Play of the Week (1959–1961): Season 1, Episode 3 - Burning Bright - full transcript

(relaxed guitar music)

♪ I gave my love a cherry ♪

♪ That had no stone ♪

♪ I gave my love a chicken ♪

♪ That had no bone ♪

♪ I told my love a story ♪

♪ That had no end ♪

♪ I gave my love a baby ♪

♪ With no crying ♪

(applauding)

(upbeat trumpet music)



- Come in, Friend Ed.

- Where's Mordeen?

- She went to sit with Liz Malloy's baby.

Liz Malloy's gone off to send
a money order to her son Tom.

Her son Tom, "My son Tom."

He's in college you know,
I'm sure I've told you

that this is the first time
that Mrs. Malloy has a son

Tom in college, you've heard
about that haven't you?

You've heard about it 20,000 times.

- Well you can't blame her, Joe Saul.

- No, I don't.

I suppose if you've got
a son Tom in college,

there's a little fringe of
God almighty on your head.

Oh, I'm glad for her, she's a nice woman.



- Look Joe Saul, you're nervous.

- No.

- That's a nervy thing you're doing there.

- I didn't even know I was
doing it but you're right.

I got a rustle in me, a little
itching rustle under my skin.

- I've seen it coming on you.

It's no surprise to me except it's late.

I wonder why it's so late?

I remember when your Kathy died.

You were strong when you lost

your wife, you weren't nervy then

and it's eight months since cousin

Will missed the net,
you weren't nervy then.

Victor's a good partner, isn't he?

You said he was.

This isn't the first time a Saul has

missed a net in all the generations.

What's the matter with you, Joe Saul?

You're putting an itch
in the air around you.

Like a cloud of gnats on a hot evening.

- Oh Victor's all right, maybe
even better than cousin Will.

It's what you get used to.

I could feel the tuning of cousin Will.

I was breathing in his pulse.

Cousin Will was my blood and my being.

We're the products of 1,000
years, the end products.

Well I suppose I can get used
to Victor but he's a stranger.

His blood is not my blood,
he has no ancestry in it.

- Is Mordeen made up?

- Sure or she wouldn't have gone out.

- Is it your nerve Joe Saul,
do you fear for your hands?

I've seen that happen, I
knew a man once going blind.

He used to run around looking at color,

looking and staring so he could remember.

He was afraid he might forget what

red and blue were like when he was blind.

Do your hands bother you?

- I don't think so.

Why should they?

They've never slipped.

- Do I have the right
to ask you a question?

- Always.

- Is there any trouble
between you and Mordeen?

- Oh no, no.

- That's a fine girl
Joe Saul, a fine wife.

- Fine.

What a loaded word.

Mordeen is fire,

Mordeen is tenderness.

Why, she puts loveliness
around her like a light

so that everyone near
her shines in reflection.

Even I feel beautiful when she is near,

ugly and aching when she is away.

- What a sweet thing to hear.

So many men even when they feel it

hide it like a fault or
bring it out, shame-faced.

You made me forget what
I came to tell you.

I'm having a birthday party for the twins.

They wanted only kids but they asked for

you and for Mordeen, can
you come to the party?

- Did they really ask for us?
- They did.

And will you bring some
little twist of a present?

- I have some ready there.
- Oh, those?

You'll spoil my twins.

- Presents never spoil
me, I like presents.

- So do I, so do the twins

and will you keep your hands still?

I can take some of the itch
from you if you'll let me.

I held you weeping when your Kathy died.

I lifted cousin Will off the ring rim.

I stood left hand with you to Mordeen.

I think I know your sickness but

you've got to say it first, Joe Saul.

- I think you do know.

I wonder if Mordeen knows?

- Will you say it then?

For your piece of mind, maybe
there's some kind of answer.

- I wonder if it's old age coming on me?

They say old men think
back, I think of old times.

I think of grandfather talking.

That's after his hands were weak,

the timing gone and the
certainty of his eye.

He'd drink wine in the afternoon

when it didn't matter anymore.

He'd wrestle me on the training mat.

Sometimes when we were resting,
grandfather would talk.

He did a lot of reading, that
old man and more thinking.

Maybe he made up things
but we believed them.

You never knew him, did you?
- No, I never knew him.

- Oh, we were real proud kids.

One hip and our chest
stook out and we believed

everything he said because
he was old Joe Saul.

I'm named for him.

He used to tell us that we were nature

spirits once you know,
in trees and streams.

We lived in the wind, in the black storms.

"That's what your grandads were," he said.

Remember how white his hair was?

Oh no, no you never saw him.
- No, I never saw him.

- Then he said,

"We were the first doctors
but witch-doctors."

We troubled the streams and
drove the thunder over the edge.

We jumped like the streams over rocks

and we sailed arms out like the wind.

We'd squat and listen on the training mat.

Old Joe Saul said then, "In Greece we wore

"high shoes and wooden
masks and we were Gods.

"And in Rome," he said,
"We tumbled in the red

"sands of the arena
after the blood had run.

"We juggled burning sticks in front

"of the setup crosses with their burdens.

"Then in the dark centuries," he said,

"We laughed and played in the marigolds

"and we were the only gay in
that laughter-starving time.

"From then on," he said,
"Everybody knew us."

- It's a strange telling for children but

would you sometime tell that to the twins?

- Oh, I'll tell them.

Old Joe Saul would stand there tall,

one finger out like a dry stick.

He had a full head of hair
and every tooth his own.

He'd stand there a white cloud.

"Kings," he'd say, "Princes, Astors,

"Vanderbilts or Tudors, Plantagenets,

"Pendragons for that matter,

"who knows their great-granddads
with any certainty?

"Two ancient families there are," he said.

"Known and sure and
recognized and only two.

"Clowns and acrobats, all
the rest are newcomers."

Old Joe Saul would scowl down on us

and sitting there and he'd say

"You never let out a baby on the fingers,

"a child on a mat and a boy on the bar.

"Have kids," he'd say,
"Have lots of kids."

- There's your poison, there it is.

Kathy had no child but Mordeen--

- It's been three years, three years.

- And you begin to think it's you.

- I don't know what it is, I don't know.

But a man can't die that way.
- Or a woman either.

- A man can't scrap his bloodline,

can't snip off the thread
of his immortality.

It's not just my memory,

there's a trust imposed on
me to hand my line down.

You've given your bloodline
to the twins but I--

- [Ed] Maybe you should
go to doctors, Joe Saul.

Maybe there's some kind of
remedy you haven't thought of.

- Oh, what do they know?

There's some kind of dark
curse on me, I know it.

- And you alone?

Do you feel singled out, pinned up alone?

It's time to sing this trouble
out into the air and light

Joe Saul else it's gonna grow
in your mind like a cancer.

Rip off that cover, let it out.

Maybe you're not alone
in your secret cave.

- I know, I suppose I'm digging

like a mole in my own darkness.

Of course I know it could happen

to anyone at any time or place.

Every day I have this secret
locked up in loneliness.

- Well now that I know,
I'll try to think and help.

- I wonder what's keeping Mordeen?

That's a long time to send a money order.

Ah baby, Mrs. Malloy is
too old to have a baby.

She's too old, she's 45.
- Ah, but she had it.

I'm on.

I didn't mean that Joe Saul,
not the way it sounded.

- [Joe] Mean what?

- I heard it in my ears the way it

sounded when I said "But she had it."

I didn't mean it that way.
- I didn't hear it that way.

You're on, Friend Ed.

- [Ed] Run Mordeen, he's waiting for you.

- Oh, that baby Joe Saul.

He crows, he really crows
and rocks back and forth.

He grabbed a shaft of
sunlight with his hand and you

should have seen his face
when his hand went right

through it, amazed and
disappointed at the same time.

- Have you seen Victor?

Is he ready?

- No.

I haven't seen him.

What's the matter Joe
Saul, aren't you well?

- I'm all right.

- You're angry.

You must be angry, you
have got the blackest eyes.

