Picket Fences (1992–1996): Season 4, Episode 2 - Reap the Whirlwind - full transcript
As a tornado threat hangs over Rome, Wambaugh and his wife quarrel over his remarks at their 50th anniversary party. Meanwhile, the Brocks worry over Kimberly who's away at college. Kenny risks his life and career over a woman. Also, Carter considers quilting as a new hobby for himself to ease his depression.
[Jill] Previously on
Picket Fences...
Carter!
Mitch... Mitch!
Carter Pike in there?
No serious burns,
I was expecting
smoke inhalation,
but oxidization is 94 percent.
Have you checked
his pupils, Brian?
Something’s oppressing his CNS.
I’d say we have drugs onboard.
Since when do I need
your permission?
It’s not about permission, Max.
I don’t count.
I went to bed with a redhead,
and I woke up with Sheena,
the jungle woman.
Well, that’s pretty funny
coming from Kenny, the caveman.
That’s it.
Don’t you dare sit
in my chambers and lie to me.
You have a problem.
You tried to take your own life.
I didn’t mean for it to happen.
Twenty‐five weekends
in a row, without a date.
God, I’m so lonely. [sobbing]
Everyone thinks I broke up
with Max because of her hair,
like it’s some big joke.
[mock laughs] Had nothing
to do with the hair.
She didn’t respect me.
I’ve decided to
take in a boarder.
Maybe, you could use
those upstairs rooms.
You’d really let me
stay in your house?
[thunder rumbling]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
[male reporter] We interrupt
this program for the following
special report.
At this time,
a line of thunderstorms,
strong thunderstorms
pushing through the area...
Neat!
There’s a tornado watch!
‐Matt, Zack.
‐[female reporter]
...till midnight
in the following counties.
Brown, Hogan,
Manitowoc, Sheboygan,
Fond du Lac,
Winnebago, Outagamie and...
What’s going on?
Also a marine advisory
has been issued
for Lake Winnebago...
‐Oh... [inhales sharply]
‐Uh, who’re you going to call?
I’m calling Kimberley, honey.
She’s all alone out there.
She’s alone with
three roommates, honey.
Yes, in a crummy little house
that would blow away
‐in the first strong wind.
‐She’s 18,
she’s a college freshman.
Would you want
your mother calling you?
Oh, God!
‐[crashing]
‐Oh!
‐[Matthew] What was that?
‐Whoa!
Big tree branch fell.
Cool, they’re showing clips
of old tornados.
[man]
...display of unchecked fury.
I’ll call.
[theme music playing]
[theme music ends]
‐[Jill] Everything all right
in there?
‐Uh...
I was beginning to worry.
I had a lot of coffee
this morning.
No problem, settle down.
[chuckles softly]
Whoa, that’s some weather,
isn’t it?
‐Yeah, sure is.
‐Well,
you look pretty good
for a guy who almost died
of a drug overdose last month.
If your liver and kidney
functions check out,
‐I’m going to give you
a clean bill of health.
‐[sarcastically] Whoopie.
Tornado watch.
Used to turn me on
like a light, Jill.
Chasing tornados used to be
a sexual experience for me.
Now, check my pulse.
‐I did.
‐And?
Seventy‐four.
‐[clicks tongue]
‐What, that’s normal.
My heart should be pounding
like a trip hammer, Jill.
They brought in
a cadaver yesterday.
Suspected cysticercosis.
We’re talking tapeworms,
the size of a boa constrictor.
I took a nap.
Literally, could not stay awake
to perform the autopsy.
You sound depressed.
Very good.
Well, maybe you need
a new hobby,
or something, hmm?
[sighs] Hobby.
Well, like...
stamp collecting, or...
[chuckles]
Hey, do you know that
my cousin, Dan,
took up quilting last year?
‐Quilting?
‐Yeah.
Just an idea.
No, that’s intriguing. Quilting?
Indigenous American art form
combining regional style
and individual sensibility.
Solitary pursuit,
which is perfect in my case.
Requiring a...
high level of manual dexterity,
which I have!
Plus, artistic temperament.
Which I could develop.
[softly] Quilting.
Incoming from
the weather service, Jimmy.
They’ve extended the watch
to 3:00 p. m.
Okay, thanks, Maxine.
You want me to call in
the night shift?
No, not unless something hits.
Uh, check with dispatch.
Make sure we’ve alerted
all the hospitals and schools.
‐Right.
‐The usual.
‐[inhales] What?
‐Nice tie.
Oh, thank you.
Jill picked it out for me.
No, no, no, I mean it.
The Mayor’s right,
you do look good in civvies.
She told you that?
In so many words.
What’d she say?
Her exact words?
Well?
Nice buns.
’Morning Sheriff.
Tornado pool, sir.
[Douglas] It’s coming Saturday!
Here, put me down
for Saturday, 3:00.
I feel it in my bladder.
Ooh, a nice tie.
Do you want something, Doug,
or did you just come by
to reveal the secrets
of your prostate?
You didn’t RSVP.
Our anniversary bash.
40 years shackled to Myriam.
‐It’s going to be
a major blowout.
‐And Jill
told me to call.
I’m sorry, I will be there.
Who’d have believed it?
40 years!
Yet, the Wambaugh marriage
seems sailing along...
Excuse me, Kenny, uh,
my office please.
...limping home to port.
Kenny, don’t forget
my anniversary.
We’ve got a problem.
This witness statement
in the Boyd case is a disaster.
Dates are off.
The spelling is lousy.
He didn’t even get
the address right.
‐I’m on it.
‐What’s with the shirt?
We may have relaxed
uniform regs, Kenny,
we didn’t throw
discipline out the window.
‐That’s it?
‐No, that’s not it.
I don’t like what
I’m seeing here.
You’re not in a ball,
ever since... [inhales]
...you and Max broke up.
That’s got nothing to do
with it, Jimmy, I told you.
It’s over and done!
I’m just tired, that’s all.
I’ve been pulling double shifts.
It’s under control. Okay?
In Fond du Lac county,
a funnel cloud was spotted
at around 4:30 this afternoon.
It didn’t touch ground.
We’re repeating
our top story this...
There’s nothing on, but these
stupid weather reports.
[speaking indistinctly]
Thank you.
Nice wheels.
Ditto.
Your vehicle?
Yeah.
‐Police officer.
‐Oh, give me a break.
You step out of the cab
and don’t even
think about running away.
Is there a problem, officer?
License and registration.
See what happened was...
I took a wrong turn back on 41
and I was asking
this young lady for directions.
License and registration.
Look, man,
I’ve never done
anything like this before
in my life, I swear.
This gets on my file,
I’m out of a job.
Understand what I’m saying?
My wife...
She’s an understanding
woman, but...
Your left taillight.
It’s broke.
Next time, it’s a $30 fine.
[exhales] Right.
Thank you, man.
Thank you. [chuckles]
Rome police. [sighs]
Number one in my book.
Number one.
I got tired of waiting.
I got hung up.
Paperwork.
[moans] Wait, wait, wait.
Let’s got to my place.
‐Yes.
‐Okay, yeah.
So how’s it shaking, baby?
Uh, you know.
I work, I eat, I watch TV.
Life is full.
You have to smoke?
It never bothered you before.
Well, it’s bothering me now.
What’s the matter, baby?
Nothing.
By the way, you and
your girlfriends better cool it
on that CB stuff.
We’re getting calls
at the station.
People are getting wise.
Couple more months... I’m out.
I told you,
it’s just short term.
‐But thank you.
‐Yeah, you know what?
This place stinks.
You ever, ever think of
cleaning it up?
What’s wrong, Kenny?
Don’t I make you happy?
Yeah, sure.
Hey, I told you, you don’t
have to pay me. I like you.
I don’t mind.
You want another beer
or something?
No.
Just thinking about my future.
My career. [snickers]
It’s a joke.
My boss thinks I’m an idiot.
Just a trigger finger,
that’s all.
My personal life?
I’m pulling two shifts
just so I don’t have to
think about my personal life.
[Kenny scoffs]
I’ve got nothing.
Nothing going for me.
You’ve got me.
Yeah. [exhales sharply]
Matthew, Zachary.
You’re going to be late
for school.
‐So will I...
‐Oh, Jimmy, look at your tie.
Wait... [chuckles] Oh, God.
‐Can’t go to work
looking like that.
‐Honey, don’t.
You know, I’ve been thinking,
Kimberley doesn’t have
a basement in her new house.
‐So?
