Family Ties (1982–1989): Season 3, Episode 5 - Keaton and Son - full transcript

Alex wouldn't even considering working with dad Steven, a respected producer; at the local TV station, as it is non-profit, but when the last of Alex's applications with banks, his biotope, falls trough, he accepts to become a production assistant for lack of better. Dad is proud as a peacock and happy as a clam to show off his prodigy, he had annoyed the staff about him as very proud dads do for years. Yet when a bank can offer him a job after a medical emergency, Alex writes a letter of notice, which dad doesn't get round to read until after a documentary production crisis, when only Alex decided to stay and help Steven all night, a great opportunity for father and son to learn to respect each-other while collaborating professionally...

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love
each other through ♪

♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

Oh, Dad, can you
help us out on this?

This is the 15th
name-your-baby book

we've gone through.

We haven't come up
with anything.

Oh, well, keep trying. You still
have about six weeks.

Wait a minute.
I've got the name.

It's been staring us
in the face the whole time.

What is it?


Charo Keaton. I like that.

What if it's a boy?


Have you been watching
The Tonight Showagain?

Of course not, Dad.

You know I'm not allowed
to stay up that late.

What about Johnny,
Ed or Doc?

Come on, come on,
let's, uh,

take this ice cream
up to your mom

and try out
some of these names on her.

Hey, how's she feeling?

Well, she feels great.

She wants to get out of bed,
but I told her no.

The obstetrician wants her
to totally stay off her feet.

Listen, if we can't
find a name for the baby

by the time it's born,

I'll give up "Mallory"
and take "Charo. "


Hey, Mallory.

You know, you'd think
that somebody would want

to give an enterprising
young college student

a part-time job.

You got turned down again?

Yep. Harding National Bank
turned me down today.

Kinda hurt too.

It's hard to be rejected
by someone you love.

Alex, how about
working for Dad?

Remember he offered you that job
down at the station?

Mallory, I'm learning how to be
a captain of industry,

a... A... A powerbroker,
a mover and a shaker.

You know, Dad is a thoughtful,
sensitive, caring man.

I could pick up
some bad habits from him.

I don't think
you have to worry

about becoming
too sensitive, Alex.

Can't help it.
I worry about it.

Anyway, I just don't think
it would look good,

me working for a nonprofit
organization, you know?

The, uh... The whole concept of...
Of nonprofit is...


Alex, I know it would mean a lot
to Dad if you took the job.

Yeah, well, I'm not gonna
throw in the towel yet, Mallory.

I had a meeting
with Mrs. Terwilliger

from Trade Bank of Ohio.

They said they might
have an opening for me.

Oh, hey, Alex.

Hey, Dad. How's Mom?

Oh, fine, fine.
Just taking it easy.

Good, good.

Uh, listen, how'd it go
out there today?

Any, uh...
Any luck job-hunting?

Not really.

Well, there's still an opening
down at the station.

Did you hear that, Alex?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What we're looking for
is, uh, someone young,

someone with new ideas,

someone whose name
rhymes with "schmalex. "

Uh, Dad, we've been
through this before.

It's just not for me.

Okay, okay.
I'm not pushing.

I just thought
it'd be fun.

You know, we could
carpool together,

coffee breaks, lunch.

Buy you a new bike.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

Say, uh, I do have something
that might pique your interest.

Uh, maybe you'd like to come
in the living room with me

and watch that new
science special I produced.

Oxygen: Everybody's
Favorite Gas.

Oxygen isn't
my favorite gas, Dad.

Okay, okay. Come on, Mal.


Yeah. Don't you want
to watch my show?

Oh. Sure.

Yello. Alex P. Keaton.

Oh, hi. Mrs. Terwilliger.

How are things
down at the bank?

How's the money?

Keeping it warm?

Ah. I see.

Yeah, I see.

Uh, so, uh,
so that's... That's definite?

No job, huh?

No... Uh, well, th...
Thank, anyway.


Listen, Dad,

I've been, uh...

I've been doing
a lot of long, hard thinking

since we last spoke.

I've, uh... I've weighed
the pros and the cons,

I've thought
about my future.

I tossed in some
emotional factors,

thought about us
working side by side,

and I made a decision.

I'd like to work with you
down at the station.

You got turned down
by the bank, huh?

