Diff'rent Strokes (1978–1986): Season 5, Episode 21 - Roommates - full transcript
With Willis needing a quiet room to study for his SAT tests, Arnold and Drummond agree to become roommates so that Willis can have Drummond's room to himself.
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♪ Now the world don't move
♪ To the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for you
♪ May not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They've got
nothing but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that
you got not a lot so what
♪ They'll have theirs
and you'll have yours
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
- Dad, something's
wrong with my engine.
The whistle won't blow.
- What do you mean?
- Well, it used to go toot toot.
Now it just goes
- Let me have a look at that.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Well, look at all the books.
- What'd you guys
do, mug a librarian?
- Hey, it's no joke, Arnold.
The SAT is next Saturday
and we have to study all of this.
- What's an SAT?
- That means scholastic
aptitude test, Arnold.
Students need to
get a high SAT score
to get into a good college.
- Yeah and we've only got
one week to cram in everything
that we were supposed to
learn in 10 years of school.
- Yeah, I mean, when I
opened this study manual,
it didn't feel like
I learned a thing.
- That's not true, Willis.
You learned how to sleep
in class with your eyes open.
♪ I've been working
on the railroad
♪ All the live long day
♪ I've been working
on the railroad
♪ Just to pass the time away
- James Brown, would
you mind killing that song?
- The way I sing,
I am killing it.
All aboard.
- Arnold, do you have
to blow that whistle?
I'm trying to study.
- Oh, no, I don't
have to blow it.
Toot toot.
Toot toot.
- Arnold, one
more toot out of you
and your mouth's gonna
be a tunnel for that train.
- Oh, come on, Willis.
This is my room, too.
Now where am I supposed to play?
- How about Cleveland?
- That's not nice, Willis.
I'm your brother.
You're supposed to love me.
- Okay, I'm sorry, but
I'm just trying to study.
Hey, how about getting a
quieter toy to play with, okay?
- Okay.
- Thanks.
- Let's see here.
Now, what do I
want to play with?
Ah.
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Sorry.
Ah.
Hey Herman, you
wanna play with me?
Sure, Arnold.
Oh, what do we play, Herman?
How about 20 questions?
Only we have to be quiet
so we don't disturb Willis.
- Arnold.
- Don't yell at me.
Herman's doing the talking.
- Herman, come here.
- Yes, Willis.
- You're bothering me.
Cool it or I'll put termites
down your shorts.
And that also goes
for the little dummy
who's working your mouth.
Get it?
- Got it.
Don't say a word.
Willis, may I watch
TV with the earplug?
That won't bother you.
- Okay, Arnold.
What's the use?
- Oh, sorry Willis.
- Oh, hi Willis.
- Oh, hi Pearl.
Mind if I study in here
while you're making dinner?
- Not at all.
I'm making that special
salad you like so much
and roast duck.
- Thanks, but could you
possibly chop a little quieter?
- Oh, actually, I don't
have to chop this at all.
- Good.
That's better.
- I wondered where
that spoon was.
- Pearl, maybe it's better I
go study in the other room.
- Oh, I'll be quieter, Willis.
I promise I won't use a
chainsaw to carve the duck.
- It's okay.
That makes it 40-30 set point.
- Dad, do you mind?
I'm trying to study.
- Oh, sorry about that, Willis.
I just want to catch
this tennis match.
I'll turn it down.
- Thanks.
Oh man, what is the use.
Dad, I got a big test
coming up next Saturday
and I haven't got
a place to study.
- What's the matter
with your room?
- The matter is I share it
with a pint sized
demolition derby.
I can't study with
Arnold around.
- Well, just tell him
he has to be quiet.
- Dad, it doesn't do any good.
The boy's perpetual motion.
The only time he sits still
is when he's in the john.
- Why don't you study
with Kimberly in her room?
- I can't dad.
She studies with her
girlfriends over the phone.
And besides she mumbles
to herself while she's reading.
- Well, I'll have a talk
with Arnold about it okay?
- Dad that's not
gonna do any good.
I need my own room.
Come on, Kimberly has her own.
A kid my age needs
his own privacy.
- Well, I know son, but
moving's such a hassle.
Look, anyway, a year from now
you'll be off at college.
You'll just have to
make due for now.
