Nathan for You (2013–…): Season 3, Episode 3 - The Movement - full transcript

Nathan tries to get laborers to work for free at a moving company.

- My name is Nathan Fielder,

and I graduated from one of
Canada's top business schools

with really good grades.

Now I'm using my knowledge

to help struggling
small business owners

make it in this
competitive world.

This is Nathan For You.

If you need to move
to a different house,

you might call City of Angels,

an up-and-coming
moving company

that serves the L.A. area.

But lately,
owner David Sassounian

has been finding it hard
to stay profitable

with the rising cost
of labor in his industry.

- For us, our most expensive
cost is our employees, for sure.

- But after spending some time
watching David's movers,

I realized there might be
a simple solution

to all of his problems.

So I paid him a visit
to see if I could help.

Your movers are very in shape.

- Our guys are in shape, yeah.

- I mean, lifting
all those boxes and furniture.

That's a great way to get fit.

- Yeah, the guys are getting
a great workout.

They're always getting
a great workout.

- And that's the idea.

You see, the average
gym member in America

spends over $700 a year
to perform physical labor

that's very similar to the work

that David's employees do.

So if we can make
a convincing argument

that moving boxes and furniture

is a better workout
that going to the gym,

David could tap into
an endless supply of labor

that would actually pay him

for the opportunity
to move stuff.

- People don't usually
pay to work...

for somebody else.

- I think you'll get
a lot more people

if they just think
it's a workout,

and we don't tell them

that they're actually
doing free labor.

I mean, that's just my opinion

as someone who knows
a lot about marketing.

- I don't know.

I don't know
if I can convince people

to do that.

- David was skeptical

but agreed to give me a chance

to prove that this would work.

Launching a fitness craze,

would be no easy task.

I didn't know much
about this stuff,

but it seemed like
every popular workout

was based on
a charismatic figure

who's a living example
of what the workout can do.

I know I'm charismatic,

and since the workout
was my idea anyways,

I thought it would be easiest
if I just did it.

But after reviewing
the promotional images I took,

I realized I just
didn't have the body

to be a convincing
fitness authority.

So I sent my producers
to a local fitness convention,

and they found
a professional bodybuilder

who seemed interested
in being a spokesperson.

So later that week,
I brought him to my office

to see if he could impress me
enough to get the job.

- I'm older, but watch me.

Look at me.

I can outperform you.

I can... you know, I look
just as good as you do.

I see this as an opportunity
really for me to teach.

- Jack said
all the right things,

but what I really cared about
was his body.

- Yeah, you've got...

seems like you've got
a good bod.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Jack got the job.

And because his role as
spokesman would be so crucial,

I prepared an extensive
contract for him to sign.

In the event of your death,

we have the rights
to your name, likeness.

- Sure, sure.

- DNA as well.
- Okay.

- Is that...
are you comfortable with that?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.

- That's fine.

- With Jack on board,

I walked him through my concept

for a new workout called
The Movement

that would consist entirely
of moving boxes and furniture

from one location to another.

My plan was to position Jack

as the guru behind this workout

in the hopes
I could convince people

he got his amazing physique

solely from lifting
household items.

Let's see some attitude.


And to really sell this idea,

I hired an obese look-alike

to pose as Jack
before he lost the weight.

Now that The Movement
had its figurehead,

I wanted to legitimize Jack
with his own book.

So to get the job done quickly,

I contacted a ghostwriter
who advertised his services

on Craigslist
and invited him to my office

to see if he was right
for the task.

- What I'm looking for
is someone who knows

a lot about fitness.

- Okay.
- Is that you?

- Yes.

- You know, for my own
due diligence,

I need to know
you're a good writer

before hiring you, obviously.

- Yeah.

- So can you come up with
an original sentence right now

and tell it to me?

- Um...


Um, the candles flickered,
the sheets were still,

but all the energy in the room
surrounded Roman and Kenzie.

Kenzie stepped forth and...

gently touched Roman's arm.

He suddenly felt weak in
his legs and trembled and fell

as if his Achilles heel
had been struck by a blade,

but all it was
was simply a woman's touch.

- Wow.

That was a good sentence.

- Thank you.

- Obviously this book
would be more fitness, but...

- Yeah.

- Austin seemed like a pretty
good fit for the project,

so I gave him as much
information as I could

about the workout
and its founder, Jack.

- What did he do
when he was younger?

- As a child?
- Yeah.

- Some things I don't know,

and you're just gonna have
to fill in the blanks yourself.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- All right then.

- With Austin off
to write the book,

I had a cover designed,
highlighting the fact

that Jack got his body

only from moving
boxes and furniture

and that he'd never been
to a gym in his life.

The problem was, in reality,

Jack goes to the gym

- I'm in the gym
six to seven days a week.

