I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 3, Episode 14 - Jeannie Goes to Honolulu - full transcript
Jeannie follows Tony to Hawaii and finds him seeing the Admiral's daughter.
[♪]
Oh, a trip.
A trip, a trip.
I'm so excited!
I'm so excited.
Gosh, I've never been
so excited in my life.
Where are we going?
The North Pole.
Oh, the North Pole!
The North Pole!
Yeah, it's a survival mission.
You better take along
a lot of warm clothes.
The last reading
was 65 below zero. Ooh.
Oh, 65.
Yeah. And it's the winds
you have to worry about.
Sometimes they get up to
a hundred miles an hour.
Cut right through you.
Hundred miles an hour?
Yeah, things get so cold,
your ears drop off
sometimes. Brr.
Ears drop off?
Master...
would you mind very much
if I did not go with you?
Oh, well, I...
I kind of looked forward
to you coming along, Jeannie.
I... I am very fond
of my ears.
Well, I'm gonna miss you.
Oh. And I will
miss you too.
I will go get your earmuffs.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, okay.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[LAUGHS]
Honolulu, here we come.
[♪]
[♪]
[♪]
Beautiful, huh, Roge?
Oh... Oh... Oh, beautiful.
Oh. I can't wait to
get down on that beach
with all those beautiful girls.
Yeah, we're here to do
a little work too, you know.
That's what I mean.
Let's go to work.
We don't have to report
until tomorrow.
Yeah, I wish I could have
brought Jeannie.
And you brought Jeannie?
Ho-ho. That's like
the Titanic
bringing along its own iceberg.
Look at that view.
Is that something, huh?
Do you realize
how high up we were?
Well, here's the beach.
There's the girls.
ROGER:
You look at that.
Do you see that?
TONY: Huh?
I can't believe that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, lookit. This is going to be
a fun trip, I tell you.
Oh, what a hunting ground
this is going to be.
Oh, I'm gonna take
two of those, one of those,
four of those,
about five of those...
Roger, sit down, will you?
Check your watch.
I'll bet you in 60 seconds,
we will have every one
of these girls
swarming around us like...
Like a bunch of lemmings.
Uh, Roger, I got work to do.
I'll bet you 5 bucks.
All right, 5 bucks.
Ah, you're on.
Five bucks.
Watch this.
[CLEARS THROAT, WHISTLES]
[SIGHS]
Just look at that moon!
Look at that moon.
Roger, will... Will you
sit down?
You take the dark side.
I'll take the light.
Just the two of us are
going to be going 100,000 miles
into space, touching the stars.
Star-touching.
Do you think it's sunstroke?
Moonstroke.
Let's get out of here
before he goes into orbit.
Hey, wait a minute. That's
Tony Nelson, the astronaut.
Wait, it can't be. And me too.
That is Tony Nelson. Oh.
Hi, aren't you Major Nelson?
Oh, yes. Yes.
I've been dying to meet you.
[CHUCKLES]
May I have your autograph?
I don't have any paper, but
you could write on my back.
I won't wash.
I'm Eleanor,
and I'm at the hotel.
I'm free for dinner if you are.
I'm free for breakfast.
[LAUGHS] Well...
My father owns most of it.
Yeah. Well,
I tell you, I...
This is the famous Major Nelson,
And I'm the famous Roger Healey.
Oh, yes, this is Roger Healey.
We're gonna be here
a whole week.
And, uh, there's enough of us
to go around for everybody.
Just give us your addresses
and your names.
We can work out a schedule.
It's getting awfully
crowded around here.
Why don't we go inside?
Yeah, let's go.
We'll all go inside.
Uh, look, I don't know
if I can make it.
Maybe if you all would put
your names down here,
and I can... I could have
breakfast with you...
Wait a minute.
I'm here.
Oh, I won the $5 anyway.
I think I'll take that money
and join a pen pal club.
It's wonderful here.
Oh, Daddy.
Where?
My father, right over there.
[INAUDIBLE SPEECH]
Admiral Drucker?
That's your father?
Yes, he is.
[CHANTING IN FOREIGN DIALECT]
[GASPS]
Ooh!
The North Pole?!
Mmm!
Say, I have a marvelous idea.
[CHUCKLES] So do I.
We're going to dinner
tonight, aren't we?
Mm-hm.
Tonight, tomorrow night...
and the next...
No.
No?
Well, uh, this...
The...
There's no sense
in wasting any time.
Why don't you go into
the, uh... Uh, restaurant,
and make a reservation
for the table tonight?
I'm all full of oil.
But Tony...
I'll be waiting
for you right here.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hi, Jeannie. What are
you doing here?
I decided to come
to the North Pole
so I could suffer with you.
