been added.
Oh my God, Sali,
I think you're right,
it is her,
why does she look so sick?
No one even told us she's sick.
Those people never talk about anything.
Listen, call Shani now,
she must be there,
be subtle,
ask what's going on.
Hey, Mom, what's up?
Is everything alright?
Is everything alright by you?
Yes, everyone's here, we're fine.
And everyone's healthy?
Yes, Mom, everyone's fine,
we're in the midst of dinner
and everyone's looking at me
talking to you.
You're not watching TV by chance?
No. Why, Mom?
What happened?
I don't know,
there's an item
on the fiascos in hospitals
and the reporter is standing
in the corridor like Snow White
and suddenly we see Riki behind her,
she's the old lady in the corridor.
What? Riki Riki?
-What is it?
My mom says she saw an item
on TV that you were in.
An item on me?
-What?
Why an item on me?
That's ridiculous.
Riki, my mom just saw it,
there's an item on TV about hospitals
and they saw you in the corridor.
What's Riki got to do with it?
I don't know, I guess they said...
that you're...
the old lady in the corridor.
What do you think you're doing?
Insulting me and offending me?
Me?
-Shani, let's calm down.
But what did I do?
Did I do the item?
I'm just the messenger...
Wait, Rachel,
they say the lady died later on.
They just said it.
Oh my God, Sali,
Riki Rosen died?
-Who died?
God forbid...
Mom, do you have something to tell me?
Look,
she died on the operating table.
Shani,
tell Pinhas and Shai
from me and Dad
we send our condolences.
She's not dead, Mom,
she's right here.
I'll talk to you later, bye.
Let's turn on the TV and see.
Sali, Shani says she's not dead.
But it was on the news.
She's dead.
She's alive. She's here,
it must be someone
who looks like her...
Calm Mom down.
Turn on the TV already!
Hold on. Here.
No, this one.
-Let me,
I'll do it...
What channel?
No.
Here.
That's the main reason for the death.
And the weather this weekend...
What?
We can't see it.
-It's over.
I'll ask my genius idiot son
to find it online,
he always looks for videos that I...
Never mind, he knows.
Raz.
Riki, were you on a TV show this week?
What do you think?
Were you in a hospital this week?
Sure, but not on TV.
Mom, I got a text
that Grandma is dead.
Grandma's alive.
Take a good look at me,
am I dead?
Don't take your nerves out
on my broken child.
Can someone explain
what happened at the hospital?
The kid broke her arm
on the school field trip.
Here's our child.
-Here she is.
What happened?
-You're finally here,
I have to charge you
for babysitting by the hour.
We're very sorry.
-Don't let her get to you.
Couldn't you make more of an effort?
You could be nicer too.
Oh yeah?
I've been stuck here
for two hours with your daughter.
Forgive me, I'm sorry,
it's just... the lines here
bring the worst out in everyone.
I have to...
-It's fine.
Watch out for the clown.
-Alright.
What?
She's right,
the lines at the ERs
are one long nightmare.
You only get attention if you're dead.
It hurts.
-Oh, sweetie.
Who needs these field trips?
They always end in the hospital
with a broken arm or leg.
Will you cut the hysterics?
She'll get a cast
and we'll go home.
Everything's so simple with you.
-Yes.
Not with you,
it's always complicated.
Why did it take you so long to get here?
Traffic.
As soon as I got the call
I dropped everything and left.
So did I,
in the middle of a meeting
and I have to go back,
I have an important meeting later.
Wait, babe, so do I,
I hope we get this nightmare
over with fast.
I'm a nightmare? -No...
-Not you,
of course not.
-You and your nonsense.
Where does it hurt?
-Here.
So what do we do know,
do we have a number?
We're in line for the orthopedist,
there's no numbers,
we'll get called over the PA system.
That's an eight hour wait at least.
But I have an important meeting.
-So do I.
What do we do?
-What do we do?
