Kim Possible (2002–2007): Season 1, Episode 3 - The New Ron - full transcript

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No! Even for Francois,
it is too much.

You can do it, Francois.

You are right, Kim Possible.

I must try.

My tools!

KP., are you sure
about this?

Ron, Francois
is an artist.

Getting him to make
a house call

is, like, epic.

Oh, but I could not visit
the States

and not help Kim Possible.



After what you did
for my poodle-- oh, please!

It is my pleasure.

Those dog-nappers had it coming.

Kimmy, why is Ron
getting a haircut
in our kitchen?

Uh, because he ferociously
needs one?

Oh, I don't know.

I do.

I know what's best for Ron,
even if he doesn't.

So, Ronald,
your old barber

he was, um...

I would say somewhat
vision-impaired, yes?

No, he could see shapes--
kind of.

Oh!

He's really taking
a lot off.



He'll thank me, Mom.

It's no big.

( chuckles )

Ze finale!

A pea-sized dollop
of Le Goop.

As I say,
the secret is in the sea urchin.

( whistles )

Oh!

( yells )

( mid-tempo rock intro )

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I'm your basic average girl ♪

♪ And I'm here
to save the world ♪

♪ You can't stop me
'cause I'm ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

Oh!

♪ There is nothing I can't do ♪

♪ When danger calls,
just know that I am on my way ♪

♪ Know that I am on my way ♪

♪ It doesn't matter where
or when there's trouble ♪

♪ If you just call my name ♪

♪ Kim Possible ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ When you want to page me,
it's okay ♪

♪ Whenever you need me, baby ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

♪ Call me, beep me
if you want to reach me ♪

Kim!

♪ Doesn't matter where,
doesn't matter when ♪

♪ Doesn't matter when ♪

♪ I will be there for you
till the very end ♪

♪ Danger or trouble,
I'm there on the double ♪

♪ You know that you always
can call Kim Possible. ♪

I'm telling you

it was a change for the better,
Ron, trust me.

Don't play me, Kim.

Just come out.

Oh, that's much less
embarrassing than a new haircut.

By making me get
the foofy haircut

you disrupted my core...

my identity,
my essential Ron-ness.

"Ron-ness"?

Yeah.

That easygoing, devil-may-care
attitude that makes me...

uh, an easygoing,
devil-may-care guy.

Right, Rufus?

( chatters )

I had no idea
there was so much to you, Ron.

I'm sorry.

I guess there's only
one thing I can do.

New haircut!

( yells )
Unstoppable got

a new haircut!

Give it, Kim!

Seniors!

Um, hi.

Do I know you?

Uh, I-I'm Stop Ronimal.

Ron Stoppable.

That's a very, very cool
haircut, Ron Stoppable.

Thanks.

I'll see you later.

Maybe. I mean,
I mean, sure, yeah, later.

This haircut rocks!
Stadium rocks!

Oh, no.

Kim.

Kim!

Ron.
Where have you been all day?

Please tell me this haircut
comes with a warranty.

What happened?
Cowlick.

Ai-yah!

Rufus.

Oh, it'll
flatten out

when your hair
gets longer.

That's one scenario.

Here's another.

We go to France, find Francois,
get more Le Goop.

Ron, are you suggesting
that I call in a favor

so you can go to France
for hair gel?

Uh, oui.

Thanks for the ride.

Oh, Kim, believe me

it's the least we can do

after your help
during that blizzard.

We never would have
seen that runway

without your
quick thinking.

Oh, anybody could have made
a high-powered signaling system

out of things found
in the airport gift shop.

That was some
emergency, huh?

Well, got to go; bye.

Hey, cool haircut.

Too bad about that cowlick.

So, you're saying

I need a new wardrobe

to take the hair
to the next level.

Oh, without question, Ronald.

The hair, the clothes...

( chuckling )

...they must harmonize.

Done and done,
Francois. Merci.

( gasping )

Bonjour.

( shrieking )

Have these people
never seen hair before?

Somebody's tweaked.

I am not tweaked.

You reek tweak.

