Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny - full transcript

Po, the kids, and the new Panda Guardians must work together to defeat Jindiao once and for all, and get a visit from an unlikely source.

1x13 - End of the Dragon Master

We need to find Jindiao.

But we're not dragons.
We can't fly.

Who says we can't?

Remember what Bunnidharma said.

"The Spirit Realm doesn't follow
the rules of our world."

All right, Po,
time for ramming speed!

You need to learn
when to give up.

Full disclosure. I was
always a terrible student.



Killer plot twist!

How did you get
your hero chi back?

Long story. Gonna have to wait.

I'll distract Tall, Dark and Ugly.

You kids get your
Four Constellations on.

Let's put some
extra stank on this.

Whoo-doggy, that is some
ripe breath you got there.

Maybe it's time for a
little floss or a tasty mint?

Or some panda.


Pose for the pretty picture.

- That's not good, bubba.
- Let's go!

Hurry up!

Oh, great.

The freakin' dragon guy again!

Whoa! My Hero Chi.
It's back!

Oh, yeah, baby, it's on...

Is it too late to go
back to the Spirit Realm?

We're fine.
This is fine.

Because I've got a plan.

Surrender, Jindiao!

That was your plan?

Well, it was worth a shot.

Master Po!
What do we do?

Good old plan B.
We fight him.

Cut! Cut!

I gots me a hostage.

Listen here,
you giant leather handbag.

Get the heck outta my village.
Or your girl gets it.


- I'll do anything you say!
- Huh?

Mmm-hmm. That's what
I thought, you basic.

Oh, that's cold, man.

Did you really think
she meant anything to me?

Now, before I'm forced
to hurt anyone else,

perhaps a moment of reflection.

I'll go first.

I think we've all gotten
off on the wrong foot.

My friends, I am here,

not as an oppressor,
but as an ally.

I wish to return you pandas
to your rightful place,

as the Guardians of the Wellspring.
To rule by my side.

To live like royalty
in your ancestral homeland.

Untold riches. Security.

And all the food
you could ever eat.

No longer hiding.
Or living in fear.

You will reign over the land

as masters of your own destiny.

Imagine it.

Heaven and Earth
merging to become one.

It can happen.

All that can be yours,

once we've dealt
with one teensy little detail.

Well, this seems like a good time
to take a huge gulp of water.

All you must do to have
everything you've ever wanted

is turn the four panda
children over to me.

- What?!
- Why are villains so mean?

These children have always been
troublemakers and outsiders.

They've never truly been
a part of this village.

Surely, sacrificing the children
is a small price to pay

to make all your dreams come true.

Oh, come on!

Don't tell me you guys
are actually considering this!

What if we say no?

Simple. I wipe this
entire village off the map.

Folks, clearly, it would be
ridiculous and irresponsible

- to reject Jindiao's offer.
- Dad?

But the answer is no.

- Huh?
- Are you kidding me?

Really? I totally
would've taken that deal.

Your offer is
very generous, Jindiao,

but pandas don't need riches.

I'll take any riches they don't want.

We've already got
everything we need

right here in Panda Village.

Because pandas stick together.

If one panda's in trouble,
all of the pandas are in trouble.

So you can take your little deal

- and stick it up your...
- Nose holes.

You'd be so stupid
as to throw away your lives

to save these little delinquents?

Who said anything
about throwing our lives away?

We're gonna stomp
your scaly butt, pal!

You can't take these kids!

- You cannot win.
- Yes, we can.

We are pandas.
We are warriors.

And even though we forgot who
we truly were over the years,

we are the Guardians of the Wellspring.

Zhizhu, now!

Did somebody say Zhizhu?

Get me out of here! Now!

We've got to blast Jindiao now!
Where's the Spirit Urn?

I don't even know if we can do it.

This far from the Wellspring,
we'll never have enough chi power.

Oh, oh!
Maybe we can use the power

of the villagers the same
way we'd use the Wellspring!

I think it might actually be working!

And I think I just tinkled a
little in my burlap jean shorts!

Son! Don't you need
that, uh, Spirit Urn?

Cart attack!

Whoa, whoa. Whoa!

You guys gotta blast
Jindiao's soul out of his body.

I'll get the Urn.


Give me that!

Oh... gotcha!

But where's
the flippin' Spirit Urn?

Oh, no!



Got it!

And I'm the last one
that's ever gonna touch it.

Buh-bye, Spirit Urn!

Oh, no!


- Jade Tusk?
- You have to...

- stop Jindiao.
- Oh, right! Talk later!

Everyone, on my signal,
give it all ya got!



My goodness!


I have done horrible
things in Jindiao's name.

And now I realize
I meant nothing to him.

You saved my life.

After I almost destroyed yours.

We're pandas.
We help anybody who needs it.

that's how we do!

- Yeah, we're a real treat.
- You are welcome

to stay in Panda Village
for as long as you need to.