And, uh... And then
in the fourth grade,

Alex won the spelling bee.

That's really
exciting, Steven.

What was the winning word?

"Foreclosure. "


But, uh, enough.

I'm, uh... I'm probably
boring you about Alex.

Oh, no, no. Not at all.
No, no.

Well, anyway...

I just want you to know

that Alex won't be receiving
any special treatment

just because he's...
He's my son.

Fine, fine.

Alex, Alex, come on in.

Come in, sit down, sit down.

Here, here,
take my chair, huh?

Uh, you remember Doris Bradshaw,
Fred Lambert.

Right. Hi.
Hi, Alex.

Yup, here he is,
our new production assistant,

Alex P. Keaton.

Let's hear it for him.

I'm real glad
you're here, Alex.

I got some film down in the
vault needs to be brought up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, wait a minute, Fred.

It's his first day.

Take it easy, will you?

Give him a chance
to get his bearings.

One more outburst
like that, Fred...

Oh, I've learned my lesson.

Okay, okay.

What's on
the agenda, Doris?

The first order of business
is the Menlo project.

As soon as Richard gets here,
we can hear his report.

Well, what is
the Menlo project, Dad?

"What is the Menlo project?"

Did you ever see
such an inquisitive mind?

Alex and I drove in together.

Did I tell you?

Three times.

Did you let him
beep the horn?

The Menlo project
is a documentary

on an 80-year-old woman
who's fighting city hall.

If they vote to build
an expressway,

her house will be demolished

and she'll end up in a home.


That's it.


Sounds great.

Hi, gang.

Richard, you're two hours late.

What are you
talking about?

It's 7:30 in the morning.
I'm early.

It's almost 10:00, Richard.

Your watch
is broken, again.

Richard, sit down.

Hey, Allie, boy,
how you doing?

Hey, Richard.

Richard, did you know Alex
is at Leland College now?

Great, great.

He's a McKinley fellow.

Okay, uh,
come on, Richard.

Uh, bring us up to date
on the Menlo project.

Oh, Steven, you know, I've done
a great deal of work

on the Menlo project,
and, uh... uh...

What is the Menlo project?

The only project
you're working on.

The old lady, right?

That's her name, Menlo?

Why...? Why don't we all
go to the projection room

and look at all
the film we have?

I'll show you exactly
what I'm looking for, Richard.

Great idea.


Well, sure, just a second.

Alex, it's for you.

Oh. Thanks.

Yeah. We'll...
We'll meet you there.

Uh, yeah, okay.

Uh, hello.

Mrs. Terwilliger.

Yeah, uh...
Yeah, sure I remember you.

Trade Bank of Ohio.


The, uh... The guy you hired
got pneumonia and had to quit?

Wow. That's...
That's too bad.

Well... Well the...

The important thing
is thatyou'rehealthy.



You, uh... You...
You want me?

Yeah, sure, sure,
I'm... I'm available.

And I'm healthy.

Yeah, all...
All right, okay, uh...

Uh, first thing Monday morning.

Yeah, I'll be there.

Thank you, uh, Mrs. T.


All right, Mom and I
have just gone through

a bunch of books
and old fairy tales,

and we think we found
the perfect name for the baby.

Mm. What is it?

Sneezy Keaton.

Sneezy Keaton?

Yeah, and if it's a boy, Dopey.

Thanks anyway.

It's so hard
to please you, Dad.

You don't like any names
from the fairy tales,

and you don't like any names
from the classics.

Jennifer, we are not going
to name our child Moby Keaton.

All right,
back to the old drawing board.


Welcome home, coworker.

## WKS, you're the one ##

Come on, Alex, sing it.

Uh, I... I... I don't know
all the words, Dad.

Don't have to sing the words.
Just, uh, sing the letters WKS.

## W ##

## K ##

## S ##

Oh, man, I don't think I've ever
enjoyed a day's work

as much as I've enjoyed
this day with you, Alex.

Oh, same here, Dad.

Hey, I thought we'd
go in about, uh, 5:30,

6:00 tomorrow morning so
you can meet the cleaning staff.

They're gonna love ya.

## WKS ##

This is great, Alex.

Dad's happy,

and you're out of the house
more often, so I'm happy.

