Kongen befaler (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - Den ananasen, det stedet! - full transcript

"That pineapple, that place!"

Welcome to Drammen Theater
and Kongen Befaler.

Through five programs, five participants
have become five participants.

And five will probably also
be five after today's program.

But only one of them will
be left in the end to win-

-a bust of gold of me.

By my side, my faithful
vassal Olli Wermskog.

Thanks. It's an honor to be allowed
to rule your kingdom-

-in your absence.
-Fortunately, I am not absent.

You're right about that.
And the five rebellious peasants-

-who you have inspired,
watched, and restrained, are:



Jenny [Skavlan].

Egil [Hegerberg].

Trond [Fausa Aurvåg].

Erik [Follestad].

And Linn [Skåber].

The position after five programs
looks like this:

-No.
-No?

-I thought I was ahead of Jenny.
-How could you believe that?

-I don't know.
- You're the one I've met,

-who is best at kicking down.

You never kick up.
Now you have one under you.

Yes, but only one!
I want five that I can kick.

But it can go the other way,
right? Time will tell.

But we have no time to lose. We need
to get started with the program.



We take the first task.

For the first task, as usual, Atle,
you asked the participants-

-to bring one thing
in a given category.

What they have brought with them
is something they wash too rarely.

Yes, it's tempting, when you
look at what's in front of you, -

-there's one that stands out
a little from the others.

It almost looks a little scary, Egil.

I'll start with you. I'm so
curious about what you have.

-It's probably something we all ...
-No!

-It washes ...
-No!

I wash with it, but when
do you wash and how ...?

-Do you sit and splash around a bit?
-Is that real poop?

We can't put it in the dishwasher.
It would be disgusting.

-You shouldn't do that.
-You have to throw it away and buy a new one.

I usually take a bath with one.

You wash your back with it?
It fits well on the back.

Then it's disgusting when it gets dirty.

When you are in a hotel, it's
disgusting to use the toilet brush-

-that others have used. I don't
know what they've used it for.

-They may have had it in the bathroom.
-Do you have your own?

I have a small travel brush in my
toiletry bag. But a little shorter.

-Toothbrush?
-A middle brush between-

-toilet brush and toothbrush.

-Trond?
-I can say what I thought at first.

Yes? I was thinking of
bringing my kids' bath toys.

Because if you put oil in the water,
they get a little slippery.

But then my wife came up with a better idea.
To bring the drain, the shower drain.

-It's so disgusting.
-It's sexy.

Is it your drain? What we see there is the hair
of Lena Kristin Ellingsen. [Trond's wife]

People are willing to give it a try, I think.

It's a celebrity drain.

Then we move on to you.

Yes, there is one thing I wash too rarely.

-It's ... my jockstrap.
-Oi, jockstrap.

Yes, simply. There's a lot
of ball sweat here.

-Saw it...
-I got something in my throat.

Do you want to smell it?

May I ask, is it cast according
to individual crotches?

Yes, this is mine, and here it says senior.

-Senior!
-Do you have to cast the crotch, -

-or is it a general form?
-You can choose between 4 or 5, -

- based on how it's located.
So this one suits me.

That was more information than
we needed, but not Jenny.

Then we go to Linn.

I repeat that this is
what you wash too rarely.

As you can see, boys and
girls, if I take this away,

-then it's simply myself.

-You wash too seldom?
-I don't think so, -

-but there are others who think so.
-Including your boyfriend?

No, I think that ...

Looks like I work at Esso.

It does. But what you put in the pot, -

-is your body?
-Yes.

Ok. Erik thinks: Today I will win.

Because today it will
be a little Linn on me.

Yes, because it is to share and own.
We can't circumvent the rules here.

It's getting tough.
But I'll try to win.

-Jenny!
-This is a top-

-made of my placenta.

It's absolutely true. That sounds weird.
I did an experiment-

-in the "Undressed" program,
where I took with me ...

First I gave birth, and got the placenta
out, and then I took it to a lab-

-that makes the textiles of the future.

They took protein from my placenta
and then colored this top.

Why do you wash it so rarely?

Because then my placenta disappears!
This blue is really the placenta, -

-redone as a dye.

