Legacies (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Screw Endgame - full transcript

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Legacies...
The monsters are back.

I have no idea how or why
or if it's gonna stop.

This was the only way
I could think of

to get you to see

Sebastian's not real!

Shut up!

You don't exist to me.

What did you say to Elizabeth?

Sebastian?

Go long!
Look, I know you say you're fine,

but you were stuck as a wolf
for a pretty long time.



Yeah, and I'm back now.
Thanks to Hope.

And the entire world
has forgotten that I exist.

And the boy I love has moved on.

Not yet, but soon.

I kind of blasted Lizzie
with enough

black magic to exorcise
an army out of her head.

Hope... Andrea...

Mikaelson.

What? It's official.

I remember everything.

When I woke up from that
spell Josie blasted me with,

you popped into my messed-up
brain like an acid flashback.

How? You are
literally the only person

on the planet who knows that I exist.
Epic former



frenemy reunion is
gonna have to wait.

We have bigger drama.

Josie and Landon are
having sex tonight.

What?

There's a decade dance.

Okay, well, that doesn't mean...

She asked me to find an excuse

to stay with my dad.

You have to stop it.

Speak your truth.

Spill your beans,
tell your tale.

Tell her?

Because I didn't want to be
the one to break her heart.

That's your job.

Ugh. Not a good time.

Mm.

Who the hell are you?

I'm the Keeper.

Ah. And this is gonna be a lot
easier than I thought.

Welcome to the game.

Well, that was... anticlimactic.

We have to get to the school
to protect Landon.

More like protect Josie
from Landon by warning her

she's about to have sex
with a human-sized muppet.

What just happened?

I think the game just started.

Hey.

Hey. Oh! What?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

Can you see him?

All I see is a dude

who can't respect boundaries.

I told you.
No one else can see me.

Oh.

Boy! MG.

You're trippin'.

Well... I know. I know, I know.

But Lizzie...
She-she met this new vampire.

Oh, yeah. Uh, Sebastian. Yeah.

She's been flapping her gums
about him all over school.

He isn't real.

So I thought Lizzie was

losing it, but now
I am seeing him.

So, either I'm hallucinating,
or this dude...

Whoa. What the...?

Would you stop touching me?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.

Hey. Hey, buddy.

Um...

ask him what he wants.

He wants us to find his body.

He says he's been desiccated
in a box somewhere.

He's a little vague
on specifics.

I am vague,

because, as aforementioned...

I am, uh, desiccated

in a box!

Oh, my God. I'm a pacifist.

But if you touch my hair
again, we will throw hands.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa.

Stop!

Sorry.

Please tell
your far more intelligent friend

that I have recently come
into contact with blood.

Just a... just enough to reach
that very limited mind of yours.

The blood was rancid.

You remember that nasty
blood fountain we moved?

All right,
everybody work together.

And Lizzie's gonna be here
any second.

And trust me, you do not want
to have only 98 red balloons.

What's so funny?

You said you and Josie were
getting pretty intense, right?

Yeah.

And it's a dance.

It's a dance. So?

She thinks it's gonna
happen tonight.

No, there's no way.

Dude, sex after a dance is so...
So, what?

Eighties?

Hey.

So, I talked to Lizzie,

and she's actually gonna stay
in town with my dad tonight.

Good. Yeah.

Just an FYI, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dude.

I'm cool.

Just... just a little jumpy.

You've been a little jumpy
a lot lately.

If all this stuff is too
much, you don't have to...

Exposure therapy. It's, uh...
it's supposed to be good for me.

Plus, I want to be able
to handle the dance tonight.

Yeah, in case Hope
happens to accept

the invitation you sent her?

Dude, how about you worry
about yourself tonight?

I am.

Okay, let's try this again.

So, since we're trapped here,
are we ever gonna talk about how

you came back from Malivore and
decided not to tell any of us?

Sorry. I'm a little busy
keeping us from being roadkill.

Projectium Deflecta.

That should protect us.

I don't think
we have magic here.

Or you just did the spell wrong.

