Picket Fences (1992–1996): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Autumn of Rome - full transcript
The Mayor investigates a crooked citizen and crashes with his car just before elections start. Wambaugh runs for mayor with brass band and drums and is shot at.
We need to keep this
area clear. Come on.
FIREMAN 1:
Not a problem, Mike.
MIKE: Move out of the way.
JIMMY: You gonna cut
him out with a saw?
FIREMAN 2: It's the only way
we can get him out.
Couldn't you
peel the door back?
No, it's too crushed.
We gotta go
through the roof.
JIMMY:
Let's go, folks, come on.
PARAMEDIC: All set.
Okay, that's it.
Let's roll it back now.
Come on, Carl.
Get out of the way.
Bill? Can you hear me?
He's in and out.
The vital signs are good.
It's Jimmy.
Can you hear me, Bill?
God, there's egg salad
all over the dash and shield.
Bacon bits?
FIREMAN 3: All right,
I'll get the harness on him.
Check his mouth,
make sure his
passageway is clear.
Come on, slip it under.
I'm in charge.
I'm in charge.
I'm in complete charge.
In charge of what?
Take pictures.
No, no, wait a minute,
wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What are you doing?
If the Mayor
is incapacitated,
somebody has to take over.
You don't hold office,
Wambaugh.
The point is,
there's no Vice Mayor
or Secretary of State.
Since I'm
the mayoral candidate,
I'm the closest thing.
Get him out of here.
Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
This is Douglas Wambaugh.
Go straight up there.
DOUGLAS:
What are you trying to do?
Let's go. Straight up.
People of Rome,
do not be alarmed
by the swinging mayor.
He'll be fine.
I am ready to lead you all.
This is a fine town,
a great, great town.
We shall overcome.
Here, here,
now vote for Wambaugh.
That tree saved your life.
How do you figure?
Well, after you
choked on the sandwich,
you probably blacked out
and that's when
the car went off the road.
The steering wheel
Heimliched into your stomach
and forced the egg salad
out of your esophagus. Okay.
I don't want this
getting out, Jill.
Mayoral debate's tonight.
The last thing I need
to be questioned
on is egg salad.
Wouldn't Wambaugh love that?
Bill, you need to
go on a diet.
That's my business
and I really don't...
Listen to me, Bill.
You're obese.
Unless you take
drastic steps,
you're going to die.
I wish I could put
this to you more gently,
but your cholesterol
level is very high
and your heart is
at enormous risk.
My blood pressure
has been fine.
I'm feeling good.
Now just because
I am a little overweight...
You're a lot
overweight, Bill.
You could have
a massive coronary
in the blink of an eye.
You have no right to
speak to me like this.
I'm your doctor.
You're my patient.
I have an obligation to
speak to you like this.
Go on a diet. Now.
Jimmy, check this out.
Pictures of ledgers,
cash transactions,
records of Thigpen
Construction Company,
and look at the label
on the folder here.
OFFICER:
...what it was about.
Can you follow up?
"Bribe documentation."
Let me see that.
Do you mind, Ginny?
And here we got
Paulie Thigpen
with various town officials.
That's Harold Lunster.
Where'd you find this?
Well,
that's the best part.
They were strewn
all over the Mayor's car.
The accident knocked
open his briefcase.
Paulie Thigpen
bought off Harold.
I'm sure of it.
His petition for
the variance is due up
again this month.
What variance?
On his condo development.
He's been turned down
three times.
And this time,
I heard he was
going for the fix.
Harold's a town selectman.
He sits on the zoning board.
The fix is in.
I just know it.
Why didn't you
tell us this before?
It was
an internal investigation.
Oh, all right!
I wanted to
orchestrate the arrest
myself. Get the credit.
With the election
coming up in a month,
I could do with
a boost in public opinion.
There's enough to indict.
Go get Paulie.
A-A-Actually,
that documentation wouldn't
be completely admissible.
Why?
Well, the photos are okay.
But the records and ledgers
came into my hands through...
Well, evidently some people
went into their office
after hours
and acquired them.
September 9th break-in.
I didn't know
they were gonna bust in.
I hired some PIs
to gather evidence
and I thought
they would use
legitimate means.
Who?
I can't say.
This is great.
Oh, come on, Jimmy.
Paulie Thigpen's a crook.
He's got building
inspectors on his payroll.
He's got geological engineers
committing perjury.
And mayors
committing burglary.
Putting him away
would help this town.
Tainted evidence.
Bogus evidence.
Not even worth
my legal fees.
Adds up to bribery,
Mr. Thigpen.
The ledgers don't lie.
The ledgers show
campaign contributions.
But I'd be very
interested in knowing
just how they came
into your hands.
Well, that ain't
none of your business.
No, no, no.
See, this is my business.
Because those happen to be
my private business records
that got stolen
from this office.
And if
the Sheriff's Department
had anything to do with it,
then I'm gonna
really make it my business
to launch
a full investigation
that's gonna
clean a little house.
You want to
start investigations?
We can all play.
We'll start with
the building inspectors
you bought to get permits.
We'll talk to your employees.
The ones whose
arms got broken
after filing
workers' comp claims.
We'll dig up
your loan shark clients.
Take--Take--Take
your shot, Deputy.
Only we both know,
if you had any real evidence,
I would've
already been indicted.
Now, this is all crap.
This is about the Mayor
breaking into my office.
This is about the Mayor
committing a crime
and you two
come after me?
Well, you got that right.
We're coming after you.
Kenny.
Like I said,
take your shot.
And then do this,
give the Mayor
a little message from me.
Tell him
it's all about politics,
and politics
always come down to money.
And I got a whole lot
more of it than he does.
That it?
No.
Now here's a little something
for the two of you.
Get the hell out of here.
JIMMY: Kenny's gonna talk
to Harold Lunster tonight.
Convince him to
turn state's evidence.
That's great.
You're gonna use
illegal evidence
to secure an arrest?
Not so tight.
Walk, Daddy. Walk.
Zack, we're late.
Get off your father's feet.
Where's that sitter?
Daddy, you should be
arresting the Mayor,
not helping him.
He didn't
authorize the break-in.
But what did the Mayor know
and when did he know it?
Are you getting
any of this?
Nope. Walk, Dad.
I'm walking, I'm walking.
Honey,
you know, I'm surprised
that you didn't file charges.
Pugen is an honest man.
And why is it this stuff
always comes down on me
in a big heap?
Just once I would
like to come home,
tell you about my day,
maybe get a kiss and a verse
of Stand by Your Man.
Just once.
Daddy, this tie is gross.
Why are you getting all
dressed up anyway?
Because I'm
moderating the debate
as a citizen,
not as a sheriff.
Is this tie gross?
You look fabulous.
Come on, Zack.
Get off your
father's feet this instant.
We gotta go.
Come on, everybody.
(MARCHING BAND PLAYING
WAMBAUGH THEME SONG)
* Start a brand new day
with Wambaugh
* Pave a brand new way
with Wambaugh
* He's a friend in our need
* He's the hope that you need
DOUGLAS: Thank you.
* Douglas Wambaugh *
Thank you. Thank you.
That was the Wambaugh theme.
Thank you.
Okay, let's call this
to order, please.
Oh, wait
a minute, Jimmy.
First,
on an administrative note.
Tomorrow night
at O'Calleigh's Pub,
I will be singing
about some global issues
and I hope
you can all attend.
What's good for the world
is good for Rome.
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
WOMAN: All right!
Thank you!
JIMMY: Thank you very much.
Harold.
Do you know
what I'm saying?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I'm talking about
this picture, Harold.
I'm talking about
you taking bribes
from Paulie Thigpen.
Now you can come in
tonight willingly,
or I can take you in.
Now, I ain't
saying nothing. Oh, God.
Hey, Deputy.
Private conversation,
Paulie.
I'm probably old enough
to be your father,
and you call me Paulie.
It's Mr. Thigpen.
See, if I call you
Mr. Thigpen,
you might mistake
that as respect.
I'm a businessman.
I contribute
to this community.
I'm a taxpayer.
And I would appreciate
just a little respect, okay?
Put your filthy finger
on me ever again,
and I'll break it off.
It's okay.
All right,
the next question
for Mr. Wambaugh
comes from Frank Deenie.
Frank, please.
Who are you,
running for mayor?
You have no experience.
Experience at what, Frank?
Running up a deficit,
making inflation go up
while incumbents concentrate
on nothing more than
getting re-elected?
I don't do that.
You don't do anything.
You're the ones
the Japanese had in mind
when they called us lazy.
(CROWD MURMURING)
That's out of line.
Our government
is out of line.
We need a change.
People of Rome,
the image of
American leadership.
(ALL LAUGHING)
I show you now
the highest elected
official in Rome
pitching in the wind.
(ALL LAUGHING)
That is enough!
Is this where
our tax dollars go?