- With The Movement
about to go public,

I couldn't risk Jack
being seen at a gym,

or else we'd be exposed
as a fraud.

So I set up a private
workout space

so he could maintain
his body in secret.

So you think this will work
to maintain those muscles?

- If this is, you know,
what I have to do,

uh, I can...
I'll make it work.

- All right, well,
you gonna have a workout or...

- Sure.

- All right, uh...

Have fun.

I felt confident moving forward

now that our secret was safe,

and I was thankful
that Jack was so committed

to The Movement.

And a couple days later,

Austin returned
with the completed book.

Steve Jobs?

- Yeah.

I was one of his
childhood friends.

- Oh, okay.

Austin had taken a few liberties

with Jack's life story,

but for my purposes
it would work.

So I rushed published
a bunch of copies

and mailed them to media
outlets throughout the state

in the hopes
I'd get some interest.

And as luck would have it,

we soon got the big break
we needed.

- So I have some exciting news.
- Okay.

- One of the most popular
morning news shows in the state

wants you to talk about
The Movement

live on air tomorrow morning.

- Oh. Okay.


- How do you feel?

- I felt, uh...

I felt like a...
I felt a rush go right by me.

I mean, that is phenomenal.

- Just so you know too.

I gave them this book...
- Okay.

- That I had ghostwritten
about your life.

- Mm-kay.

- Obviously the author
didn't know anything about you.

- Right.

- So he kinda made
some stuff up.

- Okay.

- It seems like a big part of it

is how you were childhood
friends with Steve Jobs.

So... do you know Steve Jobs?

- Steve Jobs, yes.

Uh, he... he's
the Microsoft...

- Apple.
- Apple, right.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- So anyways, yeah,
you might want to read it over

to get a sense of what your
life is like before tomorrow.

- Okay, okay.

- In the later chapters,
it actually says

you spend a lot of time

with jungle children.

I don't know what that is, but
you might want to bring it up,

because audiences love someone

who gives back
and is charitable.

- Okay, I'll be able to...

I'll tell them, you know,
what they wanna hear.

You're watching

San Diego 6 News
In the Morning.

- Welcome back.

We are in spring, but we're
always looking ahead to summer.

And if you're looking
to lose a couple of pounds,

we have a free way to do it

with things that are already
in your home,

and we have proof that it works.

- We're gonna
introduce you to someone.

Come in here and look
at this before picture.

This is Jack Garbarino before...

This was Jack
about a hundred pounds ago.

Now let's have you
the grand reveal.

- The big reveal.

- This is Jack now.
- Hello.

- How great do you
look now, Jack?

- I look great, I feel great.

I feel a renewed person.

I'm lean and mean,
and I'm a fighting machine.

The news appearance
couldn't have gone better.

And over the next couple weeks,

Jack made appearances
on morning shows

throughout the region.

- Our next guest lost more
than one hundred pounds

and never stepped foot in a gym.

- Can you lose a hundred pounds

just by moving boxes
and furniture?

One guy says it's possible.

- Look at this man,
he lost over a hundred pounds,

and now he's sharing his
fitness tips with all of us.

- Jack...
- Good to be here.

- You're a story of inspiration.

- Yes, um...
Yeah, that was me.

I mean, you can see
that I was a fat tub of lard.

And, uh...

- 'Cause you can say it.
I can't.

- And you also
came across Steve Jobs.

- Yes.
- How did you meet him?

- Well, I grew up with him
as a child.

- No kidding.

- He was my best friend
as a child.

- Were you able to keep
that friendship with Steve Jobs

so he could see what you were
motivated to eventually become?

- You know, he never saw me
really at this fit.

We kept in touch, but...

That's it, simple as this.

I do work, charity work...

- Okay.

- With jungle children.

- Jungle child is what?

Yeah, jungle children
are children

that live in the jungle.

A while ago I was working
with a jungle child.

His name was Dendy.

He was a great
inspiration for me.

And unfortunately,
tragically he died

when baboons kidnapped
and ate him.

It was actually
one of the worst days

of my life.

- Where is this?

Jack turned out to be

an extremely compelling

and he was really hitting
our message home.

- In my opinion, gym stands for
"giving your money away."

Never been to a gym in my life.

Never stepped foot in the gym
in my entire life.

I got this body by simply
just moving boxes and furniture.

If I could do it,
anybody else could do it.

Sign up and you can see
what we're doing

to help people
around the country.

- Good work.
You look amazing.

- Thank you very much.
- Yeah.

- And before long,

the movement inbox
was flooded with requests

from people wanting
to try the workout.

So I returned to City of Angels

and convinced David
to let us do our first workout

on one of his upcoming
moving jobs.

