Nehama (2019): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript

We've gotta talk about Nehama.

This can't go on.

Look, I understand his pain,

but it's been a long time.
-Has it? -Yep.

To me it feels like yesterday.
-Well, it didn't happen yesterday.

I want you to call him right now

and tell him to get a grip.

So he's a widower,
I have issues, too.

Everybody does.

We're not social workers,
we're a competitive business.

Now, Arik.

You think Steve Jobs had people
come into his office and tell him

to talk to minor employees?
There were no iPhones then,

people talked through Dixie cups
and a string.

Are you the team leader?

Then TCB -
take care of business.

Come on, Arik, grow a pair.

Just look how he talks to you.

Nobody in this office
talks to you like that.

If it were Alexei, you'd fire him.

Are you scared of Nehama?

Am I scared of Nehama?

Me, scared?

That's a

"Arik Cherni scared...

Where's Ruthie from HR?
-Wait, Arik.

Get Ruthie from HR!

She'll tell him. Come here!

Ruthie! Come here.
-What is

Come in.
-What is i

Fire Nehama... -Wait!
-Right now, on WhatsApp.

Don't fire anybody, Ruthie.

Now, Ruthie. -No!
-No voice mail.

Just write: "You're fired." Boom!
-Wait, no.

Ruthie, don't. -You just said
Nehama doesn't listen to me.

Okay, but you're overreacting!

You're better than this, relax.

I just want you to call and tell him
that his widower act is over

and to start living again.
Ruthie, thanks.

QA engineer will be his new job.

I've had it with him.

Fine. -Boom!
That'll show the others.

That's how Arik Cherni works.

red... -Okay.

At age 28 I flew to Switzerland
on my own to close a deal

without speaking a word of German!
It was all done over the phone

with my aunt who speaks Yiddish!

Anything else?

Are we good?

Are we? -Okay.
-We're good?

Have a great day, Dana.
-You too.

What's up, Aviv?

Man, I tried calling the US,
but there's no signal.

The world's biggest superpower,
where's the tech? The science?

It's been a lousy 3 weeks,
I'm beat and totally paranoid.

I found out Tamar kept secrets from me.
I can't sleep or eat,

I keep thinking,
what did she hide from me?

It's killing me.
-"How's it going, Dana?"

"How was L.A., Dana?"
"I've called you only twice

"these whole 3 weeks, Dana..."
-You look good, Dana.

Nice sweater, Dana.
Hey, Alexei!

How're you doing?
-Not good.

Nehama, I was told to take
all the approvals

and licenses that you hold,
that you've become a QA engineer.

How'd you agree to that?
The great Nehama, a QA engineer?

That's 8,000 a month
before deductions.

I was shocked.

It means working
in a cubicle all day.




What the hell?!

Arik! Arik!

Come here!
-I'm on a long-distance call.


Go to the Germans,
to the Nazis!

What a bummer...

Shit. . .

This place has lost it completely.

I'm the sole provider
for 5 children,

so what if I was a

I devote my life to this office
and I always make up the hours.

He used the fact that you were away
to make unpopular decisions. -Yeah...

What do I do, Dana?
I physically need the money.

Relax, it won't happen.

Arik decided that out of his own
low self-confidence.


Kids, hurry up.
Amir, get dressed, okay?

Shir, please don't wear
Mom's shoes.

you've been crapping forever!

Come on, Johnny!

We're running

Shir, enough with the singing.

Dad... -What

You need to take Itai
to get vaccinated.

It's like a car tune-up,
I wasn't aware of it.

The clinic sent you WhatsApp messages.
-But I didn't see them

because you read them before I do.
-I told you about it.

I'll just put this here.
-What's that?

You -know-who's
cell phone bill.

Eden, you don't
run this household.

Your siblings will hate you
if you keep butting in.

What the...? !
Amir! Come here right now!

Don't yell,
the neighbors can hear you.

Screw the neighbors!

What did I say
about App Store games?

Not to play them.
-And what did you tell me?

That I don't play them.
-So why did your cell phone bill

come to 192 shekels?
-I don't know.

You have an issue with money.

Say what?!

You're a spoiled brat!

I wore used clothes as a kid.
Did you know Oren got my underwear?!

You've got some nerve!
And you...

Do you sleepwalk? Sleep-play?
-I don't know.

Was your phone stolen?
-I don't know.

