High Desert (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - I Need a Hero - full transcript
The Gattchis attempt to seize control of the situation.
["Easy to Love" playing]
- [smacks lips]
- [song continues on radio]
- Careful. Careful! Careful!
- Oh!
[tires screeching]
Hey, Martha, I got that 10-32 suspect
traveling east on Old Woman Road.
[Martha] Roger that.
[siren wailing]
[Milton] Goddamn it. [sighs]
Figures. [mutters]
[footsteps approaching]
Hands where I can see 'em.
- What's the problem?
- Step out of the car, ma'am.
I swerved a little. I dropped some onion.
Step out of the car, please.
I think you gotta tell me what for.
A vehicle fitting this description
was involved in a shooting incident.
What shooting incident?
We're just coming back
from a nice vacation on Lake Havasu.
[Heather chewing]
Please step out of the car, ma'am.
I'm eating.
- [Milton] Hey, Martha, I need some backup.
- [Martha] Copy that.
- [radio clicks on]
- ["Toxic" playing]
[volume increases]
- [Heather, Milton screaming, grunting]
- [impact sounds]
- [thuds]
- [gunshot]
[Milton screaming]
No, please! Please, God! No! please!
[gunshot]
[screaming continues]
["Toxic" continues on radio]
Whoa. This is pretty loud.
[sighs]
Son of a bitch tried to shoot me.
[song ends]
Daddy?
- [thuds]
- Daddy!
Daddy!
["Talkin' to Myself" playing]
[knocking]
[Carol] Peggy.
[knocking continues]
Peggy, are you in there?
- [footsteps approaching]
- [Judy whimpering]
- [Carol] Denny.
- [Judy yelps, whining]
- [groans]
- Where's Peggy?
Her car's out front,
but she's not answering the door.
- Nia?
- Shh! It's Carol.
She knows me as Carol.
How the fuck are you here?
It doesn't matter. Where is she?
I got some shit to tie up.
[groans]
Peggy?
Uh, could I get the short answer,
for Chrissake?
[sighs] Her keys are here.
I mean, I'm looking at a ghost.
Why are you here?
[Carol sighs]
I needed some medical care a while ago.
Peggy arranged it
with this very nice doctor,
who was also very handsome,
so I moved in with him.
- And that's his daughter.
- [dog barking]
- [Denny sighs]
- [Cooper] Good girl.
I can't believe
she didn't fucking tell me.
- [Cooper] Stay.
- Who picked the name "Carol"?
- I need to talk to Peggy, Denny.
- No, no, so do I.
[Bob wails]
- No! Guys, come on.
- [Nick] Come on, let's go! [grunts]
- [Bob] I'm your brother-in-law. Come on.
- [Nick] Just stop wiggling, you freak.
[Bob] I wasn't hiding. I was...
I was meditating in the wine cellar.
[Leo] Shut up!
- No. [groaning, struggling]
- There we go.
- Ow! Don't bump my rib.
- [both panting]
Where were you?
I... I took two tabs this morning.
- I am tripping balls.
- I am tripping balls.
Look, maybe it's the best way to go.
Wait. We're gonna die?
[sighs]
They're not taking us to dinner, hon.
[sighs] Fuck.
- They took her.
- Who?
We had a run-in last night with
this strange fucking May-December duo.
Why do you think they took her?
Because her car is in the driveway,
the house is unlocked,
and she left her phone.
No. Other people are in play here, Denny.
It could've been that guru bastard.
That fucking guy?
It could have been the Gattchis.
Wait a... Wait a minute. What do you mean?
The New York Gattchis?
[Carol] None of this is good.
The fuck are you talking about?
That's the guru's backyard
and probably his wife,
who also happened to be a Gattchi.
How did you get this?
Cooper's got a drone.
- Where are you going?
- To get help.
Cooper, we're leaving!
Come on, Peggy. Where the fuck are you?
- [Cooper] Can I drive?
- [Carol] You know you are not driving.
- Peggy? No idea where she is.
- [crowd chanting] Abortion is murder!
Excuse the noise.
The nutjobs are in a feeding frenzy today.
[person on phone]
Peggy? Yeah, she called me yesterday.
No, Monday.
Time's mixed up the last few days.
- [volunteer] You said you're her brother?
- No, I'm her husband.
She doesn't have a husband.
Wait, who is this?
And what are you doing with her phone?
[nudist] I wouldn't worry about it.
Yeah, well, I am worried about it,
because it's not like her
to leave her phone.
What's your name, cupcake?
What's your name, fuck bonnet?
- [laughs]
- [nudists chuckle]
[sighs]
[line ringing]
Oh, g...
Ethan. Where's your dad?
He's not coming.
- Thought you were in jail.
- No, no, no. I'm... I'm out.
- [Ethan sighs]
- [horse whinnying]
Okay, well, Dad is,
so you can tell her he's not coming.
