Murphy Brown (1988–2018): Season 1, Episode 7 - Set Me Free - full transcript
Murphy's having a rotten day, complicated by a gunman who interrupts the show and demands they read his statement on the air and it gets capped off by the painter she hired to do her kitchen sticking around to finish "extending myself." During this whole ordeal, she is craving cigarettes and a drink, and definitely a soft number 2 pencil.
Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
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Muvph. Muvph! What are you doing?
Sure. Call attention to it.
Give me that.
- What the hell is going on with you?
- There's nothing going on with me.
It's an ugly lamp.
Muvph. you've been doing so great lately.
You're not gonna blow it now. ave you?
I know. I've been doing great.
but then today happened.
This has been a very strange day. Flank.
- Very strange.
- Come on. talk to me.
I've been out ot Betty Ford tor a month.
right? And it's been going okay.
Territic. as a matter ot tact.
I don't know. though. Today-
Today is ditferent.
I don't know why. but I've got this strong
urge to walk across the street to Phil's...
...order a Scotch and soda.
smoke an entire carton ot cigarettes...
...and listen to Little Peggy March sing
‘‘I Will Follow Him.“
Hang on. Murph. You don't wanna
slip back to the old you. do you?
Remember two months ago.
the Mother Teresa interview?
I was so hard on the woman.
I've just gotta get through this day.
- Hi. everybody.
- Hi. Corky.
I just had the most wondertul walk through
the leaves ot the Jetferson Memorial.
The sun was retlecting on the Potomac...
...and all the little squirrels
were chirping and playing...
...and gathering their nuts
tor the winter.
Isn't it just the most pertect day
you could ever imagine?
I ran over a squirrel on
my way to work this morning.
Oh. God.
I'll be in my oftice.
Murph. listen to me. You are not alone.
You've got triends here to help you.
- Who needs help?
- Murphy.
What's the problem. slugger?
I wanna smoke and drink a lot.
- Don't do it.
- Okay.
There you go. See you on the set.
Maybe it I just keep my mind
on my work. it'll be okay.
- Right.
- It I can just make it to the broadcast.
- I really love the broadcast. Frank.
- I know.
I love my desk and all the cameras.
- I love my chair.
- I know.
My favorite part is when that guy comes...
...and puts those little microphones
on our lapels.
- You teel better now?
- Oh. yeah.
Bad news. guys.
The show's been canceled.
Only kidding!
That's the second time
she's tried to kill me today.
I'm sorry I thought Smokey Robinson
was a torest ranger.
I apologize. Miles.
I've just been a little on edge lately.
I guess so. Your secretary is making
a pifiata with your lace on it.
Listen. Murph. I've gotta finish my copy
tor tonight's show.
Just remember what I said. okay?
One hour at a time.
Okay. Thanks.
So I have good news.
- Diane Sawyer's missing?
- Better.
Since I've been an executive producer
ot this show. we've gone up...
...one lull rating point.
Must have been the piece on
"Nuns After Dark" that did it.
You know. Murphy. there are some things
you don't know about me yet.
You're my boss. and you're
the same age as Amy Carter.
You don't know that underneath
this tough tacade...
...there's a very insecure human being.
I really wanna keep my job.
So it's important I do what I can
to keep the viewership growing.
Make your point. Miles.
I thought your piece on prison conditions
was a little downbeat.
How about a visit to the bra museum
at Frederick's ot Hollywood?
I love it. I got you again.
We will have a good relationship.
Going live. people.
In five. tour. three...
Good evening. and welcome to FYI.
For your intormation tonight. Frank Fontana
takes us on a territying journey...
...through our country's busiest airport
as he asks. "How Sate Are Our Skies?"
Corky Sherwood shows us the far-reaching
eftects ot a corporate miscalculation:
"Ha|ston: Why the Dream Died."
First. Murphy Brown takes us to a place
many ot us have never seen betore:
The inner recesses
ot a nuclear power plant.
That's right. Jim. Last week I visited
the Coral Canyon nuclear power tacility...
...and what I found may shock you.
It began with the plant manager...
...who-
It began with the plant manager. who...
...took us on a tour of a facility that-
On|y- Hi.
Hi.
Would you mind stepping away from
our cameras. sir? This is a live broadcast.
I will in a minute. As soon as you read
this statement on the air.
I'm terribly sorry. sir. but I can't
read any personal statements on the air.
