Sabri Maranan (2011–…): Season 4, Episode 10 - The investor - full transcript

The Investor

I hate it
when you don't change clothes after school.

I didn't have time.
-You didn't have time?

Instead of going with your friends
after girl scouts

you should've come home,
showered and changed,

it's Friday.

Your grandmother will kill me.

Nah, since we came back
all she cares about

is that we're back.
-Fine.

I voiced my opinion.

Why are you fiddling with the phone?



I found an app

where you can check if you have
forgotten money in a savings account

or an old insurance policy.
-We don't.

We don't?
-No way.

I know where every shekel is.
-I know you know,

but maybe between the cushions
of the couch,

behind the fridge,
in the underwear drawer.

There must be something we forgot.
-I looked,

believe me, there isn't.
-Alright, fine.

What harm will it do
to enter my details

so it will look?
-Does it cost money?

No.

If the app finds anything,
does it take a percentage?

No, penny pincher.
-Then let it look.



But no expectations.
-I'm married with three kids,

I have no expectations.

For my peace of mind.

See what you did?

I told you not to say
"peace of mind" out loud.

Fine.

Hi, Mom, what's up?

Are you on your way?
-Yes.

Then turn around and go home.

What? -Yes!

Hi, Shani, love you too.

I'm kidding, Riki,
what's going on?

Go home and change clothes,

Itamar and Liora
are bringing a VIG.

A VIG?

A V-I-G.

A very important guest.

You mean, VIP, Riki,
very important person.

I say potato,
you say tomato.

Who's the potato?

A businessman from China.
-Why?

He wants to experience
a Sabbath dinner in a typical Israeli home.

And you were chosen?

Indeed.

You're a typical Israeli home, Riki?

I was surprised too.
I tried to tell them

that my home is more European

but Liri said it doesn't matter,
he won't notice

and that we not embarrass them.

Riki, we're dressed
very nicely today.

Good, it's important

to Itamar

that he get that promotion.

He works for Liri, Mom,
what promotion?

Never mind that, it's important.

Shani, if you say you're dressed nicely,

I trust you.

I have to go to the kitchen. Bye.

Turn around.
-But...

Turn around,
the school uniforms.

Are you sure?
-Yes.

About what?
-Not looking the Chinese in the eye.

Sure, it's like looking
at a handicapped person.

Who said?
-It's a known fact.

Known to whom?
-To everyone.

You don't want them to feel
that they're unusual

so you don't look.

What if I'm talking to him?
-To the disabled person or the Chinese man?

Both.

I'd rather you not talk with either.

Riki...
-Hi, Adam.

How are you?

Listen, don't ask questions,

you have to turn around
and change clothes.

You not so much, Sapir.

Why? -Oy.

You startled me.

Good Sabbath.

Good Sabbath.
-I'll ask again, why?

Do you really have to ask?

If the dress were any smaller
it would have to be in the NICU.

Adam.

Now you know

why you have to change
before Grandma Riki?

Because it's Friday.
-Right.

And...? -So she won't say
that you're neglecting us.

Exactly.

But I hate black.
-It doesn't matter,

Grandma Riki likes black.

Don't you get
that this isn't about you, sweetie?

It's between Mom and Grandma.

Babe.
-Am I wrong?

No, listen to this,

the app found money for me.

Where?
-The app I told you about.

Where from?
-In some saving plan

from when I worked at a summer camp
before the army.

You worked at a summer camp?
-Yes.

I mean, not exactly,
I was in charge of the chocolate milk

and the...

this job for summer vacation.

With the money I made
I bought the boots

that Merav ruined in Crete... whatever,

the money has been accumulating since then.

And by law they were committed
to open a savings plan,

city hall is a stickler for laws.
-Yes.

So how much is it now, 70 shekels?

6,000.

6,000 shekels? -6,000.

We have 6,000 shekels?

I have 6,000 shekels.

What, is this...

is this too short, Pinhas?

From the top or the bottom?

But I bought it today,

isn't it nice?
-It's very nice, babe. -Thanks.

And if you're not cold,
then I'm hot. -Nice.

I'll say that to Riki in the kitchen.

Yeah? Okay, babe...

Good luck.
-Thank you.

You know, she's very...

tall?

Yes, Dad, I know.

What's all the fuss about?

Why bring a Chinese man here?

He's an investor
or something like that.

How are we supposed to interact with him?

Mom prefers we not interact at all.

