QI (2003–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - Beavers - full transcript

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[Events]
Format: Marked, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:24.38,0:00:25.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:33.30,0:00:36.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yo ho, Great Britain! How're\Nyou doing? Good to be back. Whoo!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:36.46,0:00:37.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me introduce the band!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:37.98,0:00:39.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,On lead guitar, Anneka Rice!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:39.70,0:00:41.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,BASS GUITAR
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:43.22,0:00:45.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And on sax, Bill Bailey!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:45.34,0:00:47.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:48.46,0:00:50.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And Sean Lock on drums!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:51.06,0:00:52.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DRUM SEQUENCE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:54.82,0:00:57.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And Alan Davies on the buses!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:57.50,0:00:58.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DING! DING!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:00:59.18,0:01:00.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:00.62,0:01:02.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:02.62,0:01:05.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Alan is the conductor, of course.\NSOME LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:05.26,0:01:06.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, there are only two rules.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:06.82,0:01:10.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I give points for attitude\Nand I take points away for platitude.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:10.30,0:01:11.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So, let's get\Nstraight down to business.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:11.82,0:01:16.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Question one -\Ndoes the Pope eat beaver?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:16.90,0:01:19.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER, DRUM SEQUENCE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:19.30,0:01:20.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Sean Lock.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:20.82,0:01:22.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I would say yes.\NYou... The Pope does eat beaver.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:23.26,0:01:25.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, because he's the Pope.\NHe can have whatever he wants.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:25.54,0:01:27.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,He CAN have whatever he wants\Nbut can he, as a good Catholic,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:28.18,0:01:30.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,have whatever he wants,\Nfor example, on a Friday in Lent?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:30.34,0:01:31.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE\NYes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:32.14,0:01:33.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:36.34,0:01:38.66,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,ALAN: I like that. That's good.\NMm?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:38.94,0:01:40.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, if you want to do it again,\Ndo it again.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:41.06,0:01:42.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:42.82,0:01:44.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DRUM SEQUENCE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:44.62,0:01:46.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,BASS GUITAR
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:47.62,0:01:49.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DING! DING!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:49.42,0:01:51.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE\NThank you.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:51.46,0:01:52.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh...\NThis is like...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:54.66,0:01:56.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,This is like\Nthe Early Learning Centre.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:58.30,0:01:59.70,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,But wasn't there a plan...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:01:59.98,0:02:02.66,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Wasn't there a plan a few years ago\Nto reintroduce beaver into Scotland?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:02.86,0:02:04.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:04.98,0:02:06.26,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,No, that was...\NI didn't hear about that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:06.54,0:02:07.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, but the Pope ate it.\NAh.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:08.02,0:02:10.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's said to taste rather like beef,\Nactually. Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:11.14,0:02:13.38,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They really are\Nlike little people's arms.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:13.70,0:02:15.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER\NThey are.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:15.94,0:02:17.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that is a person.\NThat's the Pope, there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:17.90,0:02:19.46,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,His hand...\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:19.74,0:02:21.70,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I see, the one on the right!\NOh, you mean those...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:21.94,0:02:23.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You're right, his front paws.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:23.46,0:02:24.74,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Look at his...\NThey are like little hands.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:24.94,0:02:26.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They are, yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:26.50,0:02:27.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what the Pope's thinking.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:28.14,0:02:30.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,He's actually looking and going,\N"Yes, he's got little hands..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:30.70,0:02:31.98,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They've asked him...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:32.22,0:02:33.42,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They said, "Are you ready to order?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:33.70,0:02:35.66,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and he's going,\N"Shall I have beaver...?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:35.90,0:02:37.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:37.78,0:02:39.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Here we are,\NI mentioned Friday in Lent.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:39.46,0:02:41.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What do Catholics not eat\Non Fridays in Lent?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:42.14,0:02:43.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, meat.\NMeat.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:43.66,0:02:46.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Meat. Flesh, as in,\Nanimal flesh that isn't fish.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:47.02,0:02:48.18,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They eat fish.\NThey eat fish, yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:48.50,0:02:52.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And the Roman Catholic Church\Nhas designated beaver as a fish
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:52.42,0:02:54.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,because it is scaly\Nand lives in water.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:54.30,0:02:58.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, at all these little schools,\Nprimary schools all over Italy,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:02:58.74,0:03:01.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,they have beaver and chips\Nand peas on a Friday?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:01.42,0:03:04.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Probably more likely\Nin American Catholic countries.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:04.94,0:03:07.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The capybara, which is\Nthe largest rodent on Earth,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:07.30,0:03:09.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,which is a South American rodent -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:09.26,0:03:11.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,400 tonnes of it are eaten\Nduring Lent in Venezuela alone.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:12.22,0:03:15.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Capybaras are likewise\Ndesignated to be a fish.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:15.42,0:03:17.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The Pope would, if he were to eat,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:17.46,0:03:19.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,he would probably eat them\Non a Friday in Lent,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:19.86,0:03:21.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,as he might a capybara.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:21.46,0:03:25.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,How would you suppose you might tell\Nthe sex of one beaver from another?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:25.46,0:03:27.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They're only male.\NThe male would have a penis.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:27.22,0:03:28.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, you have males and females.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:28.78,0:03:30.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, yes,\Nbut it's quite hard to spot.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:30.34,0:03:31.74,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,And a female would have a beaver!\NYes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:31.98,0:03:33.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:36.46,0:03:37.94,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,A tiny little beaver's beaver.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:38.14,0:03:39.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:40.02,0:03:41.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I want to talk about\Nanal excretions.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:41.74,0:03:43.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I was just about to...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:43.66,0:03:45.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I was about to bring that point up
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:45.46,0:03:47.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,because in the,\Nthe anal scent glands
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:48.18,0:03:49.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,of the beaver...\NYes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:50.02,0:03:51.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..has secreted a...\NOh, please.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:52.02,0:03:54.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..a substance which is\Nactually found in aspirin.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:55.06,0:03:57.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You're absolutely right. I'm going\Nto give you five points for that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:57.46,0:03:58.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's correct.\NThank you very much.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:03:58.98,0:04:00.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called castoreum.\NAPPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:02.86,0:04:05.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's been used as a medicine\Nfor hundreds of years. Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:06.18,0:04:07.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called castoreum.\NCastoreum.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:07.62,0:04:09.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,As in castor, the beaver,\Nand it contains salicylic acid,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:10.18,0:04:11.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,as you rightly said.\NIf you've got a headache...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:11.98,0:04:13.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.\NRimming a beaver.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:13.54,0:04:14.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Lick out a beaver!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:15.06,0:04:16.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's quite right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:16.66,0:04:18.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But so often, unfortunately,\Nthe beaver's got a headache anyway