Well. maybe this will change your mind.
Cut the cameras!
Rolling cameras. Cameras are rolling.
Now. |- I don't wanna scare anybody.
I just want her to read this statement
on the air.
It's short and neatly typed.
We haven't formally met. Murphy Brown.
Oh. I know. Henry Tucker.
I have a funny feeling. Henry.
that you don't really wanna do this.
That you got yourself involved. and
you're sorry. and you're hoping that...
...somehow there'll be a way out.
Isn't that right. Henry?
No. Hey! What do you think you're doing?
Well. I was gonna slowly
drop down under the desk...
...craw| quietly along the floor.
grab your ankles...
...throw you off balance and grab the gun.
What are you. some kind of lunatic?
I took a shot.
All right. nobody do stuff like that. all right?
No security guards or police
or anybody in here. understand?
May I remind everyone.
millions of people are watching.
The ba||'s in your court. Henry.
Hello.
I'm Henry Tucker. A gunman.
And these are my hostages this evening.
Frank Fontana. Jim Dial. Corky Sherwood...
...and...
...Murphy Brown.
I'm sorry to be interrupting
your regular programming...
...but this is kind of important to me.
You see. I'm not used to doing
this sort of thing every day.
I do have a job. I'm a district sales manager
for the Green Grass Corporation.
Perhaps you're familiar
with some of our products.
We make sprinkler heads.
lawn mowers. green-
Speed it up. Henry.
America's switching to thirtysamething.
Right. So as soon as Ms. Brown
reads the statement I've prepared...
...|'|| leave and you can go back
to your show.
I told you. Henry. I don't do that
kind of thing.
If we journalists gave in to everybody
with some cause to promote...
...then newsrooms everywhere
would be filled with terrorists.
We have a certain code of ethics
to maintain...
...and that code of ethics is something
all journalists believe in very strongly.
- Isn't that right. guys?
- Read the statement!
You heard her.
Forget it. Henry. It's a losing battle.
Besides. I have a sneaking suspicion...
...and I think you know
what I'm talking about...
...that that's not a real gun.
Oh. that's just great!
On top of everything else. I'm poorly lit!
I think we better go into a commercial.
In five. four. three...
Hi. We're back.
Wrong camera. Henry.
Henry. Hey. Henry. How about
we have a little talk.
Just you and me.
What do you say?
Okay. But don't do anything
we'll both be sorry about. okay?
There may be many of you at home
wondering why I'm not wearing any pants.
I guess I'm just that kind of guy.
No. seriously. I have a tennis game
right after the show.
Honestly. this is the first time
I've ever done anything like this.
- I mean. I do have the pants-
- Frank.
Right. So. Henry...
...a little one-on-one here. huh? Guy to guy.
You're one of my favorites
on the show.
Reafly?
Yeah. It was great that time you
went into the drug bust...
...and cops and bullets
were flying everywhere.
And then that time you suited up
in the diving gear...
...and they lowered you in the cage
onto that reef with the great white.
- Couple of tense moments there. huh?
- I'll say.
So listen to me. Henry.
I want you to make a mind picture now.
Just you and me. We blow this pop stand.
We go find ourselves
some great little joint...
...where the beer is cold
and the steaks are thick.
We talk a little. we have a few laughs...
...then we pick up my pals
Sheila and DeeDee...
...and we do this town
like it's never been done before.
Come on. What do you say?
Am I seeing what I think I'm
seeing? Are you wearing a...?
Yeah. there's the little seam.
I can't believe it. It's a toupee.
Why don't you just shoot me?
Okay. people. Listen up.
I've got something to say.
- I really want a cigarette.
- Oh. Murph. would you cut it out?
Come on. now. I'm serious.
I know that somewhere in this studio.
there's a person with a cigarette for me.
You know it's not just my style to give up.
but this has been a really bad day.
I'm willing to pay 50 bucks.
- Murphy. it's not worth it. Listen to me-
- Wait a minute!
She wouldn't be asking
if she didn't really need it.
I feel her pain.
Oh. bless you. Carl. I'll never forget this.
You're a hell of a woman. Murphy Brown.
- Thanks. Carl.
- I love you deeply.
Come on!
I'm glad I'm finally letting
my true feelings come out.
MurphY-
...if we ever get out of this thing alive...
...I want you to be my woman.
I may not smoke it right away. Carl.
Hey. kid! What are you
doing on the phone?
It's the network.