But when you're angry, they
have a red glow in them.

Are you angry with me, Joe Saul?

- I'm not angry, no not angry.

But still angry, angry
at time when you're away.

Irritated with the minutes
when you're not with me.

- Ooh, I like that.

It's good to be missed,
I came back as soon

as I could but it's good to
be away for a little while

because then I know how well
and strongly I love you.

- I get frightened sometimes
and my mind plays tricks.

Whispers that you do not exist.

Sneers that you've gone away.

Whines to me that there is no Mordeen.

It's a cruel and mischievous game.

- Oh no, it's a child's game
to make nice things better.

I remember holding a piece of white cake

with black frosting and
pretending it wasn't mine.

That was to make it
nicer when I tasted it.

Oh there you see, that's better.

Now the red's gone out of your eyes.

You have got the blackest eyes,

like new split coal, that black.

But there's trouble behind
your eyes, Joe Saul.

- No.

- Is it Victor?
- No.

- Is it something that I
have done or failed to do?

- Oh no, it's--
- Yes?

- It's what every love-ridden man

wonders about and wants to know.

Am I a good husband?

A good lover to you?

- Oh my dear.

Wonderful.

Gentle and fierce

and wonderful.

- My longing tears me like a whip

and my joy roars out like summer thunder.

Sometimes I think my chest
will burst with love for you.

See, I'm harsh breathing like
a boy, I'm so full of you.

- Oh, what a princess I am become.

Can I tell you something?

It may sound like a vanity but it's not

but when I was a stringy,
lonely little girl

torn between the hope and
hopelessness of growing,

I knew then, I really knew
that one day this silver and

green world would be carried
to me on a little gold plate.

Oh, I love you Joe Saul.

(relaxed guitar music)

- [Joe] Mordeen, my darling.

- Well.

Hi.

- [Joe] Why aren't you ready, Victor?

What's that?

- I just came from the
doctor, I sprained my wrist.

It's only a strained tendon,
the doctor says three days.

- [Joe] I'm sorry, how did it happen?

- I was playing, just playing
around, touch football.

That's all, just playing and George

put out his foot, he didn't mean it.

- Playing.

You went to school in a
little town, didn't you?

Athlete, half-mile, pole
vault, tumbling team.

Then you ran away to the
circus just for the fun of it.

- [Victor] No need to get
mad, I couldn't help it.

I told you it was an accident.

- It isn't that you didn't know,

it's that you could never know.

If you were a musician,

you'd bat a tennis ball with your violin.

If you were a surgeon,

you'd sharpen pencils with your scalpel.

- [Victor] Don't shout at me.

- It sounds like that to you, does it?

You're younger, stronger, quicker,

maybe even surer than cousin Will.

But now I know what it is.

Whatever you do is an
accident of youth and muscle.

You haven't learned to respect

your tools and your profession.

Profession, you've made it a trade

and you haven't even learned your trade.

You didn't hang clinging to your

father's forefingers,
you've got no blood in it.

- What's the matter, feeling old?

- What?
- What's the matter?

Jealous, afraid you can't
keep up with the young girl?

Is she too much for you?

- I'll go and report that we
can't go on for three days.

(slap)

(upbeat trumpet, violin music)

(relaxed guitar music)

♪ The summer sun ♪

♪ Burns the ground ♪

♪ In the heat of life ♪

♪ Does love go 'round,
does love go 'round ♪

- I couldn't hit an old man.

A man old enough to be my father.

You notice I didn't
raise a hand against him.

He knew he was safe.
- He can't hear you.

- I wouldn't care if he could,

I said the same thing right in his face.

- I saw what he did to you.

- I could break him with my hands.

- You're really afraid of him.

- How do you mean afraid?

I could tear him apart.
- Why didn't you then?

- Because he's...

I'll tell you why, because
I have respect for you.

Because I don't want any trouble to fight

him when there's a girl I'm in love with.

- [Mordeen] In love with?

- Yeah.

I try to keep it in, I want to be fair but

he hit me in the face.

- And you hit him below the
belt, that's how fair you are.

- I didn't lay a hand on him.

Oh.

Oh, I see what you mean.

Yeah that got him, didn't it?

I don't have to hit him,

I can just stand back and
punch him with a word.

He's old and you can't get cured of that.

- And besides, you respect and love me.

- Ow.

You hit hard in the clenches.

But I don't wanna fight with
you, what would I gain by that?

I respect and admire you and Joe Saul

more than anybody in the world.

That's why it hurt so much when

he hit me the way you'd hit a dog.

Hey, let's start fresh Mordeen.

I'll apologize to Joe Saul

and I'm sorry I lost myself, Mordeen.

- I can see how that is.

Oh, I've had things
like that happen to me.

Things that made me dumb and sick inside.

You see Victor, we're a whole
small world inside of a world.

We have a whole pattern in
life that there's not much

known about and lots of people,
oh, resent or are envious.

Makes us kind of proud
and afraid of strangers.

- To think of you growing up here.

- Oh I did though,

born in a sleeping car,
raised in the ring.

I rode in a howdah before I could walk.

- Why'd you marry Joe Saul?

- Why?

- Yeah, why?

A man 50 years old or nearly.

A man near finished
when you'd only started.

Why did you marry him?

- I married him because I loved him.

- That was three years
ago, do you love him now?

- Oh yes.

More.

Much more.

- Joe Saul must be like
a father in your mind.

(Mordeen laughing)

- [Mordeen] Oh no.

- I know more about women
than you give me credit for.

Hey isn't it true,

you don't have to answer me,
you don't have to say anything,

isn't it true that sometimes you wish,

maybe even crave

the hard arms of a young man?

The force, the body of a young man?

- No.

That's not true.

That's not true.
- I don't believe you.

I know more than that.

- No, I guess you really don't believe me.

Maybe that'll be your sorrow.

Maybe one day you'll wonder
what it is you've missed

and be only vaguely aware
of having missing something.

- I'm not a boy, I've been
around, I've known women.

- Happy women?

- When I got through with
'em, they were happy.

- For how long?

- They weren't happy until
they could have me again.

They always wanted me again.

- Of course and they always
wondered what they had missed.

Joe Saul knows one ingredient,
you haven't heard about it,

maybe you never will
but without it one day,

you'll go screaming silently and lost.

- [Victor] What is this ingredient?

- Affection.

You've never learned it,
perhaps you never will.

- We're all alike, men, women.

What are you telling me?

A bed's a bed, what's
this breathless thing?

- All alike.

Surely all alike, so that
every one that hammers

out a tune that's great
music and if one line

rhymes with another that's a great poem

and every dab on a
canvas is a great paint--

- [Victor] What are you getting at?

- You know I, I used to wonder why this

love seemed sweeter than
any I had ever known.

Better than most people know

and then one day the reason came to me.

There are very few great
anythings in the world

and I had one of the great and beautiful.

- If it's so great, why is he so nervous?

Why's he go stepping around
like a cat on hot rocks?

Why is his temper short

and the gray coming into his sick face?

Tell me that if it's so good.

- You do have a gift.

You know just where to put
the knife and how to twist it.

You don't know what
you mean but I do know.

I want to tell you something, Victor.

Maybe I'm telling myself
but I will do anything,

anything, anything to
bring content to him.

See you remember that, Victor.

- You're setting yourself high.

What makes you so special?

- Joe Saul.

- You're a woman like every
other woman, no more, no less.

You need what every
girl in the world needs.

A little bit of forcing maybe

so she can claim it wasn't her fault.

Maybe you need the back of the hand.

Maybe you need,

maybe you need me.

- Get out, get out!

I'll never tell him, I think
Joe Saul would kill you.

- I didn't do--
- Wouldn't be good for Joe

Saul to kill you, not good for him.

Even if they didn't catch him,

he'd carry a sourness all his life.

You're not worth that to him or to me.

Tell him you have to leave the show,

your mother died, anything but go.

- [Victor] You don't know what happened.