You can handle it.
- Dad, I'm doing
everything I can.
I even gave up my
social life for this test.
Do you realize how
many girls are suffering?
Okay, don't blame me if
I don't do well on the test.
- Now Willis, nothing
is more important to me
than for you and Kimberly
to get good SAT scores.
Look, would it help if I
gave you my room to use
until this is over?
And I'll go to a hotel.
- Thanks dad.
- Boy, that was fast.
- That's okay, dad.
Just forget I brought
the whole thing up.
Maybe I'll move up to the roof.
You know, if I don't
pass the test I can jump.
- Wait a minute.
Willis, I don't know
what I'm thinking of.
I don't need to
go to a hotel room,
I can bunk in with Arnold.
It's only for a week.
I don't mind.
- Honest?
- Honest, it'll be fun.
- Aw, thanks dad.
I really appreciate this.
- No problem.
Well, I better go and tell
my new roommate about it.
Talk about the odd couple.
- All aboard.
All aboard, next stop
Flushing Meadows.
You'll know when we get there
'cause you'll hear
all the flushing.
- Hey, you got a
minute, Casey Jones?
- Sure, dad.
- Come here.
- What's up?
- Well, you know, Willis
has to study very hard
for this test he's got
coming up Saturday.
- And he said he
can't study in here
because I make too
much noise, right?
- Well, don't you agree that
he does need some privacy?
- Well, I need
privacy, too, dad.
You think I like
him listening in
when I'm on the phone
with some cute little mama?
I am pouring my heart out
and he's back there doing this.
- Okay, well, I
appreciate your problem.
However, it's Willis's problem
that is more important
at this moment
and I think I have a
temporary solution.
- Oh, what's that?
- Well, I'll give Willis
the use of my room
and I'll bunk in here with you.
- Whatchu talkin' 'bout, dad?
- It's only for a few days.
Will that be alright with you?
- I don't know, dad.
I mean, a grown man
sleeping in the same room
with his father.
- What's wrong with that?
- Well, it's kind
of like the warden
sleeping in the same
cell with his inmate.
- Come on, Arnold.
It won't be that bad.
Think of this as a
minimum security prison.
In a week you'll be
back out in the street
with 10 bucks and a new suit.
I promise, I won't get
in your way, Arnold.
- Can I play with the
train as much as I want
and blow the whistle?
- Sure.
- Can I watch TV with Herman?
- Anytime.
- Can I have more closet space?
- All you want.
- Dad, is there any
possibility of keeping Willis
in that room for good?
- Have we got a
deal then, Arnold?
- Yep.
- Okay.
- Well, dad, what'd he say?
- He said yes.
We're all set, Willis.
- Oh, good.
- Except for one thing.
- What's that?
- Next time Arnold
is on the phone
talking to some cute mama,
don't do this.
- You do that
better than I do, dad.
- Thank you.
- Thanks dad, thanks Arnold.
- Okay.
Well Arnold, it looks
like we're roommates.
- Yep, welcome to the
bunkhouse, pardner.
- Happy to join up, pardner.
I guess I'll be moseying along.
Hey, this is gonna
work out fine for me.
Nice firm mattress.
- Hold it right there, pardner.
- Something wrong?
- Yeah, dad, how long
have I been in this room?
- How long?
Well, since you were six.
- And how long have
you been in this room?
- Including tonight, one night.
- Right.
Who does that give seniority to?
- I guess to you.
- Right.
- You sleep up there.
- Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Arnold?
- Dad, it's only fair.
I've climbed up that dumb
ladder for five miserable years.
You can do it for a
few piddling nights.
- I do pay the rent around here.
- You're pulling rank?
- Well, no.
- You're too old to
climb up the ladder?
- Certainly not.
- Then you sleep up there.
- What are you doing, Arnold?
- I'm taking Willis's
bigger drawer for myself.
- That's supposed to
be for daddy's things.
- Kimberly, we're
talking drawer space.
This is a dog eat dog world.
- Well, I've got to get
back to my studying.
I'll see you later.
Alright.
- Careful, Kimberly.
You don't want to get in the way
when I work up a head of steam.
I've got a bigger
boiler than you do.
Brought some of
your dad's stuff.
- Oh.
What's that?