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:18.82,0:04:20.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and won't let you do it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:20.50,0:04:22.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So they have to do it for themselves\Nfirst.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:22.90,0:04:25.14,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,There's gotta be a plus side\Nto rimming a beaver, hasn't there?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:25.42,0:04:26.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:26.90,0:04:28.22,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"Not tonight, darling.\NI've got a headache."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:28.50,0:04:29.66,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"Don't worry about that!"\N"Don't worry..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:31.30,0:04:33.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,My next question is,\Nif aliens arrived on Earth
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:33.34,0:04:36.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,to abduct our most successful\Ninhabitant, where would they look?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:37.90,0:04:39.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,ALAN: Neverland.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:39.58,0:04:41.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER, SOME APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:45.42,0:04:48.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Are they aliens?\NI think that's the popular idea.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:48.30,0:04:49.98,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,How the hell did they get a shot\Nof them?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:50.26,0:04:52.38,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Looks like an alien boy band.\NThat's Hubble for you.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:52.62,0:04:54.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:54.58,0:04:56.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Like alien YMCA.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:57.78,0:04:59.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They would look and see\Nwhich was the most successful
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:04:59.94,0:05:01.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,form of life on Earth.\NCockroaches.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:01.58,0:05:03.38,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, ants. Are you talking about\Nthe amount of awards?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:03.66,0:05:05.94,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Bacteria!\N"Bacteria" is the right answer.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:06.26,0:05:07.46,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Bacteria.\Nby far.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:07.78,0:05:10.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,By any criterion by which you judge\Nthe success of life,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:10.62,0:05:14.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,bacteria win hands down\Nin terms of profusion, diversity,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:14.62,0:05:16.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,ability to live\Nunder extraordinary conditions.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:16.54,0:05:17.70,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, but nobody likes 'em, do they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:17.98,0:05:19.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, we wouldn't be alive\Nwithout them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:19.78,0:05:21.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We entirely depend upon them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:21.34,0:05:23.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,If chicken had no bacteria,\Nit would be completely tasteless.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:23.98,0:05:26.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It would not taste anything.\NThat's true of almost all foods.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:26.74,0:05:27.90,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Cheese, of course.\NBacteria...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:28.22,0:05:29.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There's only a very small number\Nof bacteria are dangerous.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:30.14,0:05:32.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,If you were to take a gram a soil,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:32.58,0:05:36.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,there are 40,000 species of different\Nbacteria in that one gram,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:36.70,0:05:37.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,let alone the amount there are.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:38.30,0:05:39.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And each species is\Nas different from each other
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:40.22,0:05:43.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,as a rhinoceros is from...a primrose.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:43.38,0:05:44.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, they are amazing things.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:44.90,0:05:47.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to fall in love with,\Nwith the bacterium.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:48.10,0:05:50.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They are just the most marvellous\Nthings conceivable.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:50.86,0:05:52.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, you've sold me!\NThey live in boiling acid.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:52.78,0:05:57.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They live in ice, they live\Nin nuclear, cooling water.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:57.46,0:05:58.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, they can live\Nabsolutely anywhere
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:05:59.26,0:06:01.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,under 6,000 atmospheres of pressure.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:01.90,0:06:03.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Where's their favourite place,\Nthough?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:03.46,0:06:04.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Where do they really like\Nto hang out?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:05.02,0:06:06.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Human tummy.\NThey love the human tummy.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:06.78,0:06:09.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We reckon 75% of the bacteria\Nin the tummy
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:09.46,0:06:11.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,have not yet really been identified\Nas separate species.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:11.98,0:06:13.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They're fantastic.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:13.42,0:06:15.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But they do exist all over the place.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:15.22,0:06:16.50,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,What about pygmies, though?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:16.78,0:06:18.74,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Surely pygmies are more hardy,\Naren't they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:19.02,0:06:20.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:20.50,0:06:21.74,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,They can live anywhere\Nin the world.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:22.06,0:06:24.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Pygmies can live anywhere\Nin the world?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:24.70,0:06:25.98,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,..than bacteria.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:26.34,0:06:28.50,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, bloody hell, I've gotta warm up\Non my bacteria gags!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:30.10,0:06:31.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So why do you say that pygmies are...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:31.90,0:06:33.38,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, because you say "successful",
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:33.66,0:06:35.94,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,you're imbuing them with\Nsome sort of human characteristics.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:36.22,0:06:38.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I'm not. No, I mean "successful"\Npurely, in purely Darwinian terms.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:38.86,0:06:40.10,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah.\NSo if you're a scientist...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:40.34,0:06:42.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Are they all invisible\Nto the naked eye
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:42.42,0:06:44.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,or are there any, kind of,\Ncat-sized...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:44.46,0:06:46.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, they're all teeny-weeny.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:46.66,0:06:48.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,To have one as a pet -\Na big, hairy bacteria.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:49.18,0:06:52.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,(LAUGHS) No, they look it, under the\Nmicroscope, some of them, don't they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:52.78,0:06:55.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They have parthenogenic sex,\Nas it were, amongst them.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:55.58,0:06:56.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Each to the other.\NWhat sort of sex?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:57.10,0:06:58.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Virgin birth, you know?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:06:58.70,0:07:00.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They divide and split and divide\Nand...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:01.02,0:07:02.26,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, like amoebas.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:02.58,0:07:03.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,..reproduce their DNA,\Nwhich is their life.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:04.06,0:07:06.14,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"How many amoebas does it take\Nto change a light bulb?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:06.34,0:07:07.58,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"One. No, two. No, four. No, eight.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:07.90,0:07:10.94,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,No, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256.\NStop! Stop!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:11.14,0:07:12.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:12.94,0:07:14.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Very, very, very good, indeed.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:14.98,0:07:18.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, we come to a sensitive subject\Nnow, ladies and gentlemen - bulges.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:18.82,0:07:22.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, the Latin for a bulge\Nor protuberance is 'toros',
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:23.22,0:07:25.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,which is not only the name\Nfor that sort of doughnut shape
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:25.94,0:07:27.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,that they put\Nparticle accelerators in
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:27.46,0:07:30.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,but also the technical name\Nfor the fleshy part of an apple
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:30.30,0:07:33.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and many people believe that\Nthe universe is shaped like a toros.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:33.86,0:07:35.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought the Taurus was the bull.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:35.50,0:07:37.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, this is T-O-R\Nrather than T-A-U.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:38.26,0:07:40.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,T-A-U is a bull, but T-O-R...\NUh!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:42.10,0:07:43.82,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh! Alan!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:44.14,0:07:45.42,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh!\NIt is a homophone.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:45.70,0:07:47.18,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,(MAKES MOCKING NOISES)
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:49.78,0:07:52.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,This is turning into the most\Nappalling primary school nonsense.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:52.90,0:07:55.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It was a charming mistake\Nof a very... It's a homophone.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:55.90,0:07:57.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They do sound the same.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:57.78,0:07:59.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And they hate gay people. No...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:07:59.82,0:08:01.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:02.62,0:08:05.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it's not hatred of gay people,\Nit's fear of gay people.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:05.98,0:08:07.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Fear or hatred, "phobus".\NYes, "phobus".
