Good Grief (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - A Matter of Life and Death: Part One - full transcript

-The school board
met this morning,

and the decision has been made

to terminate your contract
effective immediately.

-I was under the impression
the suspension was temporary.

Can I make an appeal?

-You could, but the
PTA are all over this,

and I just think it's
best for everyone

if you don't come back.

-Don't come back ever?

-Yeah.

Are you there?
- Hurry up, Ellie. It reeks.



-I beg your pardon?

-Sorry. That was
just my sister.

Uh, I guess it just
feels like a big reaction

to one small mistake.

- I'm sorry you feel that way.
- Uh, wrap it up.

-Okay.

Uh, well, thank you
for letting me know,

and I guess I'll be in touch.

-Ugh. Okay.

Do you want me to pretend
like I didn't hear that?

-It's fine.

I can't worry about
that right now.

-Hey, what, what? No,
no, no. Don't do that.

Stop doing that. You're...
you're not a surgeon.



-Gwen, you don't
need to be surgeon.

You don't even need
to have a license.

-Um, isn't this
someone else's job?

-Koro taught me how to
embalm when I was, like, 15.

We have to cut costs.

It's just like riding a bike.

-Is it supposed to
smell like that?

-Stop being so precious.

-No, no, I'm being serious.

Like, is that what
he smells like?

Or is it, um...

Is that what
everything smells like?

Like, is that just
the smell of death?

- Oh, fudge.
- What's... what's going on?

-He's blocked up.

I just need to
relieve some pressure.

-[Gags]

-Um...

-Ugh.

-Ooh.

[ "Sylvia-Pizzicato" playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Utensils clanging]

-They should have talked to me
before setting up this meeting.

I've got things to do.

-I added Alice as a
friend on Facebook.

- Her name's Amba.
- Is it?

- [Laughs]
- Oh.

What are you giggling about?

-Nothing. It's one of those
try-not-to-laugh compilations,

but, uh, I laughed.

- Morning there, team.
- Oh, welcome.

Thanks for coming.
Grab a seat.

-Oh, I'm gonna talk, so...

-Oh, you've got
something to say?

-Yeah, that's why I
called the meeting.

-Oh. All right. Well,
uh, everyone, um,

Ellie's gonna say some words.

-I'm not sure if you
guys have all met Gwen.

-Hi. For some reason, Koro also
gave me half of this place,

so I guess I'm kind
of like your boss.

- She's not your boss.
- Ah.

- We're all equals.
- Mm.

-This is weird, isn't it, being
here without Granddad Hemi?

Um, I know that
Granddad loved you all,

and while Gwen and
I weren't expecting

to inherit Loving Tributes,

we're gonna do our best
to make sure that...

- [Sighs]
- What a man, mm.

-Pardon?

-Uh, Hemi. Um, such a loss.

-Must be so hard for you girls.

-Uh, well, I didn't
really hang out with him,

but, um, yeah, he was
closer with Ellie.

- Anyway, I...
- I've actually prepared

some saveloys in his memory,
so is now a good time?

-Uh, maybe in a wee bit.

-Of course, of
course, of course!

- Cheers!
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Here we go.

- Aw, thank you.
- Wow. Breakfast of champions.

- Yummy.
- So, as grateful as we are

for this very special
opportunity...

- These are great.
- Pot of boiling water.

-I love the ones that
just, like, split,

and then it's like you
get way more sausage.

-Now that I'm managing director,

I've had to make
some tough decisions.

-Managing director? I
thought you were a teacher.

-I am. I'm just
taking a break.

-Why are you taking a break?

-Mm.

-Noah Dudley Cox, out
of the tree, please,

you little cunt.

-Aah!

Ah! Oh.

-Hey, Freddie. You
okay? You all right?

How's your arm?
It's okay, isn't it?

-What did you say?

-I didn't say
anything, sweetheart.

I think you've got... You
might have bumped your head.

And you're so brave.
Don't tell anyone.

Yeah, I-I love children, um,
but right now, this is my focus.

- Well, that's nice.
- So, we...

-I'll fill you in.

I'm Dean Dulche.

- Isn't your last name Futch?
- Yep.

I'm an entertainer,
actor, singer, dancer.

I'm also a qualified
funeral director/celebrant.

That means I do everything
from the embalming to emceeing.

I'm also Hemi's choice,
see, so when he passed,

I kind of naturally took
on more responsibilities.

- Mm.
- He trusted me with his life.