You're not gonna believe this.
The ratings are going through the roof.
It's incredible.
The Nielsen hall of fame.
Cosby. eat my dust!
So let's not get lazy here.
Remember. the man's a maniac. the gun
is loaded. we're all going to die. Go.
You know. I'm getting impatient.
If she doesn't read my statement in 13
minutes. I'm going to do something drastic.
- Guys. I think it's time for a huddle.
- Right. right.
- What are you doing?
- We're just talking.
- About me?
- No.
Fellas. could you shoot over there
for a minute?
Okay. guys. we need a plan.
Anybody have any ideas?
Look. there's five of us and one of him.
I say we rush him.
I mean. how fast could he shoot?
Chances are. he'll only get one of us.
New plan.
Well. I'm not going to wait around
for anybody else to save me.
Sometimes a woman has to do
what a woman has to do.
We're dead.
Henry. I've been dying to ask you...
...are you married?
No. I'm not.
Well. who said all the good ones
were taken?
I'm not married either.
I'm a beauty queen. you know.
Miss America.
You know. it's not my nature
to be this forward. Henry.
But there's something about you.
Something...
...dangerous.
It's the gun.
No. no. something else.
I'm drawn to you. Henry.
Come on. Put away that gun.
and I promise you a night to remember.
All right. I'll wear the crown and sash
if you want.
I don't know how to say this.
Miss Sherwood...
...but I don't feel about you
the way you feel about me.
I open myself up to you...
...I allow myself to be vulnerable.
and you wipe your feet on me!
Well. here's a news flash. buster!
You've got a green thing stuck between
your teeth. and it's been there all night!
What's with the accent?
I'm from Louisiana!
It comes out when I'm upset!
Have you got a problem with that?!
We're dog food.
Stop it! Stop it!
What is this. some kind of torture thing?
All right. now.
Let's use some reason here.
It's time to put feelings
and emotions aside.
Jim! Jim! Jim!
Okay. Settle down now.
Henry. there are no winners
in this game you're playing.
- You understand that. don't you?
- Oh. shut up.
It's like a war. Henry. It all has
to end sometime. but at what cost?
- Eat dirt.
- I've covered wars in my career.
I've been in the trenches. but there
are still some people who think...
...that all I do is put on an expensive suit.
a voice. and read news off a Te|ePrompTer.
I'll tell you something.
Rather. Brokaw. Jennings...
...we've earned our place
behind that anchor desk.
Oh. yes. the medium is changing.
I admit that.
Now we've got shows like Geralda.
where they have a budget for ski masks.
Used to be different. Henry.
I could tell you a story about
my first days in Korea as a cub reporter.
It was cold at the Yalu River.
Damn cold.
And then one day you wake up.
and 30 years have passed.
And you start to find that dust
in the sheets in the morning.
You know what that dust is. Henry?
It's little pieces of you that died
in the night while you weren't looking.
Oh. this is depressing.
This is the most depressing night
I've ever spent in my life.
Okay. If she doesn't read this statement...
...I'm gonna blow her away!
Okay. him.
You know. Henry.
you're really starting to annoy me.
- Me too.
- You're way past my deadline.
I've lost my patience. I'm really getting-
What's that word?
- Agitated.
- Thanks.
Now. I can't take it anymore.
I'm gonna snap!
Murphy. I want you to read
the man's statement.
I've gotta smoke this thing.
Who's got a match?
I mean it. Murphy!
I'm making an executive decision.
This has gone on long enough.
For the safety of all those involved here.
read the statement.
- Miles.
- Murphy...
...as your superior. I am ordering
you to read the statement.
You're not one of us. Miles.
You don't have the right stuff.
Give me the damn statement. Henry.
"There is a problem in America.
Some of you choose to ignore it.
and so it goes unsolved.
Passed on to future generations.
to our children and our children's children.
It is time to stand up and join together
and put an end to a national disgrace.
I'm talking about people
who drive slow in the fast lane.
You know who you are.
You never look in your rearview mirror.
And if you did.
you couldn't see anything...
...because there's too much dry cleaning
hanging in the back seat.
You have those little magnetic
coffee mugs on your dashboard...
...and an ‘I'd Rather Be Golfing‘ sticker
on your bumper.
Didn't you take the same driving test
the rest of us did?
The left lane is for passing only.
Well. you've driven us crazy
long enough.
We're mad and we're going to get even.