- Maybe I'll have to take
that sourness myself.

- [Victor] Nobody can
make me leave the show.

- All right but go now.

- Did you see all of that?
- Yes, I saw.

- And what do you believe?
- I believe what I saw.

- Do you think Joe Saul would?

- [Ed] I think he would want to

and if he couldn't, I
would try to make him.

- Victor has an instinct for

finding frail places and areas of pain.

He probes and feels like a
blind leech and he gets blood.

- Mordeen, Joe Saul
reported the act couldn't

go up and then he went to
a bar, he's getting drunk.

- I better go for him.
- Mordeen,

I want to talk to you.

- Please do Ed, there's
a cloud coming down.

- [Ed] Do you know what the cloud is?

- Yes.

Do you?
- Yes.

Will you tell me then,
can you have a baby?

- Yes.
- How do you know?

- The only way I could know, I know.

- [Ed] When did it happen?

- Five years ago.
- Does Joe Saul know?

- No no no, it was before.

It was dead and gone before Joe Saul.

- I can't understand it,

he's never been sick that I know of.

He's a twisted mass of strength and force.

- He wasn't once, he told me.

It was only the one time and when he

was a child, growing pains they called it,

his joints ached and fever racked him.

For a year he was whipped with pain.

- Could that be the reason?
- Oh yes, yes it could be.

It needn't be but it could.

Can't we tell him?

Could we bring this out in the open?

We need a baby, we could get

one adopted and then it would be ours.

Maybe if this thing was certain

and understood, the cloud would go away.

- I don't think you can tell him.

I wish you could but he can't
think beyond blood and line.

This is more than a thought in him.

- Oh, I know that but he is miserable,

hungry, starving for a child.

Oh, I know it's always
been but now it's frantic.

- Mordeen,

when the bodies of a man
and woman meet in love,

there is a promise sometimes so

deep buried that thought can't comprehend.

The sharp promise that a child may be

the result of this
earthquake, this lightning.

This each body promises the other.

But if one or the other knows,

knows beyond doubt that
the promise can't be kept,

the wholeness is not there, it's an act.

A lie, a uselessness,
a thing of no meaning.

- I know.

- How it is with a woman, I'm not sure

but with a man, perhaps he may feel free.

Perhaps a woman may feel wildly

free and lust without consequence

but in her tissues, there is
contempt for the sterile man

and very slowly she has
no need for him and her

senses turn away from the
dark double disappointment.

- Oh no, I do not think that is so with me

but I will do anything,
anything that my heart

or mind or body can conceive
to bring content to him.

- But once he knows,
knows beyond every hiding,

boding doubt that his seed is dead,

he won't permit you even to try.

His self-contempt will settle over him

and you won't be able to
find him in his gray misery.

- Well then what shall I do?
- Don't make him know.

It would be different if his mind

and energy could have
other kinds of children.

Poems, if he could rove in the stars of

mathematics or build a pattern
of music new and living,

he might survive but these
things he does not have

and most men do not.
- But he is dying.

He is not drunk now as
other men are drunk.

He is dying, what shall I do?

- Don't make him know.

- Suppose we were wrong,
suppose the fault were mine?

An organ disarranged or poison--

- You don't believe that, you know.

- Do you understand how I
love this man, Friend Ed?

- [Ed] I think I do, I hope I do.

- You know that I would protect him from

hurt if I were ripped and
burned in the process?

- That would be only a double burn--

- That I am capable of any
lie or cheat or violence,

any good or bad if I could
bring content and joy to him?

- I think you are but I don't believe

that it has the remotest
chance of succeeding.

- Well,

if I am not able to give him a child,

I am lost

and he is lost.

Do you know what I am considering?

- I do and it terrifies me.

- What if I were very careful,
if I were very clever,

don't you think that could be our answer?

- I can't advise you, I don't know.

- But if I don't do it,
what chance is there?

- I don't know, I can't
advise you, I might be wrong.

- Well then there are
only two other choices.

One, to tell him and try
to build the man again

and you say that I must not
do, the other is to do nothing.

- I know but I can't advise you,

I can't offer my responsibility.

I can't endorse your note of happiness.

Anything, anything else,
I wish I didn't know,

I wish I didn't even a thread
suspect what you are thinking.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

You are his friend.

I suppose I put too much
of a burden on friendship.

It's not a rope that can
stand that much strain.

I should have made the
pattern myself but I was,

I was lonely and unsure.

I thought that I needed some

strength outside of myself to help me.

Well, he would not like me
to see him drunk-bended.

Find him and stay with
him and when he's tired

past wakefulness, take
him to the sleeping car.

You'll find his night
things under the lower berth

and wind his watch,

see that his chest is
covered while he sleeps.

- [Ed] And you?

- Well, tell him that I have a little

headache and that I will walk for awhile.

Tell him I will come to him very soon.

- Mordeen, I'm afraid--
- I was,

I was more afraid than I had

ever been in a small, terrified life.

But I am not now.
- Then you will--

- No, don't.

If there is any wrong in what I am doing,

it will be my wrong and you
need not touch it or think it.

Hurry now Ed, find him.

Why did you come back?

- Did you think I'd be frightened away?

I want to square things off.

I followed Joe Saul into
town and then came back.

I waited for the clown to go.

I want to square some
things away with you.

- Oh, I'm sorry and ashamed of it.

I was going to try and find
you to tell you that I'm sorry.

- What changed you, then?

You have a fight with your old man?

He's getting drunk, you know.

Or did you know?

Pig drunk, I stood beside him in the bar

and he looked at me with juicy red eyes

and he didn't even know
me, that happy man.

That good old lover and his affection.

- Victor, I'm really sorry--
- What changed you then?

Did you find out that maybe I was right?

That maybe this love you thought

was love might be an imitation?

- No, not quite that.

- Well I came in to tell
you once and finally

what I think of that
stuff you were telling me.

I won't have any of it.

You were pretty tough, pretty sure.

You sit on the very peak
top of the dung heap

and look down on all the other chickens.

You're perfect and I'm filth.

But I'll tell you, I'm honest.

I'm not caught up in your stinking

cloud and I don't believe you are either.

- I'd like to explain--
- I'll explain to you.

I'm not afraid of Joe
Saul or the clown or you

but I'm leaving, I'm not running away.

Now get that and get it
straight, I'm leaving on my own.

- Victor, wait.
- Why should I wait?

- [Mordeen] I would
like to be your friend.

- It's a little late for that.

Your old man hit me in the face and if

that clown thinks he's frightened me away,

I'll set him straight on that before I go.

- Victor, don't go.

I would like to be your
friend, I mean that

and maybe the others would
too, maybe I could help.

- I don't

care about the others.

- Oh yes you do Victor, I think you do.

Listen Victor, I'd like
to tell you a story.

When I was a little girl I had a time

of sharp loneliness,
I guess everyone does.

Oh, I felt rejected so I took all my

pennies and I went out and bought gifts

and wrapped them up and
gave them to myself.

I thought that if the other children saw

how many gifts I got, they would know how

very popular I was and
want to be my friend.

But it didn't work.
- You're funny.

You always tell stories.

What's this one about?
- Listen Victor,

later an older girl got into trouble.

She sold a ring and well,
she was wary and afraid

of her own friends, so she
came to me and asked for help

and I helped her and it made
me feel warm and wanted.

It made me feel good that I could

give help where it was
so frantically needed.

- What's your story about?
- Well you see I thought that

if you could understand that I needed help

and help me, it would
be good for both of us.

- Now who would think you needed help?

I thought I was the one that needed help.

- I thought if you understood,
you would want to help me.

- [Victor] Well I'd do
anything for you, baby.

I'm sorry I was rough with you before.

I know better than that.

I guess I was scared of you.

I've gotten over that
now, maybe you've changed.

They say women and horses
know when a man is assured of

himself, they can tell no
matter how much you've lost--

- Well I hoped you would
understand, Victor.

- What a fool a man can be.

