Der Tatortreiniger (2011–2018): Season 7, Episode 1 - Currywurst - full transcript

Hello?

Anyone here?

"The Old Dog"

Good dog.

Now fetch me a hundred.

Hi.

Schotte.

My name.
This is a surprise.

They didn't call?
Yes, ages ago.

I was stuck in traffic.
Ah.

Great crisis.



And now you're back in the zone again?
Yeah.

I have to say, Mr. Schotte:
I love your work.

I don't dare ask, but ...
Have you brought me something?

Uh ... yeah ...

Here ... cleaning products.

Sensational.

Excuse the Chaos,
there was an unfortunate incident.

That's why I'm here.

What was your name again?

Schotte, Heiko. Crime scene cleaner.

Is this not the right spot?
It is, yeah.

Yeah, then ... I'll get started then.

Are you related
to the painter Siegfried Schotte?

Roland Schotte - my Cousin.



I mean the painter.
He is a painter.
Oh, really?

Yeah, nice guy.

And what does he paint?

In the Deichtorhallen, he ...
There's work there by your cousin?

The walls.
The bend...?

The walls.

On the subject of the Fall of the Berlin Wall?
On the theme of renovation.

You mean ...?
The walls.

What was your cousin doing there?
Painted it white.

Sounds radical.
Yeah, it's alright.

The important thing is the pictures.
Which pictures?

What's being exhibited.

In the Deichtorhallen, he ...
He whitened the walls.

Why did you tell me that?
You asked.

Would have been nice.

Siegfried Schotte in my gallery.

And this Siegfried ...
what did he paint?

White, monochrome surfaces.-
Sensational.

I said right away,
the picture's out of the question.

Then he yelled

that he is Konrad Kirschelich, and
he wouldn't be treated that way.

The world shouldn't
be deprived of this picture.

He cried his eyes out,

because with this picture,
he worked through the death of his wife.

Then he started to beg.

For 5 Euro he'd sell the picture
in the Ravenbach Gallery.

At some point
I called the police.

Why didn't you give him 5 Euro?
It's not worth that much.

Yeah, but ... 5 Euro!

Maybe as charity,
not a sales price.

I think it's quite nice.

It fits in a Pizzeria

or a Anthroposophic
luxury hotel.

But not in my gallery.

Why not?

It is a decorative picture,
and I show contemporaries.

But the painter is a contemporary.
That's not enough.

Why not?

Contemporary art is

a relevant confrontation
with the present.

And then what?

Then he broke in here
with the picture.

He held up a crude manifesto
for the camera

about the mafioso structure
of the art world.

Then he took 5 Euro
out of a coffee cup and said

that he was symbolically selling
the painting to the Ravenbach Gallery.

Crazy.

You don't have an alarm system?
We do; the police came right away.

But before that, the
2 security guards were shooting all around.

Then it looked like
a Hermann Nitsch program.

Did anyone die?

Konrad Kirschelich is likely fighting
for his existence as an artist

in an intensive care unit.

Everyone else is dead.

Ah, shit.
Or unharmed.

All but one unharmed!
I'm a nervous wreck.

But the exhibits were unharmed.

That's of course the main thing.
That's all Scolatti,

so that's a big one.

A very big one.

I think it's quite nice.

I know someone that
would think so, too - Merle.

My current ex-girlfriend,

but hopefully future wife
and mother of my children.

Her birthday is soon,
and this would blow her mind.

Usually I give her little things,
jokes. Whoopie cushions and such.

And then suddenly, wham! Art!

How much would it cost?
I can't say.

For 20 Euro I'd take it.

50.
You're sweet.

You think you can buy
a painting from Ravenbach for 50 Euro?

Well, you paid 5 Euro and
think it's awful.

50 would be ten times that.

Well that's about
how much it's worth

But right now ...
it's worth at least 1,000.

Huh? Why?!

You wouldn't give 5,
and now you want 1,000?

It's damaged!
Exactly.

You'd have to tape it up
and paint over it.

On the contrary.

The bullethole
makes it a masterpiece

Huh?

Here arises a tension
between harmony and destruction.

A gap that the viewer
must fill in.