Yea... Well, you see...
Even though icy winds went
through me at 100 miles an hour.
Yeah, well,
a funny thing happened
on the way to the North Pole.
And my ears fell off.
Now, I can explain
that. You see, I...
Jeannie. What do you
think you're doing?
I want to make sure you do not
catch pneumonia, master.
Yeah, but...
Wait a minute. This thing
won't come off.
I know.
Enjoy yourself, master.
Now, wait a minute...
Major Nelson.
Oh,
yes, sir. Hi.
That's a parka.
It's either that or
he's grown all that hair.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Would you mind explaining
what you're doing in a parka
on Waikiki Beach in July?
Yes.
Well...?
Well, it's a...
It's a... Well, I...
It's a new method of
weight control, sir.
Uh, you see, the perspiration
builds up to a certain level...
Get out of that
outfit now, major.
You're making a spectacle
of yourself.
I'm trying here.
It...
Well...?
I'd... I'd better
go up to my room.
Yes. Do that.
Tell me, darling,
wouldn't you call that
abnormal behavior pattern?
No. I think it's kooky.
Oh...
Hi.
Hi, Jeannie.
I like the North Pole.
I'm sorry, Jeannie.
I shouldn't have deceived you.
Oh. Did you
deceive me, master?
Yeah, and...
I... I'm sorry about that.
I'll just face
the court-martial.
What court-martial?
Shh!
Well, it doesn't matter anymore.
Th... They can only give me five
or 10 years in prison.
My secret mission...
No!
I did not know you were
on a secret mission.
When I saw you with that girl,
I thought that you...
Well...
I will never distrust you again,
master.
Who is that girl?
Uh, that's
the Princess Maja. Oil.
Oil?
Uh... Yea...
Oh, yes, her father
controls all the oil
in the Middle East.
That's why I have to have dinner
with her tonight
and tomorrow night...
But I do not...
Shh.
See that dangerous-looking man
she's talking to now?
TONY:
That's Ali Mustafa.
He's after the oil.
He is?
He and his men tried to
kidnap her last night.
JEANNIE:
They tried to kidnap her?
That's terrible.
But I still do not understand
why you have to take her... Sh.
[SCREAMS]
Oh, I am sorry. Did I hurt you?
Oh, no, I'm...
I'm...
Uh...
Oh, you're Don Ho.
Yes, but never mind that.
Are you...? Are you all right?
Oh, yes, I'm fine.
I just saw your act the other
night. You were marvelous.
Thank you.
We're there every night
for pretty girls like you.
See the other man
she's talking to now?
Yes.
That's Rubulkien the Deadly.
The Deadly?
Jeannie, this place is
a hotbed of intrigue.
One false move and:
I did not know.
Jeannie...
I want you to do
something for me.
Oh, anything, master.
Go home.
Oh, no!
Master?
Master, no.
I love intrigue.
I will stay and help you.
Yeah... But... I... I... I
know that.
But I really don't
need any of your help.
I have everything under control.
You see, if I can see
the princess tonight
and tomorrow night
and the next night, and...
Everything will work out
exactly the way I want it to.
Do you think I would leave you
at the mercy of those kidnappers
and Rubulkien the Deadly?
Yes, I know.
But I don't...
You said you need oil?
Yes.
Then I will watch
Rubulkien for you,
and you shall have your oil.
[CLAPS]
No. No, really, I...
Congratulations, Major Nelson.
You struck oil in the middle
of Waikiki Beach.
Are you sure you're not gonna
have a problem with Jeannie?
No. Not only is
she gonna allow me
to go to dinner with Eleanor,
she's gonna insist upon it.
Well, you don't know Jeannie.
[CHUCKLES] You keep forgetting
I'm smarter than she is.
Master.
Uh... Yes.
I have been following Rubulkien.
And you would not
believe this...
but he put a strange mask
on his face,
and took a spear
and went under the water.
[SNAPS] I was afraid of that.
Afraid of that? Well,
that's a snorkel.
They use that when
they go underwater...
Yeah, you're right, Roge.
Snorkel El Hassan.
That's his cousin.
Probably have a secret
meeting place underwater.
A secret meeting
place underwater?
Why would...?
You're right again.
I'm gonna have to have dinner
with the princess
tonight, but...
how am I gonna
keep an eye on Rubulkien?
Rubulkien?
The Deadly.
Oh, that Rubulkien.
Do not worry, master.
I will keep an eye
on him for you.
Would somebody mind
telling me what's going on?
Well, he does not know
why he is here?
He does not know
about the oil? And...
And... And Ali Mustafa...?
I told you, it's top-secret.
Nobody knows about it except me.
[WHISPERING]
Oh. I am sorry, master.
Yeah. Me too.