Wait-Wait a minute. Your dad's in jail?
Yes.
[whinnying continues]
Well, how are you doing?
Are you holding up okay?
Really good, Denny.
[sighs]
Look, Ethan, your mother is a good woman.
I-I know she's a little complicated,
but she loves you very, very, very much.
So what?
What do you mean, "So what?"
Don't give up on your mother.
- She misses you, and so...
- [call ends]
[groans] Damn it.
Judy. Judy, come here. Judy.
[Heather sobbing, breathing heavily]
Peggy!
- [objects crashing]
- [Heather straining]
[glass shatters]
- [Judy yelps]
- Shh!
[straining, crashing continue]
[heavy object scrapes]
[Heather strains]
- [Heather shouts]
- [objects crash]
- [footsteps]
- [Heather breathing heavily]
[engine revs]
You fucking thief.
This... This is looking like
a homicide, okay? But...
All right, then maybe you can connect me
with another agent at the Bureau
who will take this more seriously.
- Does anyone answer phones?
- I'll call you back.
When's the last time you saw Peggy?
Have you heard from her?
- And who are you?
- We can't find her.
We're pretty fucking sure
she's been kidnapped.
Boom. No signal.
We don't want a signal.
I just said there's no signal.
So, what... What do you want me to do?
Pull over?
What's the matter?
I don't know, do you want pictures?
Yeah, stop. What the fuck?
Why you gotta be such a prick
all the time?
Since the moment I met you,
- you act all patronizing.
- Oh, my God. "Since the moment I met you."
- Are you an imbecile?
- No.
'Cause you act like an imbecile, man.
Stop the fucking car!
- Fine!
- [thudding]
- [Bob] Ow!
- [Peggy] Take it easy!
- Jesus.
- And it's a truck, prick.
Nap time's over.
- I did not kill her.
- No, you both did.
- Come on, ladies first.
- Don't do it.
- Ladies first.
- [Leo] Let's go.
There's yours. And there's yours.
- Okay.
- Let's go. Over there, now!
Pick up the shovels. Start digging. Now.
[Nick] Two of you are some team, you know?
You have "Sylvia" here
bring us Dona's nail,
tell us she knows where the body is, so...
Tina Nail told us
Sylvia found it in your bed.
[Nick] Two of you banging each other
like crazy in my sister's bed.
What, then you kill her?
And now what? You wanna get paid
for showing us where her fucking body is?
Who's this Sylvia?
You put a finger in my bed?
Have you been conning me
since the moment we first met?
Yes, exactly! Right?
- A-A-And when did we first meet?
- A week ago.
See? [scoffs]
We couldn't have killed her together.
No, I mean, I'm telling you,
it was a freak accident.
I got heat exhaustion
and came home early from Burning Man.
[Lionel Richie] Jesus, Bob. [chirping]
[Bob] A Matisse she replicated
sold for a substantial chunk of change.
I thought she'd be flattered.
[Dona] Bob, is that you?
"Dear Bob, fuck you"?
You stole my life's work.
And then you sold it for a fucking tepee!
I prepared the canvases.
That is no small contribution.
I'm leaving, Bob,
and I'm calling the cops.
- Cops?
- Have a good night.
You think I'm worried about the cops?
These are your family's associates.
- They'll kill me!
- Yes.
Dona, it's just a painting.
It's a fucking thing!
Really? My life's work is a thing?
- Really? Okay. Huh.
- [Lionel Richie squawks]
- Here's a thing. [screams]
- Dona. Dona, do not... Dona!
You really should not have done that.
- Why? It's just a thing.
- Hmm.
You know, you were right, Bob.
- Everything is stupid. Mainly you.
- [Bob sighs]
- You with your bush-league anchor job…
- Nice. Mm-hmm.
…and your limp-dick statue
and all this bullshit.
It's so fucking stupid.
- [sniffs] Hmm.
- Yeah.
- Where you going?
- I'm leaving.
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
- Stop! Give me this.
- You are not.
- Give me that. Watch me.
- [Bob] I grabbed her arm…
- Give me it! [screams, grunts]
- …and when she pulled away…
[body tumbling]
[impacts wetly]
- [Bob] Oh, God!
- [Lionel Richie] Oh, God.
- [Bob] Oh, no, no. No, Dona, no.
- [Lionel Richie] No, Dona, no.
- [Bob] Fuck, fuck, fuck.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jesus, fuck.
- [gunshot]
- I don't want to hear it!
Dig!
Okay. Hey. Hey.
I stole the foggy fucking bridge painting
from your ladies' room.
I knew you jacked the goddamn picture.
[Peggy] You wanna know why?
It's worth 750 grand, and I got a buyer.
Today. All cash.
- Bullshit.
- Come on. For a fake?
But it passes for the original. Okay?
