Family Ties (1982–1989): Season 1, Episode 4 - Summer of '82 - full transcript

Alex loses his heart--and a lot more--to a fast college girl who he met while making grocery deliveries.

♪ I bet we've been together
for a million years ♪

♪ and I'll bet we'll be together
for a million more ♪

♪ oh, it's like
I started breathing ♪

♪ on the night we kissed

♪ and I can't remember
what I ever did before ♪

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ and there ain't no nothin' ♪

♪ we can't love
each other through ♪

♪ ooh-hoo

♪ what would we do, baby

♪ without us?

♪ sha-la-la-la

okay, kid, you ready?

Are you sure
this is a good idea, Alex?

I don't know anything
about delivering groceries.

It's a great idea.

It's about time you get a little
experience in the job market.

Besides, you figure
people will give you bigger tips

if you're with a little girl.

How can you be so cynical?

Maybe it's because I only get
25 cents out of each dollar tip.

Who is it?

Alex: Adler's grocery!

Door's open. Come on in.

Hi. You ordered some groceries?

Yeah, just set them down
on the counter

and bill my account, okay?


Okay, they're on the counter.

I say, they're on the counter.

Yeah, and, uh,
we're ready for our tip.


Uh, you have to excuse
my sister.

No, no, no, no.
She's absolutely right.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be rude.

It's just that I'm trying
to write this paper for school,

and I'm pretty caught up in it.

Hey, I know the feeling.

I'm sort of a workaholic myself.

This is my senior thesis.

It's on Milton Friedman's
economic theories.

Pretty boring, huh?

Are you kidding?
I-i love Milton Friedman.

He's my favorite economist.

You have a favorite economist?

He's not a normal boy.

Well, you know, I hate to play
favorites, but, uh,

I'm really excited
about Friedman's theory

that by keeping a tight lid
on the money supply,

the federal reserve board
can control inflation.

I don't agree.

By following that policy,
the fed keeps interest rates

artificially high, which stifles
the growth of the economy.

Oh, I-i don't know.

I think the high interest rates

are mostly
a psychological phenomenon.

See, the banks just don't have

enough confidence in the economy

to take the risk
of lowering them.

Speaking of the economy,
Alex, time is money.

I'm gonna take the groceries
next door to 215.

If you're not in the car
in 15 minutes,

I'm leaving without you.

Uh, Jennifer,
don't forget our deal.

I won't.

75 for me, 25 for you.

Cute kid.

Yeah, real cute.

You know, you made
an interesting point

about Friedman's
economic theory.

I never thought
of looking at it that way.

Well, it's a... it's a subtle
yet intriguing perspective.

Oh, I-i put your soap
in freezer bags.

It helps keep the scent
from permeating the food.

Oh, and, uh, I individually
wrapped your eggs.

I've never seen
that done before.

Well, uh, most people don't take
groceries that seriously.

Most people don't take life
that seriously.

It's my first day.

You're my first delivery.
I hope I haven't overdone it.

Oh, I, uh, pitted
those olives for you.

I hope you don't mind.

Did you leave my tea
in the tea bags?

Uh, listen, I'm starting to get
a little worried

about Jennifer.

I'm gonna go see
what's taking her so long.

Hey, uh, by the way,
my name's Stephanie Brooks.

Alex P. Keaton.

Where do you go
to school, anyway?

I go to Harding high school.

You're kidding.

You don't seem like
a high-school student.

You seem much older.

You know, you look it, too.


I've always thought
immaturity was rather childish.

Let's go, Alex.

You got 5 bucks
from Mrs. Winchell?

What'd you have to do
to get that?

I didn't have to do anything.

But this afternoon,
you have to wash her car.

Real cute.

Well, look at you, Jennifer.
You're up early.

You set the table,
you're making breakfast,

you're putting chocolate chips
in the eggs?

Mom, somebody had to be the
first to try them in cookies.

That worked out all right,
didn't it?

Morning. Hi, honey.

I'm making chocolate-chip eggs,
Alex. Do you want some?

Not if it were the last
remaining food on the planet.

A simple "no"
would have been sufficient.

Good morning, everybody.


Now, there's a likely candidate.

Dad, do you want
some scrambled eggs?

I'm making them
especially for you.

Terrific. I'd love some.

Do I know how to pick them?

