Picket Fences (1992–1996): Season 1, Episode 15 - Nuclear Meltdowns - full transcript

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Can't this wait
till band practice?

If your mother keeps me
waiting any longer,

we won't make band practice.

You had to make
the afternoon appointment.

She was booked all morning.

Maybe if you swing
a little daughter influence...

Okay, Jodie,
you're up. Hi, honey.

I'm feeling better, Dr. Brock.

I'm sure it was just
a 24-hour bug or something.

Okay, well, come on in,
anyway.

I'm dying, right?



You have that parent look.
It was the flu, right?

No.

The lab just called me
with your blood tests.

That nausea was
morning sickness, Jodie.

Morning sickness?

I'm afraid you're pregnant.

I can't be pregnant.
I can't be.
You are.

You can take a few days.
You can think about it.

Come back and see me,
and we'll discuss
your options.

You mean abortion.

Abortion, adoption,
motherhood, all these
choices belong to you.

But who?

It doesn't matter who...
You told me you were a virgin.

How can...
What difference
does it make, Kim?



What difference does it make?

We're supposed to be
close friends.
I poured my heart out to you

when my father caught me
in bed with Billy,

and the whole time,
you were sleeping
with somebody, too.

Look, last year, I had
a boyfriend in Windsor
before I moved here.

You never said anything
about a boyfriend in Windsor.

I don't like to
talk about him.

Anyway,

I saw him over Christmas,

and we did it.

And you didn't use anything?

No. I can't believe it.

I can't believe this.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to have it.
What else can I do?

Are you serious?

You know my father,
the Latter-day Saint.

You're a senior
in high school. What are you
going to do with a baby?

Abortion is a mortal sin
in our church, plus which,
my father would disown me.

You don't have to tell him.

I already did.

Kim, he wants me to have it.

License and registration,
please.

I was barely going
20 miles an hour.

Twenty miles an hour
through a stop sign.
License and registration.

Stay in the car, please.

I'm already out of the car.
Put that gun away.

What's your name?

Deputy Kenneth Lacos.

License and registration.

How long have you
lived in this town?

I'll ask the questions,
if you don't mind.

Lets start with
license and registration.

Here is my license

and registration.

Do you believe
in psychic fate?

I believe in stop signs more.

Is this your current address?

That's it.

It's 60 miles from here.
And you know what,
Deputy Lacos?

I got in my car this morning
and just started driving.

I didn't know where I was
going. I took the Rome exit,
but who knows why?

I can only tell you
I didn't feel like
I had a choice.

I didn't even see that
stop sign, and it wasn't
until I saw your face

that anything today
has made sense.

Sense?
You.

Some force brought me here.

I think that force
is for you and me
to be together.

Uh-huh.

Well, you're still
getting a ticket.

You have to talk to her.

Kimberly, if she chooses
to talk to me, I will,

but if she chooses not to...

It's like she's been
brainwashed.

She's not even considering
the consequences.

She's just thinking
about her religion.

Kimberly, I can talk to her
about her options,

but it would be wrong
for me or any doctor

to steer her toward
having an abortion.

She's 16.

She's also carrying a life.

This is a very emotional
subject, and age is not
the only determining factor.

But I also think...
What?

I don't know how
she got pregnant.
She's so straight.

She would never even
touch a cigarette or a drink.

Do you?

I've never seen her
with a boy.

If she had a boyfriend
in Windsor,
I would have heard about it.

What if she was raped
or something?
Raped?

Why would you think
she was raped?

I don't,

but something's
not right here.

We're very close, and I know.

Something's just not right.

You say somebody
stole your duck?

Our pet mallard.

We let him out in the back
yesterday, and I know
Bernie Thompson stole him.

How do you know that?
Cynthia saw him.

You saw him steal your duck?

No, but I've seen him
go after chickens, big ones.

But you didn't see him
take your duck.

Bernie Thompson was desperate
for a duck yesterday.

Sheila Lang said
he came by the farm
to see if they had any.

And he tried to buy Dalton
from us yesterday morning.