- And now he's dead.
- Hmm?

-Hey?

-Shares, would you like to
tell them about yourself?

-It's all right, Sharyn.
You don't need to.

- Oh, call me Shares.
- Okay.

-I'm executive catering manager.

Hemi called me the Kai Queen.

- Aw.
- [Chuckles]

-He ate so many saveloys,

even after the
doctor banned him.

I'm a Virgo, so
great on a budget.

Um, I'm a big Ronan Keating fan.

Um, last year, my
brother lost his leg

to meningitis.

-Okay. Thank you.

So there is something
that we need to...

-Well, you haven't
heard from, um...

- Oh, I'm Beau.
- Beau.

-Hemi hired me as
the hearse driver

after he lost his license,

and then he just kept giving
me jobs like, um, maintenance

and... and landscaping.
- Landscaping.

- He was like a brother to me...
- Mm.

- just really old.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Mm, yeah.
- Yeah.

-Yeah. Oh, and I
also have my...

I make my own T-shirts.

Um, this one's an
original, so...

-Yeah, yes. Cool.
Okay, so there...

-Sorry, so what
are you gonna do?

-Me? Not much,
'cause we're selling.

I'm gonna be a DJ in Bali.

-Wait, sorry. Selling what?

-Selling Loving Tributes.

-A-Are we gonna lose our jobs?

- Maybe.
- No, no, no, no, no.

Okay, so that's not how...
- Hello?

Hello?

-I...

-Ah, excuse me.
We've been waiting.

-I'll be right with you. Yeah.

-There's a client.
Please come with me.

I need your help.

-Hi.

-Um, right this way.

Why would you do that?
Why would you say that?

-There's no nice way to do it.

-Couldn't it wait
until we find a buyer?

We have to work
with these people.

-Wait. No, I'm
not working here.

I don't like working in general

and definitely not
with dead people.

- Just in here.
- Thanks.

-Thanks.

Thank you.

What did you think
was happening?

-Um, well, I guess I thought
that you would do the mucking

and then give me half the money.

I wish I didn't come in now.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- What does this mean for me?

-Yeah, we'll need to talk
about that, but after this.

-Okay. Well, I've already
started talking to Kerry

on the way, so...
- No, no, no.

I... I've got it. Thanks.
- Okay, cool.

Well, I'll head out.
- No, no, no.

I need you to go grab tea and...

-[Whispering] I
don't work here.

You have sores on your face.
- I didn't eat any.

-Ooh, yucky.

- That's not sores.
- That's not.

[Door closes]

Do you know where the tea is?

-Yeah, it's in the kitchen
in a container marked "tea."

-Hi. How are you?

Oh, I'm Ellie, the
managing director.

-What happened to Dean?

-Dean was just
holding down the fort,

but now I'm here, and
we're here to help.

-Well, I hope there won't be
any more chopping and changing.

To be honest, our uncle's
funeral was at Trinity Meadows,

and it was just perfect,

but sadly, they
were fully booked.

-We just want to make sure Dad
gets the send-off he deserves.

-Absolutely... Kerry.

-Absolutely.

-Did the suit we
gave you fit Dad?

-Yes.

[Equipment humming softly]

He looks very dapper.

- Sorry.
- Oh, no. Of course.

-Ah.

- Thanks.
- Oh. Oh.

There's no tissues?
- Oh, sorry.

Gwen, could you grab us
some more tissues, please?

-Sure, yeah, I've got a whole
box right up my asshole.

- Oh!
- Oh! Oh.

-Do you not want it?

Is she gonna do that again
if I get her another one?

-Thanks, Gwen. That's all.

-What about the tissues?

-Yes, could you please
grab us those tissues?

-Jesus Christ.

-Was there anything else?

-Uh, Dad loved golf.

We have the, uh, Tiger
Woods quote in the eulogy,

but he just loved it so much.

We want Dad to be buried
with his golf clubs.

I mean, none of us play, but...

-Well, I play.

-It's not about you, Kerry.

-Buried with his
clubs. We'll...

We'll take care of it.

-I don't know where
anything is, so...

there's that.

♪♪

-Do you...?

-Thank you.

♪♪

♪♪

-Maybe the one old killed him.

- Gwen.
- You're right.

She could never hold a whip
and with hands that shaky.

[Chuckles]

-I get it... This
is a joke to you,

but you actually
have a job to do.

-I didn't apply for it.

I barely even knew Koro.