That is enough!
Where the Fire
Department lift up
fat incumbents
from crushed cars?
CROWD: No.
PUGEN: This is outrageous!
You are a public disgrace!
Quiet,
all right. Quiet.
Quiet, quiet.
Everybody quiet. Quiet down.
(GUN FIRES)
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
(ALL CLAMORING)
Wambaugh! He's been shot!
(MOANING)
Give me a local.
This is agony.
There's hardly even a mark.
There's a little redness here
under your collarbone,
but this certainly
can't be from a bullet.
Because it wasn't a bullet.
It was a BB.
A BB?
Max dropped it off.
She dug it out of the wall.
They think it bounced off him
and then went into the wood.
Douglas Wambaugh
has recovered.
Ready to reenter the race.
Hold it right there.
You're getting a tetanus.
A needle?
I'd rather be shot at.
Never mind,
this is gonna
take one second.
It wouldn't make
my glands swell?
I have to sing
tomorrow night.
You're hardly
gonna feel it.
Why would
he shoot a BB?
Oh, my goodness.
Doug, why are you
doing all this?
Singing? Running for mayor?
I have a right to be mayor.
Yes, you do,
and you have a right to
sing tomorrow night
at O'Calleigh's,
but I'm asking you why.
I'm a good lawyer.
A client comes to me,
I leave him better off.
And I could do
the same for this town.
Now, maybe so.
And since I know
you love trilogy,
I'll ask you
for the third time. Why?
What are you after?
Maybe I'm looking to squash
the very disbelief
that I'm getting
from you at this moment.
You know,
I win over 80%
of my trials. 80%!
Yeah, the point being?
The point being,
I win case after case
after case,
but still every time
I walk into that courtroom,
I hear the snickers.
I know they laugh at me.
You invite
that laughter, Doug.
You strut around
with that Wambaugh theme.
You play the clown.
I play my hand, that's all.
I play my hand.
So you're running for mayor
to change your hand?
The publicity will not
hurt my law practice,
and whether I win or lose,
Douglas Wambaugh
would wind up ahead.
I can lead this town, Jill.
You'll see. You'll all see.
Right here, Danny.
I didn't mean
to hit Wambaugh.
I was aiming for the Mayor.
The Mayor?
Yes, the Mayor, that
walking, bloated metaphor
of the American dream.
How could you possibly miss?
I hit the podium.
It must have ricocheted
into Wambaugh.
Listen, Jimmy,
arrest me if you want to,
but this was just
political protest,
nothing more.
Shooting a gun
in a crowded room
goes beyond
political protest.
"Civil disobedience
is a duty."
Henry David Thoreau.
"You're under arrest."
Dick Tracy.
You can't just
pull me in here like this!
I arrested you.
That's what I do
after arresting people.
I pull them in.
What did he do?
Go home, Danny.
I shot Wambaugh.
I was there.
Go.
Come with us, Harold.
All right,
here's the deal, Harold.
We've got evidence
you've taken a bribe.
You can either
call your lawyer
if you want to...
Why?
The bribe
was only two grand.
A lawyer
will cost me three.
Help us put away
Paulie and you go free.
Oh, Paulie would bury me.
Jail, Harold.
You could go to prison.
And who protects me
from Paulie?
I'll scare off Paulie.
Paulie doesn't scare
and you know it.
It's your decision.
You either go
to grand jury
or you go to prison.
All right, I'll talk.
But it's a gyp.
This is harassment.
You have no grounds
to hold me and you know it.
Oh, what, you're a lawyer
now, Paulie?
You're gonna tell me
the merits of my case?
You don't have a case.
All you've got
is Harold Lunster,
a washed-out
alcoholic whose credibility
will never make
reasonable doubt.
His story will
probably change
before the arraignment.
Yeah, well, why is that?
You gonna threaten him?
Now, he's got a bad memory.
But my memory,
on the other hand,
is perfect.
This I'm gonna remember.
And there will
be consequences.
Your dirty money
won't buy anything
in here, Paulie.
Go ahead.
Come on, attack me
right in the cell
while I got my cuffs on.
I could use the money.
Yeah, keep looking at me.
Remember me, Kenny.
Remember, I'm the guy
who spit in your face.
You're serious about this?
Very.
Just tell me
what I have to do, I'll do it.
You're gonna give up food.
Completely?
Yes. You're going to fast.
We'll put you
on a liquid diet.
And under my
medical supervision,
you'll have no
solid foods whatsoever.
We can do this, Bill,
but it's going to take
total commitment.
You know, I like to think
that I was conditioned
to the humiliation.
But when Wambaugh put up
that picture last night,
when I heard that laughter...
How can people
be so insensitive?
I don't know.
I've been fat my entire life.
As a kid,
I--I just denied it.
But then on my 13th birthday,
I accidentally sat
on my sister's kitten,
killed it instantly.
Next thing I remember,
my sister was crying,
calling me a fat murderer.
Well, I got over
being called a murderer.
I never got over
being called fat.
The grand jury
convenes tomorrow.
If they return a bill,
your arraignment
will be tomorrow night.
We'll notify your lawyers.
Getting a buzz on, Deputy,
from that feeling
of public service?
When you drop
your little head
on the pillow tonight,
feeling real good
about yourself,
try to remember
that I contribute
more to this community
than you ever will.
I know what
you contribute, Paulie.
Do you?
My development company
generated 13%
of this town's
economic growth
for the past two years.
43% of the farms
are in bankruptcy.
Rome,
Wisconsin's economic survival
depends upon bringing
new industry into this town.
Now, I am the future
of this community.
You will never
be our future.
You amount to filth,
nothing more.
You want to spit on me now?
Here's a hot tip for you,
whatever administration
takes over in Washington,
they're gonna be chopping down
the national debt,
first priority.
Now, people like me
who generate taxes,
well, we're gonna
be the solution,
and people like you
who cost tax dollars,
well, those people
could soon be
looking for work.
(SCOFFS)
I don't think so.
You see, it's people
like you who keep
people like me employed.
The worst part is,
maybe he's right.
We can't stop guys
like Paulie Thigpen.
They just keep...
We got him stopped.
Tomorrow Harold testifies
before the grand jury.
Then.
And then what?
Paulie makes bail easy.
He's out.
And even if
he does get convicted,
what are the odds
that he'll do any real time?
The system is so soft
on white-collar criminals.
All we can do is hold up
our end of the system, Max.
They break the law,
we bust them.
Courts kick them out,
hey, that's not our fault.
Yeah,
but don't you ever just...
Just sometimes,
it just seems so futile.
No matter what we do.
That-- That's why
I left the city.
Crime was like a tide
and no matter how much sand
you threw into it, you...
Hey, I loved Chicago.
The police
could hardly make a dent.
Guys are back out
on the street
before you can finish
doing the paperwork.
That's why I came here.
Small town,
I figured I could
make a difference.
You think we do
make a difference here?
I don't know. I hope so.
I see that Paulie
Thigpen's getting
more into the fabric.
Today they're in business,
tomorrow maybe politics.
Hey, in other towns,
they're already in politics.
We're no match
for him, Kenny.
God, he spit at you.
He knows we're no match.
(SINGING WHO'S NEXT)
* First we got the bomb
and that was good
* 'Cause we love peace
and motherhood
* Then Russia got the bomb
but that's okay
* 'Cause the balance of
power's maintained that way
The wound was so small,
it looked like he popped
a pimple or something.
But could it have
been done with a BB?
I don't even know.
Jimmy, Jill.
Henry!
Hi!
May I intrude?
Yes. Sit down, Henry.
What brings you here?
Act of God.
A group of us had a meeting
and we want you
to run for mayor.
I'm sorry. What?
What?
People are looking
for an outsider.
Right now
the only outsider is him.
* Egypt's gonna get one too
* Just to use on you know who
* So Israel's getting tense
* Wants one in self-defense
* "The Lord's our shepherd"
says the psalm
* But just in case
we better get a bomb
* Who's next?
Our polls show
that he's ahead.
Oh, Henry,
you've gotta be kidding.
He sings, he dances,
he survives
assassination attempts.
Look, he's a pet rock
spouting good quotes.
They'll pick him by default.
But not against you.
Henry,
I am not a politician.
* Who's next? *
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Thank you, thank you.
Oh, I see seated here tonight
Minister Novotny.
Though you're not
Catholic, Henry,
you remind me of
my favorite number,
The Vatican Rag,
and it goes like this.
I'm getting out of here.
No, no, no.
Stay, stay. Stay for this.
* First you get down
on your knees
* Fiddle with your rosaries
* Bow your head
with great respect
* And genuflect,
genuflect, genuflect!
* Do whatever steps
you want
Jimmy, you're
the center of this town.
Now we've figured out a way
to finance your campaign
with church money
without losing
our tax-exempt status.
What?
Come and talk to me tomorrow.
