Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 2, Episode 18 - Mary Tyler Moore - full transcript

Mary gladly agrees to sit with twelve year old Bess for the weekend while Phyllis and Lars are away. After agreeing to do this for the Lindstroms, Mary learns that her old boyfriend, Anton 'Sandy' Styrokowski, a renowned concert pianist, is in town only for the weekend for a concert. After Phyllis has already left, Mary receives an invitation from Sandy to go out with him that evening. Bess urges Mary to go, and for Mary either to find another person to sit with her for those few hours or leave her on her own. Mary agrees to get a sitter for the few hours she'll be out that evening. But finding a professional sitter for a Saturday night on the day of is a seemingly impossible task, and all Mary's personal friends, such as Rhoda, can't do it. Once Mary does find a sitter through Murray, Mary feels that she can't leave Bess with who does show up. Mary calls in her last resort, who agrees but who may not be the most obvious choice as a sitter, especially of a twelve year old girl who wants to do twelve year old girl things.

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♪ WHO CAN TURN THE
WORLD ON WITH HER SMILE ♪

♪ WHO CAN TAKE A NOTHING DAY ♪

♪ AND SUDDENLY MAKE IT
ALL SEEM WORTHWHILE ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S YOU, GIRL
AND YOU SHOULD KNOW IT ♪

♪ WITH EACH GLANCE AND EVERY
LITTLE MOVEMENT YOU SHOW IT ♪

♪ LOVE IS ALL AROUND
NO NEED TO WASTE IT ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE THE TOWN
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪

♪ YOU'RE GONNA
MAKE IT AFTER ALL ♪♪

[ Knocking ]

[ Sneezes ]



- RHODA?
- [ Groans ]

[ Sneezes ]

BLESS YOU!

[ Stuffy ] MARY, I THINK I MAY POSSIBLY
BE COMING DOWN WITH A COLD.

WHAT'S YOUR TEMPERATURE?

OOH. WHAT... WHAT IS IT?

101. THAT HAS TO BE MY TEMPERATURE,
RIGHT? IT COULDN'T BE MY WEIGHT?

RHODA...

GET BACK UPSTAIRS
AND INTO BED. RIGHT.

IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN
GET YOU? VITAMIN C, ASPIRIN...

NO, MAR, BUT THANKS A LOT, KID.

- I WOULD LIKE A COUPLE OF
MAGAZINES. THAT WOULD BE NICE.
- I'LL DROP THEM OFF FOR YOU.

AND SOME BOOKS MAYBE. A
CROSSWORD PUZZLE OR TWO.

- A PUZZLE. GOOD. BREAK THE MONOTONY.
- FRUIT. I LOVE FRUIT WHEN I'M...



FRUIT? I GOT SOME
ORANGES, I THINK.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE MY CAR IN FOR
A SIX-MONTH CHECKUP. I WAS WONDERING...

RHODA! ALL RIGHT.

HI, MARY. MORNING.

YES, WELL, UH... I ALWAYS SAID
THAT LOOKS AREN'T IMPORTANT...

WHEN YOU HAVE A GOOD
CLOTHES SENSE GOING FOR YOU.

PHYLLIS, I'D LIKE TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT?

OH, IT IS SO HARD FOR
ME TO TELL YOU THIS.

WHAT IS IT? YOU
CAN TELL ME. WHAT?

I'M EXTREMELY CONTAGIOUS.

MARY, HOW YOU CAN BE SO FRIENDLY
WITH RHODA IS REALLY BEYOND ME.

WELL...

WELL, ANYWAY, I CAME UP HERE TO
ASK YOU FOR A FAVOR, MARY, BUT...

MARY, DO NOT SAY YES UNLESS IT'S
REALLY CONVENIENT FOR YOU. PROMISE?

I PROMISE.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD
STAY WITH BESS FOR THE WEEKEND...

IT WOULD REALLY BE TERRIFIC, AND
IT WOULD REALLY HELP ME OUT A LOT.