So why did you get
a 192-shekel bill?

I don't know.
-Go to your room, right now!

So I'm skipping school?
-Of course not! Get in the car!

Get ready, we have to swing
by the clinic for Itai's shots

and he's also teething,
so I'll ask them about that too.

you're in so much trouble...
In the car, kids.

What's your problem?

You're in high-tech, you're loaded,
why skimp?

What did you just say?!

"Loaded"? Get in the car!

Loaded.. .

Amir, get outta the car.
-Dad, what are you doing?

Eden, when is your course?
-What course?

The commander course
that made you boss!

Dad, if you treat us badly,
welfare services will take us.

Eden, you're a kid,
not my mom or Amir's mom.

So act like a kid.
Smoke cigarettes at school

and get addicted to something
by the end of this year.

I said, get out!

Dad, there's no AC,
we're gonna die in here.



Cars didn't have ACs
when I was a kid!

We blew air on each other!

What did you tell me at home
about my job and money?

I don't know. -One more "I don't know"
and I'll slap you!

Look over there,
what do you see?

I don't know.
- Fuck!

It's Carmela Hatuka's green grocery
I told you about.

I worked here as a kid,
hauling crates and cleaning.

Grandpa Herzl brought me here
to make a man out of me.

But Dad,
we're the smart phone generation.

Screw that.
Come with me right now!

How's it going, Carmela?
-Great. Wow!

It's been so long!
-Nostalgic, huh? -Yeah.

This is my son, Carmela.

I want you to make him work
every day after school.

You can't do this to me.
-Shut up.

Work him as hard as you can,
like you did to me, he's clueless.

What's this?
-I don't know.

Dad, it'll hurt my grades. -Oh, you know
more words other than "I don't know"?

Listen to me.

I'm doing it for you, Amir,
I'll make a man out of you.

Children today
are too spoiled,

there are no real men or women,

they whine about everything,

but I won't give up on you.

I'll turn you into
an amazing, beautiful, smart human being

who can earn 192 shekels
and pay his own bills like a man.

He'll be here every day.

And this is a custard apple.

Star fruit

Let's go.

"End of year tasks"

To prepare for our graduation party
you all got tasks

which I've also emailed to you.

It's important that you take
responsibility and do your part

as best you can,
because it'll make up part of your grade.


Eden, how are you doing?

All right. -How're things at home?
-Back to normal.

You're so brave, Eden,
I admire you.

Yes, but not enough to give me
a task for the graduation party.

You're on the list

Blowing balloons
with Ilai and Shunit,

one is anti-social
and the other is autistic.

Eden, each child deserves a place
in class. We accept the other

because the other is me.
-But I'm not the other.

I'm a straight A student, I don't need
to be accepted, I won't be "the other.'

I didn't want to pressure you
during your mourning period.

That's nice, but not doing anything
is the worst for dealing with grief.

I need to be active,
ask any psychologist.

Assign me to the snack bar.

I'll add you there as well.
-I want to be in charge.

I like being in charge, Carmit.
And tell the class it didn't come from me.

I'm not a staff member
in this school.

Listen. ..
-Dan, calm down.

No, Carmit. You always
let her have her way

because her mom died.
I have issues, too.

Dan, lower your tone.
-My parents are divorced.

You only did it
because her mom died.

Dan, I understand your pain,
but accept what I said...

Mention my mom one more time

and my uncle the cop
will beat the crap out of you.

-You heard me.

Now get the juice boxes
and let's start selling.

We're raising the weakest
generation in human history.

Today's kids are the weakest ever.


I'm not going to the hotel in Berlin!

It doesn't
have Wi-Fi!

A kid tells his shrink:
"What can I tell you about my childhood?"

Nothing, you're only 6,
you little idiot!

My dad was a hero, walked around
the house wearing only his underwear

with that weird,
mysterious slit in the

"Turn left, turn right,
now pee.

By the stupid smile on your face I can tell
you wear this type of underwear, sir,

and your wife is nodding.

How gross!

And all kids today
are diagnosed

and paired up with an assistant.

You spot one with no assistant
and think, "Great!"

But she's just sick,
she'll come in tomorrow.

If I told my dad I had ADD
he'd shoot me in the knee.

He'd walk around
in his underwear, with a gun.

He shot the neighbors
when I was a kid.