‐So, what if a tornado hits?
Oh, honey, a tornado is not
going to hit Kimberley’s house.
And what if it does?
In the middle of the night?
Well, we just hope
she’s not home.
I’ll call from work,
make sure she looks for a...
High school building
or something that
has a basement in it, okay?
And what if she
can’t get there in time?
‐You’re being your mother.
‐[groaning]
Have you ever quilted before?
No, but I have the capacity
for unbelievable obsessions.
It’s a character trait of mine.
[chuckles softly]
[laughs]
How much is this machine?
‐Ouch!
‐Well, you picked
the top of the line.
$1,630.
It’s got over
400 stitch patterns,
fully computerized
and interfaces with your PC.
Costs as much as a small car.
[giggles] Well, now,
here’s a model
that’s perfectly suited
to your needs
‐for only a quarter
of the price.
‐Hmm.
‐It’s got very
high‐quality stitching...
‐Mm‐hmm.
...over 16 computerized patterns
and it’s the least expensive
machine that still comes
with a knee lifter.
‐That’s important?
‐Oh, it’s essential,
if you’re going to be quilting.
It means that you can
lift up the presser foot
and lower the feed dogs
while keeping both hands
on the quilt.
Presser foot?
Yes, this doohickey right here.
‐Right!
‐[chuckles] And for you
obsessive types,
it has a storage and toolbox
attached right to the case.
‐Ooh.
‐Typical Swiss engineering.
You put your screwdriver
in backwards
‐and you can’t close the box.
‐Oh, I like that.
As with all our
high‐end machines,
this one comes with
eight hours free instruction.
Great! Who gives
the instruction?
I do.
‐[cork pops loudly]
‐[Wambaugh laughing]
Doug, Doug, please,
take it easy.
Myriam, 40 years of marriage.
If ever there was
an occasion to drink,
this is it!
‐Henry! Thank you
for coming, Henry
‐[Henry cheering]
Mazel tov, everybody! Thank you!
‐Only on happy occasions. Jill.
‐Congratulations.
‐Jimmy!
‐Ah, it’s a wonderful party,
wonderful party.
‐Congratulations.
‐I hope that we’re as happy
as you are on our 40th.
‐It’s the champagne, believe me.
‐[all laughing]
Well, where’s Deputy Stewart?
Uh, she’s on
special assignment tonight.
Too bad. I’m giving a speech.
She would’ve loved it.
To your health, Kenny.
To your health.
Max is on special assignment?
A little sting operation
she set up with night‐shift.
Uh, she’s trying
the plain clothes on,
thought I’d give her a shot.
Well, I’ve been interested
in plain clothes, too, Jimmy.
Come up with an idea
and let me know, huh?
Meanwhile, good job
on that Boyd report.
‐Thanks.
‐Yeah.
[glass clinking]
I’d like to make a toast
to Myriam and Douglas
on their ruby
wedding anniversary.
[everyone] Myriam and Douglas!
[laughs] Thank you,
thank you, my friends!
It’s so nice to see you all.
My heart is lit
with a golden glow.
This is the part
where you call on me
to say a few words.
Why don’t you say
a few words, Doug?
Ah, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
They say that a married couple
is well suited
when they feel the need
to quarrel at the same time.
If so,
Myriam and I
are a perfect match.
After each argument,
we patch things up.
‐My chin, my nose, my head!
‐[everyone laughs]
Ah, it’s like they say,
that marriage is
a great institution.
But who wants to live
in an institution?
[everyone laughs loudly]
It’s 40 years...
What a wedding.
It seems like yesterday.
Wonderful ceremony.
After the ceremony,
I went over to the Rabbi
and I asked him,
how much do I owe you
for performing the ceremony?
He says, "Ah, pay me
what you think its worth."
Well, I put my hand
in my pocket.
All I had there was a dollar.
What could I do?
I hand him the dollar.
He takes one look at Myriam.
‐He gave me 50 cents change.
‐[everyone laughs]
I shouldn’t be laughing.
I don’t know how
you put up with him.
Oh God, that’s funny!
Uh, thanks for...
meeting me, Sue.
I’ve, uh... [sighs]
...been having second thoughts
spending all that money
on a sewing machine.
Oh, you won’t regret it.
I think you’re going to
love quilting, Carter.
The steady sound
of your machine. The...
The work of your hands
as you create something unique.
Piece by piece.
Stitch by stitch.
So who had the decaf latte
and who had the cappuccino?
[sighs deeply] Cappuccino.
Thank you.
[sighs] So...
[giggles] So you’re a doctor?
That’s right. [clears throat]
I’m the medical examiner
for Hogan County.
Wow! That sounds important.
You’re new around here,
aren’t you?
Well, I moved from Minneapolis
two months ago.
People told me that Rome
was a little strange,
but I don’t think so.
It’s... It’s just
a little lonely.
Hmm, yeah, I know what you mean.
I’m sorry about your house.
What?
Didn’t your house
burn down recently?
Who told you about that?
Nancy, she owns the shop.
She says she knows
all about you. [chuckles]
I guess you’re something
of a celebrity around here, huh?
‐[chuckles] What else
did she tell you?
‐Oh, that was it.
She was running out the door
at the time, so I guess
I’ll get the whole
story tomorrow.
Unless, you want to tell me.
No, I’ll...
I’ll let Nancy do it.
You’re just being modest.
[giggles]
So what else do you do
besides quilting?
Do you like to read?
I love to read.
Really, who’s your
favorite author?
Oh, I don’t know.
That’s so hard.
Um, Hermann Hesse
Did you ever read Steppenwolf?
‐That was great.
‐[Sue sighs]
I mean, of course,
they’re all so good.
Siddhartha, Demian,
The Glass Bead Game.
So when do you want to
start your lessons?
[exhales]
Can I call you tomorrow?
Sure.
To your right.
You’ve got this all wrong.
Save it, Sherri.
I’ve got it all on tape.
You’ve got any brains,
you’ll plead to
a Class A misdemeanor.
To your left.
You’re going to put me in jail?
You can bond out,
as long as you agree
to make arraignment on Tuesday.
You got everything on tape?
I’ve got audio of you soliciting
sex for hire on the CB.
I’ve got video of you
meeting our man
at the truck stop.
I was in the van across the lot.
I’d like to speak
to Deputy Lacos.
‐Excuse me.
‐Kenny Lacos
This is his station, right?
What do you want
to talk to him for?
I don’t have to tell you.
Deputy Lacos is off duty.
So you can call him, can’t you?
555‐0913.
As soon as you post bond,
you can drop a dime,
like everyone else.
Wipe your hands.
Oh, for God’s sakes, Myriam.
Will you ever get out of there?
No, I’m going to spend
the rest of my life
in the bathroom, so you can make
another joke out of it.
You’re overreacting.
Never been so humiliated
in my life.
‐Oh, yes, you have.
‐You know,
you took what should’ve been
a beautiful occasion
‐and you turned it into a‐‐
‐A joke fest.
So, what’s the big deal?
You shamed me.
In front of all our friends,
you shame me?
And on our anniversary...
They weren’t laughing at you.
‐They were laughing with me!
‐Well, they shouldn’t
have been laughing at all!
There should’ve been dancing
and romance and...
Oh... Never mind.
Oh, so? [clicks tongue]
I had a few drinks. So what?
I’m a character.
Everybody knows that.
Myriam, open the door.
Myriam, don’t be silly.
[banging on door] Myriam!
[knock at door]
Max?
You know a girl
named Sherri Watkins?
‐Who?
‐Sherri Watkins?
Late 20s, red hair.
Too much makeup,
cheap perfume. Ring any bells?
No. Should it?
You certainly ring her bell.
We picked her up tonight.
Little sting operation
at the truck stop.
She’s a lot lizard, Kenny.
You know, one of the hookers
who makes with
the truck drivers.
When I booked her,
she asked for you. Why?
Wait a minute.
Sherri Watkins, yeah.
Small, kind of pretty.
Yeah, she helped me out
with a phantom case,
last year. Remember?
Yeah, unnamed informant.
So you picked her up tonight?
I guess, that’s her tough luck.
Guess so.
Well, congratulations.
She knew your telephone number.
So?
So I hope you’re
telling the truth.
Meaning what?
Meaning, I don’t know
what’s happened to you lately.
‐Ever since we broke up‐‐
‐Look, Max,
it was my choice,
I can handle it
All right?
It was the right thing to do.
Kenny, you get in a hole
sometimes, you know.