You, a strong, independent woman,

I'd expect you to understand
that women can wear whatever they want.

Sapir, it's not about
women's rights or feminism,

it's about taste and style.

Either you have it or you don't.

And I don't have it?

Good Sabbath.
-Where have you been? I was worried.

I think Shani's calling you.
-What? Okay.

Riki, this conversation isn't over.

Hey, Sapir.

Hi, Mom.

She's dressed lighter than usual.

On a day we have guests
she decided to be half naked.

Are you hungry? -Very.

That's a problem.
-Why, what did you make for me?

With all the chaos with the Chinese
I didn't steam your chicken.

Shoot. And veggies?
-No.

How about having some schnitzel?

No, they're fried and coated.

I can remove the coating
or there's shleikelach,

you like shleikelach.
-Mom, it's carbs,

I don't eat carbs after 5 p.m.,
only protein,

I told you that.

You're worse than a baby.

How about a hard boiled egg?

Alright, but don't fry it.
-I'll try not to.

So why the long face?

It's like this since the operation.

I know you
from before you were so skinny.

Shani found money.
-Whose? -Ours.

How much?

Let's say I have 6,000 shekels.

Where? On you?

Wait, if it's one of those questions

about two trains leaving a station,

then I already did
my final math exam, Missie.

It's not. -Okay,

then I didn't do my final math exam,

but I will,
I didn't get around to it.

I will, you'll see.

Could you shut up already?

I'm just saying
it doesn't make me any less.

Less what?

I don't know, less three?

Three?
-I don't know,

I told you
I didn't do my final math exam,

stop pressuring me!

Just stop, be quiet!

Let's say I have 6,000 shekels,

I found them.
-Where?

On an app that...
No, you're impossible.

Sit down!

It's not easy being thin.

No? -What happened?

Mom didn't make any steamed food for me

so I have nothing to eat, I'm starving.

Now you know
what it was like for me

with two older brothers, behemoths,

who finished all the food
and left me hungry.

Boo hoo, let me get out

the violins.

Good Sabbath.

Good Sabbath.

Please.
-Good Sabbath.

Tell him that we say
"Good Sabbath" on Friday night.

Good Sabbath.

Good Sabbath.

This is Itamar's father.

Pinhas Rosen.

This is Ching Chi, he's Chinese.

Ni hao.

I saw it on the Kid's Channel,

the one who's like Dora,
only she teaches Chinese.

These are my brothers.
Shai, Adam,

this is Rami, his interpreter.

It's money I made before the army,
so it's obviously mine. -Sure.

And Shai says, we're married,
it's not yours, it's ours.

Of course.

So who decides
what we do with the money,

me or us?

Of course.

I'll take Ching to the bathroom

so he can wash up.

Please with me.

On his own, Liri,
he can wash up on his own.

You're not his geisha.

She's constantly feeding him,
catering to him,

let the man breathe, Liri.

Are you fighting in here?

No, we're talking.

How's it going, Liri?
-Is this the Chinese man?

Yes, Ching Chi,

Sapir, Shanit.

Shani.

Ah. -Shani.
-I thought it's a nickname.

Anyway, this is the shower,

this is cold - right,
left - hot,

and here... towels.

Does Ching speak English?
-Not a word.

I even think
that Ching is his last name

and Chi is his first name.

Chi Ching?

Hi.

Insane, huh?

Kinda creepy, no?
-Totally.

Let's leave him, he'll manage,

I mean,

a billion Chinese people can't be wrong.

What a day, don't ask.
-We're not.

Crazy Liri woke me up at 5 a.m.

and no coffee, no nothing,
we went to the airport to pick the guy up.

From there, we got in a van,
we started up north,

the Sea of Galilee,
where Jesus walked on the water,

then Jerusalem
and the Wailing Wall,

that's a must.

Yad Vashem, 'coz you know,
shit happened,

then south to Ein Gedi,
the Dead Sea, Masada,

the flour caves
where we got covered in white powder

and the powder isn't flour,

it's the erosion of the rock...

what did you say it's called?
-The erosion of the marlstone.

Marlstone, exactly.

What's marlstone?
-I don't know,

but it's a cool word, marlstone.

It's a rock formed in the sea
millions of years ago.

An old rock.

Anyways, not flour.

And when there's no flour
there's no...

coating for schnitzel.

Which brings me to the final leg
of the tour, the kitchen.