How many kids do you have?

-Nice. How old?

9 and 5.
-9 and 5.

You forgot one.

Were you diagnosed, too?
-No, we have twins.

Identical twins is bad.
It's like having a spare kid.

One of them drowns, you tell the lifeguard:
"We have a spare at home, don't bother."

Twins are tough.

Actually, our third kid is the worst
a troublemaker.

Because he's a shitty kid,

God got even with you.

He said: "I'll give them twins
and then a shitty kid

to really give them hell."

Thanks, you've been great.

I'd like to present the next talent.

You've been a wonderful audience.

Wow. -Wow, great

You were the bomb.

You're gonna be a multi-millionaire,

you'll be the Pablo Escobar
of stand-up,

you'll have nowhere to stash your cash.
- Come on. . .


I liked it.

I liked it.
You had a similar insight to mine,

about the special ed. class,
but mine is different. -Yeah

but you dropped yours because it
wasn't funny, was it, Siso? So knock it off.

Nehama, I booked you the big hall
at the theater for Wednesday.

We'll film you and post
a teaser online. -Great.

You like? -Yes.

What about the printing house?
They wanted to book me.

They went for Shiomi Badan

What? -They wanted
someone more experienced.

I tried to plug you in,
but they said you're too intelligent,

that you didn't make them laugh.
They also didn't like the suit,

but they said you're great.

It'll happen for you,

it just takes persistence.

I have no time,
I'm broke, Avital.

You keep saying it'll happen for me,
but nothing ever does.

Then I'll lend you some money.

I don't take charity.
-Charity? I'm like a father to you.

Forget it, you're just like all the rest,
like your friend Asi Dvora,

who cut me loose as soon as he got a show.
-Are you kidding me?

I'm loyal, I was with
the same woman forever

and I' m loyal to her
even after her death.

Why is Asi Dvora in the audience
taking notes?

You're kidding.
-It's a free country, Badani.

Watch out for him, Nehama,
that snake laughed at your jokes.

You'll end up hearing them in his act.
-Relax. -Give me a puff.

We're influenced by others, nobody
steals material. -Bro, it's annoying.

The Russian grandma sleeping
on the sofa was my bit and he stole it!


Dvora wouldn't steal my material.
We share a history.

He knew Tamar,
he was at Amir's bris.

He drove me to the ER 3 times.

Yeah, Dvora is a true friend.

But he'd sell his own mother
for a good joke.

It's stand-up,
everybody's wacko.

Here you go.

Does anyone have an Advil?
-Why do you need an Advil?

Smoke pot, it even beats cancer.
-It's healthy.

The research is controversial.

The famous Dr. Nehama...

Amir, Shir, Jonathan!

What is it? -I lost the snack bar money.
It's not in my bag.

How much was there? -852 shekels.
Amir, I have to give it back to Carmit

I was in charge.
-Maybe it's somewhere around here.

Shir, Dad'll kill me, he'll have me work at
the green grocer's, I can't let the other kids

see me work there.
-Why not? Is it embarrassing?

What do you think?
-It's hard, but it's fun.

I don't care!

I wanna die!

Try to think who you saw
at school near your bag.

We'll go the re
and check all the kids' bags

and do house visits.

I'm crazy, I'll make them
pee in their beds.

Shir, I don't want to.
And don't tell Dad.

Did you steal it, Amir?
-Are you nuts?

Maybe you wanted
to end your debt to Dad.

You're sick of being
a greengrocer, huh?

Look me in the eye,
I know you're lying.

Shir, shut up!
You can go check my room!

I won't set foot in your pigsty!

Amir, if you did it,
just return it tonight, okay?

I won't be mad. I get it.

What is it?
-Come here.

Dvora, what's wrong?
-Nehama, I'm finished.

You're kidding.
Is it cancer?

I need you to save my career.

I'm over 40,

I have no kids, no wife,

I'm single...

A 40-year-old comic with no kids
is worthless.

I have no jokes about
childbirth, breastfeeding, ADD...

All I can talk about
nailing 22-year-olds.

And people love my act,

they do.

Nehama, I'm turning to you
as a friend, a brother.

You're the second best writer
in Israel after me,

your material is gold,
hands down.

I saw your act.

I'll give you 15,000 for the ADD bit
and the improv about the twins.

Dvora, I'm not selling.