Ambiguous, irritating, disturbing.

What's so good
about being disturbed?

A new point of view.

Art that doesn't disturb
or provoke is irrelevant.

Irrelevant means cheaper?
Yep.

But you won't find
irrelevance here.

The most I can do,
would be ...

... 400.

I'm sure you could find
something at the flea market.

But this costs 1000 Euro.

Until now.

Okay ... well that's that, then.

For God's sake!
That's an authentic Scolatti!

Ah, I see ...

Yes, I know, a really, really big one.

But why?

When it comes to art
provoking and disturbing,

I ask myself:

What's provocative about
a 5 Euro bill?

Good, you recreated a 5 Euro bill,

but the 5 itself is
made of Euro bills.

But you know that
it's play money.

It's not real, and so ...

These are real bills?!

And this ... this here is
made of real Euro bills ...

And a real hundred here?!

They're all real ...?

And this stack of bills here?
500.

500 Euro bill... as a backdrop?!

And ... the star here ...

He cut up a 200 bill
just for a star?!

I can't believe this!

That is ... that's ... just ...

Ah, that's gotta be at least ...

That's thousands?!
120,000 - just in materials.

120,000 Euro, to recreate
a 5 Euro note?!

Fascinating, is it not?
No, it's sh...

it's decadent!

And this is supposed to be art.
See? It provokes.

It's sheer audacity.

It makes fun of everyone
who has to toil for a living!

Just for this corner here I'd have
to work my ass off for half a year!

And doing real work!

For me, money isn't some plaything
that I use for wallpaper.

And then to title it "Real Value"!
That's what I love about Scolatti.

He leaves no one cold.

He meets you in your reality.

No! Cutting up money has
nothing to with my reality.

That just ... it really upsets me!
That's good.

No it isn't!

Just because I'm upset doesn't mean it's good.

Sometimes the work just isn't good!

I have respect for art,
even if I sometimes don't understand it.

And maybe that makes me dumb.

But this here! This I understand.

That's just an insult to people
for whom 5 Euros still means something.

120,000 Euro!

And that's not the sale price, right?
Of course not.

A million? Where did he get
so much for a reproduction?

Patrons, private foundations,
public funding.

I paid for this too?!

I paid, with my taxes,
for him to cut up bills?!

I want my money back!

You can't judge a work of art
based on what the artist

earned from it.
I think you can.

Make it big as a social critic
and you get a sack of coal.

Why not earn something for it?

Because it would be more believable.

Poverty makes art more believable?
Oh, please!

If I knew someone put
all their money into something,

I'd have even more respect for them.

I'd think it was something
really important for them to say.

But as it is now,
one thinks he's just fooling around.

People stress about his pictures

or get angry at them.

And then he laughs his way to the bank.

But it's terribly uninteresting

what motivation an artist
used to create his work.

The credibility lies in the work itself.

Destroying money
isn't credible to me.

He didn't destroy anything.

Oh, come on.

He created something.

Something new.

There's the immaterial value, the idea,

and the financial value.

The picture is worth more
than the cost of the material used.

Why didn't he use fake bills?

Would that have upset you?

Probably not, but ...
There you have it.

It would be an insignificant work

and it would be leave you cold.

Yeah, maybe.

But here, the Kirsche, yeah.
That doesn't upset me.

But it doesn't leave me cold either.

It reminds me of what's
between me and Merle.

Something I can't describe exactly.

I think, "yeah, exactly like us."

This is probably lame, but ...

Why can't art just be beautiful?

You don't think money is beautiful?
Well yeah, obviously.

Money is a unique material.

Dynamic, authentic, lively.

Do you see?

There.

Little wrinkles,
discoloration, crinkles, scribbles ...

Each bill tells
a thousand stories.

My God, is real money beautiful.

Didi's wife Lisa would flip out over this.

She'd find it bla...
what do you call it ... blasphemous.

Why's that?

In a church
there's gold crosses everywhere.

Does she find that blasphemous as well?

I see ... you've got a point.

I give you that
money is not a cheap material.

With "David" by Michelangelo
no one asks:

"Did that have to be marble?
Wouldn't plaster have done the job?"

That's what I love about art.