STAY WITH BESS FOR THE
WEEKEND? IS THAT ALL? YEAH. UH-HUH.

OH, SURE. I'D BE
GLAD TO. OH, MARY.

OH, I'M SO RELIEVED.
OH, YOU'RE A LIFESAVER.

WELL, BESS HAS HER LITTLE SUITCASE ALL
PACKED AND HER SLEEPING BAG ALL ROLLED UP.

AND SHE'LL COME UP
HERE AND STAY WITH YOU.

WOULD SHE BE MORE COMFORTABLE
IF I WENT DOWN AND STAYED WITH HER?

THAT WOULDN'T SEEM
FAIR. NO, I DON'T MIND.

NO, I MEAN, TO BESS.

LARS AND I ARE GOING
OFF ON OUR LITTLE

ADVENTURE AND SHE
OUGHTA BE ABLE TO HAVE ONE.

OH. WELL, WHAT LITTLE ADVENTURE
ARE YOU AND LARS OFF TO?

OH, WELL, UM, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT A GROUP MARATHON IS?

WHERE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE GET TOGETHER
AND DISCUSS THEIR PROBLEMS, RIGHT?

YEAH. NOT THAT LARS AND I
HAVE ANY PARTICULAR PROBLEMS...

BUT, UH, IF IT'S POSSIBLE
FOR THINGS TO BE BETTER...

WHY SHOULDN'T HE BE?

YEAH, SOUNDS TERRIFIC TO ME TOO.

EXCUSE ME, TED.
HOLD ON A MINUTE.

DO YOU REALIZE YOU'VE BEEN TYING
UP MY PHONE FOR OVER HALF AN HOUR?

BUSINESS CALL,
MAR. CAN'T BE HELPED.

WHAT, HONEY?

[ Laughs ] YEAH. IT SURE WOULD
BE NEATO TO GET OUT OF TOWN.

UH, HOW ABOUT 7:30?

SEE YOU THEN!

[ Laughs ]

YOU GOING OUT OF TOWN THIS
WEEKEND? WELL, UH, SORT OF...

OH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING, TED?

OH, NOWHERE. JUST A
PLACE. NOT IMPORTANT.

JUST SOMEPLACE. ON
BUSINESS. BY MYSELF.

MMM, BY YOURSELF... ON BUSINESS?

WELL, MAYBE ONE OTHER PERSON.

HEY, MURRAY.

HOW ABOUT COMING OVER TO THE HOUSE
TOMORROW NIGHT? WATCH THE FIGHT WITH ME?

APOLLO SAYS HE'S GONNA
PUT SANDERS AWAY IN THE

12th, BUT I GOT FIVE
BUCKS SAYS HE DOESN'T.

NO THANKS. I'D LIKE TO, BUT I HAVE
TICKETS TO A CONCERT TOMORROW NIGHT.

A CONCERT? MM-HMM.

GO TO THE FIGHT... [ Mutters ]

I CAN'T EITHER, LOU. I'M
GOING OUT OF TOWN. WHAT?

- I SAID I CAN'T EITHER, LOU.
- CAN'T EITHER WHAT?

COME TO YOUR HOUSE
AND, UH... WATCH IT.

[ Clears Throat ]

[ Mumbles ] I GUESS IT'S
TIME TO GO TO THE STUDIO...

TED! YOU SURE YOU CAN'T MAKE IT
OVER TO THE HOUSE TOMORROW NIGHT?

SORRY, NO CAN DO. MAYBE
SOME OTHER TIME, FELLA.

MURRAY, UH, IF YOU
CHANGE YOUR MIND...

THANKS, BUT I WON'T. THE CONCERT'S A
ONE-NIGHT THING. I DON'T WANT TO MISS IT.

WHAT CONCERT IS IT?

OH, THIS FANTASTIC YOUNG PIANIST IS
PLAYING WITH THE MINNEAPOLIS SYMPHONY.

STYROKOWSKI. ANTON STYROKOWSKI.

- SANDY'S... IN TOWN?
- YEAH. SANDY?