I hear the signals, I see
the lights and I'm just dumb.

I know a dame can't make the first move.

Let's go into town and have
dinner where we can talk.

- Dinner in town?
- Yeah, without Joe Saul

and his eternal friend, just me and you.

- All right.

- On the level?

- Yes.

- Then after dinner, I could rent a car

and we could go for a
drive, how would that be?

- How would what be?
- How about a drive?

What do you see?
- See?

I was just noticing how
black your eyes are.

- Don't you like it?

- Oh yes.

I like them.

I'd better go to the
sleeping car and get dressed.

I want to look nice.

We'd better not be seen
together, where shall I meet you?

- No,

I guess you won't stand me up.

I'll be waiting on the
corner of 12th and Main.

- Don't go out with me.
- Hey.

Don't worry about this.

It happens every day, we didn't invent it.

It's nobody's fault, it
can happen to anybody.

- Don't go out with me.
- Stop following me.

- Hurry it's him, quick get out.

- Stop following me, I want
you to get out, now get out.

- Easy Joe Saul, easy, now
go to bed, get some rest.

- I cannot sleep.

I'm dead.

My blood is cut off.

I have no son.

- You're not alone.

Perhaps on a farm somewhere there's a man

who cries for a child to
inherit his labor and his land.

You are not alone.
- What do I care about that?

I'm dead.

I have no son.

(relaxed guitar music)

♪ When autumn comes ♪

♪ And summer's gone ♪

♪ So does love burn ♪

♪ And life go on ♪

♪ Yes, life ♪

♪ Goes ♪

♪ On ♪

- You are not alone.

Perhaps on a farm someplace there's a man

who cries for a child to
inherit his labor and his land.

You are not alone.

(rooster crowing)

(dog barking)

Want a refill?
- Oh, thanks.

- It's getting to be so much paperwork

on a farm, a man hasn't
time to bring in a crop.

We should get a bookkeeper
to help you with it.

- When I can't keep the books

on my own farm, I'll give up farming.

I've been a farmer all my life,
I never did anything else.

I'm good at arithmetic,
there's just too much of it.

That's not all, I have to do everything

myself or at least see that it's done.

That's not the way you
and I grew up to farm.

- Isn't Victor working out?

- Oh he's a good enough worker,

he tries hard but he's got no blood in it.

Before the tractor killed cousin Will,

I could send him out to cultivate

and know that it would be done right.

Victor is a town boy, oh,

sometimes he does things
right but you can't be sure.

- Well things look pretty
good to me out there.

- Oh, they're all right.

But you know how it is with the old farm,

the way it was with cousin
Will and your father

and your grandfather, we do things right.

Maybe we don't know how
or why but they're right.

Now you can't be told about
the land or read about it.

It's got to be in the blood.

I'm not criticizing Victor, he tries hard

and most of the time he's right.

But I can't be sure, I've
always got to go and look.

- I know.

A funny thing happened at my

place yesterday morning at breakfast.

One of the twins, Al I think it was said

"I've got a feeling about
something I should do."

And Eddie said, "I know what it is,

"your green beans want poles."

Just like that as though

the beans had been calling out to him.

- That's what I mean,
they've got the blood.

You wouldn't have to go out and look at

a patch of corn if the
twins did the hoeing.

I don't know.
- Oh now, stop it Joe Saul.

Stop it, you're tearing at yourself.

- I have a nightmare sometimes,

I see this land I was born on

and in my nightmare, it
all goes back to fallow.

The sumac comes in in clumps
and then the forest trees.

This house molders until there's

only a chimney and cellar hole.

Then it all goes back to the way it was

when old Joe Saul pulled up on horseback,

took salt from the saddlebags and pepper,

tobacco, gunpowder and seed corn.

That's all he had, those and an ax.

He cut five trees and he planted the seed

corn with a pointed stick
and just look at it now.

Flat and sweet and black.

The way it shines when
the spring plow cuts in

and in 10 years, it could
be nearly the way it was.

Nobody to keep it up.

I have nightmares too about
strangers maybe from the town,

strangers that don't know
how to drain or dance--

- Stop it Joe Saul, you worry

yourself like a puppy with a pig's ear.

Go back to your paperwork,
stop mauling yourself.

Say, how's Mordeen?

- Well I don't know.

She's been sickly for a couple

of weeks but one thing worries me.

She's had a faint or two before but

never a word out of her, she's farm stock.

She'd get up and do her work

and never a complaint
or a shirker and now,

well I know that her stomach is upset

and she's a little dizzy
sometimes but she's different.

She went to the doctor yesterday.

She said he's told her that it was

nothing serious but she
had to take it easy.

You know it's funny,
she's almost la dee da.

This morning she said to me,

"Do you mind if I don't get up for awhile?

"I don't feel quite well."

- She'll be all right.

There's one thing I've
been meaning to ask you.

Does Victor seem to hold a grudge

for that bowling out you gave him?

- I don't think so, he's pretty
quiet, doesn't talk much.

Goes about his business and does his work.

Oh, I think maybe it did him good.

- I was a little worried,

I thought maybe you
shouldn't have hit him.

- I'm sorry about that, I lost my temper.

I told him I was sorry, I
think he's forgot all about it.

- It wasn't like you to hit
him, Joe Saul or any man.

- He said a thing, he said
a thing made me red mad.

Did you hear Mordeen stirring?

I thought I heard her.
- I guess she's up.

I should be going home.

With all the work I've
got to do on my own place,

I sit around your kitchen after sunup.

- Well let's have a fresh cup of

coffee, here I'll take your cup.

- Oh say, is your clock right?
- Always right.

Same as my radio, I don't know how

we even managed before we had that.

It's like a new person in the house.

Mordeen listens to it while she works.

- Good morning, Friend Ed.
- Morning.

- Feeling better, Mordeen?
- Oh yes, much better.

- You look fine to me.

- How beautiful a day.
- Growing with it.

Shall I get you a little breakfast?

There's oatmeal and crisp
bacon in the warmer.

- You get breakfast for me?

I should have got your breakfast.

Ah, but it's nice to hear you
offer Joe Saul, very nice.

Oh no, I don't want any breakfast.

- [Joe] Coffee then?

I'm just going to empty
the pot and make fresh.

How would you like a fresh cup of coffee?

- Oh no, oh but I'm not sick,

I'm just indulging myself I think.

- [Joe] That's the first time,
it's a new thing with you.

- Joe Saul, I--

- [Joe] Yes?

- I forget what I started to say.

- Well if you don't want
some, I'm not gonna make any.

Oh, I'd better though if
you're not feeling well

and Victor will be in for
his morning coffee soon.

- The doctor says I should
take it easy for awhile.

- [Joe] Well he said you were all right.

- Joe Saul,

I'm going to have a baby.

We are going to have a baby.

- Now it's all right.

Now it's all right.

You know I've heard it said
that in some parts of Europe,

they go out to the barns
and tell the cattle.

Well every form is good and every

ceremony now that the blackness is gone.

- Come out of your blackness, Joe Saul.

- It's all gone, Joe Saul.
- We have a child.

There's going to be a baby in this house.

There's going to be a
child playing in that dust.

There's going to be a
growing thing discovering

the sky and kicking the
chickens aside and finding eggs.

Oh, there'll be great questions asked

and answered, do you understand that?

Why, we'll rediscover
the whole world Mordeen.

Our child will lie cheek-flat, chest-flat

on the ground and his
toes will kick the dirt

and his ears will listen and
the earth will speak to him.

- You say him, how do
you know it'll be a boy?

- How do I know, what
do I care, boy, girl?

We have a child and it came from me

and it's a piece of me and
more, of all that I came from.

The pattern of me and the pattern of us.

Oh Mordeen, my sweet.

What dear words.

We have a child.
- What did you say?

- You heard, we have a child.

- [Ed] Well this calls for a celebration.

I'm going to make a party.

I'll get the twins and I'll buy ice cream

and whiskey and I'll even kill a turkey.

