Family Ties (1982–1989): Season 2, Episode 17 - Double Date - full transcript

Alex finds himself with two dates to his senior prom, and devises a plan to take them both.

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love
each other through ♪

♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

Okay, Skip, take a look around.
What do you see?

I see... the gym...

A place where
I routinely hurt myself.

The gym? Skip, the gym?
That's all you see?

See, that's why I'm chairman
of the prom committee

and you're
prom garbage captain.

This isn't the gym?

Well, yeah, today it's the gym.

But in one week
it's gonna be transformed

in-into a magnificent
Civil War plantation.

It'll just, smell like a gym.

Sounds great.

It's gonna be great.

Skip, we're gonna have a
magnolia grove back here.

And, uh, this-this is gonna be
the Mason Dixon line!

And, uh, back here,

the girls' locker room,
you know what that's gonna be?


No, Skip, that's where we're
gonna put the Mansion.

Come on, we've got a lot
of work to do.

Can you, uh, start by getting
the trees?

Right away, boss.

Hi, Alex.
How's it going?

Oh, Rachel, it's going great.

You know, this is gonna be the
best prom in the school's history.

Oh, great idea you had for the
theme "Gone with the Wind."

Oh, well thank you!

But, I liked your idea,
"Sunset on Wall Street."

Yeah, I guess it was just too
romantic for this crowd.

Everything's under control.

So, Alex, do you have a d-a
tuxedo for the prom yet?

Yeah sure.

How about a date?


Who... I mean, uh -
do you have a date yet?

Well, uh, no.
No, not yet.

As a matter of fact, I was planning
to ask, uh, Jocelyn Clark.

Oh Jocelyn...
Jocelyn - she's nice.

That-that's nice.

Yeah, I know,

but uh - have to admit
I'm a little nervous about it.

Why, Alex - I think any girl would
be thrilled to go with you.

Well, I know that.

I know, but, Jocelyn's - Jocelyn
is just so - special - you know.

I'm - uh, I'm merely

I don't know, sometimes
ex-extraordinary's enough.

Thanks, Rach.
You know you're okay.

Whoa - Rach - there she is.

Jocelyn Clark.

Excuse me for a minute.
Wish me luck, Rach.

Good luck, Alex.


So, you're really

gonna go with this dumb
"Gone with the Wind" theme, huh?

Well, it uh, wasn't my idea, but,
uh, I'm just one guy, you know?

Uh, Jocelyn, you know,
speaking of the prom,

I w-I was wondering - uh - well
since - since I'm gonna be there

and I assume
that you're gonna be there,

uh, why don't we be there

What a cute idea!

Thank you.

But I can't.

Brad Hamilton asked me

Sorry, Alex.

I guess, uh guess I just, asked
you too late, huh?

No, I would have waited for Brad.

Alex, I just want you to know
that I saw the entire thing,

and if I were her I would have
said "yes."

Let's hope it doesn't come to
that, Skip.

Guess what, mom.
Today, Mrs. Anderson

read my poem in front of the
whole class.

Well, that's wonderful, honey.

We'd love to hear it.

Uh, speak for yourself, dad.

Come on, Jennifer - let's hear it.

"A Poem" by Jennifer Keaton.

"We live in a shadow
of nuclear bomb.

One day we're here -
the next we're gone."

Uh, so how was your day, Alex?

I think the poem pretty well
sums it up.

I know why Alex is depressed.

He asked Jocelyn Clark to the
prom today and she said "no."

It's all over school.

Who would believe it?

President of the prom committee
and I can't get a date!

I'd go with you, Alex, but I
already have a date.

Who? Just kidding.

Even the chaperones have dates.

Don't look at me.

To make matters worse,
Rachel Miller's

on her way over here right now
to work on prom plans.

How am I supposed to get my
heart into this now?

Don't feel so bad, Alex.

I'll bet a lot of unpopular guys
don't have dates.

Ah, there she is now.
I'll get it.

- Yo, Rach..
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi Rachel, good to see you.