WELL, UH, OH, YEAH. THAT'S WHAT WE
USED TO CALL HIM BACK IN ROSEBURG.

YOU MEAN, HE'S FROM
ROSEBURG, MINNESOTA? YEAH.

HMM, THAT'S DISILLUSIONING.

UH, HOW WELL DID YOU
KNOW HIM? OH, JUST SLIGHTLY.

UH-HUH?

WELL, HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM.

- BUT YOU ONLY KNEW HIM SLIGHTLY?
- YEAH.

WELL, OF COURSE, I WOULD HAVE
KNOWN HIM BETTER IF I'D ACCEPTED.

OKAY, THIS LIST SO FAR,
WE HAVE ON THE AGENDA...

GOING TO THE CAR WASH, GOING
HORSEBACK RIDING, GOING TO THE PARK...

TO IDENTIFY FLORA AND
FAUNA FOR MY SCIENCE REPORT.

RIGHT. GETTING STUFF AT THE
MARKET TO BAKE COOKIES WITH,

AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, COMING
HOME AND BAKING THESE GIANT COOKIES.

DID I LEAVE ANYTHING
OUT? THAT SOUNDS TERRIFIC.

[ Knocking ] COME IN.

HI, GROUP. [ Mary ] HI.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING? ABOUT THE
SAME. HOW'S THE WEEKEND GOING?

GREAT SO FAR. LOOK WHAT WE'RE
GONNA DO TODAY. NOT TOO CLOSE.

UH-HUH. YEAH. "IDENTIFYING
FLORA AND FAUNA"?

TSK. GEE, I HAVEN'T IDENTIFIED A
FAUNA IN LORD KNOWS HOW LONG.

NO, BESS. IT
SOUNDS LIKE FUN, KID.

[ Phone Rings ] MARY, HAVE YOU GOT
SOME ORANGE JUICE I COULD BORROW?

YEAH. HELP YOURSELF.

HELLO? SANDY?

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
OH, ISN'T THIS GREAT?

RIGHT, RIGHT. I KNOW.

UH, YOUR CONCERT, UH, TONIGHT?

LISTEN, SANDY, CAN YOU
HANG ON JUST A SECOND?

UM, BESS, COULD YOU GO OUTSIDE
AND SEE IF THE MAIL'S COME YET?

WELL, SURE, AUNT MARY. THANKS.

SANDY, LISTEN, UH... THIS IS
JUST INCREDIBLY BAD TIMING.

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING I WOULD
RATHER DO THAN HEAR YOU PLAY, BUT...

I GOT A SMALL PROBLEM...

BUT LISTEN, HOW ABOUT TOMORROW
NIGHT? OH, JUST THE ONE NIGHT, HUH?

AUNT MARY... JUST A
SECOND, SANDY. YES, DEAR?

IF THERE'S SOMEPLACE YOU WANNA GO, DON'T
NOT GO ON ACCOUNT OF ME. I CAN STAY ALONE.

OH, NO, BESS DEAR.
I'D FEEL RESPONSIBLE.

WELL, YOU CAN GET A SITTER.
NO, HONEY, I JUST... SANDY?

MARY, TELL HIM TO HOLD ON.

COULD YOU HANG ON JUST
ANOTHER, UH, COUPLE OF SECONDS?

IS THIS THE GUY YOU SHOWED ME HIS
PICTURE IN THE PAPER AND HE'S ADORABLE?

RIGHT. WHAT'RE YOU STAYING HOME
WHEN YOU CAN GO OUT WITH HIM?

AND BESS DOESN'T MIND IF
YOU LEAVE HER WITH SOMEBODY.

- RHODA, I CAN'T...
- OKAY, I'M GONNA HELP.

I'LL GO OUT WITH HIM.

SANDY, UH... AUNT MARY...

JUST ANOTHER, UH,
EXCUSE... [ Mumbles ]

HONESTLY, YOU SHOULD GO. I'D FEEL
BAD IF YOU STAYED HOME BECAUSE OF ME.