With an opportunity
to finally prove my concept,

I was excited,

but that's when I made
a troubling discovery.

When I stopped by
the storage unit,

I noticed that none of
the water we had left for Jack

had been touched.

At first, I thought he might
just be bringing his own water,

but when I had the clerk
check the gate access records,

I realized he might
not have been going

to his private gym at all.

- I don't see any...

any report that shows
it was accessed.

- This wasn't good.

I have major trust issues

stemming from
a non-sexual incident

that happened
when I was a child,

so I didn't know
if I was just being paranoid.

But if Jack was still
going to his old gym

after saying otherwise
to an audience of millions,

the credibility
of our entire workout

would be shattered.

- Never stepped foot in a gym
in my entire life.

I couldn't risk
letting this guy

destroy everything
I had created,

so I paid a visit
to a private investigator

I'd worked with in the past

to help me find out if Jack
was honoring our agreement.

I want you to help me
keep tabs on a fitness model

that I'm working with.

- Okay.
Male or female?

- Male.
- Male, okay.

- I wanted to stay on task,

but the conversation
got sidetracked

as Brian started bragging
that he too was a model,

who had appeared
in a couple of magazines

in the '80s.

- And then all of a sudden,

it just went from that magazine
to that magazine and...

- What magazine?
- It was "Penthouse Magazine."

- Oh, "Penthouse," sorry.
- Yeah, years ago.

Years, years, years ago.

- "Penthouse" is porn.
- It's not.

Only time is when
he's taking photos of you.

You know, you're with
a gorgeous woman.

- So you're fully nude in it?

- Nah, can't really see much.

- But you're penetrating?

- Penetrating, you can't see.

- That's porn, right?
- No, it's not.

Not even close
to being porn, no.

All it is, is just
being a male model

and taking photographs of you
with another woman,

very tasteful,
very professional, nothing.

- But your...
your penis was erect.

- Yeah, of course it was.

When you got
a nice-looking girl...

- And you're naked.
- And you're naked, yeah.

- But what do you call that?

- What do you mean,
what do you call that?

- That type of modeling.

- Um... entertainment.

You know, adult
entertainment modeling.

- Okay.

Once Brian was
finished bragging,

I filled him in
on my suspicions about Jack.

He says he works out
every day, so if he's going...

- Obviously he has to work out
to get that kind of body.

- Brian agreed that
something wasn't adding up

and recommending
a covert surveillance.

So early the next morning,

he picked me up
in a Best Buy parking lot.

- Let's do it.

- And we headed
to the neighborhood

where Jack lives,

parking just down the street
from his home.

- We just sit here and wait.

That's what we do.

- After two hours of waiting,

Jack still hadn't emerged,

but I was determined
to stick this out

as long as it takes.

That's a woman.

- Yep.

It's not porn.

- "Penthouse"?
- No, it's not porn.

- I think it is porn.

- Porn is when you're having
intercourse or fellatio,

one of the two.

- But you were with a woman.

- Yes.

- And so that means
you did porn.

- No penetration.

I just wish I waited
a little bit longer

till the kids
got a little bit older.

- Why?

- 'Cause divorce is...

'cause the kids were young
and they were...

One was out of high school
and going to college,

and the other two
were in high school.

I just wish that the little one

was out of high school.

Some people, you know,
don't want to wait it out,

'cause they figure, you know,

they're wasting five years
of their own life.

"I need to get out."

We do too much for our children.

- After five hours of waiting,

I was about ready to give up,

but then Jack finally emerged.

That's him.

Let's go.

Put your glasses on.

Okay, let's do it.

We're on a code five right now.

It's called a code five,
mobile surveillance.

There he is.
- Right turn.

- I see him.
Good job.

Lone Hill Ave.

After making
a quick stop at a drug store,

I was hopeful he would
just be heading back home,

but unfortunately, Jack
had something else in mind.

- This is where he's going.
- Wait, wait, wait.

Crunch Fitness.

This wasn't good.

Clearly Jack wasn't taking
our business arrangement

as seriously as I had hoped.

- The guy lied to you.

He has no respect for you.


I was shocked
to discover

that Jack had been going
to his regular gym

behind my back.

This had to be dealt with quick.

So the next day, I had him
meet me at the storage locker

to confront him about
what I saw.

So, uh, how's our secret gym
been working out for you?

- It's working out okay, yeah.

It gets a little hot in there.

Gotta get the workout
and come out...

you know, come out
nice and drenched.

- Mm-hmm.

Look, Jack, I know
you haven't been coming here.

I know you're still going
to your regular gym.

- Mm-hmm, mm-kay.

- Is that true?

- Yes.

- With his back
against the wall,

Jack admitted that the storage
unit didn't work for him.