Has anybody read
any good books lately?

I have to do a book report
for English class.

Oh, what kind of book
do you want to read, Mallory?

Well, I don't actually
want to read the book.

I was hoping one of you
could tell me

about a book you've read.

Mallory, reading is
one of the great joys of life.

When you were young,
you used to read all the time.

What happened?

I discovered shopping.

I have this great picture
of you as a young girl

all curled up
by the Christmas tree,

reading "Lassie come home."

Why don't you just do
your book report on that?

That's a good idea.
Refresh my memory.

Does Lassie come home or
do they get a new dog or what?


Uh, yes he is.
Can I tell him who's calling?

Just a minute.

Alex, a Stephanie Brooks
for you.


Yeah, sure I remember you.

There wasn't any problem
with the groceries, was there?



In person?!

Oh, I'd love to go!

All right. I'll
come by your place at 7:00.

Thanks again.


Front row, center.
I can't believe it.

Are you going to that
Barry Manilow concert tonight?

Oh, better. Better.

Better than Barry Manilow? Who?

Milton Friedman.

He's giving a lecture at
the college auditorium tonight.

Well, he is
better than Barry Manilow.

You see, a friend
of Stephanie's canceled out,

so she offered me
the extra ticket.

Who is Stephanie?

We delivered groceries
to her yesterday.

She's very pretty.

She goes to college,
and she has her own apartment.

You left out
the color of her walls.

Pink and tan.

Now, Alex, don't take this
the wrong way,

but why would a college girl
be calling you for a date?

Why would any girl
be calling him for a date?

I mean, I'm not sure

if I approve of you
going out with a college girl.

Oh, come on, Elyse.

No, Steven, I'm... I'm serious.

A girl like that is... is older.

She's more mature.

She's... she's older.

Hey, Elyse, I don't see
anything wrong with it.

What's a few years, anyway?

Does, uh, that mean
I can go out with college guys?

That would be a gross
misinterpretation of my remarks.

Sounds like
a double standard to me.

Oh, Ely...

You're on your own, buddy.


Alex is two years
older than you.

In two years,
if you want to go out

with a boy who's in college,

uh, we'll let you know then
if it's okay.

Look, let's not make
such a big deal about this.

Stephanie and I
are not romantically involved.

We do share
an interest in economics,

but what we have is nothing more

than a delivery boy/customer

That's what I was afraid of.

Your eggs are ready, dad.

Mmm! Steven, don't...


These aren't bad,

but I think they need
some more chocolate chips.

I knew Friedman was brilliant,

but I never dreamed
he was so... Dynamic!

You know, I was heartbroken

when he finished
and walked offstage.

Well, I'm sure Milton
was as surprised as anyone

when you stood up and yelled,
"More! More!"

Uh, do you think
my holding up a lit match

was a bit too much?

Yeah, probably,
but, hey, you were excited.


I guess it's pretty late.

What is it...
11:00, midnight?



Would you like to come in
for a little while?

Uh, sure.

Take a step forward.

Forward. Right.

So, would you like some wine?

Thank you. Uh,
just leave it on the counter.

I'll remember to take it
when I leave.

No, I meant to drink here.

Oh! Oh, you mean here. Now.

Oh, yeah. Sure,
wine would be great.

Alex, did you think
that it was at all strange

that I called you
and invited you to the lecture?

No, not at all.

I mean, you knew
I liked Milton Friedman.

You had an extra ticket.
It doesn't seem strange.

That's not why I invited you.

I didn't think so.


I'm not really in the habit

of calling up high-school guys
and asking them out on dates,

but when you were here yesterday
delivering my groceries,

I sensed something different,

something, uh,
special about you.

Maybe it was the way I
individually wrapped your eggs.

There was more to it than that.

I mean, I can't even believe

that I'm here with you
right now.

I have to keep reminding myself
that you're only 17.

You seem to have come by
so much so early.

You must sense that
about yourself, don't you?

Not really.
I don't think of myself as...

Oh, Alex, come on. Admit it.
You're really special.

All right.


I don't want to get
in an argument about this.

I think I know what you mean.

Has a lot to do
with my parents, you know?

They've always encouraged me

to think for myself,
to be aware of things.

We disagree about a lot,
but underneath it all,

I know they think I'm okay.

That's important.