WELL... REALLY.

COME ON. HELLO, SANDY?

UH, SLIGHT REVERSAL OF
PLANS HERE. I'D BE DELIGHTED.

TONIGHT AT MY HOUSE? OKAY,
GREAT. SEE YOU THEN. BYE-BYE.

WOW. HOW DO YOU LIKE
THAT AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?

I LIKE IT. I LIKE IT.

BESS, DO YOU HAVE A
REGULAR BABY-SITTER?

I USUALLY CALL MISS HENDERSON'S
AGENCY. THEY HAVE THE MOST FUN SITTERS.

OH. 555-2010.

HEY, LISTEN, MAR. THANKS
FOR THE ORANGE JUICE.

AND HAVE A GOOD TIME TONIGHT,
HUH? THANKS. FEEL BETTER.

YEAH. [ Coughs ]

HELLO, UH, MRS. HENDERSON?

UH, THIS IS MARY RICHARDS. AND, UH,
I'D LIKE TO HIRE A SITTER. THAT'S RIGHT.

OH, FOR TONIGHT.

UH, MRS. HENDERSON,
WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

OH, WELL, I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT
SATURDAY NIGHTS WERE BOOKED UP SO FAR...

IN, UH, AD... YOU KNOW... VANCE.

WELL, LISTEN, COULD YOU
RECOMMEND ANOTHER AGENCY?

WELL, YES, I REALIZE THAT
YOU'RE THE BEST, BUT, UH...

COULD YOU POSSIBLY TELL ME
WHO SECOND-BEST MIGHT BE?

THE-THERE ISN'T ANY? WELL,
THANK YOU, MRS. HENDERSON.

YEAH, SHE'S FUN.

I REALLY HAD A FUN
TIME TODAY, AUNT MARY.

OH, YEAH. IT WAS A LOT
OF FUN FOR YOU SITTING

AROUND WATCHING ME
CALL BABY-SITTERS ALL DAY.

[ Knocking ] COME IN.

OKAY, GIRLS, HOW DO I LOOK?

WHOA.

RHODA. YOU'RE NOT
GOING OUT TONIGHT?

YOU KNOW, THE CRAZIEST THING
HAPPENED A LITTLE WHILE AGO.

ALL DAY LONG I'VE HAD A
TEMPERATURE OF 101, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

THIS GUY CALLS ME WHO I'VE BEEN DYING TO GO
OUT WITH AND HE ASKED ME OUT FOR TONIGHT.

THIS SORT OF MIRACLE OCCURRED...

- WHAT WAS THE MIRACLE?
- THE MIRACLE WAS I DECIDED TO
GO WITH A TEMPERATURE OF 101.

OH... [ Sneezes ] I
GOTTA STOP DOIN' THAT.

SO WHAT HAPPENED
WITH THE SITTER?

I CALLED EVERY AGENCY IN TOWN.
I FINALLY HAD TO CALL MURRAY.

HE GAVE ME THE NAME OF A
SITTER... WHO WAS NOT AVAILABLE,

BUT HER SISTER IS, SO SHE'S
COMING OVER TO SIT WITH BESS.

I'M GLAD IT ALL
WORKED OUT FOR YOU.

YOU COULD MAKE YOURSELF
MUCH SICKER GOING OUT TONIGHT.

NAH. DID YOU TELL HIM YOU
HAVE A TEMPERATURE OF 101?

I WOULD HAVE, MAR, BUT,
UH... IT'S THIS RULE I HAVE.

I NEVER DISCUSS FLU SYMPTOMS WITH A
6'1" YALE GRADUATE WITH BLACK, CURLY HAIR.

WELL, YOU COULD
GIVE HIM YOUR COLD.

UH-HUH. IF I PLAY
MY CARDS RIGHT.

- BYE-BYE.
- BYE.

WELL, I THINK YOU'LL HAVE
PLENTY OF STUFF TO EAT TONIGHT.