What's that?
Are you watching porno?
No, it's "Game of Thrones".
-Are you sure?
I wanted to see what everyone's
talking about for six years.
Fine, I'll go back to "Arte".
Arte farte.
Have you seen my headache pills?
Where did you put them?
If I knew,
would I ask you?
I can give you my pills.
Oh, the pills that Shai brought me
from overseas are wonderful.
I need two pills.
-Two?
One for now and one for the headache
Fanny will give me later.
Fanny? When?
Did you forget we're going
to see her in the hospital today?
She's having her procedure.
Today they replace her bag?
-Yes, did you forget?
Honestly, I wish I had.
Can't I get out of this unfunny visit?
Don't do this again.
Where are the pills?
On the nightstand by the bed,
on my side.
Who's that?
-Hello?
Hello, Shai, how are you?
Not too hot. We need some help.
Sure.
What happened?
-What happened to him?
Relax, Riki,
nothing happened to him.
What happened to you?
-Dad, we're at the hospital.
At the hospital?
-Oh no,
put him on speaker.
Calm down both of you.
The kid broke her arm
on a field trip,
we're at the hospital
waiting for an orthopedist.
But Shani and I have to get back
to meetings at work.
We have to.
-We have to.
Can you come here
and replace us?
If it's not too difficult.
Lucky for you
we're on our way to the hospital,
Mom can visit Fanny
and I'll be with the little one.
It's the big one.
-What a stroke of luck,
we'll be there soon.
Thanks, Mom,
it just so happens
that Shani and I have meetings, so...
Your pleasure.
I'm going to take a pill.
Oh, and...
I'll have to miss my carb meal.
Are you serious?
-I don't want to eat
the unhealthy food
at the cafeteria,
so can you bring me something to eat?
Yes, I'll tell Mom.
She went to take a pill,
I'll tell her to make you
blanched chicken.
-Thanks, Dad.
And Shai,
thank you again.
I took the pills you brought me,
they're wonderful,
I slept like a baby.
Thank you.
There was a road accident,
they're tending to urgent cases
of course.
Don't worry, honey,
it'll be fine.
Okay?
-Thanks, Dad.
Waze says there's time,
I'll get to the meeting on time.
Is that all you care about?
-I'm kidding,
your arm will be fine.
Nothing bad will happen from now on.
Hello!
Maybe I was wrong.
What a sweet, pretty girl,
but she looks nothing like her dad,
maybe you should check with the neighbor.
Hey, clown guy.
That was a joke.
Friends, laughter is healthy.
-Yes.
What happened, sweetie?
She broke her arm.
Oh no.
But don't be sad,
when I was 8 days old
I had an operation
and I couldn't walk for 18 months.
Are you in your right mind?
Do you think I'd be doing this if I were?
Friends, I'm going to put on
such a funny show
that you'll pee in your pants for an hour.
An hour?
Mr. Clown, we appreciate
what you're doing
and we know it's important,
but we have to go.
Come back later,
her grandma will be here
and she loves pranks and jokes
and she wants to pee in her pants.
So how about a two hour show for her?
How's the headache, Riki?
It's gone,
but I feel so tired.
My head is so heavy.
Pinhas, I'm going to nap
until we get to the hospital.
Why are you tired?
You did nothing the whole day.
And it's taking a toll on me.
Listen, I saw this joke
on a clown website,
a new joke.
This woman takes her husband
to the hospital for a checkup.
After the checkup the doctor says:
"Ma'am, it's a matter of days,
he won't last the weekend."
So she says:
Riki, Riki...
It's taking a toll.
"I've waited till now,
what's another few days?"
I've waited till now,
what's another few days?
I'm going to see what's going on.
Why do some people like hospitals?
Why?
Because they can lie in bed all day.
Got it?
-Why are you encouraging him?
'Coz a show's on TV
that makes me wanna die.
Why?
-It's on "General Hospital".