Who's Dalton?
Our duck.

Bernie wanted to buy him.
We said no.

So I think he came back
and snatched him.

I've seen him
go after chickens.

Big ones.

Excuse me just a second.

Maxine, would you go
over to Bernie Thompson's
house

and see if he's
got their duck?

I was going out there anyway.
We just got a 911.

Bernie's father, Ed,
just died.
Probably the cancer.

That's too bad.

Well, call the coroner's
office and get on out there,
would you, please?

She'll take care of you.

Excuse me.

Here's a check
to cover my ticket,

and I would like to apologize
for my behavior this morning.

I'm sure you found it
somewhat peculiar.

Somewhat.

Well, I don't quite
understand it myself.

All I can say is
I did have this overwhelming
compulsion

this morning to start driving.

I ended up in this town,
looking at your face.

It all seemed
incredibly deja vu.

I was wondering,
could we have dinner tonight?

Give me a break.

Look, I've got a problem
with people profiting

from breaking the law,
you know?

You run a stop sign,
you shouldn't get
a reward for that.

You're right. I'll buy dinner.

Then after, I'll reward you.

Okay, 8:00.

Pick me up here,

and drive safe.

Great. Until then.

Who's that?

Elena Shannon.

She ran a stop sign
this morning.
I gave her a ticket.

So the two of you
are going to have
dinner tonight?

What, you were listening, Max?

What about
conflict of interest,
professional responsibility,

not seeing a suspect socially?
Didn't you give me
a big speech on that?

She paid her fine.
She's just a citizen now.

Uh-huh.

Shouldn't you be going
to Bernie Thompson's house?

He has a dead father
waiting for you.

What?
It's just a formality,
Mr. Thompson.

Formality?
You don't do autopsies
on cancer victims.

There's not going to be
an autopsy.

We're just going to have
Carter look at the body
to make sure

there's no evidence
of foul play.

Foul play? What the hell
is going on here?

Nothing.
Take the body to Carter.

But while I do have you here,
do you have information

on the whereabouts
of the Parks' pet mallard?

I beg your pardon?
He's missing.

And you've been known
to chase chickens.

Look, I'm sorry. I know
this has been
a very difficult day for you.

My father has just died,

and you are questioning me
about missing ducks?

Now, I heard that
you were a gung-ho,
over-the-top detective.

Deputy.
Whatever. It's reprehensible.

Come on, Benji.

I'm not a gung-ho deputy.

Everybody thinks I'm a gung-ho
deputy. I'm just a deputy
that follows the law,

not a gung ho deputy.
What is gung? I'm good.

Hi.
Kimberly. What a surprise!

Is Jodie here?

Upstairs. Come on in.

I know she'll be glad
to see you.

MAN: Worst thing would be
to view this as a catastrophe.

This is not a catastrophe.

JODIE: What kind of life
will I be able to lead,
having a baby?

MAN: It's obviously God's way,
honey.

Whatever happens,
happens in His wisdom,

and we just have to accept it.

I know.
I just don't know
if I'm ready for this.

You know I'm with you,
don't you?

Forever. I'm always with you.

I need to know that.

We're practically
best friends, so we can
tell each other stuff, right?

Yeah.

When I came upstairs,
I heard you
and your father talking.

It sounded kind of private,
so I waited out in the hall,

but I could see in,

and I saw you
and your father kiss.

He's my father.
Of course we kiss each other.

Fathers and daughters
don't kiss like that, Jodie.

Is your father
the father of your baby?
No.

Of course not. No!

Jodie, you've never been
interested in any boys
at school.

What are you talking about?
You've never even
been on a date.

So my father and I kiss
a little different.
That doesn't mean anything.

That doesn't mean anything.

If your father is
sexually molesting you...

Shut up, Kim!

Is he molesting you?
Shut up!

Jodie.
It's not what you think.

He's not molesting me.
There's been no abuse.

We've chosen
to love each other.

You can't know
what you're doing.

I do know what I'm doing.

This is between us.
I know exactly what I'm doing.

