Final Space (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Chapter Three - full transcript

Gary tries to hide Mooncake safely away on the planet Yarno. But instead, Gary and Avocato are trapped in a terrifying mind-puzzle, while Mooncake is taken from them, and forced to fight in a combat arena called the Deathcropolis.

...and save Avocato's son, Little Cato.

What are they going to do?
Where are they going to hide?

I have no idea.

That's why we're watching
this episode, y'all!

You have 7 minutes of oxygen left, Gary.

Phew. Look, it's Carl.
Carl, how's life?

Carl is dead, Gary.

Classic Carl.
That bastard owes me 25 bucks.

- Mayday, mayday!
- Can you clean that up, HUE?

I can try.
There is quite a bit of interference.

- We need help!
- Any idea who it is?

No, Gary.
I'm afraid not.

Well, maybe I can help these...

Actually, I'll just chill over here.

1x03 - Chapter Three

For you!
This will help.

What is this? Who's there?

Your father is a coward!

My father will come for me,
and he will kill you

if I don't first.
Yah! Ow.

Quinn, do I look any different?

I should because you're looking

at the most wanted man in the galaxy.

Oh, look who it is!

- Avocato, come say hi to Quinn.
- No.

He's a bit of a grouch,
but his son has been kidnapped.

Yeah. I know.

Anyways, big development!
I have a robot arm.

Look at this!
Oh, my god! How do I...

Ahh! Ahh! Oh!

I think that's all I have for you today.
Uh... give me a call, Quinn.

Oh, I almost forgot.
In four days, I'm a free man.

What do you say when I turn...

Proximity alert.
Proximity alert.

Gary, we are taking fire

from the Lord Commander's
heavy incinerators.

Grab it firm.
What do we do, HUE?

Calculating. I am detecting
an incursion in our proximity.

- A what?
- A temporal worm, Gary.

It's your only option.

A temporal worm could send
us backwards or forwards

thousands of years in time, Gary.

Are you sure that's
the only choice we have?

Feed us to it!



Mm, pressed hams.

That was wondrous!

How about covering up
that dick situation

- you've got going there? Jeez.
- In good time.

Speaking of which, when are we?


Gary, we have jumped
four days into the future.

Wait. What? That means my last
four days of jail are up.

Right, HUE? Open sesame!
Unlock my bounty!

Clause nine of your
imprisonment stipulates that all

time-related disruptions have
zero effect on your sentence.

What? So no chocolate
treasure coins?

Are you referring to cookies, Gary?

- Yes!
- Oh, then no.

This is a load, HUE, a load!

Listen, Gary.
We're marked targets,

and no matter what hole we hide in,
the Lord Commander will

find us in our hole
and take Mooncake from that hole.

I know that's a whole lot of holes,

but we're in a whole lot of trouble.

- HUE?
- Avocato is correct.

We need to hide him
until we figure things out.

Look. I've heard of a place
that safeguards fugitives.

The closest one is on Yarno.
No one will find him there.

HUE, spool up the engines.
We're going to Yarno.


Helper Hula, I've always
respected the Order of the 12

being the eyes of the universe.

Where is E 35-1?!

Ah! You're dying!

Dying? Really, genius?
I know I'm dying!

Every time you use your light,
you quicken your own death.

That's why I need Mooncake,
or whatever that idiot calls him.

I need him to live.
Tell me where he is.


That wasn't very helpful.


You will find him for me,
or next time I finish the job.

Gworplo! I'm Zargon Tukalishi,
and welcome to Yarn...

Looks like they've made
some changes around here.

You don't say, because the Deathcropolis

just sounded like
a lovely church picnic.

Don't worry, Mooncake.

We got this.

homemade moonobumps.

Oh, sweet!
They're just handing out free candy!

Wow. Whoa.

Oh, oh,
he has a Popsicle now!


I feel so replenished.

Oh, wow.
Oh! Just what is this?!

There's a dart sticking
out of my chesticles!

Can you not take crap
from weird alien skeevoids?

Noted, "Do not take
crap from skeevoids."

- Ugh.
- Ahh!

There's a quantum
gravitational disturbance

emanating two parsecs from Jupiter.

If my math is right,
all our lives might depend...

Quinn, it's Triborn.
Don't worry. I'm at your place.

Everything is okay, but super bad news.

You're not going to like it.

In fact, I don't know
what happened to all the like.