It's uncompromising in
putting itself above

everything mediocre and ordinary.

And what about Scolatti
is so unordinary?

Sure, the idea's not bad.

But this cross, here?
You could make that 3 hours.

Art isn't paid
based on an hourly wage.

Yeah, sure.

And I'm also sure

that the worst of an artwork
isn't easy to determine.

But for example ...
take a picture like ...

Here, like the Mona Lisa.

200 Million.

Come again?
That's the current market price.

That makes some sense.

That's a great painting, sure.

Whether it's worth 200 million,
I don't know.

Anyway, it's well-made.

Though, as a real woman
she wouldn't be my type.

Too well-behaved - but mainly
that she wouldn't get my humor.

But, anyway, it's unique.

And that's why it's so expensive,
because no one else can do it.
Not true.

You could make an exact copy today,

that would take even experts
days to find the differences.

Every museum could have
their very own Mona Lisa.

Yeah sure,
but you'd want to see the original.

Exactly. Original da Vinci,
Original Scolatti.

But the difference with the money

is someone had an idea.

Then he managed
to get funding for it.

And then suddenly it's great art.

But without funding, there's nothing.

With the Mona Lisa there's
at least a really great picture

that just blows you away.

Because the painting's so excellent.

Of course.
Right, of course.

If you had never heard of the Mona Lisa ...

Would you stop in a museum
like you were struck by lightning

when you saw it hanging there
amongst all the other paintings?

In that moment, would you be able
to grasp the artistic dimension of it?

Easily?

Sure, maybe not the entire dimension.

You'd walk right past it.
Yeah.

Does that mean in reality that the
Mona Lisa isn't so great after all?

That you only think it's great
because everyone else does?

Right now, there's probably
116 people in the world

that can substantiate exactly
why it's a masterpiece.

Like with Svenja.

Sorry?

That's Roland's wife.

When she was single, we almost
got something going at this party ...

But then the idea
didn't seem that attractive.

I could probably
get someone prettier.

The next day, Roland comes over,
and he's crazy about her.

She's the most beautiful woman
he's ever met.

And I think, there's a guy
who's not going to find anyone prettier.

And Didi asks me how did Roland
get such a hot chick.

And Frido, too:
"Svenja is an absolute knockout!"

After that, I even started
to find her quite pretty.

No one is free
from the opinions of others.

Except with Merle.

Merle is the most
beautiful woman in the universe.

Since I'm on of the 116
who could substantiate ...

When it comes to the 116,
it has nothing to do with ...

Makeup?
No. What? Yeah.

With Merle, I'm the only one who can

see how beautiful she really is.

You like Spitzweg?

No, better not. Thanks.

Dear Merle.

With ... with this picture
I want to show ...

... what you ... what you, for me ...

Merle, look at that.

It's ...

I'll take it.

Oh.

Completely blows up my budget,
but Merle also blows up my ...

She'll just fall over when she sees this.

We'll go right to the bedroom.

What the heck, I'll take it.

Be sure when you pack it,
it says "Gallery Ravenbach" on it,

so she'll see right away:
this is art.

Mr. Kirschelich
has just passed away.

I'm sorry, that's ...

That changes the situation
with the painting.

Sure, but I don't have to
tell Merle about all that.

Now it costs 5,000 Euro.

Until now.

A dead contemporary is
worth more than a living one?

Because of the tragedy,
the painting is of more interest.

With tragedy, you can earn more.

I can't help the circumstances.

It would be in the best
interest of Mr. Kirschelich

if I sold his legacy for a good price.

I think it'd mean more to him
that someone enjoyed his picture.

Like Merle.
I guess he should've given it away.

Hm?

Hm.

I just sprayed in here,
so it has to dry for 20 minutes.

I'm going to go get a sausage.
Go ahead.

And get the door!

Otherwise some life might get in.

Hm?

Hm.

4.60.

And if I pay cash?
4.60.

Fine.

This is scribbled on.
It is?
Yeah, here.

I didn't notice.
Do you have any others?
That's still good!

Did you just come out of the gallery?

Someone was killed, right?
It was an accident.

Are you an artist, too?
No! I'm a crime scene cleaner.