CARTER:
I think it's natural causes.

MAXINE: Natural causes?

I can't be sure
without an autopsy.

Let me cut this guy open.
No.

I like to be thorough,
Maxine.
No.

Unless you can find a hint
of foul play, there's to be
no autopsy. Jimmy said.

Well, there's no bruising.
I took some blood.

Carter.
I can do that.

It was clean.
Here's the stomach contents.

I'll get it to the lab,
but as you can see,
he didn't eat much.

Hair and kidney samples
go to the lab.
Eye fluids?

Fine.

There's something up his nose.

What?

It's a feather
that belonged to a duck.
Are you sure?

I did two years of veterinary
school. I know a duck feather
when I see it.

This looks like a mallard.

Do your autopsy.

Really?
Do it. Fast.

(CLATTERING)

BERNIE: What the hell
is wrong with you?

Don't give me that, Bernie.

We know you were looking
high and low
for a duck yesterday.

The Parks' mallard is missing,

and we pulled a feather
out of your father's
right nostril.

If you don't
tell us everything,
I'll place you under arrest.

For what, duck-napping?

I'm not kidding.

All right, look,

I took the thing.
My father was dying.
He was obviously near the end.

His favorite food in the whole
world is duck, and that
was his dying request.

You ate Dalton?

I went to every grocery store.

I ran around to half
the farmers in this town.

Try getting a duck
in the middle of winter.

You just ate him?

Look, I didn't know
it was somebody's beloved pet.

I thought it was...

My father was dying, Maxine.
He wanted a last supper.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

So this deja-vu thing
when you saw my face,
let's hear it again.

You're enjoying this.

This must be
the ultimate male fantasy.

The woman driven by the gods.

Can't resist.

You know, Deputy,
I'm not a forward woman.

In fact, some of my friends
might even describe me

as slightly frigid.

Oh, really?
Slightly.

But I can't even look at you
without wanting to drain you

of every last ounce of...

Of what?

Nothing.

Don't.

Don't even think of kissing me

because if we go,

we go.

So you stop right there.

Mr. Elyse?

Now, Mom,
this goes no further.

I promised Jodie
I wouldn't tell anyone.

You've got to convince her
to see a counselor.

She won't even admit
that what she's doing
is wrong.

Well, then,
let me talk to her.

No.
Kimberly, honey,
now, listen to me.

This goes way beyond
keeping your friends' secrets.

We're talking about incest.

Aside from the baby's risk
of severe birth defects,

Jodie's psychological
well-being is at stake.

Psychologically,
she seems fine.
She's a straight-A student.

She gets along fine
with everyone.

And she's having sex
with her own father.

She needs help, Kimberly.

You promised
you would keep this private.

I know. I'm sorry.
I understand that,

but I didn't know
what you were
about to tell me.

Mom.
Honey.

You're trying to save
a friendship. I'm asking you
to save your friend.

(WOMAN MOANING)

You having car problems?

No, I just pulled over
to rest my eyes.

Rest your eyes?

Everything all right, then?

Yes, fine.

Well, you have a nice evening.

Thanks.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

The father?
JILL: She saw them kissing.

Then when Kimberly
confronted Jodie...

What are you doing?
I'm going to arrest him.

Hold on a minute.
Honey. Honey,

Kimberly told me this
in confidence.
I don't think that we can...

Her friend
is a victim of incest.

As the Sheriff,
I can't just do nothing.
As a doctor, you...

Yes, yes, but we came
upon this information
as parents.

Jimmy, let's just be parents.

Let's just be selfish parents.
Meaning what?

Meaning that our relationship
with Kimberly
has been strained lately.

I don't want to
betray her trust.

The incest is ongoing, Jill.

Could you really
live with staying silent?

No,

but to make your own daughter
turn state's evidence?

It's hard enough
to be the daughter
of the Sheriff.

I can't arrest the man
without her.

Not yet.

No, that dead man
had no duck for dinner.

Well, how can you be sure?

