Mary Tyler Moore (1970–1977): Season 2, Episode 15 - Mary Tyler Moore - full transcript

When she sees how community minded most of her friends are - including Lou, Murray, Ted and Phyllis - Mary feels guilty about how she is spending her free time and wants to get involved in some sort of community group. On Phyllis' recommendation, Mary decides to go to a Women for Better Government group meeting. She chose this group specifically because she doesn't want her new community mindedness to be turned into a quest for finding a man. Despite that, Mary convinces Rhoda to tag along. Mary's no-man plans are inadvertently thwarted when the one and only man at the meeting, the governor's assistant, is attracted to Mary, he who wields his political influence to track her down. Mary is excited about the prospect of dating him. But time after time, he calls at the last minute to postpone their date as some work issue has arisen. As Mary quite often has rearranged her own schedule to accommodate his, she wonders if they will ever have a date at all.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Returning to the national scene,
garbage collection in New York

has come to a standstill
until the sanitation workers

and the city come to terms
on a new __

Spokesmen for the striking workers
said that unless their demands are met

they will continue to refuse
to collect the refUSE.

Meanwhile the mess mounts.

Isn't that awful?

Yeah, I shall hope ??
it doesn't happen here.

I was talking about Ted.

Until tomorrow at six.

This is Ted Baxter saying...

This is Ted Baxter saying
good night and good news.

What do you say
on my calendar here. ??

You wrote "important" and then made
some squiggly lines after it.

I must have been in a hurry,
I wrote it in shorthand.

You have the Major's Commission meeting
on crime and violence tonight at 8.

I'm glad I caught that.
If I miss that meeting they'll kill me.

How do you qualify as
an expert on violence, Lou?

Wait till Ted gets here,
I'll show you.

Mr. Grant, don't forget
tomorrow night

you have the Twin Lakes
home owners association meeting.

I just bought a couple of tickets
to a big fund-raising banquet.

I've got to go to that home owners meeting,
it's being held at my house.

Murray, you take these tickets
and go on my place.

I'd love to, Lou, but
I'm on the help and welfare committee

of my union and
we have a meeting tomorrow night.

If you can't get anybody else,
I'd be happy to go to the banquet
in your place.

Thanks anyway, Mary.

I will, really.

I will.

Well, okay.

What's the banquet for anyway?

Big Brother's of America __

I have something else to do.

Too bad you can't go, Mary.
You'd be a big hit there.

I'll go.
Where is it I'm gonna be
a big hit, Lou?

The Big Brother's of America banquet.

Oh, really?
I didn't know we had a club.

Wait till my little brother
hears about this.

No, Ted, you don't get the idea.

You volunteer to be a big brother
to an underprivileged kid.

It's great. You take him
to ballgames and dinner

and just be his pal.

I don't think I'd be any good at that.
I can't even do that with my real brother.

I couldn't go anyway
Tuesday night.

What's so special about Tuesday night?

I volunteer to entertain the troops
of local armed forces __ bases.

Ted, that's very nice.

What is it that you do?

A little comedy act.

He's gonna read the news to them
and break them up.

They asked me to come and I...

Just couldn't REFuse, right, Ted?


I know I shouldn't ask this but
just what kind of a comedy act do you do?

I do a ventriloquist act.

No kidding!

Whose knee do you sit on?

I don't know how all of you
find the time to do all these things
in addition to your job.

Mr. Grant's got 3 meetings this week,
you've got one...


Ted's doing that show.

I just don't know how you find the time,
I feel so...

Do you know what I am doing tomorrow night
while you're at your meeting

and you're at your meeting
and you're entertaining the troops?

I'm washing my hair.

Mary, I'd give up
all my outside activities

if washing my hair would take up
a whole evening.

I forget. If you wanna loosen something
you turn it clockwise or counterclockwise.


I think I just tightened it tighter.

Mary, you're not strong enough
to loosen it.

Maybe I just have to go out and
hail a man.

Got it!

Too bad.

Come on in, Phyllis.

to find Td ways to spend your evening.

The chain is broken
on Rhoda's bike.