You start drinking,
do a lot of stupid things.
Are you having an affair
with that girl?
No.
And what if I was? So what?
"So"? She’s a hooker.
It can ruin your career.
You’re the one
with the career, Max.
My life’s going nowhere.
Kenny, you have a lot of faults.
Self‐pity...
was never one of them.
‐[knocks on door]
‐It’s me, Kenny, open up!
‐What is it?
‐What is it?
You asked for me
at the Sheriff’s station
and you want to know,
"what is it"?
‐I need help.
‐Well, I can’t help you.
‐You’re a cop.
‐You shouldn’t have
mentioned my name!
I’m sorry. I got scared.
You should’ve tipped me off.
I didn’t know anything
about it until tonight.
Besides, I told you,
cut that stuff out!
You’ve got to fix it, Kenny.
You’ve got to make tings right.
I can’t fix it, Sherri.
What do you think I am?
Some kind of magic man?
I wave a wand
and everything disappears?
You’ve got to fix it!
You were stupid!
I know, Kenny, please.
You’re a whore.
You got caught being a whore.
That’s all there is to it.
Yeah, I’m a whore?
Well, what does that make you?
You son of a bitch!
This has got nothing
to do with me.
If I’m in a sewer,
you’re right down there with me.
You leave me out of it.
All right?
I’m on probation.
They can send me away this time.
You’ve got to get me
out of this, you’ve got to.
‐Or I’ll tell them everything.
‐Just shut up!
You want me to beg?
I’ll beg.
I need you to help me, Kenny.
[sobbing] Please.
How can I help you, Sherri?
They’ve got everything on tape.
Everything on tape.
[rings bell]
[gasps] Oh, God, it’s her.
The girl who’s called
six times today?
I’m not here, I’m, uh,
working on a tapeworm.
Hi, I’m Sue Walsh
from Bobbin and Threads.
I’m looking for Carter.
Is he in?
‐Carter?
‐Carter Pike.
Mid‐thirties, glasses,
about so high.
Oh, that Carter.
‐Yeah.
‐Yes, yes.
Yes, he’s here.
Carter.
‐Sue!
‐Hi.
‐Hi
‐I... I’ve got your machine
in the car.
Really?
Well, uh, if you’ll excuse me.
I have to go polish,
uh... something.
You see, um...
It’s going to be a problem, Sue,
I’ve, uh...
I’ve changed my mind.
What? You don’t want it?
But, last night you‐‐
I know, I know, I was, uh,
rechecking my finances.
Cash flow, earnings projections
and, uh...
Oh, boy,
an expensive sewing machine
is an extravagance
I just can’t afford right now.
Well, we have all sorts of
financial plans, Carter
‐For as little as $40 a month‐‐
‐I just don’t think
I can do it, Sue.
I’m sorry.
Oh, okay.
I really appreciate
you coming by.
No problem.
Watch out for the weather.
You mind telling me
what that little fiasco
was all about?
We went out on a date
last night, kind of...
And?
‐Well, she seems very nice.
‐She is very nice.
How could I possibly
get involved with someone
who’s favorite author
is Hermann Hesse?
‐What?
‐She told me her favorite author
is Hermann Hesse.
‐What’s wrong with Hesse?
‐Come on, Judge,
talk about
metaphysical pretension,
"Maya, Maya, all is Maya."
Give me a break.
For goodness sake, Carter.
The other day,
you were telling me
how lonely you are.
Now, you turn down
a perfectly nice woman
because she happens
to like Hermann Hesse?
I may be lonely,
but I’m not that lonely.
Matthew!
‐Kim’s phone lines are down.
‐What?
Look, I tried calling Kim.
The phone company says
her phone lines are out.
What do you keep
calling her for?
Somebody’s got to hold
this family together.
Hey, give me a break.
I heard Mom telling Dad that
Kimberley’s house
‐doesn’t have a basement.
‐So?
So it doesn’t concern you
that our own sister’s
a sitting duck out there?
You know, I’m going to
get her over here.
Only now, we can’t ’cause
her phone lines are out!
Big deal! Probably just
a tree branch somewhere.
Oh, I’m glad
you’re so concerned.
Hey, get a life. Okay?
Fine!
[siren wailing]
‐Jimmy, what’s up?
‐It’s real.
Final cloud’s been spotted by...
found moving south‐west.
Need spotters.
‐All right, I’m on it.
‐[indistinct chatter]
Matthew!
Zachary, let’s go, guys,
come on!
We’re all going in the basement!
Let’s go!
All right, where is it?
Can you see it?
Matthew! Matthew Brock,
get in here.
What are you doing?
Get in there!
Where’s your brother? Zachary!
Mom, Mike... got $300
for his video of the...
I don’t care, I don’t care.
Go in the basement!
[yelling] Zachary Brock!
Zachary Brock,
I’m not fooling around!
Zachary.
[yelling] Zachary!
Zachary, we’ve got to
get in the basement.
Come on, now.
‐[yelling] Zachary Brock!
‐[Douglas] Hurry up, Myriam.
‐[Myriam] I’m hurrying,
‐Myriam, hurry up.
‐Come on, Myriam.
‐It’s very difficult.
‐A little oomph.
The tornado is coming.
‐I know.
Don’t you know a tornado
when you see one?
‐Just get in. I’ll hold the mat.
‐All right, I’ll get in.
‐Okay, you all right?
‐Yeah.
‐Okay.
‐Okay, very good.
Wait a minute,
where are you going?
What do you mean,
where am I going?
There’s no room. Under the sink.
‐Under the sink.
‐God!
There is room,
now just move over!
All right, all right! All right.
‐Okay, now let’s get
this mattress up.
‐Ooh, my foot!
‐Get your feet away!
‐Get the mattress up!
‐[Douglas] Oh, my God.
‐[both groaning]
Brian, call St. Francis
Nursing Home.
Tell them to
get in the basement.
Got it.
Jimmy, Jill’s on the phone.
‐I have to call back.
‐She says it’s urgent.
His bicycle is missing.
I’ve called all of his friends.
I think he went to Kimberly’s.
‐What?
‐He’s been so concerned
about her
because her phone is out.
I think he went to see Kimberly.
Okay, okay. Uh...
There’s only one road there
from the house,
Route 23. I’ll go.
You and Matthew
get in the basement
and stay there.
Okay, but hurry, Jimmy. Hurry!
And call me the second
that you find him.
Ah. [sighs]
Matthew, Matthew, honey,
you go in the basement.
I’m going to find your brother.
Come on.
‐Come on.
‐You expect me
to stay here alone
while a tornado
creams the house?
‐No way!
‐Matthew, do what I say!
See, this is difficult.
You care more about Zack
‐than you do about me.
‐Oh, Matthew.
It’s true! Ever since
I ran over him with the car.
‐It was an accident.
‐I don’t have time for this.
Come on, come on.
‐Yes, yes!
‐Come on, let’s go, let’s go.
[Jill squeals]
Aren’t you going to the cellar?
‐You go.
‐But...
I consider myself
a rational person, Carter.
If a tornado should happen
to pass this way,
I don’t see how having
a 10‐ton house on top of me
‐much helps matters.
‐Huh.
You think I’m making a mistake,
don’t you? Blowing Sue off.
I think you’re being
a total jackass.
[sighs] I can’t get her
out of my mind.
Could I seriously be
attracted to a women
who loves Hermann Hesse?
Carter, go to
the cellar. Please.
I mean, she’s not unintelligent.
[Judge Bone]
Cut it out, Carter.
This isn’t about intelligence.
And it isn’t about
Hermann Hesse either.
It’s about you...
and your fear of rejection.
What?
Oh, come on, Carter.
Don’t play that game with me.
‐I’m too old.
‐What game?
She obviously likes you.
God knows why!
Considering your behavior.
Her boss knows
all about me, Judge.
‐So?
‐So, sooner or later,
she’s going
to know all about me.
The date with a transsexual,
belief in UFOs,
the misdiagnosing a dead woman.
Need I continue?
Let me understand this.
You’d prefer a woman
who knows absolutely
nothing about you?
[laughing] Of course!
Go to the cellar.
I need to remake myself, Judge.
My life has been nothing
but a public car wreck
up to this point
But it’s your life.
You think you can
disguise it somehow?
‐I can try.
‐You’re a human being
with certain inalienable rights.
Including the right to make
a total fool of yourself
and go on living.
For God’s sake, man!
You think you’re the only person
with a blot on his past?
You think Sue’s
never done anything
she’s ashamed of?
