Psych (2006–2014): Season 3, Episode 8 - Psych - full transcript

When Gus is taken hostage inside the Santa Barbara Savings and Loan Bank, Shawn becomes the gunman's chief negotiator in the hopes of saving his best friend.

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---
(SIGHS)

You're not coming in?

You're gonna make me
stand in that deposit
line all by myself?

No, buddy, I will
be with you in spirit,
like a tiny wood nymph.

Besides,
what's your glitch with
the ATM machine, anyway?

It's a people thing, Shawn.
Business should always
be done face to face.

Well, if you remember,
I'm holding a bit of a grudge

against this particular
banking institution.

Why, because they turned
you down for a small business
loan last year?

Yes,
because they turned me down
for a small business loan.

That was completely
legitimate, Gus.



Shawn, it was
for a zip-line
pulley system

to transport snacks from
the kitchen to your desk.

Or the reception area.
What's your point?

Part of running
a business together, Shawn,

is sharing
in the responsibilities

of the business side
of the business,

like making deposits.

What about the bidnizz side?

'Cause I feel like
I'm more of a bidnizz man.
Who's covering that?

You know what? Fine.
I'll do it myself.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

(SCREAMING)

He's got a gun!

(ALL CLAMORING)



Don't anybody move! You, go!
Now, don't anybody move!

Drop the gun!
You drop your gun!

(GUN FIRES)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Get over there! Get back.

MAN: Please, sir. Don't...

Don't anybody do anything.

(SIRENS WAILING)

Lassy, Jules,
what are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Shawn, we have a situation.

Some guy held up
the bank and we think
he's taken hostages.

Whoa! Whoa, take it easy.

Gus is in there.

I know, you know
That I'm not telling the truth

I know, you know
They just don't have any proof

Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend

Your worst inhibitions
tend to psych you out
in the end

This is Sue Ellen Jasper
reporting to you live

outside the Santa Barbara
National Savings Bank

where an as yet unnamed
assailant has attempted
to steal

over a million dollars worth
of diamonds and is now
holding hostages inside.

Police are on the scene,
but have yet to reveal
any further details.

We'll report back
to you as soon as we
have more information.

JULIET: You didn't
see anything?

I wasn't in the bank, Jules.
Whoa! Hold it right there.

Why didn't you
go into the bank?

We came here
to make a deposit.

That's not really
a two-man job.

What, we both should've
grabbed a corner of the check

and gingerly
walked it in together?

I just find it oddly
un-psychic of you

to have not known
this was going to happen.

I don't see into
the future, Jules.

I read things in the present.

And I get it. You think
I'm not kicking myself enough?

I let my best friend
go in there without me

and now he's stuck in there
and I'm stuck out here.

Detective Lassiter,
that guy could
be a loose cannon.

Someone needs to go
inside the bank.

KAREN: O'Hara, I need you
to take statements

from the remaining witnesses
that were outside the bank.

Got it, Chief.

Now, Detective?
Yeah.

I just want you to know
that I've informed
the FBI and SWAT

and their chief negotiator
is moments away.

No.
It's protocol
and you know it.

Chief,
this thing's already turning
into a three-ring circus

without bringing
those adrenaline
monkeys down here.

Look, we have a hostage
situation, Detective,

and I expect you
to fully cooperate.

Just make a call
into the bank.
See where we're at.

Maybe I can wrap this
thing up here and now.

Save the city a whole
lot of time and money.

Somebody needs
to call into the bank!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SIRENS BLARING)

Heads up, we're on the clock!

And cut! Great.

Dripping with swagger.

Let's go again, though,
and maybe ease up

on the cocksure
smile just a bit.

I liked it, I'm just
not sure it's gonna
play in the Midwest.

Who the hell are you?

Oh, my apologies.
I'm Shawn Spencer.

Lead psychic for the SBPD.

And dilettante
of shadow puppetry.

What's this?
What's this right here?

(MAKING KISSING SOUNDS)

Oh, that's a swan
kissing the moon.

Well, I'm Commander Luntz,
hostage negotiator,

and I will thank you
to step aside and let me
handle things from here.

(CARLTON CLEARS THROAT)

Luntz.

(SIGHING) Lassiter.

Perhaps, as head detective,
I can brief you on what's
going on here.

Listen, Detective.
I don't wanna play
the title game with you.