( giggling ):
Bonjour.

Okay, yes, and do you know why?

Because I find it very...

Yeah, baby, that's
what I'm talking about.

I find it very annoying

that hair care
products

have become the center
of the universe.

Hair care products
have always been

the center of
the universe.

I just found out
about it recently.

Ugh!

( electrical buzzing )

Hmm.

Huh?
Huh?

That's weird.

Yeah, it is.

I'm calling Wade.

Hey, Kim, how's Ron?

Tell him I could really go
for some lasagna.

How about
stopping by Italy for me?

Was that a shot?

Paris is blacked out,
Wade.

What's the sitch?

Let me scan the news sites.

Wow! It's not just Paris.

Rolling blackouts
all over Europe.

Can you patch the communicator
into the European grid?

Done.

Great. And we'll need
some transportation.

No problem.

I've done some consulting work
for a French aeronautics firm.

They'll help out.

This cannot be safe.

Uh, Wade, I'm kind of
with Ron on this one.

Don't be babies.

The pilot-less drone chopper
is awesome.

The military uses it

for missions too risky
for human beings.

I've traced the drain
to eight degrees one minute west

46 degrees north.

But my map
shows nothing out there.

( squeaking )

"Nothing" left
its lights on.

Wade, take us down.

Gently.

Whoa!

That's a

really big
lightbulb.

No wonder there's
no power in Europe.

( gasping )

( grunting )

Uh, hello.

Father! I see people!

They must be the new servants.

Very good, very good.

You have brought
more lightbulbs?

Did you bring
lightbulbs?

I'm Kim Possible,
and this is Ron Stoppable.

Ah-- welcome,
welcome to my home.

We have only
just turned everything on.

I am Señor Senior, Sr.

and this is my son,
Señor Senior, Jr.

Your haircut, it is very nice.

I use Le Goop.

As do I.

But your clothes,
they do not harmonize.

I know; I'm all
over it, dude.

I was just going
to take a quick ski

down my indoor mountain.

Care to join me?

No, thank you, Señor...

Señor Senior.

Some refreshment, perhaps?

Oh, I have some lovely juice.

Quite amazing, really.

It comes in a box.

A juice box
would be nice.

( sotto voce ):
I want to ski.

Yeah, okay, juice is good.

KIM:
I guess what
I'm saying

is energy is a
precious resource.

It's up to each
and every one of us

to do our part.

So, a little eco-awareness
might be in order here.

Oh, I am but a simple
multibillionaire.

I can't believe that what I do
has any effect on anyone.

Yeah, um

your house sucks
up so much power

it's causing blackouts
all over Europe.

And these people
without power--

they are inconvenienced?

Very.

You see, Junior,
how awful it is
to be poor?

But, uh, what can I do?

Well, for starters

you could turn off
that giant sun lamp.

But if I am to be
a teen pop star

I need a robust tan.

Later. Oh, I want to hear again

about this
"low-flow shower head."

There's a ton
of things that
you can do

to make your house
more efficient.

House? More like a lair.

Lair? Oh, I do not like
the sound of that.

It's too... sinister.

This place
screams sinister.

It's on a private island
that isn't on any map.

I value my privacy.

What can I tell you?

Come on, look at all the chrome.

You've got doors that go,
that go "whoosh."

I always wondered
about the whoosh.

I like the whoosh.

It's the door
saying "I am closed."

It's fine, sir.

Ignore him.

All I'm saying

is that a guy
could take over the world

from a place like this.

I mean, really,
it wouldn't take much.

Maybe a communications
jamming system

some missiles

probably throw
in some traps

you know, self-activating lasers

an indoor lagoon
full of piranha.

Piranha.
Why ever would I want piranha?

To eat the good guys.

Just put in
some fluorescents--

that should
do the trick.

I'd also think about a
secret underground grotto

with a speedboat
for escape purposes.

And-And-And-And gigantic
spinning tops of doom.

They'd be huge, and they'd
destroy anything in their path.

Come on, Mr. Spinning-
Tops-of-Doom.

I've got homework.

Good-bye.