- Oh, that's his
aftershave cologne.
- Hope number three.
- Ew, that's strong stuff.
I sure wouldn't use it
at a moose crossing.
- What's that?
- Nothing.
- Aw, come on.
- Well, it's kinda
personal to your dad.
- Then how come
you know about it?
- When I put his laundry
back in his drawer,
I couldn't help but notice it.
- Come on, Pearl,
you can tell me.
- Well, he uses
this on his head.
- On his head?
- It's an electric hat.
- What does he do,
plug it in and
recharge his brain?
- No silly.
He puts it on his head.
See, like this.
And it helps the
scalp absorb this stuff.
It's supposed to grow hair.
- Really, I wonder if that
would work on my chest?
- Listen, Arnold, let's
not mention to your dad
that we know about
his hair grower.
- Yeah, especially
since it doesn't work.
- That doesn't keep
him from hoping.
You know, as we get older
we all have our beauty secrets.
Things get a lot harder to
lift or flatten or move around.
- Would you tell me some
of your beauty secrets,
Pearl, please?
- Sorry Arnold.
I'm going to take my
secrets to my grave
or my honeymoon,
whichever comes first.
- Well, I would tell you
some of my beauty secrets
except I don't have any.
What you see is what you get.
But Willis has
some beauty secrets.
- Really?
- Yeah.
He doesn't think I know,
but sometimes at night
before he goes to bed,
he puts tapes on his
ears to hold them back
so they won't stick out.
And then he rolls over
when he's sleeping
and the tape comes off
and sticks his upper lip
to his nose like this.
It's not a pretty sight.
- Should I be
hearing this, Arnold?
- Sure, I've been
dying to tell somebody.
- I'm about finished Pearl.
- Okay Willis.
- What's Pearl giggling about?
- Don't ask me.
Dad, I've got to get in there.
Be right out, Arnold.
- Dad, can't the gargling wait?
What I gotta do can't.
- Oh, are you still here?
- Dad, what are you doing?
- Getting the blood
down to my scalp.
It keeps the hair healthy.
- Then what do you do,
put on your electric cap?
- How did you know about that?
- Word gets around.
- Well, let's not phone it
into the National Enquirer.
- Oh dad, don't be embarrassed.
I understand why a guy your age
would want to keep his hair.
So the lady's will
have something
to run their fingers through.
- Thanks for your understanding.
Hey, did you brush your teeth?
- Yep.
- Well, that's very
important, you know.
I never miss brushing mine.
See how they sparkle.
- May I ask you
something personal?
- Sure, go ahead.
- Do you brush
your in your mouth
or do you have to take them out?
- They are still
all mine, Arnold.
I'll let you know if
there's any change.
Hey, hey, hey, you
haven't said your prayers.
- Oh, sure, right.
- You do say them
every night, don't you?
- Well, I try to.
If I miss one night,
I pad it the next.
- Well, let's say them
together like we used to.
Okay, kneel down.
- Anything special
you'd like to pray for?
- Arnold, you're not
supposed to pray
just because you want something.
You should give thanks
for what you already have.
- I usually do, but tonight
I thought I'd make it
a half and half prayer.
- Half and half?
- Yeah, I let God know
what I'm already thankful for
and then I let you know
what I'd like to be thankful for
in the future.
- I see.
Well, tonight let's
just bless everybody
and leave requests
for Santa Claus.
- You know, you're not
much fun to pray with.
- Well, next time
I'll wear a funny hat.
Okay, let's go.
- This will be a short one, God.
Bless dad, Kimberly,
Willis and Pearl
and lay a little on me.
That's it, more
later, good night.
- I gather you're
going to do a lot
of padding tomorrow night.
Okay, in you get.
- Alright.
- Cover up.
Okay.
Good night, Arnold.
- Good night, dad.
- Arnold.
Do you have a nightlight?
- No, I don't use it anymore.
I'm too old for it.
- Awfully dark in here.
- I don't mind.
- You can hardly see anything.
Are you sure you
wouldn't like one?
- No thanks.
- A little light is nice.
- Wait a minute.
Dad, are you afraid of the dark?
- No, of course not.
It's just that I don't
know my way around
in this room in the dark.
I mean, what if it was
an emergency, you know?
