Make Some Noise (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - Brennan's Wario, Wennan Wee Wulligan - full transcript
Brennan, Ruha, and Oscar explore the journey of a toxic ballet teacher.
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- [Sam] Tonight, a background actor
that's too aware of the camera,
it's Brennan Lee Mulligan.
- Remember your mark.
Oh no.
No, no.
Why are you going right towards it?
Stop.
God, turn around.
Oh, I blew it.
Shit!
- [Sam] Dancing to YMCA in a silent disco,
it's Ruha Taslimi!
(people clapping and cheering)
And a toddler rushing
for their parents' leg,
it's Oscar Montoya.
(upbeat music)
(people cheering)
They're all here to.
- [Everyone] Make some noise!
(upbeat music)
- [Sam] Welcome to Make Some Noise,
the game so good, we
spun it off unchanged.
I am your host, Sam Reich,
and here's how the game works.
I have a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before.
Isn't that right players?
- Yes.
- Presumably.
- Yeah, sure.
No, I haven't.
- They will to the best of their ability
fulfill those prompts,
I will award them corresponding points,
and the winter will go home
with the coveted golden ear,
which grants three wishes
so long as those wishes
are for a golden ear.
Players are you ready to rumble?
(people saying "yes")
Brennan,
the ghost of St. Patrick's Day's Past.
(Brennan making wind noises)
(Brennan singing in faux-Irish)
- Right, Ebeneezer Scrooge...
(faux-Irish gibberish)
ah ya bastard man!
My name's Seamus O'Finnegan Ryan McPhee,
you must learn the true
meaning of Saint Patrick's Day,
and what this day was all about
when first the blessed Saint
came to the Emerald Isle.
Come with me Ebeneezer.
Here is the blessed Saint Patrick
driving the "snakes" out of Ireland.
He's murdering pagans, Ebeneezer Scrooge.
He's making the island right for the Lord,
the one true Lord, Jesus
Christ, Ebeneezer Scrooge,
and you learn to live
with him in your heart
or it's to perdition you'll be bound!
(Brennan singing in faux-Irish)
- And I'll cut you off there Brennan.
- There's one more ghost.
- Let's go to 1800s England and
there's some publisher like,
"Charlie, listen to me,
this Christmas Carol is
doing bang up numbers.
We could do an Easter Carol,
a St. Patrick's Carol."
- "Heck, even an Arbor Day."
- "Arbor Day!"
- A past, present, and future
amount of points for you.
- Oh, that's a lot.
- Ruha!
Welcome to the show.
- Thank you.
- What a treat!
Your prompt is "A Toxic Ballet Teacher
"Goes Over the Choreography Impatiently."
- Triggered.
- Where's my cane?
I know one of you took my cane,
and you think you're getting out of this,
but you're not because I have a foot.
Now, Cindy,
when I ask you to kick, I want the leg up,
I know we've been over
that I'm not allowed to grab you anymore,
(people laughing)
and if you don't want to be
a better dancer, then fine,
I won't, but I'm going to pound my foot
since I know you stole my cane, Cindy,
until you get that foot up, okay?
(Ruha stomping)
Get out!
- I will cut you off there, Ruha.
Brilliant, Ruha. A one
and a two and a three
and a four amount of points for you.
Very well done.
Oscar, welcome to the show as well.
- Hi, hi, hi, hi.
- [Sam] The first person to discover
that you can drink cow's milk.
- Dude, dude,
whoa, ask me what this is, man.
Ask me what this is, man.
Bartholomew, check it out, alright.
I was out at the farm
trying to get the cows in place, right?
'Cause we slaughter the cows to make beef,
you know what we do here,
but then I was like, wait a second.
What are these dangling
things coming out of this cow?
And then I was like,
you know what they sort of remind me of?
Mama's tatas, you know what I mean?
Sh, dude, I'm getting there man.
So I go in there and I say, okay,
this could be the best thing
or the worst thing that
could happen to me, right?
- I'm gonna cut you off there, Oscar.
- Straight up, no gamble, no gain, right?
You gotta give it a try.
You gotta give it a try.
Let's say a 2% amount of
points for you, Oscar.
Brennan, all the way back at you.
Brennan's Wario,
Wennan Wee Wulligan.
- Heh!
It's me, Wennan Wee Wulligan.
Goodbye
me?
What's the opposite of "hey gang"?
The important thing is this:
I hate Dungeons and Dragons.
My favorite tabletop roleplaying game is
Investing in Multinational Corporations,
a game I play from dawn till dusk.
I hate children and staying hydrated,
and I love to not tell stories about stuff
that happened at LARP Camp.
- I'll cut you off there.
- How was that for you, Brennan?
Channeling that?
- I felt that it was very on the nose
and sort of referential to myself,
but that sort of tactlessness
is exactly what Wennan
Wee Wulligan would do.
- [Ruha] Totally.
- There you have it.
- 10 GME option calls for you,
that's a little Robin Hood reference.