This is a day of great joy, Joe Saul.

- A party you say, well
I'll give the party.

- [Ed] Not with a party-tyer, Mordeen.

- Oh, what a fool I am
not to think of that.

What a party-tyer you are.
- Oh no, no I want a party.

A great laughing party full
of noise, violent and crazy.

That's what I want, Joe Saul.

- We'll have the greatest
party in the world.

We'll have music, we'll dance

the floorboards into the ground.

We'll kick the doors and windows out

and I'll tear off the roof
and I'll wear it for a hat.

(laughing)

- [Ed] I've never seen
you like this, Joe Saul.

- Well I've never had reason.

- [Ed] Well reason or no,
I've got chores to do.

They don't wait for reason, good or bad.

- I hereby declare a holiday.

I here declare that chores do not exist.

Let the twins do 'em
or let 'em not be done.

- No, I have to--
- Argue with me and with

the flick of my hand,
your farm will disappear.

Victor in the cabinet, get the
whiskey and get the glasses.

You want a party, it begins now.

This empress,

this queen,

this mother

wants a party.

Well,

she has it.

- Oh I'd like to but I
don't think I should.

Oh very well, just a little one today.

- Take gentle care, I order
you to lift no burden.

To encourage no weakness.

You are to come to me, me if
there's any work too heavy,

too long, too hard or
too tiresome to be done.

Do you hear me?

I order this.
- And I will obey

and it is a very pleasant thing.

But I am not as fragile
as you would think.

You know there's a frightening

endurance about expecting women.

Come on have your drinks,
start the party, drink.

- [Ed] Well this is a strange

and pleasant way to get
a drink, to the mother.

- Oh that's mine, that's the
toast that I should have made.

- Well that's simply fixed,

we'll drink it again, I'll cooperate.

- To the mother.

And now I want to drink to the child.

- I'm beginning to like this ceremony.

To the child.

- To the father.

- Well thank you Victor, thank you.

What is it, Mordeen?

- Nothing, I guess the
excitement must have tired me.

I better lie down for a bit.

- If the party's too much for
you, we won't have a party.

- No no, I want a party, I
want the friends, the twins,

the neighbors but well, who
is to cook and make the punch?

- Well we'll buy everything in town

and we'll have it set out all ready.

It's a sad thing if I can't do
this to celebrate our child.

- I'd better get back to work.

- I'm as skittish as a horse.

One moment I want to shout and then

I find myself weeping and I'm tired.

Suddenly I'm very tired.
- That's akin to a shark.

I guess it is a kind of shark
and now if you hold through

to form, your morning nausea
will be worse than hers

and when she feels a
little twinge of pain,

your guts will twist in
agony and in labor, ho,

Joe Saul, God help you in labor.

- I want to bring something to her.

Some new thing, some new delight so

that her eyes will dance and she'll say

"Who would ever think that I

"would have a beauty thing like this?"

- I think she has that.
- Oh, I know that but

something like a ceremony,

some pearl like a prayer.

Some red flaming ruby of thanks,

some hard tangible humility of mind

that she can hold in the palm of her hand

or wear dangling on a
ribbon at her throat.

That's a compulsion on me,
Friend Ed, I must get this thing.

Come with me into town.

We'll get the party all
cooked, poured and carved.

I'll be the hands to do her work tonight

and then we'll go and look.

I don't know what this beauty is

but I'll know it when I see it.

Come Ed hurry, drink your
whiskey and come with me.

I don't feel trustful
of myself to be alone.

- Now take it easy Joe Saul,

remember the child, don't overdo.

- Oh, come on.

(relaxed guitar music)

- Is that you, Joe Saul?

Who's there?

Oh, it's you.

Why didn't you answer?

- Joe Saul has gone into town--

- What do you want, Victor?

You shouldn't be drinking now.

- [Victor] Come in.

Come in and sit and talk to me.

- What do you want, Victor?

- I just wanted to pass
the time of day with you.

I never seem to get to talk
to you, isn't that funny?

I'd think you'd want to talk to me.

Now I hear this interesting news but

not from you, I hear it from old Joe Saul.

I'd think that you yourself

would want to tell me all about it.

- Perhaps when you are
through playing games,

you'll tell me what it is that you want.

- You don't want to pretend that you

don't know what I'm talking about, do you?

- I know what you're talking about but

I don't know what it is
you're trying to say.

- Do you think I have
no interest in my child?

- It is not your child,
it is Joe Saul's child.

- Mordeen, do you think that if you

keep saying that often
enough, it'll be true?

- It is true.
- That's a lie.

You know it is and I know it is.

You know Joe Saul can't
have a child, you know that.

I don't like being used.

I don't like being shut
out if something's mine.

Now don't try tricks
because I don't like them.

This is my baby.

You think I want to be
used like a stud animal

for the comfort of Joe Saul, is that fair?

While he gets everything and
I get put back in the corral?

- You got what you said you wanted.

You got what you can understand.

- Don't say that again.

What I understand and
what I don't understand.

I think I proved to you I can
understand anything you can.

Even if you wouldn't come
near me again afterwards.

- Victor, don't bother me.

- Don't bother you?

Oh, first I don't understand
and now don't bother you.

Well I understand enough
to be sure it's my child

and I'll bother you when you
have my baby, understand that.

- Victor I told you, I asked you,

I even begged you to
understand that I would do

anything for Joe Saul's content
because of my love for him.

I asked you again, I
warned you to believe it.

- [Victor] What's he gonna say
when he knows it's my baby?

- It is Joe Saul's baby,
conceived in love for him.

I saw his face hovering over
me, I felt his arms, not yours.

You don't exist in this Victor,

there was no love given
off and none taken.

I had to do an alien thing, I
had to hide my love in a cave

of pain to do it and nothing
and no one can change that.

No,

this is Joe Saul's baby and mine.

- What have I done Mordeen,
what crime have I committed?

The other night, I thought
of the things you said to me.

Mordeen, I've laughed at them and I've run

off to other women to prove
those words weren't true

and they are.

I've grown away from any world I knew

and I'm not accepted in
the new world I recognize.

I'm a stranger everywhere,
I wish I'd never

seen Joe Saul, I wish I'd never seen

your eyes on him, happy and shining.

I love you Mordeen and it's not

like anything I have ever known.

- Oh Victor.

It will come to you,
if you are open to it,

capable of receiving it,
it will come to you--

- I've argued to myself, Mordeen.

But I have found this kind of love.

It cries in my mind that
it can't happen twice.

It shouts to me that if I don't save this,

this one I know beyond all doubt that,

that I will lose my chance.

Mordeen I,

I do not think I can live.

I don't say this the way
such things are said.

I don't think I can live.

- Now you know,

now you know why I did it

and I didn't think you
were capable of knowing.

I'm afraid there's a shower coming.

Victor, can't you go away?

If this is so, would
it not be better if you

were not here because this
pattern will not change?

There is nothing in any world or

thought as we know it that can change it.

Think carefully of going away, Victor.

The year will turn and it will get better

and better and then begone
in some best new thing.

- I could say with my mind that I'd go but

I'd refuse it, that I know.

For I think of the summer ending now,

you a-swelling below your breasts,

my child kicking against the
soft wall and turning and

I not able to put my hand
out and feel its moving life.

- Hush, Victor.

It is not your child.

The year will draw out your
sorrow like a basting thread.

- The year.

I know the passing year.

You walking heavily on your heels.

Your shoulders back to balance

the growing weight of my child

and your face is glorious

and your eyes shine all day long

and your mouth perhaps turns upwards,

smiling in your sleep.

I know the passing year.

The fall chilling down and the hoarfrost

crisping and yellowing the
strong grasses near the stream.

The blackbirds flocking nervously awake

and then they're gone.

The wind and the arrowing wild ducks

striding to the south
over the burning sumac

and you.

- Oh Victor.

A man can forget nearly
anything in a year.

Go back to work.

The farm follows the year

and we don't want to be left behind.

- Some things a man

can't forget.