Cash, nobody would ever know.
It's a good bit.

Dvora, it's my moment to shine
sorry, I'm not selling.

Hold on, Nehama.

No, Dvora, sorry, I'm not selling.

So now that I told you about Tamar
and how we loved each other,

but that she used an app
that deletes messages

and call logs,
what do you make of it?


She was faithful.


Faithful, for sure.



Is this a professional consultation?

I'm not paying you
while you hang out with us, you dick.

Did you have a fight
the day she died?

Yes, she drove to her mom's
and didn't make it there.

Where does her mom

On Sokolov Street in Herzliya.

Where was the accident?

On the way to Tel Aviv.

Where do you live?

In Hod HaSharon.

Doesn't it look fishy to you?

Waze took her through Tel Aviv?

Pass the joint.

What I'm about to tell you guys
doesn't leave this room.

If Michal finds out, I'm dead.

Why do you trust these people?
They're all strangers.

Didn't it look fishy to you that this PI
hangs out with you all day?

He and I are stand-up comics,
we'll use whatever you say in our acts...

Would you let your brother talk?

Enough about dead wives,

let's hear some new stories.
Go ahead.

2 months ago
we had a high school reunion.

Sadly, my wife and I
went to the same school.

Everyone showed up alone,
all glitzed up, with hair gel and thongs

I was the only one there
with the "warden"...

"Oren Nehama"

"Michal Wiezenfeld

We entered the hall
of my heyday

where I won the Hod HaSharon
Jujitsu Championship.

We went to the high school together,
but I'd met Michal at a rehab village.

I went schizo in India,
while she was born with a loose screw

dated some jerk
who used to hit her.

I forgot she went to school with me
because she was in and out of hospitals.

I spent my high school years
with one girl,

my soul mate,
the prettiest woman alive.

And then I see her
at the end of the hall

Michal Solomon,
my mythological ex,

the girl I dated
for 8 years since 10th grade,

I lost my virginity to her.

I never stopped loving her
because I never stop loving.

The slut is here.
-Is she?

It's so unlike her to show up.

And then my moment came.

She went to the bathroom
so I sprinted there.

This hall, where I broke
my nose twice,

where I lost my front tooth
which took my dad 2 years to fix,

never felt this long and scary.

I heard the toilet flush.

I had 14 seconds
to think of an unforgettable line

but Michal Solomon
is no sap.

As soon as she saw me
she said...

Hey, how are you?

-I see you're here with Michal.




nice seeing you.

"I see you're here with Michal. Cool."
It's as flirty as it gets.

My brother is the opposite of paranoid,
he thinks girls want him.

I'm with Oren on this one.

"I see you're here with Michal. Cool."
is intense.

The subtext is:
" I want you. Cool."

Now, since I'm not impotent
like my brother,

I sent her a Facebook friend request
as soon as I got home.

It took her 3 days
to accept.

Yes !

What is it, honey?

Barca purchased a new player.

We planned to meet up
for old times' sake

far away from anywhere
my wife could be.

Now, they're both named Michal. It's awesome
when your wife and mythological ex

share the same name because you
can never call her by the wrong name.

You buy necklaces with "Michal" on them
and get a great discount.

You write a romantic message
to one of them and send it to both.

What's up?

We sat down and it felt
just like back in high school,

we joked about how I was missing
a tooth all through 11th grade.

she shared personal details
about her impotent boyfriend

who doesn't believe in marriage
and that they've been trying for a baby.

It affects the intimacy.

I feel I don't want him to touch me,

I don't feel like touching him,
but I don't know how to tell him.

Nobody prepares you
for that stage.

It makes me feel like
a bitch from hell.

He's scared of me now.
I miss the days...

when he used to yell at me
when I got mad at him.

I remember how I yelled at you
when we were dating.

Because you were
a childish asshole.

I grew up, underwent
a long psychological process

and it went away,
but now I'm childish again.

It took me years to forgive you.

Michal, when I was in rehab, it was
a different world which you weren't part of.

You fell in love with her, it's okay.

Remember when you once said that if
I ever try for a baby, I should call you? -Y

I say that to all the girls.

Then a few days later,
when my wife Michal was out

I texted the other Michal:
"Are you up?"

I saw she was typing but not sending.
Delibe rating.

So I wrote:
"You only live once

and added: "It's a mistake
don't do stupid things."