The world is lucky
to have heroes like you.

So, where do you go now?

I don't know.

I've been Jindiao's student
for as long as I can remember.

I must find out
who I am without him.

Sounds like somebody's in
the market for a new hobby.

Ooh, my Aunt Feng has found
composting to be quite rewarding.

For now, I must get back and make
sure my fellow monks are taken care of.

Perhaps with Jindiao
out of the picture,

the Poison Clan can be rebuilt.

Better, stronger, and kinder.

Did we do it, Master Po?
Is it over?

We still got one thing left to do.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we are here to honor the heroes
who saved Panda Village.

Let's give a big round
of applause to Nu Hai,

Bao, Jing and Fan Tong.

They're my son's students!
My son!

The Dragon Master.
Can you believe it?

- Did I mention that...
- Okay, Pops, wrap it up.

Yeah, wrap it up!
My sweet buns are getting soggy.

Without further ado,

hold on to your hats
and glasses, folks!

Here we go!


these are, uh, just placeholders.

The real, full-sized,

impressive statues
will be here a little later.

Uh, when we hire an artisan
to carve them from stone.

And also find a place
to get giant hunks of stone.

Oh, please!

Uh... who's hungry?

Wow. I would not want
to be that buffet right now.

Yeah, the whole village is
really going beast mode on that.

They're celebrating you.

Mmm. That's a fun
change of pace, huh?

- Good job, us.
- Yeah, whoo-hoo or whatever.

Hey, it's not every day

that you save the world
from a massive evil dragon god.

Don't forget that. 'Cause
that would've been a bummer.

I mean, if Jindiao, you know, had
enslaved the entire world in fire and fury.

Do you think he's really gone?

If Bunnidharma's incoherent
ramblings were accurate,

ol' J.D.'s not coming back
from where we sent him.

So I tell the Grand Inquisitor
I must return to my wife

before she has
fully risen from her cocoon.

Our neighbor, Ragnar,

has long coveted the sweet
perfume of her bile duct.

And he would like nothing more

than to bind her seven hooves

and claim her as his own.

Oh, I don't trust that Ragnar.

I'll tell you that.
Not one bit!

Hey, you wanna weigh in on this, roomie?

What I want is for
both of you to stop talking.

Forever. Ever. Ever.

Somebody got up on the wrong side

of the cursed mystical jar
this morning.

I need you to stop talking.

So, like, which side
of the bucket do you want to sleep on?

Also, I snore now.
Hope that's not a problem.

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, right!
My wife's bile duct.

There was a way that she...

The universe, once again

feels as though it is
in the proper balance.

Yes, Jindiao will suffer for his crimes.

And you can forgive yourself.

Not many receive second chances,

but you did an amazing thing with yours.

Thank you, my old friend.

Now, to more important matters.

What is it exactly that
we do all day up here?

Oh. We mostly bask
in the warm glow

of everlasting enlightenment,

dwelling blissfully in the eternal now.

And, you know, naps.

Ah, I think I could get used to this.

Son, your students
are looking pretty good.

Seems like you're a natural
at this teaching thing.

- Thanks, Dad.
- Yeah, and even if

you fail miserably
as a Kung Fu teacher,

you still have
the awful hours and bad pay

- of the noodle shop to fall back on.
- Uh... Thanks, Dad.

Anybody can do Kung Fu!

- Ouch!
- Dad! Are you okay?

Just a little broken skull.
It's nothing.

I like my vision
a little blurry like this.


Okay. Looking great, everybody.

You know, now seems like
as good a time as any

for an epic Dragon Master Pep Talk.

A D.M.P.T.

Something that puts everything
we've all been through

over the last few weeks
into perspective, you know?

Wraps it all up neatly. In a bow.

A thematic bow,
that just makes you go,

"Wow, I'm leaving this
experience deeply changed.

And in ways maybe I didn't expect."

See, kids, a wise sage once said...

Holy crap, it's a long way up here.

- What's going on, Grandma?
- You kiddos are hot stuff all over China.

Everybody's heard about what you
did and now they want your help.


There's a demon haunting an
ancient temple on Mount Cangyan.

We should go there, right?

Hey, sky pirates have hijacked
a dirigible full of gold.

- What's a dirigible?
- Who cares?

It's full of gold.
And there's pirates to beat up!

Ooh, I got a good one, too!

Seems this lady here
can't find her glasses.

I bet they're on the top of her head.

Is this how it's gonna
be now, Master Po?

It sure was for the Furious Five.
Welcome to being a hero.

Folks all over will be coming out
of the woodwork needing your help.

- So what do we do, Master Po?
- Um, we help them.

I'm so gonna be famous off of this.

Since we're gonna be in the public eye,
should I frost my tips?


Or start wearing guy-liner, maybe?
I don't know.

Just something to let everyone
know I'm the bad boy of the team.