- Yeah, I know.
- Good night, Arnold.
- Good night, dad.
- Kinda high up here.
- You'll get used to it.
- No problem.
No problem.
- You okay, dad?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
- Good, 'cause there's
something I have to tell you.
You ought to warn a guy.
I thought it was a hold up.
- Oh I wear this to keep
the sun out in the morning
otherwise, I'd be
up with the chickens.
- Well, you'd sure scared
the eggs out of them.
- What was it you
wanted to ask me?
- Oh, I just wanted to tell you
it's fun having you as a roomie.
- Yeah, just one
laugh after another.
- Good night, dad.
- Good night, Arnold.
- So can you study better
in dad's room, Willis?
- Oh yeah, it's terrific.
Quiet, no interruptions,
a beautiful desk,
a big nightlight.
I'm going to do
great on that SAT.
- Did you try that relaxer
chair of his that vibrates?
- Oh yeah, it's the greatest.
- I'll say.
Sometimes when I
go in to clean his room
I go in and sit in it
for a few minutes.
- Makes you feel
good, doesn't it?
- All over and that
covers a lot of territory.
- Hi, everybody.
Hey, Arnold.
- How'd it go with
the new roommate?
- Okay.
- What's so funny?
- Dad.
- What about him?
- He's upstairs putting
this gook on his hair
to make it grow.
- Arnold!
- Come on, Pearl.
You said not to
mention it to dad,
but you didn't say anything
about Willis and Kimberly.
- What else, Arnold?
- And then he puts
on this electric cap
and plugs it into a wall socket.
If there's ever a short circuit,
it's gonna electrocute
his follicles.
- Oh sorry, you're
just getting warmed up.
- Dad goes to the
bathroom during the night
more times than I do.
- No.
- Is nothing sacred?
- Keep going, Arnold.
- Dad has these little
scissors that he uses
to trim his eyebrows then
looks in the mirror like this
and trims the hairs in his nose.
- I love it, I love it.
- Dad had this black
mask that he sleeps with.
It's like bunking with
the Lone Ranger.
- Shh, here he comes.
Hey dad.
- Good morning.
- Hey dad, are you alright?
- Let me give you a hand.
- I don't need
any help, I'm fine.
- What happened
to your back, daddy?
- He fell out of the top bunk.
Dad, I didn't realize you
hurt yourself that bad.
- My back kind of
tightened up in the night.
It's gonna be alright.
It's no big deal.
I think I'll go and
get the heating pad.
- I hope you have a
better night tonight, daddy.
- I'm sure I will.
I'm gonna sleep in a
mountain climber's harness.
- Poor guy.
He looks like the
Hunchback of Notre Dame.
- I offered him the bottom bunk
so he wouldn't
have so far to fall,
but he wouldn't take it.
- Arnold, daddy's
really in pain.
It's nothing to joke about.
- Who's joking?
Dad tossed and turned all night.
Then he got up and
walked across the room
to go into the closet because
there was no nightlight.
Walking across that room for dad
is like going
through a minefield.
- I didn't realize
it was that bad.
I better give him his room back.
- Oh, Willis, you know
he's not gonna take it.
He's not about to admit
that bunking with Arnold
is killing him.
- I think a little
heat and it'll be fine.
- I'm sure it will.
Just ease yourself down there.
I'll plug it in for
you, Mr. Drummond.
- Thank you, Pearl.
- Listen, dad, how about
taking your room back?
- Oh, no, no, no, no way Willis.
Where would you study for
your college entrance test?
I'm perfectly comfortable
where I am, thank you.
- Dad, it's really not doing
me any good anyway.
- I got a solution to
the whole problem.
Dad, you take your room back.
Willis, you take our room.
- Where're you going, Arnold,
to the midnight mission?
- No, I'll move in
with dad in his room.
- Hey, that's a good idea.
I got the big king size
bed to sleep in, Arnold.
- Right, and I'm sure
you'll be comfortable
in your vibrating chair.
- We'll have to discuss
that one, little roomie.
- Whatever you say, big roomie.
- Oh dad.
