Norsemen (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Funeral - full transcript
Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
Hi.
Spit in the pot, Hildur.
All who seek answers, spit in the pot.
OK. I guess I can spit a little.
You can do better than that.
No answers without a real gob.
You wish to know if your husband,
the chieftain, survives.
Yes.
[moaning]
Hi.
-How's it going here?
-Good, good.
[coughing]
You feeling OK?
As I like to say:
It's not how you're doing, it's...
-it's how you handle it.
-That's so true.
I'm sure you'll be fine.
I mean, how bad can it be?
Arvid?
Feel my heart.
No, really feel it for real.
-It's still strong, isn't it?
-Yeah. Feels fine.
Just like a heart is supposed to feel
when you grab it... directly.
Some blood there again.
But it's OK.
I'll just wash it off.
I see fire.
And...
I see... drigs and dregs.
Knecks and drops.
Does that mean
he will survive or die or...?
The gods are not ready
to receive him yet.
That's great news!
I was really worried. I mean,
He's laying down in the house
with his guts
basically hanging out
for everyone to see.
If I die, Odin forbid,
I want you to be chieftain.
Not that girly-boy Orm.
Me, as chieftain?
I don't know...
Believe in yourself, Arvid.
You have it all in you,
you just don't know it yet.
But Orm is next in line.
So wouldn't that sour the mood a little?
This is my decision.
Tomorrow I'll inform the village.
Loki!
[creaking]
No one?
Drink.
You must drink from the Prophesy Pot
if the prophesy is to come true.
How many have spit in here before me?
I mean, I'm guaranteed
to be sick if I drink that.
That's just how it works.
Seriously?
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Agreed, but,
can I ask you one question?
Do you personally see to it
that these prophesies come true?
No, I don't control the future.
The gods do.
I'm merely a messenger. Drink, come on.
If you don't have any influence,
I'd rather not drink that crap.
Because, I mean,
the result is already given.
You can't quarrel your way
out of destiny.
Drink, and the prophecy
will be fulfilled.
Everyone drinks.
Everyone has always drunk.
Yes, but to be quite honest with you,
I think it's strange that no one
has questioned this practice before.
I mean, it's not logical.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to make your job harder.
But just drinking spit
simply doesn't work for me.
OK. Look in the chest.
-The Map to the West?
-Yes.
Unfortunately it's not ours to keep.
I promised Jarl Varg that if
we found our way across the ocean
he should have the map.
This is very important, Arvid.
Varg, he's...
How should I put it?
A quite unpredictable
and hot-headed man.
We could end up with some
big problems.
Orm is here.
-Arvid.
-Orm.
So,
dear brother...
How are you really doing?
Well, I can't help but complain.
Well put.
But seriously, Orm,
I'm not in my best shape here.
I cannot even lift my arms.
Really?
That bad?
So...
If I do
this.
How does that feel?
Can you push upwards at all?
No, not a chance.
No? OK. So...
So your arms and upper body are
too weak. What about your neck?
Can you nod, or headbutt?
Headbutt?
[chuckles]
No way.
No?
-Hi.
-Hi.
How are you?
Well...
I don't know. It's...
I've been better, I suppose.
Yeah.
How about you?
How are you?
I don't know. I just feel we have to
put our faith in Thor and Odin.
At least the shaman was
really positive. So...
-Really?
-Yeah.
You know,
the crazy thing is...
If Olav won't survive,
gods forbid,
he said he wanted me
to take over as chieftain.
-He said that?
-Yeah.
I don't know. I'm probably not
the right guy for that job.
Arvid.
I think you will be
a wonderful chieftain.
Yes! You're so, you're so... kind.
And honest and warm and strong...
Really strong.
The chieftain is dead!
He's dead in there!
He's dead!
-Olav!
-Olav has departed. It's terrible.
I'm completely crushed.
-I should have been there.
-It went quickly towards the end.
The only thing I know
is that he died of natural causes.
Did he have time to tell you he wanted
me to take over as chieftain?
Yes, yes.
And his last words were that
that was just a very grotesque joke.
That was not my impression,
it was a joke.
You know what they say:
Those who take a joke just as a joke,
and seriousness seriously, they have
actually understood both poorly.
-Yeah?
-And here the seriousness was the joke.
I didn't quite catch that.
But I don't know if I can accept this
just like that.
Everyone here knows
that I am next in line.
If you have a problem with that,
then we have something
called "blood eagle"!