Ruha,
your great aunt has something to say
about everything in your junk drawer.
- Rubber bands, these don't stay good.
They get old, they break.
You can throw things away, Ruha.
No, yes, I know I was
helping myself to water,
but I could not help but see
this drawer in your kitchen
when I was looking for a cup.
Yes, I was looking for
a cup in your drawer.
They don't act so like oh
you're looking for a cup
in a drawer because wow,
almost everything is in this drawer
I could possibly imagine.
Just cash?
Just loose cash?
Anyone could come in.
What is this?
Just notes that say happy
birthday to your own cat?
Well, listen.
I, no, yes I am thirsty, but.
- I will cut you off there Ruha.
- Just picturing your aunt and you
like on opposite ends of
the house, screaming at you.
- Oscar, there is a world in which
this one is a little mischievous.
Oh, just so you think.
- The toxic ballet teacher's assistant
goes over the same choreography as before.
- Okay.
- Remember, kick.
- Again.
Remember, kick high.
Kick high.
Cindy I know what you did, okay.
You took the teacher's cane.
Okay?
So for you, I need that
arabesque up there, honey.
Higher.
Are you in pain?
Good, give me more.
Actually, that was quite impressive.
Fifth position now, four, three.
Everyone take a seat, Cindy stand center.
A 5, 6, 7, and guess what?
I also have feet.
(people laughing)
- I'll cut you off there Oscar.
- What am I holding?
I was holding something.
- Yeah like a notepad presumably.
- The whole page saying
"Ballet not good today.
Ballet good today."
- Ballet could be better today.
- A 16 count amount of points for you.
(upbeat music)
- That brings us to the mini game.
This is a mini game
called Wrong Answers Only.
Players, I'm gonna present
you with a category
and you give me some
corresponding make-em-ups.
The category is now that's
what I call fizzy drinks.
Players, I think you're aware
that in some parts of the
United States, we call it soda.
In other parts of the United
States, we call it pop.
I'm gonna present you with some locations,
you tell me what soda's
called in that location.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
Oscar.
- We call 'em crocodile tears.
- Crocodile tears!
Yes we do.
Brennan.
- Let's catch you a big
glass of daddy water.
- Ruha.
- Oh these are big boobies.
- [Sam] Booooobies.
I think this one is gonna go
to Brennan for daddy water.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Next up,
Manchester, United Kingdom.
Ruha.
- Fizzlety squirt.
- Oh no.
- A big old glass of fizzlety squirt.
- Brennan.
- Scrumpt drink.
- Oscar.
- The teeth decayer.
- Ooh.
The teeth decayer is very good, Oscar.
I think that one's gonna
have to go with you.
Next up, Sydney, Australia.
- Ruha.
- Koala juice.
(people laughing)
- It's the face.
It's the face that makes it for me.
- It's very delicious.
- Is it?
- Yah!
Doesn't look like it is.
(people laughing)
- Brennan.
- Milk.
- That's interesting.
- Oscar.
- Fizzy, fizzy, fizzy, oy, oy, oy.
- That's pretty good Oscar,
but I think this one's
gonna have to go with Ruha.
- For the face.
- Next up, Transylvania.
- Carbonated beverage.
(people laughing)
- Ruha.
- Dr. Acula Pepper.
(people "oh"-ing)
- I can't top that, but I
want to suck your bubbles.
(people laughing)
- This one's with Ruha as well.
That's good, that's good.
- Camelot.
- The holy gr-ale?
(people laughing)
- Ruha.
- Lance-a Sips A Lot.
(people gasping)
- Oscar.
- The lady in the soda.
(people laughing)
- You go out to see the lady in the lake,
and she's just floating way at the top.
"It's hard to get down near the bottom.
Please take the sword and go."
- "Take it, just take -"
(people chattering and laughing)
(upbeat music)
- That brings us to round two
where our players will
now test their talents
in teams of two.
Brennan.
Ruha.
The Germaphobe's Association's
Secret Handshake.
- Terry, it's amazing to see you.
I can't believe it's been a whole year.
(people vocalizing)
Bubble looks great.
(people laughing)
- I'll cut you off there.
I love a succinct little scene.
Sometimes it feels like
what we're doing up here
is we're making Far Side cartoons.
(people laughing)
Just perfect.
I don't wanna touch this calculator,
but this amount of points.
Ruha and Oscar.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hello.
- Two reindeer quietly
trash talking Santa.
- That was a great ride, boss!
- Yeah Santa, we love you!
- Prancer, the fuck?
(people laughing)
- I mean Dancer like, what was that?
- It was messy, it was sloppy,
it's the worst Christmas
in about 600 years.
- Yes, it was great.
- Sleigh, queen, sleigh!
- That landing on that
rooftop in Santa Monica.
- The way that, you know,
we were having like asides
and then like Blitzen got in it
and we were all having a Kiki
and then Santa's like, oh,
do your job, I was like, excuse me?