We'll discuss it.
I can't take this.
* Ave Maria
Gee it's good to see ya
* Getting ecstatic
and sorta dramatic
* And doing the Vatican Rag *
(AUDIENCE CLAPPING)
Thank you.
(LAUGHS) Douglas Wambaugh.
Thank you.
Let go of me.
Can't let you go, Harold.
You've been talking.
I won't testify.
I'll tell them
that I was making
the whole thing up.
I'll just say that...
(GROANS)
You talked, Harold.
No. No. No.
Now, you never took
no bribe from Mr. Thigpen.
No. No.
You never saw me
here tonight.
No. No.
You're never,
ever gonna testify
against Mr. Thigpen.
No. No.
We clear, Harold?
Yes.
Next time,
it's your neck, Harold.
(GROANING)
All I want you to do
is identify the people
who did this.
I'm not identifying nothing,
and I'm not testifying
against anybody.
Are you gonna let Paulie
get away with this?
All I'm gonna do
is whatever I gotta do
to stay healthy.
Now, leave me alone.
Harold.
Get out of here.
I'll get you held
for contempt if I have to.
Do it.
You think I'm
more afraid of you
than Paulie and his boys?
If you back down,
if you don't testify,
Paulie wins.
Don't you see that?
All I see is you want me
to be the first soldier
over the wall.
Harold, come...
Shut up!
You said you were
gonna protect me.
Well, look at me, Kenny.
Look at me!
I am as outraged by this
as you are, Jimmy.
Now, I promise you,
if anybody in my employ
had anything to do with
this attack on Harold Lunster
whatsoever,
I will personally...
You know damn well
who did it.
You ordered it.
Kenny!
This is crap.
I can appreciate
that you're upset,
but false accusations
against me serve nobody.
What I believe
and what I can prove
are two different things,
Paulie, for now.
Now get out of here.
Jimmy.
Be quiet.
I said get out of here.
I have nothing
to prosecute with.
We move forward
with what we got now,
we lose
and he stays protected
by double jeopardy.
You all have jobs to do.
Not now, Bill.
Use the documentation
you got from me.
You can indict Paulie
with that.
That stuff was
illegally obtained.
That's for a judge
to decide and not you.
I'm not gonna do it!
Whole town knows
that I'm after Paulie,
and they know
that I can't get him.
They're laughing at me.
I'm getting shot at
with a lousy BB gun.
They're laughing.
Who?
Everybody.
And if Paulie gets kicked,
they're just gonna laugh
some more.
Just like they
laughed at that picture.
The fat, jolly,
impotent mayor,
isn't he funny?
Well, I am sick of
getting laughed at.
They didn't need to yank me
out of the car that way.
They needed to
hoist me up in the air
like the object of
everyone's ridicule.
Maxine is waiting
at the Town Hall.
Ginny,
get out of here, please.
Of course.
Sit down, Bill.
The town's coming apart.
I'm the mayor.
They shouldn't be laughing.
I'm the mayor.
Fire.
(GUN CLICKS)
Again. Aim. Fire.
What's going on?
These are some of the worst
marksmen in Rome.
I asked them to
shoot 10 times each,
none of them have missed.
So?
So how could
Danny Milch have missed
when these people can't?
And this little girl,
she's never even
held a rifle before today.
Hey, Persus.
Shoot the Mayor
for me, please.
You see. There is no way
an experienced gunman
could shoot
at a stationary
target of that size,
from this vantage point,
and miss.
So, what are you
trying to say?
I have my doubts
about the single BB theory.
I don't think it
ever touched the podium.
It hit Wambaugh first,
and I think
that Danny Milch
and whoever else
meant for Wambaugh
to get shot.
You think the Church
shot Wambaugh?
I don't know what to think.
I know that Dan Milch is
an alderman in the Church.
Well,
he's Wambaugh's friend.
He's also a crack shot.
He was not shooting
at the Mayor.
Now, maybe you convinced him
to--to sting Wambaugh
to scare him off
the campaign trail.
I don't know.
Well, listen to you.
You're the one
who's most opposed
to his being mayor.
I'm a minister.
This is a church of God.
Do you think
I ordered a BB hit?
Don't get righteous
with me, Henry.
Yesterday you were willing
to skirt tax laws
and launder campaign money.
But that's
a legitimate loophole.
I got a letter of opinion
from our accountant.
All I know is
that Dan Milch is
a law-abiding citizen.
For him to
break the law means...
It's a growing sense of
lawlessness in this town.
Yes.
And it can only
get worse, Jimmy.
That's why you have to run.
If Douglas Wambaugh
gets elected,
Rome, Wisconsin
is going to become
a moral sinkhole.
You have got to run.
God Almighty,
you have got to run.
CHOIR:
* Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
* Hallelujah! Hallelujah! *
Are you actually
considering this?
I don't really
want to be mayor.
Yeah, but?
But what Henry says
is right. This town is
beginning to wobble.
And as the sheriff,
I can't head off
people like Paulie Thigpen.
But maybe as the mayor,
I could.
But what about
the effect on the family?
Do you think about that?
Of course
I think about that.
But then I also
think about how you and I
and other parents
in this town
insulate our kids
against the problems
of the town
instead of fixing them.
Mom, Dad,
Kim won't get
out of the bathroom
and I'm too old
to let her see me naked.
I put plenty of bubbles
in that bath, young man.
Nobody's gonna
see anything.
Just ask her to turn around
when you want to get in.
Okay? Look.
And you said you'd come.
Yeah, I'll be there
in a minute.
Go on, honey,
take your bath.
Take your shark.
(GROANS)
Am I crazy?
Well, if you are,
it won't disqualify you.
Wambaugh just wants the job
because he wants to
be taken seriously
and Bill Pugen's
only trying to forget
that he crushed
his sister's kitten.
What?
Never mind.
At least your motives
are legitimate.
Oh, for God's sakes,
I wanted you to talk me
out of this, Jill.
Oh!
You know-- You know
what we gotta do before
we even consider this?
We've gotta tell the kids,
because it's gonna
put the whole family
under a microscope
and they're not
gonna take that lightly.
Yeah.
Will they let you
keep your gun?
Daddy, the fact that
you could get elected
is exactly what's wrong
with the American government.
BOYS: Here she goes.
No, no. I want to hear this.
You have no experience,
no economic philosophy,
no political platform
to speak of.
Kim, I think
you should run.
And, Daddy,
since I'm 16 in two months
and you married my real mother
15 years ago and 10 months,
I think Dan Quayle will be
very disappointed in you.
Kimberly.
You know, he helped
cause the LA riots.
I never knew this.
Knew what?
Murphy Brown's your mother.
Mom.
Enough, enough, you guys!
I'm sorry I brought it up.
Once again,
I thank you all
for your support.
What did I say?
I don't understand
why Danny Milch
shot Wambaugh,
but claimed he was
aiming at the Mayor.
I mean, it just
doesn't make sense to me.
And that magic BB?
That supposedly
hit the podium,
then right-angled
over to Wambaugh,
and then had to
loop around him
to find the wall.
Look at this.
What?
Jack Potts
and Paulie Thigpen.
And they say
wishes don't come true.
What are you doing?
They're speeding.
MAXINE: They're not speeding.
Sure they are.
You just can't tell.
This is harassment.
Stay in the car, Max.
What are you doing?
Stay in the car
and do some paperwork.
Going kind of fast, Jack.
We were crawling.
What is this crap?
Oh, jeez,
I think I see a weapon.
What are you doing? Hey?
I'm gonna
have to frisk you.
Hey!
What the hell is this?
Now, you're resisting.
Gotta bring
the suspect under control.
What, are you crazy?
(GRUNTS)
Aiding and abetting?
(GRUNTS)
Suspect had
attempted to flee.
Kenny!
Stay the hell away!
Keep your face down!
Thought it would be fun
to beat up an old man
like Harold Lunster, huh?
No witnesses,
no retribution, huh?
'Cause nobody messes
with Paulie Thigpen.
This is justice,
Paulie, my way.
Remember me, Paulie.
Remember, I'm the cop
who stuck a gun in your face.
(WHIMPERING)
Drive safely.
This time was just a warning.
The suspects
resisted arrest.
A struggle ensued,
and I was forced
to physically subdue them.
That's not how
Jack and Paulie
described it.
You have my report.
Maxine?
She stayed in the car.
What did you see?
I saw Kenny
approach the car.
The suspects emerged,
a struggle ensued,
and Kenny was
forced to subdue them.
There was
a struggle with two suspects
and you just sat in the car?
Kenny seemed to
have the situation
under control.
From your vantage point,
Kenny's use of force
was justified?
Yes, sir.
You disgraced the badge,
both of you.
You disgraced
the Department.
The suspects resisted arrest.
In my judgment...
I know what your
judgment is, Kenny.
You're suspended for a week,
pending investigation.