Seriously?
Is that how you intend to handle this?
That's exactly
how I intend to handle this, Arvid!
That is how I handle things like this!
[clears throat]
[clears throat]
Odin.
Today
you can set the great hall
in Valhalla
with your finest tableware.
Hang up your most festive curtains
and decorate with wildflowers.
In all the beautiful colors
of the rainbow.
For today Olav is arriving.
Dearest brother.
Chieftain Olav.
If you still had been among us today,
I know that you would have
given me a good, long hug
and said how much you regret
the way you have treated me.
For so many, many years.
You would probably shed a little tear too
while thinking about all the times
you didn't include me
in games as a child.
And fun and parties as an adult.
[sniffs]
But dry your tears, Olav.
For I know that you would have said
that our village is now
in the best of hands
with me as the new chieftain!
[chanting]
Push him out.
Farewell, brother!
Farewell, brother!
Why don't you just let me
do that, because I...
No, no, it's just that my
hands are very cold.
And these arrows are too slippery
for my style of shooting.
[lights arrow]
This is ridiculous!
The raft has to be set aflame
or else he won't get to Valhalla.
Yes, yes.
[lights arrow]
-Give me the bow. Give me the bow.
-No, no.
Just let Arvid do it!
I'll do it. I'll handle it.
He's my brother.
-Come on. This is really important.
-Orm!
Just one more arrow, just to be sure.
For Thor and Odin's sake,
let Arvid do it!
No, no, no, no.
It's too late. It's too late.
If Thor and Odin had wanted me to hit,
then I would have done it.
And I think it's very important
just to respect that.
[crowd boos]
Who dares boo their own chieftain?
I'm really, really disappointed.
You shouldn't boo your own chieftain.
That's just child's knowledge.
Try firing an arrow with really cold
fingers yourself before you start booing.
Have any of you
ever tried to fire an arrow
with really frozen fingers?
No, that's what I thought.
It really has a huge effect.
So, but now you've learned
something today, as well.
And there's no need to feel
down in the mouth.
Because next weekend it's funeral feast!
Welcome, welcome.
A bit late.
The funeral was yesterday.
We're not here for the funeral.
Rumor has it you went
on a raid to the West?
Yes, yes, yes. Yes, indeed.
A very successful raid.
Chieftain Olav swore that
he would draw up a map.
To show how to get there.
A map?
That's the first I've heard of it.
I think my brother would have shared
that information with me.
There's supposed to be a map
among Olav's possessions.
A map showing the route
to the West or something?
Yeah, right, that.
We sent that out with the funeral raft.
We thought we'd include some of
his most prized possessions.
And he really was a fan of that map.
-Are you serious?
-Serious as cancer.
Jarl Varg won't like this.
No, but it is what it is.
The map is gone, and that's
just very, very unfortunate.
Yeah. It's very unfortunate.
That map...
Was it very valuable?
Yeah, the map was extremely valuable.
-You can row, right?
-Yeah, I can row like a Viking.
Good.
I'm sending you on a secret mission.
-Wow.
-Yes.
You have to row out
and find Olav's funeral raft.
And you don't dare come back
before you've found that map.
No, of course.
Well, well, well.
Rufus of Rome.
I promised we would meet again.
We had that
certain
bond.
We had that special...
-Chemistry?
-No, no, that's not what I meant.
I have to say that what you mentioned
about theater and acting,
really piqued my interest.
-OK?
And I'm trying to get some
sort of cultural lift.
And I really want something like
that to happen here in Norheim.
Well, making a theater production
is very resource demanding.
Is it?
Mostly regarding human capital.
Human capital?
Yeah, I mean, creative and talented minds.
And most of all,
lots of theater experience.
Oh, yes.
That's absolutely essential.
Experience, experience...
Which I happen to have, by the way.
An overload of experience.
And talent.
Talent?
Yes, they say I am
a once-in-a-generation talent.
Wow.
So they say.
Rufus, I truly want to see with my own
eyes what you are capable of.
I want you to prepare some
highlights of your repertoire
for the feast tonight.
Can you do that?
Yes. I can do that.
Good.
"And from under the veil,
he rose and sang a song!"
"About the mother of all creation."
"For you sang the Achaeans' fate
with truth and feeling."
"All of their actions
and their suffering."
"All the efforts
they exerted..."
People!
This... this is beautiful!
These are Odysseus's words to the
skald Demodocus in The Odyssey .