♪ Now the world don't move
♪ To the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for you
♪ May not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothing
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
---
♪ Now the world don't move
♪ To the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for you
♪ May not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They've got
nothing but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story
♪ Everybody finds a way to shine
♪ It don't matter that
you got not a lot so what
♪ They'll have theirs
and you'll have yours
♪ And I'll have mine
♪ And together we'll be fine
♪ 'Cause it takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
- Dad, something's
wrong with my engine.
The whistle won't blow.
- What do you mean?
- Well, it used to go toot toot.
Now it just goes
- Let me have a look at that.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Well, look at all the books.
- What'd you guys
do, mug a librarian?
- Hey, it's no joke, Arnold.
The SAT is next Saturday
and we have to study all of this.
- What's an SAT?
- That means scholastic
aptitude test, Arnold.
Students need to
get a high SAT score
to get into a good college.
- Yeah and we've only got
one week to cram in everything
that we were supposed to
learn in 10 years of school.
- Yeah, I mean, when I
opened this study manual,
it didn't feel like
I learned a thing.
- That's not true, Willis.
You learned how to sleep
in class with your eyes open.
♪ I've been working
on the railroad
♪ All the live long day
♪ I've been working
on the railroad
♪ Just to pass the time away
- James Brown, would
you mind killing that song?
- The way I sing,
I am killing it.
All aboard.
- Arnold, do you have
to blow that whistle?
I'm trying to study.
- Oh, no, I don't
have to blow it.
Toot toot.
Toot toot.
- Arnold, one
more toot out of you
and your mouth's gonna
be a tunnel for that train.
- Oh, come on, Willis.
This is my room, too.
Now where am I supposed to play?
- How about Cleveland?
- That's not nice, Willis.
I'm your brother.
You're supposed to love me.
- Okay, I'm sorry, but
I'm just trying to study.
Hey, how about getting a
quieter toy to play with, okay?
- Okay.
- Thanks.
- Let's see here.
Now, what do I
want to play with?
Ah.
Trailers.to: Watch Full HD Movies & TV Shows
Premium Platform
Sorry.
Ah.
Hey Herman, you
wanna play with me?
Sure, Arnold.
Oh, what do we play, Herman?
How about 20 questions?
Only we have to be quiet
so we don't disturb Willis.
- Arnold.
- Don't yell at me.
Herman's doing the talking.
- Herman, come here.
- Yes, Willis.
- You're bothering me.
Cool it or I'll put termites
down your shorts.
And that also goes
for the little dummy
who's working your mouth.
Get it?
- Got it.
Don't say a word.
Willis, may I watch
TV with the earplug?
That won't bother you.
- Okay, Arnold.
What's the use?
- Oh, sorry Willis.
- Oh, hi Willis.
- Oh, hi Pearl.
Mind if I study in here
while you're making dinner?
- Not at all.
I'm making that special
salad you like so much
and roast duck.
- Thanks, but could you
possibly chop a little quieter?
- Oh, actually, I don't
have to chop this at all.
- Good.
That's better.
- I wondered where
that spoon was.
- Pearl, maybe it's better I
go study in the other room.
- Oh, I'll be quieter, Willis.
I promise I won't use a
chainsaw to carve the duck.
- It's okay.
That makes it 40-30 set point.
- Dad, do you mind?
I'm trying to study.
- Oh, sorry about that, Willis.
I just want to catch
this tennis match.
I'll turn it down.
- Thanks.
Oh man, what is the use.
Dad, I got a big test
coming up next Saturday
and I haven't got
a place to study.
- What's the matter
with your room?
- The matter is I share it
with a pint sized
demolition derby.
I can't study with
Arnold around.
- Well, just tell him
he has to be quiet.
- Dad, it doesn't do any good.
The boy's perpetual motion.
The only time he sits still
is when he's in the john.
- Why don't you study
with Kimberly in her room?
- I can't dad.
She studies with her
girlfriends over the phone.
And besides she mumbles
to herself while she's reading.
- Well, I'll have a talk
with Arnold about it okay?
- Dad that's not
gonna do any good.
I need my own room.
Come on, Kimberly has her own.
A kid my age needs
his own privacy.
- Well, I know son, but
moving's such a hassle.
Look, anyway, a year from now
you'll be off at college.
You'll just have to
make due for now.
You can handle it.
- Dad, I'm doing
everything I can.
I even gave up my
social life for this test.