Title games?
Is that anything like
Celebrity? Because if it is,

I'm gonna kick your ass.

What? I will.
I'm really good at the game.

Little refresher,
I have 26 years
of experience

and am sort of an expert
in human psychology
and conditioning

so I do know two things.

One, your friend
here is acting out
of a place of fear.

A little sweat on the temple,
a little vibrato in the voice.

This is personal for you.
And number two,

I have about 40 seconds
to initiate a call
into that bank

before all the wheels
spin off of this thing.
So, excuse me.

Boys, fire me up a call
inside the bank
and patch me in.

MAN: Yes, sir! Right away.

We're not just gonna let
him do this, right, Lassy?

It's protocol.
We have no choice.

(SIGHS)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Whose phone is that?

It's his phone.

Thank you, sir.

We're hostages together,
we're supposed to be
on the same side here.

Give me the phone.

I apologize. I would,
but it's my work phone.

And I get charged
the deductible for any
lost or stolen items,

so how about I just
turn the ringer off?

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Everyone, cell phones, now!

(PHONE RINGING)

This is Commander Luntz.
My friends call me Luntz.

You are?
That's good.
That's fine.

You don't have
to say anything.

I can do all
the talking for now.

I'm real good at these
one-sided conversations,

just ask my ex-wife.

LUNTZ: What about you?
You married?

Get those guys away
from the bank!

Tell them to get
the hell back!

I can do that.
Do it now!

Well, you got to do
something for me then.

That's how
these things work.

What?
How about
we start with a name.

You give me your name
and I will back those
guys so far up

they'll have to put two
stamps on any letter they
mail to you. How's that?

Like he's just gonna
give him his name.

Phil, that's good.
I've got a nephew
named Phillip.

He's a real rascal.
He's got a killer arm
for an eight-year-old.

Plays right field.
What's your last name, Phil?

Get them back!

Well, I just need to know
who I'm dealing with.

That's how I can help you.
Otherwise,
these guys with the guns,

they get really,
really nervous.

So, if we get to know each
other, we can be friends.

Then I can vouch for you,
and I can protect you.
I protect all my friends.

Stubbins.
Stubbins.

I'm on it.

My fianc?, Michael
Lenhart is in there!

He's a diabetic.
He's gonna need to eat soon.

Help him, please!

Okay, okay, just stay calm.

(WHISPERING) Hey,
there's a woman over
there who's hysterical.

Her fianc? is...

Now, look, Phil,
nobody's in a rush here.

I'm in this for the long haul
as long as you are,
so we'll take our time,

but you have a bunch
of hungry people in there

and you've got a young
guy who's a diabetic

and his fianc?e is out here
worried about him.
You know how women worry.

So, it would go a long way
if you let me send you guys
some food in there.

You like pizza?

That's because
you don't understand
how protocol works.

You may have gotten Guster
in real trouble in there,
dialing his cell phone.

At least
I did something.

Look, Shawn.
He is SWAT and he is
good at what he does.

I am fine with
backing off here.

He's SWAT? He's SWAT?
That's your argument?
He's not Colin Farrell.

I get that you are
concerned about Gus,

but I can assure you,
he is in capable hands.

(WHISPERING) Hey, there's
a woman over there who's
hysterical. Her fianc? is...

Wait a minute.
I get what's happening here.

You do?
Yes, I do.

I'm sensing
a relationship here.

You are?
Yes, you and Luntz.

There's a familial
thing happening.

He's like an older uncle.
What? Are you related to him?

Not yet.
Lassiter!

What? He's psychic.
Shouldn't he know already?

Know what?
What is he getting at?
It's nothing.

But I do know Cameron...
Luntz. Commander
Cameron Luntz.

Cameron?

Yes. And he
is not my uncle.

I met him at a police
district conference.

He asked me out.
We went on a few dates.
I like him.

(LAUGHING) Oh, my God!
You're dating this guy?

Ding, ding, ding.
Tell him what he won, O'Hara!

Lassiter!

Look, Shawn, I was...

Don't... Don't...
Don't worry.
It's fine, Jules, really.

Dare I say, dandy?
Isn't that a word
from his generation?

That's not fair.

And, look, I was gonna
talk to you about
it earlier, but...

That's great.
It's really great,
congratulations.