Look, this guy, he buys fakes.
[Bob] She... She has a guy.
He has millions,
and you won't get any of it if we die.
How many of those paintings
of Dona's do you have?
Uh, three... teen. Thirteen.
Okay, thirteen. That's like $10 million.
You're full of shit, Sylvia.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
What if she's not?
Okay.
I'm gonna, uh...
I'm gonna give you two hours.
How about that? 120 minutes.
- You get us that kind of cash that quick…
- I can do it.
- I can do it.
- …you can live.
No living.
No living!
Let's set 'em on fire. Right now.
- I'm gonna siphon some fuckin' gas.
- No! No fire.
What are you talking about, "fire"?
No, nobody sets anybody on fire.
Hey, does he ever fucking listen to you?
[scoffs] No.
No. No, no.
He does not ever listen to you.
You know? And as an ex-member
of this family, I can attest.
You know, Nick really feels
that he does all the work
and also feels
that Leo has zero impulse control
and kind of ruins everything,
like, you know,
Christmas and, well, this moment.
But, um, you know,
I love you both equally.
You should know that.
I'd give up a $100 million
to do the both of you right now.
Hey. Come on. Let's just be smart here.
Let's be smart, okay?
Maybe Dona was talented,
and we can make some money from it,
that's all.
That's your flesh and blood.
- [Nick] No, listen to me.
- Move!
Dona died doing what she loved, okay?
She would want that for us.
- [sniffles] Fine.
- Okay. Okay, okay.
- I'll do her first.
- No, no, no!
- [gunshot]
- [Nick] Stop!
- ["Looking for the Magic" playing]
- [Leo, Nick grunting]
I've had it with you!
[shouts]
[groans]
- [gunshot echoes]
- [birds screeching]
[song ends]
[groans]
[sighs] Buzzkill.
[engine starts]
[Bob] Where are you going?
We're going to Pioneertown.
We're late for Kachel.
Bullshit. There is no Kachel.
You're just conning me again.
Get out of the fucking car.
Get in the fucking car. Kachel is real.
- You really have those paintings?
- Yeah.
- Don't fucking lie to me.
- I'm not lying to you.
'Cause we both need money,
but you need it more than I do.
You know why?
'Cause your backyard's
a real fucking problem.
[bird shrieks]
[Carol gasps]
[cell phone buzzes]
- Yeah?
- [Peggy] Hey, Kachel, it's me.
Uh, sorry, we're running late,
but, uh, we'll be there.
Meet us at P-Town.
How late?
Like, 3:00. Can you give me some space?
[Bruce] Hey, am I on a fucking speaker?
- Take it off.
- See?
Take it off or I'm hanging up.
Told you. Give it.
Okay, relax. It's me.
Peggy.
We found Dona's body
in the guru's backyard.
Her skull was shattered.
Look, do me a favor.
Get there in one piece.
Okay. See you there.
He'll be there. Till 3:00.
But he's spooked.
Come on.
[exhales]
[car chirps]
[cell phone ringing]
- Hello?
- [Peggy] I need you to go to my house
and get the painting
out of the hallway closet
and bring it to P-Town.
And I need it by 3:00.
If you don't do this for me, I may die.
Peggy, what is this about?
I just bought two bags of perishables.
[call ends]
- Hello?
- [line beeping]
All right, so you call the cops,
and I'll make sure...
No, I don't call cops.
That's not my thing. Sorry.
Okay, I get that. I'll call.
Where are you going, Nia?
- Why are you digging through my shit?
- I was looking for weed.
- Get in the car.
- [engine starts]
[Cooper] What... So you're a scammer?
Does my dad know?
Get in the fucking car.
I've just got to deal...
I'll catch up with you later.
["I Like To Yodel" playing]
- [goat bleats]
- [cannon whirring]
Where's Tammy?
She's in the bathroom
with a private issue.
- Oh, that feels horrible. [groans, sobs]
- [stammers] Okay, please.
Peggy has put us all into a...
a nightmarish position.
All these people are here to see a play,
or they're here to see somebody
get shot out of a cannon,
or they came here to see
a play and a cannon.
[chuckles]
Either way, none of that is in the offing
because Peggy has let us down. All of us.
I-I take offense to your characterization.
Okay, well, the point is...
No, the point is
Peggy is the beating heart of these people
and this place,
and we will not be defamin' her today.
[stammers, sighs]
I need a hero.
Who's gonna step up? Hmm?
Wh-Who here is gonna make sure
that these people never ever forget ya?
- Okay, $50.
- I'll do it. Shit.
Thank God.
Oh, this is gonna look great on you.
You can do it, Tammy.
Just right on up there.
Looks like you and I have got
something in common.
Peggy Newman.
She's gonna need some help.
- [employee] Get you up there now, okay?
- [Tammy breathes shakily, groans]
- [employee] Whoa! Tammy.