Where did all the like go?

- Tell me, already!
- I will tell you, already.

Superior Stone dispatched
an Imperium cruiser

yesterday to apprehend you

because you kind of broke
a lot of laws, like 47 laws.

Why didn't you tell me sooner?!

Why didn't I tell you sooner?
That is the question, isn't it?

The answer, I've been busy.

Are you touching my stuff?

Why would I be touching your stuff.

It makes me look
so dreamy and beautiful.

I would never be touching
your beautiful stuff.

Quinn, an Imperium cruiser
is closing in on your position.

- This is the place, Gary.
- This is the place?

This, right here, is the place?

I'm not going down there.

Welcome, friends, to the
Order of 12 Yarno chapter...

a representative will meet you shortly.

- How can I...
- Jeez!

- You got me.
- Are you a helper?

Oh, no.
I assist the helpers.

So you're a helper-helper?

I will tell him you have...

Guy straight up ghosted
through that wall.

- Live with it.
- I can't. The guy just ghosted

- through that wall, yo. Ahh!
- How can I help?

- We love to help.
- Thanks.

Well, we need to find a safe
place for my little buddy.

We're at capacity.


But we could always squeeze in one more.

- Such a precious specimen.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

C-Can you say that just
a little less creepy-like?

Okay. I guess not.

- Mooncake.
- Chocatey?

No one's saying
goodbye, here. Okay?

I'll be back as soon as I can.

It's only temporary.
I promise.

Chocatey pah.

Gary, he'll be fine.
He can take care of himself.

By the way, I never got
your name, mister...

- Stevil.
- Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Pump the breaks.

Okay. The freaking guy
has "evil" in his name.

I'm not handing Mooncake over
to a guy freaking named Stevil!

- Stevil is a bit alarming.
- It is a bit alarming!

We only want to help!

Avocato, let's find another place.

- Let's go.
- Stop!

Okay. This is full-blown
banshee screech, alarming!

- Mooncake!
- Sleep.

Alert High Helper Hula
we have been most helpful.

Stevil lived right up
to the evil in his name!

Look! We made it to the super
safe oblivion amusement park

of never-ending unsafe stairs!

What fun!
Thanks, Avocato.

It's a Lazarus trap.

Only master trap-makers
can make these,

and people who really like stairs.

At least we're not sinking into, like,
a lake of lava or something.

Listen to me. Anything we think
of becomes reality. Okay?

Right. Okay. So we've
got to think positive.

Ooh, ooh! Cookies!

- No!
- Hey!

Eat me! I'm delicious!
I'm a cookie!

It's not like I'm imagining

murderous killing confections?

I'm going to kill you.

Everybody is super excited

about today's sacrifices
at the Deathcropolis.


But you're not being sacrificed.

The Lord Commander needs you.

- What is he doing?
- Chocatey pah!

Quinn Airgon, we have
orders to arrest you

for aerial grand theft.

- Chuck?
- Yes. This is Chuck.

Now, please surrender,
and this all goes away.

Listen, jerk nuts.

Did she just call me jerk nuts?

Oh. Okay, yeah...
Yeah. I think you are under arrest.

Hey! Douche canoe,
not happening.

God. You said, "Douche canoe."

All right. Listen, Quinn...

No. You listen.

I'm trying to save the world, here.

So you're going to turn
your vessel around

and forget you ever saw me.

- Dude, are you crying?
- No. No, I'm not crying.

It's space pollen.

Ah, ah, ah!
Didn't say the magic word!

Aaah! Why am I the only one
covered in cookies?

- You have no cookies!
- Gary, de-think the cookies!

Not sure that's possible.
I'm a very creative guy.

Like, wouldn't it be cool
if they had, like, laser eyes?

Aah! Run!

- Oh, my God!
- Think of something else!

- Anything else!
- What, like tridents?

- No! No!
- Yeah! Yes!

No! Not like tridents!

I'm thinking about
little trident-wielding

laser-shooting death cookies!

I'm thinking of nothing,
nothing, nothing.

Oh! Whoa! Oh!
Oh, my gosh.

- I'm going to eat your eyes out.
- And pee in your sockets!

You're never going to leave this place.

Why is that one cookie
lone-wolfing it across the edge?

Oh! He's leaping! Whoa!
He's like an angel!

- Oh, my God...
- I'm going to kill you!

It's stabbing my eyes!