How's that siphoning going?

Okay, fine. There's
obviously no magic.

And we're in some sort
of death maze from hell.

And...

Why is it the '80s?

Speaking of...

Frogger?

Acid wash is clearly your thing.

Right? You kind of
look fierce, too.

Thank you.

But now we got
to get out of here.

Oh. My hair is still wet.

Should have seen
that one coming.

Josie, may I make a suggestion
about the dance floor?

Aren't you supposed to be having

brunch with your father? Dad.

Hey, I'm sorry. Uh...
Principal Saltzman.

I'm afraid I must remind you

that you are prohibited
from being here.

By court order.

Relax, Fumbledore.

I cleared it with the sheriff.

I'm here as a
concerned parent, as

both my daughters recently
experienced a traumatic event.

The samurai and the Oni Demon?

Josie told me all about it.

I'm okay. Thank you
for checking in, but

everything's fine.

Mm-hmm. All right.

But what about Lizzie?

She was a no-show, too.

So, where is she?

She said she had
an errand to run.

Hmm. All right.

Well, I'm not going
anywhere until she gets back

and I know that she's okay, too.

We've never made it this far.

A land mine? Really?

What's wrong with this decade?

Reaganomics?
Recreational cocaine?

Jams? If only there was a secret

or-or a clue.

Unless you see a clue
store around here, Hope,

then I don't think...

Okay.

Oh, hey.

Looking for something?

Yeah. How do we get out of here?

And why are we in
our grandparents' decade?

Oh, yeah. Sorry.
It's the only decade I know.

Turns out
you miss a lot of pop culture

when guys
in black suits drop you

into a giant pit of goo.

As for getting out of
here goes, uh, you don't.

You play the game until my pet
feeds on you, and then you die.

For reals.

This game was
specifically designed

to kill beautiful maidens, so,

I'd say it's a pretty good fit.

Oh. So glad we stopped in.

Let's go.

There is, um...

one... way out.

One of you agrees
to take my place.

Look, I was trapped
here once, too, okay?

Just like you two, and I...

I don't really feel like being

the Keeper of the
Game, like, forever.

So, one of you agrees

to wear this bracelet,
you get to be

the new me.

And the other one is set free.

Thanks, but, uh, no thanks.

Actually, I'm afraid
there's no other option.

Yeah.

You take the deal,
or my pet kills you.

That's the endgame.

That's the endgame.

Speak of the devil.

Ah. I love this part.

Oh, my God!

Hurry, come on!

Okay, I think we lost him.

At least we finally made it out

of the lame town square,
no thanks to you,

Captain Almost-Stepped-on-the-
Land-Mine-Again.

You killed us with a hair dryer.

Never forget.

The school's up this way.

If only there were something
to talk about on the way.

Some burning question.

Some mysterious choice
that demanded an explanation.

Okay, fine.

I was gonna tell everyone
that I was back.

But then I saw Landon and Josie.

And how happy they were.

It just seemed like you all
were better off without me.

What is wrong with you?

Do you really have that much
of a martyr complex

that you couldn't just...
Oh, I don't know...

Ask one of us how we were doing?

Look, I know that it seems
kind of...

Dumb? Selfish?

Controlling?

Painful.

No one's been better off
without you.

Landon and Josie
are just filling a void

left by you and Penelope.

My dad is lonely.

Raf's a mess again,
and apparently

I'm hallucinating boyfriends.

If my broken mind
can remember you,

then maybe that spell Josie did

could bring everyone's
memories back.

You and Landon
are made for each other,

which is why
you need to tell him

and Josie before
they do the deed.

You hallucinated a boyfriend?

Tell you in a second.

Yeah, he's real, all right...

but damn.

Dude smells worse than that
blood fountain. Mm-hmm.

Oh, you're both weaklings.

Shut up. Your face
look like beef jerky.

Oh, is he here?

Tell him to talk to me.

Oh, as much
as I would love that,

in my diminished state,
I can only appear

to the fragile-minded...
like you.

Um, he... says

that you have to be on, like,

the same spiritual wavelength.