I think a good relationship
with your parents

helps you to form
good relationships with others.

That's true. I know this guy
at school, Louie Hicks.

His dad ran out
on his family when he was 10,

and I can tell
by the way Louie acts

that he deeply resents it.

Either that, or he just enjoys
setting things on fire.

Do you have a lot
of close friends at school?

More than Louie.

See, you know,
m-my friends at school,

they're just kids.

I'd feel real funny

having a conversation like this
with any of them.

All they want to talk about
are girls and... and baseball.

You know, I know
exactly what you mean.

I couldn't have
a conversation like this

with most of the people
I go to college with.

People who are intelligent
and sensitive

are a very rare breed.

I think that's why,

despite our age difference,

I find myself
very attracted to you.

How 'bout
those Cleveland Indians?

How 'bout
those Cleveland Indians?



Do you want to spend
the night here?

No, that's okay.
I-i live real close.

10 minutes' drive.

That's not what I meant.

I know.

It's just that...

You remember yesterday
w-when I told you

I had never delivered groceries
to anybody before?


That's not the only thing
I've never done before.


Well, you did pretty well
with the groceries.

Alex: * birds do it

♪ bees do it

♪ even educated fleas do it

♪ let's do it

♪ let's fall in love

morning, all.


You entering a David Niven
look-alike contest?

Honestly, dad, you slay me.

You done with
the real-estate section?


Alex, what time
did you get in last night?

Oh, I don't know, mother.
What is time, really?

Okay, Alex.

What the hell is going on here?

How do you mean that, dad?

You seem to have aged 10 years
since yesterday,

which would put you at about 56.

Are you in a school play
you didn't tell us about,

or is this costume
related to your date last night?


What happened to me last night
was more than just a date.

It was, perhaps,

the most pivotal event
of my life thus far.

Should I take that
to mean "yes"?

You should indeed.

Oh, well, whether it was a date
or a pivotal event,

I still think
you should have called home

when you knew you'd be so late.

What would you have me do?

Just after I said,

"Stephanie, would you like
some more cabernet?"

Should I have said, "excuse me,
I have to call my mommy"?

I don't care what you said,
as long as you called

your mommy...
I mean, your mother.

Alex, uh, you sound
pretty serious about Stephanie.

Let me put it this way, dad...
Remember when I said

I wouldn't be getting married
till I was 32?

Yes. Yes I remember...
July 17, 1998.

You made us
put it on our calendar.

Well, it may be sooner.

Wait a minute.
You met this girl two days ago,

and already
you're talking about marriage?

They weren't just
two ordinary days.

I mean, in some magical way,

time moved quickly
and yet stood still.

Oh, brother.

A-Alex, we don't
want to interfere.

Okay, maybe we do.

We just don't want
things to happen

faster than you can handle them.

You're still young.
You've got a lot to learn.

You have to learn how to dress,
for one thing.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go get changed.

I'm going rowing in the park.

With Stephanie?

No, I'm going alone
to practice first.

I want everything to be
just perfect when I take her.

♪ birds do it...

Stephanie: Who is it?

It's Alex.

Alex. What are you doing here?

I just thought
I'd come by and surprise you.

Uh, you should have
called me first.

Wouldn't have been
as much of a surprise.

Hey, we got a fresh batch
of melons in at the market.

I brought you a couple.

Oh, here's a tip...
Keep them at room temperature

for 36 hours before serving.

I thought maybe we could go out,

maybe go see a movie,
go rowing in the park.

I've been practicing.

Who's he?

Alex, this is Pete Drucker.

Pete, Alex Keaton.

Hi. How are you?

Who is this guy?

Uh, Pete, do you mind if I talk
to Alex for just a minute?

No, not at all.

I meant alone.

Oh. I'll wait in the other room.


Stephanie, what's going on?

Uh, Pete goes to college
with me.

He's a friend.

What kind of a friend?

A very good friend.

Look, Alex,
I'm not gonna lie to you.

Pete and I have dated.


Are you on an official date
right now?

Well, we haven't registered
or anything,

but, yeah, I guess it's a date.

Stephanie, I don't, uh...

This just
doesn't make sense to me.

How can you be on a date
with another guy

after what happened between us
last night...

I mean,
after everything we said,

after everything... We did?

Alex, Pete being here right now

has nothing to do
with what happened last night.