My placenta is the blue
that lies on the outside.

-It responds to heat.
-So you can't use it?

-I can't wash it.
-Don't use it either, then.

I have used it often but not washed it.

Let's see. It is impossible to give points.
It is between 100 and zero.

But today you will not win.
You don't want to win Erik's ball sweat-

-Egil's poop, Trond's hair, and Linn.

-Dirty ...
-Give me zero points, Atle.

-Yes!
-No, I have to make sure.

I can't give you zero points.

We give you three points, Jenny.

Because then we get rid
of that problem. You others.

Trond, two celebrities in the same
family don't help. You get one point.

-One point?
-Sorry.

-You get two, Egil.
-I'm very happy.

Erik, you get four for your jockstrap.
Are there more left?

-Me!
-Yes, there are more left.

You get five points.
I don't understand why.

Linn is the only one who hasn't
brought anything with her.

She hasn't brought a thing,
and then she gets five points!

I agree. That's completely unreasonable.

-You are so manipulative!
-I so agree with you.

I take the criticism against you.
You can't beat that there.

You have to lend the jockstrap to Erik.
She has such a ball grip on you.

On me?

Olli, can you show me something
I didn't think was possible?

Can you say another thing
I didn't think was possible?

Yes, what about a task
I know all the participants hate?

-Is it possible?
-Yes, it's possible. Let's see.

-Oh!
-A car.

"Convince Atle ..."

"Convince Atle that this car
is going to backwards land."

No explanation either.

You have to convince Atle that
the car goes to backwards land.

Yes. Now?

Yes.

-Where is Atle?
-No, when Atle sees it in the studio.

There you go.

Are you drunk at work?

Possibly.

It was a completely
incomprehensible task.

Here you were drunk.

Yes, it's possible.
The time was 12:15.

-On that day? That's probably true.
-Yes.

A very strange task.
It looked so gentle and sweet.

There was something about toys,
but so difficult to understand.

Do you think that being
weird will help you?

-Do you have a good feeling?
-A very good feeling.

I can remind you at home
of what is going to happen.

The participants must convince Atle
the car is going to backwards land.

Yes.

I have a little feeling-

-that I'll have to add
a little goodwill -

- when I eventually
must judge the results.

-Is that correct?
-It's absolutely right. Let's see.

Do you know what annoys
me the most now?

It really irritates me if Erik
Follestad does something good now.

Welcome to backwards land.
This is a brand new house.

As you build old. Do you understand?

Because it goes backwards.
Do you understand?

A car that stands still
is not a car, but a house.

Do you know what's special about
the houses in backwards land?

-They have wheels!
-Atle.

Do you know where this car is going?

It doesn't go to any ordinary
place, so to speak.

Hello? Yes, it's Erik.

Norway's finest city, yes?
Skien, yes.

Norway's ugliest man? Me?

In backwards land,
everything ... depends

And do you know what you want?

You build a car out of cardboard
which always stands still

And the houses they roll around
in streets new and down

With engines in his basement
And hey where is that going to happen

In backwards land
everything works

There they make small cars
that cannot drive one bit

Straight route to backwards land.

Stay tuned now.
It's not moving forward.

This car goes that way.
To backwards land. Goodbye!

No. Welcome! I did well.

These were bad things.

It's absolutely cruel.
But it's bad for Egil.

For Egil, in addition
to making it so shitty, -

-he entertains children.

I like: "It's bad for me, but
think how awful Egil must be!"

-But I was very happy.
-I'm surprised at you, Egil.

-For me, you were born in backwards land.
-I was very happy.

I took the car and solved
the task as quickly as possible.

"I will not deal with this any more."

What was surprising was that
you did about as expected.

But it was surprising that
you were better than these two.

He comes straight
from the hockey field.

He's been a carpenter, and he's
sweeping the floor with you both.

That says a bit. He's definitely
not going to win, -

-but it's better than you.
You are professionals!

Yes, but now I'm excited
about Jenny and Trond.

They sit and look so happy.

I like that you shift the
focus to them. We have two more.

They are possibly a little
more convincing. I hope so.

Time to watch Jenny and Trond-

- who might be able to take us
on a longer journey.

I think it's a shitty task.