I pumped his stomach.
He hadn't eaten anything
for days,

except a couple of
stewed apricots.
Now, he was very sick,

probably had no appetite.

I have a hard time believing
he'd want anything so gamy
as a mallard duck.

Well,
what did the autopsy say?

No sign of foul play.

Everything was normal,
except for
the feathered nostril.

Now, he also had
a bracelet on his ankle
with the word "Alabar" on it.

That could mean something.

Something's funny here.

Bernie Thompson goes
to that strange church
on Patterson Hill,

and I've seen
the word "Alabar"
in some of their pamphlets.

Really?

I think it's a cult.

Maybe they worship ducks
and inhale feathers.

No religion
snorts ducks' feathers.

How would you know?
You never go to church.

Never mind.

When's the memorial
for the father?

Tomorrow.
The service is private.

Well, we're going to be there.

I don't think they
let in outsiders.

I'll dress in civvies.
Ginny, you're gonna
go with me.

We'll tell them
we're relatives.

We don't know those people,
and they don't know us.

Something could be going on.

Maybe it does involve
that church.

Absolutely not.

Listen to me, Kimberly.
No, you listen!

Jodie told me in private,
and I told Mom in private.

I don't care.
I do care.

I am not turning
state's evidence.

I cannot arrest her father
without your testimony.

Look, you don't
play sheriff with me.

That's the deal.
That's the understanding.

I am your daughter,

not the in-house informant.
I know about
the understanding,

but this is too serious
a matter.

No.
Hey.

You sat in this room
with me a month ago

and told me I'm growing up.

I thought that meant
you'd be treating me
like an adult,

and look at you,
ordering me around
like a child again.

I'm asking you to
make hard choices here.

I cannot arrest Jodie's father
without your testimony.

Now, maybe that's
going to cause you
to lose a friendship.

Hard choices.

It doesn't get any more
adult than this.

I made my hard choice.

I'm keeping
my promise to Jodie.
I am obligated to my word.

Okay.

Tomorrow, I try
to break down Jodie's father,

and your mother tries
to break down Jodie.

You can't do this.

You have declared
your priorities.

Now we're declaring ours.

This is an absolute
invasion of my privacy.

You think I'm concerned
with your privacy,

having sexual relations
with your own daughter?

That's false.
That's not false.

My daughter saw...
Your daughter saw a kiss.

A passionate kiss.
A kiss.
Yes, a kiss on the lips,

atypical between father
and daughter but not illegal.

There is no law anywhere
that says it is illegal

for a man to kiss
his daughter on the lips.

God knows our private lives
are legislated enough
in this country,

but nowhere, no law anywhere,
not even in Wisconsin,

makes it a crime for
a daughter and her father
to kiss that way.

Well, there's certainly a law
against intercourse.

You have evidence
of intercourse?
Do you, Counsel?

I will blood type
that baby when it's born.

If we make a connection...
If there's another invasion
of my privacy...

You hear me, you sick son of
a bitch. If you're sleeping
with your daughter,

I'm going to get you.
What you're going to get
is a lawsuit.

Shut up!

I don't give a damn
about your privacy,

your legal rights or the law.
If you're sleeping
with your daughter,

I'm going to nail your butt.

That's a threat.
I want that on the record.

I didn't hear a thing.

What happened last night?

Dinner. It was good.

Where did you eat?

She brought Chinese over.

To your apartment?
Yeah.

So what?
You ate, then hung out,
maybe watched some TV?

Yeah, sort of.

What did you watch?

What do you mean?
I don't know what we watched.

What? You watched TV,

and you can't even remember
the program?

Maybe we didn't watch TV.

You slut.
Max!

You slept with her.

I didn't say anything
about...

Mr. "I Heat Up Fast"
Chinese Food,

you slept with her!

I'm not going to
tell you what I did,

but even if
something did happen,
what business is it of yours?

If you're sexually intimate
with someone,

I, as your partner,
have a right to know.

You do?
Yes, I do.

We've been shot at together.

We've been exposed
to each other's blood.
It could happen again,

and in this day of AIDS,
if you're sleeping around,

you put me at risk.