We are not your elves, honey.
We're not your--
Looking cute, Santa Claus.
- We love, you changed
into your little robe!
Your breaktime robe!
Yes, you deserve.
- You better work Santa, you better work,
'cause you don't at all at the workshop.
And Mrs. Claus, she ain't loyal.
- Are you kidding me?
- Yeah.
- I mean with a booty like that.
- Right?
He don't pay enough
attention to that booty.
- He's gonna lose her.
- He already lost.
- He already has.
(people laughing)
- I'll cut you off there.
Holy shit.
I want this animated show immediately.
- Yeah, a 12 days of
Christmas amount of points
for the two of you.
Oscar and Brennan, a
dramatic video game cut scene
transitions awkwardly into the gameplay.
- Mario.
- Luigi.
- I saw you cheating on
Princess Peach with Pauline.
- Luigi, what the fuck
do you want me to say?
- How dare you, man?
- You think things are so fucking simple.
- Hmm.
- You're so worried about
my relationship with Peach.
Why are you always thinking
about Peach so much, man?
- Because
I
loved her first.
- Fuck you, man.
- Fuck you.
I know what you're doing
putting the star liquified form,
drinking it, getting fucking
jazzed up every night.
- Maybe I am jazzed
'cause somebody forgot the
name on the fucking game.
- Oh,
but you forgot the most important part.
It's the Mario Brothers
man, the Mario Brothers.
- I've been waiting for
this a long fucking time.
You want to go you string
bean looking motherfucker?
- Let's fucking go.
(people beeping)
(people laughing)
- I'll cut you off there.
Smash Brothers would be
so much more interesting
if it began with scenes like that.
We just wanna know their motivations.
Galaxy or Odyssey about
points for the both of you.
Brennan and Ruha.
- Hello again.
- White water rapid tour
guides prepare their group
for the Bermuda Triangle.
- Okay, so this is gonna
be a bumpy ride everyone.
I hope you have all your safety vests on.
The white water rapids go fast.
- Guys so it's gonna
be pretty simple, okay?
When I call out left,
I want everyone on the left
side of that raft to go left.
When Tev calls out right,
I want everyone to hit
the paddle on the right,
and if we yell out straight up.
- Straight up.
- That means that we are
in the Bermuda triangle,
we're gonna shoot straight
up into the sky, okay.
- That's right, and if
Kev yells straight up
separate from me Tev that
means something else.
- Timelines have diverged, okay?
So that means that only I am
with one version of the raft
and only Tev is with the
other version of the raft.
- That's correct,
'cause we need to prepare you
for all the possible outcomes
that a Bermuda Triangle
situation could arise.
Some people may be asking
white water rapids,
we're nowhere near the Bermuda Triangle.
- Yeah, 'cause that's how
the Bermuda Triangle works.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, we're not geographically
near it so it can't find us.
- I will cut you off there.
- This is what "Lost" should have been.
- What "Lost" should have been.
- A Whirlpool amount of
points for the both of you.
Ruha and Oscar.
Questions your little
sibling insists on asking you
before you fall asleep.
- Hey Mark, are you asleep?
Mark?
- What is it, Ben?
- I have a question for you.
- Okay, yeah, what's up?
- Are you asleep?
- No, yeah, what is it?
- That's my question, are you asleep?
- Again, I did answer.
- 'Cause I'm not asleep,
and I was wondering if you were asleep
because if you go to
sleep, where do we go?
What happens to our bodies?
And it's 'cause I closed my
eyes, but like am I here?
- Okay, Ben, yeah, listen.
- Are you still asleep?
- No, I'm not asleep.
When we go to sleep, our
bodies stay right here.
- Okay.
- So we sleep and sometimes if you dream,
it feels like you're somewhere else.
- Yeah I have dreams where you're asleep
and I walk into your
room like I am doing now
and I ask, are you asleep?
And then you don't respond.
You're not asleep now, are you?
- I will cut you off there.
- This was me as a little
brother by the way to a T.
3:00 AM amount of points
for the two of you.
And last but not least in
this round, Oscar and Brennan,
The Great British Baking Show's
judges going down the line
on a technical challenge.
- Well, Mr. Paul Hollywood.
- Prue, shall we start here as
we do in every single episode
and I always announce it
like it's a brand new thing
that's going to happen?
- Hello, hi.
- Underproved, overworked,
the sugar's all over the side,
glaze running off the side,
marzipan coming out the bottom,
and there's a little,
little Lego man on the top
and this is a technical, so
they should all be identical.
- They should be exactly the same.
- Exactly the same so.
- Shall we Paul?
- Yes, let's.
Now I like the look of these,
the look of these I like.
There's cut through, see that's raw dough.
- I'm sorry.
- That's raw dough.
- What are you saying?
- It's raw.
- Raw?
- Raw dough.
I know I have a Yorkshire, but it's.
- Sorry, excuse us.