- [Jeannie] Oh, God.
- Someone call a fucking doctor. Shit.
- [Owen] Seriously?
[Jeannie] I thought
you were taking antibiotics, Tammy.
- Push by her back. Her titties are bad.
- [Tammy sobbing] Ow. Shit.
One tit's good.
[announcer shouting in distance]
A human cannonball,
right here in Pioneertown!
[sighs]
[pioneer music playing]
[Peggy] This is some crowd.
Don't draw attention to yourself.
Says the guy with a gun in a doughnut bag.
- [gasps] There's his guy.
- [Denny speaking indistinctly]
Okay, that is not his guy.
That's your guy.
[stammers] My guy is Kachel's guy, okay?
Hey, the painting's coming.
- Great.
- Dianne's bringing it. Where's Kachel?
Kachel? Oh, uh…
He's back there getting
the "shock and awe" T-shirt.
You know how much he hates crowds.
[announcer on loudspeaker, indistinct]
Where's the painting? All right?
Let's make this fast, make the exchange
and go our separate ways, okay?
[Peggy] Ah, there she is.
Thank you for saving my life.
Here. [panting]
Okay. I don't understand this.
You don't need to.
[Dianne]
Oh, why would I need to understand it?
You only call and say you'll be killed
unless I pick up a painting,
a very cumbersome painting, by the way,
and bring it to your dirty,
dusty part-time job.
Who needs to understand it? I don't.
Because you know what, Peggy? I am done.
Once again, I am done.
Okay, where is the money?
What?
It's in the car.
This is a bunch of bullshit.
- [stammers]
- Oh, my God!
Where the hell have you been?
And where's your costume?
Take it down a notch, Owen.
It's been a day.
These people came here to see
the show that you promised…
- I have a weapon.
- …so get in the cannon.
I know, champ.
We've all seen it. It's a big one.
- All right. Here we go.
- [Peggy] I told you I have fibromyalgia.
Plus, we have bigger fish to fry.
[gasps] Oh. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. No, no, of course. Of course.
Why would you possibly do
what you promised?
I don't think I promised.
Then what?
Am I just imagining somebody else
promised me Hamilton in the desert?
- [speaking indistinctly]
- [Owen] Is it someone else
who sold me all those security cameras
that still don't work?
And who was it, Peggy,
that left me with an empty cannon
in the middle of my street?
I-I solved a fucking case. Okay?
I did something. I did something good.
Nobody cares. Nobody notices.
You talk and you talk and you talk,
and you promise the moon,
and all you ever deliver is a grape.
You are such a disappointment, Peggy.
So, um, where's the car?
He's got a gun.
End of the road, Bob.
[announcer speaking
on loudspeaker, indistinct]
[sighs]
- Where's he going?
- I don't know.
It's the desert.
- [sighs]
- Good luck.
You are a selfish, selfish lady.
You are selfish!
Now I know what your mother
must've felt like.
Hey, don't talk to my sister like that.
You don't know anything about her.
When our father left
and took us for every cent our mother had,
it was this lady here
who supported all of us.
And she was just a teenager.
You have no idea everything I've done.
If you did, you would never forgive me.
You're still warm.
Let's take a ride to the hospital, okay?
No, no. No more hospitals.
I can't do it anymore.
She was burning up. She...
She thought she was going to Germany.
My... My plane ticket. I need my ticket.
Can't you do anything?
[Peggy] I shouldn't have left her.
I just fucking went and got high.
[breathing deeply]
[siren wailing]
- [emergency radio chatter]
- [Peggy sobbing]
We're gonna take her now.
[Peggy] Oh.
You're gonna stay with her, right?
She was never alone.
[sobbing continues]
[breathes shakily]
I thought you said you were on a program.
That you were on methadone.
I am. But, hey…
you might as well give me
that fucking cape now.
Thank God. [chuckles]
No, no, no, no! Peggy!
Peggy, what are you doing?
I'm gettin' shot out of a cannon.
For mankind.
Peggy, no! Don't do this.
It's my stage now, Lester.
["Liebestod" playing]
- Right up there.
- [Tammy groaning]
[Dianne] Peggy.
[Owen] Peggy, this is your finest moment.
This is gonna put Pioneertown on the map.
[Peggy grunting, panting]
Okay, Peggy, just bang twice
on the side once you're ready to launch.
The show is about to begin!
Right this way, folks.
Best views are right down there.
The human cannonball of Pioneertown!
Let's do this!
- [Owen] The human cannonball!
- What? No, no, no!
- Ten, nine…
- Stop it, no! Peggy, Peggy!
- [Owen] …eight…
- [Dianne] No!
- [Owen, crowd] …seven, six, five…
- [cannon whirring]
…four…
[music crescendos]
…three…
- two…
- [exhales sharply]
[all] …one!