I'm so, so happy for you.
Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a best friend to save.

Chief,
elder Commanding
Officer Luntz,

you need to let me
get involved here.

You need to let me
scope things out.

Absolutely not.
You're not a trained
tactical officer, Spencer.

Are we positive
he's even house trained?

(SCOFFS) Okay. All right,
maybe you and I got off
on the wrong foot.

And you know what?
You're correct.

I have had a few close calls
around the house recently.

But I can help you.

Oh? How's that?

What do you know
about this guy,
other than his name?

We know that he's a longtime
customer of this bank.

Owed a huge load
of back-taxes to the IRS,

just had his house
foreclosed on.

And he's a middle child.

You know
he's a middle child?

I can hear it
in the timbre of his voice,

and the fact that he doesn't
use contractions, yes.

Okay, fine.
What about everyone
else in the bank?

Look, you send your guy
in there and what?

Maybe he gets you
a guesstimate of how many
hostages there are?

I can walk into that bank,
I can psychically read every
single hostage and Stubbins.

He's freaked out.
He won't talk to you.

He doesn't need to.
I can read his mind.

Can you read
my mind right now?

'Cause it's sending
a very clear message
where I want you to be.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Sir!

Luntz here.

PHIL:
Do you think I'm stupid?

What are you talking about?
I can see what you are doing.

You are sending a cop
in here with the pizzas.
Just look, Phil.

Calm down now, that's just
for everybody's safety.
That's all.

Well, it is not happening.

I'll bring them up there
myself if you like.

I do not think so.
You will send in
a regular person.

Regular person?

Yes, a regular person.

You will send in someone
from behind those barricades.
A regular person, not a cop.

What the hell is he doing?

I wouldn't accept
these if I were you.

Spencer!

Just put the pizzas
down and walk away.
Get out of there.

Eight pies,
four of them
are vegetable.

What? Is this
guy for real?

No pepperoni? Really?

Plus the blatant disregard
and utter criminal
lack of ham and pineapple?

Spencer...
What kind of good faith
negotiation is this?

I mean, this is
a hostage negotiation!

Well, I don't care
if you're not happy
with the ingredients!

Put the pizzas down
and walk away!

I won't let you accept these.

Walk away!
This is my operation!

Go get him.
Go get him out of there!

Sir. Sir...

He's not going
to accept the...

(SCREAMS)

SWAT OFFICER: All right then,
move! Fan out! Fan out!
Fan out! Go, go, go, go!

Spencer!
SWAT OFFICER:
Everybody fall back!

(SIGHS)

Terrific.

Put those pizzas down,
right over there.

All right, Phil, I am just
as mad about this as you are.

Why don't you let me go
out there and make this right?

On the way back in,
I'll have them throw
in a couple of liters

of old fashioned root beer
and some Cinnastars.

They're like Cinnadots,
they're just pointy.

They're good.
They're not great.

But I can get them,
free of charge.

I'll be right back.

You're not going anywhere.

You've just become
my next hostage.

GUS: Why does he keep
separating everybody?

Jules is dating
an old SWAT guy?

We are in a hostage
situation, Shawn!

You don't get that?
I do get it.

What I don't get
is the bulletproof vest
over the shirt, what is that?

I'm telling you,
something's not
right with this guy.

I mean, he makes us
take our shoes off.

Who does that? Why?

It's a way
of containing people.

You know, slowing
them down and whatnot.

So we can't run away
when he starts shooting us!

He's gonna start killing us
off one by one. Oh, my God!

Would you please relax?
Clearly, I have a handle
on the situation.

A handle? A handle?
You mouthed off to him and
got yourself taken hostage!

Of course I did.
That was my plan all along,

you sweet dollop
of spicy goodness.

I had to get myself
in there, so I could see
what I'm dealing with.

I have this feeling that
we are not dealing with
the person they think we are.

Why would a bank robber
keep his safety on?

So help me out. Think.

What do you remember
seeing the moment that
the robbery went down?

Features? Noses?
Maybe a chin?

I did see a chin,
a beautiful one.

A glorious one.

There's a good chance
she's over 100.

Are you sure you've
thought this through?

Not her, Shawn!

SHAWN: Oh!

I've had a lot of time
to think in here, Shawn.

And I've realized
some things about life.

It's been two hours.

Yes, but two hours
hostage time.