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:07.58,0:08:09.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It is, indeed. Absolutely.\NThe two are rather entwined.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:10.30,0:08:13.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a phobia...\NIf you go to www.phobias.com...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:13.82,0:08:15.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:15.42,0:08:17.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There is...\NThere are all the phobias listed.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:17.38,0:08:18.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a phobia which is a phobia
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:19.18,0:08:21.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,of peanut butter sticking\Nto the roof of your mouth.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:22.02,0:08:25.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh. You have to be very good at Greek\Nto be able to give that a name.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:25.74,0:08:28.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They're all there, A to Z. And the\Nbloke who runs the website says...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:28.54,0:08:29.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It says at the top,\Na little disclaimer -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:30.18,0:08:33.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't know how to cure any\Nof these. I just compile the list."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:34.18,0:08:35.34,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,ANNEKA: I...\NYes!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:35.62,0:08:36.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And they're all there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:37.14,0:08:38.98,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Pogonophobia is the fear of beards.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:39.26,0:08:41.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it? Yeah,\Nit's the irrational fear of beards.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:41.46,0:08:42.70,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know whether that means
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:42.94,0:08:44.62,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,you're actually frightened\Nof people with beards
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:44.90,0:08:47.86,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,or you're actually just scared\Nof giant beards, which is...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:48.10,0:08:49.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It's everything. It's fear of bees.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:49.62,0:08:53.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Fear of people is anthropophobia.\NAnthropophobia. Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:53.34,0:08:55.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Fear or flowers is anthrophobia.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:55.54,0:08:56.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,SILENCE\NThey're different.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:57.22,0:08:59.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, they are.\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:08:59.38,0:09:02.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, "anthophobia", actually,\Nas in "anthology".
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:03.10,0:09:04.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It means a collection of flowers,\Nin fact.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:04.66,0:09:05.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Does it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:06.22,0:09:09.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"Anther". A-N-T-H-E-R is the Greek\Nfor "flower". As in "polyantha".
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:09.54,0:09:10.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Can I have a...\NSo...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:11.02,0:09:12.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,You see?\NI thought I was doing well...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:13.06,0:09:14.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, you're doing terribly well.\N..and he just trumped me.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:15.06,0:09:16.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Ailurophobia?\NWhat would you say that was?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:16.42,0:09:18.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The fear of being allured.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:18.34,0:09:19.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:19.86,0:09:21.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The fear of cats.\NIs it? Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:21.82,0:09:23.46,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Achitophobia...\NYeah?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:23.74,0:09:27.58,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,..is the fear of not being able\Nto find a receipt for a faulty item.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:27.82,0:09:29.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:31.18,0:09:32.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And, of course, presumably, every...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:33.10,0:09:34.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Every phobia...\NBluff.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:34.54,0:09:36.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Every "phobia" has a "philia",\Nas it were.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:36.34,0:09:37.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So you could apply the same thing\Nto say
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:38.14,0:09:40.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,a love of having peanut butter\Nstuckk to the roof of your mouth.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:40.70,0:09:42.42,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'd have thought\Njust a little glass of water
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:42.82,0:09:45.18,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,when you're actually eating\Nthe peanut butter sandwich\Nwould clear that problem.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:45.46,0:09:48.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Ever the practical woman.\NShe's so right. You're so right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:48.94,0:09:51.26,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a fortune to be made\Nfrom that cure.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:51.54,0:09:53.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:53.70,0:09:56.05,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,None of which has anything to do\Nwith the next question which is -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:09:56.33,0:10:00.09,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,in the Battle of the Bulge,\Nwho were the Stomach Division?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:01.65,0:10:03.05,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The Germans.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:03.29,0:10:05.77,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They were a German division,\Na German...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:06.05,0:10:07.93,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,A regiment of darts players.\NThey were a division...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:08.17,0:10:09.53,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:09.81,0:10:11.40,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That would certainly be\Na good description...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:11.68,0:10:13.96,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Jocky Wilson. Eric Bristow.\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:14.28,0:10:16.28,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So we're clear on what\Nthe Battle of the Bulge was.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:16.60,0:10:19.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The Battle of the Bulge is in\NBelgium, in the Second World War...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:19.28,0:10:20.88,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes.\N..when the Allies were advancing
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:21.20,0:10:24.12,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,and the Germans went for\None big counteroffensive...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:24.40,0:10:25.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,A last, great counteroffensive.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:25.84,0:10:27.08,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..and it was quite successful.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:27.40,0:10:29.27,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It was so successful\Nthat they made a film about it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:29.47,0:10:30.87,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:31.19,0:10:33.03,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It delayed the Americans...\NIt delayed...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:33.39,0:10:36.19,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It was the largest infantry battle\Nin American military history\Nand the bloodiest.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:36.51,0:10:38.87,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,600,000 Americans were involved,\Nwhich is more than
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:39.15,0:10:40.35,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,the whole of\Nthe Battle of Gettysburg,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:40.63,0:10:42.95,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,which, let's face it,\Nhad Americans on both sides and...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:43.23,0:10:45.66,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,They, they...\NIt was called The Bulge because...?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:45.94,0:10:48.46,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the battle line\Nwas drawn out like that
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:48.82,0:10:51.10,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and The Bulge\Nwas the advancing army.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:51.38,0:10:52.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right.\NThe German advance counterattack
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:52.90,0:10:54.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,made a bulge in the line.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:54.50,0:10:56.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We're talking about very late...\NALAN: '44.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:56.90,0:10:58.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,1944, exactly.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:10:58.46,0:11:00.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, the, Stalin's red army\Nis pushing through Eastern Poland
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:01.18,0:11:04.13,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,towards Germany,\Nand there were so few men!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:04.45,0:11:07.25,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There's so few German soldiers left\Nafter all this fighting... Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:07.57,0:11:09.93,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,..that they decide\Nthat they must use people who are,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:10.21,0:11:11.45,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,who've got a sick note
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:11.77,0:11:14.73,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's only for a very slight\Nproblem, like a little tummy bug.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:15.09,0:11:17.57,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And so all the people with,\Nwho were off sick,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:17.89,0:11:21.20,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,who had stomach problems,\Nwere marshalled into a division
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:21.48,0:11:24.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,of the 70th infantry...\NAll of them felt a bit unwell?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:24.60,0:11:26.64,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,..of the Wehrmacht,\Ncalled the Stomach Division.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:26.88,0:11:28.64,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They all had the runs.\NAnd they had to fight...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:28.92,0:11:32.76,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well...they of course displayed\Noutstanding guts, I'd say.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:33.04,0:11:36.87,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But they were given their own\Nlatrines and their own special diet.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:37.20,0:11:38.79,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And they...\NAnd were given a very wide berth
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:39.03,0:11:40.83,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,by most of the other soldiers.\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:41.11,0:11:43.11,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,So they were called the Stomach\NDivision because they were ill?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:43.39,0:11:45.07,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. And they were called up\Nat the last minute?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:45.39,0:11:46.59,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They were called up,\Nyeah, that's right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:46.91,0:11:48.19,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, there were various things,\Nlike, obviously,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:48.47,0:11:49.99,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,if you had a leg missing or,\Nyou know,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:50.27,0:11:51.51,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,very severe illnesses,\Nyou would be exempt.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:51.71,0:11:52.99,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But they reckoned that...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:53.27,0:11:55.98,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,A bit of windy pops, get out there.\NExactly! "Durchfall".