Leave your gun
and your badge here
and get out of here.
The only reason
I don't suspend you
is because, if I did,
Kenny's conscience would
force him to tell me
what really happened.
And I'm afraid
if I knew the true facts,
I'd have no choice
but to bring criminal charges
against the both of you.
Now,
get the hell out of here.
(SIGHS)
A dinner by candlelight,
a quiet drink at my place,
we wouldn't even
wake my wife.
In my office, Doug.
Oh, boy. What now?
I'm a busy man.
This is
highly irregular.
I want to
retain your counsel.
You know about
the Kenny/Paulie thing?
Know about it?
I'd take the case,
but it would bring
me down in the polls.
Well, I want you to
take the case on our side.
I'm afraid we could be sued.
All right.
I'm on the dime.
Did you suspend Kenny?
Yes, I did.
Officially,
it is a suspension
pending investigation.
We don't have to hear
any admission of liability.
Best of all,
if the investigation
clears his name,
which I'm sure it will,
no press, don't blow it up,
and don't do anything
that may cause
a venue change.
What do you mean?
I mean, if there's a trial,
it should be held here
right in Rome.
Everyone here knows
who and what this Paulie is.
He couldn't swing a jury.
By the way,
where is Paulie now?
Oh, he's getting
stitched up by my wife.
Get over there. Apologize.
Show remorse
and then threaten
the hell out of him.
Threaten him?
Absolutely.
Let him know
that a civil trial
brought up by him
will dig up facts.
Facts about what happened
to Harold Lunster,
and facts that is
coming back to haunt him
in a criminal trial.
That's unethical.
We're not talking ethics.
We're talking about
saving your ass,
which, by the way,
is a close call, ethics-wise.
Just be subtle.
Well, we've been
going at it for 20 minutes.
Okay. And another matter,
the shooting.
I know you and Milch
are friends.
I think it was
all a campaign stunt
to get you sympathy.
Ooh! Such accusations
from a client.
I don't have time for this.
Just tell the truth, okay.
You got immunity, 20 seconds.
All right, Danny Milch
fired at the wall.
I pretended to be hit.
I get sympathy.
The Mayor gets
editorials in the paper
listing all the reasons
why he should be shot.
This is how you
serve democracy, Doug,
with a ridiculous
stunt like this?
I'm doing all it takes
to be elected.
That's as democratic
as it gets.
Jimmy?
Oh, Bill!
What are you doing here?
Hmm. You look thinner.
Get out.
I want to talk
to the Sheriff.
We have a deal.
Running for mayor, Jimmy?
Excuse me?
Word around town
is that they're gonna
draft you tonight
at the town meeting.
Let me tell you
something, Jimmy,
you'll just split my vote
and assure Wambaugh's
election.
Calm down.
I will not calm down.
You enter the ring
and it's war.
Oh, listen to me,
I sound like a madman.
I'm sorry. It's just...
The people are angry.
For the first time,
I'm seeing the seeds of hatred
in this town
and I can't...
Do you think
I'm fit to be mayor?
You've done
a great job, Bill.
You're a great mayor.
So what is it
they want from me
that I'm not giving them?
Hope.
You are gonna run,
aren't you?
I'm thinking about it.
The cane will take
some of the stress
off your legs.
That'll help your ribs.
Great.
You all right?
Big lawsuit coming, Jimmy.
We're talking major
litigation here.
Oh, come on, Paulie.
You helped
provoke the situation.
Tell it to the jury.
Get out of my way.
Kenny's state of mind
will go to his defense.
Whether or not
your goons beat up Harold,
whether or not
you bribed Harold
and the other selectmen,
well, that evidence
might seep out
in a civil trial if you sue.
Blackmail?
You see it your way,
I'll see it mine.
Sometimes I feel
I don't know you anymore.
I gotta protect
Kenny and the Department.
You wear that badge
to protect the people.
Oh, come on, Jill.
Don't make this about me.
You're my wife.
You're supposed
to be supportive.
Spousal duty
has nothing to do with it.
The support you get
from me is earned,
so is the disappointment.
* Start a brand new day
with Wambaugh
* Pave a brand new way
with Wambaugh
* He's a friend in our need
* He's the hope that you need
* Douglas Wambaugh
* Douglas Wambaugh
* Douglas Wambaugh today! *
Thank you, thank you.
Those were
the Wambaugh singers.
Aren't they wonderful?
Never mind that.
Let's-- Let's bring
this to order now.
Of course, Jimmy.
But first, I would like to
congratulate you
and the Department.
Friends of Rome,
we all love Harold Lunster
and, after his brutal attack,
it was inspiring to see
the quick action
of the sheriffs,
most notably our deputy,
Kenny Lacos,
who is sitting
right back there now.
JIMMY: Okay, okay.
Let's, uh...
Let's get to this.
Now, as you know,
this is speech night.
So all of our candidates
will give speeches
without interruption.
So we'll get right
to our first speaker,
who will be our
incumbent mayor,
Bill Pugen. Mayor Pugen.
MAN 1: All right, yeah.
MAN 2: Yeah.
Max?
Hey, Kenny.
Look, I'd like to
thank you for sticking up
for me today.
You want to thank me?
I jeopardized
my career for you.
Last night put a stain
on my record that I...
You're in the clear in this.
You didn't do nothing.
I was there, Kenny.
You committed
a vicious assault
and I stood back and watched.
You know, the only
reason we're still cops
is because
nobody videotaped it.
Well, you saw what
Paulie did to Harold.
And I saw what
you did to Paulie
and I covered for you.
We were bad cops, Kenny,
and all the applause
in the world
won't change that.
CROWD: We want Brock.
We want Brock.
We want Brock.
We want Brock.
Excuse me.
If I could be heard, please.
We want Brock!
This is out of order.
I'm giving a speech.
We want Brock!
We want Brock!
PUGEN: Ladies and gentlemen.
We want Brock!
I give you, uh,
Sheriff Jimmy Brock.
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
Thank you. Thank you.
Look...
You're the man, Jimmy.
MAN 3: You're our man, Jim.
MAN 4: He's got it.
I don't know
that I am your man.
You know, I wonder
how many of you out there,
when you watch the newscasts
from Milwaukee
or even Chicago,
see the crime in the streets,
the chaos,
the breakdown in community.
How many of you
privately celebrate
your good fortune
to be able to live
in a nice quiet town
like Rome, Wisconsin?
We really got something
here, don't we?
Problem is, we're losing it.
We got businessmen
bribing selectmen,
illegal break-ins, um,
deceptive campaign stunts,
candidates
circumventing the law
for their own political gain,
the Church trying to backdoor
into governmental influence,
thugs beating up witnesses,
people refusing to
cooperate with the law
because they don't
want to get involved.
Deputies resorting
to street justice
with no regard for the law.
Hatred.
A sheriff who turns his head
from all of the above
for the sake of expediency.
A sheriff who threatens
criminal investigation
to ward off civil liability.
A sheriff, I can tell you,
who has no place
being your mayor.
I would like to start
by being a better sheriff.
And I would like
to ask all of you
to start being a more
responsible citizenship.
And toward that end,
I ask you, please,
do not draft me
to run for mayor.
We got something
pretty special here.
We have good people.
We have a good town.
For God's sakes, take care.
Hey.
Hi.
What?
What are you doing?
I found this
at the front door.
Looks like a jack-in-the-box,
but it's been tampered with.
The screws are loose
and there's something
heavy at the bottom.
Oh, you think
it's a bomb?
I don't really think so,
but the way
things in this town
have been going...
Well, be careful.
I don't really
think it's a bomb.
I would know if it was...
What are you doing here?
You're suspended.
I had to see you.
I never meant
to hurt you, Max.
You know that.
Yeah, well,
the other night you said
all we had to do is hold up
our end of the system.
Our end broke down.
I know. And I'm sorry
for disgracing
the Department,
but most of all
for embarrassing you.
(WAMBAUGH THEME SONG PLAYING)
WAMBAUGH SINGERS:
* Start a brand new day
with Wambaugh
* Pave a brand new way... *
This town is madness,
you know that?
It reminds me of that song,
I Knew an Old Lady
Who Swallowed a Fly.
The what?
She swallowed a fly,
then swallowed the spider
to get the fly,
then swallowed...
Paulie bribes Harold.
Then to fix Paulie,
the Mayor commits burglary.
Then to fix that,
we obtain illegal evidence
to get Harold's testimony.
Then to fix that,
Paulie beats up Harold.
Then to fix that,
you beat up Paulie.
Then I cover up.
Then Jimmy fixes everything
with blackmail.
All that remind
you of a song?
It's a vicious cycle.
(SINGING I KNEW AN OLD LADY
WHO SWALLOWED A FLY)
* She swallowed the bird
to catch the spider
* That wriggled and jiggled
and tickled inside her
* She swallowed the spider
to catch the fly
* I dunno why
she swallowed the fly
BOTH: * Perhaps she'll die *
area clear. Come on.