Oh, this is maddening.

The rancid blood
that you two turnips

bumbled on me was inadequate.

But with enough fresh blood,
I will surely be restored.

Yeah. No way we're doing that.

Doing what?

Not even if I can give you
what you want?

Hmm?

Elizabeth Saltzman
all to yourself.

Without my competition.

Come on, MG, what's he saying?

Hold on.

He's just getting
to the good part.

Set me free, Milton,

and I give you my word,

I will leave this town at once.

He wants for us to wake him up.

I know I'm forgetting something.

Uh-oh. Angst alert.

Landon's journaling.

Actually, Mr. Williams.

Um...

can I ask you
a personal question?

Emma and I
aren't dating anymore.

Okay? And, no.

I don't know
if she's coming back.

Actually, I was, um,

I was actually wondering
how you knew

you were ready to, um...

you know, um...

have sex...

f-for, like,

for, like, your first time.

First time?

Yeah.

Oh.

So you and Josie
are getting serious?

I really don't want to mess this up.
Gotcha.

Um...

All right, why don't you
take a seat, Landon.

Well, I think

that when you've found
the right person

that you want to take
that step with...

you just kinda know.

It's-it's, uh,
it's like a look, right?

It's this look and then...

you know.

Let me get this straight.

You don't know who
this vampire is

or how he got down there,

just that he's been desiccated

for some unknown reason,

and he wants
you two to wake him up.

Um... yeah. Y-Yeah.

That about...
That about covers it.

Uh, unless I'm missing something

I would say... let him rot.

I would say... let him rot.

We don't even know
what he's doing down there

in the first place.
Neither do I,

but it's safe to say
that no one is desiccated

for being too nice.

Okay, but that doesn't mean
he's guilty.

And even if he is,

what crime equals
that kind of time?

Hypothetically,

the slaughter
of a couple dozen villages.

You're awfully quiet
over there, MG.

Um...

I'm... I'm leaning
Kaleb's way on this one.

Vamps before... non-vamps.

That's not...

I know I'm not
in charge here anymore.

Now, if you want my vote,
I say don't do anything

till you know more
about this guy.

I-I respect that, Dr. Saltzman,

but he said he'll leave town.

We should at least give him
a shot to keep his word.

And I vote we hold tight
like Dr. S. said.

We, we figure out
what Sebastian really wants.

How are we gonna do that?

You leave that to me.

All right?

Thanks for the wisdom, man.

To be honest, I'm surprised
you'd even want my opinion.

You know,

after you guys voted me out.

Uh, look, uh...

confidential ballot and all...

I am the only one who voted
for you to stay.

I know you don't want
to think about this,

but the real world
isn't resetting

like this stupid one is,

which means we are
rapidly approaching

Josie's unexpected journey
there and back again.

Bear trap.

I'm not gonna
tell them about be.

Ugh. Why not?

Because it's not gonna
change anything.

Arrow.

Sorry!

Be more careful
next time, Frank.

It would change everything.

No, it won't.

When I saw that portal,
I knew that there

was only one way to stop
the monsters from coming.

I'm just gonna have to
jump back in and close it.

Everyone's just gonna
forget me all over again.

I was created to be the loophole
that ends Malivore.

It's the only reason I exist.

It's my destiny.

Run.

Come on.

The school should be
right through here.

Oh, hey.

Ready to take that deal yet?

I'm ready to take this
maze and shove it up your...

Maze? Oh, no, this isn't a maze.
It's a labyrinth.

Know the difference?

Do I look like a nerd? Hmm...

A maze has multiple paths,
a labyrinth only has one.

Exactly. As I said before,

there's only one way
this is going to end.

Granted, her legs are amazing,
but she is a royal bitch.

What are we gonna do?

We take the deal.

And I stay behind.

It has to be me.
I'll take her place

and then you can be set free.

See? Capital M-artyr complex,
Hope.

The Minotaur travels
with the Keeper, right?

So if I stay behind,
it'll be trapped with me.

And since the monsters
only come one at a time,

no other monsters ever will.