We're going to cut you off and slow down
to 45 and see how you like it.
We're going to make your lives miserable.
And that's a promise."
Thank you.
Let's hope it does some good.
I'm going to turn myself in.
I'll be disappointed if there's not
a SWAT team outside that door.
You won't be disappointed.
And this has been another edition of FYI.
Good night.
That's a wrap. Good work. people.
What do you say we get out of here.
Go someplace we can be ourselves. huh?
I'm giving this back to you. Carl.
Life is bittersweet. isn't it?
I'm not gonna give up.
Well...
...I guess he got what he wanted.
didn't he?
And so did you.
Boy. I bet those ratings made history.
I wish.
After the guy stepped on the stage, I called
master control and had them go to black.
Wait a minute.
The Nielsen hall of fame...?
I made it up. I didn't know what kind
of person we were dealing with.
So for everyone's safety. I let him think
he was getting what he wanted.
Miles. I'm really impressed.
- ReaHy?
- Really.
- Do I get a hug too?
- Let's not push the envelope. okay?
- Right.
- Oh. what the hell.
11:15. Forty-five minutes left to go
in this wonderful day.
You gonna be all right?
No stops on the way home?
If I could get through that.
I could get through anything.
What about you?
I was this close to beating
that first episode of Roots.
You know. Miles. there's always next week.
I've been working on an idea:
"Nymphomania: Compulsive Behavior
or Just Plain Fun?"
Gotcha!
And that's why you're not married.
What is this?!
What is this?!
There's a scaffold in my living room!
And what are you doing here
at a quarter to 12...
...painting walls I didn't ask you to paint?!
Well. that's a real nice how-do-you-do.
Here I am. taking on added responsibilities.
I'm extending myself.
E|din!
I hired you to paint my kitchen.
It's a three-day job.
You've been here three weeks.
I'm an artist. I see things.
Like this wall. It was all wrong.
Florentine Sienna.
Wait. look over there.
Now look.
Big improvement. Am I right?
Come on. I'm right. I'm right. aren't I?
- Yes.
- Yes! Yes!
Fifteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes more.
and this rotten day is over.
You think you had a bad day?
I go to the paint store. I ask them:
"Mix me equal parts Burmese Gold
and Scarab Green."
You know what they do?
They mix me two parts Scarab Green
and one part Burmese Gold.
People don't take pride
in their work anymore.
It all started with turkey roll.
---
Muvph. Muvph! What are you doing?
Sure. Call attention to it.
Give me that.
- What the hell is going on with you?
- There's nothing going on with me.
It's an ugly lamp.
Muvph. you've been doing so great lately.
You're not gonna blow it now. ave you?
I know. I've been doing great.
but then today happened.
This has been a very strange day. Flank.
- Very strange.
- Come on. talk to me.
I've been out ot Betty Ford tor a month.
right? And it's been going okay.
Territic. as a matter ot tact.
I don't know. though. Today-
Today is ditferent.
I don't know why. but I've got this strong
urge to walk across the street to Phil's...
...order a Scotch and soda.
smoke an entire carton ot cigarettes...
...and listen to Little Peggy March sing
‘‘I Will Follow Him.“
Hang on. Murph. You don't wanna
slip back to the old you. do you?
Remember two months ago.
the Mother Teresa interview?
I was so hard on the woman.
I've just gotta get through this day.
- Hi. everybody.
- Hi. Corky.
I just had the most wondertul walk through
the leaves ot the Jetferson Memorial.
The sun was retlecting on the Potomac...
...and all the little squirrels
were chirping and playing...
...and gathering their nuts
tor the winter.
Isn't it just the most pertect day
you could ever imagine?
I ran over a squirrel on
my way to work this morning.
Oh. God.
I'll be in my oftice.
Murph. listen to me. You are not alone.
You've got triends here to help you.
- Who needs help?
- Murphy.
What's the problem. slugger?
I wanna smoke and drink a lot.
- Don't do it.
- Okay.
There you go. See you on the set.
Maybe it I just keep my mind
on my work. it'll be okay.
- Right.
- It I can just make it to the broadcast.
- I really love the broadcast. Frank.
- I know.
I love my desk and all the cameras.
- I love my chair.
- I know.
My favorite part is when that guy comes...
...and puts those little microphones
on our lapels.
- You teel better now?
- Oh. yeah.
Bad news. guys.
The show's been canceled.