Some things a man

wants to remember.

(relaxed guitar music)

♪ A winter breeze ♪

♪ A cold, dark night ♪

♪ The stars of love are burning bright ♪

♪ Are burning bright ♪

- [Ed] Why is the tree you want
always deepest in the woods?

- We marked this fella in
the summer, Mordeen and I.

We said to him "At last you
have a Christmas worthy of you."

- It's perfect, every limb and branch.

- I think such a tree must have

grown for knowing such a Christmas.

- [Ed] Now leave that there,
you rush at everything.

- Yes, I guess I do but in my joy,

I find so many things so beautiful.

I love the winter now, I
love the white drifts curving

down to the silver ice in
the shallows above the pond.

I love the black flashing
of the pear trees

and the dogs snuffling and
moaning on the storm porch.

I love the ice air burning in my nose

and the aching fingernails
and the acid cider.

- [Ed] These are the little
loves, children of great love.

- Pick it up Friend Ed, hurry.

Best of all, I love the going home.

(relaxed guitar tones)

- Victor?

Victor?
- What do you want?

- The winter is really here,
the cold's creeping in.

They'll be coming very soon
with the Christmas tree.

Did you shovel the wider
path down to the road?

- Yes and I've dug into myself.

- Oh Victor, I wish that you

could find the strength to go away.

I've watched you suffer
this livelong year.

Don't hug your sorrow Victor, go away.

- I can't.

I've thought it out, I love you Mordeen.

Even cut off from you,
rejected, that's so.

When I see this, this circled
happiness, a hatred stirs.

- I know.

You've thought of killing
Joe Saul, haven't you?

- Yes.

- And it wouldn't change anything.

I would still be Joe Saul's wife

and this one here would be his child.

You Victor would die in a cold of hatred.

- You taught me a quality of love

beyond my sickly hankerings.

Now that I have found this
love, I will learn to defend it.

This child is mine.

- It is Joe Saul's child.

I defend him and this child.

I threaten you, Victor.

- You threaten me?

I threaten everyone.

- If you have thought of telling

Joe Saul, give up the thought.

His hands would close your

throat before you got the telling out.

- I know.

I can't use the truth.

I'll have to think, I'll have to think.

- [Ed] Hey Victor, come out
here, give us a hand will ya?

I told you it wouldn't
go through the door.

- Well leave it on the storm porch.

We'll cut it after supper.

I'd rather have it too tall and cut it off

than too little and have to stretch it.

Darling, what's wrong?
- Nothing, why?

- Well this is your time to rest.

You oughta be lying down.

Oh, you've brought out
the Christmas ornaments.

- Yes, I'm afraid there's

not enough for that huge tree though.

- Well we'll get some more.

I was just going to tell Friend Ed about

how startled I was when the baby moved.

I was lying there, I
guess I was half-asleep

and I felt this little secret
movement and it wakened me.

It was as though someone was trying

to catch my attention but very gently.

Then there was a creeping
like a soft cat, stealthy.

Then I felt a little push
and believe it or not,

there was a shaking like silent laughter.

Then a scraggling movement and I felt it

go right up my spine
and then come tumbling

down again and then again
this little shake of laughing.

Well it startled me, I sat up in bed

and turned on the light,
Mordeen didn't even wake up

and do you know what it was?

It was that one playing in
the darkness of his mother.

(laughing)

- Oh, you would think this was

the first child born in the world.

- I know that feeling and if you want

to feel a real rumpus
sometime, have twins.

The doctor didn't say it
was twins, did he Mordeen?

- Oh no, just one and turned
and perfect, I saw it.

- You saw it?
- Mm hmm.

On the x-ray plate, at first
I couldn't make it out.

It looked like the great
nave of a cathedral

with one huge column, that
was my ribs and my spine

but then the doctor pointed
him out and there he was,

upside down and all
balled up like a kitten.

- What could you see?
- Oh, everything.

I could see his little head and his

feet curled and his legs curled.

He's been a great jumper but he's been so

quiet lately, I was worried
but Dr. Zorn says "No,

"he will now be quiet and sleep
until his time to be born."

- Oh, I would like to see this picture.

- Well the doctor would like to

study it but I'm sure
he'll show it to you.

- Next Christmas Friend Ed,
when we bring in the tree,

he'll be sitting under it and
he'll have his own presents.

I wonder what I'll give
him for his first present?

- [Ed] Something round or soft or shiny.

That's all that interests
'em the first year

and you better stop calling
him him, he may be a girl.

- Oh I don't care, I'd like a girl.

After supper Victor, bring in the toolbox.

I want to cut the tree
and put it up tonight.

What's the matter Victor, headache?

- Oh no, no.

I was just thinking, just thinking.

- Must be a heavy thought
to hold with both hands.

Well you look tired, now come
on into the bedroom and rest.

I'm gonna get supper
and Victor will help me.

- No, I don't want to go.

I'm tired of lying down,
let me stay here with you.

- My darling, I know
the time seems endless

but be patient just a little longer.

- No, please let me stay here.

- Now look, you're tense and nervous.

Your face is flushed with worriness.

Obey me just a little
longer, now go and rest.

- Very well.

- Friend Ed is going to eat with us.

Victor, poke the fire will you?

- Joe Saul, Victor wants
to tell you something.

He wants to go away.

- [Joe] Is this true, Victor?

- I,

I wasn't

ready to

tell you just now.

Mordeen thinks I'm restless, she

thinks it'd be better if I went away.

- [Joe] Why do you bother Mordeen?

It's no time to be troubling
her, why didn't you come to me?

- I didn't bother her, she,
she sensed my restlessness.

- [Joe] I need you Victor with Christmas

and the birth and all the
work, I need you, don't go now.

- Don't try to hold him,

you know how restless you
were when you were his age.

You can't hold a boy from his wandering.

- He must stay at least
until the work is over.

- I'll come over from my
place and give you a hand.

- You've got too much work
to do on your own farm.

Victor.

- I don't mean to go now when you need me.

I was only thinking of it.

There's no hurry.
- That's settled, you'll stay.

But I don't want you bothering Mordeen.

If there's any problem,
come to me, let her alone.

Put the skillet on.

It's gonna be a fry supper
whether you like it or not.

Fried livers, stewed tomatoes,
milk and tapioca for dessert.

Would you like a drink
of whiskey, Friend Ed?

- I wouldn't mind.
- You know where it is.

You, Victor?

- What did you say?
- Do you want a drink?

- No, no thanks, not tonight.

- Strange Friend Ed, of course you know

the baby's there but it's a mystery.

I guess you never really
believe it until it's born.

But she's seen it and that makes it real.

It's not just an idea, a wish or a prayer.

It's a real thing.

- [Ed] I see what you mean, that's true.

- It's a curious state being a father.

I've always loved children
but this is very different.

You know I can't believe
it ever happened before.

- [Ed] It's happened before.

- Oh, I suppose a father's
state of mind is as strange

and burdened with birth as
is the body of the mother.

- It'd be the uncertainty that'd worry me.

- What uncertainty?
- He means anxiety.

Anxiety of labor,
apprehension for Mordeen.

- That's what I meant.
- Oh yes, that's so.

But she seems very well and it's only

natural that I should
be anxious for the boy.

You know I remember something my

father said to me when I was a boy.

He said "I haven't much to leave you, son.

"But I gave you clean blood,

"strength, health and cleanliness."

Not a bad present, Friend Ed.
- That was the best.

- Joe Saul.

You could give your child

the same present your father gave you.

- [Ed] What do you mean by that?

- Well he's going in to see the x-ray,

why doesn't he have the doctor
go over him head to toe?

That'd be a present.
- How, Victor?

- Well make sure, hang
your health certificate

on the tree for his
first Christmas present.

- Why that would be a present.

Then I could say to this child,

"This is what your father
gave you first of all.

"Strength and health and cleanliness."

- This is a foolish idea.

You don't need a checkup,
you're perfectly fit.

