Close Enough (2020–…): Season 3, Episode 3 - Randy Free Solos/Summer Job - full transcript

Josh: This place rules.

Like they shoved a
mountain in a Home Depot.

Oh yeah, bro. I can't
wait to grab some wall.

What do you say, Pearle?
Wanna give it a shot?

Hell no!

I didn't survive 30
years on the force

to die climbing a plastic rock.

I'm gonna sit right here

and watch people dangle
from they crotches.

Now remember, we gotta make
the most of this free trial.

We're gonna climb every
wall in the joint and then



never... come... back.

Hey, there, team!

I'm Ty.

Just wanted to give
you a big fat welcome

before you grab some wall.

I-I-I like... to climb.

Me too, brother.
Good luck up there!

I'll be rootin'
ya on from up top.

Hoo! Whoo!

O-Okay.

Time to show him I am
not just a pretty face.

Ugh!

Uh, Randy, doesn't that seem

a little dangerous
for a beginner?



How else am I gonna charm a
guy in a climbing gym, Emily?

God, listen to yourself.

Hey, Ty!

Huh? Check this out!

Whoops! How did that get untied?

Safety first, guys.

Aaaah!

Aaaah! Oh!

Whaa! Aaaaaah!

Hoo!

Huh? Hold the phone!

Did you just free solo
the Verte-Braeker?

Um. Yeah!

I'm kind of an
expert, uh, climbist?

I'm the only other person in
the gym who's ever done that!

I-I guess that means we have to

go on a date. Heh!

You just free soloed the
hardest section of the gym

just to ask me out?

Uh, pretty much.

I love it! It's a date.

Here's my number. Ooh.

Randy, you freakin'
hunk, you still got it.

Aah!

And like I said, this guy's
got a knife, and I'm cornered.

So I just start doing a
bunch of karate kicks.

Hyah! Hyah!

Scared him so bad
he dropped the knife

and ran straight into a bush.

Oh, my God. Hero!

Also I had no idea
possums could hold knives.

Uh, yeah, they can hold
pretty much anything.

Being a building manager
sounds terrifying.

And I attempted Akira!

Shyeah! Tetsuoooo!

No, Akira... the climbing route.

In France. Oh. That Akira.
In France. Oh. That Akira.

Yeah, uh, I did that one.

You finished Akira?

It's one of the hardest
climbs in the world!

I... knew that?

Whoa, baby! Let's eat!

Oh, um, we didn't order this.

I did!

Grab a spoon!

If we finish in under
30 minutes it's free.

Aah! What are we even doing?!

I haven't had
lactose in six years.

YOLO!

Ohhh, yeah.

Love the feeling
of a giant, free

frozen brick in your stomach.

Normally I'd say doing
an eating challenge

on a first date was
a little unhinged,

but you're just so genuine.

Ah, it's all part of my ethos.

Gotta live that
chillsplosion life.

Chillsplosion?

Yeah. You take
things easy, relaxed,

then do something crazy,
then go back to chillin'.

You
are absolute chaos!

Um, what are you doing?

Chillsploding! Climb on up!

You're a climber, right?

Oh, uh, I don't know.
Like I always say,

"Never climb anything
with a tum full of cream."

Nah, you got this.

Here, take my hand.

Oh!

Mm. Ah!

Ah! I did it!

Um, just like I always do!

Oh, wow. Look at that.

If you think this is good,
you should see the view

from on top of the Eagle Rock.

What are you doing
next Saturday?

Uh, that's usually
crochet day with my mom,

but Lord knows she's
canceled on me enough.

Well, then, you and I
are gonna free solo.

Eagle Rock and look out
at the perfect sunset.

You're gonna love it.

Um, could you call
the fire department?

Randy: He's just incredible.

Game for anything, positive.

A frickin' hunk?

So shallow, Emily.

I'm not in it for the looks,

but, yes, he is a
slab of chiseled beef,

in the spirit and in the body.

Sounds like things are
off to a great start.

It's the first time in forever

I've felt an actual
connection with someone.

I don't want to screw it up,

which is why I
can never tell him

I'm not an expert rock climber.

Randy, you have to come clean!

Lies are the number-two thing
that ruin a relationship!

What's number one?

The 405.

Look, it's not a big deal.

I mean, Bridgette and Alex
lie to each other all the time

and they're still married.

No, we aren't! Oh, no!

You two were so good together.

That's why you need
to tell Ty the truth.

Stop trying to trap me!

It's not like I'm gonna
have to keep lying.

We're just gonna free solo
a little mountain together,

and then I'm sure we'll
never do it again.

Ugh, okay, fine!

I'll stop lying

by getting so good at climbing

that everything I said
isn't a lie anymore.

Happy now?!

Margo: So you must be Randy.

What inspired you to
get into climbing?

Oh, I told a guy I'm dating
I'm an expert climber,

and I don't want
him to know I lied.

That's like 90% of
our business, girl.

We'll get you whipped
into shape in no time.

Ugh!

Aaaah!

Aaah! Ooh.

Aah!

Wha-at! Aaah!

Whoa! Ow.