Do you realize how
many girls are suffering?
Okay, don't blame me if
I don't do well on the test.
- Now Willis, nothing
is more important to me
than for you and Kimberly
to get good SAT scores.
Look, would it help if I
gave you my room to use
until this is over?
And I'll go to a hotel.
- Thanks dad.
- Boy, that was fast.
- That's okay, dad.
Just forget I brought
the whole thing up.
Maybe I'll move up to the roof.
You know, if I don't
pass the test I can jump.
- Wait a minute.
Willis, I don't know
what I'm thinking of.
I don't need to
go to a hotel room,
I can bunk in with Arnold.
It's only for a week.
I don't mind.
- Honest?
- Honest, it'll be fun.
- Aw, thanks dad.
I really appreciate this.
- No problem.
Well, I better go and tell
my new roommate about it.
Talk about the odd couple.
- All aboard.
All aboard, next stop
Flushing Meadows.
You'll know when we get there
'cause you'll hear
all the flushing.
- Hey, you got a
minute, Casey Jones?
- Sure, dad.
- Come here.
- What's up?
- Well, you know, Willis
has to study very hard
for this test he's got
coming up Saturday.
- And he said he
can't study in here
because I make too
much noise, right?
- Well, don't you agree that
he does need some privacy?
- Well, I need
privacy, too, dad.
You think I like
him listening in
when I'm on the phone
with some cute little mama?
I am pouring my heart out
and he's back there doing this.
- Okay, well, I
appreciate your problem.
However, it's Willis's problem
that is more important
at this moment
and I think I have a
temporary solution.
- Oh, what's that?
- Well, I'll give Willis
the use of my room
and I'll bunk in here with you.
- Whatchu talkin' 'bout, dad?
- It's only for a few days.
Will that be alright with you?
- I don't know, dad.
I mean, a grown man
sleeping in the same room
with his father.
- What's wrong with that?
- Well, it's kind
of like the warden
sleeping in the same
cell with his inmate.
- Come on, Arnold.
It won't be that bad.
Think of this as a
minimum security prison.
In a week you'll be
back out in the street
with 10 bucks and a new suit.
I promise, I won't get
in your way, Arnold.
- Can I play with the
train as much as I want
and blow the whistle?
- Sure.
- Can I watch TV with Herman?
- Anytime.
- Can I have more closet space?
- All you want.
- Dad, is there any
possibility of keeping Willis
in that room for good?
- Have we got a
deal then, Arnold?
- Yep.
- Okay.
- Well, dad, what'd he say?
- He said yes.
We're all set, Willis.
- Oh, good.
- Except for one thing.
- What's that?
- Next time Arnold
is on the phone
talking to some cute mama,
don't do this.
- You do that
better than I do, dad.
- Thank you.
- Thanks dad, thanks Arnold.
- Okay.
Well Arnold, it looks
like we're roommates.
- Yep, welcome to the
bunkhouse, pardner.
- Happy to join up, pardner.
I guess I'll be moseying along.
Hey, this is gonna
work out fine for me.
Nice firm mattress.
- Hold it right there, pardner.
- Something wrong?
- Yeah, dad, how long
have I been in this room?
- How long?
Well, since you were six.
- And how long have
you been in this room?
- Including tonight, one night.
- Right.
Who does that give seniority to?
- I guess to you.
- Right.
- You sleep up there.
- Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Arnold?
- Dad, it's only fair.
I've climbed up that dumb
ladder for five miserable years.
You can do it for a
few piddling nights.
- I do pay the rent around here.
- You're pulling rank?
- Well, no.
- You're too old to
climb up the ladder?
- Certainly not.
- Then you sleep up there.
- What are you doing, Arnold?
- I'm taking Willis's
bigger drawer for myself.
- That's supposed to
be for daddy's things.
- Kimberly, we're
talking drawer space.
This is a dog eat dog world.
- Well, I've got to get
back to my studying.
I'll see you later.
Alright.
- Careful, Kimberly.
You don't want to get in the way
when I work up a head of steam.
I've got a bigger
boiler than you do.
Brought some of
your dad's stuff.
- Oh.
What's that?
- Oh, that's his
aftershave cologne.
- Hope number three.
- Ew, that's strong stuff.