- I... I can't get
a good full workout

in this... this gym.

- Fortunately,
I had come prepared

with a compromise that would
allow him to work out

at any gym he wanted.

The way I see it, the only way
you can go to your gym

is in disguise.
- Okay.

- So do you think this is
something that can work for you?

- Yes, I'll...

I can put it to work.

- Everybody was happy.

And after telling Jack that
I'd be secretly watching him

for the next six months,

I could now be confident
that he'd stick with the plan,

and our secret would be safe.

- Thank you.

- With Jack back in line,

I reached out to our list
of eager Movement participants

and booked three of them
for what I described

as a free workout intensive.

But in reality,
these people were showing up

for the real moving job
I had scheduled with David.

Hey, everyone.

So I'm gonna start by asking
y'all a question.

Are you guy ready
to change your life

with The Movement workout?

- Yeah.

- And what better way
to pump them up

than with an inspirational
speech from Jack?

- I lost over a hundred pounds

just by moving
boxes and furniture.

If I could do it,
you could do it.

Now let's get started
and let's start moving.

- Great.

- That was good, that was good.

- Thank you, Jack.
- Thank you, thank you.

- You're truly
an inspiration to us all.

- Pleasure, thank you.

- All right.

Now that Jack had inspired
and energized the group,

I handed each of them their
matching team workout wear

and headed to the client's home

to have him fill out
the necessary paperwork.

Now it was finally time
to see if these three strangers

would complete
an entire moving job for free.

What you'll be getting today
is a full-body workout.

So in this house, I've prepared
a bunch of furniture and boxes

for you to move into this truck.

Got it?

- Are we timed on this?

Is there a certain
time limitation?

- The goal is to move
as fast as you can,

because we want
a cardio workout too.

- Mm, okay.

- And with that, they began.

- Whoa, there's a lot of stuff.

- Nice.

- To be honest,

I had my doubts going into this,

but not only were they

efficiently moving
the client's stuff,

to my surprise,
the group actually seemed

to be enjoying their workout.

- I mean, I've helped
friends move before,

but I never thought of it
as a workout.

- So if you go like this,
you'll get a bicep workout

if you do curls.
- Right, right.

- Do you feel that here?

- Yeah, I do.
- Yeah.

It became clear

they had all
bought into the dream

that Jack was selling.

And after only 2 1/2 hours,

the truck was all loaded up.

It was a bit of
a challenge to explain

why we needed to go to
a second house to unload.

We're halfway there,

but this next part
is the most crucial part

because your muscles
are training during exhaustion.

But it seemed like
their faith in Jack's workout

gave them the will
to keep going.

There she goes.

It took five full hours
to complete the move,

but these people did it
without ever thinking

it was actual labor.

And with everything
unloaded from the truck,

I congratulated my team on
finishing their first workout

and sent them off.

The moving job
was complete,

and even though the homeowner
had a few minor complaints...

- The way they handled
the boxes and stuff,

I said,
they're not professional.

- Well, I appreciate
that feedback.

I think that's really smart.

He eventually agreed
to sign off on the job.

- I'm not trying
to give you a hard time.

- No, it's okay.

Everyone has a different

And that meant my concept
was a success.

So the next day,
I returned to David

to introduce him
to the only employee

he'll ever need.

This is Jack Garbarino.

- Hey, Jack. I'm David.
- Hi, pleasure to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- And it's his hard work
and dedication

that really made
this workout happen.

- Okay.

- So anytime you need
new movers...

- Okay.

- Jack can go on the news,

lie to everyone in America,

and you'll get
a fresh batch of people

ready to move houses for free.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

- Thanks.
Yeah, ready to roll.

- All right, well,
I'll leave you two

to take it from here.

- Thank you.

- All right.

- Yeah, so, um,
you're my new boss.

So my job is to be
out there to promote.

I can do news broadcasts
and be out in the public.

I can do, you know,
seminars or, uh...

You know, I know Steve Jobs.

He, you know, he passed away,

founder of Apple.

- I was happy that David
now had the free labor

he'd always wanted.

And knowing that Jack
was holding up

his end of the bargain,

I could be sure
that The Movement's future

was secure.

But there was still
one more thing

that I had to take care of.

I just pulled up the dictionary
definition of pornography.

"Printed or visual material

"containing the explicit
description or display

of sexual organs
or activity."

- You just Googled this, right?

- Yeah, that's
the dictionary definition.

- "Printed or visual..."

Okay, it was printed, for sure.

No wonder why my parents
were [bleep] so mad at me.


- "I have never been
to a gym in my life."

- I have never been
to a gym before.

- "Never in my life."

- Never in my life.

- "I haven't even
walked in the door

to look around."

- I haven't even walked
in the door to look around.