Things happen fast
in here, Shawn.
Life is fleeting.

And I need to live it.

I need to say the things
I'm feeling and act on those
feelings before it's too late.

And so do you.

Okay.

In other news...
Phil! Phil!

What are you...
What are you doing?
You wanna get yourself shot?

What?

Sorry. Nothing! Our bad.

You just go back
to your whole robbering thing.

I need to potty.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, everyone.

I downed an Orange Julius
right before I was
taken captive

and it went right through me.

I need to potty, okay?
I know my body,

and I know my stomach,
and this could
get really ugly.

All right.
All right, all right.
All right, don't anybody move.

I'm watching you.
I'm just gonna be right here.
Don't move.

You know I'm not really
a regular person, right, Phil?

What does that mean?

'Cause I tried
once and failed.

I'm just too unique
and interesting.

The French call it du fromage,
which, loosely translated,
means "of cheese.' '

The truth is,
I'm actually a psychic,
a professional one.

And I am getting a major
reading right in here.
You are?

(EXCLAIMS)
There it goes again.

What? What's it saying?
It's saying that you
are a middle child.

Yes, yes, I am!

It is also saying that
you are not a bank robber.

You know this?
Yes. Very much so.

There is something else
at play here, Phil.

Something nefarious
and also evil.

Oh, God!

You do know!

All right! Okay.
I can't keep up this
ruse any longer.

Please, how's my wife?
Your wife?

Yes, is she scared?

Is she scared? Uh...
Yes, she is scared.

Oh, my God.
Joanna, I am so sorry.

Can you, can you get
a message to her?

Yes. I believe I can, yes.

Joanna. Joanna.
Listen, Joanna, this morning

I was confronted by a man,
I don't know who,

and he told me
that he had kidnapped you
and was holding you somewhere

and if I didn't walk
into this bank right then

and get him these diamonds
and drop them in a mailbox

down the road,
he was gonna kill you.

I screwed up.

And I don't know
how to get out of this,
honey, I'm so sorry.

Oh, wow.

Phil, that
was something.

I mean, it was just
really jam packed
with information.

It was also
a little breathy.
Oddly soothing.

She said not to worry.
Everything is going
to be okay.

But how?
You don't have to...

Okay. But how?

I mean, I feel like
I'm being watched,

by the cops,
but by someone in here.

Phil, I will help you,
but you have to trust me.

I am working with
the police department.

I know who all
the players
are out there.

I will get you out
of this bank

and I will find out
where your wife is.

But you have to let me
lead this negotiation.

Do you think
you can do that?

I think so.

Okay, here's the plan.
First, keep up
the crazy-guy routine.

We need that.
All right.

But do not speak
to anyone here,
unless I am with you.

Secondly, you're gonna
have to give me some privacy.

I wasn't kidding
about the Orange Julius.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Luntz, here.

I have some info for you.
Stubbins is not behind this.

Someone...

Look, Spencer, the first
thing you got to realize

about these guys is that
they will try to manipulate
anybody they can

to get out of there alive.

I think that you have
interfered and screwed
up enough, don't you?

Why don't you find yourself
a quiet little corner in there
and lay low. Copy?

But I'm telling...

(SIGHS)

Kenny, I need
to talk to you!

Yes, sir!
What's up, sir?

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Lhasa apsos.

I have an idea that might
put you back front
and center on this case.

I'm listening.

Stubbins isn't
behind the robbery.

Somebody kidnapped his wife
and put him up to it.

Spencer, you know that sounds
a little nutsy, right?

What do you have to lose?
Just send a couple
black and whites out

to look for the wife
and see what blows back.

How can you
be so sure that...

(FLUSHING)
What was that sound?
Spencer?

Hey, McNab!

Yes, sir?

I've got something
I'm gonna send you out on.

Okay.

PHIL: What are we doing
in the bank manager's office?

I've taken the liberty
of putting together
a list of demands

that you can
give to Luntz.

Demands?
Yup.

Yeah, we're gonna
call out there and you're just
gonna read these off to him.

"My demands, by Phil.

"An airplane to take
me wherever I want.

"Tour bus, blue, with full
tank of gas and groupies.' '

That's nonnegotiable.

"$5,000
in unmarked bills.' '

This is a huge list.
What if they won't get
me any of this stuff?