- I wouldn't eat that if I
were you. This is pure poison.
Sorry, Jeff Cameraman.
I think that we should stop
the technical challenge.
Find out who did this.
- But we've been doing
the technical challenge
for about 60 years.
- That's right, this show began
in 1962.
Now these are bananas,
there's a plate of bananas.
- They're not even tarts.
- They're not even tarts.
- I will cut you off there.
I like that we very briefly stepped into
the lore of the Great British Baking Show.
1.962 points for the two of you.
(upbeat music)
That brings us to our
second and final mini game.
Players, this is a game we
like to call Make It Sing.
We give you an object,
you make it sing for us.
Your sound is.
(dramatic alien music)
- If we give the aliens a cold.
- Oscar, you're up.
- This is a big deal.
- Yes it is.
- Cause I love theremins.
(theremin squealing)
- That's pretty darn good Oscar.
- I'll take it.
- Sounds like a grandma
groaning over a bad joke.
- Ruha, that is you up!
- Okay, great, thank you.
(instrument buzzing)
- I mean, Ruha,
I think that's a pretty,
pretty great attempt.
(people laughing)
- What the fuck?
- The force is strong with this one.
- Okay Brennan, top that.
- You have some context clues
now from your fellow players.
- I know.
(theremin squealing)
- Brennan looks like he's
throwing baseball signs.
- What the fuck does this
guy want me to pitch? Okay.
(theremin squealing)
- I guess you could use a finger
instead of the whole hand,
but it's less dramatic that way.
- That's what she said.
- Oh my god.
(theremin squealing)
- All right, I'll cut you off.
- I'm still learning!
- How did that feel?
- Yeah how was it?
- Playing a theremin?
- I don't know, like a strange alien power
had been given to me, but
on the one hand it felt like
there are things beyond mortal ken
to which we cannot claim knowledge,
but then also I was like,
how the hell would you do
hot cross buns on this?
(people laughing)
- Brennan if the goal was
whale song, great work,
but those points are gonna go to Ruha.
- Absolutely.
- I'm sorry.
I bought a theremin in my twenties.
(upbeat music)
- That brings us to round three
where our players will now hold hands
and jump into the abyss all together.
- Jumping.
- Are we doing this?
- Over the podium?
- We are ready to die.
- Metaphor.
- Oh.
- Host related patter.
- Oh.
- We would've done it.
- We came so close.
- Brennan, Ruha, Oscar,
the person with one line in the play
somehow manages to fuck it up.
- From dust we came and
to dust, we shall return,
and so the bitter pill,
we both must swallow.
If indeed the time has come
for us to meet as brothers
on the field of battle.
Do you now regret this
grudge at long last?
- Is it time for the tea?
- But pray for my servant
who has prepared the
tea with the bitter pill
that we must swallow? We don't
have to say what I'm saying.
We can just.
- Is the tea ready for our demise?
[Oscar whispering] The tea
is ready for our demise.
- The what?
Sorry, I'm sorry.
- The tea is ready for our demise.
- You want me to say it now?
- You should have said it five lines ago.
- Can we go back?
- And I'll cut you off there.
- I love the mouthing along
with your fellow actors.
- Yeah they know everyone else's
line except for their own.
- [Sam] Except for their own.
A, line?
Amount of points for Ruha.
- Paparazzi for a middle
school English teacher.
- If we look here, what
Hamlet is trying to tell us.
- Ms. Jacobs, who are you wearing?
- Who are you wearing?
- Who are you wearing?
- Oh, this is a brooch with a
picture of my granddaughter.
- Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
- Her name is Allison
and she lives in Tampa.
- I'm sorry, is that your lunch?
(people laughing)
- Bag it, bag it, bag it.
- Do you have anything to say about
Abby and Leo's potential relationship
in your seventh grade English class?
- Well, these kids, you know,
they get they're in the age
where that's the only
thing on their minds,
but my job is to keep us
focused on the curriculum.
Now -
- What are your of on people
calling you by your first name?
Leanne?
- Leanne, when students call you Leanne?
- When are you gonna gimme
space to live my fucking life?
- I'll cut you off there.
That's how quickly celebrity toxifies us.
A K through 12 amount of
points for all three of you.
Our last prompt of the game.
The toxic ballet teacher's
students' final performance.
(people humming)
(Brennan screaming)
- Cindy, get up.
- Cindy get up.
- Cindy.
- I knew I gonna put my leg too high.
I could feel it snapped outta the joint.
Oh, it's dead.
I got dead leg.
Cindy, keep kicking.
(Brennan screaming)
- Cindy come on.
- Cindy come on.
- I will cut you off.
That brings us to the end of our game.
Our winner this evening is
Oscar Montoya!
(people cheering)
(upbeat music)
You are the recipient of the golden ear.
- Oh my gosh.
Can I make my three wishes now?
- That does it for us
here at Make Some Noise.
Tune in next time for
more of the game samer.