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:56.30,0:11:59.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"Durchfall" is the rather good\NGerman word for diarrhoea
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:11:59.62,0:12:02.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,which just means, literally,\N"through-fall".
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:02.74,0:12:05.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"Diarrhoea" means "run-through,"\Nfor heaven's sake, from the Greek.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:05.98,0:12:07.14,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Was it purely just physical\Nailments, though?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:07.42,0:12:09.38,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,There was no other ailments?\NALAN: No mad ones?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:09.70,0:12:11.77,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,No ones with, like,\Na terrible stutter,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:12.06,0:12:13.49,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,in charge of the gunnery, you know.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:13.73,0:12:15.29,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:15.29,0:12:17.29,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,"F-f-f...", "What? What?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:17.61,0:12:20.53,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, these were the Stomach...\NRather idealistically shot, there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:20.85,0:12:23.77,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Did you know about that,\Nin the Special Olympics... Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:24.09,0:12:26.05,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..you know,\Nit's handicapped peoples' games
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:26.37,0:12:28.09,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And they allow people in...\NParalympics.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:28.29,0:12:29.57,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Paralympics, they're called.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:29.85,0:12:32.52,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They allow people in\Nwho are a bit mad as well. Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:32.72,0:12:34.44,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And the Spanish basketball team,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:34.76,0:12:36.96,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,a few of them pretended\Nto be mentally ill to get in.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:37.24,0:12:39.16,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, I heard about that!\NAnd they won the gold medal.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:39.44,0:12:41.44,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right.\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:41.72,0:12:44.16,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, really.\NLet that be on your conscience.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:44.40,0:12:45.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I know it is awful.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:46.28,0:12:49.43,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And the opponents were going,\N"Hang on. He's not mad."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:49.63,0:12:50.87,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:51.07,0:12:53.87,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm mad. He's not. I am a mad!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:54.07,0:12:56.31,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:56.59,0:12:59.43,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So, you're right. It was\Nthe Whrmacht 70th Infantry.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:12:59.71,0:13:00.99,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They were known\Nas the Stomach Division.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:01.31,0:13:02.87,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Due to indisposition,\Nthey were unable to attempt
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:03.19,0:13:04.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,the Battle of the Bulge itself.\NBILL: Yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:05.10,0:13:07.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,All 10,000 of them were mopped up\Nby the Canadians.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:08.18,0:13:13.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But what bulges up and down\Nby about 30cm twice a day?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:13.66,0:13:15.50,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it a fat pilot's ankles?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:15.74,0:13:17.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:19.14,0:13:21.01,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Take off...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:22.97,0:13:24.33,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Mount Everest?\NYeah? Not Mount...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:24.61,0:13:27.09,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, actually, sort of, expand that.\NThe whole surface of the Earth.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:27.41,0:13:29.17,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,The Earth's crust.\NYes, the whole Earth.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:29.45,0:13:30.61,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it?\NYeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:30.93,0:13:34.45,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We know that the seas do because\Nof the tidal pull of the moon
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:34.81,0:13:37.61,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,but, actually, the Earth too\Nis also pulled slightly.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:37.93,0:13:39.96,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The actual physical, hard...\NCan we clear up, once and for all,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:40.24,0:13:42.00,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,how the moon makes the sea\Ngo in and out?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:42.28,0:13:44.00,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:44.20,0:13:46.32,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,(LAUGHS) If you think...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:46.56,0:13:47.76,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, don't bother.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:48.04,0:13:50.16,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't fall for his...\NHe's just pissed.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:50.44,0:13:52.36,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,He's like some kid wasting time\Nin class, isn't he?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:52.60,0:13:54.60,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Objects in space are attracted\Nto each other at a ratio
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:54.88,0:13:56.52,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,which is the inverse of the square\Nof their distances
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:56.80,0:13:58.55,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,as Newton made clear in his...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:13:58.79,0:13:59.99,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:00.31,0:14:02.75,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The moon...\NSee, that's too hard, you see.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:03.03,0:14:05.39,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine you're talking\Nto a small child. All right, yes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:07.11,0:14:08.59,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I was!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:08.83,0:14:10.51,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:10.83,0:14:14.03,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine that the sea is made of iron\Nfilings and the moon is a magnet.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:14.35,0:14:15.71,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Use another form of attraction\Nother than gravity.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:15.82,0:14:17.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is the moon a magnet?\NBecause it has a gravitational\Neffect
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:18.14,0:14:19.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,which is a force like magnetism...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:20.10,0:14:21.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Surely the Earth is stronger than\Nthe moon!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:21.78,0:14:23.06,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Why doesn't the moon get pulled\Ninto us?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:23.34,0:14:26.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it's in an orbit.\NIt's entirely around us.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:26.58,0:14:28.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's fighting against...\NIt still has a...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:29.10,0:14:31.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, we have a massive effect\Non it.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:31.50,0:14:33.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,If it had water, obviously,\Nits tides would, you know...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:33.90,0:14:35.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It would be a terrible state.\NYeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:35.46,0:14:38.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But as each...\NIt's literally pulling the seas,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:39.06,0:14:40.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and they bulge,\Nand you get the tides, and as...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:41.22,0:14:42.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Do they pull the liquid in people,\Nthough?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:42.90,0:14:46.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Er, to some extent...\NWe're 90% water, aren't we?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:46.38,0:14:47.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, there is a large...\NAre we going...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:50.14,0:14:51.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..the whole time?\NNever mind all this
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:52.22,0:14:53.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,"You've got Pisces rising\Nin your..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:54.06,0:14:55.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, you're absolutely right! No!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:14:55.62,0:14:58.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all just a distraction.\NThe moon's making us go...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:01.34,0:15:03.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,..all the time. It's not making us\Ndo that all the time