I don't expect them to, Phil.

It's just to buy us time,

so that we can figure
out who in here
has put you up to this.

"A zip-line pulley system
used to transport
deliciously flavored snacks

"and such from one
location to another.' '
What is this?

Look, just call out
to Luntz, okay?

And remember, I need
to speak to him first.

SHAWN: What do you know
about this guy,
other than his name?

LUNTZ: We know that his
house was foreclosed on.

Luntz, it's Phil.

Hey there, friend.
I was wondering why
I haven't heard from you.

Well, I am going
to put Shawn... Spencer?
Shawn Spencer on the phone.

He will be negotiating on
my behalf from here on in.

No, no, Phil.
Don't do that.
That's a mistake.

This is between
you and me...

Hey, Cam, it's Shawn.
What's up, buddy?

(SIGHS) Spencer,
put Stubbins
on the phone. Now!

(CHUCKLING) Eeh, that's...
That's gonna be
a little awkward.

I'm not really sure
how to put this,
and bear with me

'cause this is my first
hostage negotiation.

But it would appear
that I am, in fact,
making the demands now.

So, why don't you go ahead
and put Detective O'Hara
on the phone, please.

Why in the world
would I do that?

Oh, I don't know,
isn't the timbre of my
voice telling you why?

It's Spencer.

Shawn, are you all right?

Jules, how serious
is this thing with you
and Luntz, really?

(SIGHING) I am so not
having this conversation
with you right now.

Is he standing next to you,
sniffing your hair? Huh?
Is he listening to me?

Shawn, half the Santa Barbara
Police Department can hear us.

Okay, fine, you're right.
I'm sorry, I don't know
what I was thinking.

Just answer me this.

Does he have those
older guy boobies,

that sort of droop
at the ends?

Okay, I'm hanging up
on you now.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
I'm putting Phil...
I'm putting Phil on for Luntz.

Hey there, buddy,
you there?
Yeah.

Okay. First, I need a plane.

(CHUCKLES)

(WOMAN CHATTERING
ON POLICE RADIO)

Oh, gosh.

Shh.

(WHISPERING)
This bank sucks.

Wait a minute,
you're the bank manager.

Yes, I'm Nathaniel Gresling.

Do you recall rejecting
a small business loan

for a zip-line snack
transportation system,
calling it, and I quote,

"Fiscally irresponsible"?
Shawn...

Yes, I do.

Well, Mr. Nathaniel Gresling,

this little task
of retrieving the Mini Oreos
took me 14 seconds.

Zip-line?

(IMITATES WHOOSHING)
Five.

Fiscally irresponsible? Nay!

I call that my
fiscal obligation

to my shareholders,
namely, Gus here.

Shawn!
Look,

I'm sorry, you think
that was all my decision?

I'm just a dupe
for the upper management.

I don't have the power
you think I do.

We understand, Mr. Gresling.

I'm still a little
fuzzy on the details.

Do you remember what
happened this morning,

when Mr. Stubbins
came into the bank?

I remember him
entering the bank
and he approached me.

I was busy with a customer,
but he caught my attention.

He asked me to take him
to the safety deposit vault,
which I did.

GUS: Hmm.

GRESLING: Once inside
the vault he drew his gun.

How do you suppose he knew
about those diamonds?

The diamonds
were deposited in that
particular box one week prior.

I very distinctly remember
Mr. Stubbins
being in the bank that day.

How do you distinctly
remember that?

Well, the gentleman who
deposited the diamonds
was a very wealthy customer,

who management considers
to be a VIP client.

Therefore, I'm instructed
to treat him as such.

Right.

Mr. Stubbins
was in the bank before

to get to his safety deposit
box, but I skipped him over.

That never feels good.

He was very upset.
He complained.

I felt bad for him
and maybe this
was my mistake,

but I told him
that the gentleman

was depositing some very
valuable merchandise.

Oh.

Therefore, he knew
about the diamonds.

Right.

Don't beat yourself up, man.
It's not your fault.

Thank you very much.

(SIGHS)

God.

Nothing is agreeing
with me today.

Excuse me.
I'm gonna have to

take care
of some more business.

Phil, buddy.
What are you doing?

They're going to meet
all my demands.

Seriously? Even the plane?

Yeah.

What about the snack line?

Yeah.