FIREMAN 1:
Not a problem, Mike.
MIKE: Move out of the way.
JIMMY: You gonna cut
him out with a saw?
FIREMAN 2: It's the only way
we can get him out.
Couldn't you
peel the door back?
No, it's too crushed.
We gotta go
through the roof.
JIMMY:
Let's go, folks, come on.
PARAMEDIC: All set.
Okay, that's it.
Let's roll it back now.
Come on, Carl.
Get out of the way.
Bill? Can you hear me?
He's in and out.
The vital signs are good.
It's Jimmy.
Can you hear me, Bill?
God, there's egg salad
all over the dash and shield.
Bacon bits?
FIREMAN 3: All right,
I'll get the harness on him.
Check his mouth,
make sure his
passageway is clear.
Come on, slip it under.
I'm in charge.
I'm in charge.
I'm in complete charge.
In charge of what?
Take pictures.
No, no, wait a minute,
wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What are you doing?
If the Mayor
is incapacitated,
somebody has to take over.
You don't hold office,
Wambaugh.
The point is,
there's no Vice Mayor
or Secretary of State.
Since I'm
the mayoral candidate,
I'm the closest thing.
Get him out of here.
Now, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
This is Douglas Wambaugh.
Go straight up there.
DOUGLAS:
What are you trying to do?
Let's go. Straight up.
People of Rome,
do not be alarmed
by the swinging mayor.
He'll be fine.
I am ready to lead you all.
This is a fine town,
a great, great town.
We shall overcome.
Here, here,
now vote for Wambaugh.
That tree saved your life.
How do you figure?
Well, after you
choked on the sandwich,
you probably blacked out
and that's when
the car went off the road.
The steering wheel
Heimliched into your stomach
and forced the egg salad
out of your esophagus. Okay.
I don't want this
getting out, Jill.
Mayoral debate's tonight.
The last thing I need
to be questioned
on is egg salad.
Wouldn't Wambaugh love that?
Bill, you need to
go on a diet.
That's my business
and I really don't...
Listen to me, Bill.
You're obese.
Unless you take
drastic steps,
you're going to die.
I wish I could put
this to you more gently,
but your cholesterol
level is very high
and your heart is
at enormous risk.
My blood pressure
has been fine.
I'm feeling good.
Now just because
I am a little overweight...
You're a lot
overweight, Bill.
You could have
a massive coronary
in the blink of an eye.
You have no right to
speak to me like this.
I'm your doctor.
You're my patient.
I have an obligation to
speak to you like this.
Go on a diet. Now.
Jimmy, check this out.
Pictures of ledgers,
cash transactions,
records of Thigpen
Construction Company,
and look at the label
on the folder here.
OFFICER:
...what it was about.
Can you follow up?
"Bribe documentation."
Let me see that.
Do you mind, Ginny?
And here we got
Paulie Thigpen
with various town officials.
That's Harold Lunster.
Where'd you find this?
Well,
that's the best part.
They were strewn
all over the Mayor's car.
The accident knocked
open his briefcase.
Paulie Thigpen
bought off Harold.
I'm sure of it.
His petition for
the variance is due up
again this month.
What variance?
On his condo development.
He's been turned down
three times.
And this time,
I heard he was
going for the fix.
Harold's a town selectman.
He sits on the zoning board.
The fix is in.
I just know it.
Why didn't you
tell us this before?
It was
an internal investigation.
Oh, all right!
I wanted to
orchestrate the arrest
myself. Get the credit.
With the election
coming up in a month,
I could do with
a boost in public opinion.
There's enough to indict.
Go get Paulie.
A-A-Actually,
that documentation wouldn't
be completely admissible.
Why?
Well, the photos are okay.
But the records and ledgers
came into my hands through...
Well, evidently some people
went into their office
after hours
and acquired them.
September 9th break-in.
I didn't know
they were gonna bust in.
I hired some PIs
to gather evidence
and I thought
they would use
legitimate means.
Who?
I can't say.
This is great.
Oh, come on, Jimmy.
Paulie Thigpen's a crook.
He's got building
inspectors on his payroll.
He's got geological engineers
committing perjury.
And mayors
committing burglary.
Putting him away
would help this town.
Tainted evidence.
Bogus evidence.
Not even worth
my legal fees.
Adds up to bribery,
Mr. Thigpen.
The ledgers don't lie.
The ledgers show
campaign contributions.
But I'd be very
interested in knowing
just how they came
into your hands.
Well, that ain't
none of your business.
No, no, no.
See, this is my business.
Because those happen to be
my private business records
that got stolen
from this office.
And if
the Sheriff's Department
had anything to do with it,
then I'm gonna
really make it my business
to launch
a full investigation
that's gonna
clean a little house.
You want to
start investigations?
We can all play.
We'll start with
the building inspectors
you bought to get permits.
We'll talk to your employees.
The ones whose
arms got broken
after filing
workers' comp claims.
We'll dig up
your loan shark clients.
Take--Take--Take
your shot, Deputy.
Only we both know,
if you had any real evidence,
I would've
already been indicted.
Now, this is all crap.
This is about the Mayor
breaking into my office.
This is about the Mayor
committing a crime
and you two
come after me?
Well, you got that right.
We're coming after you.
Kenny.
Like I said,
take your shot.
And then do this,
give the Mayor
a little message from me.
Tell him
it's all about politics,
and politics
always come down to money.
And I got a whole lot
more of it than he does.
That it?
No.
Now here's a little something
for the two of you.
Get the hell out of here.
JIMMY: Kenny's gonna talk
to Harold Lunster tonight.
Convince him to
turn state's evidence.
That's great.
You're gonna use
illegal evidence
to secure an arrest?
Not so tight.
Walk, Daddy. Walk.
Zack, we're late.
Get off your father's feet.
Where's that sitter?
Daddy, you should be
arresting the Mayor,
not helping him.
He didn't
authorize the break-in.
But what did the Mayor know
and when did he know it?
Are you getting
any of this?
Nope. Walk, Dad.
I'm walking, I'm walking.
Honey,
you know, I'm surprised
that you didn't file charges.
Pugen is an honest man.
And why is it this stuff
always comes down on me
in a big heap?
Just once I would
like to come home,
tell you about my day,
maybe get a kiss and a verse
of Stand by Your Man.
Just once.
Daddy, this tie is gross.
Why are you getting all
dressed up anyway?
Because I'm
moderating the debate
as a citizen,
not as a sheriff.
Is this tie gross?
You look fabulous.
Come on, Zack.
Get off your
father's feet this instant.
We gotta go.
Come on, everybody.
(MARCHING BAND PLAYING
WAMBAUGH THEME SONG)
* Start a brand new day
with Wambaugh
* Pave a brand new way
with Wambaugh
* He's a friend in our need
* He's the hope that you need
DOUGLAS: Thank you.
* Douglas Wambaugh *
Thank you. Thank you.
That was the Wambaugh theme.
Thank you.
Okay, let's call this
to order, please.
Oh, wait
a minute, Jimmy.
First,
on an administrative note.
Tomorrow night
at O'Calleigh's Pub,
I will be singing
about some global issues
and I hope
you can all attend.
What's good for the world
is good for Rome.
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
WOMAN: All right!
Thank you!
JIMMY: Thank you very much.
Harold.
Do you know
what I'm saying?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I'm talking about
this picture, Harold.
I'm talking about
you taking bribes
from Paulie Thigpen.
Now you can come in
tonight willingly,
or I can take you in.
Now, I ain't
saying nothing. Oh, God.
Hey, Deputy.
Private conversation,
Paulie.
I'm probably old enough
to be your father,
and you call me Paulie.
It's Mr. Thigpen.
See, if I call you
Mr. Thigpen,
you might mistake
that as respect.
I'm a businessman.
I contribute
to this community.
I'm a taxpayer.
And I would appreciate
just a little respect, okay?
Put your filthy finger
on me ever again,
and I'll break it off.
It's okay.
All right,
the next question
for Mr. Wambaugh
comes from Frank Deenie.
Frank, please.
Who are you,
running for mayor?
You have no experience.
Experience at what, Frank?
Running up a deficit,
making inflation go up
while incumbents concentrate
on nothing more than
getting re-elected?
I don't do that.
You don't do anything.
You're the ones
the Japanese had in mind
when they called us lazy.
(CROWD MURMURING)
That's out of line.
Our government
is out of line.
We need a change.
People of Rome,
the image of
American leadership.
(ALL LAUGHING)
I show you now
the highest elected
official in Rome
pitching in the wind.
(ALL LAUGHING)
That is enough!
Is this where
our tax dollars go?
That is enough!
Where the Fire
Department lift up
fat incumbents
from crushed cars?
CROWD: No.