What?
I'm being serious.

Oh, God.

What's going on?

Max is afraid I'll get shot
again and give her AIDS.

Kenny.

We're having a professional
discussion. That's all.

But you'll have to excuse me
because
I'm late for a funeral.

She's getting crazier
every day.

Right.

Kenny,

that woman you ticketed
yesterday...

Elena?
Yeah, yeah.

It's none of my business
who you choose to date, Kenny,

but I saw her last night.

She was parked along the side
of the road about 9:00,

and she was
in the back seat...

It's really
none of my business.

Jimmy, at 9:00,
she was in my apartment
with me.

No, it was definitely her,
Kenny.

What time did she leave?

7:00 this morning.
She stayed with me all night.

Really?

She's lying.
Jodie, we both know
my daughter,

and we both know
she's not lying.

Then she misunderstood.
My boyfriend in Windsor

got me pregnant.
Who? What boyfriend?

My business.
Jodie, try to understand this.

You are in an extremely
unhealthy situation,

which will cripple you both

emotionally
and psychologically.
Trust me on this.

I'm not trusting you.
I'm not trusting Kimberly.

Listen to me.
Get your hands off me!

All right, you want to walk
out that door, I'm going to
let you, but know this.

However much you think
you love your father,

however much you
think this is okay,

you're going to end up
destroyed,

dysfunctional, maybe
even institutionalized.

If I'm scaring you, I mean to.

You don't know
how desperate you are.

Kimberly made it all up,

and you don't know
what you're talking about.

Be seated.

Our Savior brings us joy.

ALL: We embrace his joy.

Hallowed be his love.

ALL: We embrace his love.

PRIEST: Revel in his peace.

ALL: We embrace his peace.

We're undercover.

In the name and spirit
of Alabar,

in that Edward Thompson's
spirit and eternal life

be blessed
in the eyes of Alabar...

(BLEATING)

What the hell?

...in our sacrifice...

What?

...feel our love
and worship. Amen.
ALL: Amen.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

What are you doing?
Wait. Please, wait a minute.

You freeze.

Put that thing down. Now.

How dare you?
This is a religious ceremony.

Do it.
You are all under arrest.

Everybody up.

Keep those hands
above your head.
You are all under arrest!

Move it! Now! Quick!

This is a religious ceremony,
and we have a right,

a First Amendment right,
to do what we're doing.

MAXINE: Move it! Now!
Will somebody...

MAXINE: Come on.

Let's go.
Let's move it in there.
Maxine,

you arrested
the whole congregation?

They're all in on it, Jimmy.

It's a conspiracy.

Conspiracy of what?

Conspiracy to sacrifice
animals, to commit mutilation.

They took this goat...

It was sick. Sick.

It was religion,
religious worship.

What kind of worship calls
for slitting
a helpless animal's throat?

It's an ancient religion
known as Afari.

It's growing
in the mainstream.

Well, it ain't going to
grow in Rome.
Maxine.

That's why I needed the duck.
Sacrifice is a means
of honoring Alabar.

It's done to cure the sick
and to celebrate
birth and death,

and the duck has
special healing powers,

so when my father took a turn
for the worse,
I was desperate.

What about the goat?

Today's ceremony
was to celebrate
my father's death.

So you sacrificed a duck
to heal your father?

My father wanted to live.

Could you leave us alone,
please?

Release him.

What?
Stealing a duck
is a misdemeanor.

You can't lock him up
for that.

He didn't just steal it.

He chopped its head off
and drained its blood.
What do you call that?

If it was a turkey,
I'd call it Thanksgiving.

This is a satanic cult, Jimmy.
We have to shut them down.

KIMBERLY: Daddy?

All right, book the priest.
Release the others.

What's up, sweetheart?

Mom said Jodie
denied everything.

Yeah.

Are you going to
arrest her father?

I don't have
enough evidence yet.

I'd like to make
a statement as a witness.

What?

I saw them kiss.
I know what she told me.

I'd like to make
an official complaint.