THERE ARE THINGS IN HERE TO
MAKE SANDWICHES WITH, AND, UH...

WELL, THERE'S ENOUGH STUFF IF THE
BABY-SITTER BRINGS A BOYFRIEND EVEN.

[ Doorbell Buzzes ]

I'LL GET IT, AUNT MARY.
THANK YOU, DEAR.

HI. IS THIS MRS.
RICHARDS'S APARTMENT?

YEAH. I'M YOUR SITTER.

YOU'RE THE, UH, THE SITTER?

UH-HUH. I'M DEE DEE. THIS THE
LITTLE GIRL I'M SITTING WITH?

UH, WELL, DEE DEE, IF YOU DON'T
MIND MY ASKING, HOW OLD ARE YOU?

OH, AROUND 12, 13. THAT AREA.

UH, A-ARE YOU SURE...

AUNT MARY, LET ME HANDLE THIS.

OKAY, WHO'S SILAS MARNER? WHO?

SHE'S 11.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE
HOW OLD I AM, AS LONG AS I'M GOOD?

WELL, UH, DEE DEE, THE THING
IS THAT BESS HERE IS-IS 12.

YOU KNOW, AND I MEAN,
IT'S JUST FUNNY TO EVEN...

LOOK, I CAN MAKE HER GO TO BED.

I MAKE MY BROTHER GO TO BED,
AND HE'S BIGGER THAN SHE IS.

SO JUST TELL ME WHAT TIME
YOU WANT THE KID IN BED.

WELL, DEE DEE, THIS IS
ALL VERY, VERY ADMIRABLE.

AND I'M SURE THAT YOU'RE A
FINE, FINE LITTLE SITTER, BUT, UH...

IT'S TEN AFTER AND...

WELL, MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE, AND WHEN
MY DATE GETS HERE, WE'LL DRIVE YOU HOME.

RIGHT NOW, I GOT 20 MINUTES TO DRUM UP
SOMEBODY WHO CAN COME OVER AND SIT.

CAN I HELP YOU WITH
THAT PUZZLE, LITTLE GIRL?

NO.

CALLED HER. CALLED HER.
RHODA'S OUT. MURRAY'S NOT HOME.

I CAN STAY ALONE. IT'S
ONLY FOR A FEW HOURS.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

HI. IT'S, UH, MARY.

LISTEN, I'M SORRY TO BOTHER
YOU BUT I'M SORT OF DESPERATE.

DO YOU, BY ANY CHANCE,
KNOW OF SOMEBODY WHO

CAN COME OVER AND
BABY-SIT WITH BESS TONIGHT?

SEE, UH, IT'S SORT
OF AN EMERGENCY.

WELL, RIGHT AWAY.

YEAH, MY TELEVISION
SET'S WORKING...

YOU MEAN IT? OH, THANK YOU.
THAT'S ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIC.

SEE YOU IN A WHILE. WHO'S
GOING TO BE MY SITTER?

MR. GRANT.

CAN I HELP YOU?
NAH, I CAN DO IT EASY.

[ Doorbell Buzzes ]

MARY. HI.

WELL, I'D RECOGNIZE YOU
ANYWHERE. YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.

AW, HEY, SANDY. YOU TOO.

COME ON IN. ARE THESE YOURS?

OH, NO. NO, NO.

WHOSE ARE THESE?
UH, OTHER PEOPLE'S.

THAT'S BESS WITH THE LONG, UH, WHO
IS STAYING WITH ME FOR THE WEEKEND.

AND, UH, THIS IS DEE DEE,

WHO WE HAVE TO DROP OFF,
AS SOON AS MY BOSS GETS HERE,

WHO IS BABY-SITTING TONIGHT,
AND I'LL EXPLAIN IT AGAIN LATER.

AND, UH, GIRLS, THIS
IS ANTON STYROKOWSKI.

CALL ME SANDY. IT MAKES
LIFE SO MUCH SIMPLER.

[ Doorbell Buzzes ]

EXCUSE ME. THAT WILL BE MY BOSS.