It's art!
-Your first performance was incredible.
-Thank you. I'm actually an actor.
-An educated actor.
-Rufus, could I steal you for a moment?
I'm just going to pee-pee,
and then I can meet you outside.
Yes, sure.
Loki!
Have you read these rune sticks?
No, but I've seen tons of them
up by the latrine.
People are sitting there reading them
and laughing. What are they?
Rune sticks about me. And very
childish messages, I have to say.
Huh, wow.
But now that I'm chieftain,
I can finally put a stop to all this.
Shall I?
Do you need help?
Listen, I've...
You know, speaking of theater, I, I...
I was very impressed by
what you did in there.
Oh, really?
And I've been thinking
and I want to ask you:
Do you want to be
a theater man?
-A theater man?
-Yes.
Someone who knows everything
and has the big responsibility
and all that.
I wonder if you might mean...
creative director?
Yes! Yes, yes.
Absolutely.
I just didn't remember
the term, at the moment.
Is that something that maybe
is possible, that you might want to do?
I'm not sure you're fully aware
of who you're engaging.
Because I'm uncompromising
when it comes to art.
Yes, no, it's very important
to be uncompromising.
I need full creative freedom.
And I need to do things my way.
This has to be taken serious.
Yes, no, but indeed,
but I am very serious.
Then my recommendation
is to take immediate action.
To lift this town up
from this barbaric shithole
that it is now.
How do we do that?
Well, the obvious thing would be
to make an installation.
An installation? Yes.
That's a great idea. Let's do it.
What is that?
Well, it's a three-dimensional sculpture
made of objects,
often objects
from everyday life.
The important thing here
is its symbolic value.
-Yes.
-It's invaluable.
Great, great.
How do you see this?
How do you imagine it?
I have a very exciting vision.
Vision? Yes.
That's very important.
[men chattering]
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me!
What in Hel do you think you're doing?
-Isn't this a funeral party?
-Yes, sort of.
But it started some time ago.
And punctuality is a virtue.
Which is something
I've decided to start saying.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
We were just sitting around drinking.
-And had such a nice time.
-And?
You know how it is.
The pre-party's usually the best part.
When you get to the actual party,
everyone goes to their...
Arvid, Arvid, Arvid.
Hush, hush, hush.
Hush.
This is a feast
to honor your new chieftain.
Not some anecdotal get-together
about the excellence
of pre-parties contra parties.
Isn't this feast supposed to be
in memory of Olav?
Aren't we going to pour out mead
and laugh and cry and mourn and stuff?
Arvid, if I as the brother
of the deceased
have managed to move on and forget,
I think the rest of you
can do the exactly same.
And anyway, I thought this would be
a perfect occasion for certain people
to swear allegiance to their
new chieftain and show respect.
-Which certain people?
-You, Arvid.
Unless you'd rather become a niding
and be chased away from the village?
-No, of course not.
-No?
Wonderful. Lovely.
Lovely. Kiss my hand.
-Huh?
-Kiss my hand!
Kiss it.
Kneel.
See?
That wasn't so hard, was it?
You have a new chieftain
and a new regime.
And by tomorrow you will see
that things have changed around here.
Orm?
What in Loki's name, Orm?
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the rune-stick
maker himself.
-What?
-I said, well, well, well.
If it isn't the rune-stick
maker himself.
Okay.
Hildur, I pray to Thor and Odin
that you my dear sister-in-law
are not responsible for this.
I have no clue
what you're talking about.
So none of you have
been carving runesticks
with insulting
messages about me?
It wasn't me, but what does it say?
It doesn't matter what it says.
That's beside the point.
-Have you done this?
-No.
Well, I know it's one of you.
So perhaps the guilty party would like
to come forward and confess right away
so we can get this over with.
No? OK. OK!
Then I guess,
to prove this,
there's only one thing to do.
-Writing samples.
-[scoffs]
You're going to carve
exactly what it says here.
And then afterwards we'll compare and see
whose carving resembles this the most.
So get started.
Ow!
Yes, this must be the one.
Whose writing sample is this?
It's mine.
You disappoint me.
Why do such a thing?
It's just innocent fun.
Uh-huh, so you think this
is just an innocent joke?
-Yeah, it's humor.
-Humor?
Yes.
-So you think punishment is humor too?
-Punishment for writing rune sticks?
-What happened to freedom of speech?
-Okay, it's like this:
I disapprove of what you say, but I will
defend to the death your right to say it.