Too much weight, I guess.

Right, Phyllis.

I was sitting on my boyfriend's shoulders
while he was pedaling.

Rhoda and I have decided
to take up biking.

Rhoda, I had no idea you were
so interested in ecology.

Who's interested in ecology?
I'm interested in my thighs.

My ecology group is trying
to eliminate cars from the city

and get people
to use bicycles instead.

Phyllis, what was that you were driving
out of your garage this morning?

It was a very big thing
with a lot of black smoke
coming off the back.

I have to use my car.

I __ city
I don't have the time to just go pedaling
all over town.

Phyllis, where do you find the time?

You make the time, Mary,
if you're a concerned citizen.

There's no reason you couldn't.

You have no ties, no responsibilities,
no one who needs you.

You need her, Phyllis.

Who would you be bullying right now
if she weren't here?

No, she's right.
I should try to make the time.

__ from me to try to influence you
but joining some sort of a city group

wouldn't hurt your social life either.

I'm not looking
for a way to meet men,

I am looking for a way
to do something, to be involved.

You know, you're right.

It's __ for us to get actively interested
in civic affairs

to become better citizens.

And if along the way we happen to meet
a couple of cute new guys...

No, Rhoda!

I don't wanna do this
to meet men.

Phyllis, are there any groups
that are exclusively female?

Mary, let's not be fanatics about this.

Let me see here now.
Exclusively female.

Wait. Here it is.



Here it is.

A new group.
Women for better government.

And they're having a first meeting tonight
at 8:30 in __ auditorium.

Tonight, huh?

That sounds pretty good.

Do you wanna go with me?

What would I wanna go there for?

Who knows.

You might find it more stimulating
than watching roller derby on TV.

Come on, go with me.
Why don't you go upstairs and change?

Mary, I am proud of you.

All right, I'll go.

Why would I go change my clothes?
For a bunch of women?

Wait, maybe there'll be
a parking attendant.

Tonight it was fun. __

I'm gonna put some coffee on,
do you want some?

I'll just put your __ box and stuff
down here, okay?

I really liked tonight, I did.

I have to admit
I was a little apprehensive at first

in front of all those women but
I think it was pretty good.

I like the speech that Mrs. Hendrix gave,
didn't you?

There is a woman who has really
done her share.

Do you know that
she is personally responsible

for 3 bills being introduced
in the legislature this year?

Think of her.

Think of her?
Think of him.


Him, that's who.
__ next to her.

You mean the governor's assistant.

Yeah, Mary, the only man
in the room.

I like the plans that he showed us
for more glass bottle recycling centers.

Positively gorgeous.

People shouldn't have to drive
20 miles to get to one.

If you make it convenient for people
they will cooperate and take their bottles

into the centers. ??

What's wrong?

He was crazy about you.

He was not.

He was too.

During the question-and-answer period
when you asked a question

he left the podium,
came down in the audience,

asked me to move over
and he sat down next to you

and answered you personally
for 15 minutes.

That's when I thought to myself
"Rhoda, he's interested in her".

Rhoda, he did not
come down off the stage!

With his eyes, he did.

Why are you smiling?

I'm sorry.

Mary, listen __ to me.

Believe me, I know why
you went to that meeting:
not to meet men.

Well, so you got unlucky,
you have my sympathy.

Come on, Rhoda,
I didn't meet him.

I wish I had,
he was pretty attractive.

He didn't even get my name.

He got mine,

he took off my name tag
and pinned to his jacket.

Good night, kid.

Good night.

Can I leave this down here
for tonight?

Maybe it'll be gone
in the morning.


See you tomorrow, kid.


Of course I remember you.

We only met ?? an hour ago.

You didn't have to do all that,
I would have given you my number.

Lunch? Tomorrow?

I'd like that.

Why don't you call me
on my office tomorrow morning?


Fine, I'll talk to you then.



How what?

How did he get your number?

Simple matter, to get
a person's number.

He didn't know your name.

He got my license __ number
__ driving away.

And then he stopped
a highway patrol man

and had him call in and get my name,
address and phone number.

I once got a guy track me down
like that.