What, no good?
-Hilarious.
Have you ever thought
of volunteering here?
No. I'd like to,
but I'm allergic to hokum.
Gotcha, bro.
Riki, why are you walking so slowly?
Just walk, Pinhas,
what do you want?
So I'm walking slowly.
Go tell them I'll be right there.
Are you feeling okay?
I'm fine.
You know what?
I'll go to Fanny,
I'll tell her I'm going to see
the little one first.
It's the big one.
Pinhas, what do you want from me?
Just go already.
I don't know
because I'm not a pilot.
Enough!
It's either me or him.
You, you. He's leaving and...
a new clown is here.
-Hey, Pinhas...
how are you?
-Here you are.
Hi.
-We're glad you're here.
You made it quickly.
-Good thing too,
we have to get to the meeting.
But wait,
first we have to see Fanny and the bag,
but don't worry,
we'll take care of her.
Where's Mom?
She was delayed in the corridor.
Did she bring me blanched chicken?
Is that all you can think about?
Seriously?
I think I saw her in the kitchen
pouring boiling water
on frozen chicken breasts.
Yummy!
Ataf, I'm at the entrance
to the surgical ward.
She's with me,
she fell asleep.
Can you replace me?
I have to go to the bathroom.
She's on wheels,
no need to pick her up.
Great. Thanks, bro.
Afwan, ma salama.
Hafif, my contractor,
was sure it's your mother,
he changed the name
of the project up north
and called it
Rikiryat Shmone.
Lucky she doesn't build burial caves,
Rikatacombs.
Adam, I suggest
you leave the jokes to your father.
And I think it was funny.
You see?
Stop it with the jokes,
the body's still warm.
Done.
This kid is a genius.
The Intelligence Corps should snatch you up.
But I want to be in a military band.
-Over my dead body.
Sshhh...
-Be quiet.
Here we are
with another fiasco,
familiar and old.
Meet this poor woman,
the old lady in the corridor.
What?! No way!
The nerve! I don't believe it.
It's enough to look
at this old lady's face
to grasp the incompetence...
You really don't look good, Riki.
Pinhas, how did you let this happen?
You know what the leading cause
of divorce is?
What? -Marriage.
Wow! You're funny, Pinhas.
Okay, I'm going to make
internal medicine laugh,
you already have a joker.
-Wait, I have another one.
This guy's getting married,
so his father says:
This is the happiest day in your life.
The son says:
But I'm getting married tomorrow.
So the father says: Hello...
You're a genius, Pinhas.
Mom?
Mom.
Mom.
Excuse me,
have you seen an older woman
with a bag that smelled
of blanched chicken?
-No.
But your shoe is untied.
Oh, thanks.
No, I haven't found her.
Oy.
No, this old lady
rolled down the stairs in a wheelchair.
No one watches these people,
it's awful.
Okay, I'm coming back.
Hello.
Yes, I found the old lady.
Should I take her to the OR?
Alright, bye.
Well?
-I didn't find her
and she's not answering her phone.
Maybe she went to the bathroom.
With the chicken?
-Could be.
Shani, do me a favor,
go see if the chicken...
if my mother's in the ladies' room.
Sure thing.
There's an odd smell.
No time,
I have a patient at 19:00.
Do you smell the chicken?
I was sure it's socks.
She's not in the bathroom.
I'm sure she went to Fanny and the bag.
No, I was in Fanny's room.
She wasn't there?
-No, just the bag.
Fanny said she wasn't there.
That's odd. -Very, very.
There goes the chicken
and I have to go.
"You have to go?"
I have a meeting too.
You can't leave me here without Mom.
Dad, was Mom feeling okay?
She had a headache
but she took a pill.
What pill?
-The one next to the bed.
Shai, those pills you brought me
from the States...
-Stop.
Did Mom take a blue pill?
-No.
Maybe.
I don't know.
She was tired. Shit!
Where did you say she is?