Great.
I was really starting to wonder.
But in this specific case
you went too far.
Seriously?
Ow! Orm?
Hildur.
It has been proven that you are
the woman behind the rune sticks
with the following messages:
"Orm er rassr-agr."
Which means Orm is an unmanly,
-homosexual, perverted person.
-[laughing]
See you completely miss the mark.
In order for humor to be relevant,
it needs to be rooted in reality.
And this is where you so
completely and utterly fail.
I think it's quite fine you
don't find it funny,
but obviously humor is
a very subjective thing.
Hildur,
you have slandered Orm.
And to make justice come true,
I have no other option
than to let Orm
exercise his punishment his own way.
-Go on.
-What?
Orm...
Seriously?
See what you made me do?
Straight in the gut.
Now you went too far.
Way too far.
I'll get you for this!
That makes me wonder if
maybe this is where
your journey ends?
Loki!
[door closes]
[clears throat]
That was quite a trip.
I don't have any skin left on my hands.
But I got you the map.
There you are.
Map?
What map?
The map from Chieftain Olav's
funeral raft.
I had completely forgotten about that map.
I'm not sure I have any use for it now.
Was there anything else?
Nope.
Slave on.
Norheim is going to be
a cultural capital.
You know that?
That's something my brother
never achieved
and he was chieftain
for more than ten years.
Wow.
Well he kind of had other priorities.
Yes, and I've been chieftain
for two months,
and already have
an installation going up
that really inspires respect.
-About that installation.
-Yes?
Rufus wants it to look a certain way.
Yes, he's uncompromising.
But now we have run out of metal
and stuff to build it the way he wants.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, that's horrible!
How can we get our hands on more
metal and things like that, quickly?
Come on, Arvid.
Be a little solution-oriented.
What we usually do when
we need stuff, is go out raiding.
But I don't know if that's...
-Raiding?
-Yeah, is that your...
No, no, that could work.
-Really?
-Yes.
-Raiding, as in a proper raid?
-Yes, yes, that's what I mean.
Is that decided, then?
Yes. Yes, I'm chieftain.
I can decide things like this.
Yes, we're going out raiding!
We're going to pillage and rape again!
Woo-hoo!
---
Hi.
Spit in the pot, Hildur.
All who seek answers, spit in the pot.
OK. I guess I can spit a little.
You can do better than that.
No answers without a real gob.
You wish to know if your husband,
the chieftain, survives.
Yes.
[moaning]
Hi.
-How's it going here?
-Good, good.
[coughing]
You feeling OK?
As I like to say:
It's not how you're doing, it's...
-it's how you handle it.
-That's so true.
I'm sure you'll be fine.
I mean, how bad can it be?
Arvid?
Feel my heart.
No, really feel it for real.
-It's still strong, isn't it?
-Yeah. Feels fine.
Just like a heart is supposed to feel
when you grab it... directly.
Some blood there again.
But it's OK.
I'll just wash it off.
I see fire.
And...
I see... drigs and dregs.
Knecks and drops.
Does that mean
he will survive or die or...?
The gods are not ready
to receive him yet.
That's great news!
I was really worried. I mean,
He's laying down in the house
with his guts
basically hanging out
for everyone to see.
If I die, Odin forbid,
I want you to be chieftain.
Not that girly-boy Orm.
Me, as chieftain?
I don't know...
Believe in yourself, Arvid.
You have it all in you,
you just don't know it yet.
But Orm is next in line.
So wouldn't that sour the mood a little?
This is my decision.
Tomorrow I'll inform the village.
Loki!
[creaking]
No one?
Drink.
You must drink from the Prophesy Pot
if the prophesy is to come true.
How many have spit in here before me?
I mean, I'm guaranteed
to be sick if I drink that.
That's just how it works.
Seriously?
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Agreed, but,
can I ask you one question?
Do you personally see to it
that these prophesies come true?
No, I don't control the future.
The gods do.
I'm merely a messenger. Drink, come on.
If you don't have any influence,
I'd rather not drink that crap.
Because, I mean,
the result is already given.
You can't quarrel your way
out of destiny.
Drink, and the prophecy
will be fulfilled.
Everyone drinks.
Everyone has always drunk.
Yes, but to be quite honest with you,
I think it's strange that no one
has questioned this practice before.
I mean, it's not logical.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to make your job harder.
But just drinking spit
simply doesn't work for me.