I sure wouldn't use it
at a moose crossing.
- What's that?
- Nothing.
- Aw, come on.
- Well, it's kinda
personal to your dad.
- Then how come
you know about it?
- When I put his laundry
back in his drawer,
I couldn't help but notice it.
- Come on, Pearl,
you can tell me.
- Well, he uses
this on his head.
- On his head?
- It's an electric hat.
- What does he do,
plug it in and
recharge his brain?
- No silly.
He puts it on his head.
See, like this.
And it helps the
scalp absorb this stuff.
It's supposed to grow hair.
- Really, I wonder if that
would work on my chest?
- Listen, Arnold, let's
not mention to your dad
that we know about
his hair grower.
- Yeah, especially
since it doesn't work.
- That doesn't keep
him from hoping.
You know, as we get older
we all have our beauty secrets.
Things get a lot harder to
lift or flatten or move around.
- Would you tell me some
of your beauty secrets,
Pearl, please?
- Sorry Arnold.
I'm going to take my
secrets to my grave
or my honeymoon,
whichever comes first.
- Well, I would tell you
some of my beauty secrets
except I don't have any.
What you see is what you get.
But Willis has
some beauty secrets.
- Really?
- Yeah.
He doesn't think I know,
but sometimes at night
before he goes to bed,
he puts tapes on his
ears to hold them back
so they won't stick out.
And then he rolls over
when he's sleeping
and the tape comes off
and sticks his upper lip
to his nose like this.
It's not a pretty sight.
- Should I be
hearing this, Arnold?
- Sure, I've been
dying to tell somebody.
- I'm about finished Pearl.
- Okay Willis.
- What's Pearl giggling about?
- Don't ask me.
Dad, I've got to get in there.
Be right out, Arnold.
- Dad, can't the gargling wait?
What I gotta do can't.
- Oh, are you still here?
- Dad, what are you doing?
- Getting the blood
down to my scalp.
It keeps the hair healthy.
- Then what do you do,
put on your electric cap?
- How did you know about that?
- Word gets around.
- Well, let's not phone it
into the National Enquirer.
- Oh dad, don't be embarrassed.
I understand why a guy your age
would want to keep his hair.
So the lady's will
have something
to run their fingers through.
- Thanks for your understanding.
Hey, did you brush your teeth?
- Yep.
- Well, that's very
important, you know.
I never miss brushing mine.
See how they sparkle.
- May I ask you
something personal?
- Sure, go ahead.
- Do you brush
your in your mouth
or do you have to take them out?
- They are still
all mine, Arnold.
I'll let you know if
there's any change.
Hey, hey, hey, you
haven't said your prayers.
- Oh, sure, right.
- You do say them
every night, don't you?
- Well, I try to.
If I miss one night,
I pad it the next.
- Well, let's say them
together like we used to.
Okay, kneel down.
- Anything special
you'd like to pray for?
- Arnold, you're not
supposed to pray
just because you want something.
You should give thanks
for what you already have.
- I usually do, but tonight
I thought I'd make it
a half and half prayer.
- Half and half?
- Yeah, I let God know
what I'm already thankful for
and then I let you know
what I'd like to be thankful for
in the future.
- I see.
Well, tonight let's
just bless everybody
and leave requests
for Santa Claus.
- You know, you're not
much fun to pray with.
- Well, next time
I'll wear a funny hat.
Okay, let's go.
- This will be a short one, God.
Bless dad, Kimberly,
Willis and Pearl
and lay a little on me.
That's it, more
later, good night.
- I gather you're
going to do a lot
of padding tomorrow night.
Okay, in you get.
- Alright.
- Cover up.
Okay.
Good night, Arnold.
- Good night, dad.
- Arnold.
Do you have a nightlight?
- No, I don't use it anymore.
I'm too old for it.
- Awfully dark in here.
- I don't mind.
- You can hardly see anything.
Are you sure you
wouldn't like one?
- No thanks.
- A little light is nice.
- Wait a minute.
Dad, are you afraid of the dark?
- No, of course not.
It's just that I don't
know my way around
in this room in the dark.
I mean, what if it was
an emergency, you know?
- Yeah, I know.
- Good night, Arnold.
- Good night, dad.