- Lots of healthy people
get them once a year.

- It's a good idea,
Victor and all the papers

could be signed by Dr.
Zorn, rolled up maybe

like a parchment with a
big seal and tied with red

ribbon like a diploma and
hung on the Christmas tree.

His first present and his best.

- This is a silly idea, don't do it.

- Don't tell Mordeen, I want to do it

as a secret and a kind
of a joke but not a joke.

I've never had a thorough checkup.

- [Ed] Joe Saul, will you listen to me?

- I'm getting my son a present

and I want to be sure it's perfect.

The greatest present in the world--

- [Ed] I don't want you
to do this, Joe Saul.

- I'm giving him life.
- I don't want you to do it!

- Why don't you want him to do it?

- Will you stay out of this?
- Don't you tell me.

- Oh now be silent, both of
you, I can make up my own mind.

(anxious guitar tones)

- [Narrator] In just a
moment, we will return

to the final act of John
Steinbeck's Burning Bright.

(dramatic chiming tones)

(relaxed guitar music)

♪ Strong as the tides drawn by the moon ♪

♪ All of life stirs, begins it soon ♪

- [Mordeen] Joe Saul.

Joe Saul.
- He's not here.

Come out Mordeen, I want to talk to you.

- Oh Victor, I thought that you had gone.

Does Joe Saul know that you're here?

- Yes.

He told me he had to go ashore.

He told me to standby
in case you needed me.

- Please go away Victor, I
think my time is very near.

I felt the first pains,
false pains maybe but

my time is near and I need
Joe Saul, I want him here--

- Instead you have me.

Sit down Mordeen, I have final
things to tell you, sit down.

- I'm not easy sitting down.

My body is aching to
get on with the birth.

My child is crowding me--
- Sit down, Mordeen.

- Oh please go away, Victor.

Let me have peace.

I can't think now, I can't listen.

Please go away.
- No, it's too late.

I must have you and my
child, I must have that.

It'd be good if you wanted
me as much as I want you

but I must have you
whether you wish it or not.

This is my whole life, I can't

throw it away no matter what comes of it.

- Victor, I have told
you over and over again

why I need this child, I love Joe Saul.

- Do you know what I did?

I went ashore and rented a little room

with a dusty window and an air shaft.

I said "Mordeen, I will
fight this through.

"I will win here."

On the dark wall of that
room, there were figures.

Flowers I think but I
don't know what they were

because every repeated
figure was your face.

I covered my eyes with my arms.

The drip of the water in
the basin was your voice.

Then I covered my eyes and my ears and my

heartbeat was the sound of your walking.

I couldn't escape from you,

even in the dark behind closed eyes.

Your steps in my chest grew louder.

I ran out in the streets,
I walked how far, how long,

every face was your face,
every sound was you.

No.

Mordeen, you are my wife

and I cannot have my child born here.

- Mr. Victor, go to your
quarters, go instantly.

Joe Saul would kill you if he
could hear you, go instantly.

- You will come away with me now tonight.

I have a place for you, I have a doctor.

You will come with me now
if I have to tear you free.

- I will not go, don't
you understand that?

I will not go, don't you understand?

- Then there's only one other way.

We will wait

here

just as we are.

When Joe Saul comes, I'll tell him.

I'll tell him everything, I'm
not afraid of his hands now.

I don't think you can look in

his eyes and say "This is not true."

In his rage he may hurt you and the child.

Is this worth doing, Mordeen?

Suppose he doesn't,
suppose he lets it pass

and you have to live with a covered hatred

for you and a hatred for my child.

I will surely tell him, Mordeen.

Even if I don't want
to, I will surely do it.

- It's starting again,
give me time to think.

- [Victor] No, I have been over
it too much in my own mind.

- Victor, please give me time.
- I don't dare.

I can't afford to give you time--

- Victor I can't now, I can't--

- You must come with me--
- I will not go!

Tell him, tell him,

it'll be all right and he will understand.

(groan)

- You don't believe that.

Mordeen, if that were so,
why didn't he adopt a child?

Why this constant talk
about blood and family?

No.

You don't believe that.

- Victor,

Victor, there must be

some way to,

there must be some other way.

At first when I asked for your help,

I was closed off in a
little house of pain.

There were no others in my
world except Joe Saul and me.

But in these long, heavy
months, my world has grown.

It is no longer closed off.

- Is this another trick?
- No.

No, it is not a trick Victor
unless it is a trick on me too.

Don't you see, Victor?

I am trying to save us,
you, me and Joe Saul.

Maybe, maybe you could stay
here, be near the baby.

- How about Joe Saul?
- That hasn't changed.

I am his wife, I love him,
I will not have him hurt.

- [Victor] What kind of
a fool do you think I am?

Are you saying you could love both of us?

- Not the way that you
mean Victor but I would

try to open the family like
a garment and take you in.

- [Victor] Do you think you
could be a wife to two men?

- No Victor, I can only be
a wife to Joe Saul, that--

- Well then I say no.
- Please, Victor.

- No, no!
- Please, please Victor!

You don't know what your choice
means, you don't know me.

Please Victor don't do it,

don't do it, I beg you not to do it.

- I can't go back, I'm in

the long narrow tunnel and I can't turn.

- I don't have a choice?

- [Victor] No.

You don't have a choice.

- Do you know that I
will kill you, Victor?

You nor any circumstance will
keep this child from Joe Saul.

Believe me, if I could do that

thing before, think what I could do now.

- Mordeen,

if my choice were made
with the certainty that

I would die tomorrow,
I will still make it.

You will come away.

- Very well.

Get my suitcase under the lower berth,

it's at the hospital.

Get it, Victor.

(ship horn blaring)

- Once I refused you,

I wouldn't offer my
responsibility, now I will.

- It is my responsibility I
started it and I will finish it.

I don't want your help.
- Now you have it.

Whether you want it or not, you have it.

- Stay clear of this Ed, stay clear of it.

I'll finish what I started.
- Hush.

Victor.

- What do you want?

- I have my orders, my
ship sails at midnight.

Will you sail with me?

I have a berth for you.

Sail with me Victor, it
would solve many things.

- I always thought you knew.

I've seen it in your eyes

and in your damned wooden, patient face.

Well if you know, you might
as well know all of it.

I'm taking Mordeen and my child away.

You and old Joe Saul can weep,

can shout, can howl but you can't stop me.

This is mine and I will have it.

- Sail with me Victor, you'll forget,

you'll be a little ashamed of

yourself that you forgot so soon.

With long days to think,
it will be different.

- [Victor] It will be no different.

- I guess you do mean it.

Then maybe there's nothing I can do.

- [Victor] Nothing.

- If you must take her,

I guess Joe Saul must make the best of it.

- I'm glad you finally understand.

- You know Victor, I have
a special love for Mordeen.

I want her happiness.

If she goes with you,
I want her to be happy.

- I know

and I will try to give her happiness,

believe me I will try.

- I believe you will and there's one

thing that I can give her through you.

- What thing?

- There's one knowledge only that I have.

I want to put it in your hands for her.

- What is it, tell me.

- She doesn't know,
she must never know it.

It's a secret thing, I'll give
it to you to hold for her.

- Then come out on deck and
tell me, I haven't much time.

(anxious guitar tones)

(scream)
(splash)

(ship horn blaring)

- He was not bad Friend
Ed, he was not evil.

- I know.

- Is he,

is he dead?

- Victor will sail with
me, I have a berth for him.

Joe Saul is my friend and I love him

and when you gave him happiness,
you became a part of him.

When I saw his gigantic
joy, I felt grateful to you.

I knew that you were right.

All of you was strong,
all of you was dear to me.

- I know that

this will stay with me all my life.

- Listen to me Mordeen,
whatever you may think in

the future, whatever fire I
may lay about my own stake,

I must believe that it was
worth it and so must you.

- I think it's starting
again, I can't think.

I want Joe Saul,

I want Joe!

Oh Joe.