Never thought about it
like that.
No kidding.
She does like me, doesn’t she?
I’m reading.
You’re right.
This isn’t about Hermann Hesse.
It isn’t even about Sue.
It’s about me!
She’s great!
I’m the one who’s screwed up.
‐Carter.
‐I’ve got to tell her.
There’s a tornado out there.
It’s not her. It’s me!
[sighs]
[gasps]
[tires screeching]
Oh, my God!
[siren wailing]
Carter! Carter, get over here!
[yelling] It’s coming!
Yeah, I know it’s coming.
I can just...
Trees and power lines down
all over the place.
It’s coming too fast.
We’re never going to get out.
Okay, don’t panic.
I know the drill.
Our best bet is
a highway underpass.
‐They afford excellent shelter.
‐Carter, do you see
a highway underpass around here?
There’s a bunker over there.
Come on, let’s go
‐Come on!
‐This would be
my next suggestion.
Fish! It’s raining fish!
‐Carter!
‐Four, five hundred
yards across!
I’d say an F4 for sure
[laughs loudly]
I’m erect!
‐[Carter shouting] I’m erect!
‐Carter!
‐Kim!
‐Zack, what are you doing?
‐Are you okay?
‐I’m fine.
‐Tornado!
‐What about it?
It’s coming this way!
No, it’s not. The sirens stopped
a few minutes ago.
It’s all over.
‐Oh.
‐We were hoping to
take a look at it.
Really?
‐Zachary!
‐[Kimberley] Mom?
God, Zachary.
‐Are you okay?
‐Yeah.
Boy, are you going to get it.
[chuckling] Everyone,
this is my mother,
Dr. Jill Brock
and my brother, Matthew.
Zack!
And this is my father,
Sheriff James Brock.
Is he all right?
I’m fine.
You are grounded for life,
young man.
[scoffs] Well, everyone,
meet the Brocks.
[Carter grunts] We made it!
[Carter whooping and sighs]
‐[Kenny coughing]
‐How about that!
We’re alive! We should be dead,
‐Carter, easy tiger.
‐...but we’re alive.
That thing went
straight over us.
[Carter whoops and laughs]
What do you think?
Do you think it’s a sign,
huh? Maybe.
Something about second chances.
Reaping the whirlwind.
Maybe we’ve been spared
for a reason.
Maybe, we’re supposed to rebuild
our lives, you know?
Saul of Tarsus,
blinded by the light!
[Carter sighs] Then again,
maybe it was a completely
random act of nature
We’re atoms alone,
caught in a colloidal
suspension of Brownian Motion.
[sighs deeply]
"For they have sown the wind...
and they shall
reap the whirlwind."
What?
Sister Mary Francis used to
say that all the time.
"For they have sown the wind
and they shall
reap the whirlwind."
I never understood
what that meant.
[sighs]
Hey, hey, where are you going?
Hey, you want to go grab a beer
or something?
‐Nah.
‐No, no, no, you’re right.
We don’t need
any artificial intoxicants,
we’re on a natural high!
[Carter cheers]
Let’s revel in
the endorphin rush.
‐[Kenny] Endorphin rush.
‐Go polypeptides. [cheers]
[Kenny] Endorphin rush!
‐Can’t believe we’re alive!
‐[Kenny whoops]
My car! It’s going to cost
a lot. A lot of damage.
[male reporter] And so,
the cleanup begins.
Initial estimates
are that Hogan County
escaped with miraculously
little damage
and no fatalities.
The twister touched down
briefly in two areas.
‐The Whispering Pines...
‐I left some fresh sheets
in the closet and...
‐there’s a pop roast
in the oven.
‐Where are we going?
I’m leaving you, Douglas.
Myriam!
I’ll be at Selma’s.
I demand an explanation.
An explanation?
Twenty years ago,
when the last tornado came,
we lay in that bathtub together.
I was in your arms.
And, I thought,
I don’t mind dying
with this man.
I didn’t feel that way
this time, Douglas.
What?
You know, a lot can happen
in 20 years.
Where’s the love,
the tenderness,
the consideration.
Myriam.
Oh, I’m not holding you
solely responsible.
I would’ve kept going
right along with it.
If it hadn’t been
for the tornado.
But as I was sitting
in the bathtub,
thinking about dying, I realized
I want more out of life
than I’m getting.
I do not want to die
with you, Douglas.
‐Myriam. But, Myriam, wait.
‐I’m sorry.
Wait, Myriam.
if it’s, uh...
something I did, I apologize.
Was it the party? I admit,
I had too much champagne.
[sighs]
There’s nothing left, Douglas.
Richard, call DWP.
Make sure they know about
the downed power lines
‐and wild wood.
‐Okay, Jimmy.
Kenny, how’re you doing?
Fine, Jimmy, um...
‐Can I have a word with you
in private, please?
‐Yeah. Come on.
‐What’s up?
‐[sighs]
There’s a case coming up
for trial soon.
You’re going to hear
certain things about me.
Certain allegations.
And I want you to know
that, uh...
‐That they’re true.
‐Hmm.
‐What allegations are we‐‐
‐I don’t believe it!
‐Oh, we’re having
a conference right now.
‐My sting operation,
it’s ruined.
‐What?
‐Some moron
put stereo speakers
next to my tapes.
‐Wiped out everything.
‐Stereo speaker can do that?
[scoffs] Feel this, Jimmy.
Magnet must weigh ten pounds.
So we don’t have a case?
I just came from
Littleton’s office.
He says, we have
to kick everything.
Aren’t there rules about
evidence rooms, Jimmy?
How can this happen?
Yeah, I... I... I don’t know.
But, I will start
an investigation right away.
A lot of good that’ll do me.
This was my bust!
It was a very good
bust too, Max.
I promise you,
there will be others.
I want names, Jimmy.
[sighs] What allegations?
Um... Somebody saw me
buying a six
while I was still
in uniform, and, uh...
See, I was
going off shift and, uh,
the store was closing
in five minutes.
I got sloppy.
That’s it?
It won’t happen again.
‐Can I go?
‐Yeah.
Thank you.
Max, hold up.
Why’d you do it?
I went to see Sherri,
she told me the whole story.
Destroying evidence
is a felony, Max.
I know.
It was a righteous bust.
Feather in your cap.
You did this for me?
We’ve been friends
a long time, Kenny.
I wasn’t going to let you
destroy yourself.
But this is it.
No more favors.
We still friends?
I don’t know.
Partners?
When you were with her,
were we still?
No.
I met her a couple of weeks ago.
Why, Kenny?
There are a lot of girls
in this town
who would like to be with you.
Why her?
We’ve got a lot in common.
[knocking at door]
We’re closed.
[softly] Oh, come on. Please.
Thanks.
[sighs] I’ve changed my mind...
again, I want the machine.
Oh.
This wasn’t about quilting, Sue.
It was never about quilting.
It was about me and...
my problem with quilting.
But I’m on top of it.
I’m aware of it.
And I’m ready to quilt.
‐Are you sure?
‐Positive.
‐Good.
‐[both chuckle]
I’ve been negotiating for you.
As of now, you’re only grounded
till you’re 30!
You’ve got to admit, Zack.
They have a pretty good reason
to be mad at you.
Going out in that storm,
that was major crazy, Zack.
I was worried... about you.
I know.
Know what else?
‐I think you’re my hero.
‐Yeah?
How many guys would’ve done
what you did for their sister?
Well, it was pretty dangerous.
Riding 10 miles
into the middle of a tornado?
I know. You know,
I think I saw it.
The tornado, I mean.
‐No.
‐You know, I can’t be sure,
but I was pedaling
really, really fast,
and went by this barn, you know.
This big, red barn.
And... You know,
I’ll show it to you,
next time we drive out there.
And... then...
through my eyes, I swear,
I could see this
funnel‐shaped cloud,
touching down.
Were you scared?
Oh, I was riding too fast
to be scared.
‐[Kimberly] What did you do?
‐[Zack] What could I do?
I just kept on pedaling.
[continues speaking
indistinctly]
[both laughing]
[Kimberly]
Are you making fun of me?
[Zack laughing]
[Jimmy] Next on
Picket Fences...
Mindy, if you’re overweight,
then stop eating so damn much.
Jill Brock, Joanna Diamond.
Hey, I know you.
You’re Dr. Joey.
Yes, that’s right, honey.
Have a pencil.
I’m going to buy your practice.
What?
You’re married to this guy?
No, I work at my job.