But she showed up.

That proved one thing to me:

If Michal Solomon cheated,
it could happen to anyone.

She was the most faithful girl
in the world.

She was the epitome
of lifelong monogamy.

And if she changed,
then anyone can.

Even Tamar.

Has anyone seen Mom's laptop?
What's with this mess?!

Eden, have you seen it? -No, Dad.
Have you seen a green bag?

Dad, stay out of my room.

It's my house, my right, got it?

Have you seen Mom's laptop?
I need it. -No.

It's not here?
-No, don't you believe me?

It's very important, I need it.

Dad, I can't babysit Itai tomorrow,
I have rehearsal.

Is that so? You'll babysit him
because I took back my stinking job

so I can send you to a private school.
I was demoted to QA engineer which pays

a third of what I made, you parasites.
-You have no idea what's going on.

Do you know where Amir is?
-Why, what's up with Amir?

Amir, what did you do?

I asked Carmela to work 3 extra hours
to make more money,

and I paid my debt to you
so can I keep the money?

Sure, pal, if you earned it,
you keep it.

Have you seen Mom's laptop?

Eve ryone,
help me find Mom's laptop.

Turn off the AC and the boiler
it's wasting electricity,

and help me find the laptop,
it's urgent.

Go to your room and to the basement
and look for it.

Here it is.
I sleep with it.

Why didn't you tell me, sweetie?

So you wouldn't make me
work for Carmela.

I'd never do that, you're too young.

Does it work? -Yes, but I couldn't get in
it's got a password.

I'll give it back to you,
I need it for some adult issue.

You didn't sleep on it, right?


Keep it down,
don't wake up Itai,

and make sure the door is locked
so nobody breaks in.

I'm here if you need me.

Oren spoke with me,
said I shouldn't help you,

that Tamar's death traumatized you
and drove you cuckoo.

On the other hand,
is Oren normal? -Nope.

Look, I've tried every phone number we had
every nickname,

every password we used
for the bank, the intercom, the car,

and nothing works.
-It's locked somehow.


Kube, you've gotta find out
if she had a secret email

and who she was
corresponding with.


Okay, we're in.
-You're kidding.

I'm a genius.

She has a Gmail account...


She deleted everything.

Did a thorough cleanup.

Compulsive cleaner, huh?

There's a draft written
to some Benny Edry.

Benny Edry, 1972.

You know any Benny Edry?


What did she write?

"I'm going to tell Guy.

How do I find this Benny Edry?

Let me check.

Well, there are
672 Benny Edrys in Israel, but...

Nehama, I'm out.

I think it's immoral for you
to look him up.


Move on, she's dead.

You wanna end up
like one of those poor saps

who take their wife's Waze

and drive to everywhere she's driven,

looking for ghosts?
You wanna be like them?

In 200 meters, turn right.

At the roundabout, continue straight.

"Out-patient clinics -
Dr. Benny Edry - Urologist"

Hello? -Oren?

I figured out how to find
where Tamar was the night she died.

I wish you an awful skin disease
with black lesions behind your ear...

Very funny. Listen.
She had no sense of direction

she used Waze
everywhere she drove.

What time is it, you bastard?
-Who cares?

There's a Benny Edry working
at the Aminadav commercial center.

She had a lover and I caught him.
-That' s nonsense . . .

Go home, Guy,
take care of your kids.

Eden was here today,
she borrowed 850 shekels from Michal

to pay some debt to school.
She's addicted to something, talk to her.

Get real. Eden's only addiction
is running the dishwasher

and checking my bank account app.
Go take care of your wife,

it sounds like she's off her meds...
I've had it with you.

Dr. Benny Edry

Benny Edry?

Yes, and you are. . . ?

I'm Guy Nehama.

Do you have an appointment?

Guy Nehama! Come in,
we were just wrapping up.

So, Menashe,
call or text me anytime

and let me know
how you're feeling.

Take care, buddy.

Come in, Guy,
did we have an appointment?

Should I have made one?
-Of course not, I'm glad to meet you.

How's Tamar?

I've been telling her
to talk to you.

You have an amazing wife, Guy.

How is she coping?

How is she coping? You bastard!
-Guy, what...?

You bang my wife
and ask how she's coping?!


What's wrong with you?!

Are you insane?!

How dare you hit a doctor?!

You're hitting me because your wife
has terminal cancer?