Are you sure?

She's in trouble,

and I'm coming forward.

JIMMY: Elyse.
Yes?

You're under arrest
for violation
of chapter 944.06 and 8,

incest with a minor.

This is a mistake.

You made it.
Hands up against the wall.

You have the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say
can and will be used
against you.

You have the right
to an attorney.
If you cannot afford one,

one will be provided to you
by the State of Wisconsin.

(POLICE SIREN WAILING)

Elena? Elena!

I'm okay. I'm okay.
Take it easy.

How's your head?
I'm all right. Who did I hit?

She's on the curb. She's okay.

Should run them both in
to get checked.

Is she okay?
Both parties are okay.

I ain't got the details yet.
Can she stand?

Yeah, she can stand.
All right, let's get her
over to Jill's.

Are you all right?
Yeah, I...

Oh, my God. You have a twin?

I didn't even know
I had a sister.

Okay, they're fine.
A few bumps and bruises,
but they're going to be okay.

And before today,
one never knew
that the other existed?

Never. They were separated
at birth through adoption.

It's unbelievable.

I've read about this
phenomenon with twins before,
but to actually see it...

See what?
The psychic connection.

The other one's given
name was Helen,

but she felt compelled
to drop the "H,"
so Ellen and Elena.

They said they felt
this unconscious
drive to unite,

which led them to Rome
and to meet.

In a head-on collision.

I know. And it gets better.

They were both
music majors in school.
They both drive Camaros.

Poorly.

Elena is in public relations.
Ellen's in advertising.

Elena broke her leg
three years ago,

and Ellen couldn't walk
because of
the excruciating pain.

They've actually felt symptoms
of diseases
that the other one had.

It's incredible.
Can I go and see them?

Yeah, go ahead.

We found it in a shallow grave

with some other carcasses
behind the church.

Do you think
that Cynthia would...

Just let us see it
so we can go home, please,

put this whole mess behind us.

Oh, yes, that's Dalton.
Hello, Dalton.
He has this little smile.

What kind of a priest
would murder a duck?

All right, honey, put it down.

She's upset.

I can shellac him.

I hope you prosecute.

What's happening
to this community?
It used to be safe.

He would make a good keychain.

Never mind.

(QUACKING)

So this force
that brought
you to Rome was...

It was to reunite you
with your sister, not me.

I guess, but Kenny,
the feeling that I got
when I saw your face,

that feeling
was very real, too.

Like you'd seen him before?

But I couldn't remember.

That's the face
that I saw last night.

You know, when I had to...

Pull the car over?
Yes.

What are you talking about?

Kenny, last night when
you and I were making love,
Ellen had an orgasm.

It just happened.
I didn't do anything.

I pulled my car over
to the side of the road,

and the Sheriff just,
kind of, caught me.

This is weird.

We've had to live
with this weirdness...
Our whole lives.

Never knowing what it is...
Until now.

It wasn't an easy thing
to do.

I'm sure it was
the toughest thing,

you know, but now you can
put it behind you,
you know, move forward.

Jodie.
Do you think
I get to put it behind me?

I'm pregnant!

I need all the family,
all the support, I can get,

and now Michael
could be going to jail,

all because you...
Don't you see
how sick this is?

You even call him Michael.
He's your father.

You shouldn't be calling him
Michael. You shouldn't be
sleeping with him.

You shouldn't be
having his baby.

I don't care about your rules,

about society's rules.
Society isn't always right.

I mean, look at how screwed up
family life is
in this country.

No family is more
screwed up than yours.

I asked you to trust me.
You didn't!

I need him!

He loves me.
He takes care of me,

and that may not be
your version
of what a family should...

But it works,

and I need him.

You need help,

but not from him.

If my father goes to jail,
everybody's life is ruined.

They can't prosecute him
without your testimony.

I'm begging you
as my best friend,

please, don't testify.

As your best friend,
I'm testifying.

BAILIFF: 32662,
People of Wisconsin v.
Jesus Lendehas.

Chapter 951.

This the animal-cruelty one?