Sorry I eavesdropped.
I'm counting on you, Jeannie.
Yes, master.
[LAUGHS]
Didn't I tell you
I can handle it?
Yeah. That was good.
Yeah, you were good.
Uh, Tony...
Hm?
If I promise not to
say anything, would...?
Would you mind telling me
about our secret oil mission.
[CLEARS THROAT]
This is an adorable
place, isn't it?
Well, if you like
adorable things,
we'll get along fine.
[LAUGHS]
Would you care to order now?
Hey, look who's here.
All the way from...
[STOMPS FOOT] Ooh!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you kidding?
Don't you recognize who...? Roge.
I'm sorry.
Wait. But you can't...
Oh...! Oh, yeah.
Let's eat. I'm hungry.
What are you doing here?
I am keeping an eye
on Mr. Rubulkien.
Good. Good.
Uh, what would you like
to start with?
Oh, it really doesn't matter.
Tony, I was thinking,
do you really
have to leave Sunday?
Oh, yeah. Sunday, everything
ought to be.
[MOUTHING]
uh... Uh...
well, you know,
s-settled. Heh.
Uh... Uh, no, I...
I don't know.
What do you mean by settled?
[MOUTHING]
Uh... Well, I... The... That talk
I'm gonna have with your father.
Oh, Tony.
No. Not now.
Oh!
Not here. No.
Oh.
Oh.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I must go now. Heh.
But I will be right back.
[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, it's, uh...
The service is really not...
Excuse me.
Yes? Oh, yes, ma'am.
Aren't you Major Nelson,
the astronaut?
Uh, yes.
May I have your autograph?
Of course.
To Natalie.
"To Natalie." Where are
you from, Natalie?
Chicago.
Major Healey?
Oh, yes.
Could I?
Oh, I'd love to. I just happen
to have a pen right there.
It's just, you know,
I'll sign that...
Thank you.
Yeah. That's the one.
I... My... Uh, maybe we can, uh...
Yes? Yes?
Major Nelson, may I
have your autograph?
To Frances.
"To Frances"?
To Frances.
Frances, my...? Can I have my...?
There you are, Frances.
- Pen back?
- Oh, thank you.
Ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No. Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Uh... Well, maybe I could
visit you in Chicago.
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES] Hey.
Let's... Let's get out of here.
Yeah, let's...
[DRUM ROLL]
Ladies and gentlemen,
at this time
we're very proud to present
Hawaii's favorite son:
The wild, unpredictable
Mr. Don Ho.
[ALL APPLAUD]
[BAND PLAYS]
Thank you very much, everybody.
♪ If your pretty little girl
Leaves you hung up ♪
♪ Standing on the corner
Of 5th and Main ♪
♪ She left you standing there
With a pair of movie tickets ♪
♪ Tear up the tickets
Brother, don't complain ♪
♪ 'Cause it ain't ♪
♪ 'Cause it ain't ♪
♪ No, it ain't ♪
♪ No, it ain't ♪
ALL:
♪ Ain't no big thing ♪
There you go.
Ain't no big thing.
ALL: ♪ Ain't no big thing, brother
When things ain't looking up ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing
When there ain't no coffee ♪
♪ To fill the cup ♪
♪ Oh, the good times
Are coming ♪
♪ Let them roll Let them roll ♪
♪ Now, if your ma-in-law
Starts getting huffy ♪
♪ A-walking around your pad
With a long face ♪
♪ You just go out
And you buy her ♪
♪ A one-way passage
And you tell her ♪
♪ Go join the astronauts
In outer space ♪
♪ 'Cause it ain't ♪
♪ 'Cause it ain't ♪
♪ No, it ain't ♪
♪ No, it ain't ♪
ALL:
♪ Ain't no big thing ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing, brother
When things ain't looking up ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing
When there ain't no coffee ♪
♪ To fill the cup ♪
♪ Oh, the good times
Are coming ♪
♪ Let them roll
Let them roll now ♪
♪ Well, now, there ain't
No big thing, brother, when... ♪
[WHISPERING] Master? Yes?
They call Rubulkien
the Deadly "Don Ho."
Yeah. That's his alias.
His alias?
His cover.
Oh. He does it
very well.
Thank you.
[SONG ENDS]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
[MOUTHS] Thank you.