Chocatey pah!

To the ones who live
for the ones who die!

It's not fair.
I've been good.

I help people.

I've been patient, unbelievably patient!

Oh, Lord Commander!
I brought your medicine, sir!

I put a little biscuit on the side,

just for you, my special little prince.

- What is this?
- Ugh! Gah!

I like the much littler
kind of biscuits.

I have told you this, Eric.

I told you this!

We have been most helpful.

We have found Mooncake.

My patience paid off.

The more you kill,

the more the Twelve Titans
beyond rejoice.

Gary, we need to wake up.
Close your eyes.

You want me to wake up
by closing my eyes?

- That doesn't make any sense!
- Nothing makes any sense in here!

All right. Good point.
Okay. I'm closing my eyes.

It's not working.

- Hi, Gary.
- Quinn?

It's been a long time.

- Come here. I missed you.
- Is it really you?


- Gary...
- Get off me!

It's part of the trap.

Gary, don't listen to him.

You need to trust me.
She isn't real.

Are we going home, dad?

Trust me, buddy.
We both need to wake up.

I don't want to wake up.

Then you're really not
going to want this.

We're out! I saved us.

- No, I saved you.
- And I, you.

- No, you didn't.
- But I did.

- You almost got us killed, Gary.
- Then we're even.

We've got to find Mooncake!

Gary, I told you Mooncake
is going to be okay.

- He's a super weapon.
- Wrong!

Little green ball friend
is a harmless gumball of love!

- HUE, you there?
- Where have you been, Gary?

It would sound too insane
to even explain.

Can you lock into Mooncake's location?

- Ugh!
- Uh, Gary?

Little buddy.

The final sacrifice awaits.

Kill! Kill!
Kill! Kill!

Hello, Mooncake.
I have been looking all over for you.

Don't be shy.

Come in and say hello.


How did I become so weak?

- Mooncake!
- Doot, doot, doot, doot!

- Chocatey!
- Oh!

- Gary!
- It's over, The Gary.

It's just "Gary."

What is your deal, dude?
Why won't you just leave us alone?

You have no idea, do you?

Mooncake is the key.

That being can unlock
Final Space.

What the mother-loving crap
is Final Space?

That's my business.
Should we play a game, Gary?

I love games.
I always win.

You know what I want, and I...


Oh, my gosh!

Sweet Grandor's glove!

You are a planet-destroying
super weapon!

- Chocatey!
- Whoa! Yes!

That's so freaking tight!

- That's not how we play the game!
- How about this game?

- Ah, you missed.
- Freak. Shoot for the locks!

- Gary, look out!
- Ugh!

Ah! Ugh.

I'm going to save you, Gary!
I'm saving you!

I'm here to save you, Gary!
The day is saved.

Freaking KVN!
I hate you so much!

I truly can't wait for the day you die!

Oh, my gosh.
No one will be sad.

There will only be happiness!

- Hey, Gary!
- Don't even. Just don't even.

KVN has saved everything.


The gravitational disturbance,
it's massive

and growing... a lot...
a lot, a lot.

That's what I've been
trying to tell you.

Probe failure imminent.
Probe failure imminent.

We need to get out of
here right now.

Oh, God!
Engage rear thrusters!

- Ahh!
- Ah!

I am not a douche canoe!


Mayday, mayday!
This is Quinn Airgon.

Can someone hear me?
Help me!

I've processed your scan of all prisoner

transfers out of Tera Con Prime.

There is no match for Little Cato.


- What's wrong, bud?
- Mm.

I get it. So you shoot a murder
beam out of your face hole.

So what? I mean, it happens
to the best of us.

I mean, just the other
day I had a burrito,

and you should have saw
the freaking murder beam

that came out of my ba...

And, you know,
it's actually pretty sweet,

if you think about it.

I mean, I just want you to know
that that doesn't change

- anything between you and this guy.
- Me?

- Not you!
- Chocatey!


It doesn't make you the bad guy.

It really doesn't.
I mean, it makes the scum

who want to use you
as the weapon the bad guy.

Look, you're a good guy to the max core.

- Ohh!
- I'm never going to let you go again.

I now know the only one
I can trust with you

is my own awesomeness.


I'm starting to like these.


Gary, I am receiving a mayday call.

Mayday, mayday!
This is Quinn Airgon!

Can someone hear me?
Help me!

Oh, my crap. It's Quinn.