I am Sam Reich and that
sounds pretty good to me.
Good night.
(upbeat music)
---
- [Sam] Tonight, a background actor
that's too aware of the camera,
it's Brennan Lee Mulligan.
- Remember your mark.
Oh no.
No, no.
Why are you going right towards it?
Stop.
God, turn around.
Oh, I blew it.
Shit!
- [Sam] Dancing to YMCA in a silent disco,
it's Ruha Taslimi!
(people clapping and cheering)
And a toddler rushing
for their parents' leg,
it's Oscar Montoya.
(upbeat music)
(people cheering)
They're all here to.
- [Everyone] Make some noise!
(upbeat music)
- [Sam] Welcome to Make Some Noise,
the game so good, we
spun it off unchanged.
I am your host, Sam Reich,
and here's how the game works.
I have a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before.
Isn't that right players?
- Yes.
- Presumably.
- Yeah, sure.
No, I haven't.
- They will to the best of their ability
fulfill those prompts,
I will award them corresponding points,
and the winter will go home
with the coveted golden ear,
which grants three wishes
so long as those wishes
are for a golden ear.
Players are you ready to rumble?
(people saying "yes")
Brennan,
the ghost of St. Patrick's Day's Past.
(Brennan making wind noises)
(Brennan singing in faux-Irish)
- Right, Ebeneezer Scrooge...
(faux-Irish gibberish)
ah ya bastard man!
My name's Seamus O'Finnegan Ryan McPhee,
you must learn the true
meaning of Saint Patrick's Day,
and what this day was all about
when first the blessed Saint
came to the Emerald Isle.
Come with me Ebeneezer.
Here is the blessed Saint Patrick
driving the "snakes" out of Ireland.
He's murdering pagans, Ebeneezer Scrooge.
He's making the island right for the Lord,
the one true Lord, Jesus
Christ, Ebeneezer Scrooge,
and you learn to live
with him in your heart
or it's to perdition you'll be bound!
(Brennan singing in faux-Irish)
- And I'll cut you off there Brennan.
- There's one more ghost.
- Let's go to 1800s England and
there's some publisher like,
"Charlie, listen to me,
this Christmas Carol is
doing bang up numbers.
We could do an Easter Carol,
a St. Patrick's Carol."
- "Heck, even an Arbor Day."
- "Arbor Day!"
- A past, present, and future
amount of points for you.
- Oh, that's a lot.
- Ruha!
Welcome to the show.
- Thank you.
- What a treat!
Your prompt is "A Toxic Ballet Teacher
"Goes Over the Choreography Impatiently."
- Triggered.
- Where's my cane?
I know one of you took my cane,
and you think you're getting out of this,
but you're not because I have a foot.
Now, Cindy,
when I ask you to kick, I want the leg up,
I know we've been over
that I'm not allowed to grab you anymore,
(people laughing)
and if you don't want to be
a better dancer, then fine,
I won't, but I'm going to pound my foot
since I know you stole my cane, Cindy,
until you get that foot up, okay?
(Ruha stomping)
Get out!
- I will cut you off there, Ruha.
Brilliant, Ruha. A one
and a two and a three
and a four amount of points for you.
Very well done.
Oscar, welcome to the show as well.
- Hi, hi, hi, hi.
- [Sam] The first person to discover
that you can drink cow's milk.
- Dude, dude,
whoa, ask me what this is, man.
Ask me what this is, man.
Bartholomew, check it out, alright.
I was out at the farm
trying to get the cows in place, right?
'Cause we slaughter the cows to make beef,
you know what we do here,
but then I was like, wait a second.
What are these dangling
things coming out of this cow?
And then I was like,
you know what they sort of remind me of?
Mama's tatas, you know what I mean?
Sh, dude, I'm getting there man.
So I go in there and I say, okay,
this could be the best thing
or the worst thing that
could happen to me, right?
- I'm gonna cut you off there, Oscar.
- Straight up, no gamble, no gain, right?
You gotta give it a try.
You gotta give it a try.
Let's say a 2% amount of
points for you, Oscar.
Brennan, all the way back at you.
Brennan's Wario,
Wennan Wee Wulligan.
- Heh!
It's me, Wennan Wee Wulligan.
Goodbye
me?
What's the opposite of "hey gang"?
The important thing is this:
I hate Dungeons and Dragons.
My favorite tabletop roleplaying game is
Investing in Multinational Corporations,
a game I play from dawn till dusk.
I hate children and staying hydrated,
and I love to not tell stories about stuff
that happened at LARP Camp.
- I'll cut you off there.
- How was that for you, Brennan?
Channeling that?
- I felt that it was very on the nose
and sort of referential to myself,
but that sort of tactlessness
is exactly what Wennan
Wee Wulligan would do.
- [Ruha] Totally.
- There you have it.
- 10 GME option calls for you,
that's a little Robin Hood reference.
Ruha,
your great aunt has something to say
about everything in your junk drawer.