- Hi honey, how are ya.
- Hi, Rachel.

We don't have much left to do.
But we have to pick the music.

Now I brought some tapes here
of a few bands.

We have "Bloody Awful", "Return
of the Dead" and "Liver Damage."

Why don't we go upstairs and let
Rachel and Alex get some work done?

Wow, this is great.

I wish I had liver damage.

It can be arranged.

Come on, Alex,
let's listen to the tapes.

Terrific, just what I'm in the
mood for.

What's the matter?

Jocelyn turned me down.

I'm depressed. I'm saddened.
I'm crushed.

I know. I heard.
I'm sorry.

How could that happen?

You know, we were so sure
she was gonna say "yes."

You know, it's torture

when you when you want something
so bad and you just can't have it.

You know what I mean?

Yes, I do.

Ah, there I go, crying on your
shoulder again.

Why do I always do that?

No, it's okay, I don't - I don't mind.

Oh, enough of this blubbering.
Let's listen to these tapes.

The prom must go on.

Okay. I think we have
some good stuff here.

Hey, that's not bad.

That's "Bloody Awful."

Uh-h I kind of like it.

That's the name of the group.

I know. It was a joke.
I was joking.

Oh-oh-h - that's - that's funny!

Hey, do you want to see if this
stuff's danceable?

Oh, no, I'm - I'm a really
bad dancer.

Rach, trust me, so am I.

Boy you weren't kidding.

But that's okay, we dance badly
well together.

Uh - you know, Rach,
this is kind of nice.

I never thought of you as
someone that I could dance with.

Sorry. Sorr...

It's okay.

You know, I just had
a crazy thought.

Why don't why don't we go to
the prom together?

You mean, you and me?


Oh, I-i would love to go!


You know, this is wonderful!

Not only do I get to go
to the prom, now,

but with you.
The nicest guy I know!

Uh, maybe, uh maybe we could
stop dancing, now.

This could get painful.

I can stand it if you can.


You asked Rachel to the prom?

That's a brilliant idea!
Why didn't we think of it sooner?

I don't know, Skip.

You know, sometimes in life,
there are things

that should be so clear to us,
yet, uh we're oblivious.


Never mind, listen,
we've got a lot of work to do.

I need you to climb up here
and hang this half moon.

You've got it.

Hey, Jocelyn.
How're you doing?

Fine. Just fine.

Everything is going great here.

You know we're going to run
another magnolia grove

right along there
by the bleachers.

Oh, Alex!

Okay, we're not locked into it.

Jocelyn, what's wrong?

Well, Brad and I, we had a fight.

He broke our date for the prom.
What am I going to do, Alex?

I don't know, Jocelyn.

Oh, Alex!

I'm so sorry that I said no to
you yesterday.

I mean, you're much sweeter
and nicer than Brad is.

I am?

I mean, I do my best.

I don't suppose...

You don't suppose what?

That you would
still want to take me.

I think that we would have
a fabulous time together...

You, me us.

What do you think?

I I-i think, I think you're right.
I - I'd love to go with you.

But, Alex! You can't do that.

Uh, excuse me.

W-wait a minute,
what are you doing?

Do you - do you mean it, Alex?

I do... Of course...
I'd love to go with you.

Forget about...

Oh thank you so much, Alex.
You know, I hope...

Alex - you're not rem...'re not doing this just
because you're sorry for me.

Oh, I'm not!
I'm not, Jocelyn!

- What about the othe...
- Believe me, I'm not!

- I think we're gonna have
a really good time. - Alex...

This is incredible!
I can not believe this!

I have waited for years to go
out with her!

- Alex!
- Can you believe this?

Aren't you forgetting about


Rachel? The girl you
asked out yesterday?


I forgot about Rachel!

How do I get myself into
these things, Skip?

Just lucky, I guess.

Here she comes now, boss.

This isn't going to be easy,

Hi, Alex.
Hi, Skippy.

Is he always this emotional?

Listen, uh Rachel,
I have to talk to you.