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:03.90,0:15:06.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,or we would have noticed but...\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:06.42,0:15:08.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,In a very minor way...\NSome people do that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:08.46,0:15:10.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,..we behave a little bit\Nlike the Spanish basketball team.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:11.10,0:15:12.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:14.46,0:15:16.34,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you ever heard of a thing\Ncalled a book?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:16.54,0:15:17.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:18.06,0:15:20.42,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They're about that big and you open\Nthem up at the front, right,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:20.70,0:15:23.26,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and there're all the words.\NYou suck them into your brain.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:23.62,0:15:26.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's always good to learn, Sean.\NIt's never good to mock people\Nwho are trying.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:26.46,0:15:28.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:31.26,0:15:33.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Hang on, when you say "trying"...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:33.78,0:15:35.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:35.34,0:15:37.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We're still struggling\Nunder the letter B.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:37.30,0:15:38.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We've had bacteria,\Nwe've had bulge...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:39.26,0:15:42.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, beavers. We've had beaver.\NWe had a lot of beaver but now...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:42.62,0:15:44.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,And quite a lot of bollocks.\NYes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:44.58,0:15:47.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,A great deal of bollocks.\NLAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:47.34,0:15:49.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We now have a swift buzzer question\Nfor everyone, though.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:50.10,0:15:51.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Fingers poised.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:51.66,0:15:54.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Speaking of tidal bulges,\Nhow many moons does the Earth have?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:54.42,0:15:55.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DING! SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:56.06,0:15:57.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Two!\NOh!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:57.78,0:15:59.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXONS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:15:59.66,0:16:00.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:01.02,0:16:02.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,We did this last series!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:02.94,0:16:04.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, but, Alan, that was last year.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:04.50,0:16:05.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There have been\Nthree more discovered!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:05.94,0:16:07.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, shut up!\NIt's true!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:07.98,0:16:09.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's true!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:09.66,0:16:11.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:11.70,0:16:13.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I know it seems astonishing\Nbut it's absolutely true.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:14.06,0:16:15.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you remember last year...\NCruithne.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:15.70,0:16:18.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well remembered! "Cruithne"\Nis the spelling, exactly right,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:18.42,0:16:20.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,but supposedly pronounced\N"croo-EEN-eh,"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:20.42,0:16:21.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,or something like that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:21.90,0:16:24.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But Cruithne was discovered in '97
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:24.78,0:16:27.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and it has a weird, sort of,\Nhorseshoe sort of orbit, which is...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:28.18,0:16:30.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't quite complete -\Nit bounces, like that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:30.30,0:16:32.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Since then,\Nthere have been some more.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:32.90,0:16:34.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Their names -\Nthey've got exciting names.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:34.74,0:16:40.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me tell you their names. They're\N2,000 PH5, 2,000 WN10 and 2,002 AA29.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:41.02,0:16:42.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Those are their names.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:42.62,0:16:43.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people say\Nthey aren't really moons,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:44.10,0:16:46.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,but on the other hand,\Nwhat else can you call them?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:46.34,0:16:47.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They orbit the earth\Nand are, to some extent...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:48.06,0:16:49.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They're not visible to the human eye\Nalthough...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:49.74,0:16:51.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So you can argue that there's one\Nor that there's five,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:51.90,0:16:53.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,but certainly not two, I'm afraid.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:53.38,0:16:54.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is there any evidence\Ntaht people are
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:54.86,0:16:56.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,a bit bonkers\Nwhen there's a full moon? No.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:56.82,0:16:58.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's very interesting. There's been\Na lot of research about it
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:16:59.10,0:17:01.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and there've been a lot of anecdotal\Nevidence that at loony bins,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:01.50,0:17:03.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to lock them up\Non a full moon,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:03.42,0:17:05.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,but actually, there's absolutely\Nno clear evidence whatsoever
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:05.62,0:17:06.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,that people behave oddly on a moon\Nthat's...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:07.26,0:17:09.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That is just nonsense.\NSo why do I go out killing?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:09.42,0:17:11.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:11.46,0:17:13.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Good. So, there we are.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:14.10,0:17:15.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's certainly not two moons.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:16.10,0:17:18.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Which brings us, appropriately,\Nto the humiliating business
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:18.54,0:17:21.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,of our General Ignorance round,\Nwhich is how we end our show.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:21.54,0:17:24.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We ask, over and over again,\Nthe same question -
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:24.42,0:17:25.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,"What on Earth\Ndid you go to school for?"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:26.22,0:17:29.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Fingers on buzzers, please,\Nlady and gentlemen.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:29.38,0:17:32.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,How many points do you need\Nto win a game of table tennis?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:32.90,0:17:34.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DING! SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:34.74,0:17:36.22,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,21.\NNo!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:36.54,0:17:39.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Alany, Alany, Walany,\NAlany, Walany.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:39.34,0:17:41.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It is 21.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:41.34,0:17:43.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it isn't,\NI'm afraid the rules were changed.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:44.22,0:17:45.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The rules were changed.\NWhat?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:45.66,0:17:47.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:47.58,0:17:50.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I know it sounds absurd\Nbut they were.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:50.74,0:17:52.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The rules were changed last year.\NYep. Yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:52.98,0:17:54.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's 11.\NIt's 11.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:54.50,0:17:56.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You knew. Anneka knew.\NSo knew. So knew.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:56.46,0:17:58.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's 11. Ah.\NThe rules changed in July, 2003.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:17:58.74,0:17:59.98,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,When they discovered the other moon.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:00.18,0:18:01.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:02.10,0:18:05.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I'll let Alan get five points\Nback if he can give me the reason.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:05.70,0:18:07.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There were...\NTwo things happened, essentially.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:07.86,0:18:10.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They stopped it from being 21,\Nthey made it 11 and not only that,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:10.66,0:18:13.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,they've actually increased\Nthe size of the ball by 2mm.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:13.38,0:18:15.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What is the reason\Nfor both those changes?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:15.42,0:18:16.70,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They made the ball larger?\NYeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:16.94,0:18:18.14,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,To make the game easier?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:18.42,0:18:20.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a question just for Stupid...\N..just for Alan.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:20.90,0:18:22.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:23.10,0:18:24.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,To get five points back.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:24.66,0:18:26.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't, really...\NThere's one thing, one thing.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:26.82,0:18:28.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What do you and I both feed\Nlike whores?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:30.66,0:18:32.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Pardon?!\NANNEKA: What?!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:32.22,0:18:34.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:34.34,0:18:36.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You and I! What do we...\NWhat do we feed like...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:36.54,0:18:37.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Earn our daily crust from?\NFrom the...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:37.98,0:18:39.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Feeding that cathode ray tube,\Nthe television.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:40.14,0:18:42.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Um, um, television.\NTelevision. Television.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:42.42,0:18:43.90,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The games are shorter.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:44.18,0:18:46.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It makes it fourteen percent slower,\Nmore easy to watch.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:47.10,0:18:48.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,To watch on the television.\NThat's right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:48.58,0:18:50.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And the games are shorter