- Rubber bands, these don't stay good.
They get old, they break.
You can throw things away, Ruha.
No, yes, I know I was
helping myself to water,
but I could not help but see
this drawer in your kitchen
when I was looking for a cup.
Yes, I was looking for
a cup in your drawer.
They don't act so like oh
you're looking for a cup
in a drawer because wow,
almost everything is in this drawer
I could possibly imagine.
Just cash?
Just loose cash?
Anyone could come in.
What is this?
Just notes that say happy
birthday to your own cat?
Well, listen.
I, no, yes I am thirsty, but.
- I will cut you off there Ruha.
- Just picturing your aunt and you
like on opposite ends of
the house, screaming at you.
- Oscar, there is a world in which
this one is a little mischievous.
Oh, just so you think.
- The toxic ballet teacher's assistant
goes over the same choreography as before.
- Okay.
- Remember, kick.
- Again.
Remember, kick high.
Kick high.
Cindy I know what you did, okay.
You took the teacher's cane.
Okay?
So for you, I need that
arabesque up there, honey.
Higher.
Are you in pain?
Good, give me more.
Actually, that was quite impressive.
Fifth position now, four, three.
Everyone take a seat, Cindy stand center.
A 5, 6, 7, and guess what?
I also have feet.
(people laughing)
- I'll cut you off there Oscar.
- What am I holding?
I was holding something.
- Yeah like a notepad presumably.
- The whole page saying
"Ballet not good today.
Ballet good today."
- Ballet could be better today.
- A 16 count amount of points for you.
(upbeat music)
- That brings us to the mini game.
This is a mini game
called Wrong Answers Only.
Players, I'm gonna present
you with a category
and you give me some
corresponding make-em-ups.
The category is now that's
what I call fizzy drinks.
Players, I think you're aware
that in some parts of the
United States, we call it soda.
In other parts of the United
States, we call it pop.
I'm gonna present you with some locations,
you tell me what soda's
called in that location.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
Oscar.
- We call 'em crocodile tears.
- Crocodile tears!
Yes we do.
Brennan.
- Let's catch you a big
glass of daddy water.
- Ruha.
- Oh these are big boobies.
- [Sam] Booooobies.
I think this one is gonna go
to Brennan for daddy water.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Next up,
Manchester, United Kingdom.
Ruha.
- Fizzlety squirt.
- Oh no.
- A big old glass of fizzlety squirt.
- Brennan.
- Scrumpt drink.
- Oscar.
- The teeth decayer.
- Ooh.
The teeth decayer is very good, Oscar.
I think that one's gonna
have to go with you.
Next up, Sydney, Australia.
- Ruha.
- Koala juice.
(people laughing)
- It's the face.
It's the face that makes it for me.
- It's very delicious.
- Is it?
- Yah!
Doesn't look like it is.
(people laughing)
- Brennan.
- Milk.
- That's interesting.
- Oscar.
- Fizzy, fizzy, fizzy, oy, oy, oy.
- That's pretty good Oscar,
but I think this one's
gonna have to go with Ruha.
- For the face.
- Next up, Transylvania.
- Carbonated beverage.
(people laughing)
- Ruha.
- Dr. Acula Pepper.
(people "oh"-ing)
- I can't top that, but I
want to suck your bubbles.
(people laughing)
- This one's with Ruha as well.
That's good, that's good.
- Camelot.
- The holy gr-ale?
(people laughing)
- Ruha.
- Lance-a Sips A Lot.
(people gasping)
- Oscar.
- The lady in the soda.
(people laughing)
- You go out to see the lady in the lake,
and she's just floating way at the top.
"It's hard to get down near the bottom.
Please take the sword and go."
- "Take it, just take -"
(people chattering and laughing)
(upbeat music)
- That brings us to round two
where our players will
now test their talents
in teams of two.
Brennan.
Ruha.
The Germaphobe's Association's
Secret Handshake.
- Terry, it's amazing to see you.
I can't believe it's been a whole year.
(people vocalizing)
Bubble looks great.
(people laughing)
- I'll cut you off there.
I love a succinct little scene.
Sometimes it feels like
what we're doing up here
is we're making Far Side cartoons.
(people laughing)
Just perfect.
I don't wanna touch this calculator,
but this amount of points.
Ruha and Oscar.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hello.
- Two reindeer quietly
trash talking Santa.
- That was a great ride, boss!
- Yeah Santa, we love you!
- Prancer, the fuck?
(people laughing)
- I mean Dancer like, what was that?
- It was messy, it was sloppy,
it's the worst Christmas
in about 600 years.
- Yes, it was great.
- Sleigh, queen, sleigh!
- That landing on that
rooftop in Santa Monica.
- The way that, you know,
we were having like asides
and then like Blitzen got in it
and we were all having a Kiki
and then Santa's like, oh,
do your job, I was like, excuse me?
We are not your elves, honey.
We're not your--
Looking cute, Santa Claus.