OH, MR. GRANT, IT'S JUST
GREAT THAT YOU COULD COME.

RIGHT. WHERE'S THE SET?

GOOD, GOOD.

IT'S BLACK AND WHITE. UH, YEAH.

UH, MR. GRANT, I'D LIKE
YOU TO MEET ANTON...

WELL, SANDY STYROKOWSKI. HI.

AND YOU KNOW BESS. AND
THAT'S, UH, LITTLE DEE DEE.

UH-HUH. I WAS ALL READY
TO WATCH THE FIGHT.

A TUBE BLOWS OUT ON MY SET, AND EDIE IS
WATCHING THIS DOCUMENTARY ON HER SET.

THE SIX WIVES OF HENRY THE EIGHTH. THE
EIGHT WIVES OF HENRY THE SIXTH. I DUNNO...

[ Man On TV ] AND THE CHAMPIONSHIP
FIGHT WILL BEGIN IN A FEW MINUTES...

RIGHT AFTER THIS WORD
FROM CAVALIER BLADES.

WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE ALL SET,
SO, UH, WE CAN BE ON OUR WAY.

DEE DEE, WE'LL DROP YOU OFF.

PLEASURE MEETING YOU.

UH, I BETTER NOT TAKE A
CHANCE. I'M PLAYING TONIGHT.

STYROKOWSKI. YOU GOT A
BROTHER WHO PLAYS FOR CHICAGO?

- AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO.
- HE PLAYS HALFBACK, DOESN'T HE?

THAT MUST BE A
DIFFERENT CHICAGO.

WELL, HAVE FUN YOU TWO.
AND NOT TOO LATE, BESS.

- OKAY.
- I'LL SEE YOU LATER, MR. GRANT.

[ Man On TV ] NO
MORE SCRAPED CHINS.

JUST DIAL THE TONE TO
SET YOUR BEARD ON EDGE...

AND WATCH IT MELT
RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE.

NEW FROM CAVALIER...

DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, KID.
JUST DON'T PLAY WITH MATCHES.

[ Man On TV ] NOW HERE'S
THE REFEREE ALAN FERDOMO...

GIVING THE FINAL
INSTRUCTIONS TO THE FIGHTERS.

BOY, THIS IS GONNA BE
SOMETHING. THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.

CAN I WATCH WITH YOU, MR. GRANT?

SURE. SIT DOWN.

[ Bell Rings ]

THIS IS THE MOMENT THAT GETS
YA. IT STARTS SLOW AT FIRST.

THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE FEELING EACH
OTHER OUT, MAPPING OUT THEIR STRATEGY.

SEE, THEY GOTTA GO 15.
THAT'S WHY THEY PACE...

HE'S DOWN! WHAT?

HE'S DOWN!

FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN...

STOP THAT. STOP THAT COUNTING.

TEN. AND IT'S ALL OVER. IT'S DOWN
TO 38 SECONDS OF THE FIRST ROUND.

THE WINNER AND NEW
CHAMPION IS APOLLO.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT. I
JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT.

IT SEEMS LIKE AN AWFUL
LOT OF TROUBLE FOR THOSE

FIGHTERS TO GO THROUGH
FOR SUCH A SHORT THING.

USUALLY, IT LASTS
LONGER. USUALLY, I SEE IT.

SO...

UH. WELL, WELL...

UM, YOU GO TO A
SCHOOL OR ANYTHING?

YEAH.

YOU IN ANY PARTICULAR
GRADE? EIGHTH.

EIGHTH? [ Whistles ]

BOY. WELL, WELL, WELL...

EIGHTH GRADE. THAT'S
SOMETHING. UM...

YOU GETTING A LITTLE DROWSY YET?

NOT YET. IT'S STILL
PRETTY EARLY.

ARE THERE ANY OTHER CHAMPIONSHIP
FIGHTS YOU'D LIKE TO WATCH ON TV TONIGHT?

NOT TONIGHT. WHAT ELSE IS ON?