Besides, it's not like
anyone's gonna know I'm gone.

Except you.

No, I haven't seen Lizzie.

She's probably still out buying
her Jane Fonda leotard.

You voted for me to leave.

Why?

Because it's what you wanted.

Dad, you put it to a vote.

You knew that this place
shouldn't be run

by a human anymore,

but you couldn't bring yourself
to leave,

so you had us make that choice
for you.

That sounds like something
your mother would say.

She also said that your dream
was to create a place

where we could learn
to be ourselves, to be safe.

You've done that,

so now we have to move on to
the next chapter of our lives.

We have to learn
to do this without you.

Dad,

I voted you out so you could
have your own life.

Start dating.

Start letting us go,

because we're fine...

because of you.

Definitely that one.

Definitely that one.

Yeah?

I picked out an outfit
for you, too.

Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.

Rise and shine, brother vampire.

Talk to me like the rain,

and I will lie here and listen.

You're a poet.

Nah, that's Tennessee Williams,
bruh.

But tell me what I want to hear,

and there's more
where that came from.

What do you wish to know?

What kind of vamp you are.

The kind that rips rabbits...
or throats?

I am

a man who has made mistakes,

but if-if you revive me,

I will not make them again.

Great.

Then I'm not interested.

Isn't that what
you wanted to hear?

You know, this school's
already full of poseurs

denying their basic instincts.

I was hoping you were different.

Guess not.

I am in this state for the
very sin that you desire.

I fed on so many humans
back in my day

that it was no longer for
hunger, it was merely sport.

The cobblestones,
they ran red with blood.

Well, in that case...

I'll burn you after the party.

You deceived me.

Hi. Hi.

Uh...

you look amazing.

Thank you.

So do you.

Thank you.

Um...

Um...

Oh.

What did you get up to today?

Oh, you know,

little bit of this...

little bit of that.

Oh. Sorry.

Sorry, I... no, I'm sorry.

You?

Same.

You okay?

You seem... Yeah.

I was... with my dad.

It's fine now.

Oh.

Are you okay?

You just... you seem...

fidgety. No, no, I'm just, uh...

I'm just excited.

Landon.

You know that
we don't have to...

dance tonight
if you don't want to.

Really? Yeah.

Okay, cool.

We also totally don't have
to have sex tonight.

Um... In case your use

of dancing wasn't a metaphor.

It was. Okay, good.

You're special.

To be special.

That moment
we both look at each other...

and we both know.

That sounds nice.

Let's just enjoy the dance.

Yeah. Dance is that way.

I knew that. Right.

Hey.

I figured it out.

Sebastian's an O.G.

Cold-blooded killer.

For real? Yeah.

And I voted to let him out.

I... I wasn't thinking.

Oh, you were thinking,
all right.

About Lizzie Saltzman.

But this is more proof
that when you chase her,

you're not peak MG, you know?

I don't know
what to do with that.

Dance it off.

DJ, hit me.

Yeah, all right, all right...

you need to take
the deal, though.

I exist for one reason, too:

merge with my sister.

That's our destiny, right?

Unless...

I stayed here
in a no-magic zone.

Maybe the merge wouldn't
have to happen,

and Josie would be safe.

There's no way
I'm gonna let you do that.

I know.

But you're not the only one
who can be a martyr.

I knew you were the smart one.

Let's just get this over with.
Oh!

Don't worry, it's not
so bad being the Keeper.

And one day, maybe...

you'll find someone place.

I would never do that. Aw...

I told myself the
exact same thing.

Be careful with it.

It's fragile.

And if it breaks,

you are not protected
from the Minotaur anymore.

And my friend gets out, right?

She is set free from
the eternal pain

of the labyrinth, yes.

That was very carefully worded.

She dies, okay?

That's what that means. Uh...

either she dies or you both do.

It's self-preservation, kiddo.

You're sick.
You know, when I first took this deal,

the previous Keeper told me
that this entire labyrinth

was built by a sorcerer

centuries ago to punish
a beautiful maiden

who refused his affections.