Only kidding!
That's the second time
she's tried to kill me today.
I'm sorry I thought Smokey Robinson
was a torest ranger.
I apologize. Miles.
I've just been a little on edge lately.
I guess so. Your secretary is making
a pifiata with your lace on it.
Listen. Murph. I've gotta finish my copy
tor tonight's show.
Just remember what I said. okay?
One hour at a time.
Okay. Thanks.
So I have good news.
- Diane Sawyer's missing?
- Better.
Since I've been an executive producer
ot this show. we've gone up...
...one lull rating point.
Must have been the piece on
"Nuns After Dark" that did it.
You know. Murphy. there are some things
you don't know about me yet.
You're my boss. and you're
the same age as Amy Carter.
You don't know that underneath
this tough tacade...
...there's a very insecure human being.
I really wanna keep my job.
So it's important I do what I can
to keep the viewership growing.
Make your point. Miles.
I thought your piece on prison conditions
was a little downbeat.
How about a visit to the bra museum
at Frederick's ot Hollywood?
I love it. I got you again.
We will have a good relationship.
Going live. people.
In five. tour. three...
Good evening. and welcome to FYI.
For your intormation tonight. Frank Fontana
takes us on a territying journey...
...through our country's busiest airport
as he asks. "How Sate Are Our Skies?"
Corky Sherwood shows us the far-reaching
eftects ot a corporate miscalculation:
"Ha|ston: Why the Dream Died."
First. Murphy Brown takes us to a place
many ot us have never seen betore:
The inner recesses
ot a nuclear power plant.
That's right. Jim. Last week I visited
the Coral Canyon nuclear power tacility...
...and what I found may shock you.
It began with the plant manager...
...who-
It began with the plant manager. who...
...took us on a tour of a facility that-
On|y- Hi.
Hi.
Would you mind stepping away from
our cameras. sir? This is a live broadcast.
I will in a minute. As soon as you read
this statement on the air.
I'm terribly sorry. sir. but I can't
read any personal statements on the air.
Well. maybe this will change your mind.
Cut the cameras!
Rolling cameras. Cameras are rolling.
Now. |- I don't wanna scare anybody.
I just want her to read this statement
on the air.
It's short and neatly typed.
We haven't formally met. Murphy Brown.
Oh. I know. Henry Tucker.
I have a funny feeling. Henry.
that you don't really wanna do this.
That you got yourself involved. and
you're sorry. and you're hoping that...
...somehow there'll be a way out.
Isn't that right. Henry?
No. Hey! What do you think you're doing?
Well. I was gonna slowly
drop down under the desk...
...craw| quietly along the floor.
grab your ankles...
...throw you off balance and grab the gun.
What are you. some kind of lunatic?
I took a shot.
All right. nobody do stuff like that. all right?
No security guards or police
or anybody in here. understand?
May I remind everyone.
millions of people are watching.
The ba||'s in your court. Henry.
Hello.
I'm Henry Tucker. A gunman.
And these are my hostages this evening.
Frank Fontana. Jim Dial. Corky Sherwood...
...and...
...Murphy Brown.
I'm sorry to be interrupting
your regular programming...
...but this is kind of important to me.
You see. I'm not used to doing
this sort of thing every day.
I do have a job. I'm a district sales manager
for the Green Grass Corporation.
Perhaps you're familiar
with some of our products.
We make sprinkler heads.
lawn mowers. green-
Speed it up. Henry.
America's switching to thirtysamething.
Right. So as soon as Ms. Brown
reads the statement I've prepared...
...|'|| leave and you can go back
to your show.
I told you. Henry. I don't do that
kind of thing.
If we journalists gave in to everybody
with some cause to promote...
...then newsrooms everywhere
would be filled with terrorists.
We have a certain code of ethics
to maintain...
...and that code of ethics is something
all journalists believe in very strongly.
- Isn't that right. guys?
- Read the statement!
You heard her.
Forget it. Henry. It's a losing battle.
Besides. I have a sneaking suspicion...
...and I think you know
what I'm talking about...
...that that's not a real gun.
Oh. that's just great!
On top of everything else. I'm poorly lit!
I think we better go into a commercial.
In five. four. three...
Hi. We're back.
Wrong camera. Henry.
Henry. Hey. Henry. How about
we have a little talk.
Just you and me.
What do you say?
Okay. But don't do anything
we'll both be sorry about. okay?