Clearly, this place was meant
for you, but then he felt guilty

and realized he had nothing
else cool to give me.

-I know that you
want to go to Bali,

but how many people do you
think are in the market

for a funeral home?

It's gonna take time,
and I need you to help.

-You've got it under control.

You spent an unhealthy
amount of time here as a kid.

Whose fedora?

-Yeah, well, as much as
Koro loved this place,

he wasn't exactly
business-savvy.

I found loose teeth
in his desk drawer.

- Histeeth?
- I don't know.

I'm just popping
out for a wee bit.

-Wait, where are you going?

Wait for me.

Wait up.

Where are you going?
- To a thing.

- What thing?
- Just stay here.

-I don't want to be left
here with these people!

Hello, Sharyn.
- Hi!

-Hi. Wait for me! Wait.

Hi, Ben.
- Hi, Gwennie.

Hi, beautiful. How
was your first day?

-Hi. Mwah.

-Oh, I've already
been sick today, so...

-Sorry, I'm just
really fed out today.

-Oh, sorry. I-I just
thought you might be hungry,

so I-I got you some
low-pulp juice...

- Oh!
- Um, some brown rice,

double evo, and I
know it's not Friday,

but I got you a choccy
'cause you're menstruating.

-Aw, that's sweet. Thank you.

Did you remember to
hang the washing up?

- No, sorry. I forgot.
- It's gonna smell now.

-It's okay. I'll...
I'll tell the firm

I'll take an extra long
lunch, and I'll pop home.

-It's fine. I'll do it. It'll
need to go through again.

Okay, bye.
- How's it all going?

-Okay, see you.

-Don't take it personally.
She got fired this morning.

- Oh, sweetie!
- It's fine, Ben.

It's fine. I'm
gonna appeal it.

You just do the washing, okay?

- You don't want me to do the...
- Oh, fine.

I'll do it.

Gosh.
- Where are we going?

- Just stay here.
- I'm not staying here.

I'm coming.
- [Sighs]

-Unlock my door.

Hey, unlock my door!
I will make a scene.

[Shouting indistinctly]

Can I wear these?
- Window.

[Window whirring]

-I forgot to tell you...

I went to the movies
the other day,

and I sat down, and
I got comfortable,

and then I realized I was
sitting next to David Bain.

Yeah, and I was
like, "Oh, my God.

If I get up, David Bain's gonna
know that I think he did it,"

and, like, you just don't want
to make someone like that angry,

you know?

He is such a loud eater.

- Ugh. That's horrible.
- Mm.

-So, is Tyler gonna
go to Bali with you?

- Who's Tyler?
- Wasn't his name Tyler?

-Oh, Tyler.

No, he's in a coma.

Not, like, a bad one.

Ellie, where are we?

Who died?
- No one.

Well, someone, obviously,
but no one we know.

- So why are we here?
- Research.

Kerry Mulley said they're
the best in the biz,

so I just wanted
to pop my head in,

but there's a funeral on, so
I'll have to come back later.

-Trinity Meadows... What
does that even mean?

That's dumber than our name.

-Yeah, well, they're
fully booked.

What... What are you doing?
- Let me out.

I don't want to go
back to your work.

-No, no, no. We're leaving.
[Back-up indicator beeping]

-Ellie, I think there's
someone behind you, so don't...

- No.
- Just hang on a second

'cause... oh, Ellie!

What is wrong with you?

I'm pretty sure
there's someone there.

Hang on. Hang on! Just stop!

[Car horn honks] Ellie!

Stop. Stop.

-We're not going in.

Somebody died. It's
very disrespectful.

-Not if you're using it as a way

to make Peter's funeral better.

-His name's Phillip.

-Stop!

Your driving has drawn
a lot of attention.

[Back-up indicator beeping]

But it's okay 'cause
you're grieving.

-What?

-Play along. Come
on. It'll be fun.

And it beats being
back in the office.

Ah!
- Oh, no, no, no!

No!

- Come on.
- Gwen.

-Let's crash a funeral.

♪♪

-Please, stop! No, no.

Please, please,
please. No, no.

Please. Stop, stop.

Just, what if we get caught?

-We don't know these people.

And I have to say goodbye!

[Sobs dramatically]

-Get up, get up.

-Oh, come on!

[Continues sobbing dramatically]

Oh, my God!
- Stop it.

-Supporting local content
so you can see more

of New Zealand On Air.

♪♪