A highway patrol man.

A 63 dollar speeding ticket.

And a week in jail.
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,400
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,300
Yes, sir?

you have to go shopping
for me today.

For my wife's birthday.

I usually give her money
to buy something for herself

but this year
she wants to be surprised

by you.

You'll have to hurry.
Her birthday was yesterday.

We're kind of busy this morning.

So. Go on your lunch hour.

I have sort of a lunch appointment.

Is it a business lunch?

No. I'm having lunch
with a friend.

Eddi is going to be awfully disappointed
if I don't get her a birthday present today.

I'm sorry.

I'm gonna be
awfully disappointed too.

But you're having your lunch
with your friend.

This lunch is sort of important to me.

It must be to antagonize me
at 10:30 in the morning.

Mr. Grant, I...

It's okay.

I'll go and get her a gift myself.

She'll hate it but
I'll get it myself.

What happened in there, Mar?

Good morning, guys.

Mr. Grant asked me to get Mrs. Grant
a birthday present. I had to say "no".

Good for you, Mar.

If you got her a present
you'd have to get Murray's wife a present

and I don't even have a wife.

It isn't fair.

And after all whoever
thinks of my mother.

What's your mother got
to do with this?

Well, if everyone's wife gets a present
I don't know why my mother...


You can't make it for lunch?

But I...

When, now?

I'll be downstairs in 10 minutes.

Thank you.
Bye bye.

Come in.

[Clears throat]

Mr Grant, after having thought
about it, I have decided that

I would be delighted to buy
Mrs. Grant a birthday present at lunch.

He broke your lunch date, huh?

I wasn't gonna tell you this
but he broke my lunch date.

He made another date
for just 10 minutes from now

downstairs for coffee.

If it's all right with you.

I know it sounds a little weird
but he is a very busy...

Just a minute.

I don't wanna know who it is
you're running out to me.

You know the policy around here is
that we don't bring our personal
lives into the newsroom.

Just do your work.


Make sure you get Eddi
a nice present.

Has Mrs. Grant given you any hints
as to what she'd like her surprise to be?

Only for 20 years.

But it's too late now,
the species is extinct.

I've got plenty of time
to find her something really nice.

Because now... Before I couldn't.
I had a problem but now I can...

I'm gone, I'm gone.

I just want you to know
I appreciate what you're doing.

Would you like a nice gold locket
with my picture in it?

That would be very nice.

I mean for my wife!

Oh, better.

What happened? You just left.

He canceled again.

The cashier of the coffee-shop
had a message for me
that he couldn't make it.

Are you looking for something?

No, thanks.

If you're looking for something
let me help you with it.

I'm just reading.

You're reading the old news files?

I couldn't pick up a newspaper this morning.

They must have emptied the trash basket
at the bus stop early.

Your date phoned
to tell you he's sorry he stood you up ??

but he got an emergency call
at the last minute from the governor.

To make up for it
he wants to buy you dinner tonight

but he won't be able to call you
this afternoon

so he'll pick you up
at 8 at your place

if it's alright with you.

Yeah, that's fine.

I'll tell him that
the next time he calls.

You know, he'd make
a terrific receptionist.


Yes, it is.

No, he isn't here yet
but I am expecting him,
we have a date.

Who's calling, please?

Well, hello,
Mr. Governor, sir.

Can I have him
return your call—

You'll wait?
On the…?

If you want to,
that's fine with me.

No, no trouble.

He said that he would be here
at 8 o'clock.

So he should be here
in 2 minutes.

One minute,
if he's early.

It's Mary Richards.

I'm very pleased
to meet you too, sir.

I voted for you.

You're welcome.

I'd be glad to hold on.

Go right ahead.

Yes, sir, I'm still here.

You have him on your other phone?

He can't make it tonight.

Yes, I heard...

Yes, sir. I heard you.

No, I understand.
Of course I don't blame you.

I hope you both have
a very pleasant evening.

Good bye, sir.

If you would just
make separate piles...

Where are my stamps?

The envelopes on the right,
the fliers on the left.

I just had those stamps.