Oh, I have something,
you can keep that.

Uh, what is it?

It's a swatch of my prom dress.
I'm making it myself.

I was so excited, I stayed up
all night sewing.

Anyway, I thought
you'd want to know

what color it is to match
the corsage.

Yes-yes indeed I do.

You know, I've been waiting for
the senior prom my whole life.

I don't know - I - I didn't
think I was going to get to go,

but, when you asked me, I'm just
so glad we're going together.

So am I.

anyway, I have to run.
I have a lot of sewing to do.

Okay, bye.

Alex I hate to be the one to
point this out to you, but, uh,

you've got two dates to the prom.

I'm aware of that, Skip.

And if I calculate correctly -

that's one date too many.

No, Skip, that's one me too few.

One man. One prom.
Two dates.

Each date ignorant of the
other's existence.

You know, we're gonna make
history, skip.

We have an appointment
with destiny.

Well, cancel it, Alex.
I'm scared.

Relax, Skip.

Okay, let's go over the plan
once more.

Now, the north end of the gym is
now called...

Area "A".


At no point is Rachel to enter
area "A" - prior to 8:57.

Got it.

Okay, now - areas "B" and "D" are
free zones which means...

Either girl may enter provided
the band provided the band

is not on a break at the time.

Very good.

Okay, now remember
when I'm with Rachel,

I'm gonna be wearing
the blue boutonniere.

When I'm with Jocelyn -
the red one.

Uh-h, Rachel, Jocelyn, red, blue.

- Got it.
- Okay.

Now, there are emergency exits at
either end of the gymnasium.

The master switch box is behind
the blue wrestling mat.

This will allow you
to switch off the lights,

lower the backboards, and
in case of an emergency,

open the floor over
the swimming pool.

Let's hope it doesn't
come to that.

If I'm ever in this situation
with uh two dates for a prom,

will you do
the same thing for me?

Skipper, let's cross that bridge
when we come to it.

You'll never guess what Alex did!

Uh Skip, that's a secret.

What's a secret?

I'm sorry, but I swore
to Alex I wouldn't tell

and I'm not going to
violate that sacred oath.

Tell me, Skippy.

Alex has two dates for the prom.


I'm sorry, Alex,
but she broke me down!

I'm only human!

What's going on here?

Alex asked out both
Rachel and Jocelyn.

How could you have two dates?

Well, come on, Mallory.

Mom and dad have always
encouraged us

to go out with more
than one person.

Alex, you crazy?
You're not going to pull this off!

Sure we will.

Tonight, Alex and I have an
appointment with dentistry!

Destiny, Skip, destiny.

Having fun?

I'm so glad you asked me.

I'm glad you said yes.

Remember our prom?

Oh, like it was yesterday.

Oh I remember the band played uh,
"Our Day Will Come" and uh...

Wait a minute.

You know the way
kids dance today,

they never stay
with their partners.

Well, I guess I'm glad
he's not a shy boy.

Boy, I'm exhausted.
Let's sit the rest of this dance out.

Oh, I'm sorry I tired you out.

Aw, Rachel, it wasn't you.

It was me, uh, over danced.

You know, this is wonderful.
It's so romantic.

I-I feel like I'm in the old
South all this old glory.

Looks great.
We did a great job!

I can practically smell the
magnolias blossoming.

And the Mints Juliping.

Listen, uh, Rachel, have I told
you how good you look tonight?


I'll be right back
and I'll tell you.

So Rachel, are you
having a good time?

Great time!
Yup, he's quite a guy.

You don't know the half of it.

Well, I still think it's a dumb
theme for a prom.

Well, Jocelyn you just-you have
to use your imagination.

You know, picture - picture the
South in all it's glory

uh, magnolias blossoming,
Mints Juliping.

Mints Juliping?

Hi, having fun?

Uh, yeah mom and dad.
Uh, this is Jocelyn, my uh...

- Date.
- Yeah.

Prom chairman!


Prom chairman, please report
to area "A", uh the bandstand.

Please report to the bandstand.