What's this? What happened?
What time is it?
Don't worry, I'll handle this.
Mom.
Mom.
Riki.
Mom.
Where is she?
I don't believe
I called off the meeting.
I don't believe
I called off the meeting.
Mom.
What do we do?
Stop. -What?
-Where'd you get that?
I took it from an old lady
that I took to the OR.
No.
-Oh no.
Hold on.
Your mom's in the OR.
-But the chicken...
Go already.
The health system may never heal.
As for the old lady in the corridor,
hospital management refused to cooperate.
We discovered that the lady
who was rushed to the OR
has vanished.
No way!
She did,
but Shai and Shani stopped them on time.
After examining all the facts
I realize that we messed up.
Big time, Dr...
Broch. -Baruch. Baruch.
I want to go over the agreement.
Dr. Baruch, this is irresponsible,
I hope you'll assume responsibility.
That's why we've decided
to make an exception
and agree to a fitting monetary compensation.
If I may,
I think we deserve more than fitting.
After the screwup,
the almost surgery
and someone ate my blanched chicken.
That was the country club,
they want to name
the locker room after you.
Okay, that's enough,
give me the phone.
Thank you.
Rachel, come here,
they're talking about Riki
on the news again.
What's with her?
Is she dead again?
I want to apologize
for the error in the item we aired
on the health system.
It seems the lady in the item didn't pass away,
she's alive and kicking,
she sent us this video.
I'm alive and very lucky
because my son stopped the surgeon on time,
the hospital admitted its blunder
and reached a settlement with me.
So she's alive.
And kicking.
Yes, Dr. Broch.
God darn.
-What did he say?
No compensation.
So no Bora Bora?
You can go to the salty Dead Sea.
I wanted Bora Bora.
I'll make you
your own Bora Bora at home.
Okay, where's the baba au rhum?
-I ate them all.
To be honest, it was shocking.
Yes, seeing your mom lying there,
so helpless.
No, seeing the anesthesiologist
chomping on my blanched chicken.
Then say that at the trial.
They'll hear you, pity you,
compensate you for the chicken,
enough to get us to Bora Bora.
Really? -Yes,
and I'll give them my opinion of you.
What opinion?
That you're psycho.
But cute.
-Yes, cute psycho.
What did my dad mean when he said
he'd make my mom her own Bora Bora?
I don't know.
Bora Bora, where are you?
Where's Bora Bora?
So who signed your cast?
The whole class.
Tomer the hottie too?
-Leave her alone.
What? I just asked.
Mom, it itches.
What's the problem? Scratch.
No... -Mom.
Sweetie, I heard you,
there's not much I can do.
I... ache for your itch.
Be grateful you weren't born in our days
when the cast was made of plaster.
-Right.
They'd splatter this plaster on
that was as heavy as lead
and it was so itchy
and hot and sweaty
and annoying that you wanted
to take a bite out of it.
Take a bite?
Now I know
how you got where you're got.
Where did I get?
-To a three digit weight, babe.
Mom, it's so itchy.
Want Dad to take a bite?
-No.
We'll be at Grandma's house soon,
we'll ask her for a knitting needle,
you'll shove it in,
that way you can scratch.
How do you know
my mom has a knitting needle?
It's a diaspora thing.
Where you come from,
everyone has knitting needles.
Like where you come from
everyone has skewers for kebob.
You got something there,
it's a diaspora thing.
But they make the kebobs
come out the best.
The knitting needles?
-The skewers. -Ah.
Sanctifies the Sabbath.
-Amen.
Leave some room,
I made baba au rhum.
Baba au rhum,
it's been centuries.
Oh, you'll love it.
It usually has tons of brandy and more.
More? -Whiskey, vodka,
tequila, whatever's in the house.
What a great Sabbath dinner,
so calm, no special events.
Don't open your mouth to the devil.
Why are you involving parents?
I'm kidding.