OK. Look in the chest.
-The Map to the West?
-Yes.
Unfortunately it's not ours to keep.
I promised Jarl Varg that if
we found our way across the ocean
he should have the map.
This is very important, Arvid.
Varg, he's...
How should I put it?
A quite unpredictable
and hot-headed man.
We could end up with some
big problems.
Orm is here.
-Arvid.
-Orm.
So,
dear brother...
How are you really doing?
Well, I can't help but complain.
Well put.
But seriously, Orm,
I'm not in my best shape here.
I cannot even lift my arms.
Really?
That bad?
So...
If I do
this.
How does that feel?
Can you push upwards at all?
No, not a chance.
No? OK. So...
So your arms and upper body are
too weak. What about your neck?
Can you nod, or headbutt?
Headbutt?
[chuckles]
No way.
No?
-Hi.
-Hi.
How are you?
Well...
I don't know. It's...
I've been better, I suppose.
Yeah.
How about you?
How are you?
I don't know. I just feel we have to
put our faith in Thor and Odin.
At least the shaman was
really positive. So...
-Really?
-Yeah.
You know,
the crazy thing is...
If Olav won't survive,
gods forbid,
he said he wanted me
to take over as chieftain.
-He said that?
-Yeah.
I don't know. I'm probably not
the right guy for that job.
Arvid.
I think you will be
a wonderful chieftain.
Yes! You're so, you're so... kind.
And honest and warm and strong...
Really strong.
The chieftain is dead!
He's dead in there!
He's dead!
-Olav!
-Olav has departed. It's terrible.
I'm completely crushed.
-I should have been there.
-It went quickly towards the end.
The only thing I know
is that he died of natural causes.
Did he have time to tell you he wanted
me to take over as chieftain?
Yes, yes.
And his last words were that
that was just a very grotesque joke.
That was not my impression,
it was a joke.
You know what they say:
Those who take a joke just as a joke,
and seriousness seriously, they have
actually understood both poorly.
-Yeah?
-And here the seriousness was the joke.
I didn't quite catch that.
But I don't know if I can accept this
just like that.
Everyone here knows
that I am next in line.
If you have a problem with that,
then we have something
called "blood eagle"!
Seriously?
Is that how you intend to handle this?
That's exactly
how I intend to handle this, Arvid!
That is how I handle things like this!
[clears throat]
[clears throat]
Odin.
Today
you can set the great hall
in Valhalla
with your finest tableware.
Hang up your most festive curtains
and decorate with wildflowers.
In all the beautiful colors
of the rainbow.
For today Olav is arriving.
Dearest brother.
Chieftain Olav.
If you still had been among us today,
I know that you would have
given me a good, long hug
and said how much you regret
the way you have treated me.
For so many, many years.
You would probably shed a little tear too
while thinking about all the times
you didn't include me
in games as a child.
And fun and parties as an adult.
[sniffs]
But dry your tears, Olav.
For I know that you would have said
that our village is now
in the best of hands
with me as the new chieftain!
[chanting]
Push him out.
Farewell, brother!
Farewell, brother!
Why don't you just let me
do that, because I...
No, no, it's just that my
hands are very cold.
And these arrows are too slippery
for my style of shooting.
[lights arrow]
This is ridiculous!
The raft has to be set aflame
or else he won't get to Valhalla.
Yes, yes.
[lights arrow]
-Give me the bow. Give me the bow.
-No, no.
Just let Arvid do it!
I'll do it. I'll handle it.
He's my brother.
-Come on. This is really important.
-Orm!
Just one more arrow, just to be sure.
For Thor and Odin's sake,
let Arvid do it!
No, no, no, no.
It's too late. It's too late.
If Thor and Odin had wanted me to hit,
then I would have done it.
And I think it's very important
just to respect that.
[crowd boos]
Who dares boo their own chieftain?
I'm really, really disappointed.
You shouldn't boo your own chieftain.
That's just child's knowledge.
Try firing an arrow with really cold
fingers yourself before you start booing.
Have any of you
ever tried to fire an arrow
with really frozen fingers?
No, that's what I thought.
It really has a huge effect.
So, but now you've learned
something today, as well.
And there's no need to feel
down in the mouth.
Because next weekend it's funeral feast!
Welcome, welcome.
A bit late.
The funeral was yesterday.
We're not here for the funeral.
Rumor has it you went
on a raid to the West?
Yes, yes, yes. Yes, indeed.