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:50.46,0:18:52.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,because human beings these days\Nare just gibbering maniacs...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:52.74,0:18:54.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They really are.\NHave to go and vomit up a pizza
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:55.14,0:18:57.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,every five minutes so they can't have\Nanything longer than that
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:18:57.94,0:19:00.50,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,How many bacteria are there\Non a table tennis ball, for example?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:00.74,0:19:01.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Many. Many, I should think.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:02.22,0:19:03.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Cos they must be hardy souls,\Nmustn't they?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:05.34,0:19:06.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's certainly...\NWhoa!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:09.06,0:19:11.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,So, first to 11, then?\NYeah. Anyway, so that's the reason.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:12.06,0:19:13.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What they should really get rid of
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:13.58,0:19:15.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,is that awful noise of trainers\Non the floor
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:15.38,0:19:17.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,so people watching on television -\Nsqueak, squeak, squeak, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:17.46,0:19:18.70,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Drives me mental.\NYes, I know.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:19.02,0:19:20.86,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why I kill.\NThat's why you kill.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:21.14,0:19:22.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why you kill.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:22.62,0:19:24.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, as a first-timer on this show,\NAnnie,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:24.94,0:19:26.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,we've got a question especially\Nfor you.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:26.70,0:19:29.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,You're touring\Nin the Vagina Monologues.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:29.82,0:19:31.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And I understand\Nyou're something of an expert
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:31.62,0:19:32.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,in this interesting field.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:33.18,0:19:35.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So tell me, how many vaginas\Ndoes a kangaroo have?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:36.06,0:19:37.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a kangaroo there.\NYou could...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:37.74,0:19:40.18,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, hang on. Let me...\NAre they vaginas on top of its head?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:40.38,0:19:41.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:42.18,0:19:43.90,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I would say four.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:44.22,0:19:46.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually, I'll throw\Nthe kangaroo's vagina open.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:46.74,0:19:49.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DING! SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE\NNone! No vaginas.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:49.26,0:19:51.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DRUM SEQUENCE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:51.78,0:19:53.50,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,800.\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:55.10,0:19:56.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:56.78,0:19:58.10,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,801.\NLAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:19:58.38,0:20:00.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Anybody in the audience?\NThree.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:00.30,0:20:01.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Three is the right answer.\NYes!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:01.90,0:20:03.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Three. We got three.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:04.74,0:20:06.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a very extraordinary thing.\N(ALAN LAUGHS)
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:06.66,0:20:08.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It has...\NThree!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:08.58,0:20:10.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,In case you're wondering,\Nthat's two up and one across.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:10.98,0:20:13.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,In terms of configuration.\NIs that a crossword clue?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:14.22,0:20:15.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I know what happens\Nwhen they give birth. Yeah?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:16.10,0:20:19.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,The baby crawls across the mother's\Nbody and goes in the pouch.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:19.26,0:20:20.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, well, there are...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:20.82,0:20:23.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There are unborn foetuses\Nthat know that
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:24.18,0:20:25.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,but the question\Nthat is more interesting...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:27.42,0:20:31.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,..is that it actually has two wombs,\Nthe female kangaroo.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:32.10,0:20:33.38,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:33.66,0:20:35.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And it gives birth to a baby, a joey.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:35.46,0:20:37.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And this... And if it...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:37.30,0:20:38.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,(WITH AUSTRALIAN ACCENT) Joey.\NIt's called a "joey", mate.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:39.10,0:20:40.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, joey, yes.\N(WITH AUSTRALIAN ACCENT) Joey.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:40.62,0:20:42.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, or joey with a bad Australian\Naccent, whichever you like.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:43.26,0:20:45.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And if it doesn't survive the year...\NYeah?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:45.94,0:20:49.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,..then that triggers the birth\Nof another joey in the other womb,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:49.38,0:20:51.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,which comes out of the other vagina,\Nthe other uterus.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:51.66,0:20:53.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And so it's like a backup.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:53.46,0:20:54.74,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,And the third one's for luck?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:55.02,0:20:56.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But the third one\Nis completely not understood
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:56.66,0:20:57.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,because there's only two wombs\Nbut three vaginas.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:58.18,0:20:59.42,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, and the male has four penises
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:20:59.74,0:21:01.06,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,so there's a lot of rutting\Ngoing on.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:01.30,0:21:03.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No. How many penises\Ndoes the male have?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:03.50,0:21:04.66,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,17.\NTwo.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:04.94,0:21:06.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Two, yes.\NANNEKA: Two.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:06.42,0:21:10.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, one split into two.\NKnown as the hemipenis.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:10.26,0:21:11.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, yeah.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:11.82,0:21:13.66,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,He's racking up points\Nin the last round.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:13.98,0:21:16.94,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I've eaten kangaroo and\Nit tastes very much like wallaby.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:17.22,0:21:18.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:20.58,0:21:21.94,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,A bit gamey.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:22.14,0:21:23.86,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Can I just also say...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:24.18,0:21:27.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,A wallaby is someone who really wants\Nto be a kangaroo, isn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:27.30,0:21:28.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,GENERAL GROAN
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:28.98,0:21:30.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Can I just tell you\Nbecause it's quite interesting?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:32.10,0:21:33.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,One thing I learnt\Nduring the Vagina Monologues
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:33.90,0:21:37.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,is that the clitoris is the only\Norgan in the male or female body