PUGEN: This is outrageous!
You are a public disgrace!
Quiet,
all right. Quiet.
Quiet, quiet.
Everybody quiet. Quiet down.
(GUN FIRES)
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
(ALL CLAMORING)
Wambaugh! He's been shot!
(MOANING)
Give me a local.
This is agony.
There's hardly even a mark.
There's a little redness here
under your collarbone,
but this certainly
can't be from a bullet.
Because it wasn't a bullet.
It was a BB.
A BB?
Max dropped it off.
She dug it out of the wall.
They think it bounced off him
and then went into the wood.
Douglas Wambaugh
has recovered.
Ready to reenter the race.
Hold it right there.
You're getting a tetanus.
A needle?
I'd rather be shot at.
Never mind,
this is gonna
take one second.
It wouldn't make
my glands swell?
I have to sing
tomorrow night.
You're hardly
gonna feel it.
Why would
he shoot a BB?
Oh, my goodness.
Doug, why are you
doing all this?
Singing? Running for mayor?
I have a right to be mayor.
Yes, you do,
and you have a right to
sing tomorrow night
at O'Calleigh's,
but I'm asking you why.
I'm a good lawyer.
A client comes to me,
I leave him better off.
And I could do
the same for this town.
Now, maybe so.
And since I know
you love trilogy,
I'll ask you
for the third time. Why?
What are you after?
Maybe I'm looking to squash
the very disbelief
that I'm getting
from you at this moment.
You know,
I win over 80%
of my trials. 80%!
Yeah, the point being?
The point being,
I win case after case
after case,
but still every time
I walk into that courtroom,
I hear the snickers.
I know they laugh at me.
You invite
that laughter, Doug.
You strut around
with that Wambaugh theme.
You play the clown.
I play my hand, that's all.
I play my hand.
So you're running for mayor
to change your hand?
The publicity will not
hurt my law practice,
and whether I win or lose,
Douglas Wambaugh
would wind up ahead.
I can lead this town, Jill.
You'll see. You'll all see.
Right here, Danny.
I didn't mean
to hit Wambaugh.
I was aiming for the Mayor.
The Mayor?
Yes, the Mayor, that
walking, bloated metaphor
of the American dream.
How could you possibly miss?
I hit the podium.
It must have ricocheted
into Wambaugh.
Listen, Jimmy,
arrest me if you want to,
but this was just
political protest,
nothing more.
Shooting a gun
in a crowded room
goes beyond
political protest.
"Civil disobedience
is a duty."
Henry David Thoreau.
"You're under arrest."
Dick Tracy.
You can't just
pull me in here like this!
I arrested you.
That's what I do
after arresting people.
I pull them in.
What did he do?
Go home, Danny.
I shot Wambaugh.
I was there.
Go.
Come with us, Harold.
All right,
here's the deal, Harold.
We've got evidence
you've taken a bribe.
You can either
call your lawyer
if you want to...
Why?
The bribe
was only two grand.
A lawyer
will cost me three.
Help us put away
Paulie and you go free.
Oh, Paulie would bury me.
Jail, Harold.
You could go to prison.
And who protects me
from Paulie?
I'll scare off Paulie.
Paulie doesn't scare
and you know it.
It's your decision.
You either go
to grand jury
or you go to prison.
All right, I'll talk.
But it's a gyp.
This is harassment.
You have no grounds
to hold me and you know it.
Oh, what, you're a lawyer
now, Paulie?
You're gonna tell me
the merits of my case?
You don't have a case.
All you've got
is Harold Lunster,
a washed-out
alcoholic whose credibility
will never make
reasonable doubt.
His story will
probably change
before the arraignment.
Yeah, well, why is that?
You gonna threaten him?
Now, he's got a bad memory.
But my memory,
on the other hand,
is perfect.
This I'm gonna remember.
And there will
be consequences.
Your dirty money
won't buy anything
in here, Paulie.
Go ahead.
Come on, attack me
right in the cell
while I got my cuffs on.
I could use the money.
Yeah, keep looking at me.
Remember me, Kenny.
Remember, I'm the guy
who spit in your face.
You're serious about this?
Very.
Just tell me
what I have to do, I'll do it.
You're gonna give up food.
Completely?
Yes. You're going to fast.
We'll put you
on a liquid diet.
And under my
medical supervision,
you'll have no
solid foods whatsoever.
We can do this, Bill,
but it's going to take
total commitment.
You know, I like to think
that I was conditioned
to the humiliation.
But when Wambaugh put up
that picture last night,
when I heard that laughter...
How can people
be so insensitive?
I don't know.
I've been fat my entire life.
As a kid,
I--I just denied it.
But then on my 13th birthday,
I accidentally sat
on my sister's kitten,
killed it instantly.
Next thing I remember,
my sister was crying,
calling me a fat murderer.
Well, I got over
being called a murderer.
I never got over
being called fat.
The grand jury
convenes tomorrow.
If they return a bill,
your arraignment
will be tomorrow night.
We'll notify your lawyers.
Getting a buzz on, Deputy,
from that feeling
of public service?
When you drop
your little head
on the pillow tonight,
feeling real good
about yourself,
try to remember
that I contribute
more to this community
than you ever will.
I know what
you contribute, Paulie.
Do you?
My development company
generated 13%
of this town's
economic growth
for the past two years.
43% of the farms
are in bankruptcy.
Rome,
Wisconsin's economic survival
depends upon bringing
new industry into this town.
Now, I am the future
of this community.
You will never
be our future.
You amount to filth,
nothing more.
You want to spit on me now?
Here's a hot tip for you,
whatever administration
takes over in Washington,
they're gonna be chopping down
the national debt,
first priority.
Now, people like me
who generate taxes,
well, we're gonna
be the solution,
and people like you
who cost tax dollars,
well, those people
could soon be
looking for work.
(SCOFFS)
I don't think so.
You see, it's people
like you who keep
people like me employed.
The worst part is,
maybe he's right.
We can't stop guys
like Paulie Thigpen.
They just keep...
We got him stopped.
Tomorrow Harold testifies
before the grand jury.
Then.
And then what?
Paulie makes bail easy.
He's out.
And even if
he does get convicted,
what are the odds
that he'll do any real time?
The system is so soft
on white-collar criminals.
All we can do is hold up
our end of the system, Max.
They break the law,
we bust them.
Courts kick them out,
hey, that's not our fault.
Yeah,
but don't you ever just...
Just sometimes,
it just seems so futile.
No matter what we do.
That-- That's why
I left the city.
Crime was like a tide
and no matter how much sand
you threw into it, you...
Hey, I loved Chicago.
The police
could hardly make a dent.
Guys are back out
on the street
before you can finish
doing the paperwork.
That's why I came here.
Small town,
I figured I could
make a difference.
You think we do
make a difference here?
I don't know. I hope so.
I see that Paulie
Thigpen's getting
more into the fabric.
Today they're in business,
tomorrow maybe politics.
Hey, in other towns,
they're already in politics.
We're no match
for him, Kenny.
God, he spit at you.
He knows we're no match.
(SINGING WHO'S NEXT)
* First we got the bomb
and that was good
* 'Cause we love peace
and motherhood
* Then Russia got the bomb
but that's okay
* 'Cause the balance of
power's maintained that way
The wound was so small,
it looked like he popped
a pimple or something.
But could it have
been done with a BB?
I don't even know.
Jimmy, Jill.
Henry!
Hi!
May I intrude?
Yes. Sit down, Henry.
What brings you here?
Act of God.
A group of us had a meeting
and we want you
to run for mayor.
I'm sorry. What?
What?
People are looking
for an outsider.
Right now
the only outsider is him.
* Egypt's gonna get one too
* Just to use on you know who
* So Israel's getting tense
* Wants one in self-defense
* "The Lord's our shepherd"
says the psalm
* But just in case
we better get a bomb
* Who's next?
Our polls show
that he's ahead.
Oh, Henry,
you've gotta be kidding.
He sings, he dances,
he survives
assassination attempts.
Look, he's a pet rock
spouting good quotes.
They'll pick him by default.
But not against you.
Henry,
I am not a politician.
* Who's next? *
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Thank you, thank you.
Oh, I see seated here tonight
Minister Novotny.
Though you're not
Catholic, Henry,
you remind me of
my favorite number,
The Vatican Rag,
and it goes like this.
I'm getting out of here.
No, no, no.
Stay, stay. Stay for this.
* First you get down
on your knees
* Fiddle with your rosaries
* Bow your head
with great respect
* And genuflect,
genuflect, genuflect!
* Do whatever steps
you want
Jimmy, you're
the center of this town.
Now we've figured out a way
to finance your campaign
with church money
without losing
our tax-exempt status.
What?
Come and talk to me tomorrow.
We'll discuss it.
I can't take this.