He come, he put me in a car,
bring me here to have sex!
Myriam, you’ve come
to your senses.
‐What’s that?
‐Papers.
I’m divorcing you, Douglas.
What?
[theme music playing]
Picket Fences...
Carter!
Mitch... Mitch!
Carter Pike in there?
No serious burns,
I was expecting
smoke inhalation,
but oxidization is 94 percent.
Have you checked
his pupils, Brian?
Something’s oppressing his CNS.
I’d say we have drugs onboard.
Since when do I need
your permission?
It’s not about permission, Max.
I don’t count.
I went to bed with a redhead,
and I woke up with Sheena,
the jungle woman.
Well, that’s pretty funny
coming from Kenny, the caveman.
That’s it.
Don’t you dare sit
in my chambers and lie to me.
You have a problem.
You tried to take your own life.
I didn’t mean for it to happen.
Twenty‐five weekends
in a row, without a date.
God, I’m so lonely. [sobbing]
Everyone thinks I broke up
with Max because of her hair,
like it’s some big joke.
[mock laughs] Had nothing
to do with the hair.
She didn’t respect me.
I’ve decided to
take in a boarder.
Maybe, you could use
those upstairs rooms.
You’d really let me
stay in your house?
[thunder rumbling]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
[male reporter] We interrupt
this program for the following
special report.
At this time,
a line of thunderstorms,
strong thunderstorms
pushing through the area...
Neat!
There’s a tornado watch!
‐Matt, Zack.
‐[female reporter]
...till midnight
in the following counties.
Brown, Hogan,
Manitowoc, Sheboygan,
Fond du Lac,
Winnebago, Outagamie and...
What’s going on?
Also a marine advisory
has been issued
for Lake Winnebago...
‐Oh... [inhales sharply]
‐Uh, who’re you going to call?
I’m calling Kimberley, honey.
She’s all alone out there.
She’s alone with
three roommates, honey.
Yes, in a crummy little house
that would blow away
‐in the first strong wind.
‐She’s 18,
she’s a college freshman.
Would you want
your mother calling you?
Oh, God!
‐[crashing]
‐Oh!
‐[Matthew] What was that?
‐Whoa!
Big tree branch fell.
Cool, they’re showing clips
of old tornados.
[man]
...display of unchecked fury.
I’ll call.
[theme music playing]
[theme music ends]
‐[Jill] Everything all right
in there?
‐Uh...
I was beginning to worry.
I had a lot of coffee
this morning.
No problem, settle down.
[chuckles softly]
Whoa, that’s some weather,
isn’t it?
‐Yeah, sure is.
‐Well,
you look pretty good
for a guy who almost died
of a drug overdose last month.
If your liver and kidney
functions check out,
‐I’m going to give you
a clean bill of health.
‐[sarcastically] Whoopie.
Tornado watch.
Used to turn me on
like a light, Jill.
Chasing tornados used to be
a sexual experience for me.
Now, check my pulse.
‐I did.
‐And?
Seventy‐four.
‐[clicks tongue]
‐What, that’s normal.
My heart should be pounding
like a trip hammer, Jill.
They brought in
a cadaver yesterday.
Suspected cysticercosis.
We’re talking tapeworms,
the size of a boa constrictor.
I took a nap.
Literally, could not stay awake
to perform the autopsy.
You sound depressed.
Very good.
Well, maybe you need
a new hobby,
or something, hmm?
[sighs] Hobby.
Well, like...
stamp collecting, or...
[chuckles]
Hey, do you know that
my cousin, Dan,
took up quilting last year?
‐Quilting?
‐Yeah.
Just an idea.
No, that’s intriguing. Quilting?
Indigenous American art form
combining regional style
and individual sensibility.
Solitary pursuit,
which is perfect in my case.
Requiring a...
high level of manual dexterity,
which I have!
Plus, artistic temperament.
Which I could develop.
[softly] Quilting.
Incoming from
the weather service, Jimmy.
They’ve extended the watch
to 3:00 p. m.
Okay, thanks, Maxine.
You want me to call in
the night shift?
No, not unless something hits.
Uh, check with dispatch.
Make sure we’ve alerted
all the hospitals and schools.
‐Right.
‐The usual.
‐[inhales] What?
‐Nice tie.
Oh, thank you.
Jill picked it out for me.
No, no, no, I mean it.
The Mayor’s right,
you do look good in civvies.
She told you that?
In so many words.
What’d she say?
Her exact words?
Well?
Nice buns.
’Morning Sheriff.
Tornado pool, sir.
[Douglas] It’s coming Saturday!
Here, put me down
for Saturday, 3:00.
I feel it in my bladder.
Ooh, a nice tie.
Do you want something, Doug,
or did you just come by
to reveal the secrets
of your prostate?
You didn’t RSVP.
Our anniversary bash.
40 years shackled to Myriam.
‐It’s going to be
a major blowout.
‐And Jill
told me to call.
I’m sorry, I will be there.
Who’d have believed it?
40 years!
Yet, the Wambaugh marriage
seems sailing along...
Excuse me, Kenny, uh,
my office please.
...limping home to port.
Kenny, don’t forget
my anniversary.
We’ve got a problem.
This witness statement
in the Boyd case is a disaster.
Dates are off.
The spelling is lousy.
He didn’t even get
the address right.
‐I’m on it.
‐What’s with the shirt?
We may have relaxed
uniform regs, Kenny,
we didn’t throw
discipline out the window.
‐That’s it?
‐No, that’s not it.
I don’t like what
I’m seeing here.
You’re not in a ball,
ever since... [inhales]
...you and Max broke up.
That’s got nothing to do
with it, Jimmy, I told you.
It’s over and done!
I’m just tired, that’s all.
I’ve been pulling double shifts.
It’s under control. Okay?
In Fond du Lac county,
a funnel cloud was spotted
at around 4:30 this afternoon.
It didn’t touch ground.
We’re repeating
our top story this...
There’s nothing on, but these
stupid weather reports.
[speaking indistinctly]
Thank you.
Nice wheels.
Ditto.
Your vehicle?
Yeah.
‐Police officer.
‐Oh, give me a break.
You step out of the cab
and don’t even
think about running away.
Is there a problem, officer?
License and registration.
See what happened was...
I took a wrong turn back on 41
and I was asking
this young lady for directions.
License and registration.
Look, man,
I’ve never done
anything like this before
in my life, I swear.
This gets on my file,
I’m out of a job.
Understand what I’m saying?
My wife...
She’s an understanding
woman, but...
Your left taillight.
It’s broke.
Next time, it’s a $30 fine.
[exhales] Right.
Thank you, man.
Thank you. [chuckles]
Rome police. [sighs]
Number one in my book.
Number one.
I got tired of waiting.
I got hung up.
Paperwork.
[moans] Wait, wait, wait.
Let’s got to my place.
‐Yes.
‐Okay, yeah.
So how’s it shaking, baby?
Uh, you know.
I work, I eat, I watch TV.
Life is full.
You have to smoke?
It never bothered you before.
Well, it’s bothering me now.
What’s the matter, baby?
Nothing.
By the way, you and
your girlfriends better cool it
on that CB stuff.
We’re getting calls
at the station.
People are getting wise.
Couple more months... I’m out.
I told you,
it’s just short term.
‐But thank you.
‐Yeah, you know what?
This place stinks.
You ever, ever think of
cleaning it up?
What’s wrong, Kenny?
Don’t I make you happy?
Yeah, sure.
Hey, I told you, you don’t
have to pay me. I like you.
I don’t mind.
You want another beer
or something?
No.
Just thinking about my future.
My career. [snickers]
It’s a joke.
My boss thinks I’m an idiot.
Just a trigger finger,
that’s all.
My personal life?
I’m pulling two shifts
just so I don’t have to
think about my personal life.
[Kenny scoffs]
I’ve got nothing.
Nothing going for me.
You’ve got me.
Yeah. [exhales sharply]
Matthew, Zachary.
You’re going to be late
for school.
‐So will I...
‐Oh, Jimmy, look at your tie.
Wait... [chuckles] Oh, God.
‐Can’t go to work
looking like that.
‐Honey, don’t.
You know, I’ve been thinking,
Kimberley doesn’t have
a basement in her new house.
‐So?
‐So, what if a tornado hits?
Oh, honey, a tornado is not
going to hit Kimberley’s house.
And what if it does?
In the middle of the night?
Well, we just hope
she’s not home.
I’ll call from work,
make sure she looks for a...