[sighs]
[cannon blasts]
[music ends]
- [smacks lips]
- [song continues on radio]
- Careful. Careful! Careful!
- Oh!
[tires screeching]
Hey, Martha, I got that 10-32 suspect
traveling east on Old Woman Road.
[Martha] Roger that.
[siren wailing]
[Milton] Goddamn it. [sighs]
Figures. [mutters]
[footsteps approaching]
Hands where I can see 'em.
- What's the problem?
- Step out of the car, ma'am.
I swerved a little. I dropped some onion.
Step out of the car, please.
I think you gotta tell me what for.
A vehicle fitting this description
was involved in a shooting incident.
What shooting incident?
We're just coming back
from a nice vacation on Lake Havasu.
[Heather chewing]
Please step out of the car, ma'am.
I'm eating.
- [Milton] Hey, Martha, I need some backup.
- [Martha] Copy that.
- [radio clicks on]
- ["Toxic" playing]
[volume increases]
- [Heather, Milton screaming, grunting]
- [impact sounds]
- [thuds]
- [gunshot]
[Milton screaming]
No, please! Please, God! No! please!
[gunshot]
[screaming continues]
["Toxic" continues on radio]
Whoa. This is pretty loud.
[sighs]
Son of a bitch tried to shoot me.
[song ends]
Daddy?
- [thuds]
- Daddy!
Daddy!
["Talkin' to Myself" playing]
[knocking]
[Carol] Peggy.
[knocking continues]
Peggy, are you in there?
- [footsteps approaching]
- [Judy whimpering]
- [Carol] Denny.
- [Judy yelps, whining]
- [groans]
- Where's Peggy?
Her car's out front,
but she's not answering the door.
- Nia?
- Shh! It's Carol.
She knows me as Carol.
How the fuck are you here?
It doesn't matter. Where is she?
I got some shit to tie up.
[groans]
Peggy?
Uh, could I get the short answer,
for Chrissake?
[sighs] Her keys are here.
I mean, I'm looking at a ghost.
Why are you here?
[Carol sighs]
I needed some medical care a while ago.
Peggy arranged it
with this very nice doctor,
who was also very handsome,
so I moved in with him.
- And that's his daughter.
- [dog barking]
- [Denny sighs]
- [Cooper] Good girl.
I can't believe
she didn't fucking tell me.
- [Cooper] Stay.
- Who picked the name "Carol"?
- I need to talk to Peggy, Denny.
- No, no, so do I.
[Bob wails]
- No! Guys, come on.
- [Nick] Come on, let's go! [grunts]
- [Bob] I'm your brother-in-law. Come on.
- [Nick] Just stop wiggling, you freak.
[Bob] I wasn't hiding. I was...
I was meditating in the wine cellar.
[Leo] Shut up!
- No. [groaning, struggling]
- There we go.
- Ow! Don't bump my rib.
- [both panting]
Where were you?
I... I took two tabs this morning.
- I am tripping balls.
- I am tripping balls.
Look, maybe it's the best way to go.
Wait. We're gonna die?
[sighs]
They're not taking us to dinner, hon.
[sighs] Fuck.
- They took her.
- Who?
We had a run-in last night with
this strange fucking May-December duo.
Why do you think they took her?
Because her car is in the driveway,
the house is unlocked,
and she left her phone.
No. Other people are in play here, Denny.
It could've been that guru bastard.
That fucking guy?
It could have been the Gattchis.
Wait a... Wait a minute. What do you mean?
The New York Gattchis?
[Carol] None of this is good.
The fuck are you talking about?
That's the guru's backyard
and probably his wife,
who also happened to be a Gattchi.
How did you get this?
Cooper's got a drone.
- Where are you going?
- To get help.
Cooper, we're leaving!
Come on, Peggy. Where the fuck are you?
- [Cooper] Can I drive?
- [Carol] You know you are not driving.
- Peggy? No idea where she is.
- [crowd chanting] Abortion is murder!
Excuse the noise.
The nutjobs are in a feeding frenzy today.
[person on phone]
Peggy? Yeah, she called me yesterday.
No, Monday.
Time's mixed up the last few days.
- [volunteer] You said you're her brother?
- No, I'm her husband.
She doesn't have a husband.
Wait, who is this?
And what are you doing with her phone?
[nudist] I wouldn't worry about it.
Yeah, well, I am worried about it,
because it's not like her
to leave her phone.
What's your name, cupcake?
What's your name, fuck bonnet?
- [laughs]
- [nudists chuckle]
[sighs]
[line ringing]
Oh, g...
Ethan. Where's your dad?
He's not coming.
- Thought you were in jail.
- No, no, no. I'm... I'm out.
- [Ethan sighs]
- [horse whinnying]
Okay, well, Dad is,
so you can tell her he's not coming.