- We love, you changed
into your little robe!
Your breaktime robe!
Yes, you deserve.
- You better work Santa, you better work,
'cause you don't at all at the workshop.
And Mrs. Claus, she ain't loyal.
- Are you kidding me?
- Yeah.
- I mean with a booty like that.
- Right?
He don't pay enough
attention to that booty.
- He's gonna lose her.
- He already lost.
- He already has.
(people laughing)
- I'll cut you off there.
Holy shit.
I want this animated show immediately.
- Yeah, a 12 days of
Christmas amount of points
for the two of you.
Oscar and Brennan, a
dramatic video game cut scene
transitions awkwardly into the gameplay.
- Mario.
- Luigi.
- I saw you cheating on
Princess Peach with Pauline.
- Luigi, what the fuck
do you want me to say?
- How dare you, man?
- You think things are so fucking simple.
- Hmm.
- You're so worried about
my relationship with Peach.
Why are you always thinking
about Peach so much, man?
- Because
I
loved her first.
- Fuck you, man.
- Fuck you.
I know what you're doing
putting the star liquified form,
drinking it, getting fucking
jazzed up every night.
- Maybe I am jazzed
'cause somebody forgot the
name on the fucking game.
- Oh,
but you forgot the most important part.
It's the Mario Brothers
man, the Mario Brothers.
- I've been waiting for
this a long fucking time.
You want to go you string
bean looking motherfucker?
- Let's fucking go.
(people beeping)
(people laughing)
- I'll cut you off there.
Smash Brothers would be
so much more interesting
if it began with scenes like that.
We just wanna know their motivations.
Galaxy or Odyssey about
points for the both of you.
Brennan and Ruha.
- Hello again.
- White water rapid tour
guides prepare their group
for the Bermuda Triangle.
- Okay, so this is gonna
be a bumpy ride everyone.
I hope you have all your safety vests on.
The white water rapids go fast.
- Guys so it's gonna
be pretty simple, okay?
When I call out left,
I want everyone on the left
side of that raft to go left.
When Tev calls out right,
I want everyone to hit
the paddle on the right,
and if we yell out straight up.
- Straight up.
- That means that we are
in the Bermuda triangle,
we're gonna shoot straight
up into the sky, okay.
- That's right, and if
Kev yells straight up
separate from me Tev that
means something else.
- Timelines have diverged, okay?
So that means that only I am
with one version of the raft
and only Tev is with the
other version of the raft.
- That's correct,
'cause we need to prepare you
for all the possible outcomes
that a Bermuda Triangle
situation could arise.
Some people may be asking
white water rapids,
we're nowhere near the Bermuda Triangle.
- Yeah, 'cause that's how
the Bermuda Triangle works.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, we're not geographically
near it so it can't find us.
- I will cut you off there.
- This is what "Lost" should have been.
- What "Lost" should have been.
- A Whirlpool amount of
points for the both of you.
Ruha and Oscar.
Questions your little
sibling insists on asking you
before you fall asleep.
- Hey Mark, are you asleep?
Mark?
- What is it, Ben?
- I have a question for you.
- Okay, yeah, what's up?
- Are you asleep?
- No, yeah, what is it?
- That's my question, are you asleep?
- Again, I did answer.
- 'Cause I'm not asleep,
and I was wondering if you were asleep
because if you go to
sleep, where do we go?
What happens to our bodies?
And it's 'cause I closed my
eyes, but like am I here?
- Okay, Ben, yeah, listen.
- Are you still asleep?
- No, I'm not asleep.
When we go to sleep, our
bodies stay right here.
- Okay.
- So we sleep and sometimes if you dream,
it feels like you're somewhere else.
- Yeah I have dreams where you're asleep
and I walk into your
room like I am doing now
and I ask, are you asleep?
And then you don't respond.
You're not asleep now, are you?
- I will cut you off there.
- This was me as a little
brother by the way to a T.
3:00 AM amount of points
for the two of you.
And last but not least in
this round, Oscar and Brennan,
The Great British Baking Show's
judges going down the line
on a technical challenge.
- Well, Mr. Paul Hollywood.
- Prue, shall we start here as
we do in every single episode
and I always announce it
like it's a brand new thing
that's going to happen?
- Hello, hi.
- Underproved, overworked,
the sugar's all over the side,
glaze running off the side,
marzipan coming out the bottom,
and there's a little,
little Lego man on the top
and this is a technical, so
they should all be identical.
- They should be exactly the same.
- Exactly the same so.
- Shall we Paul?
- Yes, let's.
Now I like the look of these,
the look of these I like.
There's cut through, see that's raw dough.
- I'm sorry.
- That's raw dough.
- What are you saying?
- It's raw.
- Raw?
- Raw dough.
I know I have a Yorkshire, but it's.
- Sorry, excuse us.
- I wouldn't eat that if I
were you. This is pure poison.
Sorry, Jeff Cameraman.