Mom, I love you.
Family, family,
I want to tell you all
that Mom and I are going on vacation.
The Dead Sea again?
No, this year we're treating ourselves
to Bora Bora.
Wow. -Bora Bora.
Some classy place.
-Totally.
I don't like double names,
they stress me out,
like Baden Baden
or Azam Azam,
it's scary,
it indicates lack of originality,
laziness.
I think it's great you're going
to a magical island
in the middle of life.
Don't we deserve a vacation?
You do, absolutely,
but for us to go anywhere
something special has to happen,
a deal and doll vacation,
last minute crap,
a plane with no pilot.
I'd like a glass of baba au rhum, Mom.
Yes, cheers.
Well, what's on the news?
-Disasters.
Anything specific?
-No.
Routine.
And not only on one channel.
Look, all the channels.
They're competing who can show the world
in the most horrific way.
Sali, you want them to report
only on what's good?
Yes, absolutely.
All the news on TV
is about accidents,
strikes, corruption. Look.
No news is good news.
Here we are
with another fiasco,
familiar and old.
See, a report on the fiascos in hospitals.
It's awful.
Meet this poor woman,
the old lady in the corridor.
Rachel, isn't that...
Who?
-The old lady in the corridor,
isn't that Riki?
Which Riki?
-Riki, Riki,
do you know many Rikis?
Riki Rosen. There.
No way,
that lady is much older
than Riki Rosen.
But...
she does look like her.
I'm telling you, it's Riki. Look.
In recent weeks 14 have been added.
Oh my God, Sali,
I think you're right,
it is her,
why does she look so sick?
No one even told us she's sick.
Those people never talk about anything.
Listen, call Shani now,
she must be there,
be subtle,
ask what's going on.
Hey, Mom, what's up?
Is everything alright?
Is everything alright by you?
Yes, everyone's here, we're fine.
And everyone's healthy?
Yes, Mom, everyone's fine,
we're in the midst of dinner
and everyone's looking at me
talking to you.
You're not watching TV by chance?
No. Why, Mom?
What happened?
I don't know,
there's an item
on the fiascos in hospitals
and the reporter is standing
in the corridor like Snow White
and suddenly we see Riki behind her,
she's the old lady in the corridor.
What? Riki Riki?
-What is it?
My mom says she saw an item
on TV that you were in.
An item on me?
-What?
Why an item on me?
That's ridiculous.
Riki, my mom just saw it,
there's an item on TV about hospitals
and they saw you in the corridor.
What's Riki got to do with it?
I don't know, I guess they said...
that you're...
the old lady in the corridor.
What do you think you're doing?
Insulting me and offending me?
Me?
-Shani, let's calm down.
But what did I do?
Did I do the item?
I'm just the messenger...
Wait, Rachel,
they say the lady died later on.
They just said it.
Oh my God, Sali,
Riki Rosen died?
-Who died?
God forbid...
Mom, do you have something to tell me?
Look,
she died on the operating table.
Shani,
tell Pinhas and Shai
from me and Dad
we send our condolences.
She's not dead, Mom,
she's right here.
I'll talk to you later, bye.
Let's turn on the TV and see.
Sali, Shani says she's not dead.
But it was on the news.
She's dead.
She's alive. She's here,
it must be someone
who looks like her...
Calm Mom down.
Turn on the TV already!
Hold on. Here.
No, this one.
-Let me,
I'll do it...
What channel?
No.
Here.
That's the main reason for the death.
And the weather this weekend...
What?
We can't see it.
-It's over.
I'll ask my genius idiot son
to find it online,
he always looks for videos that I...
Never mind, he knows.
Raz.
Riki, were you on a TV show this week?
What do you think?
Were you in a hospital this week?
Sure, but not on TV.
Mom, I got a text
that Grandma is dead.
Grandma's alive.
Take a good look at me,
am I dead?
Don't take your nerves out
on my broken child.