High school building
or something that
has a basement in it, okay?
And what if she
can’t get there in time?
‐You’re being your mother.
‐[groaning]
Have you ever quilted before?
No, but I have the capacity
for unbelievable obsessions.
It’s a character trait of mine.
[chuckles softly]
[laughs]
How much is this machine?
‐Ouch!
‐Well, you picked
the top of the line.
$1,630.
It’s got over
400 stitch patterns,
fully computerized
and interfaces with your PC.
Costs as much as a small car.
[giggles] Well, now,
here’s a model
that’s perfectly suited
to your needs
‐for only a quarter
of the price.
‐Hmm.
‐It’s got very
high‐quality stitching...
‐Mm‐hmm.
...over 16 computerized patterns
and it’s the least expensive
machine that still comes
with a knee lifter.
‐That’s important?
‐Oh, it’s essential,
if you’re going to be quilting.
It means that you can
lift up the presser foot
and lower the feed dogs
while keeping both hands
on the quilt.
Presser foot?
Yes, this doohickey right here.
‐Right!
‐[chuckles] And for you
obsessive types,
it has a storage and toolbox
attached right to the case.
‐Ooh.
‐Typical Swiss engineering.
You put your screwdriver
in backwards
‐and you can’t close the box.
‐Oh, I like that.
As with all our
high‐end machines,
this one comes with
eight hours free instruction.
Great! Who gives
the instruction?
I do.
‐[cork pops loudly]
‐[Wambaugh laughing]
Doug, Doug, please,
take it easy.
Myriam, 40 years of marriage.
If ever there was
an occasion to drink,
this is it!
‐Henry! Thank you
for coming, Henry
‐[Henry cheering]
Mazel tov, everybody! Thank you!
‐Only on happy occasions. Jill.
‐Congratulations.
‐Jimmy!
‐Ah, it’s a wonderful party,
wonderful party.
‐Congratulations.
‐I hope that we’re as happy
as you are on our 40th.
‐It’s the champagne, believe me.
‐[all laughing]
Well, where’s Deputy Stewart?
Uh, she’s on
special assignment tonight.
Too bad. I’m giving a speech.
She would’ve loved it.
To your health, Kenny.
To your health.
Max is on special assignment?
A little sting operation
she set up with night‐shift.
Uh, she’s trying
the plain clothes on,
thought I’d give her a shot.
Well, I’ve been interested
in plain clothes, too, Jimmy.
Come up with an idea
and let me know, huh?
Meanwhile, good job
on that Boyd report.
‐Thanks.
‐Yeah.
[glass clinking]
I’d like to make a toast
to Myriam and Douglas
on their ruby
wedding anniversary.
[everyone] Myriam and Douglas!
[laughs] Thank you,
thank you, my friends!
It’s so nice to see you all.
My heart is lit
with a golden glow.
This is the part
where you call on me
to say a few words.
Why don’t you say
a few words, Doug?
Ah, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
They say that a married couple
is well suited
when they feel the need
to quarrel at the same time.
If so,
Myriam and I
are a perfect match.
After each argument,
we patch things up.
‐My chin, my nose, my head!
‐[everyone laughs]
Ah, it’s like they say,
that marriage is
a great institution.
But who wants to live
in an institution?
[everyone laughs loudly]
It’s 40 years...
What a wedding.
It seems like yesterday.
Wonderful ceremony.
After the ceremony,
I went over to the Rabbi
and I asked him,
how much do I owe you
for performing the ceremony?
He says, "Ah, pay me
what you think its worth."
Well, I put my hand
in my pocket.
All I had there was a dollar.
What could I do?
I hand him the dollar.
He takes one look at Myriam.
‐He gave me 50 cents change.
‐[everyone laughs]
I shouldn’t be laughing.
I don’t know how
you put up with him.
Oh God, that’s funny!
Uh, thanks for...
meeting me, Sue.
I’ve, uh... [sighs]
...been having second thoughts
spending all that money
on a sewing machine.
Oh, you won’t regret it.
I think you’re going to
love quilting, Carter.
The steady sound
of your machine. The...
The work of your hands
as you create something unique.
Piece by piece.
Stitch by stitch.
So who had the decaf latte
and who had the cappuccino?
[sighs deeply] Cappuccino.
Thank you.
[sighs] So...
[giggles] So you’re a doctor?
That’s right. [clears throat]
I’m the medical examiner
for Hogan County.
Wow! That sounds important.
You’re new around here,
aren’t you?
Well, I moved from Minneapolis
two months ago.
People told me that Rome
was a little strange,
but I don’t think so.
It’s... It’s just
a little lonely.
Hmm, yeah, I know what you mean.
I’m sorry about your house.
What?
Didn’t your house
burn down recently?
Who told you about that?
Nancy, she owns the shop.
She says she knows
all about you. [chuckles]
I guess you’re something
of a celebrity around here, huh?
‐[chuckles] What else
did she tell you?
‐Oh, that was it.
She was running out the door
at the time, so I guess
I’ll get the whole
story tomorrow.
Unless, you want to tell me.
No, I’ll...
I’ll let Nancy do it.
You’re just being modest.
[giggles]
So what else do you do
besides quilting?
Do you like to read?
I love to read.
Really, who’s your
favorite author?
Oh, I don’t know.
That’s so hard.
Um, Hermann Hesse
Did you ever read Steppenwolf?
‐That was great.
‐[Sue sighs]
I mean, of course,
they’re all so good.
Siddhartha, Demian,
The Glass Bead Game.
So when do you want to
start your lessons?
[exhales]
Can I call you tomorrow?
Sure.
To your right.
You’ve got this all wrong.
Save it, Sherri.
I’ve got it all on tape.
You’ve got any brains,
you’ll plead to
a Class A misdemeanor.
To your left.
You’re going to put me in jail?
You can bond out,
as long as you agree
to make arraignment on Tuesday.
You got everything on tape?
I’ve got audio of you soliciting
sex for hire on the CB.
I’ve got video of you
meeting our man
at the truck stop.
I was in the van across the lot.
I’d like to speak
to Deputy Lacos.
‐Excuse me.
‐Kenny Lacos
This is his station, right?
What do you want
to talk to him for?
I don’t have to tell you.
Deputy Lacos is off duty.
So you can call him, can’t you?
555‐0913.
As soon as you post bond,
you can drop a dime,
like everyone else.
Wipe your hands.
Oh, for God’s sakes, Myriam.
Will you ever get out of there?
No, I’m going to spend
the rest of my life
in the bathroom, so you can make
another joke out of it.
You’re overreacting.
Never been so humiliated
in my life.
‐Oh, yes, you have.
‐You know,
you took what should’ve been
a beautiful occasion
‐and you turned it into a‐‐
‐A joke fest.
So, what’s the big deal?
You shamed me.
In front of all our friends,
you shame me?
And on our anniversary...
They weren’t laughing at you.
‐They were laughing with me!
‐Well, they shouldn’t
have been laughing at all!
There should’ve been dancing
and romance and...
Oh... Never mind.
Oh, so? [clicks tongue]
I had a few drinks. So what?
I’m a character.
Everybody knows that.
Myriam, open the door.
Myriam, don’t be silly.
[banging on door] Myriam!
[knock at door]
Max?
You know a girl
named Sherri Watkins?
‐Who?
‐Sherri Watkins?
Late 20s, red hair.
Too much makeup,
cheap perfume. Ring any bells?
No. Should it?
You certainly ring her bell.
We picked her up tonight.
Little sting operation
at the truck stop.
She’s a lot lizard, Kenny.
You know, one of the hookers
who makes with
the truck drivers.
When I booked her,
she asked for you. Why?
Wait a minute.
Sherri Watkins, yeah.
Small, kind of pretty.
Yeah, she helped me out
with a phantom case,
last year. Remember?
Yeah, unnamed informant.
So you picked her up tonight?
I guess, that’s her tough luck.
Guess so.
Well, congratulations.
She knew your telephone number.
So?
So I hope you’re
telling the truth.
Meaning what?
Meaning, I don’t know
what’s happened to you lately.
‐Ever since we broke up‐‐
‐Look, Max,
it was my choice,
I can handle it
All right?
It was the right thing to do.
Kenny, you get in a hole
sometimes, you know.
You start drinking,
do a lot of stupid things.
Are you having an affair
with that girl?
No.
And what if I was? So what?
"So"? She’s a hooker.
It can ruin your career.
You’re the one
with the career, Max.