Douglas Wambaugh
for the goat killer.

I move to dismiss
on constitutional grounds

and freedom of religion.

Religious freedom
has never been
an absolute, Your Honor.

The defendant
and his cult have purposely...

Objection to the term cult.
It is not a good word, "cult."

WOMAN: You defend everybody.
MAN: Shut up.

Quiet!

I ask that they all be jailed
and strip-searched, Judge.

Wambaugh,
I'm in a lousy mood today.

Forgive me,

but how is one to tell?

Your Honor, animal sacrifice
is an extremely
cruel and primitive practice,

one that cannot be condoned
by this community
or any other.

I mean,
we are talking about
savage treatment...

Who are you kidding?

Half the men
in this town hunt.

They're out shooting
birds and deer,

cutting off their heads,
mounting them on their wall.

I would submit, Your Honor,
that that's different.

Oh? Why?

He's asking you why.

Hunting and fishing,
its essence
is the food chain,

and the prey is often eaten,
and on sustenance grounds...

Your Honor,
my client ate the goat,
and it was delicious.

It's a barbaric practice.
The animal's throat is slit.

The blood is drained out
into a big pot.

That's exactly
what our slaughterhouses
do to cows.

It may be barbaric, Counsel,
but it certainly isn't new.

I was afraid of this.

We kill animals for food.
We kill them for furs
and fashion.

How can I sit up here and say
it's okay to murder an animal

for the sake of a hamburger
or a mink coat,

but it's not okay
for religious worship?

That's blatant hypocrisy.
I won't do it.

Mr. Lindyhouse, on your feet.

Lendehas.

What you're doing
in that church of yours
makes no sense to me,

but I also understand

religious faith starts up
where reason leaves off.

I'm letting you go, sir,

but if you so much as chop up
anybody's pet ever again...

I didn't know it was a pet,
Judge.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, you damn well make sure.

I got two dogs and a cat.

If I even see you
look at them funny,

you'll end up knowing
the true meaning of sacrifice,

and it will be from
the other side of the fence.
You got it?

Yes, sir.

And may I say...

No, you may not say. Shut up.

This case is dismissed.

(GAVEL POUNDING)

(CROWD CHATTERING)

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You people were all
bitching and moaning

when you couldn't have
your Christmas pageant.

You want your religion.
Yes, yes. Well, they're just
as entitled to theirs.

Next case.

Individuality is a very
strange thing, Kenny.
I never felt I had it,

until now,
until I found Ellen.

You're telling me that
you can't be an individual
unless you're a twosome?

I know it sounds crazy,
but yes.

See, Dr. Brock says
we have something called
a unit identity.

Which means
we can't be whole...

Unless we're together.

Well, I'm very happy
for the both of you.

Kenny, we're not telling you
this to help you
better understand twins.

ELENA: There's an agenda.

We find you
extremely attractive.

And kind.

And sensitive.

And...

This is weird.
This is weird.

We'd like to pursue
a relationship.

Excuse me?

The three of us.
We're both very
monogamous women.

We need to be with each other

to really achieve
any fulfillment emotionally.

We'd like you to be
our boyfriend.

Your boyfriend?

You and I really connected,

and you can't deny that,

and if you connected with me,
I know you'd connect
with Ellen.

Your boyfriend?

You think you could handle
that, dating twins?

I could give it a try.

BAILIFF: 321211,
People of Wisconsin
v. Michael Elyse.

Chapter 944, charge of incest.

Douglas Wambaugh,
appearing for the family man.

I move for immediate
dismissal, Judge, on grounds
of religious freedom.

WOMAN 1: What does he mean?
Please.

It worked so well
the last time.

How dare you make
sport of this?

The man is having sex
with his own daughter,

and you're finding humor?

Jodie Elyse is not Michael's
daughter, Your Honor.

What do you mean,
she's not his daughter?

She's his wife.

WOMAN 2: His wife!

BONE: Quiet down.

I'd like to show you
their marriage license.

Jodie Elyse's real age
is 18 years and four months.