If this car belongs to
the land of backwards, -

-will this car drive backwards
at a red light?

I don't know if you noticed it.
The clothes are backwards.

Even the underpants.
I've made a little note-

- where it says: "Here I come"
backwards, give me a toot-toot.

EmocIereh, Toot-toot!"

Toot-toot! Here I come!

Oh, may well do this, then.

National border.

Backwards land.

And then I thought that in backwards land
there is a status symbol with brooms.

If you are someone who excels.
Then you stand here.

EmocIereh. Toot-toot!

This is also a status symbol in
backwards land. Pipes, for example.

Such insulation things.

And all men are pregnant
in backwards land.

So I thought I'd stuff this up ...

Place elastic in the face.

Because it should be very good
for the skin in backwards land.

Now it's red! Now I'm driving.

EmocIereh! Toot-toot!

Toot-toot! EmocIereh!

Toot-toot! I'm pretty happy.

No, that's not how they
look in backwards land.

In backwards land, they wear
hats on their legs.

Then I just do it in
the most obvious way.

Now I have crossed the border,
so now the car is in backwards land.

And look at him. He thinks he's a big
shot with a broom and ventilation pipes.

Damn, I'm sick of looking at you.

He's pregnant, too.

Great.

-Goodbye.
-Goodbye!

-It was good.
-Thanks!

Good effort. You managed
to get out of the house.

This is actually a job, you guys.

-We get paid to be here.
-You do?

Yes, and bothering to move
out of the room, Linn!

You didn't bother to take the
car down from the desk once.

-You should let her be.
-But it's so nice.

-You got out of it pretty well.
-Yes, it went well.

-Very charming to see you out there.
-Yes, it was fun!

And then I met two girlfriends
from high school.

I heard rumors about that.
What happened?

They got off the subway,
saw me, and greeted.

They didn't see the cameras,
but they did see me.

I'm curious if they later think:

"I saw Jenny at Vindernkrysset.
Wondering if it's not going well?"

You've lost it a little.

-In a cardboard car with clothes backwards.
-"Doesn't get out enough. Toot-toot!"

The Kneipp slippers are all that is missing.

You did very well, but not the best.

Trond did fantastically well.
You created your own community-

-with its own border,
own costumes, and values.

Not least, it went beyond Olli.

-Do you like it?
-It's warming me.

But it's second best to you, Jenny.

You get four, and you
get five points, Trond.

-Then there's the rest.
-Nice.

-Linn.
-I can sign up at the bottom.

Of course you are at the bottom.
But how far down?

But you get one point.
Egil gets two, and Erik three.

-So, everyone's happy?
-Yes, very.

Then the position is like this so far.

Olli, now you have to
choose the next task.

-Yeah, thank you.
-But first a little advertising break.

Olli, you will have to
choose the next task.

Geez. Thank you.

Then I choose a task that
has the things of life itself.

Then you think of eggs,
tape, and marshmallows.

-No, I'm not thinking about that.
-Sure.

Then we'll look at it.

Well yes, finally!
Finally something edible.

-Exciting.
-What?

It looks exciting.

"Get this egg ..."

Get this egg as high
as you can in 10 minutes.

If the egg is broken, you are
disqualified. Time starts now."

-Disappointed?
-No. But you can think a little.

-Stand and think a little.
-Absolutely.

Is that what you call it?

-Eating?
-Yes.

Jenny, you lose your
temper right away.

-Why?
-What did you have against this?

I thought that here we would build.
I have tried to build with spaghetti-

-and marshmallows like that before.
It's a shitty task. I hate it.

But I'm not sure I did.
I might get the courage again.

-Could it be that you did it?
-I'm not sure.

Then we look at Linn, Jenny, and Egil.

It doesn't say that I have
to use these things.

"As high as possible above the table."

Linn would stand on the table and
hold the egg against the ceiling.

We put it that way. Like that!

-Yes.
-Jenny Skavlan.

She has enough, it's a wild
guess on my part ...

She may have been standing on the table
holding the egg up to the ceiling.

Like that.

I don't think I see any other
solution than to climb on the table.

And then hold the egg up to the ceiling.

That's how high I got.

No one else has done this.