[SLOW SONG BEGINS]
♪ I could fly like a bird ♪
♪ On the wings of the wind ♪
♪ I played in the sun ♪
♪ With a joy deep within ♪
♪ I have laughter as a toy ♪
♪ And a sweet for my tooth ♪
♪ In the beautiful days ♪
♪ Of my youth ♪
♪ Everyone that I met ♪
♪ Was a friend Not a foe ♪
♪ Fears that I learned
Way back then ♪
♪ I didn't know ♪
♪ Not one deed meant unkind ♪
♪ Or one thought uncouth ♪
♪ In the beautiful day ♪
♪ Of my youth ♪
♪ How time quickly passed ♪
♪ The years traveled on ♪
♪ Hopes and the dreams ♪
♪ Have diminished and gone ♪
♪ Now the child that I face ♪
♪ How familiar he seems ♪
♪ He's wearing my eyes ♪
♪ And he's living my dreams ♪
♪ Oh, my innocent child ♪
♪ I will spare the untruth ♪
♪ In the magical days ♪
♪ Oh, sweet candy days ♪
♪ Beautiful days ♪
♪ Of your youth ♪
♪ How time quickly flies ♪
♪ Years travel on ♪
♪ Hopes and the dreams ♪
♪ Have diminished and gone ♪
♪ Now the child that I face ♪
♪ How familiar he seems ♪
♪ Wearing my eyes ♪
♪ And living my dreams ♪
♪ Oh, my innocent child ♪
♪ I will spare the untruth ♪
♪ In the magical days ♪
♪ Those sweet candy days ♪
♪ The beautiful days ♪
♪ Of your youth ♪
♪ Run, child, run ♪
♪ See these days Of my youth ♪
♪ Laugh, child, laugh
Like the wind ♪
♪ In the days ♪
♪ Sing, child, sing ♪
♪ Of my youth ♪
♪ The days Of my youth ♪
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
[INAUDIBLE WORDS]
Thank you very much.
Uh, I... I think
we ought to be going.
Yes, I... think we ought
to be going. Okay.
Uh, waiter. Uh, could I
have the check, please?
Yeah. Here's the check.
Oh. Uh...
Cigars, cigarettes.
Cigars, cigarettes.
Where are you going?
The princess wanted to leave.
I better keep an eye on her.
Oh, very well. I will
keep an eye on Rubulkien.
Good. Good.
Do you like my disguise, master?
Shh! Shh! Yeah.
I don't think anybody
would ever recognize you
in a million years.
JEANNIE:
Are you going to get
what you want from the princess?
Princess?
Yeah. Yeah, everything's
going fine.
I think by...
By next Sunday
I'll have control of all
the oil in the Middle East.
Oil?
If you need any help, master,
I will be happy...
Shh! I'll do it myself.
You just keep an eye
on Rubulkien.
Yes, master.
Okay. Now,
she may be getting suspicious.
Now, I better get going.
See you later.
Good luck with the oil, mas...
[QUIETLY]... Ter.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
Cigars, cigarettes.
And this is his vacation.
Yeah, well, I just finished
getting dressed, okay?
Yeah, I'll be down in a minute.
Good morning, Major Healey.
Oh. Hi, Jeannie.
Where's Major Nelson?
Out with the admiral's daughter.
Oh. He's out with the admiral...
With the princess.
You mean the admiral's daughter.
She is not a princess.
Not a full-fledged princess.
That means there is no oil.
There's a little oil.
And there's... Ooh!
I didn't say there was no...
My master has done it again!
Just... Now, relax.
The admiral ordered him
to take her out.
Oh-ho. Oh. Oh, oh, oh.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Sorry. Yeah.
ELEANOR:
Oh, God. Wait!
[BOTH LAUGH]
You know, it's been so long
since I've ridden.
I seem to have forgotten how.
Oh, yeah?
Well, just remember,
you're the master,
and the horse is your...
Your friend.
Right.
He has to know who's on top.
Right. Just hold it
like that, and, uh...
Well, go ahead. I'll follow you.
Okay.
[♪]
[CLAPS, SILENTLY LAUGHS]
Master.
Ah!
Out, out.
Oh, but all I did was
try to help you. I did...
All you did was embarrass me
and Eleanor and Admiral Drucker,
and... And, uh...
But I do not want to...
Now, out. Go on.
I want to be alone, Jeannie.
Absolutely alone.
Are you sure?
Yeah. Positive.
Very well then.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[INAUDIBLE WORDS]
BAND: ♪ Ain't no big thing ♪
DON HO: ♪ All together now ♪
ALL: ♪ Ain't no big thing, brother
When things ain't looking up ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing
When there ain't no coffee ♪
♪ To fill the cup
No, the good times are coming ♪
♪ Let 'em roll ♪
♪ Let 'em roll, baby ♪
DON HO:
♪ Ain't no big thing, gang ♪
ALL: ♪ Well, there ain't
No big thing, brother ♪
♪ When things Ain't looking up ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing
When there ain't no coffee ♪
♪ To fill the cup
No, the good times are coming ♪
♪ Let them roll ♪
♪ Let them roll ♪
[♪]
Oh, a trip.