So if Liri asks you,
you don't know where I am.

I'm coming with,
I need something to nosh.

Sit, Rami, sit.
-Why are you standing?

Maybe I'll check if the lady
is managing with Chi Ching?

No, he's absolutely fine.

Rami, how is it your Hebrew is so good?

Are you Jewish?
-No, I wish,

it's well known
that Jews are smart

and excel at everything they do.

And we have the most beautiful women.

And a gorgeous country,

so many investment opportunities.

I thought he wants to invest
in Liri's company.

Not only.

Funny you want to profit, Chi Ching.

Adam, sshhh...

One thing is odd.
-What?

How do you manage
when you all look alike?

Why do you look so sloppy?

You wouldn't believe the day I had.

Liri woke me at 3 a.m.
to go pick up the Chinese guy.

Not that story again
about traveling the country in a van.

A van? With your nausea?
-Yes.

Where did you go?

You name it.
-You name it.

Shai, let the kid talk.

First the Sea of Galilee, where Jesus
performed the miracle with the eggs and oil.

The fish and the wine.

Like I give a hoot.

From there all the tourism sites
you can imagine.

This is the Kinneret. (Sea of Galilee)

Look, Hatzor Ha'Glilit.

This is the Kotel. (Wailing Wall)

Look, David Tower.

And that is the Knesset.

I think I saw Hanan Ashrawi.
(former Palestinian minister)

Look, a hand and a name.

Horrible, horrible,
six million people.

I know for you Chinese it's peanuts

but for us it's a lot.

Horrible, horrible.

You went to Yad Vashem?
Bravo.

Of course,
it's beautiful there.

From there to Ein Gedi, the Dead Sea,
Masada and the Flour Caves.

Didn't you get nauseous
from all the traveling?

Of course, I almost threw up
at every site. -Cool.

What's up?
-Itamar threw up at Yad Vashem.

Oh no, did anyone get it on video?

I don't think so,
Yad Vashem, it's undignified.

Okay, babe, come with me...

Shani, this will surprise you,
but I'm on your side in this case.

But when you're on the balcony,

remember we have guests,
don't embarrass me.

Embarrass you?

You know you have hot blood.
-What?

Hot blood?

I'm not saying
you do it on purpose,

sometimes you lash out uncontrollably

and it's very unpleasant.

Mom.
-Tell me...

do you get that you're nuts?

I really want to know,

you're nuts,
you know that, right?

Shani.
-What?

Please, no involuntary shouting
"cut it out!"

Oh, you don't like
when I shout "cut it out!"

huh?

Then I won't shout "cut it out!"

Here we go.

No problem, Riki,
no more "cut it out!"

Why is she shouting?
-What's going on?

She means Shani.
-Shani's shouting "cut it out!"

It's routine.

Doesn't she know we have guests?

It's alright,

it gives a homey feeling.

Yes, you're right.

Rami, do me a favor,

go see that Ching
didn't drown in the bathtub.

Sure.
-That's all I need.

I don't think the Chinese can swim.

I think they can.

So maybe it's the Ethiopians?

The Arabs?

I know there's a minority
that can't swim.

Oh, here he is.

Please come here,
you're looking very nice.

Please, sit, sit.

Hi. -Ni hao.

What's up with him?

He's got money, play along.

Shai, you know I hate

arguing with you over money.

We're not arguing.
-Okay, great.

Great.

Because no way my money
will go in the bank

and get swallowed up by our overdraft.
-Shani.

I won't have the bank taking the money.

I get what you're saying.
-Good.

But you're being ridiculous.

A, we're married, yes?

We have one joint bank account.

B, that account has a huge hole

that both of us dug

and to which we deposit the money
that we get, okay?

And C...

There's... -Yes, C.

If we decide
that we're not giving the money to the bank,

we won't give it.

I get what you're saying.
-Good.

But you're being ridiculous.

Until when are you babysitting the Chinese man?

We're taking him to the airport tonight.

That's why it was such a crazy day.
He wanted to see Israel in one go.

I can't wait for him
to sign the contract and return to China.

Were you in Eilat too?

Sshhh... Eilat?! No!

That's all I need,
to take him all the way to Eilat.

He didn't ask, I didn't offer.

Dude, what's up with the Chinese guy?

What?
-He honed in on Sapir,

he won't take his eyes off.
I'll whop him.

You think he knows karate?

Of course he knows karate.