Yeah, well, uh, don't get
too used to it, Mallory,

because the, uh,
honeymoon is over.

What do you mean?

Mrs. Terwilliger
from the bank called.

Great news. The guy they hired
came down with pneumonia.

How'd you give it to him?

I didn't touch him.

It was just dumb luck.

Well, you can't take that job.

You made a commitment to Dad.

That job at the bank
is gonna be

a great learning
experience for me.

I'm gonna be one desk
away from the vault.

I'm gonna be able
to smell the money

from where I'm sitting.

I don't care, Alex.
You made a commitment.

You should stick to it.
Oh, come on, Mallory,

don't make such
a big deal about this.

I really don't think it matters
that much to Dad

that I'm working at the station.

Alex, uh...

I was gonna give you
this tomorrow,

but I couldn't wait.


Uh, "Alex P. Keaton,
Production Assistant. "

It'll look great
on your desk.

I don't have a desk.

Just carry it around with you.


I got a great idea.

I'm gonna go get the camera
and take a picture of you.

With the nameplate.

Hey, you're right, Alex.

It doesn't mean
that much to him.


I gotta do
the right thing.

You're gonna stick
with the job?

No. I'm gonna
write him a letter,

tell him I quit.

A letter?

Isn't that a little cold, Alex?

No, no. It doesn't have to be.

I mean, what could be warmer?

A... A son writing a letter
to his dad.

To whom it may concern...


A little too cold.




Hold it, Mr. Keaton!


Oh, Dad, sorry. You're busy.
I can come back.

No, no, come on in.
Don't be silly.

This is one of the advantages
of working together.

I get to see you
all the time now.

How was school today?

Uh, it was...
It was okay.

What'd you learn?

Uh, well, I had a class
in, uh, advanced astrophysics.

Fill me in.

Dad, it's... It's not exactly
the kind of thing

that I can explain in...
In one sitting.

Boy, this is great.

You and I,
a couple of coworkers,

sitting around
chewing the fat.

What's that?

Uh, it's the mail.


Yeah. It was just delivered
when you turned around.

Thanks, Mr. Dugan!

Nice guy.

And fast.

Oh, boss.

I hate to have to hit you with
this so close to quitting time.

Richard, it's 2:30.

What's the problem?

Oh, look, I can't begin
to tell you about this...

Big trouble, Steve.

That piece on Mrs. Menlo
has to air tomorrow night,

and Richard hasn't
even started editing it.

I got a scoop for you, Steven.

That piece on Mrs. Menlo
has to air tomorrow night,

and Richard hasn't
even started editing it.

I can come back.

Wait, Richard.

You told me this show
was as good as done.

I didn't lie. It's as good now
as it will be when it's done.

Stop making excuses.

All right.

Why don't we all
admit it?

We're too tired to discuss
this now, right? Right.

It's 4:00 in the morning.

Let's take care of it tomorrow.

It is 2:30 in the afternoon,

and we have to take care
of it now.

Get out of here, Richard.

Okay. I'm going.

It'll still be called
a Rich Grasso production?

Get out of here.

Any of the rest of you
behind in your projects?

No, no, no, sir.

Okay, Fred,
get the studio ready,

alert the guys in the
sound department, call the lab.

Uh, Doris, uh,
get the film together,

get a Moviola up here,

uh, start working
on some promos.

Oh. What's our deadline if we
have to air tomorrow night?

Six a. m.

Alex, you... You might as well
go on home.

I'm gonna be here all night.

What'd you do that for?

Uh, well, it was just
my way of saying

that I would like to stay
and help you out.



You can start by, uh,
calling a locksmith.

We don't have a key
for those cabinets.

A city.

America's last frontier.

Ah, no, no.

That's... That's not right.

Town, country,

cit... Cit... No, no.

Maybe if it rhymed.



Summer in the city.

Back of my neck
getting dirty and...

Nah, that's no good.

Dad. I found the perfect music
to go with what you're writing.

It's... It's subtle, it's quiet,

it's restrained.

Listen to this
against your picture.

Huh? What do you think?

It would have been great for
the oxygen show, wake people up.

Ah, come on, Alex. Come on.

What...? What is at stake here?

What is the single
most important thing

in the world to people?


Not in that area.

Something, uh...
Something more emotional.