I'm a doctor, a saint,
and you hit me?!

What's with you, Guy?!

Guy, you can't
assault people like that.

With cancer, you never know
the life expectancy,

and Tamar
didn't start treatment on time.

What was the cause of death?

I guess, pulmonary embolism
from the tumor, right?

What tumor?

She was killed in a car accident
on the way here.

Was she driving on sedatives?

With all due respect
to your situation and Tamar

I'll have to report your assault.

And I don't mean to threaten
but in cases like these

you could end up being expelled
from the HMO.

I won't recommend it, but you
should know it could result in that.


You're late.
-You're kidding, she sang already? Fuck.

No, in 10 minutes.
-So I'm on time.

No, because you said
you'd be here 20 minutes ago

and she doesn't know
you're here.

Arik the dick held me up
to solve a problem for "Chemical Berlin

a German gas company.
Think what your late grandma would say.

Why weren't you here
for your daughter?

Why so edgy? Did the kids drive you mad?
-No, it's because loyalty to your family

is in the little things,
like this one.

Go cheat with another woman,
but stop cheating on your kids.

Tamar, why so harsh? -Because
these moments never come back.

But I'm here. -Oh no..
-Why are you out in the

Tamar, let's go inside.

Whoa, what's wrong?

Ouch. . .

Are you okay?

What an extreme reaction
to me being a bit late...

I've been nauseous all day.

Think it's bacterial? Viral?

You afraid of my germs?
-I love your germs.

I want to wallow in them.
-Just give me a hug.

I'm here...

Let's go before we miss it.

You've been sick a lot lately,
have you noticed?

Relax, I won't take your spot
as the sickly family member.

Good, we don't want
to confuse the kids.

Sorry, sorry...

Go, Shir!

Is the song getting you emotional?
Are you thinking about me?

She's got my stage presence.

Eden, why are you still here?

Carmit, I went over the numbers.

I'm short on cash.

It was stolen.

It's someone from class
I know how to get him.

Kids, empty out
your lockers completely.

What happened here
is very serious!

You should be thankful
I didn't call the cops.

Hey, there's the money!

Excuse me.

Dan? -Carmit, -Dan... I didn't take it.
-Ca rmit...

Dan, come with me right now.
-But... -Now!

Hey, sweetie.

How's it going?

So? -So...

I couldn't get Arik
to give you back your old job,

not yet.

I'm not surprised. He must've read
that Steve Jobs never rehired anyone

so he's doing the same.
Mo non.

It's not with a T.
"Rehire" doesn't start with a T.

But I managed to get you a raise.

Just don't tell the other QA engineers,
so they don't make a fuss.

I did notice I got 4,000 shekels more
this month,

and I didn't know where it came from.
-From my budget, I'm in charge,

so I made him do it.

I checked in the workers' salaries file
in the computer,

but there was
no mention of it there either.

I'll look into it.

But why are you bummed out?
You just got a 4,000 shekel raise,

be happy, smile.

Don't ask, I found out things
about Tamar,

she hid from me
that she was sick.

Yes, I know.

You knew Tamar had...?

Yes, she told me,
stage 4 cancer.

She told you and not me?

She knew you'd have
a hard time handling it,

she was waiting for the right moment.

But why did she tell you?

She knew I care about you.

Enough for you to give me 4,000 shekels
from your own salary?

i's not my salary, it's my budget,
which I run.

So you did it out of pity?
Giving me charity?

You're doing it as a favor?
-What charity?

I don't want that money.

I'll pay you back a few hundred
every day. I don't want charity.

What else do you know about my family
that you're not telling me?

I want you to take the money...

That's weird.

I think it needs a bit more sugar.

Want some?

Dad, Carmela and I are driving tomorrow
at 5 am to the wholesale market

to haul crates,
she's paying me double.

She said I have a knack for it.
I decided to be a greengrocer.

Forget about being a greengrocer
don't be an idiot.

But I finally feel like a man.

Dad, you're supposed to tell us
we can be anything we want.

Anything but greengrocers,
insurance agents

and corpse shavers.
I'm telling you the truth.

It's disgusting, don't be crazy.

Did you know about Mom?
-What? -Never mind.


Shir told me someone at school stole
your money which was miraculously found.


You know how you draw hearts
on everything?


So how do you explain this?

Why were all these hearts
in my wallet?