Honestly, Miss Randy,

you're the worst
climber I've ever seen.

I'm surprised you
can get into bed.

Look, if you value your life,
you shouldn't go anywhere

near a steep curb,
much less a cliff face.

But I have to impress this guy
or he'll never be my boyfriend!

Then tell him the truth.

Now, sashay away.

Uh, what?

Get the hell outta here!

Psst. Hey. Buddy.

Couldn't help but overhear
you're havin' a little trouble

in the mountaineering
department.

Maybe I can interest you in
some, uh, safety measures?

What is this?

Inflatable crash pad.

You fall, simply press
the red button, and poof.

Surrounds you in a
protective shell.

Guaranteed not to kill
you, or your money back.

Money back. And
this really works?

You tell me.

If it's printed on the
box, it's got to be true.

I'll take it! Thanks,
shadowy figure!

Psst. Hey.

You need an immersion blender?

Randy, please don't do this.

Yeah, can't you just tell Ty
that you're sick or something?

Oh, so now it's okay to lie?

Wow, Bridgette. You
sound like Emily.

Randy, I know I always told
you to follow your heart,

but now I realize
that was stupid.

Get your ass inside
before you die.

Mom, come on, it's fine!
I've got it taken care of!

Hey, Randy!

Ready to climb the sheerest
cliff face in Los Angeles?

You bet I am! Huh!

Mwah!

Goodbye, Randy's beautiful
friends and family!

And not for the
last time, either!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Uh, whaaaaaaaa...

Prepare for the most
romantic evening

of your entire life.

Uh, you know me...
Always prepared.

Then let's go!

Chillsplosion!

Okay. No big deal.

Lust got you to the top of
the first thing you climbed.

It can do it again.

Sorry if this one's a
little easy for you.

Uh, whoo!

Don't worry about it.

Feels good to really
dominate an... oh, shit!

Aaaaaah!

Go, go!

Stupid cheap last resort!

Aaaaaah!

Aaah! Oh!

Randy!

Aaaaah!

Ah! Ugh!

Oh, God, I should've
listened to my mom!

Randy, please tell
me you're alive.

Ty and I... ahh! Gah!
Ty and I... ahh! Gah!

Aaaaaah!

What?

Ty! Since we're doomed,
I have to say...

I have no idea how to climb!

Yeah,
I kinda noticed that.

I didn't want to lie to you.

I even went to another
climbing gym to try to learn.

Randy, you didn't need to prove
anything to me as a climber.

I was attracted to
your weirdo confidence.

Plus, I rarely date
other climbers.

They're too clingy.

Okay, see, that...

That's just funny.

Aaah!

Just let me go, Ty!

Save yourself!

Love another!

No! We're gonna
get through this.

Hold on, baby. Mama's comin'!

Your mom owns a helicopter?

It's just a loaner.

Aw, yeah, Ma! Whoo-hoo!

Randy, don't...!

Whoo! Whoo!

Oh. Whoops.

Aaaaaaah!

Ah! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh, gah, gah!

Ooh. Aaaaah! Oof! Aah!

Ahhh. Wahhh!

I'm okay.

Randy:
Ty, I'm so sorry.

Can we start over?

Randy, I'd love to.
You're a great guy.

Unfortunately, you went
to another climbing gym,

and that's just more than I can
emotionally handle right now.

Heh, heh, left, right,
left.

I hate to see him go,

but I love to watch him leave.

Alex: Ugh.

Ugggh!

Ah! I must've scratched the DVD
when I used it as a coaster.

Okay. The serve.

This is the opening
line in the love letter

that is your volleyball game.

Hit it hard and straight
to keep your aim true.

Ah-gahhhhh!

It is good to be the dean. Oh!

Ooh!

Okay, your turn.

Uh, uh, Goose, you're up.

My name is Helen.

I've had enough of
your excuses, Goose!

Come on, guys, let's check out

that new fro-yo
stand in the quad.

Oh, well, don't
come crying to me

when you're in a dog
fight with a Russian MiG.

Dean Stapleton: When I said
you could coach PE this summer,

I didn't think you would
base it on "Top Gun."

Please call me Jester.

You have one hell
of a serve, pal,

but two of our elderly students

need hip replacement
replacements.

I'm sorry, Alex. You're out.

Please, Dean Stapleton,

money is very tight
for me right now.

I need this job. Nah.

I'll see you in the fall

for whatever Viking
bullshit you teach.

Uh, it's actually "Intro to
Deciphering Runes and..."

You're right. It's
Viking bullshit.

If I can't keep a job
as a community college.

PE coach, what can I do?

Alex, you'll find something.

You could always
deliver newspapers.

Or pick up trash.

Or... start a podcast.

Um, I have a podcast, guys.

"Comedy Dorp Dorp"?

I'm on episode 177!

Are you guys not listening?

Oh, right. Loved that one about the thing.
Oh, right. Loved that one about the thing.

Forget it. Like every
other college professor,

I'm incapable of being anything
other than a college professor.

Wait. Plugger-Inners is always
looking for temp employees.

Really? Yeah!