There may be many of you at home
wondering why I'm not wearing any pants.
I guess I'm just that kind of guy.
No. seriously. I have a tennis game
right after the show.
Honestly. this is the first time
I've ever done anything like this.
- I mean. I do have the pants-
- Frank.
Right. So. Henry...
...a little one-on-one here. huh? Guy to guy.
You're one of my favorites
on the show.
Reafly?
Yeah. It was great that time you
went into the drug bust...
...and cops and bullets
were flying everywhere.
And then that time you suited up
in the diving gear...
...and they lowered you in the cage
onto that reef with the great white.
- Couple of tense moments there. huh?
- I'll say.
So listen to me. Henry.
I want you to make a mind picture now.
Just you and me. We blow this pop stand.
We go find ourselves
some great little joint...
...where the beer is cold
and the steaks are thick.
We talk a little. we have a few laughs...
...then we pick up my pals
Sheila and DeeDee...
...and we do this town
like it's never been done before.
Come on. What do you say?
Am I seeing what I think I'm
seeing? Are you wearing a...?
Yeah. there's the little seam.
I can't believe it. It's a toupee.
Why don't you just shoot me?
Okay. people. Listen up.
I've got something to say.
- I really want a cigarette.
- Oh. Murph. would you cut it out?
Come on. now. I'm serious.
I know that somewhere in this studio.
there's a person with a cigarette for me.
You know it's not just my style to give up.
but this has been a really bad day.
I'm willing to pay 50 bucks.
- Murphy. it's not worth it. Listen to me-
- Wait a minute!
She wouldn't be asking
if she didn't really need it.
I feel her pain.
Oh. bless you. Carl. I'll never forget this.
You're a hell of a woman. Murphy Brown.
- Thanks. Carl.
- I love you deeply.
Come on!
I'm glad I'm finally letting
my true feelings come out.
MurphY-
...if we ever get out of this thing alive...
...I want you to be my woman.
I may not smoke it right away. Carl.
Hey. kid! What are you
doing on the phone?
It's the network.
You're not gonna believe this.
The ratings are going through the roof.
It's incredible.
The Nielsen hall of fame.
Cosby. eat my dust!
So let's not get lazy here.
Remember. the man's a maniac. the gun
is loaded. we're all going to die. Go.
You know. I'm getting impatient.
If she doesn't read my statement in 13
minutes. I'm going to do something drastic.
- Guys. I think it's time for a huddle.
- Right. right.
- What are you doing?
- We're just talking.
- About me?
- No.
Fellas. could you shoot over there
for a minute?
Okay. guys. we need a plan.
Anybody have any ideas?
Look. there's five of us and one of him.
I say we rush him.
I mean. how fast could he shoot?
Chances are. he'll only get one of us.
New plan.
Well. I'm not going to wait around
for anybody else to save me.
Sometimes a woman has to do
what a woman has to do.
We're dead.
Henry. I've been dying to ask you...
...are you married?
No. I'm not.
Well. who said all the good ones
were taken?
I'm not married either.
I'm a beauty queen. you know.
Miss America.
You know. it's not my nature
to be this forward. Henry.
But there's something about you.
Something...
...dangerous.
It's the gun.
No. no. something else.
I'm drawn to you. Henry.
Come on. Put away that gun.
and I promise you a night to remember.
All right. I'll wear the crown and sash
if you want.
I don't know how to say this.
Miss Sherwood...
...but I don't feel about you
the way you feel about me.
I open myself up to you...
...I allow myself to be vulnerable.
and you wipe your feet on me!
Well. here's a news flash. buster!
You've got a green thing stuck between
your teeth. and it's been there all night!
What's with the accent?
I'm from Louisiana!
It comes out when I'm upset!
Have you got a problem with that?!
We're dog food.
Stop it! Stop it!
What is this. some kind of torture thing?
All right. now.
Let's use some reason here.
It's time to put feelings
and emotions aside.
Jim! Jim! Jim!
Okay. Settle down now.
Henry. there are no winners
in this game you're playing.
- You understand that. don't you?
- Oh. shut up.
It's like a war. Henry. It all has
to end sometime. but at what cost?
- Eat dirt.
- I've covered wars in my career.
I've been in the trenches. but there
are still some people who think...
...that all I do is put on an expensive suit.
a voice. and read news off a Te|ePrompTer.
I'll tell you something.
Rather. Brokaw. Jennings...