I think that we should stop
the technical challenge.
Find out who did this.
- But we've been doing
the technical challenge
for about 60 years.
- That's right, this show began
in 1962.
Now these are bananas,
there's a plate of bananas.
- They're not even tarts.
- They're not even tarts.
- I will cut you off there.
I like that we very briefly stepped into
the lore of the Great British Baking Show.
1.962 points for the two of you.
(upbeat music)
That brings us to our
second and final mini game.
Players, this is a game we
like to call Make It Sing.
We give you an object,
you make it sing for us.
Your sound is.
(dramatic alien music)
- If we give the aliens a cold.
- Oscar, you're up.
- This is a big deal.
- Yes it is.
- Cause I love theremins.
(theremin squealing)
- That's pretty darn good Oscar.
- I'll take it.
- Sounds like a grandma
groaning over a bad joke.
- Ruha, that is you up!
- Okay, great, thank you.
(instrument buzzing)
- I mean, Ruha,
I think that's a pretty,
pretty great attempt.
(people laughing)
- What the fuck?
- The force is strong with this one.
- Okay Brennan, top that.
- You have some context clues
now from your fellow players.
- I know.
(theremin squealing)
- Brennan looks like he's
throwing baseball signs.
- What the fuck does this
guy want me to pitch? Okay.
(theremin squealing)
- I guess you could use a finger
instead of the whole hand,
but it's less dramatic that way.
- That's what she said.
- Oh my god.
(theremin squealing)
- All right, I'll cut you off.
- I'm still learning!
- How did that feel?
- Yeah how was it?
- Playing a theremin?
- I don't know, like a strange alien power
had been given to me, but
on the one hand it felt like
there are things beyond mortal ken
to which we cannot claim knowledge,
but then also I was like,
how the hell would you do
hot cross buns on this?
(people laughing)
- Brennan if the goal was
whale song, great work,
but those points are gonna go to Ruha.
- Absolutely.
- I'm sorry.
I bought a theremin in my twenties.
(upbeat music)
- That brings us to round three
where our players will now hold hands
and jump into the abyss all together.
- Jumping.
- Are we doing this?
- Over the podium?
- We are ready to die.
- Metaphor.
- Oh.
- Host related patter.
- Oh.
- We would've done it.
- We came so close.
- Brennan, Ruha, Oscar,
the person with one line in the play
somehow manages to fuck it up.
- From dust we came and
to dust, we shall return,
and so the bitter pill,
we both must swallow.
If indeed the time has come
for us to meet as brothers
on the field of battle.
Do you now regret this
grudge at long last?
- Is it time for the tea?
- But pray for my servant
who has prepared the
tea with the bitter pill
that we must swallow? We don't
have to say what I'm saying.
We can just.
- Is the tea ready for our demise?
[Oscar whispering] The tea
is ready for our demise.
- The what?
Sorry, I'm sorry.
- The tea is ready for our demise.
- You want me to say it now?
- You should have said it five lines ago.
- Can we go back?
- And I'll cut you off there.
- I love the mouthing along
with your fellow actors.
- Yeah they know everyone else's
line except for their own.
- [Sam] Except for their own.
A, line?
Amount of points for Ruha.
- Paparazzi for a middle
school English teacher.
- If we look here, what
Hamlet is trying to tell us.
- Ms. Jacobs, who are you wearing?
- Who are you wearing?
- Who are you wearing?
- Oh, this is a brooch with a
picture of my granddaughter.
- Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous.
- Her name is Allison
and she lives in Tampa.
- I'm sorry, is that your lunch?
(people laughing)
- Bag it, bag it, bag it.
- Do you have anything to say about
Abby and Leo's potential relationship
in your seventh grade English class?
- Well, these kids, you know,
they get they're in the age
where that's the only
thing on their minds,
but my job is to keep us
focused on the curriculum.
Now -
- What are your of on people
calling you by your first name?
Leanne?
- Leanne, when students call you Leanne?
- When are you gonna gimme
space to live my fucking life?
- I'll cut you off there.
That's how quickly celebrity toxifies us.
A K through 12 amount of
points for all three of you.
Our last prompt of the game.
The toxic ballet teacher's
students' final performance.
(people humming)
(Brennan screaming)
- Cindy, get up.
- Cindy get up.
- Cindy.
- I knew I gonna put my leg too high.
I could feel it snapped outta the joint.
Oh, it's dead.
I got dead leg.
Cindy, keep kicking.
(Brennan screaming)
- Cindy come on.
- Cindy come on.
- I will cut you off.
That brings us to the end of our game.
Our winner this evening is
Oscar Montoya!
(people cheering)
(upbeat music)
You are the recipient of the golden ear.
- Oh my gosh.
Can I make my three wishes now?
- That does it for us
here at Make Some Noise.
Tune in next time for
more of the game samer.
I am Sam Reich and that
sounds pretty good to me.
Good night.
(upbeat music)