They were married
nine months ago.

Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.
Just a second. Just a second.

Who the hell is that woman
sitting behind him?

DOUGLAS: That's Lisanne Elyse,
also his wife.

My client is a Mormon,
Your Honor.

That's why I raised the issue
of religious freedom.

(CROWD MURMURING)

Chambers. Everybody. Now.

We lied because of the law.

Plus, she wanted to enroll
in high school,
and it seemed the best way.

And you're a part of this?

I love her, too.
We're a family.

Just because you can't
accept our faith...

Wait a minute.

Mormons don't practice
polygamy anymore.

The Church has condemned it.

The Church was forced
to condemn it by federal law.

Otherwise, the whole religion
would have been banned.

There's still a lot of Mormons
that believe in polygamy,

and I'm one of them.

We have a loving home.
We contribute
to this community.

We are a giving people
who cherish one another.

Judge, I'm very moved.

Well, I'm not.
Polygamy is against the law.

You broke that law.

Now, I need to talk
to the lawyers. Please.
There's the door. Get out.

The only thing I've ever
kept from you, Kim,
is that I'm married.

That's a pretty big detail,
Jodie.

You can't expect me to feel
that I know you.

You know me.

Now you just know me
a little better.

You're 18, you're a Mormon,
and you're married.

We do love each other.

It may not be a typical home,

but there's a lot of
love and support.

Not a lot of families
have that.

Yeah.

Look, you can't just kick it.
Why?

The incest is out anyway.
Well, what about bigamy?

The guy has two wives.

So plead it out.

You want Wambaugh appealing it

all the way up to
the Supreme Court,
wasting tax dollars?

He's never going to
overturn the law
against polygamy.

The point is, I'll try.
I'm a character.

And he may go farther
than you think.

What are you saying, Judge?

The law against polygamy
was drafted in the 1800s,

when the legislators
had a very strict
interpretation of family.

That interpretation
is no longer valid.

Insurance laws, marriage laws,
inheritance laws,

they're all being rewritten
to recognize new kinds
of domestic partnerships.

Maybe polygamy
won't be embraced,

but the traditional concept
of family in this country

no longer has meaning.

Are you sitting there
as an officer of this court,

saying you're willing
to legitimize polygamy?

As a jurist, no.

As a realist, common-law
marriages exist all over.

There's nothing to stop
the Elyses
from living together

in a common-law union.

Rome is not ready for this.

Oh, now, now, now,
you don't want to
open up this Pandora's box.

Plead it out.

Drop all charges

in exchange for their
officially dissolving
one of the marriages.

Let them live together
if they want.

Rome is going to flip.

No, no, no, not if
the marriage with the girl
is dissolved on the books.

Make it go away, Counsel.
Family values,
definitions of family,

it's a mine field.
This is a much bigger bomb
than you think.

The test case is coming,
and I don't want him
to have it.

Make it go away.

MAN: Kenny,
somebody's here to see you.

How long do we have to
sit here like this?

I guess until Daddy feels
he can get up
and drive us home.

We live in a world
without norms.

Religion and family and law,
there just are no norms
anymore.

Society always
pushed morality on us.

Good or bad, it was clear.

Now

society's pushing tolerance.

And that's good.

Yeah, but I feel like
the country is coming

into a kind of
moral adolescence.

Sometimes freedom comes
at the expense of structure,

and that can be
a little frightening.

JILL: Come on, sweetheart,

don't overreact.

I mean,
we're always going to be
a land of convention.

There may always
be some religions
that like to kill ducks,

and there will always be
some philosophies

that skew the interpretation
of traditional family,

but we'll always be a land
of convention
and social norms,

especially here in Rome.

ELENA: We're going to be late.
KENNY: Let me check out.

Jimmy,

all the paperwork's done.
We're going out to dinner.

Okay.

KENNY: You've met Jill.

Kimberly, my girlfriends
Elena and Ellen.

Hi.

Hi.
Hi.

Come on, I'm starved.

Me, too.
Me, too.

(DOOR CLOSES)