* Ave Maria
Gee it's good to see ya
* Getting ecstatic
and sorta dramatic
* And doing the Vatican Rag *
(AUDIENCE CLAPPING)
Thank you.
(LAUGHS) Douglas Wambaugh.
Thank you.
Let go of me.
Can't let you go, Harold.
You've been talking.
I won't testify.
I'll tell them
that I was making
the whole thing up.
I'll just say that...
(GROANS)
You talked, Harold.
No. No. No.
Now, you never took
no bribe from Mr. Thigpen.
No. No.
You never saw me
here tonight.
No. No.
You're never,
ever gonna testify
against Mr. Thigpen.
No. No.
We clear, Harold?
Yes.
Next time,
it's your neck, Harold.
(GROANING)
All I want you to do
is identify the people
who did this.
I'm not identifying nothing,
and I'm not testifying
against anybody.
Are you gonna let Paulie
get away with this?
All I'm gonna do
is whatever I gotta do
to stay healthy.
Now, leave me alone.
Harold.
Get out of here.
I'll get you held
for contempt if I have to.
Do it.
You think I'm
more afraid of you
than Paulie and his boys?
If you back down,
if you don't testify,
Paulie wins.
Don't you see that?
All I see is you want me
to be the first soldier
over the wall.
Harold, come...
Shut up!
You said you were
gonna protect me.
Well, look at me, Kenny.
Look at me!
I am as outraged by this
as you are, Jimmy.
Now, I promise you,
if anybody in my employ
had anything to do with
this attack on Harold Lunster
whatsoever,
I will personally...
You know damn well
who did it.
You ordered it.
Kenny!
This is crap.
I can appreciate
that you're upset,
but false accusations
against me serve nobody.
What I believe
and what I can prove
are two different things,
Paulie, for now.
Now get out of here.
Jimmy.
Be quiet.
I said get out of here.
I have nothing
to prosecute with.
We move forward
with what we got now,
we lose
and he stays protected
by double jeopardy.
You all have jobs to do.
Not now, Bill.
Use the documentation
you got from me.
You can indict Paulie
with that.
That stuff was
illegally obtained.
That's for a judge
to decide and not you.
I'm not gonna do it!
Whole town knows
that I'm after Paulie,
and they know
that I can't get him.
They're laughing at me.
I'm getting shot at
with a lousy BB gun.
They're laughing.
Who?
Everybody.
And if Paulie gets kicked,
they're just gonna laugh
some more.
Just like they
laughed at that picture.
The fat, jolly,
impotent mayor,
isn't he funny?
Well, I am sick of
getting laughed at.
They didn't need to yank me
out of the car that way.
They needed to
hoist me up in the air
like the object of
everyone's ridicule.
Maxine is waiting
at the Town Hall.
Ginny,
get out of here, please.
Of course.
Sit down, Bill.
The town's coming apart.
I'm the mayor.
They shouldn't be laughing.
I'm the mayor.
Fire.
(GUN CLICKS)
Again. Aim. Fire.
What's going on?
These are some of the worst
marksmen in Rome.
I asked them to
shoot 10 times each,
none of them have missed.
So?
So how could
Danny Milch have missed
when these people can't?
And this little girl,
she's never even
held a rifle before today.
Hey, Persus.
Shoot the Mayor
for me, please.
You see. There is no way
an experienced gunman
could shoot
at a stationary
target of that size,
from this vantage point,
and miss.
So, what are you
trying to say?
I have my doubts
about the single BB theory.
I don't think it
ever touched the podium.
It hit Wambaugh first,
and I think
that Danny Milch
and whoever else
meant for Wambaugh
to get shot.
You think the Church
shot Wambaugh?
I don't know what to think.
I know that Dan Milch is
an alderman in the Church.
Well,
he's Wambaugh's friend.
He's also a crack shot.
He was not shooting
at the Mayor.
Now, maybe you convinced him
to--to sting Wambaugh
to scare him off
the campaign trail.
I don't know.
Well, listen to you.
You're the one
who's most opposed
to his being mayor.
I'm a minister.
This is a church of God.
Do you think
I ordered a BB hit?
Don't get righteous
with me, Henry.
Yesterday you were willing
to skirt tax laws
and launder campaign money.
But that's
a legitimate loophole.
I got a letter of opinion
from our accountant.
All I know is
that Dan Milch is
a law-abiding citizen.
For him to
break the law means...
It's a growing sense of
lawlessness in this town.
Yes.
And it can only
get worse, Jimmy.
That's why you have to run.
If Douglas Wambaugh
gets elected,
Rome, Wisconsin
is going to become
a moral sinkhole.
You have got to run.
God Almighty,
you have got to run.
CHOIR:
* Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
* Hallelujah! Hallelujah! *
Are you actually
considering this?
I don't really
want to be mayor.
Yeah, but?
But what Henry says
is right. This town is
beginning to wobble.
And as the sheriff,
I can't head off
people like Paulie Thigpen.
But maybe as the mayor,
I could.
But what about
the effect on the family?
Do you think about that?
Of course
I think about that.
But then I also
think about how you and I
and other parents
in this town
insulate our kids
against the problems
of the town
instead of fixing them.
Mom, Dad,
Kim won't get
out of the bathroom
and I'm too old
to let her see me naked.
I put plenty of bubbles
in that bath, young man.
Nobody's gonna
see anything.
Just ask her to turn around
when you want to get in.
Okay? Look.
And you said you'd come.
Yeah, I'll be there
in a minute.
Go on, honey,
take your bath.
Take your shark.
(GROANS)
Am I crazy?
Well, if you are,
it won't disqualify you.
Wambaugh just wants the job
because he wants to
be taken seriously
and Bill Pugen's
only trying to forget
that he crushed
his sister's kitten.
What?
Never mind.
At least your motives
are legitimate.
Oh, for God's sakes,
I wanted you to talk me
out of this, Jill.
Oh!
You know-- You know
what we gotta do before
we even consider this?
We've gotta tell the kids,
because it's gonna
put the whole family
under a microscope
and they're not
gonna take that lightly.
Yeah.
Will they let you
keep your gun?
Daddy, the fact that
you could get elected
is exactly what's wrong
with the American government.
BOYS: Here she goes.
No, no. I want to hear this.
You have no experience,
no economic philosophy,
no political platform
to speak of.
Kim, I think
you should run.
And, Daddy,
since I'm 16 in two months
and you married my real mother
15 years ago and 10 months,
I think Dan Quayle will be
very disappointed in you.
Kimberly.
You know, he helped
cause the LA riots.
I never knew this.
Knew what?
Murphy Brown's your mother.
Mom.
Enough, enough, you guys!
I'm sorry I brought it up.
Once again,
I thank you all
for your support.
What did I say?
I don't understand
why Danny Milch
shot Wambaugh,
but claimed he was
aiming at the Mayor.
I mean, it just
doesn't make sense to me.
And that magic BB?
That supposedly
hit the podium,
then right-angled
over to Wambaugh,
and then had to
loop around him
to find the wall.
Look at this.
What?
Jack Potts
and Paulie Thigpen.
And they say
wishes don't come true.
What are you doing?
They're speeding.
MAXINE: They're not speeding.
Sure they are.
You just can't tell.
This is harassment.
Stay in the car, Max.
What are you doing?
Stay in the car
and do some paperwork.
Going kind of fast, Jack.
We were crawling.
What is this crap?
Oh, jeez,
I think I see a weapon.
What are you doing? Hey?
I'm gonna
have to frisk you.
Hey!
What the hell is this?
Now, you're resisting.
Gotta bring
the suspect under control.
What, are you crazy?
(GRUNTS)
Aiding and abetting?
(GRUNTS)
Suspect had
attempted to flee.
Kenny!
Stay the hell away!
Keep your face down!
Thought it would be fun
to beat up an old man
like Harold Lunster, huh?
No witnesses,
no retribution, huh?
'Cause nobody messes
with Paulie Thigpen.
This is justice,
Paulie, my way.
Remember me, Paulie.
Remember, I'm the cop
who stuck a gun in your face.
(WHIMPERING)
Drive safely.
This time was just a warning.
The suspects
resisted arrest.
A struggle ensued,
and I was forced
to physically subdue them.
That's not how
Jack and Paulie
described it.
You have my report.
Maxine?
She stayed in the car.
What did you see?
I saw Kenny
approach the car.
The suspects emerged,
a struggle ensued,
and Kenny was
forced to subdue them.
There was
a struggle with two suspects
and you just sat in the car?
Kenny seemed to
have the situation
under control.
From your vantage point,
Kenny's use of force
was justified?
Yes, sir.
You disgraced the badge,
both of you.
You disgraced
the Department.
The suspects resisted arrest.
In my judgment...
I know what your
judgment is, Kenny.
You're suspended for a week,
pending investigation.
Leave your gun
and your badge here
and get out of here.