They wanted me to come
take a look at the bus.
It's not blue. Is that okay?

Yeah.

You have a shot, take it.

(ALL SCREAMING)

SNIPER O VER WALKIE-TALKIE:
Negative on the target, sir.

How did you miss?

He just fell out of my scope.
Very strange.

Free hugs. Who's next?

Well, we're still coming
to you from outside
the National Savings Bank

where the hostage situation
has escalated.

Shawn Spencer,
psychic detective

for the Santa Barbara
Police Department,
is now inside the bank.

And is not only a hostage...
You got to be kidding me.

... he appears to be calling
the shots on behalf
of the now named assailant,

Phillip Stubbins.

Oh, this can't be good.

(GROANING)

Dude, don't even
sit by me right now.

They already hate me
for the phone thing,

I don't need them to know
I'm friends with the guy that
kept them from being rescued.

Okay, you know something,
maybe before you admonish me
with that tone of voice,

you'd like to hear
my insanely good news.

What?

As a sign of cooperation,

Phil and I
are going to release
a hostage, you happy now?

Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes!

Okay.

I knew you'd get me
released! Thank you!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

Dude, it's not you.

What?

Think about it
for a minute.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I'm a horrible person.

There's older people
here and women.

Shawn, are you ready?

Phil, I will be with
you in one minute.

What? You are the hostage
being released?

Gus...
I can't believe this!

I have a hunch about where
Phil's wife is being held.

I think it's directly linked
to a list of foreclosed
houses in the area.

And I have to check it out.
Don't you see?
It's got to be me!

Just figure this out
and get me out of here

before there's a red
laser light shining
on my forehead.

And be careful, Shawn.

I will, buddy.

Oh, and, Shawn,
I just want you to know
that no matter what happens,

I care about you
and I appreciate you.

And, well,

I love you, Shawn.

Okay, buddy, I hear you.

You know I'm gonna be back
in like a half an hour, right?

Wow, that is a tight hug.
All right.

All right.

Okay.

Okay, I'm pretty sure
Gresling is our guy.

You are?
Yeah.

This morning when you
walked into the bank,

you didn't find him,
he found you.

His hands were quicker
than your gun.

What?

Just stay away from him,
say nothing.

Do not pick up
the bank line.

Do not field any calls
until I return. Okay?

All right.

Shawn, I love my wife.

I know you do, man.

(CROWD CHEERING)

MAN: You did it!
All right, go get him!

All right, put him
in a holding van,
I wanna debrief him.

No, no. No way, Luntz.

This is our guy,
any debriefing
is gonna be done by us.

No, this is
my investigation.

Well, guys, guys,
I appreciate you arguing over
me, but let me just point out,

I'm not wearing briefs.

Commander Luntz, Mr. Spencer
is in our department,
so we'll debrief him first,

but we'll share any
information that we gather.

Hands off.

Shawn! Shawn!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dad?

Hurry up.

What are you doing down here?

Look, I don't know
what you and Gus have
gotten yourselves into,

but I came down
here to warn you.

Warn me of what?

This guy doing
the negotiating,
he's done negotiating.

Meaning?
He's getting ready
to take this guy out.

Yeah, Dad, I know.
He already took a shot.

Yes, but Shawn,
he's getting ready
to go in with tear gas.

I've seen it before.
It's not pretty.

(SIGHING) How much
time do I have?

I don't know. Hour, tops.

(SIGHS) All right.
Thanks, Dad.

Shawn, you be careful.

All right.

(ALL WHOOPING)

Hi, Shawn Spencer.
Thanks for coming out.
It means a lot.

HENRY: Shawn!

WOMAN: Call me.

Look, Lassy, I am
telling you that Stubbins
is not behind this

and I know at the very
least that Gresling,
the bank manager, is involved.

It's a moot point. He's
gonna do what he's gonna do.
There are hostages in there.

I know that,
my best friend
is one of them.

If we can get out of here
and find this guy's wife,

we can show that
the kidnapping
thing holds water.

Look, I am breaking about
50 codes of police procedure

just by talking
to you about this.

Ah, the code!
That is your biggest problem.

Oh, it's my problem?

Yeah, just once,
could you grab life

by the little Lassiters
and follow your instincts?

I know you don't
like my methods,
I know you don't like me.

But we are pressed for time
and I am telling you,
I am vibing like crazy.