I want to apologize for bringing this gang.

No, but this was ...
What shall we say, then?

Creative?

-Do you want to know the height, Linn?
-Yes.

You hung the egg at the
bottom of a rubber band.

It gives you one meter and
42 cm above the table.

While Egil chose to keep the egg
completely glued to the ceiling.

One meter and 63 centimeters.

While Jenny puts it under the
cloth, not quite up to, -

-one meter and 61 centimeters.
-Two cm worse than Egil.

Is there a better or
different way to do this?

Is 1.63 meters the highest you can get?

We may get the answer now. Here come
the grunts Erik and Trond-

-in a small feature we have chosen
to call "Erik and Trond".

Now I have to think a little.
Now I'll use my head a little.

You're welcome.

If I...

Right? Is it getting dumber
than this? It does not.

I'm trying. Then we'll see.

There are always some tricks.

Or is there a basement here?

If you help me move that table down, -

-so it's quite high above the table.

-Yes.
-The egg is high above the table.

Or if I lift the table down?

-Yes, that's okay.
-Then we have to remove this first.

We'll take it outside.

I was not stupid now, so to speak.

Like that.

Should we say we are happy with this?

The egg is quite high above the table now.

-Yes, it's a long way up there.
-I really think-

- we will collect this victory.
-Four minutes left.

Is there a loft here?
There I have won.

Like that.

-Look here, yes.
-Yes.

I must say, I saw that it was
you first on the roof there.

Eventually it was, "Is that Tom Cruise?"

-I liked that music.
-It probably helped a little.

Because it was an egg.

I feel the part with "over the table"
is very important. "Over the table".

Where was the table?

-I put it down in the courtyard.
-In the parking lot?

-And where was the egg?
-On the roof. Over the table.

-But not right over?
-No, not directly over.

-She has a point.
-But it's over the table.

If I'm high up here,
I'm not over Egil.

-But now I'm over Egil.
-Now you are over Egil!

This is not over me.

If a mountain is 2500 meters
above sea level, -

-is it then over the sea?
-Yes, of course.

Now you turned out. Galdhøpiggen [Norway's
tallest peak] doesn't have an ocean beneath it.

-No, but...
-Not directly below.

It's fun to discuss
the rules when I decide.

-What do you decide?
-It's approved. Over the table.

But then we can see in meters.
It's obvious who wins, -

-but Erik got the egg 8 meters
and 93 cm above the table.

And Trond, 12 meters and 63 cm!
Congratulations!

Trond takes five points
ahead of Erik.

Egil gets three. Jenny gets two,
and Linn ends up last.

-Yes.
-There will be one point.

Now I really want to see a task
where it gets completely dark.

Absolutely completely dark.
Dark, sort of.

-Physically or mentally?
-Physically, of course.

Mentally, it has been dark
here for a very long time.

-We've had more than enough of that.
-Here it comes.

So, you've put out some bottles?

What? Should I ... Where is
the task? There, yes.

"Hang Atle's favorite painting on
this hook without leaving the room."

"You cannot open doors or curtains."

"Fastest time wins, but you get 10 seconds
for each bottle that overturns."

What?

But I don't understand
what is difficult about it.

Participants must pick up
Atle's favorite painting-

-and hang it on the hook.

Fastest wins, but they get 10 seconds
every time a bottle overturns.

And you can confirm that the
room became completely dark?

-Dark as your soul?
-Our future after this.

We can start by looking at
how Erik solved the task.

There? And then it's just to ...

Ok.

No.

This was terribly annoying,
because I'm a distracted bastard.

-Yes.
-Damn it, then.

Now we're over here.

Here's the picture. Time is running.

Time flies.

It was there and...

-What do you think about the task?
-It's shitty.

That's shit ... Damn!
It's a shitty task.

Fuck!

Here.

-Like that.
-Yes.

It is the world's most annoying task.

-Yes.
-What else should I have done?

There is no other way to do it.

It's a fireplace.
There are fireplaces and matches.

There are a lot of matches.
Then it was badly solved.

All right. Lovely.

It's not wonderful.

-It's not wonderful.
-No.

It was not just dark in the room.
There the curtain went down.