- Kinda high up here.
- You'll get used to it.
- No problem.
No problem.
- You okay, dad?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
- Good, 'cause there's
something I have to tell you.
You ought to warn a guy.
I thought it was a hold up.
- Oh I wear this to keep
the sun out in the morning
otherwise, I'd be
up with the chickens.
- Well, you'd sure scared
the eggs out of them.
- What was it you
wanted to ask me?
- Oh, I just wanted to tell you
it's fun having you as a roomie.
- Yeah, just one
laugh after another.
- Good night, dad.
- Good night, Arnold.
- So can you study better
in dad's room, Willis?
- Oh yeah, it's terrific.
Quiet, no interruptions,
a beautiful desk,
a big nightlight.
I'm going to do
great on that SAT.
- Did you try that relaxer
chair of his that vibrates?
- Oh yeah, it's the greatest.
- I'll say.
Sometimes when I
go in to clean his room
I go in and sit in it
for a few minutes.
- Makes you feel
good, doesn't it?
- All over and that
covers a lot of territory.
- Hi, everybody.
Hey, Arnold.
- How'd it go with
the new roommate?
- Okay.
- What's so funny?
- Dad.
- What about him?
- He's upstairs putting
this gook on his hair
to make it grow.
- Arnold!
- Come on, Pearl.
You said not to
mention it to dad,
but you didn't say anything
about Willis and Kimberly.
- What else, Arnold?
- And then he puts
on this electric cap
and plugs it into a wall socket.
If there's ever a short circuit,
it's gonna electrocute
his follicles.
- Oh sorry, you're
just getting warmed up.
- Dad goes to the
bathroom during the night
more times than I do.
- No.
- Is nothing sacred?
- Keep going, Arnold.
- Dad has these little
scissors that he uses
to trim his eyebrows then
looks in the mirror like this
and trims the hairs in his nose.
- I love it, I love it.
- Dad had this black
mask that he sleeps with.
It's like bunking with
the Lone Ranger.
- Shh, here he comes.
Hey dad.
- Good morning.
- Hey dad, are you alright?
- Let me give you a hand.
- I don't need
any help, I'm fine.
- What happened
to your back, daddy?
- He fell out of the top bunk.
Dad, I didn't realize you
hurt yourself that bad.
- My back kind of
tightened up in the night.
It's gonna be alright.
It's no big deal.
I think I'll go and
get the heating pad.
- I hope you have a
better night tonight, daddy.
- I'm sure I will.
I'm gonna sleep in a
mountain climber's harness.
- Poor guy.
He looks like the
Hunchback of Notre Dame.
- I offered him the bottom bunk
so he wouldn't
have so far to fall,
but he wouldn't take it.
- Arnold, daddy's
really in pain.
It's nothing to joke about.
- Who's joking?
Dad tossed and turned all night.
Then he got up and
walked across the room
to go into the closet because
there was no nightlight.
Walking across that room for dad
is like going
through a minefield.
- I didn't realize
it was that bad.
I better give him his room back.
- Oh, Willis, you know
he's not gonna take it.
He's not about to admit
that bunking with Arnold
is killing him.
- I think a little
heat and it'll be fine.
- I'm sure it will.
Just ease yourself down there.
I'll plug it in for
you, Mr. Drummond.
- Thank you, Pearl.
- Listen, dad, how about
taking your room back?
- Oh, no, no, no, no way Willis.
Where would you study for
your college entrance test?
I'm perfectly comfortable
where I am, thank you.
- Dad, it's really not doing
me any good anyway.
- I got a solution to
the whole problem.
Dad, you take your room back.
Willis, you take our room.
- Where're you going, Arnold,
to the midnight mission?
- No, I'll move in
with dad in his room.
- Hey, that's a good idea.
I got the big king size
bed to sleep in, Arnold.
- Right, and I'm sure
you'll be comfortable
in your vibrating chair.
- We'll have to discuss
that one, little roomie.
- Whatever you say, big roomie.
- Oh dad.
♪ Now the world don't move
♪ To the beat of just one drum
♪ What might be right for you
♪ May not be right for some
♪ A man is born
♪ He's a man of means
♪ Then along come two
♪ They got nothing
but their jeans
♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world
♪ Yes it does
♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world