Can we screw protocol
and get the hell out of here?

You take shotgun.

You are so sexy right now.

(INAUDIBLE)

Where are you going?

I'm sorry.
But you're not the only one
here who has a job to do.

Wait, are we
still on for tonight?

CARLTON: All right,
where am I driving?

SHAWN: Just head
down to State Street.

Then you're gonna
be making a left on Laporte.

Yes, left.
I'm being drawn there
by the wife now.

All right, Jules,
give me one good reason,

why you find
this guy attractive.
Shawn!

You can't give me one?
I can think of many.

Is one of them that
you're looking forward
to giving him

sponge baths
in the near future?

I happen to find his age
and his maturity appealing.

He's distinguished
and virile.

And most importantly,
he knows who he is.
And that is attractive.

You two know
I'm in the van, right?

Here! Stop here.

This is it.
She's being held
right in there.

All right, Spencer.
You stay put.

I will not be
responsible for you.

O'Hara, we go on three.
You ready?

One, two...

Can I say it? Let me say it.

Hey.

(SOFTLY) Shawn,
get back in the car,
this could be dangerous!

I will, but I have
to tell you something.

Shawn, get back in the car!
Go out with Luntz.

What?
I want you
to go out with Luntz.

Shawn! What are you
trying to pull?

I'm not trying
to pull anything.

I just want you
to be happy.

So, if you think this guy
can make you happy

or even if you're not sure
and there's a tiny part
of you that thinks that

there might be a chance
for that, I think you owe
it to yourself to go for it.

Thank you, Shawn.
You're welcome.

When are you supposed
to go out next?
Tonight, actually...

Wow! That's so fast.

Where's he gonna take you?
Mario's.

Mario's?
That place is a little
stuffy, don't you think?

I like their bread.

Clear!
Clear!

Split! Spencer, what the hell
are you doing?
I told you to stay in the car!

If I'd stayed in the car,
I wouldn't be able to tell you

that someone just took off
running that way
through the yard!

They're gone.

CARLTON: I'll call in
a perimeter request,
get canine down here.

You wanna help
me with this gag?

Yeah.

(SNIFFLING)

Hello, Joanna.
I have a message
from your husband.

I'm gonna try to make
contact one more time
and then that's it.

Prepare to go
in with the gas.

(PHONE RINGING)

You, come on.
What do you want?

Come on. Right now. Right now.
Why? What do you want?

Oh!
Don't move.

Don't talk! Look at the floor!

Look at the floor!
Come on! Right now.

What?
Right now. In here.
In here. Get in there.

What?

(GRUNTS)

You have my wife!
What are you talking about?

You know where she is.
Tell me where she is.

I don't know
what you're talking about.
You know where she is,

tell me where she is.
I swear. You're crazy!

Where's my wife?

GRESLING: I don't know.

I'm gonna shoot
you right now!
Where is my wife?

All right, Mrs. Stubbins,
what can you tell us about
the man that kidnapped you?

Well, there were
actually two men.

Two? Are you sure?

(GRUNTING)
Where's my wife?

(GRUNTS)

I was blindfolded,
but through a crack
in the bottom,

I was able to make out
two pairs of feet.

I didn't see much, but I know
one of them was wearing a pair
of brown wingtip shoes.

I got it.
The other one's in the bank.

I got to call Phil
and warn him.

(PHONE RINGING)

(GUN COCKING)

That's it, men,
it's go time.

Hit him with the tear gas,
and go in on my call.

(SWAT TEAM CLAMORING)

SWAT OFFICER:
Watch your back! Stay there!
Hold your men!

JULIET: Morgan Phelps
is the second man
inside the bank.

Canine caught the guy
running away from
the house who gave him up.

But I don't get
the bank manager.

Gresling knew the bank
was gonna be robbed?

He planned the whole thing
from the beginning.

He knew that his VIP client
had dropped off the diamonds.

The diamonds
were deposited in that
particular box one week prior.

He figured this was
his chance to score big,
so he contacted Morgan Phelps.

JULIET: Who has a rap sheet
as long as my arm.

So, why didn't Phelps just
steal the diamonds himself?

They didn't need
a professional bank robber

because Gresling would
basically just be handing
the diamonds over.

And Phil was a perfect mark.

They could put him
at the bank on the day
the diamonds were delivered.