And thank you.

I hope the one
with the nice haircut

finds better trousers.

Yes, but his ideas...

I have so much money
and free time...

I could use a hobby.

Why didn't you
beat him up?

I'm not going to beat
up a guy just because
he's using too much power.

You could have kicked him.

I left him some pamphlets.

Well, all you kids could stand
to turn off a few lights.

Dinner.

Ta-da!

Mom, is that...?

Brain! Cool.
I want a lobe.

Boys-- please.

Sorry.

May I please
have a slice

of steaming
human brain?

Please!

First Ron, now my family.

Has everyone lost their...

That is so gross.

Kimmy, it's just meat loaf.

I'm making it
for the neurosurgeon's potluck.

Thought I'd try it
on you guys first.

Kudos on the realism.

Huh! Uncanny.

So, uh, what's up with Ronald?

Something you want
to talk about?

Yeah, but I guess I should
be talking to him.

May I be excused?

I'll save you
a plate, honey.

Boys, left hemisphere or right?

( phone ringing )

Hey, hey,
you've reached the home

of Ron Stoppable
and his fierce new haircut.

Leave a message.

How can Ron not be home?

Okay, better page him.

( phone dialing )

Oh, dude,
I am beyond

not feeling this shirt.

Look at my hair.

You got to key off the hair.

( beeping )

( sad sigh )

( phone ringing )

You and Ron at
all squared away?

Not.

I can't even reach him.

Dad, did you ever try
to change a friend

to make them better?

Well, not a
human, but back
in grad school

there was
this lab rat.

Pinky Joe Curlytail,
I called him.

Poor little guy was always
running mazes

for those Psych majors.

How I hated them.

Dad?

What does this have
to do with me?

Well, it seemed to me

that Pinky Joe Curlytail
was just so helpless.

I constructed a very tiny
cybertronic battle suit...

For the rat?

No more mazes
for him.

Yeah, in retrospect

giving him a working
plasma blaster

probably went too far.

Blew up half
the science building.

Rampaged across campus.

( screaming )

( chuckles )

Oh, Pinky Joe.

So... this creating-a-monster
thing runs in the family.

Saved you some
brain loaf, Kimmy.

If I said
the Ron trouble is rising

would you come back with a story
about a psycho rat?

No. But I might work
in an "I told you so."

What's happening, Mama?

Oh, hey,
where were you last night?

I paged and...

Whoa!

What happened
to you?

Ron Stoppable has arrived.

Amelia

babe, let's lunch.

Okay.

Oh, Pinky Joe.

( school bell ringing )

( frantic whimpering )

Rufus, what are you doing
out here?

Come on, let's get you
into Ron's locker.

Wow.

Yes, Amelia-- wow.

The secret is the sea urchin.

Excuse me.

Ron...

What is with you?

If you mean, am
I the new Ron?

Yes, I am.

I got to say, I don't think
the old Ron would have ever

left Rufus on the floor.

He was almost hallway roadkill.

( whimpering )

Rufus, you got
to be more careful.

What if something
happened to you?

( happy cry )

Whoa, bro.

Careful of
the 'do, babe.

So there's no room
for Rufus in your new life?

Yes, there is.

There's just no
room for him in
my new pants.

Leather.
You like?

Walk me to
History, Ron?

Boo-yah.

( whimpers )

Come on. You can live
in my locker.

( sighs )

( moans sadly )

Yeah, I liked him
that way too.

Kim...

We've got trouble--
big-time trouble.

What's the damage, Wade?

The damage is Señor Senior, Sr.

I thought you said
he was harmless.

Yeah.

Rich... but harmless.

He sucked up all the power
in Western Europe.

Okay. I'll go back
and make sure

he turns off some of his lights.

It's going to take more
than that, Kim.

Señor Senior, Sr.'s taking
Europe's power on purpose.

Check this out.

My evil vow is this.

I will send Europe back
into the dark ages

unless the Euro
Alliance gives me...

their nice little islands.

KIM:
Nice

little islands?

With the warm
beach days

and hot disco nights.