Look, Alex,
this is not about money.

Yeah, yeah,
it is about money, Dad.

See, everybody else
in this neighborhood

did the logical thing.

They went for the payoff.

Mrs. Menlo is the only one
who put up a fight.

All right. Wait. Look.

That is the difference,
isn't it?

It... It... The difference
in her principles.

All right.
Watch this, Alex.

Now, this is Mrs. Menlo.

What the hell are you doing?

You're standing on my daisies,
you jerk.

Move it, or you'll be
choking on that camera.

Hi. I'm Rich Grasso,

and I'm here with
Mrs. Florence Menlo.

Oh, by the way, Mrs. Menlo,
do you know what time it is?


Instead of narration,

we start with Mrs. Menlo's
voice over the film.

That's good.

I mean, that is good.

You know what you're
doing here, Dad.

Why, thank you, Alex.

Ah, it's still not right.

Its... It's one-dimensional.

I don't know.

It... It needs...

More sex?

More sex?


Personal preference.

Oh, I got an idea.

I liked it the way it was.

Well, I liked it too.

But I know I'll like it better
when he's done.

Why? What do you mean?

He's good.

In fact, he's the best
I've ever worked with.


You know, everybody around here
has nothing but respect

for the work your father does.


Well, we've always liked him.


He likes you too.

Boy, you ought to hear
the way he talks about you.

"Alex scored
two goals yesterday,"

or, "Alex just won this award,"

or, "Alex loaned me 20 bucks. "

He talks about me a lot, huh?

Try all the time.

Okay, okay, I think
this should do it.

Oh, what have you got, Dad?

Some film of the neighborhood

when the house
was first being built.

Mrs. Menlo was there
in the beginning,

she's still there now.

The living history
of the neighborhood,

the heart and soul of it.

Yeah, but it's 4 a. m.
now, Steve.

We only got two hours left.

I don't think
we're gonna make it.

We'll make it.

We'll make it, Doris. Thanks.


I think we did it.

Yeah, we sure did.

I'm not tired. Are you?

Uh-uh. Nope. Nope.

I am not gonna sleep
until this show airs tonight.


Hey. Buy you breakfast?

No. No, I'm taking you out
for breakfast.

No, as a matter of fact,
I'm gonna make you breakfast.

Hey, Dad, what'll it be, uh,
Froot Loops or granola?

Or we could, uh,
mix them together,

have Granola Loops.

Uh, what are you reading, Dad?

A letter from you.

Uh, don't read that, okay?
Here, uh... Here, read this.

It says here you can get
a free space ring.

Check it out.

I read the letter, Alex.

Uh, you, uh,
read the whole thing?

Listen, Alex, if you don't want
to work at the station anymore,

I understand.

No, Dad, you don't understand.

Maybe I pushed this on you.

Maybe I wanted it too much.

Dad, I can explain this letter.

Alex, when I was, uh, 18,

my father asked me to work
in his dry-cleaning store.

It was the last thing
I wanted to do,

but I took the job.

I pressed collars and cuffs
10, 12 hours a day

in 100-degree heat.

To this day,
I don't eat pressed duck.

My, uh, dad used to spit
on his iron and say,

"Someday there'll be
a sign out front that says

Keaton and Son. "

But, uh...

he knew.


Yeah, I'll... I'll probably make
my son work for me too.

Force him to be
secretary of state.

You know, when I was a little...
Little kid...

you'd always go off to work,

and... And I never really knew
or... Or understood

or even cared
what you did.

You know, I had to lie
to the other kids.

I... I told them
you were a cowboy.

Sorry I didn't have
a more exciting job.

No, see, that's not the point.

You could've had the most
exciting job in the world.

You... You could've worked
in a bank.

And it wouldn't have
mattered to me.

I wouldn't have been able to get
excited about my dad's job

no matter what.

I remember the first time I
brought you down to the station.

You were about, uh,
5 years old.

You loved it at first,
until you saw the sign,

"WKS, a nonprofit
corporation. "

And you started to cry.

You... You couldn't read,

but somehow you sensed
what it meant.

Yeah, well, uh...

I am beginning to see some
of the appeal of it now.

You know, you're great
at what you do.

And it was, uh...

It was really something
to watch you work.

Well, you weren't so bad
yourself. Hm?