That, plus the back taxes
and the recent foreclosure

made him seem like
a really desperate guy
who needed cash in a big way.

So Phelps plants himself
in the bank to make sure
everything goes smoothly

and then finds himself
caught as a hostage
when the whole deal goes sour.

I'll keep trying Luntz,
but I'm pretty sure
he's blocked all calls

not coming from
inside the bank.

We need to get back there
before he goes in.

Luntz! Have your
guys grab Gresling,
the bank manager.

Take him into custody.
He's in on it.

We're looking for Phelps.
Who?

Phelps.
Have you accounted
for all the hostages?

We're counting bodies now.
It's a mess out here.

SHAWN: All right.

There's no wing tips.
Phelps is gone.

He must've taken off
somewhere. When did
you last see him?

We were being held
in the back room.

I know where Phelps is.

Where?
He's in the sewer.

He's in the sewer system!

That's ridiculous.
Is it, Luntz?

All right, I do know
this much. If someone were
to access the sewer system

out back it would dump them
almost anywhere in the city.

Luntz, I'm a psychic,

you're just gonna
have to trust me.
Plus, listen to my voice.

It's even. It's steady.
No vibrato.

Gus, quick!
Help me boost Lassy
up to the ceiling.

Phelps is inside
one of these ducts.

What? Then what happened
to the whole psychic
sewer vision thing?

Lassy, do we really have time
to answer these questions?

Now, come on,
just give me one
of those size 12 narrows.

Give me the other!

(GRUNTING)

(CARLTON GRUNTING)

Freeze!

Come here!

I got him!

Good work, partner!
We'll grab back-up.

Partner? Uh, excuse me?
What was that about?

Well, you got to admit,
it's better than a little boy
cat or a little girl cat.

Not appreciated, Shawn.

But, look at you,
man, surviving
a bank hostage crisis

and still looking all
"Poitier on a hot day.' '

What?

Go ahead,
slap me in the face.

Tell me they
call you "Mr. Tibbs.' '

I'm not doing that.
Come on,
it'll make you feel better.

They call me, Mr...
I'm not doing that.

(LAUGHING) Look at you.
You were one word away.

Come on.
What do they call you?

Can we get in the car?

They call you, what?

They call you, Mr...

(LAUGHS)

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Jules!

Hi.

What are you...

Evidence turned
these over to me.
I think they're Gus's shoes.

So, I just...
I thought I'd bring them
by and drop them off.

That is very sweet of you.

You can burn them.
What?

He was devastated
the whole way home.

He cried about them already,
on my shoulder, like a baby.

I just put him down.
He's resting now.

So what is this?
What am I seeing here?

This is the "returning
footwear to a friend" outfit?

Oh, Cameron had
to cancel tonight.

No.

Yeah.
No!

Yeah, he said he took,
like, four showers,

but he still couldn't
get that sewer smell
out of his skin.

Ah! Jeez, that damn sewer.

We wrapped everything
up so nicely so that
you guys could...

But you know what?
The man followed a hunch.

And that's all
you can ask from a guy.

Hey, follow your hunches.
And he did.

I'm sorry it didn't
work out for you kids.

But you gave it
a real shot,
a fair shot.

Shawn, I'm seeing
him tomorrow night.

Really? Wow, that's so fast
on the rescheduling.

It's... No conflicts
either way? Huh.

Yeah, we'll see.

Well, I should go.

Hey, have you...
Have you eaten?
No.

Well, I can't offer
anything as fancy
as Mario's, but...

What do you think
of a Ball Park Frank
and a stroll on the boardwalk?

It is golden time.
I've been told, I...

I look pretty good
in that lighting.
Really?

It's true.
Is that right?

(WHIRRING)

(CHUCKLES)

They plump when you cook them.

They plump?

Literally.

As the temperature rises,
the wiener absorbs
all additional moisture.

Causing it to double.
Sometimes even triple
in diameter.

Triple? Wow!

In between the lines
there's a lot of obscurity

I'm not inclined
to resign to maturity

If it's all right
then you're all wrong

But why bounce around
to the same damn song?

You'd rather run
when you can't crawl

I know, you know
That I'm not telling the truth

I know, you know
They just don't have any proof

Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend

Your worst inhibitions
tend to psych you out
in the end

I know, you know

I know, you know