They are obviously new
at the big-time villain thing.

That's what worries me.

I'll get Ron.

We've got to save Europe.

( grunting and splashing )

Hmm... "evil chortle"?

No, not for me.

Ah... "the evil snicker."

( maniacally snickers )

All right,
that will do for now.

Junior!

Any word from
the Euro Alliance?

Somebody called,
I don't know who.

Did you think to take a message?

I did not.

I'm not your
message taking person.

If you want your own island

you will
think to take a message.

( static )

Look, Ron Stoppable
returns.

Has he gotten
new trousers?

Yes.

Scuba trousers.

So then Amelia ran up
and said, "Brad Pitt"

but she tapped me
on the shoulder, and...

Ron, we're sneaking here.

Sorry.

Brad Pitt, though.

Whoa.

Double whoa.

He's been busy.

Get down.

Oh, good.

Missiles.

I am so glad

you told him
to get missiles.

Oh, so I made
a few suggestions.

Does that make it
my fault?

One hundred percent.

( humming )

Is that what
I think it is?

That's how he's
draining the power.

Come on, let's
get this settled.

How are you planning
on getting inside?

The door.

Señor Senior, Sr.,
open up.

Ah,
Kim Possible.

My feisty...
RON:
Hey!

You put in
a lagoon.

The piranha
won't be here till Monday.

But I assure you, the koi
have not been fed in days.

I ordered this book on world
domination off the Internet.

It said you'd be coming back.

Have you gotten to the chapter
where you give yourself up?

No, actually, I'm up to the part
where I tell you

that it is too late for you
to stop my evil plan.

Oh, man, I have
a zit on my nose.

Will you get
over yourself?

You do, too.
Right there.

Self-activating lasers!

"Throw in
some traps."

Hey, on
the positive side

this guy is clearly
a terrific listener.

Señor Senior, Sr.
is really starting

to get on my nerves.

Should pleather lose
its sheen so quickly?

SENIOR:
Kim Possible.

Here is a good target--
Middleton.

I'm going
to attack your hometown.

Junior, go to the tower
and activate the missiles.

Oh, now I'm your
missile launching
person, too.

Junior just split.

I'll deal with Senior.
You go after Junior.

Keep an eye on him.

The old Ron may still
be inside there somewhere.

Oh...

you think you're
out of trouble?

Well, you're not out of trouble.

Farewell, Kim Possible.

( beeps )

( gasps )

Spinning tops
of doom?

Why do I have to launch
his stupid missiles?

Step away
from the console.

Oh, step away from
your bossy attitude.

You think just because
you're so nicely dressed...

( grunting )

( whimpers )

( whimpers )

No, you don't!

( gasps )

Oh, you are going to pay.

JUNIOR:
No!

( pants )

( gasps )

( grunting )

Huh?

Look at me.

What have I become?

I do not know, what?

My Ron-ness.

I-- I feel it.

Yeah.

This look works.

What look?

Let me see.

But your hair
is all messy.

It's so, so...

Totally me!

( screams )

Whoa. The stairs.
Use the stairs.

( gasps )

Kim!

( gasps )

Get down!

Come on!

Thanks.

Never, never tell anyone

to go out and buy
spinning tops of doom.

You've got to be careful
about what you say, Ron.

I mean,
one little thing...

Like, "you need
a new hairstyle"?

Yeah.

Like that.

Sorry.

You know what
the worst thing is?

Pleather doesn't breath.

( motor revving )

KIM:
Secret grotto and a speedboat.

Great for escapes.

You know, I am so not talking
to anyone ever again.

Come on,
let's ace this place.

So, it wasn't really

the haircut that
made me popular.

What people saw
was confidence.

So I lose the haircut,
keep the confidence

and I'm chauncy.

Hey, Amelia, we still on
for after school?

After school
with you?

And do what?

Geek out?

Come on, it's...
it's me, it's Ron.

What... so I,
so I ditched the 'do.

It's what's inside
that matters, right?

Right?

Like, who told
you that, loser?

Woo!

See?

Someone likes you
just the way you are.