Can someone explain
what happened at the hospital?
The kid broke her arm
on the school field trip.
Here's our child.
-Here she is.
What happened?
-You're finally here,
I have to charge you
for babysitting by the hour.
We're very sorry.
-Don't let her get to you.
Couldn't you make more of an effort?
You could be nicer too.
Oh yeah?
I've been stuck here
for two hours with your daughter.
Forgive me, I'm sorry,
it's just... the lines here
bring the worst out in everyone.
I have to...
-It's fine.
Watch out for the clown.
-Alright.
What?
She's right,
the lines at the ERs
are one long nightmare.
You only get attention if you're dead.
It hurts.
-Oh, sweetie.
Who needs these field trips?
They always end in the hospital
with a broken arm or leg.
Will you cut the hysterics?
She'll get a cast
and we'll go home.
Everything's so simple with you.
-Yes.
Not with you,
it's always complicated.
Why did it take you so long to get here?
Traffic.
As soon as I got the call
I dropped everything and left.
So did I,
in the middle of a meeting
and I have to go back,
I have an important meeting later.
Wait, babe, so do I,
I hope we get this nightmare
over with fast.
I'm a nightmare? -No...
-Not you,
of course not.
-You and your nonsense.
Where does it hurt?
-Here.
So what do we do know,
do we have a number?
We're in line for the orthopedist,
there's no numbers,
we'll get called over the PA system.
That's an eight hour wait at least.
But I have an important meeting.
-So do I.
What do we do?
-What do we do?
What's that?
Are you watching porno?
No, it's "Game of Thrones".
-Are you sure?
I wanted to see what everyone's
talking about for six years.
Fine, I'll go back to "Arte".
Arte farte.
Have you seen my headache pills?
Where did you put them?
If I knew,
would I ask you?
I can give you my pills.
Oh, the pills that Shai brought me
from overseas are wonderful.
I need two pills.
-Two?
One for now and one for the headache
Fanny will give me later.
Fanny? When?
Did you forget we're going
to see her in the hospital today?
She's having her procedure.
Today they replace her bag?
-Yes, did you forget?
Honestly, I wish I had.
Can't I get out of this unfunny visit?
Don't do this again.
Where are the pills?
On the nightstand by the bed,
on my side.
Who's that?
-Hello?
Hello, Shai, how are you?
Not too hot. We need some help.
Sure.
What happened?
-What happened to him?
Relax, Riki,
nothing happened to him.
What happened to you?
-Dad, we're at the hospital.
At the hospital?
-Oh no,
put him on speaker.
Calm down both of you.
The kid broke her arm
on a field trip,
we're at the hospital
waiting for an orthopedist.
But Shani and I have to get back
to meetings at work.
We have to.
-We have to.
Can you come here
and replace us?
If it's not too difficult.
Lucky for you
we're on our way to the hospital,
Mom can visit Fanny
and I'll be with the little one.
It's the big one.
-What a stroke of luck,
we'll be there soon.
Thanks, Mom,
it just so happens
that Shani and I have meetings, so...
Your pleasure.
I'm going to take a pill.
Oh, and...
I'll have to miss my carb meal.
Are you serious?
-I don't want to eat
the unhealthy food
at the cafeteria,
so can you bring me something to eat?
Yes, I'll tell Mom.
She went to take a pill,
I'll tell her to make you
blanched chicken.
-Thanks, Dad.
And Shai,
thank you again.
I took the pills you brought me,
they're wonderful,
I slept like a baby.
Thank you.
There was a road accident,
they're tending to urgent cases
of course.
Don't worry, honey,
it'll be fine.
Okay?
-Thanks, Dad.
Waze says there's time,
I'll get to the meeting on time.
Is that all you care about?
-I'm kidding,
your arm will be fine.
Nothing bad will happen from now on.
Hello!
Maybe I was wrong.
What a sweet, pretty girl,
but she looks nothing like her dad,
maybe you should check with the neighbor.