My work begins,
where others merely ...

If a murder happens,
I clean up the blood.

A man, cleaning?!

Like no one else.

Properly?
Yes, of course.

Maybe you can clean my cart.
That would cost more than a currywurst.

Does it pay well?
31.50.

Well I'll be darned.
31.50 an hour?!

When I used to clean,
I got paid 6.50.

I don't clean bad, either.

There's a picture hanging in there
made of real money. 120,000 Euro.

Costs 1 million.
Really?

That doesn't impress you?
No way.

Anything more than 500 Euro
basically doesn't exist for me.

15,000 or 500,000 Euro -
makes no difference.

I have this cart here,
a boy whose turned out good ...

Unfortunately my husband's gone.

But I'm healthy.

There's this one picture in the gallery
that I would really like.

One on hand I think it's nice.

On the other I could
impress a woman.

Paint something yourself.

The main thing is that it
comes from your heart.

Like this sausage, right?
Right.

Have any bread?

I hope it hits the spot.

The fifth from the Scolatti set, yes!

There's been tons of people
in and out today ...

Maybe someone slipped it out
and pocketed it.

Listen! She's coming any moment now!

A five, you said?
A 5 Euro bill?

I didn't notice anything.

I don't have anything ...

What's so special about it?

One of the most consistent
works from Scolatti.

A hand-signed set of bills.

But the value of it
comes from the ensemble.

Without the five, it's worthless.

And with the five ...?
142,000.

And it would be picked up right away.

Yes, what?!

No, it hasn't turned up!
I don't know!

Yeah, maybe you
should reconsider!

I need the five back.
I'll trade it for the Currywurst!

Seriously, I need it!

Here, I'll get the change later.
No, no, I'll get you another one.

No, I need the one with the scribble!
Why?
I'll explain later! Come on!

Nope.
What?

I gave it out already.
What! To who?!

Earlier someone paid
with a twenty.

And where did they go?
That way.

What was he wearing?

Jacket, pants, normal.

Nothing that stands out?

Moped.

Ah, shit.

Shit.

Super-shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

Wow, how's that for luck?

Holy shit.

Bullshit.

Oh, shit.

I think, I might ...

I have to confess -
about the five.

It's turned up.
What?!
It fell under the counter.

Yeah, but ... the ...

The ...
That's great luck.

I thought it was stolen.

Are you finished with your break?

Yeah.

Hi.

So.

If I could get a
signature from you here

on the receipt about
the disclaimer.

What a special gift.

Your husband will be very happy.

Otherwise he'd get an ashtray -
like every other year.

Goodbye.
Goodbye.

Ms. Ravenbach?

I ... I'm leaving, alright?

Wait one moment.

Here you go.
Oh, thanks.

It's a good thing the original
Scholatti five is back.
You said it.

Otherwise you'd be in trouble.

Whoever stole it
would be in trouble.

I have definitely
learned a lot.

About art ... and originals ...

That's the beautiful thing about my job:
One can always keep learning.

Who knows? Maybe one day
I'll write a book.

By the way:

The painting that you
were interested in ...
Yes?

I don't want to profit from
Kicherlich's death.

That surprises me.
You can have it for 5 Euro.

Deal. I'll take it.

Here! You got lucky again!

The guy with the moped came back.
I had to sprint over ...

What moped? I have no idea
what you're talking about.

The moped driver!

With the five ...
I don't have a moped!

You just said ...
What would I do with a moped?!

Enough, already.

Moped, moped, I don't want a moped!

You just told me ...
We must have had a misunderstanding.

I guess I have to say it more clearly.

You are not my type.

Please leave.

But ...
I cannot be bought.

May I?
No.

Looks like just like
Scholatti's signature.

What?! That's not possible.

Yes, it is ... definitely ...

That ... it has to be ...
It's a fake.

The original Scolatti is ...
in the glass set.

Yes, this is a forgery.

An amateurish one at that.

Did you make this forgery?
Me?!

Of course not, I swear ...

Are you fraudulently attempting

to sell me a forged Scolatti?

I can't be hearing this right,
I have ...
Goodbye.

Goodbye!

Some people!