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:37.94,0:21:39.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,that's designed purely for pleasure.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:39.90,0:21:41.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It has no other use at all.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:41.70,0:21:44.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's wonderful.\NAnd it has 8,000 nerve endings,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:44.34,0:21:46.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,twice the number as in a penis.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:46.62,0:21:49.06,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,No, the clitoris,\Nisn't it for putting,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:49.34,0:21:50.86,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,balancing pound coins on\Nfor parking?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:51.10,0:21:52.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:56.58,0:21:58.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That's either completely surreal\Nor I've missed a verbal connection.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:21:59.22,0:22:01.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:01.38,0:22:03.34,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, those things on a spring.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:03.66,0:22:05.74,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,You press 'em and they ping back up.\NOh, right.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:06.06,0:22:08.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that called a clitoris?\NIsn't it?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:08.34,0:22:09.70,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Those little things you lick,\Nyou press down
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:09.90,0:22:11.18,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,and they "ping" back up later on.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:11.50,0:22:12.70,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't that a clitoris?\NNo.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:12.90,0:22:14.38,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:14.70,0:22:17.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Two-thirds of your answer\Nwas correct. Oh.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:17.70,0:22:19.46,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,SEAN: It's got no other use.\NEntirely there for pleasure.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:19.74,0:22:22.34,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Just, that's the only thing.\NIt's just there for decoration.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:22.62,0:22:24.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,In my case, of course,\Nthat's true of the penis too but...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:26.94,0:22:28.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,From one kind of...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:28.62,0:22:30.62,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,So, Stephen, what are you pissing\Nthrough these days?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:30.90,0:22:32.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:32.58,0:22:34.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't you love pissing?\NI love to piss!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:34.26,0:22:35.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:38.66,0:22:40.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,From one kind of unusual birth\Nto another.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:41.02,0:22:43.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What was quite interesting\Nabout the birth of Julius Caesar?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:44.10,0:22:45.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DRUM SEQUENCE\NYes.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:46.02,0:22:48.38,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,It was... A wolf.\NSomething with a wolf.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:48.66,0:22:50.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:50.34,0:22:52.06,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,He was chucked out by a wolf.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:52.38,0:22:55.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that's an unfortunate\Nsort of elision
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:55.50,0:22:57.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,of Romulus and Remus there,\Nnot Julius Caesar.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:22:57.54,0:22:59.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Romulus and Remus were said\Nto have been suckled by wolves. Yes?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:00.30,0:23:01.78,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Caesarean section.\NOh!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:02.10,0:23:03.98,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXONS\NDear, oh, dear, oh, dear...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:06.18,0:23:09.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm afraid that's\Nanother cunningly-laid trap
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:09.42,0:23:10.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,you've fallen into, Mr Bond.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:11.22,0:23:13.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,I sort of felt that might happen,\Nto be honest.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:13.90,0:23:16.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I know, I know, it's sort of\Ninevitability, tragic inevitability.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:16.42,0:23:17.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,There's something about that\Nthat felt like
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:18.06,0:23:20.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, the fact is that...\NI'm a bit lemming-like, aren't I?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:20.58,0:23:21.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:22.14,0:23:23.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And you're small and furry\Nand attractive.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:23.74,0:23:25.62,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Stephen Wright said he was born\Nby Caesarean section.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:25.86,0:23:27.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,It doesn't really affect him except
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:27.42,0:23:29.30,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,when he goes into a room,\Nhe leaves by the window.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:30.90,0:23:32.58,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Julius Caesar was born\Nby Caesarean section!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:32.82,0:23:34.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, he was not!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:34.38,0:23:36.10,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What does it mean, then?\NWhy is it "Caesarean section"?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:36.42,0:23:38.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a corruption of the word\N"cadare" meaning "to cut".
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:38.34,0:23:40.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There was such a thing as
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:40.50,0:23:43.42,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,of what we call Caesarean section\Nin Roman times but the mother\Nalways died.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:43.70,0:23:46.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,The only way they knew how to do it\Nwould always kill the mother.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:46.50,0:23:47.74,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Slash and grab.\NAnd Aurelia, who...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:47.98,0:23:49.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Aurelia, who was\NJulius Caesar's mother,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:49.86,0:23:51.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,was known to have lived\Nwell into his adulthood
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:51.94,0:23:54.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,so he could not have been born\Nby Caesarean section.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:54.42,0:23:55.94,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's not the answer?\NHow was he born?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:56.22,0:23:57.78,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,How was he born?\NWe're mumbling between ourselves.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:58.02,0:23:59.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't know anything particularly\Nextraordinary
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:23:59.46,0:24:00.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,about his features of birth,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:01.02,0:24:03.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,we just wanted Laughing Boy here\Nto fall into the trap.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:03.26,0:24:04.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:04.86,0:24:06.02,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm afraid it worked.\NAPPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:06.22,0:24:07.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:07.74,0:24:09.78,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,So it just was purely a trap.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:10.10,0:24:11.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,It was purely a trap.\NI'm sorry about that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:11.86,0:24:14.26,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They couldn't do the eyes, could\Nthey, the sculptors in them days.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:14.54,0:24:16.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No, they couldn't.\NThey're just rubbish.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:16.62,0:24:18.14,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They'd say, "what do you think?"\Nand he went...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:20.10,0:24:22.54,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't even try, do they?\NThey coloured them in, though,\Nyou see?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:22.86,0:24:24.34,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,They used to paint them.\NThey were all painted.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:24.62,0:24:26.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Quite right, they were all painted.\NDo I get points?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:26.58,0:24:27.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, go on, have a point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:28.14,0:24:29.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Same with English churches,\Nwhich were all clearly painted.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:30.22,0:24:32.02,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,And, of course,\Nthe white cliffs of Dover as well,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:32.30,0:24:33.62,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,that was all coloured in\Nat one point.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:33.86,0:24:35.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:35.50,0:24:37.86,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,A big jungle scene -\Na mountain, giraffes...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:41.22,0:24:42.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, dear, dear, dear.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:42.98,0:24:44.82,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,What, a massive great mural,\Nall along the South Coast?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:45.06,0:24:47.02,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,All the different peoples\Nof the world holding hands.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:47.22,0:24:48.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:49.06,0:24:52.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,All pointing at Westlife,\Ndrowning in the sea, going, "Yay!"