I'll call my boss right now.

Ezra, it's Josh!

Mm-hmm, yeah, he is.

I promise.

Okay, sounds good.
We'll see you tomorrow.

What just happened?

Ezra assumed I wanted to
help get someone a job

since I've never,
ever called him,

so he said, "He'd
better be good!"

Then I said, "He is. I promise!"

And he kept going on,
so I cut him off with,

"Okay, sounds good.
We'll see you tomorrow."

You shouldn't
interrupt your boss.

We have a family
and responsib...

New lunch buddy alert!

Yeah! Ha-ha!

Guys! Say hi to Alex.

Josh? Is this the Alex who
still uses a flip phone?

The friend who you said,

"knows everything about
everything except technology"?

How'd you get him past Ezra?

I may have
told Ezra that Alex

got his doctorate from
M.I.T. in TV installation.

Okay, I just hope
Ezra doesn't find out.

You know what he does to
people who lie to him.

Well

we'll just have to
keep it from Ezra.

Randy: Wow!

When did TVs get so flat?

All: Aaah!

Good day in the field, boys?

Ezra! I-I-I didn't
see you there.

Josh, it says here that you
and your little friend Alex

successfully hooked a
customer's dog up to Wi-Fi?

Great work.

Really?

No! They filed a complaint!

And so did the dog.

He sent a tweet.

When Josh asked me to hire you,

he gave me very
distinct "Mm-hmm,"

which led me to believe you
were qualified for this job.

Alex just had an off day.

But he's a pro, don't worry.

I've got my eye on you.

All of you!

Mm! Mm!

Oh, boy. You guys gotta help me.

I can't lose this job.

I already live in a closet,
and that's with a paycheck.

I don't know, man.

I'm just trying to
keep my own job.

We all needed help
when we first started.

Anders, remember when you
didn't know the difference

between shielding
cables and foil cables?

H-How could I forget?

Or Dante, when you
downloaded all that porn

using a client's Wi-Fi?

We said it belonged
to all of us.

I can never watch porn
without thinking of you guys.

All of us are gonna help Alex,

and we're going to
do it using these.

We can log our house calls
under his employee number.

Do I get one?

Yep.

Aww.

Let's roll.

- Yes!
- Man, we nailed it!

- Total!
- Yeah, man!

All: Aaah!

You got some interesting
reviews today, boys.

How did Alex install a
car stereo in Anaheim

at the exact same time

he was wiring a security
system in Palmdale?

I got really lucky with traffic.

And it says here that you
pimped three rides in an hour.

That's statistically unpimpable.

I told
you, he's the best.

Mmmmmmm.

Okay!

I think I've finally
found my new team leader.

Congrats, Alex.

You're promoted.

Oh. Oh, um...

Ezra: It's perfect timing.

We could really use a
man with your expertise

since we just landed a huge job.

What huge job?

The City of Los Angeles
wants us to install

a massive billboard
on Sunset Boulevard.

It's going to play a
video reminding drivers

to keep their eyes on the road.

That's not a big
job. That's epic!

Good thing we have Alex,
the guy so great at his job

none of you will
shut up about it.

Can't wait to finally
watch this guy in action

with my own judgmental,
vindictive eyes.

Good. Lock it in.

I don't know if
this is gonna work.

It's gonna work.

We gave Alex those
A.R. goggles, remember?

Alex?

You've got this.

By the way, I definitely
didn't tamper with those.

Josh! You sure he
knows what he's doing?

Josh: Alex knows
what he's doing.

A total pro.

Okay, Alex, wrench your nuts
till they're tight as hell.

Start at the top and
work your way down.

Come on. Agh!

Mm.

We did it!

- Big screen, baby!
- Whoo!

Guys, we're going to
the Cheesecake Factory!

- Alright! Yeah!
- Whoo!

What is that place?

Why would they make that button?

Guys! What do I do?!

Alex! All you gotta do is hit
the left cable winch button!

Oh, God! How am
I gonna do that?!

Just hit the up arrow!

Just hit the up arrow?

Uh, uh, think, Alex.

Hey! Agh!

Come on, Alex, use your head.

Ah!

Ah-gahhhhh!

Oh!

Huh.

I'll see you in the fall

for whatever Viking
bullshit you teach.

Aaaah!

You can do it! We
believe in you, Alex!

Hahhh!

- Whoa!
- Oh.

Ah-gahhhhh!

- Whoa!
- Oh, yeah!

- Ah!
- We're good.

Whoo!

Thank you again, Maverick.

Ugh!

Oooh.

Wowie zowie!

You guys make installing a TV
look like a Tom Cruise movie.

Because we do our own stunts?

No, because it's
"Risky Business."

And you... you were incredible.
And you... you were incredible.

Hell, after a stunt like
that, you should be my boss.

Uh, I can't.

See, the fall semester
is starting back up,

and that's where
I really belong.

We all have to be the fighter
pilots of our own blue skies,

and for me, that's
teaching Viking mythology

to a group of students
who are only in it

for an easy two credits.

Give the money to these guys.

They're the real heroes.

Nobody is getting a raise.