The only reason
I don't suspend you
is because, if I did,
Kenny's conscience would
force him to tell me
what really happened.
And I'm afraid
if I knew the true facts,
I'd have no choice
but to bring criminal charges
against the both of you.
Now,
get the hell out of here.
(SIGHS)
A dinner by candlelight,
a quiet drink at my place,
we wouldn't even
wake my wife.
In my office, Doug.
Oh, boy. What now?
I'm a busy man.
This is
highly irregular.
I want to
retain your counsel.
You know about
the Kenny/Paulie thing?
Know about it?
I'd take the case,
but it would bring
me down in the polls.
Well, I want you to
take the case on our side.
I'm afraid we could be sued.
All right.
I'm on the dime.
Did you suspend Kenny?
Yes, I did.
Officially,
it is a suspension
pending investigation.
We don't have to hear
any admission of liability.
Best of all,
if the investigation
clears his name,
which I'm sure it will,
no press, don't blow it up,
and don't do anything
that may cause
a venue change.
What do you mean?
I mean, if there's a trial,
it should be held here
right in Rome.
Everyone here knows
who and what this Paulie is.
He couldn't swing a jury.
By the way,
where is Paulie now?
Oh, he's getting
stitched up by my wife.
Get over there. Apologize.
Show remorse
and then threaten
the hell out of him.
Threaten him?
Absolutely.
Let him know
that a civil trial
brought up by him
will dig up facts.
Facts about what happened
to Harold Lunster,
and facts that is
coming back to haunt him
in a criminal trial.
That's unethical.
We're not talking ethics.
We're talking about
saving your ass,
which, by the way,
is a close call, ethics-wise.
Just be subtle.
Well, we've been
going at it for 20 minutes.
Okay. And another matter,
the shooting.
I know you and Milch
are friends.
I think it was
all a campaign stunt
to get you sympathy.
Ooh! Such accusations
from a client.
I don't have time for this.
Just tell the truth, okay.
You got immunity, 20 seconds.
All right, Danny Milch
fired at the wall.
I pretended to be hit.
I get sympathy.
The Mayor gets
editorials in the paper
listing all the reasons
why he should be shot.
This is how you
serve democracy, Doug,
with a ridiculous
stunt like this?
I'm doing all it takes
to be elected.
That's as democratic
as it gets.
Jimmy?
Oh, Bill!
What are you doing here?
Hmm. You look thinner.
Get out.
I want to talk
to the Sheriff.
We have a deal.
Running for mayor, Jimmy?
Excuse me?
Word around town
is that they're gonna
draft you tonight
at the town meeting.
Let me tell you
something, Jimmy,
you'll just split my vote
and assure Wambaugh's
election.
Calm down.
I will not calm down.
You enter the ring
and it's war.
Oh, listen to me,
I sound like a madman.
I'm sorry. It's just...
The people are angry.
For the first time,
I'm seeing the seeds of hatred
in this town
and I can't...
Do you think
I'm fit to be mayor?
You've done
a great job, Bill.
You're a great mayor.
So what is it
they want from me
that I'm not giving them?
Hope.
You are gonna run,
aren't you?
I'm thinking about it.
The cane will take
some of the stress
off your legs.
That'll help your ribs.
Great.
You all right?
Big lawsuit coming, Jimmy.
We're talking major
litigation here.
Oh, come on, Paulie.
You helped
provoke the situation.
Tell it to the jury.
Get out of my way.
Kenny's state of mind
will go to his defense.
Whether or not
your goons beat up Harold,
whether or not
you bribed Harold
and the other selectmen,
well, that evidence
might seep out
in a civil trial if you sue.
Blackmail?
You see it your way,
I'll see it mine.
Sometimes I feel
I don't know you anymore.
I gotta protect
Kenny and the Department.
You wear that badge
to protect the people.
Oh, come on, Jill.
Don't make this about me.
You're my wife.
You're supposed
to be supportive.
Spousal duty
has nothing to do with it.
The support you get
from me is earned,
so is the disappointment.
* Start a brand new day
with Wambaugh
* Pave a brand new way
with Wambaugh
* He's a friend in our need
* He's the hope that you need
* Douglas Wambaugh
* Douglas Wambaugh
* Douglas Wambaugh today! *
Thank you, thank you.
Those were
the Wambaugh singers.
Aren't they wonderful?
Never mind that.
Let's-- Let's bring
this to order now.
Of course, Jimmy.
But first, I would like to
congratulate you
and the Department.
Friends of Rome,
we all love Harold Lunster
and, after his brutal attack,
it was inspiring to see
the quick action
of the sheriffs,
most notably our deputy,
Kenny Lacos,
who is sitting
right back there now.
JIMMY: Okay, okay.
Let's, uh...
Let's get to this.
Now, as you know,
this is speech night.
So all of our candidates
will give speeches
without interruption.
So we'll get right
to our first speaker,
who will be our
incumbent mayor,
Bill Pugen. Mayor Pugen.
MAN 1: All right, yeah.
MAN 2: Yeah.
Max?
Hey, Kenny.
Look, I'd like to
thank you for sticking up
for me today.
You want to thank me?
I jeopardized
my career for you.
Last night put a stain
on my record that I...
You're in the clear in this.
You didn't do nothing.
I was there, Kenny.
You committed
a vicious assault
and I stood back and watched.
You know, the only
reason we're still cops
is because
nobody videotaped it.
Well, you saw what
Paulie did to Harold.
And I saw what
you did to Paulie
and I covered for you.
We were bad cops, Kenny,
and all the applause
in the world
won't change that.
CROWD: We want Brock.
We want Brock.
We want Brock.
We want Brock.
Excuse me.
If I could be heard, please.
We want Brock!
This is out of order.
I'm giving a speech.
We want Brock!
We want Brock!
PUGEN: Ladies and gentlemen.
We want Brock!
I give you, uh,
Sheriff Jimmy Brock.
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
Thank you. Thank you.
Look...
You're the man, Jimmy.
MAN 3: You're our man, Jim.
MAN 4: He's got it.
I don't know
that I am your man.
You know, I wonder
how many of you out there,
when you watch the newscasts
from Milwaukee
or even Chicago,
see the crime in the streets,
the chaos,
the breakdown in community.
How many of you
privately celebrate
your good fortune
to be able to live
in a nice quiet town
like Rome, Wisconsin?
We really got something
here, don't we?
Problem is, we're losing it.
We got businessmen
bribing selectmen,
illegal break-ins, um,
deceptive campaign stunts,
candidates
circumventing the law
for their own political gain,
the Church trying to backdoor
into governmental influence,
thugs beating up witnesses,
people refusing to
cooperate with the law
because they don't
want to get involved.
Deputies resorting
to street justice
with no regard for the law.
Hatred.
A sheriff who turns his head
from all of the above
for the sake of expediency.
A sheriff who threatens
criminal investigation
to ward off civil liability.
A sheriff, I can tell you,
who has no place
being your mayor.
I would like to start
by being a better sheriff.
And I would like
to ask all of you
to start being a more
responsible citizenship.
And toward that end,
I ask you, please,
do not draft me
to run for mayor.
We got something
pretty special here.
We have good people.
We have a good town.
For God's sakes, take care.
Hey.
Hi.
What?
What are you doing?
I found this
at the front door.
Looks like a jack-in-the-box,
but it's been tampered with.
The screws are loose
and there's something
heavy at the bottom.
Oh, you think
it's a bomb?
I don't really think so,
but the way
things in this town
have been going...
Well, be careful.
I don't really
think it's a bomb.
I would know if it was...
What are you doing here?
You're suspended.
I had to see you.
I never meant
to hurt you, Max.
You know that.
Yeah, well,
the other night you said
all we had to do is hold up
our end of the system.
Our end broke down.
I know. And I'm sorry
for disgracing
the Department,
but most of all
for embarrassing you.
(WAMBAUGH THEME SONG PLAYING)
WAMBAUGH SINGERS:
* Start a brand new day
with Wambaugh
* Pave a brand new way... *
This town is madness,
you know that?
It reminds me of that song,
I Knew an Old Lady
Who Swallowed a Fly.
The what?
She swallowed a fly,
then swallowed the spider
to get the fly,
then swallowed...
Paulie bribes Harold.
Then to fix Paulie,
the Mayor commits burglary.
Then to fix that,
we obtain illegal evidence
to get Harold's testimony.
Then to fix that,
Paulie beats up Harold.
Then to fix that,
you beat up Paulie.
Then I cover up.
Then Jimmy fixes everything
with blackmail.
All that remind
you of a song?
It's a vicious cycle.
(SINGING I KNEW AN OLD LADY
WHO SWALLOWED A FLY)
* She swallowed the bird
to catch the spider
* That wriggled and jiggled
and tickled inside her
* She swallowed the spider
to catch the fly
* I dunno why
she swallowed the fly
BOTH: * Perhaps she'll die *