Hey, clown guy.
That was a joke.
Friends, laughter is healthy.
-Yes.
What happened, sweetie?
She broke her arm.
Oh no.
But don't be sad,
when I was 8 days old
I had an operation
and I couldn't walk for 18 months.
Are you in your right mind?
Do you think I'd be doing this if I were?
Friends, I'm going to put on
such a funny show
that you'll pee in your pants for an hour.
An hour?
Mr. Clown, we appreciate
what you're doing
and we know it's important,
but we have to go.
Come back later,
her grandma will be here
and she loves pranks and jokes
and she wants to pee in her pants.
So how about a two hour show for her?
How's the headache, Riki?
It's gone,
but I feel so tired.
My head is so heavy.
Pinhas, I'm going to nap
until we get to the hospital.
Why are you tired?
You did nothing the whole day.
And it's taking a toll on me.
Listen, I saw this joke
on a clown website,
a new joke.
This woman takes her husband
to the hospital for a checkup.
After the checkup the doctor says:
"Ma'am, it's a matter of days,
he won't last the weekend."
So she says:
Riki, Riki...
It's taking a toll.
"I've waited till now,
what's another few days?"
I've waited till now,
what's another few days?
I'm going to see what's going on.
Why do some people like hospitals?
Why?
Because they can lie in bed all day.
Got it?
-Why are you encouraging him?
'Coz a show's on TV
that makes me wanna die.
Why?
-It's on "General Hospital".
What, no good?
-Hilarious.
Have you ever thought
of volunteering here?
No. I'd like to,
but I'm allergic to hokum.
Gotcha, bro.
Riki, why are you walking so slowly?
Just walk, Pinhas,
what do you want?
So I'm walking slowly.
Go tell them I'll be right there.
Are you feeling okay?
I'm fine.
You know what?
I'll go to Fanny,
I'll tell her I'm going to see
the little one first.
It's the big one.
Pinhas, what do you want from me?
Just go already.
I don't know
because I'm not a pilot.
Enough!
It's either me or him.
You, you. He's leaving and...
a new clown is here.
-Hey, Pinhas...
how are you?
-Here you are.
Hi.
-We're glad you're here.
You made it quickly.
-Good thing too,
we have to get to the meeting.
But wait,
first we have to see Fanny and the bag,
but don't worry,
we'll take care of her.
Where's Mom?
She was delayed in the corridor.
Did she bring me blanched chicken?
Is that all you can think about?
Seriously?
I think I saw her in the kitchen
pouring boiling water
on frozen chicken breasts.
Yummy!
Ataf, I'm at the entrance
to the surgical ward.
She's with me,
she fell asleep.
Can you replace me?
I have to go to the bathroom.
She's on wheels,
no need to pick her up.
Great. Thanks, bro.
Afwan, ma salama.
Hafif, my contractor,
was sure it's your mother,
he changed the name
of the project up north
and called it
Rikiryat Shmone.
Lucky she doesn't build burial caves,
Rikatacombs.
Adam, I suggest
you leave the jokes to your father.
And I think it was funny.
You see?
Stop it with the jokes,
the body's still warm.
Done.
This kid is a genius.
The Intelligence Corps should snatch you up.
But I want to be in a military band.
-Over my dead body.
Sshhh...
-Be quiet.
Here we are
with another fiasco,
familiar and old.
Meet this poor woman,
the old lady in the corridor.
What?! No way!
The nerve! I don't believe it.
It's enough to look
at this old lady's face
to grasp the incompetence...
You really don't look good, Riki.
Pinhas, how did you let this happen?
You know what the leading cause
of divorce is?
What? -Marriage.
Wow! You're funny, Pinhas.
Okay, I'm going to make
internal medicine laugh,
you already have a joker.
-Wait, I have another one.
This guy's getting married,
so his father says:
This is the happiest day in your life.