A trip, a trip.
I'm so excited!
I'm so excited.
Gosh, I've never been
so excited in my life.
Where are we going?
The North Pole.
Oh, the North Pole!
The North Pole!
Yeah, it's a survival mission.
You better take along
a lot of warm clothes.
The last reading
was 65 below zero. Ooh.
Oh, 65.
Yeah. And it's the winds
you have to worry about.
Sometimes they get up to
a hundred miles an hour.
Cut right through you.
Hundred miles an hour?
Yeah, things get so cold,
your ears drop off
sometimes. Brr.
Ears drop off?
Master...
would you mind very much
if I did not go with you?
Oh, well, I...
I kind of looked forward
to you coming along, Jeannie.
I... I am very fond
of my ears.
Well, I'm gonna miss you.
Oh. And I will
miss you too.
I will go get your earmuffs.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah, okay.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[LAUGHS]
Honolulu, here we come.
[♪]
[♪]
[♪]
Beautiful, huh, Roge?
Oh... Oh... Oh, beautiful.
Oh. I can't wait to
get down on that beach
with all those beautiful girls.
Yeah, we're here to do
a little work too, you know.
That's what I mean.
Let's go to work.
We don't have to report
until tomorrow.
Yeah, I wish I could have
brought Jeannie.
And you brought Jeannie?
Ho-ho. That's like
the Titanic
bringing along its own iceberg.
Look at that view.
Is that something, huh?
Do you realize
how high up we were?
Well, here's the beach.
There's the girls.
ROGER:
You look at that.
Do you see that?
TONY: Huh?
I can't believe that.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, lookit. This is going to be
a fun trip, I tell you.
Oh, what a hunting ground
this is going to be.
Oh, I'm gonna take
two of those, one of those,
four of those,
about five of those...
Roger, sit down, will you?
Check your watch.
I'll bet you in 60 seconds,
we will have every one
of these girls
swarming around us like...
Like a bunch of lemmings.
Uh, Roger, I got work to do.
I'll bet you 5 bucks.
All right, 5 bucks.
Ah, you're on.
Five bucks.
Watch this.
[CLEARS THROAT, WHISTLES]
[SIGHS]
Just look at that moon!
Look at that moon.
Roger, will... Will you
sit down?
You take the dark side.
I'll take the light.
Just the two of us are
going to be going 100,000 miles
into space, touching the stars.
Star-touching.
Do you think it's sunstroke?
Moonstroke.
Let's get out of here
before he goes into orbit.
Hey, wait a minute. That's
Tony Nelson, the astronaut.
Wait, it can't be. And me too.
That is Tony Nelson. Oh.
Hi, aren't you Major Nelson?
Oh, yes. Yes.
I've been dying to meet you.
[CHUCKLES]
May I have your autograph?
I don't have any paper, but
you could write on my back.
I won't wash.
I'm Eleanor,
and I'm at the hotel.
I'm free for dinner if you are.
I'm free for breakfast.
[LAUGHS] Well...
My father owns most of it.
Yeah. Well,
I tell you, I...
This is the famous Major Nelson,
And I'm the famous Roger Healey.
Oh, yes, this is Roger Healey.
We're gonna be here
a whole week.
And, uh, there's enough of us
to go around for everybody.
Just give us your addresses
and your names.
We can work out a schedule.
It's getting awfully
crowded around here.
Why don't we go inside?
Yeah, let's go.
We'll all go inside.
Uh, look, I don't know
if I can make it.
Maybe if you all would put
your names down here,
and I can... I could have
breakfast with you...
Wait a minute.
I'm here.
Oh, I won the $5 anyway.
I think I'll take that money
and join a pen pal club.
It's wonderful here.
Oh, Daddy.
Where?
My father, right over there.
[INAUDIBLE SPEECH]
Admiral Drucker?
That's your father?
Yes, he is.
[CHANTING IN FOREIGN DIALECT]
[GASPS]
Ooh!
The North Pole?!
Mmm!
Say, I have a marvelous idea.
[CHUCKLES] So do I.
We're going to dinner
tonight, aren't we?
Mm-hm.
Tonight, tomorrow night...
and the next...
No.
No?
Well, uh, this...
The...
There's no sense
in wasting any time.
Why don't you go into
the, uh... Uh, restaurant,
and make a reservation
for the table tonight?
I'm all full of oil.
But Tony...
I'll be waiting
for you right here.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hi, Jeannie. What are
you doing here?
I decided to come
to the North Pole
so I could suffer with you.
Yea... Well, you see...
Even though icy winds went
through me at 100 miles an hour.
Yeah, well,
a funny thing happened
on the way to the North Pole.