Excuse me.

Skippy, that was a serious
breach of protocol.

Alex, I'm sorry, but Rachel
started asking questions.

She wanted to know why you were
spending so much time with Jocelyn.

Oh, no, what did you tell her?

That you were
tutoring her in math.

Good thinking, Skip.

Look out, Rachel at 4 o'clock.


Hi, Alex.
I requested our song.

Aw, that's "Bloody Awful."

No, I like it!

That was a joke.

I know.

I'm glad all our
hard work paid off.

This is gonna be an evening
I'll never forget.

Me neither.

Alex, I've got to talk to you.

Not now, Skippy.

It's important.

Look, can't it wait?

No. I'm sorry, Rachel.
Official prom business.

You-you're really jeopardizing
the plan here.

You're supposed to
be with Jocelyn.

I'm having a good time with
Rachel, over here.

Alex! This is the prom!
It's no time to enjoy yourself!

Go over to Jocelyn, stall her.

She has been giving me the eye.
Maybe she's taken with me.

Excuse me Jocelyn,
would you like to dance?

With you?

Don't be silly.
We'll find you somebody else.

You having a good time, Rachel?

Yeah, a great time.
Alex is quite a date.

Th-that seems to be
the consensus.

May I have your attention

I'd like to thank all of you for
coming tonight.

You've been a great class, and
it's going to be sad to see you go.

And if you believe that, I've got some
old textbooks I'd like to sell you.

But seriously, aside from
thanking all of you,

I think we should all thank one of you...

The chairman of the prom committee.

The man who made, uh,
"Sunset at Tara" a reality...

Alex P. Keaton!

Uh, thank-thank you, everybody.
Thank you very much.

And now, Alex, I think it's only
appropriate that you and your date

begin what will be the last dance
of the 1984 prom.

Care to dance?

See, it began simply enough.

I asked you, Jocelyn,
to the prom, because...

uh, well, I've always
adored you from afar,

and you've always ignored me.

I knew what I was doing.

Then, I asked Rachel.
And she said "yes."

And then you asked me
and I said "yes."

Look, we're all familiar with the
classic one boy, one girl date.

This is a... this is just a simple

I don't want to sit here and
listen to any more of this.

You did a horrible thing, Alex,
and that's all there is to it.

I'm sorry, Jocelyn.

Guess you feel
the same way, huh?

Alex, I wish you'd never invited
me to this prom.

If you preferred Jocelyn to me
you should have just told me.

I don't prefer her to you,

Then why did you take her to the
prom when we already had a date?

I thought that I
preferred her to you.

You know, I-i thought
she was everything

that I ever wanted
in a prom date.

Oh, that makes me feel great.

But, I've got to tell you, Rachel,
it didn't turn out that way.

You know, through all the madness
and the deception,

and the running around
from girl to girl,

one thought kept
recurring in my mind.

You wished you'd worn
roller skates?

That too.

No, it became more and more
clear to me that, uh,

it was you, not Jocelyn that I
wanted to be with.

And why should I believe that?

You're right.

There is absolutely no good
reason for you to believe that.

I admit, my uh, my credibility is
a bit suspect right now.

Take off one of the carnations,
and maybe I'll listen.

Uh - which one was yours?


Look Rachel, uh what's important
here is not the flowers,

it-it's that we like
each other a lot.

And we shouldn't let that slip away
just because I did one stupid thing.

Alex, I do like you,

but I'm mad at you and I'm more mad at
myself for not being more mad at you.

Yeah, but not as mad as I am at myself for
doing what I did to make you mad at me!

And you.


This is my senior prom!

I wanted this to be really special!

It's just not the way I
envisioned it.

Rachel, uh look on the bright side,
you're never gonna forget it.

Thanks a lot.

The blue one's mine.

I'm sorry I did this to you
tonight Rachel.

You know, if I had only realized
sooner how m-how much I like you,

this never would have happened.

Can you forgive me?

Well, it-it's gonna take some time.

I can wait.

Come on, let's go home.