Wait-Wait a minute. Your dad's in jail?
Yes.
[whinnying continues]
Well, how are you doing?
Are you holding up okay?
Really good, Denny.
[sighs]
Look, Ethan, your mother is a good woman.
I-I know she's a little complicated,
but she loves you very, very, very much.
So what?
What do you mean, "So what?"
Don't give up on your mother.
- She misses you, and so...
- [call ends]
[groans] Damn it.
Judy. Judy, come here. Judy.
[Heather sobbing, breathing heavily]
Peggy!
- [objects crashing]
- [Heather straining]
[glass shatters]
- [Judy yelps]
- Shh!
[straining, crashing continue]
[heavy object scrapes]
[Heather strains]
- [Heather shouts]
- [objects crash]
- [footsteps]
- [Heather breathing heavily]
[engine revs]
You fucking thief.
This... This is looking like
a homicide, okay? But...
All right, then maybe you can connect me
with another agent at the Bureau
who will take this more seriously.
- Does anyone answer phones?
- I'll call you back.
When's the last time you saw Peggy?
Have you heard from her?
- And who are you?
- We can't find her.
We're pretty fucking sure
she's been kidnapped.
Boom. No signal.
We don't want a signal.
I just said there's no signal.
So, what... What do you want me to do?
Pull over?
What's the matter?
I don't know, do you want pictures?
Yeah, stop. What the fuck?
Why you gotta be such a prick
all the time?
Since the moment I met you,
- you act all patronizing.
- Oh, my God. "Since the moment I met you."
- Are you an imbecile?
- No.
'Cause you act like an imbecile, man.
Stop the fucking car!
- Fine!
- [thudding]
- [Bob] Ow!
- [Peggy] Take it easy!
- Jesus.
- And it's a truck, prick.
Nap time's over.
- I did not kill her.
- No, you both did.
- Come on, ladies first.
- Don't do it.
- Ladies first.
- [Leo] Let's go.
There's yours. And there's yours.
- Okay.
- Let's go. Over there, now!
Pick up the shovels. Start digging. Now.
[Nick] Two of you are some team, you know?
You have "Sylvia" here
bring us Dona's nail,
tell us she knows where the body is, so...
Tina Nail told us
Sylvia found it in your bed.
[Nick] Two of you banging each other
like crazy in my sister's bed.
What, then you kill her?
And now what? You wanna get paid
for showing us where her fucking body is?
Who's this Sylvia?
You put a finger in my bed?
Have you been conning me
since the moment we first met?
Yes, exactly! Right?
- A-A-And when did we first meet?
- A week ago.
See? [scoffs]
We couldn't have killed her together.
No, I mean, I'm telling you,
it was a freak accident.
I got heat exhaustion
and came home early from Burning Man.
[Lionel Richie] Jesus, Bob. [chirping]
[Bob] A Matisse she replicated
sold for a substantial chunk of change.
I thought she'd be flattered.
[Dona] Bob, is that you?
"Dear Bob, fuck you"?
You stole my life's work.
And then you sold it for a fucking tepee!
I prepared the canvases.
That is no small contribution.
I'm leaving, Bob,
and I'm calling the cops.
- Cops?
- Have a good night.
You think I'm worried about the cops?
These are your family's associates.
- They'll kill me!
- Yes.
Dona, it's just a painting.
It's a fucking thing!
Really? My life's work is a thing?
- Really? Okay. Huh.
- [Lionel Richie squawks]
- Here's a thing. [screams]
- Dona. Dona, do not... Dona!
You really should not have done that.
- Why? It's just a thing.
- Hmm.
You know, you were right, Bob.
- Everything is stupid. Mainly you.
- [Bob sighs]
- You with your bush-league anchor job…
- Nice. Mm-hmm.
…and your limp-dick statue
and all this bullshit.
It's so fucking stupid.
- [sniffs] Hmm.
- Yeah.
- Where you going?
- I'm leaving.
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am.
- Stop! Give me this.
- You are not.
- Give me that. Watch me.
- [Bob] I grabbed her arm…
- Give me it! [screams, grunts]
- …and when she pulled away…
[body tumbling]
[impacts wetly]
- [Bob] Oh, God!
- [Lionel Richie] Oh, God.
- [Bob] Oh, no, no. No, Dona, no.
- [Lionel Richie] No, Dona, no.
- [Bob] Fuck, fuck, fuck.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jesus, fuck.
- [gunshot]
- I don't want to hear it!
Dig!
Okay. Hey. Hey.
I stole the foggy fucking bridge painting
from your ladies' room.
I knew you jacked the goddamn picture.
[Peggy] You wanna know why?
It's worth 750 grand, and I got a buyer.
Today. All cash.
- Bullshit.
- Come on. For a fake?
But it passes for the original. Okay?
Look, this guy, he buys fakes.
[Bob] She... She has a guy.