The son says:
But I'm getting married tomorrow.
So the father says: Hello...
You're a genius, Pinhas.
Mom?
Mom.
Mom.
Excuse me,
have you seen an older woman
with a bag that smelled
of blanched chicken?
-No.
But your shoe is untied.
Oh, thanks.
No, I haven't found her.
Oy.
No, this old lady
rolled down the stairs in a wheelchair.
No one watches these people,
it's awful.
Okay, I'm coming back.
Hello.
Yes, I found the old lady.
Should I take her to the OR?
Alright, bye.
Well?
-I didn't find her
and she's not answering her phone.
Maybe she went to the bathroom.
With the chicken?
-Could be.
Shani, do me a favor,
go see if the chicken...
if my mother's in the ladies' room.
Sure thing.
There's an odd smell.
No time,
I have a patient at 19:00.
Do you smell the chicken?
I was sure it's socks.
She's not in the bathroom.
I'm sure she went to Fanny and the bag.
No, I was in Fanny's room.
She wasn't there?
-No, just the bag.
Fanny said she wasn't there.
That's odd. -Very, very.
There goes the chicken
and I have to go.
"You have to go?"
I have a meeting too.
You can't leave me here without Mom.
Dad, was Mom feeling okay?
She had a headache
but she took a pill.
What pill?
-The one next to the bed.
Shai, those pills you brought me
from the States...
-Stop.
Did Mom take a blue pill?
-No.
Maybe.
I don't know.
She was tired. Shit!
Where did you say she is?
What's this? What happened?
What time is it?
Don't worry, I'll handle this.
Mom.
Mom.
Riki.
Mom.
Where is she?
I don't believe
I called off the meeting.
I don't believe
I called off the meeting.
Mom.
What do we do?
Stop. -What?
-Where'd you get that?
I took it from an old lady
that I took to the OR.
No.
-Oh no.
Hold on.
Your mom's in the OR.
-But the chicken...
Go already.
The health system may never heal.
As for the old lady in the corridor,
hospital management refused to cooperate.
We discovered that the lady
who was rushed to the OR
has vanished.
No way!
She did,
but Shai and Shani stopped them on time.
After examining all the facts
I realize that we messed up.
Big time, Dr...
Broch. -Baruch. Baruch.
I want to go over the agreement.
Dr. Baruch, this is irresponsible,
I hope you'll assume responsibility.
That's why we've decided
to make an exception
and agree to a fitting monetary compensation.
If I may,
I think we deserve more than fitting.
After the screwup,
the almost surgery
and someone ate my blanched chicken.
That was the country club,
they want to name
the locker room after you.
Okay, that's enough,
give me the phone.
Thank you.
Rachel, come here,
they're talking about Riki
on the news again.
What's with her?
Is she dead again?
I want to apologize
for the error in the item we aired
on the health system.
It seems the lady in the item didn't pass away,
she's alive and kicking,
she sent us this video.
I'm alive and very lucky
because my son stopped the surgeon on time,
the hospital admitted its blunder
and reached a settlement with me.
So she's alive.
And kicking.
Yes, Dr. Broch.
God darn.
-What did he say?
No compensation.
So no Bora Bora?
You can go to the salty Dead Sea.
I wanted Bora Bora.
I'll make you
your own Bora Bora at home.
Okay, where's the baba au rhum?
-I ate them all.
To be honest, it was shocking.
Yes, seeing your mom lying there,
so helpless.
No, seeing the anesthesiologist
chomping on my blanched chicken.
Then say that at the trial.
They'll hear you, pity you,
compensate you for the chicken,
enough to get us to Bora Bora.
Really? -Yes,
and I'll give them my opinion of you.
What opinion?
That you're psycho.
But cute.
-Yes, cute psycho.
What did my dad mean when he said
he'd make my mom her own Bora Bora?
I don't know.
Bora Bora, where are you?
Where's Bora Bora?