THERE'S A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT
HENRY THE EIGHTH AND HIS SIX...

- NO, THAT ONE I KNOW ABOUT.
- THERE'S THE CLANCY CLAN.

- WHAT'S THAT?
- WELL, SEE, THEY HAVE
ALL THESE KIDS.

AND EVERYBODY LAUGHS A LOT...
'CAUSE THEY HAVE ALL THESE KIDS.

UH, WHAT ELSE IS ON? IS
THERE ANYTHING REAL ON?

LIKE A WESTERN?

UH-UH.

[ Clicks Tongue ]
BOY... [ Exhales ]

SO... WELL, WELL, WELL.

- SO, YOU'RE IN
THE EIGHTH GRADE, HUH?
- YES, SIR.

[ Knuckles Crack ] CAN
YOU DO THAT AGAIN?

WHAT? CRACK YOUR KNUCKLES.

NO, IT'S ONLY GOOD
ONCE AT A TIME.

MAYBE LATER. OKAY.

REMIND ME.

HEY, MR. GRANT. WHAT?

KNOW WHAT'D BE
REALLY NEAT TO DO?

WHAT? MAKE COOKIES.

MAKE COOKIES?

I DON'T MAKE COOKIES, KID.

OH, MR. GRANT, IT'S REALLY FUN.

AUNT MARY AND I
BOUGHT THIS COOKIE MIX...

LOOK, YOU WANNA MAKE COOKIES? YOU
GO GET A BOX OF COOKIES, GET A PLATE.

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.
YOU MAKE COOKIES.

BUT THEY TASTE SO MUCH BETTER
WHEN THEY COME OUT OF THE OVEN.

YES. ALL NICE AND HOT.

AND YOU CAN HAVE THEM
WITH SOME NICE, ICE-COLD MILK.

YEAH, NICE, ICE-COLD MILK.

WELL, IT DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE MILK.

YOU CAN DRINK ANYTHING COLD
WITH THEM. ANYTHING YOU WANT.

ANYTHING YOU WANT?

MM-HMM.

LIKE IF YOU WANT MILK,
YOU CAN HAVE MILK.

RIGHT? RIGHT.

AND IF I WANT MILK, I
CAN HAVE SCOTCH, RIGHT?

RIGHT. I LIKE YA, KID.

LET'S GO MAKE COOKIES. OKAY.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, LET'S
HAVE A LITTLE MILK RIGHT NOW.

WHY DON'T YOU GET
THINGS STARTED?

I ALWAYS HATE TO MAKE
COOKIES ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

OH, MR. GRANT, YOU'LL
LOVE THIS. UH-HUH.

OKAY. "PUT CONTENTS INTO BOWL."

"ADD ONE EGG..."

ONE EGG, RIGHT.

"AND ONE CUP MILK." A WHOLE CUP?

YOU STIR WHILE I TURN
ON THE OVEN. ALL RIGHT.

OH.

AHHH.

YEAH, IT'S GONNA
WORK OUT JUST FINE.

FOUND THE CARDS.

MMM, THOSE COOKIES SMELL
GREAT, DON'T THEY? MM-HMM.

OKAY. WHAT CARD
GAMES DO YOU KNOW?

HOW ABOUT HEARTS? DON'T KNOW IT.

CASINO? DON'T KNOW IT.

CANASTA? DON'T KNOW IT.

POKER? KNOW IT.

THAT'S GREAT.

YEAH, BUT IT'S NO FUN UNLESS
WE PLAY FOR SOMETHING.

I DON'T GET MY ALLOWANCE
UNTIL TOMORROW.

CHIPS... WHAT CAN
WE USE FOR CHIPS?

IF YOU CAN WAIT UNTIL THEY COOL,
WE CAN PLAY FOR THE COOKIES.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. YEAH.

OKAY, NOW WHAT DO
YOU WANT TO PLAY?

SPIT IN THE OCEAN?
OR NO-PEEKY BASEBALL?