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:54.06,0:24:55.66,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Did they used to do\Npublic drownings?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:55.98,0:24:58.70,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Why don't they do it for people\Non death row, drown them?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:24:58.98,0:25:00.70,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,You could ask for your last meal\Nto be coconuts
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:00.90,0:25:02.18,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and you could form a raft and...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:02.38,0:25:03.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:04.06,0:25:05.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,SOME APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:10.86,0:25:12.34,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I always think that,\Nthose bloody last meals.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:12.62,0:25:14.54,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,When they...\NThey always ask the same thing.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:14.78,0:25:16.02,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Fish fingers and chips.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:16.34,0:25:20.06,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it's always cheeseburger,\Ncheeseburger, fries and a Coke.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:20.34,0:25:24.30,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Which we, non-criminals,\Nrefer to as a Happy Meal.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:24.54,0:25:25.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:28.10,0:25:30.70,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,I just don't understand why\Nthey don't ask for something like\Na really...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:31.02,0:25:33.34,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,A stale baguette and a pineapple,\Nright,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:33.66,0:25:36.50,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,and form it like a medieval mace\Nand just sort of fight their way...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:40.10,0:25:42.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,That brings us rather attractively,\NI think, to our next question
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:43.06,0:25:44.46,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,because it's not unconnected.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:44.78,0:25:45.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,For what offences\Nin the United Kingdom
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:46.26,0:25:47.54,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,can you still theoretically\Nbe put to death?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:47.78,0:25:49.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DRUM SEQUENCE, SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:49.62,0:25:51.02,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Burning Her Majesty's ships\Nin her ports.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:51.26,0:25:52.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:52.82,0:25:54.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,KLAXONS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:54.78,0:25:57.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Arson in the royal dockyards is not\Na capital offence, I'm afraid, no.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:57.90,0:25:59.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,20 away from you.\NAny other thoughts? Yes?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:25:59.98,0:26:01.38,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:02.94,0:26:04.34,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Puppetry in the royal dockyards?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:04.58,0:26:05.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:06.10,0:26:07.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DRUM SEQUENCE\NTreason!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:07.62,0:26:09.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...\NKLAXONS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:09.30,0:26:11.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:15.78,0:26:17.18,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't believe it!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:18.78,0:26:20.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Like a Heffalump into the honey trap.\NWell, there you are.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:21.18,0:26:22.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,There are no capital offences\Nin the United Kingdom.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:23.22,0:26:26.66,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Since 1999, when Mr Jackc Straw signed\Na particular Protocol,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:26.94,0:26:30.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,the Sixth Protocol, I think, of the\NEuropean Declaration of Human Rights,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:31.22,0:26:33.26,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,treason and piracy with violence\Nand all those
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:33.54,0:26:35.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,ceased to be capital offences\Nin 1998,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:35.38,0:26:38.30,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and the death penalty for arson\Nin Her Majesty's dockyards
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:38.54,0:26:40.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,was quietly abolished in 1971.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:41.22,0:26:43.58,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Lastly, a distinctly final note,\Nladies and gentlemen.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:43.82,0:26:45.50,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,What are dead bodies eaten by?
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:45.78,0:26:47.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,DING! SAXOPHONE JAZZ TUNE\NYes!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:49.18,0:26:51.46,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, I nearly said worms.\NI'll bet that's wrong.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:51.78,0:26:52.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,No!\NKLAXONS
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:53.22,0:26:56.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Maggots. I didn't say worms!\NI didn't say worms!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:56.46,0:26:58.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Worms came out of your mouth,\Nif I can put it that way.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:26:59.10,0:27:01.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,But I don't think we should take away\Nthose points because he...
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:01.62,0:27:04.18,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, maggot- Bacteria!\NBacteria. Yay!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:04.46,0:27:08.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Quite right, our dear new best\Nfriends. Bacteria, they eat us all.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:08.34,0:27:10.10,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,The beavers of death.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:10.38,0:27:12.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,They've been in the living body all\Nalong and they end up decomposing us.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:13.26,0:27:14.42,s1,,0000,0000,0000,,Or cannibals.\NCannibals eat dead bodies.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:14.70,0:27:16.06,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,LAUGHTER
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:16.34,0:27:17.54,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah.\NYes, I'm sure they do.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:17.82,0:27:20.66,s3,,0000,0000,0000,,Forgetful grave diggers.\N"Where's my packed lunch? Oh..."
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:22.46,0:27:25.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Perhaps the most alarming place where\Nbacteria hang out is in the kitchen.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:25.50,0:27:28.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Chopping boards contain three times\Nas many bacteria as lavatory seats,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:28.50,0:27:31.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and dish cloths a million times\Nmore than that.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:31.38,0:27:32.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Which is quite scary.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:32.94,0:27:34.10,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,So there you are,\Nthere's your bacteria
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:34.42,0:27:35.74,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,who've been a theme\Nfor the week there.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:36.06,0:27:37.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And there's just time to stroll\Ninto the hall of shame
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:38.22,0:27:40.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and see the final scores which are,\Nin reverse order, I think,
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:41.14,0:27:43.78,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,out in front, with seven points,\NAnneka Rice!
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:44.10,0:27:45.50,s2,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow.\NCHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:45.86,0:27:48.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,And just one point behind,\Non six points, is Bill Bailey.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:50.78,0:27:56.18,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,For a clear third equal on -18 points\Neach, Sean Lock, Alan Davies.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:27:56.46,0:27:58.22,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:00.02,0:28:03.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, that's all from Alan, Bill,\NAnneka, Sean and me for this week.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:04.10,0:28:06.94,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Please do write to us if you have got\Nsomething quite interesting to add
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:07.26,0:28:09.62,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,but don't write to us pointing out\Nthat beavers
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:09.82,0:28:11.14,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,could be mistaken for euphemisms.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:11.34,0:28:12.82,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,We never use euphemisms
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:13.10,0:28:15.34,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,and we think people who do\Nare complete front bottoms.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:15.54,0:28:16.90,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Good night.
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:17.10,0:28:18.86,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,APPLAUSE
Dialogue: Marked=0,0:28:45.82,0:28:48.70,s0,,0000,0000,0000,,Closed Captions by CSI -\NJacqui Mapoon