Why did you steal the mone

I don't know.

Edna, why did you steal the money?
-I don't know.

What a sick family...

I don't get it.
-What's there to get?

Amir isn't the only thief in our family,
Eden is too.

Shir, shut up.
-Yeah, shut up.

Let's get back to your criminal mind:

You steal 850 shekels
from the school's snack bar

go to Uncle Oren's,
find Aunt Michal who's alone at home

and mentally ill, weasel 850 shekels
from her, saying you owe it to school

and then frame Gad Hameiri Amsalem
from you r class .

Dan Amzaleg Lewinsky.
-Same thing, okay?

Why'd you do it?

Where else will we get money, Dad?

That's not something a child your age
should worry about. -Yeah, but where?

Dad, where?

You're not taking care

Mom used to take care
of these things.

I'm not the worst dad
you could've had,

and it's true, sometimes you need to steal.
-Are you for real? -Yes.

It says so in Ecclesiastes:
"A time to kill, a time to steal."

But there's nothing worse
than lies within the family

keeping secrets bottled up.

You're a lot like your mom.

And not saying what's bothering you
is a weakness.

You know what growing up
really means?

Learning to love
your weaknesses.

What's my weakness?

That you can't accept the fact
that you don't control your life,

that you don't know
what'll happen next.

That's the beauty in life,
it's a good thing.

And stealing a heap of cash
won't solve it, it won't change it.

Mom didn't control h

It's all down to fate.

Should I return it?

That would be dumb.

I'll put it in a savings account for you
until you're older.


But it's the last time
you steal money.

In a few days you'll feel
your pride pinching at you.

You'll want your bit back,

but you don't really need it,
I need it more.

Remember, no regrets.

Don't open it,
I don't want anyone to know I'm here.

Gimme a break, Dvora.

Where've you been?
Why don't you get back to me?

When I write that it's urgent,
it's urgent.

I see two blue checks on WhatsApp
and you don't write me back.

How're you doing, Dvora?
-Fine, and you? -Good.

See you.
- Bye.

It'll work,
remember my exact wording.

What was he doing here?

I sold him my bit.

25,000 shekels cash.

Why? It was supposed to be
your breakthrough bit.

We were gonna film
so it goes viral.

Oren, no comic relies on one bit
I'll write a thousand like it.

I had no choice.

Michal is pregnant.

Cong ratulations,
I didn't know you were trying.

Not Michal my wife,
the other one, Michal Solomon.

Look, she posted
this photo on Instagram

and wrote:
"Expecting, 2nd trimester."

Guy, it fits the timing perfectly.
I guess I got one past the goalie.


What if that's my flesh and blood in there?
-What do you care?

You had your fun,
let someone else deal with the mess.

You're so stupid sometimes, Guy.

Don't you get it? If
it's mine, I'm in trouble.

If it's my flesh and blood, I wanna know.
-No, you don't.

Don't investigate,
don't send Kube.

We ’ re back.
So, we were just as appalled

as everyone else who's seen
Asi Dvora's new comedy bit

that's been posted online.

This generation is so weak,

and every kid is diagnosed
these days.

If I told my dad I have ADD,

he'd take his gun and shoot me.

What's your name?
-Nevel. -Nevel?

Got kids, Nevel?

Twins is bad,
you have a spare kid.

"Asi Dvora starts an outrage
on social media" -

You got a shitty kid, Nevel,
God is getting even with you.

If he turns out gay,
you're twice as screwed.

The petition against the bit and Dvora
himself has gained momentum,

with thousands of petitioners...
-How'd you write him such a bad bit?

You think I'd let that idiot beat me? -Asi i
here to try to defend himself. -It's showbiz

I stuck the umbrella up his ass...
And opened it at once. -I'm not homophobic,

some of my best friends are gay
it's all in good humor.

"My best friends"
sounds overstated, but never mind.

Guy, I want everyone to know...
-What about the fact

that people say this woman
is an insider?

Nonsense, Guy,
I don't have insiders in my act.

Be serious.
-I'm totally serious.

She's here with us
and wants to confess.

Really? You got hold of her?
-No, fooled you.

We really are a sick family.

A sick family.

Thank you for being here.
-I just want to stress

that I do have friends who are gay
redheads, Arabs, blacks,

I'm not...

Thank you, Guy.
-Thank you.