Stamps are around your neck.

-You're welcome.

Okay, are you ready?


Oh, Mary.

If my mother was here
she'd say you're asking for trouble.

It's perfect.

You don't think it's too dressy?

Not for that place.

Where is it he's taking you?

The twelve trees.
I've never been there before.

Oh, you'll love it.

I haven't been there in years.
Not since out 5th wedding anniversary.

Lars has better taste
than I thought.

Lars wasn't there.

He was out of town but I thought
why let that ruin a perfectly good anniversary?

Mary is going there for a celebration too.
It's her 5th first date.

I thought you'd already
been out with him.

Not quite. He's had to cancel
every date we've had so far
because of work.

But tonight he promises
nothing can interfere.

The governor is making a speech in Duluth
so he won't even be in town.

I hope it works out for you, kid.

These super-career guys
are really rough.

With them
work always comes first.

That's a good point, Rhoda.

This is a sacrifice
a woman has to make.

Many times I've been left alone
while Lars is going out on emergency house calls.

Phyllis, Lars is a dermatologist.
When does he ever make house calls?

On weekends he and another doctor
take each other's calls.

He's a bone specialist.


When somebody breaks her leg
Lars goes to the house and tells her
not to scratch it.

What do you think of these?


I have just the thing for that dress.
I'll be right back.

Mary, here they are.
My best earrings.

Antique gold.

Phyllis, they are beautiful
and they are perfect.

They really do look great.

Just be very very careful
with them.

They've been in my family for generations.
I don't know what I'd do if you lost them.

They're ensured, of course,
but your mother hand them...

Thank you, Mary.


No, I wouldn't mind at all.

Right. Bye bye.

Wouldn't mind what?

Meeting him downstairs.

He just called from his car
to say he's running a little late.

I'm just so thrilled
he didn't call to cancel it

that I might take a bus
and meet him at the restaurant.

See you in the morning.

Have fun, Mar.

-Good luck, Mary.

I wonder if it is his car now.

It's a limousine.

Here comes Mary now.

The car door is opening.

How does he look?

He's not getting out.

A chauffeur is.

How does he look?

They're driving off now.

Very slowly.

Now picking up speed.

They're rounding the corner.

And they're off
for the big date!

Oh, you're back.
I thought you fell off.

I'm so pleased
that Mary is finally

going out with somebody
worth __

Instead of all those gangsters
she usually runs with.

When a girl is very thirty
and attractive, has a nice personality...

I find it difficult to understand
why she isn't married.

You're talking about Mary.

Of course.

Cause you can understand
why I'm not married.

Of course.

Do me a favor, Phyllis.

Will you write it down
and send it to my mother,
she doesn't understand.

There you are.

And here I am.


What are you doing back here?

It happened again.

The minute I got into his car
the phone rang.

It was the governor.

And because the governor
was out of town

he had to go somewhere
in his place.

Why didn't you go
with him?

Because he had to go
to Anchorage, Alaska.

Why didn't you go
with him?

Oh, boy, all that money
and that dress never got off the block.

Maybe he didn't notice it, kid.
You can wear it again.

What again?
No more "agains" with him.

Gotta be the shortest romance
on record.


Why do I wanna get involved with
someone like that for?

Two minutes here,
a phone call there.

And he's trying
to impress me!

Imagine what it would be like
if we were going together

and he started taking me
for granted?

Good morning, guys.

Good morning.

Leaving town, Ted? That's too bad.
I'll drive you to the airport.


I keep my dummy in this thing.
I mean my hand puppet.

I'll show it to you.

Hi, guys!


__ cuddle, Mary.

You know the little kids at the airport
really __ my act last night.

The kids?

Some of the officers
brought their kids.

Fuzzy and I were a real smash,
right, Fuzzo?


You know, I've got to think.

That's always trouble.

If my show could have a little more kid-appeal
it might help the ratings.

What did you have in mind?

I don't know.

Something like kids view of the news.
Five minutes or so.

This is Ted Baxter...

and Fuzzy with the latest __ news.

News. "N", "E", "W", "S", "news".

You are hired.
You, out!