A very successful raid.
Chieftain Olav swore that
he would draw up a map.
To show how to get there.
A map?
That's the first I've heard of it.
I think my brother would have shared
that information with me.
There's supposed to be a map
among Olav's possessions.
A map showing the route
to the West or something?
Yeah, right, that.
We sent that out with the funeral raft.
We thought we'd include some of
his most prized possessions.
And he really was a fan of that map.
-Are you serious?
-Serious as cancer.
Jarl Varg won't like this.
No, but it is what it is.
The map is gone, and that's
just very, very unfortunate.
Yeah. It's very unfortunate.
That map...
Was it very valuable?
Yeah, the map was extremely valuable.
-You can row, right?
-Yeah, I can row like a Viking.
Good.
I'm sending you on a secret mission.
-Wow.
-Yes.
You have to row out
and find Olav's funeral raft.
And you don't dare come back
before you've found that map.
No, of course.
Well, well, well.
Rufus of Rome.
I promised we would meet again.
We had that
certain
bond.
We had that special...
-Chemistry?
-No, no, that's not what I meant.
I have to say that what you mentioned
about theater and acting,
really piqued my interest.
-OK?
And I'm trying to get some
sort of cultural lift.
And I really want something like
that to happen here in Norheim.
Well, making a theater production
is very resource demanding.
Is it?
Mostly regarding human capital.
Human capital?
Yeah, I mean, creative and talented minds.
And most of all,
lots of theater experience.
Oh, yes.
That's absolutely essential.
Experience, experience...
Which I happen to have, by the way.
An overload of experience.
And talent.
Talent?
Yes, they say I am
a once-in-a-generation talent.
Wow.
So they say.
Rufus, I truly want to see with my own
eyes what you are capable of.
I want you to prepare some
highlights of your repertoire
for the feast tonight.
Can you do that?
Yes. I can do that.
Good.
"And from under the veil,
he rose and sang a song!"
"About the mother of all creation."
"For you sang the Achaeans' fate
with truth and feeling."
"All of their actions
and their suffering."
"All the efforts
they exerted..."
People!
This... this is beautiful!
These are Odysseus's words to the
skald Demodocus in The Odyssey .
It's art!
-Your first performance was incredible.
-Thank you. I'm actually an actor.
-An educated actor.
-Rufus, could I steal you for a moment?
I'm just going to pee-pee,
and then I can meet you outside.
Yes, sure.
Loki!
Have you read these rune sticks?
No, but I've seen tons of them
up by the latrine.
People are sitting there reading them
and laughing. What are they?
Rune sticks about me. And very
childish messages, I have to say.
Huh, wow.
But now that I'm chieftain,
I can finally put a stop to all this.
Shall I?
Do you need help?
Listen, I've...
You know, speaking of theater, I, I...
I was very impressed by
what you did in there.
Oh, really?
And I've been thinking
and I want to ask you:
Do you want to be
a theater man?
-A theater man?
-Yes.
Someone who knows everything
and has the big responsibility
and all that.
I wonder if you might mean...
creative director?
Yes! Yes, yes.
Absolutely.
I just didn't remember
the term, at the moment.
Is that something that maybe
is possible, that you might want to do?
I'm not sure you're fully aware
of who you're engaging.
Because I'm uncompromising
when it comes to art.
Yes, no, it's very important
to be uncompromising.
I need full creative freedom.
And I need to do things my way.
This has to be taken serious.
Yes, no, but indeed,
but I am very serious.
Then my recommendation
is to take immediate action.
To lift this town up
from this barbaric shithole
that it is now.
How do we do that?
Well, the obvious thing would be
to make an installation.
An installation? Yes.
That's a great idea. Let's do it.
What is that?
Well, it's a three-dimensional sculpture
made of objects,
often objects
from everyday life.
The important thing here
is its symbolic value.
-Yes.
-It's invaluable.
Great, great.
How do you see this?
How do you imagine it?
I have a very exciting vision.
Vision? Yes.
That's very important.
[men chattering]
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me!
What in Hel do you think you're doing?
-Isn't this a funeral party?
-Yes, sort of.
But it started some time ago.
And punctuality is a virtue.
Which is something
I've decided to start saying.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
We were just sitting around drinking.
-And had such a nice time.
-And?
You know how it is.
The pre-party's usually the best part.
When you get to the actual party,
everyone goes to their...
Arvid, Arvid, Arvid.