- [Ed] What's the matter with
you Joe Saul, are you drunk?

- [Joe] Drunk?

No I'm a sick man, I'm sick.
- Sick?

- I went to Dr. Zorn.

I went all by myself.

It's my heart, he says I have
a bad heart, me, a bad heart.

I was sick when I was a
boy, that's what caused it.

- Well is it dangerous?
- Dangerous?

He said I am to take it easy
for awhile, take it easy, me.

- [Ed] What's wrong with that?

It'll give you more time with the baby.

- Well, I guess so.

Mr. Victor

read a lot and now he can do some work.

- [Ed] Forget Victor.

- Oh, someday he'll be the
master of the big liner.

Ladies in the Captain's diner.

Once every watch he'll go up to

the bridge and see that
everything's all right.

But the sea is not in him, he doesn't hear

without listening or see without looking.

When we came into the harbor,

we almost ran down a school because

his hand didn't move over but I was there.

Now maybe I won't be there,

maybe next time I'll be down in my bunker.

A sick man and on the bridge, Mr. Victor

and I was the one who
wanted to buy a present.

The present of perfection.

- You're lying to me, Joe
Saul and I don't recall

a time ever before when
you had to lie to me

and I would let you lie
but there's no time.

I'm sailing at midnight, so drop the lie.

- What lie?
- You know what lie.

Your heart, that's not it and you know it.

After all this time,
you've dug up your hard,

icy fact and now you've got to face it

and if I am to help you face
it as my right and duties say,

then I've got to help you with the truth.

Name it Joe Saul, name it.

- I forced it.

Zorn didn't want me to see.

I was filled with

power and joyfulness.

I told him I'd go to another
man if he didn't let me see.

I made him let me see the microscope.

I saw the plate,

big as a porthole it looked
and blinding with light.

I turned and there they were, I saw them.

Shrunken, crooked, corpses
of sperm and (groan).

- For a fool, a happy lie is good enough.

But I had hope that you
were a little wiser.

If you were wiser, the truth
could be a glory for you.

I haven't much time Joe Saul.

I'm sailing at midnight,
what can I do for you?

- [Joe] What can anyone do?

It's finished, my line, my blood,

the whole procession of the ages is dead

and I'm only waiting a
little while and then I die.

- What are you going to do, Joe Saul?

Take down your hands,

stop hiding in the dark
behind your fingers.

The world still goes on outside.

What are you going to think?

- I haven't had much time to think.

- You've had your whole
life, you haven't dared.

- Stop torturing me Friend
Ed, stop torturing me.

- What are you going to do, Joe Saul?

- I'll have to kill him.

There's no place in the
world for him to live

knowing and sneering, maybe
not telling but always knowing.

I cannot live with his mind
in the same world with me.

- [Ed] Forget Victor, how about Mordeen?

- I can't get open my
mind to her treachery.

If I let myself look at her, even for

a second think about
her, I will go down in

some horrible pit with
my hands at her throat.

- Stand up.

Stand up, you cowardly dirty thing

or by God, I'll hit you
sitting down, stand up!

So much I can take and no more.

What is this whining,

crawling ego of yours that's so important?

How could you dare out of your

silly self to crush a lovely thing?

Have I wasted my life being

friend to a whimpering nastiness?

- What are you saying?

You don't understand.
- I do understand.

I understand that you are offered

a gift of loveliness and
that you vomit on it.

That you have the gift of love such as

no man has ever had before and you throw

on it the acid of your pride, your ugly,

twisted sense of importance.

- You don't understand, it's not my child.

- It is your child.
- It can't be.

- It is!

More than you can conceive
in your sick soul.

Soul, I wonder what your soul looks like?

I think I know, it looks just
like those shrunken sperm.

She gave you a child,

yours to be yours.

Her love for you was so great that she

could do a thing that was strange and foul

to her and yet not be dirtied by it.

She gave you everything, the gift of love

and how wrong she was to love
a fool and a filthy fool.

- Why couldn't she tell me,
why did I have to discover it?

- Because you couldn't receive
it because in your smallness,

you hadn't the graciousness
to receive this gift.

You can't live life because
you've never looked at life and

you crushed loveliness on the
rocks of your stinking pride.

(slap)

I've given you everything a
friend can give, Joe Saul.

Even contempt and that's
the hardest thing of all.

Killing is easy compared to that.

You didn't hear what I came to say.

I'm sailing at midnight,
Victor is sailing with me.

Now you'll be all alone on
your particular black ocean.

- Don't leave me, Friend Ed.

For God's sake, don't leave me alone.

I'm afraid, I don't know what to do.

- I don't know what you'll do, Joe Saul.

Perhaps your soul will
require the destruction

of everything beautiful around
it for its small integrity.

I could hope that there was
some greatness left in you.

I could wish that you
would know and understand

that you are the husband
and father of love.

It's not that you should
try to excuse or explain.

You must search within yourself for

the goodness and the
generosity to receive.

- Are you sure that
this is true, Friend Ed?

- I'm sure but if you require sureness,

you have a long and twilight way to go.

- It's a new and

an unknown road, I

can't find it alone.

- You'll never find it any other way.

Come say goodbye to me, Joe Saul.

Say a good wish to us standing off to sea

and to yourself standing off.

Take the first steps, Joe Saul.

(ship horn blaring)

- Friend Ed, I

can't.

- [Ed] Then you'll have to work it out.

You'll have to work it out alone.

- Joe,

Joe Saul!

(soft guitar music)

Dead,

the whole world is dead and burning.

Burned and black.

Nothing left.

I wanted,

I wanted to give Joe Saul his
child, Friend Ed, I wanted.

But everything's dead.
- Listen to me, Mordeen.

He's here and he's resting.

He's had great effort and now he's asleep.

A little wrinkled and very tired

and the salt air in the mouth,

the sweet mouth like your mouth, Mordeen.

- Joe Saul, where are you?

Joe Saul, where did
you go, why did you go?

- I'm here, I didn't go away
or if I did, I came back.

I'm here.

- Joe Saul is dead.

- [Joe] A little part of Joe Saul is dead.

Part of him died in the darkness.

- Maybe he'll never know,
maybe he'll be content.

- Be still,

lie quietly and rest.

I know

and I am content, content
as I've never been.

I know that what seemed the whole tight,

small pattern is not important.

I thought my soul was all I had to give.

It is not so, I know it now.

- You hide your soul.

I can't see your face very well.

- [Joe] I thought that
my blood must survive,

my line but no, the long knowledge, yes.

The knowledge remembered and repeated.

The pride, yes, the pride and warmth.

The warmth, companionship and love

so that the loneliness we wear

like icy clothes is not always there.

These I can give.

- Joe Saul,

where is your face?

What's happened to your face?

- It's not important, it's just a face.

I thought it was worth
preserving because it was mine.

But it's not so.

- Joe Saul,

is the baby dead?

- No, he's here and he's alive.

The baby is here, how I wish I could

tell him quickly what he must learn.

He is a child of an ugly species,

torn with insanities, weak,
violent and quarrelsome.

The only animal that knows
evil and practices it

and understands cruelty
and is unbearably cruel.

- The baby,

the baby is alive?

- There he lies sleeping to teach me,

to teach me that with all
our horrors and our faults,

there is something in us shining.

There he lies sleeping to teach me

there is a shining.

- You are my husband,

you are Joe Saul.

And you know.

- I know.

I had to walk into the black to know.

To know that every man
is father to all children

and that every child must
have all men as father.

This child is not a
piece of private property

registered for instant separating.

- I can't see your
face, turn up the light.

Give me light Joe Saul so I can see you.

- I'll give you light, Mordeen.

(soft guitar music)

Mordeen, I love the child.

I love our child,

Mordeen.

I love my son.

♪ The winter breeze ♪

♪ The cold dark night ♪

♪ The stars of love ♪

♪ Are burning bright ♪

♪ Strong is the tide ♪

♪ Drawn by the moon ♪

♪ All of life stirs ♪