And my ears fell off.
Now, I can explain
that. You see, I...
Jeannie. What do you
think you're doing?
I want to make sure you do not
catch pneumonia, master.
Yeah, but...
Wait a minute. This thing
won't come off.
I know.
Enjoy yourself, master.
Now, wait a minute...
Major Nelson.
Oh,
yes, sir. Hi.
That's a parka.
It's either that or
he's grown all that hair.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Would you mind explaining
what you're doing in a parka
on Waikiki Beach in July?
Yes.
Well...?
Well, it's a...
It's a... Well, I...
It's a new method of
weight control, sir.
Uh, you see, the perspiration
builds up to a certain level...
Get out of that
outfit now, major.
You're making a spectacle
of yourself.
I'm trying here.
It...
Well...?
I'd... I'd better
go up to my room.
Yes. Do that.
Tell me, darling,
wouldn't you call that
abnormal behavior pattern?
No. I think it's kooky.
Oh...
Hi.
Hi, Jeannie.
I like the North Pole.
I'm sorry, Jeannie.
I shouldn't have deceived you.
Oh. Did you
deceive me, master?
Yeah, and...
I... I'm sorry about that.
I'll just face
the court-martial.
What court-martial?
Shh!
Well, it doesn't matter anymore.
Th... They can only give me five
or 10 years in prison.
My secret mission...
No!
I did not know you were
on a secret mission.
When I saw you with that girl,
I thought that you...
Well...
I will never distrust you again,
master.
Who is that girl?
Uh, that's
the Princess Maja. Oil.
Oil?
Uh... Yea...
Oh, yes, her father
controls all the oil
in the Middle East.
That's why I have to have dinner
with her tonight
and tomorrow night...
But I do not...
Shh.
See that dangerous-looking man
she's talking to now?
TONY:
That's Ali Mustafa.
He's after the oil.
He is?
He and his men tried to
kidnap her last night.
JEANNIE:
They tried to kidnap her?
That's terrible.
But I still do not understand
why you have to take her... Sh.
[SCREAMS]
Oh, I am sorry. Did I hurt you?
Oh, no, I'm...
I'm...
Uh...
Oh, you're Don Ho.
Yes, but never mind that.
Are you...? Are you all right?
Oh, yes, I'm fine.
I just saw your act the other
night. You were marvelous.
Thank you.
We're there every night
for pretty girls like you.
See the other man
she's talking to now?
Yes.
That's Rubulkien the Deadly.
The Deadly?
Jeannie, this place is
a hotbed of intrigue.
One false move and:
I did not know.
Jeannie...
I want you to do
something for me.
Oh, anything, master.
Go home.
Oh, no!
Master?
Master, no.
I love intrigue.
I will stay and help you.
Yeah... But... I... I... I
know that.
But I really don't
need any of your help.
I have everything under control.
You see, if I can see
the princess tonight
and tomorrow night
and the next night, and...
Everything will work out
exactly the way I want it to.
Do you think I would leave you
at the mercy of those kidnappers
and Rubulkien the Deadly?
Yes, I know.
But I don't...
You said you need oil?
Yes.
Then I will watch
Rubulkien for you,
and you shall have your oil.
[CLAPS]
No. No, really, I...
Congratulations, Major Nelson.
You struck oil in the middle
of Waikiki Beach.
Are you sure you're not gonna
have a problem with Jeannie?
No. Not only is
she gonna allow me
to go to dinner with Eleanor,
she's gonna insist upon it.
Well, you don't know Jeannie.
[CHUCKLES] You keep forgetting
I'm smarter than she is.
Master.
Uh... Yes.
I have been following Rubulkien.
And you would not
believe this...
but he put a strange mask
on his face,
and took a spear
and went under the water.
[SNAPS] I was afraid of that.
Afraid of that? Well,
that's a snorkel.
They use that when
they go underwater...
Yeah, you're right, Roge.
Snorkel El Hassan.
That's his cousin.
Probably have a secret
meeting place underwater.
A secret meeting
place underwater?
Why would...?
You're right again.
I'm gonna have to have dinner
with the princess
tonight, but...
how am I gonna
keep an eye on Rubulkien?
Rubulkien?
The Deadly.
Oh, that Rubulkien.
Do not worry, master.
I will keep an eye
on him for you.
Would somebody mind
telling me what's going on?
Well, he does not know
why he is here?
He does not know
about the oil? And...
And... And Ali Mustafa...?
I told you, it's top-secret.
Nobody knows about it except me.
[WHISPERING]
Oh. I am sorry, master.
Yeah. Me too.
Sorry I eavesdropped.
I'm counting on you, Jeannie.
Yes, master.
[LAUGHS]
Didn't I tell you
I can handle it?