WELL, HOW ABOUT FIVE-CARD STUD?

I LIKE YA, KID.

OH, LOOK AT THAT...
AH. ISN'T THAT SWEET?

SHE'S CUTE WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING.

I MEANT MR. GRANT.

I WONDER WHAT ALL THOSE COOKIES
ARE DOING ON BESS'S SIDE OF THE TABLE?

STRANGE. HI.

HI. I HEAR THOSE
GO GREAT WITH MILK.

WE PLAYED A LITTLE POKER.

DID BESS BEAT YOU?

NO, I JUST ATE MY WINNINGS.

WELL, WAS EVERYTHING
OKAY? NO PROBLEMS?

NO, FINE. NO PROBLEMS.

GOOD. JUST FINE.

I'LL JUST BE ON MY
MERRY WAY. GOOD NIGHT.

MR. GRANT, I JUST CAN'T
THANK YOU ENOUGH.

YOU MAY HAVE A POINT.

HMPH. WELL, I GUESS I
BETTER GET BESS INTO BED.

YEAH.

SO, I'LL SEE YOU FOR BREAKFAST
IN... WELL, ABOUT EIGHT HOURS. RIGHT.

AND LUNCH. AND RIGHT
UP UNTIL MY PLANE LEAVES.

THAT'D BE GREAT.

HEY, SANDY, YOU KNOW
IT IS REALLY SO STRANGE...

IT'S LIKE NO TIME AT ALL HAS PASSED
SINCE WE LAST SAW EACH OTHER.

I KNOW.

AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO HAVE CHANGED? ISN'T
THIS WHERE I'M EXPECTED TO LOOK AT YOU...

AND SAY TO MYSELF, "I WONDER
WHAT I EVER SAW IN HER"?

[ Clears Throat ] I FORGOT.

EDIE NEEDED THE CAR TO TAKE HER
SISTER HOME, AND I TOOK A CAB HERE...

AND THERE'S NOT MUCH CHANCE OF ME HAILING
A CAB DOWN THERE AT 1:00 IN THE MORNING.

OH.

WELL, LOOK, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO. I CAN ALWAYS CALL A CAB.

NO, NOT AT ALL. MARY, I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW. SEE YOU TOMORROW.

YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO...

NO, IT'S PERFECTLY OKAY.
I DON'T MIND IN THE LEAST.

I TAKE ALL OF
MARY'S SITTERS HOME.

HOW MUCH TRAVEL TIME DO YOU GET?

HE'S A CUTIE, AUNT MARY.

OH!

DON'T YOU GET NERVOUS PLAYING
IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE?

NERVOUS? NO. I'M A PROFESSIONAL.
WE DON'T GET NERVOUS.

WE GET PANIC-STRICKEN.

[ Knocking ] [ Phyllis ]
OOH-OOH, OOH-OOH.

PHYLLIS! HI, MARY.

WELCOME HOME. HELLO, SWEETHEART.

HOW'D IT GO? SUPER, PHYLLIS.

YOU WANT SOME COOKIES THAT
I MADE? I'D LOVE SOME LATER.

PHYLLIS LINDSTROM, UH,
THIS IS SANDY STYROKOWSKI.

HI. HI, SANDY.

BESS, I'D LIKE TO HEAR
ALL ABOUT IT LATER.

HOW WAS THE MARATHON?

MARY...

IT WAS THE FINEST
EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.

AND I TRULY BELIEVE THAT LARS
AND I HAVE GROWN EVEN CLOSER.

OHHH. IF YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT.

AND SO, THAT'S WHY I WANT
TO ASK YOU ANOTHER FAVOR.

UM, WELL, SURE. WH-WHAT IS IT?

MARY...

COULD YOU POSSIBLY KEEP
BESS JUST A LITTLE WHILE LONGER?

WELL, I'D LIKE TO, BUT SANDY AND I
ARE GOING OUT IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES.

THAT'S PLENTY OF
TIME. THANK YOU, MARY!

[ Mews ]