He's Chinese,
they're born that way.

What? -"What?"

It's a well known fact.

Nature compensates them
for their small eyes

with fighting capabilities.

That's so ridiculous.

It's a well known fact!

It is? -Of course!

Why is it that with you brothers

the other person
is always ridiculous?

I'm being ridiculous?
-Yes, you are.

There's no mine, yours,
no us, shmuss,

it's a prize that I got, that's all.

A prize for what?
-For what?

For good behavior,
for being good citizens,

for being in the army,
for working our asses off,

for paying taxes.

Someone said, here, knock yourself out.

I see. -Good.

But you're being ridiculous.

Again with the "ridiculous?"

Are you dense?

Shai, seriously,

if it was a million or 100,000

I'd cover the overdraft,

but it's only 6,000.

It says "treat yourself" on it,

have a blast.
-I see. -Thank you.

But you're being ridiculous.

Cut it out!

Can't you play along?

Itamar, I'll kill you.

Be nice to the tourist.

Say it again

and you'll have to explain
what's left of your face.

Fine.

I love you.

I love him. -Yeah.

What's with the shouting?

It's nothing, Pinhas, we're talking.

She's being ridiculous. -Shai.

You can be ridiculous after,
it's time for the blessing.

Ridiculous.
-Don't talk to me.

"The sixth day

"and the heaven and the earth were finished

"and all the host of them."

You can explain him
about the prayer.

How God is huge and great, etc...

All say...

And...?
-Excuse me.

Oh, this is very Israeli,

every Sabbath supper somebody's fighting,

tradition.

Don't. -Babe.

Babe.

Any babe home?

It's my money.

I hated that camp,

I hated when the kids smeared me
with chocolate milk

and this is my compensation.

Forgive me for interfering,
but I think it's her money.

I know,
that's all I'm trying to say,

I know it's hers

but I'd like us to spend it together.

That's it? -Yes.

Did you think otherwise?

Tasty, right?

It's my shleikelach.

What's it called?
-Shleikelach.

With an A.

What's going on?

Adam shoved shleikelach
into the Chinese guy's mouth

and they're all excited.

I think it's great,

we'll sell billions.

Babe, I know we said
we'd paint the town red,

but the way things look now,

maybe we should invest the 6,000

in the Chinese guy's shares.

Riki, they love your shleikelach.

I'm glad someone appreciates
all my hard work

and being on my feet all day.

These Chinese are so powerful.

Riki, we're talking millions.

You know how many Chinese people there are?

If only one percent... not one,

if one thousandth eat my mom's shleikelach,

you know how much money that is?

You know you're off your rocker, right?

So Mrs. Rosen will sell 45% of the product

to Mr. Chi Ching.

Wait, what am I selling him?
-Your shleikelach,

the recipe and how you make it.

I thaw and toss in boiling water.
-No seasoning or anything?

Baking soda for Pinhas' gas.

But the dough and filling.

There are gizzards inside.

Really? I didn't know...

how you make them.

I thaw and toss in boiling water.

But is there any process before that?

Before you thaw?

I buy them frozen
at "Little Swidnica".

Can you not translate that?

No.

I want to tell you something.

I'm not an interpreter,

I'm Mr. Chi Ching

and I think I want to say
good Sabbath.

I'm so glad we spent the money
on something fun

and ended on a great note.

Hup, hup, hup, hup

Hup, she's going to Greece

Happy, excited, hup, hup

She's wearing skinny jeans, white heels

Look how she walks

Look how she attracts

How she burns cash

Goes to Zara

Where do you live?

Take me with you faraway

You're the king!

Look how she walks

Look how she attracts

How she burns cash

Goes to Zara

Where do you live?

Take me with you faraway

Awesome.
-You rock, Saranga. -Amazing.

I have to go

but I enjoyed this performance so much.

That's great to hear.
-Thank you.

Give him the money.
-Thank you.

Thank you.

Have a great night.
-Thank you.

Man, he's the best.

Good night, boo.

Number one.

Can you turn on the radio?

After Tnuva, the Dead Sea,
the insurance and Hapoel Tel Aviv,

the Chinese buy an Israeli factory.

Chinese millionaire Ching Chi
purchased "Little Swidnica" deli.

Oh, poor Liri.

Well, we blew a lot of money in one night.

5,600 shekels.

I saw boots I want to buy
with the 400 I have left.

That you have left?
-Cut it out!