Yeah. That was good.
Yeah, you were good.
Uh, Tony...
Hm?
If I promise not to
say anything, would...?
Would you mind telling me
about our secret oil mission.
[CLEARS THROAT]
This is an adorable
place, isn't it?
Well, if you like
adorable things,
we'll get along fine.
[LAUGHS]
Would you care to order now?
Hey, look who's here.
All the way from...
[STOMPS FOOT] Ooh!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you kidding?
Don't you recognize who...? Roge.
I'm sorry.
Wait. But you can't...
Oh...! Oh, yeah.
Let's eat. I'm hungry.
What are you doing here?
I am keeping an eye
on Mr. Rubulkien.
Good. Good.
Uh, what would you like
to start with?
Oh, it really doesn't matter.
Tony, I was thinking,
do you really
have to leave Sunday?
Oh, yeah. Sunday, everything
ought to be.
[MOUTHING]
uh... Uh...
well, you know,
s-settled. Heh.
Uh... Uh, no, I...
I don't know.
What do you mean by settled?
[MOUTHING]
Uh... Well, I... The... That talk
I'm gonna have with your father.
Oh, Tony.
No. Not now.
Oh!
Not here. No.
Oh.
Oh.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I must go now. Heh.
But I will be right back.
[HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Uh, it's, uh...
The service is really not...
Excuse me.
Yes? Oh, yes, ma'am.
Aren't you Major Nelson,
the astronaut?
Uh, yes.
May I have your autograph?
Of course.
To Natalie.
"To Natalie." Where are
you from, Natalie?
Chicago.
Major Healey?
Oh, yes.
Could I?
Oh, I'd love to. I just happen
to have a pen right there.
It's just, you know,
I'll sign that...
Thank you.
Yeah. That's the one.
I... My... Uh, maybe we can, uh...
Yes? Yes?
Major Nelson, may I
have your autograph?
To Frances.
"To Frances"?
To Frances.
Frances, my...? Can I have my...?
There you are, Frances.
- Pen back?
- Oh, thank you.
Ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you.
No. Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Uh... Well, maybe I could
visit you in Chicago.
Thank you.
[CHUCKLES] Hey.
Let's... Let's get out of here.
Yeah, let's...
[DRUM ROLL]
Ladies and gentlemen,
at this time
we're very proud to present
Hawaii's favorite son:
The wild, unpredictable
Mr. Don Ho.
[ALL APPLAUD]
[BAND PLAYS]
Thank you very much, everybody.
♪ If your pretty little girl
Leaves you hung up ♪
♪ Standing on the corner
Of 5th and Main ♪
♪ She left you standing there
With a pair of movie tickets ♪
♪ Tear up the tickets
Brother, don't complain ♪
♪ 'Cause it ain't ♪
♪ 'Cause it ain't ♪
♪ No, it ain't ♪
♪ No, it ain't ♪
ALL:
♪ Ain't no big thing ♪
There you go.
Ain't no big thing.
ALL: ♪ Ain't no big thing, brother
When things ain't looking up ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing
When there ain't no coffee ♪
♪ To fill the cup ♪
♪ Oh, the good times
Are coming ♪
♪ Let them roll Let them roll ♪
♪ Now, if your ma-in-law
Starts getting huffy ♪
♪ A-walking around your pad
With a long face ♪
♪ You just go out
And you buy her ♪
♪ A one-way passage
And you tell her ♪
♪ Go join the astronauts
In outer space ♪
♪ 'Cause it ain't ♪
♪ 'Cause it ain't ♪
♪ No, it ain't ♪
♪ No, it ain't ♪
ALL:
♪ Ain't no big thing ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing, brother
When things ain't looking up ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing
When there ain't no coffee ♪
♪ To fill the cup ♪
♪ Oh, the good times
Are coming ♪
♪ Let them roll
Let them roll now ♪
♪ Well, now, there ain't
No big thing, brother, when... ♪
[WHISPERING] Master? Yes?
They call Rubulkien
the Deadly "Don Ho."
Yeah. That's his alias.
His alias?
His cover.
Oh. He does it
very well.
Thank you.
[SONG ENDS]
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
[MOUTHS] Thank you.