Because she didn't
exist just for him,

he punished her forever.

But she got out.

She traded places with
another woman who came along,

who then trapped another woman,

and so on and so forth.

I mean, you can't really
blame us for trying to escape,

can you?

It's every woman for herself.

That's the game.

I guess no one is
the Keeper now.

I hope you know your maze
as well as we do.

Sorry.

"Labyrinth."

Whoa!

Hey, Raf!

Hey. Looks like
exposure therapy worked.

Depends. Uh,

did Hope show up? Not yet.

But she might show up still.

Hang in there. Okay? All right.

You look good.

Where did you get that?

Who's he?

This is Frank.

Thanks for your help. Thanks.

I thought
you were taking the deal.

I realized it would be
perpetuating the patriarchy.

There's always someone
telling women

they only exist for one reason.

We even told it to ourselves.

I am done playing that game.

Screw endgame.

You've... found another way.

You killed the Minotaur.

Thank you.

Not that you deserved it.

And you definitely
don't deserve this.

We've had enough of women
hurting other women for one day.

Do you maybe want to dance
somewhere else?

Only if that's a metaphor.

Hurry, we can still stop them.
Wait.

For what?

We have to let them go.

Are you sure?

Motus.

This doesn't even have sleeves.

Why is this

so hard to take off?

You sure you want to do this?

I've never been so sure
of anything in my life.

Do you have a condom?

I knew I forgot something.

Don't... stop, stop.

Do not move.

I'll be right back.

Wade!

Never mind.

Whatever.

So, your name's Wade, then?

Usually nobody gets it right.

Who are you?

Do you need, like, a camera

or something for the party?

No. No, no, no.

What I need, Wade, is...

a friend.

Yeah!

I don't get it.

We literally killed ourselves
to get back here,

and you couldn't go
through with it.

What you said before,

about destiny,

you were right.

You know, he and Josie,
they look happy together.

Maybe there isn't only one way
everything has to happen.

We don't exist
for just one path.

And we don't exist
for just one boy.

So let's dance.

Anything to keep me
from picturing

Josie's tragic visit
to the Shire.

Hey.

If you tell this to anyone,

I will deny it.

But I'm glad to have you back.

Mr. Williams,

sorry to interrupt.

All good, Landon.
Do you remember

what we talked about earlier?

You were right.

Then, boy, what the hell
are you doing here?

Uh, asking to borrow
your car keys.

'Cause I need to make a quick...

A real quick... run into town.

Run into town?

Oh.

In that case,

you don't want my car keys.

You want the keys
to the nurse's office.

You'll find what you're
looking for in her desk.

No.

Not now, you stupid rats.

I have been listening
to your tiny little rat claws

for months now...

Say hello to my little friend.

Hey. Um...

is everything okay?

Um...

would you be mad if I told you
that I wanted to wait?

No.

Not at all. I'm sorry.

I just, um... It doesn't matter.

Whatever it is,

if you're not ready for it,
neither am I.

We have all the time
in the world, Josie.

Nothing's gonna change that.

You want a cup of tea?

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey!

Hope?

Hey, Raf.

I was hoping to see you tonight.

Do you...

want to party with us?

Sure.

The witches are a little drunk.

You do realize

you go to the dopest school
of all time, right?

You should probably tell that

to the dude behind you
in the black coat.

Who are you talking about?

The one staring at you.

I must say, I'm surprised.

You're the last person
I expected

to invite me for a drink.

Have a seat.

I ordered you something
with an umbrella.

Look,

I want the school to succeed,

which means you have to succeed.

So, please,

So, please,

be better than I was.

That's a very low bar.

Is this the part
where you punch me in the face?

Only in my mind.

I'll stay out of your way.

But remember...

you're responsible
for people I love.

I'll drink to that.

Yes, please.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Where did you come from?

Oh, I've been here
the whole time.

I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be forward,

but I know your smell.

Uh, okay.

It's a stench, really,

a pit.

Malivore.

How do you know that name?

Ah, it's a long story.

Probably better
if I just show you.