My life’s going nowhere.
Kenny, you have a lot of faults.
Self‐pity...
was never one of them.
‐[knocks on door]
‐It’s me, Kenny, open up!
‐What is it?
‐What is it?
You asked for me
at the Sheriff’s station
and you want to know,
"what is it"?
‐I need help.
‐Well, I can’t help you.
‐You’re a cop.
‐You shouldn’t have
mentioned my name!
I’m sorry. I got scared.
You should’ve tipped me off.
I didn’t know anything
about it until tonight.
Besides, I told you,
cut that stuff out!
You’ve got to fix it, Kenny.
You’ve got to make tings right.
I can’t fix it, Sherri.
What do you think I am?
Some kind of magic man?
I wave a wand
and everything disappears?
You’ve got to fix it!
You were stupid!
I know, Kenny, please.
You’re a whore.
You got caught being a whore.
That’s all there is to it.
Yeah, I’m a whore?
Well, what does that make you?
You son of a bitch!
This has got nothing
to do with me.
If I’m in a sewer,
you’re right down there with me.
You leave me out of it.
All right?
I’m on probation.
They can send me away this time.
You’ve got to get me
out of this, you’ve got to.
‐Or I’ll tell them everything.
‐Just shut up!
You want me to beg?
I’ll beg.
I need you to help me, Kenny.
[sobbing] Please.
How can I help you, Sherri?
They’ve got everything on tape.
Everything on tape.
[rings bell]
[gasps] Oh, God, it’s her.
The girl who’s called
six times today?
I’m not here, I’m, uh,
working on a tapeworm.
Hi, I’m Sue Walsh
from Bobbin and Threads.
I’m looking for Carter.
Is he in?
‐Carter?
‐Carter Pike.
Mid‐thirties, glasses,
about so high.
Oh, that Carter.
‐Yeah.
‐Yes, yes.
Yes, he’s here.
Carter.
‐Sue!
‐Hi.
‐Hi
‐I... I’ve got your machine
in the car.
Really?
Well, uh, if you’ll excuse me.
I have to go polish,
uh... something.
You see, um...
It’s going to be a problem, Sue,
I’ve, uh...
I’ve changed my mind.
What? You don’t want it?
But, last night you‐‐
I know, I know, I was, uh,
rechecking my finances.
Cash flow, earnings projections
and, uh...
Oh, boy,
an expensive sewing machine
is an extravagance
I just can’t afford right now.
Well, we have all sorts of
financial plans, Carter
‐For as little as $40 a month‐‐
‐I just don’t think
I can do it, Sue.
I’m sorry.
Oh, okay.
I really appreciate
you coming by.
No problem.
Watch out for the weather.
You mind telling me
what that little fiasco
was all about?
We went out on a date
last night, kind of...
And?
‐Well, she seems very nice.
‐She is very nice.
How could I possibly
get involved with someone
who’s favorite author
is Hermann Hesse?
‐What?
‐She told me her favorite author
is Hermann Hesse.
‐What’s wrong with Hesse?
‐Come on, Judge,
talk about
metaphysical pretension,
"Maya, Maya, all is Maya."
Give me a break.
For goodness sake, Carter.
The other day,
you were telling me
how lonely you are.
Now, you turn down
a perfectly nice woman
because she happens
to like Hermann Hesse?
I may be lonely,
but I’m not that lonely.
Matthew!
‐Kim’s phone lines are down.
‐What?
Look, I tried calling Kim.
The phone company says
her phone lines are out.
What do you keep
calling her for?
Somebody’s got to hold
this family together.
Hey, give me a break.
I heard Mom telling Dad that
Kimberley’s house
‐doesn’t have a basement.
‐So?
So it doesn’t concern you
that our own sister’s
a sitting duck out there?
You know, I’m going to
get her over here.
Only now, we can’t ’cause
her phone lines are out!
Big deal! Probably just
a tree branch somewhere.
Oh, I’m glad
you’re so concerned.
Hey, get a life. Okay?
Fine!
[siren wailing]
‐Jimmy, what’s up?
‐It’s real.
Final cloud’s been spotted by...
found moving south‐west.
Need spotters.
‐All right, I’m on it.
‐[indistinct chatter]
Matthew!
Zachary, let’s go, guys,
come on!
We’re all going in the basement!
Let’s go!
All right, where is it?
Can you see it?
Matthew! Matthew Brock,
get in here.
What are you doing?
Get in there!
Where’s your brother? Zachary!
Mom, Mike... got $300
for his video of the...
I don’t care, I don’t care.
Go in the basement!
[yelling] Zachary Brock!
Zachary Brock,
I’m not fooling around!
Zachary.
[yelling] Zachary!
Zachary, we’ve got to
get in the basement.
Come on, now.
‐[yelling] Zachary Brock!
‐[Douglas] Hurry up, Myriam.
‐[Myriam] I’m hurrying,
‐Myriam, hurry up.
‐Come on, Myriam.
‐It’s very difficult.
‐A little oomph.
The tornado is coming.
‐I know.
Don’t you know a tornado
when you see one?
‐Just get in. I’ll hold the mat.
‐All right, I’ll get in.
‐Okay, you all right?
‐Yeah.
‐Okay.
‐Okay, very good.
Wait a minute,
where are you going?
What do you mean,
where am I going?
There’s no room. Under the sink.
‐Under the sink.
‐God!
There is room,
now just move over!
All right, all right! All right.
‐Okay, now let’s get
this mattress up.
‐Ooh, my foot!
‐Get your feet away!
‐Get the mattress up!
‐[Douglas] Oh, my God.
‐[both groaning]
Brian, call St. Francis
Nursing Home.
Tell them to
get in the basement.
Got it.
Jimmy, Jill’s on the phone.
‐I have to call back.
‐She says it’s urgent.
His bicycle is missing.
I’ve called all of his friends.
I think he went to Kimberly’s.
‐What?
‐He’s been so concerned
about her
because her phone is out.
I think he went to see Kimberly.
Okay, okay. Uh...
There’s only one road there
from the house,
Route 23. I’ll go.
You and Matthew
get in the basement
and stay there.
Okay, but hurry, Jimmy. Hurry!
And call me the second
that you find him.
Ah. [sighs]
Matthew, Matthew, honey,
you go in the basement.
I’m going to find your brother.
Come on.
‐Come on.
‐You expect me
to stay here alone
while a tornado
creams the house?
‐No way!
‐Matthew, do what I say!
See, this is difficult.
You care more about Zack
‐than you do about me.
‐Oh, Matthew.
It’s true! Ever since
I ran over him with the car.
‐It was an accident.
‐I don’t have time for this.
Come on, come on.
‐Yes, yes!
‐Come on, let’s go, let’s go.
[Jill squeals]
Aren’t you going to the cellar?
‐You go.
‐But...
I consider myself
a rational person, Carter.
If a tornado should happen
to pass this way,
I don’t see how having
a 10‐ton house on top of me
‐much helps matters.
‐Huh.
You think I’m making a mistake,
don’t you? Blowing Sue off.
I think you’re being
a total jackass.
[sighs] I can’t get her
out of my mind.
Could I seriously be
attracted to a women
who loves Hermann Hesse?
Carter, go to
the cellar. Please.
I mean, she’s not unintelligent.
[Judge Bone]
Cut it out, Carter.
This isn’t about intelligence.
And it isn’t about
Hermann Hesse either.
It’s about you...
and your fear of rejection.
What?
Oh, come on, Carter.
Don’t play that game with me.
‐I’m too old.
‐What game?
She obviously likes you.
God knows why!
Considering your behavior.
Her boss knows
all about me, Judge.
‐So?
‐So, sooner or later,
she’s going
to know all about me.
The date with a transsexual,
belief in UFOs,
the misdiagnosing a dead woman.
Need I continue?
Let me understand this.
You’d prefer a woman
who knows absolutely
nothing about you?
[laughing] Of course!
Go to the cellar.
I need to remake myself, Judge.
My life has been nothing
but a public car wreck
up to this point
But it’s your life.
You think you can
disguise it somehow?
‐I can try.
‐You’re a human being
with certain inalienable rights.
Including the right to make
a total fool of yourself
and go on living.
For God’s sake, man!
You think you’re the only person
with a blot on his past?
You think Sue’s
never done anything
she’s ashamed of?
Never thought about it
like that.
No kidding.
She does like me, doesn’t she?
I’m reading.
You’re right.
This isn’t about Hermann Hesse.
It isn’t even about Sue.