It was annoying.

-How many bottles did you tip?
-Probably 20.

16. Not too far away.
You spent 2 minutes and 54 seconds.

Plus 10 seconds per bottle, so it's
five minutes and 34 seconds.

Whether it's good or bad, one
doesn't know without comparing.

Now we'll look at Egil,
Linn, and Jenny.

I don't understand the task. Oh!

No! It's a crisis.

I need to get a lighter.
That's a little clever.

Is there a fireplace in here?

Let's see. That went well.

It's so dark. I've never been
in such a dark room before.

I don't know where I am.

-Have you been standing there all along, Olli?
-Yes.

You have a candle ...
Can I borrow it?

Borrow it, yes.

-Do you have a lighter?
-No.

Oh God! I've found matches!
I've found matches, Olli!

-Can you talk a little, Olli?
-Yes.

-Have you changed position?
-No, I'm in the same place.

-I think I'm going through your legs.
-Yes, I'm just going here.

Oi, there was a bottle.

-I found matches! Oh my God!
-Look there, yes.

Oh, this was nice.

I found matches.

I'll try to remember
where the painting was.

Finds and does not find.
I've lost a bit of the feeling of-

-where I'm really in the room.

Yes. Like that.

-Just say hello again.
-Hi hi.

-You're moving.
-No.

But why is there a rock here? I haven't
seen that there is a rock here.

-Hi. And there's your back.
-Yes.

-And the picture hung behind you.
-Yes.

There we have the couch.
Then this is the painting.

-Did you find it?
-Yes. Are there things?

-Here is the picture, I think.
-Yes.

Now I give a damn about those bottles.

Like that. Hi hi.

Then I seem to remember that there
were some bottles in front of there.

There, among other things. And that one.
And then there it was.

It may be that I should have
chosen a strategy where I-

-was faster, like that
in the first place.

Let's see. Here's the hook.

-There it hangs.
-Now it hangs, yes.

Now it hangs. No, I'm lying.

-You're lying? It's okay.
-Yes.

-Hanger!
-Then I stop time.

-Yes.
-Look here, yes.

That's the worst I've seen, Egil.

I liked that you and Linn
had chosen the same tactic, -

-which was about trying to avoid
bottles and spend a long time on it.

When you finally find the picture,
you hurry and overturn all the bottles.

Then it's better to shovel
both ways first.

As they say on Celebrity Farm [reality
TV show], you have cut me very badly.

We have cut you to a
completely different person.

Jenny, four minutes and four seconds.
You overturned six bottles.

-It was enough.
-It's one more minute.

Five minutes and four seconds.
In total, Egil, you spent 12 minutes-

-and 31 seconds. With the bottles.
-No more?

But it's still better than Linn.
12 minutes and 57 seconds.

I beat you, Egil.

It can't get much worse, but I'm
excited about what Trond does-

-when he goes into a dark room
full of glass bottles.

First we take a short break.

Now we are anxiously waiting
to see what the gazelle Trond does-

-when he sneaks through a dark room.
What does your gut feeling say?

I have a very good gut feeling,
although it was almost a bit of cheating.

-Cheating?
-I asked if it was okay.

We can see that, so you can discuss it
afterwards. We're looking at Trond.

Well, that ... There, yes.

Ok.

-Is this a bit of a cheat, or?
-Absolutely not.

-Good thing you had a phone.
-It was luck.

It's almost a bit ...

That was it? Or?

That was it.

It was not worse.

There were zero overturned bottles.
In other words, 48 ​​seconds.

Trond takes five points, followed
by Jenny, Erik, Egil, and Linn.

Yes. In total today,
the position looks like this.

When it's as close as this,
it's exciting.

There's one more task. And it's
going to happen here on stage.

Get in place!

We are ready for today's last task.
Egil, what do you have in your hand?

-A letter.
-Can you read it?

"Hide a fruit on your body.
You get points based on the fruit.

If you manage to hide the fruit from Atle,
we will double the points for the fruit."

You should choose a fruit
from one to five points.

The smallest is one point,
and the largest is five.

You must hide it on your body.
If you can you hide it from Atle, -

-you get 10 times the points. If
Atle manages to guess where it is, -

- you just get the points
the fruit gives.