How can you say that?

Then w-what...
What was I to you?

Just another body?

Just a delivery boy,

good for some groceries
and a few laughs?

I forgot to get myself
something to drink.


I'm not that thirsty.

He's eating
the food I delivered.

Let him go out and eat!

Alex, look,
I could ask Pete to leave,

but that's
not gonna solve anything.

I say we give it a try.

Look, Alex, I think I'd better
explain something to you.

Look, okay.

You don't have to draw me
a picture.

I think I know
what's going on here.

There's one guy too many!

I was here first.

Look, Alex, I'm really sorry.

If I hurt you in any way...

Look, last night was wonderful
and special to me.

You've got to believe that.

I want to believe that.

I would believe that if it
weren't for the small problem

of that guy in the other room!

I feel so cheap.

Okay. Everybody set?

Yeah. Just about.

Do you think Alex will be mad

that we went to the movies
without him?

Honey, since Stephanie
came into his life,

I don't think he'd notice
if we moved out of town.

Why don't we try it
and see if he does?

Come on. Let's go.

Sweetheart, come on.

Elyse: Alex. Oh.

How was your date
with Stephanie?


Really? Yeah, dad.

It was fine.
It was a great date.

I had a wonderful time.

O-okay, Alex. Sorry to bug you.

It's just that, um...

You've only been gone
11 minutes.

So, a date can be fine
without being long.

Where are you all going?

We're going to the movies.

What are you seeing?

"Endless love."


I don't really want to see
the movie.

Elyse, why don't you go?
Go on ahead with the girls.

Yeah. Come on, girls. Let's go.

Are you kidding?!

This could be
better than the movie.

Come on, Jennifer.

You want to talk about it?

I went over to surprise her.

I figured it would be

sort of a romantic thing
to do, you know?

I even brought two
gift-wrapped melons with me.


Well, no one can accuse you
of being clichéd.

She was with another guy, dad.

Oh, boy.

How could she do that to me

after everything that happened
between us last night?

I-I'm not sure
I know what happened.

Well, you know what you think
might have happened?

That's what happened.

It was your first time,
wasn't it?

Sort of.

"Sort of"?

You know that girl I have
been dating, Monica Dillon?

Yes. She likes me.

But she's not ready...

She's not ready yet.

But when she is ready,
she wants me to be the guy,

so I've been sort of
counting that as one.

Interesting way
of looking at it.


Your first time.

How about
those Cleveland Indians?

Look, look...

You've caught me a-a little bit
off my guard here.

Actually, I've been practicing
for this moment

for a long time now.

So have I.

I-I didn't expect you
to be giving me this news

in the kitchen, though.

Where'd you expect to hear it?

For some reason,
I pictured us in a ski lodge.

Big stone fireplace,

snow falling outside,
boots warming by the fire.

Well, I'm glad you told me.

Did you tell your dad
about the first time?

N-not yet.

I'm so confused, dad.

There was real communication
between Stephanie and me.

At least I thought there was.

How could she have misled me
like this?

Alex, you and Stephanie

may have had
a beautiful night together,

but... but it...
But it was just one night.

Love and commitment
don't materialize

because two people
spend a night together.

They did for me.

I don't know, dad.

I don't think I want
anything more to do with girls.

Might as well join a monastery.

You have to be catholic
to do that.

Boy, this really isn't my day.


Alex, you acted
on your feelings tonight

and got hurt because of it.

But only by opening
yourself up like this

can you ever hope to...

To experience the exhilaration,

the joy of loving
another person.

Now, uh, maybe next time,
you won't get hurt.

Maybe you will. I don't know.

But, uh, I think
it's worth taking that risk.

I didn't realize
you knew so much

about this relationship stuff.

I read a lot.

Alex, I know what it's like

to feel something
and want something

only to have reality
splash cold water in your face.

When your mother and I
were in high school,

I was crushed because
she went to the junior prom

with Roger Silverman
instead of me.

Why'd she do that?

Because he asked her
and I didn't.

I was shy, but...
But I didn't give up on girls.

I hung in there
with your mother and, uh...

Well, I think you know
how it turned out.

I could look at this as a
learning experience, couldn't I?

Of course.

Maybe I will give Stephanie
a call tomorrow.

I mean, when you look back
on mom and Roger Silverman,

you probably laugh, right?