It’s about me!
She’s great!
I’m the one who’s screwed up.
‐Carter.
‐I’ve got to tell her.
There’s a tornado out there.
It’s not her. It’s me!
[sighs]
[gasps]
[tires screeching]
Oh, my God!
[siren wailing]
Carter! Carter, get over here!
[yelling] It’s coming!
Yeah, I know it’s coming.
I can just...
Trees and power lines down
all over the place.
It’s coming too fast.
We’re never going to get out.
Okay, don’t panic.
I know the drill.
Our best bet is
a highway underpass.
‐They afford excellent shelter.
‐Carter, do you see
a highway underpass around here?
There’s a bunker over there.
Come on, let’s go
‐Come on!
‐This would be
my next suggestion.
Fish! It’s raining fish!
‐Carter!
‐Four, five hundred
yards across!
I’d say an F4 for sure
[laughs loudly]
I’m erect!
‐[Carter shouting] I’m erect!
‐Carter!
‐Kim!
‐Zack, what are you doing?
‐Are you okay?
‐I’m fine.
‐Tornado!
‐What about it?
It’s coming this way!
No, it’s not. The sirens stopped
a few minutes ago.
It’s all over.
‐Oh.
‐We were hoping to
take a look at it.
Really?
‐Zachary!
‐[Kimberley] Mom?
God, Zachary.
‐Are you okay?
‐Yeah.
Boy, are you going to get it.
[chuckling] Everyone,
this is my mother,
Dr. Jill Brock
and my brother, Matthew.
Zack!
And this is my father,
Sheriff James Brock.
Is he all right?
I’m fine.
You are grounded for life,
young man.
[scoffs] Well, everyone,
meet the Brocks.
[Carter grunts] We made it!
[Carter whooping and sighs]
‐[Kenny coughing]
‐How about that!
We’re alive! We should be dead,
‐Carter, easy tiger.
‐...but we’re alive.
That thing went
straight over us.
[Carter whoops and laughs]
What do you think?
Do you think it’s a sign,
huh? Maybe.
Something about second chances.
Reaping the whirlwind.
Maybe we’ve been spared
for a reason.
Maybe, we’re supposed to rebuild
our lives, you know?
Saul of Tarsus,
blinded by the light!
[Carter sighs] Then again,
maybe it was a completely
random act of nature
We’re atoms alone,
caught in a colloidal
suspension of Brownian Motion.
[sighs deeply]
"For they have sown the wind...
and they shall
reap the whirlwind."
What?
Sister Mary Francis used to
say that all the time.
"For they have sown the wind
and they shall
reap the whirlwind."
I never understood
what that meant.
[sighs]
Hey, hey, where are you going?
Hey, you want to go grab a beer
or something?
‐Nah.
‐No, no, no, you’re right.
We don’t need
any artificial intoxicants,
we’re on a natural high!
[Carter cheers]
Let’s revel in
the endorphin rush.
‐[Kenny] Endorphin rush.
‐Go polypeptides. [cheers]
[Kenny] Endorphin rush!
‐Can’t believe we’re alive!
‐[Kenny whoops]
My car! It’s going to cost
a lot. A lot of damage.
[male reporter] And so,
the cleanup begins.
Initial estimates
are that Hogan County
escaped with miraculously
little damage
and no fatalities.
The twister touched down
briefly in two areas.
‐The Whispering Pines...
‐I left some fresh sheets
in the closet and...
‐there’s a pop roast
in the oven.
‐Where are we going?
I’m leaving you, Douglas.
Myriam!
I’ll be at Selma’s.
I demand an explanation.
An explanation?
Twenty years ago,
when the last tornado came,
we lay in that bathtub together.
I was in your arms.
And, I thought,
I don’t mind dying
with this man.
I didn’t feel that way
this time, Douglas.
What?
You know, a lot can happen
in 20 years.
Where’s the love,
the tenderness,
the consideration.
Myriam.
Oh, I’m not holding you
solely responsible.
I would’ve kept going
right along with it.
If it hadn’t been
for the tornado.
But as I was sitting
in the bathtub,
thinking about dying, I realized
I want more out of life
than I’m getting.
I do not want to die
with you, Douglas.
‐Myriam. But, Myriam, wait.
‐I’m sorry.
Wait, Myriam.
if it’s, uh...
something I did, I apologize.
Was it the party? I admit,
I had too much champagne.
[sighs]
There’s nothing left, Douglas.
Richard, call DWP.
Make sure they know about
the downed power lines
‐and wild wood.
‐Okay, Jimmy.
Kenny, how’re you doing?
Fine, Jimmy, um...
‐Can I have a word with you
in private, please?
‐Yeah. Come on.
‐What’s up?
‐[sighs]
There’s a case coming up
for trial soon.
You’re going to hear
certain things about me.
Certain allegations.
And I want you to know
that, uh...
‐That they’re true.
‐Hmm.
‐What allegations are we‐‐
‐I don’t believe it!
‐Oh, we’re having
a conference right now.
‐My sting operation,
it’s ruined.
‐What?
‐Some moron
put stereo speakers
next to my tapes.
‐Wiped out everything.
‐Stereo speaker can do that?
[scoffs] Feel this, Jimmy.
Magnet must weigh ten pounds.
So we don’t have a case?
I just came from
Littleton’s office.
He says, we have
to kick everything.
Aren’t there rules about
evidence rooms, Jimmy?
How can this happen?
Yeah, I... I... I don’t know.
But, I will start
an investigation right away.
A lot of good that’ll do me.
This was my bust!
It was a very good
bust too, Max.
I promise you,
there will be others.
I want names, Jimmy.
[sighs] What allegations?
Um... Somebody saw me
buying a six
while I was still
in uniform, and, uh...
See, I was
going off shift and, uh,
the store was closing
in five minutes.
I got sloppy.
That’s it?
It won’t happen again.
‐Can I go?
‐Yeah.
Thank you.
Max, hold up.
Why’d you do it?
I went to see Sherri,
she told me the whole story.
Destroying evidence
is a felony, Max.
I know.
It was a righteous bust.
Feather in your cap.
You did this for me?
We’ve been friends
a long time, Kenny.
I wasn’t going to let you
destroy yourself.
But this is it.
No more favors.
We still friends?
I don’t know.
Partners?
When you were with her,
were we still?
No.
I met her a couple of weeks ago.
Why, Kenny?
There are a lot of girls
in this town
who would like to be with you.
Why her?
We’ve got a lot in common.
[knocking at door]
We’re closed.
[softly] Oh, come on. Please.
Thanks.
[sighs] I’ve changed my mind...
again, I want the machine.
Oh.
This wasn’t about quilting, Sue.
It was never about quilting.
It was about me and...
my problem with quilting.
But I’m on top of it.
I’m aware of it.
And I’m ready to quilt.
‐Are you sure?
‐Positive.
‐Good.
‐[both chuckle]
I’ve been negotiating for you.
As of now, you’re only grounded
till you’re 30!
You’ve got to admit, Zack.
They have a pretty good reason
to be mad at you.
Going out in that storm,
that was major crazy, Zack.
I was worried... about you.
I know.
Know what else?
‐I think you’re my hero.
‐Yeah?
How many guys would’ve done
what you did for their sister?
Well, it was pretty dangerous.
Riding 10 miles
into the middle of a tornado?
I know. You know,
I think I saw it.
The tornado, I mean.
‐No.
‐You know, I can’t be sure,
but I was pedaling
really, really fast,
and went by this barn, you know.
This big, red barn.
And... You know,
I’ll show it to you,
next time we drive out there.
And... then...
through my eyes, I swear,
I could see this
funnel‐shaped cloud,
touching down.
Were you scared?
Oh, I was riding too fast
to be scared.
‐[Kimberly] What did you do?
‐[Zack] What could I do?
I just kept on pedaling.
[continues speaking
indistinctly]
[both laughing]
[Kimberly]
Are you making fun of me?
[Zack laughing]
[Jimmy] Next on
Picket Fences...
Mindy, if you’re overweight,
then stop eating so damn much.
Jill Brock, Joanna Diamond.
Hey, I know you.
You’re Dr. Joey.
Yes, that’s right, honey.
Have a pencil.
I’m going to buy your practice.
What?
You’re married to this guy?
No, I work at my job.
He come, he put me in a car,
bring me here to have sex!
Myriam, you’ve come
to your senses.
‐What’s that?
‐Papers.
I’m divorcing you, Douglas.
What?
[theme music playing]