He has millions,
and you won't get any of it if we die.
How many of those paintings
of Dona's do you have?
Uh, three... teen. Thirteen.
Okay, thirteen. That's like $10 million.
You're full of shit, Sylvia.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
What if she's not?
Okay.
I'm gonna, uh...
I'm gonna give you two hours.
How about that? 120 minutes.
- You get us that kind of cash that quick…
- I can do it.
- I can do it.
- …you can live.
No living.
No living!
Let's set 'em on fire. Right now.
- I'm gonna siphon some fuckin' gas.
- No! No fire.
What are you talking about, "fire"?
No, nobody sets anybody on fire.
Hey, does he ever fucking listen to you?
[scoffs] No.
No. No, no.
He does not ever listen to you.
You know? And as an ex-member
of this family, I can attest.
You know, Nick really feels
that he does all the work
and also feels
that Leo has zero impulse control
and kind of ruins everything,
like, you know,
Christmas and, well, this moment.
But, um, you know,
I love you both equally.
You should know that.
I'd give up a $100 million
to do the both of you right now.
Hey. Come on. Let's just be smart here.
Let's be smart, okay?
Maybe Dona was talented,
and we can make some money from it,
that's all.
That's your flesh and blood.
- [Nick] No, listen to me.
- Move!
Dona died doing what she loved, okay?
She would want that for us.
- [sniffles] Fine.
- Okay. Okay, okay.
- I'll do her first.
- No, no, no!
- [gunshot]
- [Nick] Stop!
- ["Looking for the Magic" playing]
- [Leo, Nick grunting]
I've had it with you!
[shouts]
[groans]
- [gunshot echoes]
- [birds screeching]
[song ends]
[groans]
[sighs] Buzzkill.
[engine starts]
[Bob] Where are you going?
We're going to Pioneertown.
We're late for Kachel.
Bullshit. There is no Kachel.
You're just conning me again.
Get out of the fucking car.
Get in the fucking car. Kachel is real.
- You really have those paintings?
- Yeah.
- Don't fucking lie to me.
- I'm not lying to you.
'Cause we both need money,
but you need it more than I do.
You know why?
'Cause your backyard's
a real fucking problem.
[bird shrieks]
[Carol gasps]
[cell phone buzzes]
- Yeah?
- [Peggy] Hey, Kachel, it's me.
Uh, sorry, we're running late,
but, uh, we'll be there.
Meet us at P-Town.
How late?
Like, 3:00. Can you give me some space?
[Bruce] Hey, am I on a fucking speaker?
- Take it off.
- See?
Take it off or I'm hanging up.
Told you. Give it.
Okay, relax. It's me.
Peggy.
We found Dona's body
in the guru's backyard.
Her skull was shattered.
Look, do me a favor.
Get there in one piece.
Okay. See you there.
He'll be there. Till 3:00.
But he's spooked.
Come on.
[exhales]
[car chirps]
[cell phone ringing]
- Hello?
- [Peggy] I need you to go to my house
and get the painting
out of the hallway closet
and bring it to P-Town.
And I need it by 3:00.
If you don't do this for me, I may die.
Peggy, what is this about?
I just bought two bags of perishables.
[call ends]
- Hello?
- [line beeping]
All right, so you call the cops,
and I'll make sure...
No, I don't call cops.
That's not my thing. Sorry.
Okay, I get that. I'll call.
Where are you going, Nia?
- Why are you digging through my shit?
- I was looking for weed.
- Get in the car.
- [engine starts]
[Cooper] What... So you're a scammer?
Does my dad know?
Get in the fucking car.
I've just got to deal...
I'll catch up with you later.
["I Like To Yodel" playing]
- [goat bleats]
- [cannon whirring]
Where's Tammy?
She's in the bathroom
with a private issue.
- Oh, that feels horrible. [groans, sobs]
- [stammers] Okay, please.
Peggy has put us all into a...
a nightmarish position.
All these people are here to see a play,
or they're here to see somebody
get shot out of a cannon,
or they came here to see
a play and a cannon.
[chuckles]
Either way, none of that is in the offing
because Peggy has let us down. All of us.
I-I take offense to your characterization.
Okay, well, the point is...
No, the point is
Peggy is the beating heart of these people
and this place,
and we will not be defamin' her today.
[stammers, sighs]
I need a hero.
Who's gonna step up? Hmm?
Wh-Who here is gonna make sure
that these people never ever forget ya?
- Okay, $50.
- I'll do it. Shit.
Thank God.
Oh, this is gonna look great on you.
You can do it, Tammy.
Just right on up there.
Looks like you and I have got
something in common.
Peggy Newman.
She's gonna need some help.
- [employee] Get you up there now, okay?
- [Tammy breathes shakily, groans]
- [employee] Whoa! Tammy.
- [Jeannie] Oh, God.