...we've earned our place
behind that anchor desk.
Oh. yes. the medium is changing.
I admit that.
Now we've got shows like Geralda.
where they have a budget for ski masks.
Used to be different. Henry.
I could tell you a story about
my first days in Korea as a cub reporter.
It was cold at the Yalu River.
Damn cold.
And then one day you wake up.
and 30 years have passed.
And you start to find that dust
in the sheets in the morning.
You know what that dust is. Henry?
It's little pieces of you that died
in the night while you weren't looking.
Oh. this is depressing.
This is the most depressing night
I've ever spent in my life.
Okay. If she doesn't read this statement...
...I'm gonna blow her away!
Okay. him.
You know. Henry.
you're really starting to annoy me.
- Me too.
- You're way past my deadline.
I've lost my patience. I'm really getting-
What's that word?
- Agitated.
- Thanks.
Now. I can't take it anymore.
I'm gonna snap!
Murphy. I want you to read
the man's statement.
I've gotta smoke this thing.
Who's got a match?
I mean it. Murphy!
I'm making an executive decision.
This has gone on long enough.
For the safety of all those involved here.
read the statement.
- Miles.
- Murphy...
...as your superior. I am ordering
you to read the statement.
You're not one of us. Miles.
You don't have the right stuff.
Give me the damn statement. Henry.
"There is a problem in America.
Some of you choose to ignore it.
and so it goes unsolved.
Passed on to future generations.
to our children and our children's children.
It is time to stand up and join together
and put an end to a national disgrace.
I'm talking about people
who drive slow in the fast lane.
You know who you are.
You never look in your rearview mirror.
And if you did.
you couldn't see anything...
...because there's too much dry cleaning
hanging in the back seat.
You have those little magnetic
coffee mugs on your dashboard...
...and an ‘I'd Rather Be Golfing‘ sticker
on your bumper.
Didn't you take the same driving test
the rest of us did?
The left lane is for passing only.
Well. you've driven us crazy
long enough.
We're mad and we're going to get even.
We're going to cut you off and slow down
to 45 and see how you like it.
We're going to make your lives miserable.
And that's a promise."
Thank you.
Let's hope it does some good.
I'm going to turn myself in.
I'll be disappointed if there's not
a SWAT team outside that door.
You won't be disappointed.
And this has been another edition of FYI.
Good night.
That's a wrap. Good work. people.
What do you say we get out of here.
Go someplace we can be ourselves. huh?
I'm giving this back to you. Carl.
Life is bittersweet. isn't it?
I'm not gonna give up.
Well...
...I guess he got what he wanted.
didn't he?
And so did you.
Boy. I bet those ratings made history.
I wish.
After the guy stepped on the stage, I called
master control and had them go to black.
Wait a minute.
The Nielsen hall of fame...?
I made it up. I didn't know what kind
of person we were dealing with.
So for everyone's safety. I let him think
he was getting what he wanted.
Miles. I'm really impressed.
- ReaHy?
- Really.
- Do I get a hug too?
- Let's not push the envelope. okay?
- Right.
- Oh. what the hell.
11:15. Forty-five minutes left to go
in this wonderful day.
You gonna be all right?
No stops on the way home?
If I could get through that.
I could get through anything.
What about you?
I was this close to beating
that first episode of Roots.
You know. Miles. there's always next week.
I've been working on an idea:
"Nymphomania: Compulsive Behavior
or Just Plain Fun?"
Gotcha!
And that's why you're not married.
What is this?!
What is this?!
There's a scaffold in my living room!
And what are you doing here
at a quarter to 12...
...painting walls I didn't ask you to paint?!
Well. that's a real nice how-do-you-do.
Here I am. taking on added responsibilities.
I'm extending myself.
E|din!
I hired you to paint my kitchen.
It's a three-day job.
You've been here three weeks.
I'm an artist. I see things.
Like this wall. It was all wrong.
Florentine Sienna.
Wait. look over there.
Now look.
Big improvement. Am I right?
Come on. I'm right. I'm right. aren't I?
- Yes.
- Yes! Yes!
Fifteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes more.
and this rotten day is over.
You think you had a bad day?
I go to the paint store. I ask them:
"Mix me equal parts Burmese Gold
and Scarab Green."
You know what they do?
They mix me two parts Scarab Green
and one part Burmese Gold.
People don't take pride
in their work anymore.
It all started with turkey roll.