Hush, hush, hush.
Hush.
This is a feast
to honor your new chieftain.
Not some anecdotal get-together
about the excellence
of pre-parties contra parties.
Isn't this feast supposed to be
in memory of Olav?
Aren't we going to pour out mead
and laugh and cry and mourn and stuff?
Arvid, if I as the brother
of the deceased
have managed to move on and forget,
I think the rest of you
can do the exactly same.
And anyway, I thought this would be
a perfect occasion for certain people
to swear allegiance to their
new chieftain and show respect.
-Which certain people?
-You, Arvid.
Unless you'd rather become a niding
and be chased away from the village?
-No, of course not.
-No?
Wonderful. Lovely.
Lovely. Kiss my hand.
-Huh?
-Kiss my hand!
Kiss it.
Kneel.
See?
That wasn't so hard, was it?
You have a new chieftain
and a new regime.
And by tomorrow you will see
that things have changed around here.
Orm?
What in Loki's name, Orm?
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the rune-stick
maker himself.
-What?
-I said, well, well, well.
If it isn't the rune-stick
maker himself.
Okay.
Hildur, I pray to Thor and Odin
that you my dear sister-in-law
are not responsible for this.
I have no clue
what you're talking about.
So none of you have
been carving runesticks
with insulting
messages about me?
It wasn't me, but what does it say?
It doesn't matter what it says.
That's beside the point.
-Have you done this?
-No.
Well, I know it's one of you.
So perhaps the guilty party would like
to come forward and confess right away
so we can get this over with.
No? OK. OK!
Then I guess,
to prove this,
there's only one thing to do.
-Writing samples.
-[scoffs]
You're going to carve
exactly what it says here.
And then afterwards we'll compare and see
whose carving resembles this the most.
So get started.
Ow!
Yes, this must be the one.
Whose writing sample is this?
It's mine.
You disappoint me.
Why do such a thing?
It's just innocent fun.
Uh-huh, so you think this
is just an innocent joke?
-Yeah, it's humor.
-Humor?
Yes.
-So you think punishment is humor too?
-Punishment for writing rune sticks?
-What happened to freedom of speech?
-Okay, it's like this:
I disapprove of what you say, but I will
defend to the death your right to say it.
Great.
I was really starting to wonder.
But in this specific case
you went too far.
Seriously?
Ow! Orm?
Hildur.
It has been proven that you are
the woman behind the rune sticks
with the following messages:
"Orm er rassr-agr."
Which means Orm is an unmanly,
-homosexual, perverted person.
-[laughing]
See you completely miss the mark.
In order for humor to be relevant,
it needs to be rooted in reality.
And this is where you so
completely and utterly fail.
I think it's quite fine you
don't find it funny,
but obviously humor is
a very subjective thing.
Hildur,
you have slandered Orm.
And to make justice come true,
I have no other option
than to let Orm
exercise his punishment his own way.
-Go on.
-What?
Orm...
Seriously?
See what you made me do?
Straight in the gut.
Now you went too far.
Way too far.
I'll get you for this!
That makes me wonder if
maybe this is where
your journey ends?
Loki!
[door closes]
[clears throat]
That was quite a trip.
I don't have any skin left on my hands.
But I got you the map.
There you are.
Map?
What map?
The map from Chieftain Olav's
funeral raft.
I had completely forgotten about that map.
I'm not sure I have any use for it now.
Was there anything else?
Nope.
Slave on.
Norheim is going to be
a cultural capital.
You know that?
That's something my brother
never achieved
and he was chieftain
for more than ten years.
Wow.
Well he kind of had other priorities.
Yes, and I've been chieftain
for two months,
and already have
an installation going up
that really inspires respect.
-About that installation.
-Yes?
Rufus wants it to look a certain way.
Yes, he's uncompromising.
But now we have run out of metal
and stuff to build it the way he wants.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, that's horrible!
How can we get our hands on more
metal and things like that, quickly?
Come on, Arvid.
Be a little solution-oriented.
What we usually do when
we need stuff, is go out raiding.
But I don't know if that's...
-Raiding?
-Yeah, is that your...
No, no, that could work.
-Really?
-Yes.
-Raiding, as in a proper raid?
-Yes, yes, that's what I mean.
Is that decided, then?
Yes. Yes, I'm chieftain.
I can decide things like this.
Yes, we're going out raiding!
We're going to pillage and rape again!
Woo-hoo!