- Someone call a fucking doctor. Shit.
- [Owen] Seriously?
[Jeannie] I thought
you were taking antibiotics, Tammy.
- Push by her back. Her titties are bad.
- [Tammy sobbing] Ow. Shit.
One tit's good.
[announcer shouting in distance]
A human cannonball,
right here in Pioneertown!
[sighs]
[pioneer music playing]
[Peggy] This is some crowd.
Don't draw attention to yourself.
Says the guy with a gun in a doughnut bag.
- [gasps] There's his guy.
- [Denny speaking indistinctly]
Okay, that is not his guy.
That's your guy.
[stammers] My guy is Kachel's guy, okay?
Hey, the painting's coming.
- Great.
- Dianne's bringing it. Where's Kachel?
Kachel? Oh, uh…
He's back there getting
the "shock and awe" T-shirt.
You know how much he hates crowds.
[announcer on loudspeaker, indistinct]
Where's the painting? All right?
Let's make this fast, make the exchange
and go our separate ways, okay?
[Peggy] Ah, there she is.
Thank you for saving my life.
Here. [panting]
Okay. I don't understand this.
You don't need to.
[Dianne]
Oh, why would I need to understand it?
You only call and say you'll be killed
unless I pick up a painting,
a very cumbersome painting, by the way,
and bring it to your dirty,
dusty part-time job.
Who needs to understand it? I don't.
Because you know what, Peggy? I am done.
Once again, I am done.
Okay, where is the money?
What?
It's in the car.
This is a bunch of bullshit.
- [stammers]
- Oh, my God!
Where the hell have you been?
And where's your costume?
Take it down a notch, Owen.
It's been a day.
These people came here to see
the show that you promised…
- I have a weapon.
- …so get in the cannon.
I know, champ.
We've all seen it. It's a big one.
- All right. Here we go.
- [Peggy] I told you I have fibromyalgia.
Plus, we have bigger fish to fry.
[gasps] Oh. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. No, no, of course. Of course.
Why would you possibly do
what you promised?
I don't think I promised.
Then what?
Am I just imagining somebody else
promised me Hamilton in the desert?
- [speaking indistinctly]
- [Owen] Is it someone else
who sold me all those security cameras
that still don't work?
And who was it, Peggy,
that left me with an empty cannon
in the middle of my street?
I-I solved a fucking case. Okay?
I did something. I did something good.
Nobody cares. Nobody notices.
You talk and you talk and you talk,
and you promise the moon,
and all you ever deliver is a grape.
You are such a disappointment, Peggy.
So, um, where's the car?
He's got a gun.
End of the road, Bob.
[announcer speaking
on loudspeaker, indistinct]
[sighs]
- Where's he going?
- I don't know.
It's the desert.
- [sighs]
- Good luck.
You are a selfish, selfish lady.
You are selfish!
Now I know what your mother
must've felt like.
Hey, don't talk to my sister like that.
You don't know anything about her.
When our father left
and took us for every cent our mother had,
it was this lady here
who supported all of us.
And she was just a teenager.
You have no idea everything I've done.
If you did, you would never forgive me.
You're still warm.
Let's take a ride to the hospital, okay?
No, no. No more hospitals.
I can't do it anymore.
She was burning up. She...
She thought she was going to Germany.
My... My plane ticket. I need my ticket.
Can't you do anything?
[Peggy] I shouldn't have left her.
I just fucking went and got high.
[breathing deeply]
[siren wailing]
- [emergency radio chatter]
- [Peggy sobbing]
We're gonna take her now.
[Peggy] Oh.
You're gonna stay with her, right?
She was never alone.
[sobbing continues]
[breathes shakily]
I thought you said you were on a program.
That you were on methadone.
I am. But, hey…
you might as well give me
that fucking cape now.
Thank God. [chuckles]
No, no, no, no! Peggy!
Peggy, what are you doing?
I'm gettin' shot out of a cannon.
For mankind.
Peggy, no! Don't do this.
It's my stage now, Lester.
["Liebestod" playing]
- Right up there.
- [Tammy groaning]
[Dianne] Peggy.
[Owen] Peggy, this is your finest moment.
This is gonna put Pioneertown on the map.
[Peggy grunting, panting]
Okay, Peggy, just bang twice
on the side once you're ready to launch.
The show is about to begin!
Right this way, folks.
Best views are right down there.
The human cannonball of Pioneertown!
Let's do this!
- [Owen] The human cannonball!
- What? No, no, no!
- Ten, nine…
- Stop it, no! Peggy, Peggy!
- [Owen] …eight…
- [Dianne] No!
- [Owen, crowd] …seven, six, five…
- [cannon whirring]
…four…
[music crescendos]
…three…
- two…
- [exhales sharply]
[all] …one!
[sighs]
[cannon blasts]
[music ends]