We start with the one who is worst off -

-so far today.
Wasn't that you, Linn?

It was me. It must be changed
after this task.

Yes, so great. You're welcome.
You can choose which fruit you want.

Exciting.

-Where are the cameras?
-All over the place.

I put it up my arm.

They film from behind.

It doesn't sit properly under the arm.
Can I have it attached?

-Hang on, yes.
-Now there will be strips?

-Are you ready?
-Yes.

This sounds very exciting.

Yes.

Can you move both arms
down along your side?

Yes, I can.

Yes, now you have to turn around.
Turn around in a small pirouette.

I reckon you're kidding,
but I have no better suggestions.

I guess you have it under the
right arm, since you want it.

Right arm? That's wrong.
Want to know where I have it?

-In the crotch. Melon.
-Right. Melon?

I took the coldest fruit.
Can I take it out?

-Since you ask, no, you cannot.
-Then I'll just put it back.

All right.

Good work. Then those points
are multiplied by 10. Egil?

-Then it's you.
-It's me, yes.

Let's see.

-Can you turn around?
-No.

Ok. Turn around.

This is so incredibly stupid.

That's probably stupid, yes.

I guess you have it on your stomach.

Now I'll show you where I had it.

Yes, look there. You went for a grape.

You're a tactical genius, Egil.
That multiplies the points by 10.

10 times those points. Gorgeous.

Jenny, your turn.

I forgive myself for not guessing.

-It's not tactically ingenious.
-No. We'll see, then.

Yes, we'll see how
it goes with the others.

-No.
-Yes, yes.

Damn.

What is it now?

This is...

It's scary.

But it's scary.

Yes, here comes Jenny.

You have something on your shoulder.

-Yes.
-Yes.

-You don't see it.
-I guess your right shoulder.

At the right shoulder blade.
Was that correct?

-This sock.
-You fooled me.

And then I put a pineapple ...

-You are a competitive person.
-Now it was a loss or a win.

There were some points for that.

-I'll keep it.
-You can.

-Erik, then it's your turn.
-Yes.

This...

I think you're good.
I'm not done yet.

It's very boring on
this side of the partition.

When I hear how much fun you have,
I feel like I'm missing something.

It's a bit of a rig you hold on to me.

Here he comes.

What is it...?

Turn around.

Can you jump a little?

Can you take your arms out?

Yes, that's the thing with those arms.

I just have to guess something.

Penis. I have not dared to
guess the crotch on the women, -

-so then I go all in on you.

This is mine.

Yes, ok. I'm sorry.

-Congratulations, I mean.
-No you're not.

No.

Great! Now I thought I had
completely lost my grip.

Then yours is not multiplied by 10.
But we have one left, Trond.

-You can go for the one that is lying there.
-Yes.

I think I know what you're doing.

Here...

Hey man. Hello.

How are you doin, man?
What's up, bro?

Turn around. Can you jump?

Higher.

Can you flutter your arms?

I can do what ...

In your pocket.

-Which pocket?
-One of them. That one.

-No, it wasn't there, you know.
-No.

It's here. It was really the
only place you couldn't say.

-You have it in that pocket.
-I have it in the crotch.

You have it all over your body?
Except in that pocket?

It is historically poorly guessed.

But then everyone has been through.
Most did surprisingly well.

-I figured.
-You figured, too?

Then we hand out the points
when we sit down in the seats.

Yes, the points are
simple and straightforward.

You revealed yourself
with the banana.

Yes, I did.

So you get the bottom.
Egil, you chose grapes in shoes.

There was one point for grapes,
so you multiply those by 10.

-Yes, one times 10 is 10.
-You don't get 10 points for the task.

But it is second to bottom.
Then there is Trond in third place.

-Linn, you came in a great second place.
-Great.

Jenny got a perfectly good
first place. Congratulations.

It's the least I can do with
that pineapple, that place.

You deserve the victory in this task.

This means that today
the winner is Trond!

He runs away with the prizes.
Get up here and enjoy the prizes.

These are things that
are washed too rarely.

Linn, get up. You are part of the prize.

That was what we managed for today.
We're back with more. Thanks for tonight.