[SLOW SONG BEGINS]
♪ I could fly like a bird ♪
♪ On the wings of the wind ♪
♪ I played in the sun ♪
♪ With a joy deep within ♪
♪ I have laughter as a toy ♪
♪ And a sweet for my tooth ♪
♪ In the beautiful days ♪
♪ Of my youth ♪
♪ Everyone that I met ♪
♪ Was a friend Not a foe ♪
♪ Fears that I learned
Way back then ♪
♪ I didn't know ♪
♪ Not one deed meant unkind ♪
♪ Or one thought uncouth ♪
♪ In the beautiful day ♪
♪ Of my youth ♪
♪ How time quickly passed ♪
♪ The years traveled on ♪
♪ Hopes and the dreams ♪
♪ Have diminished and gone ♪
♪ Now the child that I face ♪
♪ How familiar he seems ♪
♪ He's wearing my eyes ♪
♪ And he's living my dreams ♪
♪ Oh, my innocent child ♪
♪ I will spare the untruth ♪
♪ In the magical days ♪
♪ Oh, sweet candy days ♪
♪ Beautiful days ♪
♪ Of your youth ♪
♪ How time quickly flies ♪
♪ Years travel on ♪
♪ Hopes and the dreams ♪
♪ Have diminished and gone ♪
♪ Now the child that I face ♪
♪ How familiar he seems ♪
♪ Wearing my eyes ♪
♪ And living my dreams ♪
♪ Oh, my innocent child ♪
♪ I will spare the untruth ♪
♪ In the magical days ♪
♪ Those sweet candy days ♪
♪ The beautiful days ♪
♪ Of your youth ♪
♪ Run, child, run ♪
♪ See these days Of my youth ♪
♪ Laugh, child, laugh
Like the wind ♪
♪ In the days ♪
♪ Sing, child, sing ♪
♪ Of my youth ♪
♪ The days Of my youth ♪
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
[INAUDIBLE WORDS]
Thank you very much.
Uh, I... I think
we ought to be going.
Yes, I... think we ought
to be going. Okay.
Uh, waiter. Uh, could I
have the check, please?
Yeah. Here's the check.
Oh. Uh...
Cigars, cigarettes.
Cigars, cigarettes.
Where are you going?
The princess wanted to leave.
I better keep an eye on her.
Oh, very well. I will
keep an eye on Rubulkien.
Good. Good.
Do you like my disguise, master?
Shh! Shh! Yeah.
I don't think anybody
would ever recognize you
in a million years.
JEANNIE:
Are you going to get
what you want from the princess?
Princess?
Yeah. Yeah, everything's
going fine.
I think by...
By next Sunday
I'll have control of all
the oil in the Middle East.
Oil?
If you need any help, master,
I will be happy...
Shh! I'll do it myself.
You just keep an eye
on Rubulkien.
Yes, master.
Okay. Now,
she may be getting suspicious.
Now, I better get going.
See you later.
Good luck with the oil, mas...
[QUIETLY]... Ter.
[CHUCKLES] Okay.
Cigars, cigarettes.
And this is his vacation.
Yeah, well, I just finished
getting dressed, okay?
Yeah, I'll be down in a minute.
Good morning, Major Healey.
Oh. Hi, Jeannie.
Where's Major Nelson?
Out with the admiral's daughter.
Oh. He's out with the admiral...
With the princess.
You mean the admiral's daughter.
She is not a princess.
Not a full-fledged princess.
That means there is no oil.
There's a little oil.
And there's... Ooh!
I didn't say there was no...
My master has done it again!
Just... Now, relax.
The admiral ordered him
to take her out.
Oh-ho. Oh. Oh, oh, oh.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Sorry. Yeah.
ELEANOR:
Oh, God. Wait!
[BOTH LAUGH]
You know, it's been so long
since I've ridden.
I seem to have forgotten how.
Oh, yeah?
Well, just remember,
you're the master,
and the horse is your...
Your friend.
Right.
He has to know who's on top.
Right. Just hold it
like that, and, uh...
Well, go ahead. I'll follow you.
Okay.
[♪]
[CLAPS, SILENTLY LAUGHS]
Master.
Ah!
Out, out.
Oh, but all I did was
try to help you. I did...
All you did was embarrass me
and Eleanor and Admiral Drucker,
and... And, uh...
But I do not want to...
Now, out. Go on.
I want to be alone, Jeannie.
Absolutely alone.
Are you sure?
Yeah. Positive.
Very well then.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[INAUDIBLE WORDS]
BAND: ♪ Ain't no big thing ♪
DON HO: ♪ All together now ♪
ALL: ♪ Ain't no big thing, brother
When things ain't looking up ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing
When there ain't no coffee ♪
♪ To fill the cup
No, the good times are coming ♪
♪ Let 'em roll ♪
♪ Let 'em roll, baby ♪
DON HO:
♪ Ain't no big thing, gang ♪
ALL: ♪ Well, there ain't
No big thing, brother ♪
♪ When things Ain't looking up ♪
♪ Ain't no big thing
When there ain't no coffee ♪
♪ To fill the cup
No, the good times are coming ♪
♪ Let them roll ♪
♪ Let them roll ♪
[♪]