Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011): Season 2, Episode 18 - Beware of the Butt - full transcript

Beavis & Butt-Head harass the customers at a drive-in movie theater.

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BABES R US

- Buttcheeks!
- Yeah.

You've heard of us, now, it's time
you feel the wrath, gentleman!

Get you slimy bones
down here to "Babes R Us",

for the most mighty and intoxicating,

female mud head
oil wrestling in the galaxy!

- Wow, cool!
- Yeah.

"Chuck E. Cheez" here
can't wait to see you...

But the one questions
remains to be answered:

are you man enough to take on the
most beautiful women in the world?

Where are you dudes!?



Wow! We got work to do.
We gonna climb all over that, dude.

Yeah.
All over it.

I like chicks with leather jackets.

Yeah, me too.

Push what?

Push it! Push it! Push it!

What did they talking about, Beavis?

Push what?

- Push that little button on the remote.
- Yeah.

Get off the phone, dude,
she wants it.

He is gonna have some phone sex.

Check it out Beavis.

- He's gonna drive through headset.
- Yeah.

- He must work at "Burger World".
- Yeah.



I would like a quarter pounder,

and 2 dozen chicks in tight shorts.

Thank you, drive thru!

- This guy gets all the chicks.
- Yeah.

- This guy is cool.
- Yeah.

- Is he talking about humpin' a hound?
- Yeah.

That would be cool.

It would?

Wow!

Got to get the chaps up before we gonna
drill those units down at "Babes R Us".

Yeah.

I'm gonna get ready by kicking
your butt all over this hole.

- Butthole.
- Yeah.

This is gonna be cool.

Hey spank your own monkey all you want
but keep your hands off from mine!

- You're dead.
- No way.

Butthole!

What do you guys doing?

Diarrea-cha-cha-cha! Diarrea-cha-cha-cha!
Diarrea-cha-cha-cha!

Get a life.

What exactly do you call this?

Were gonna be cool,
like the "American Gladiators"!

Yeah.

What's with the bikini tops?

We're gonna get a real women
down at "Babes R Us"!

Yeah.

Oh, they gonna love you guys.

That was cool.

Now, for the last and
most intense move.

- Cool! Hope you got that one down.
- Yeah.

Dude, it is the most radical empire
to all that which is radical.

Yeah.

That's cool.

Come on filling my...

Come on!

Good evening, I'm Telly.
How can I help you tonight?

2 Please.

How old are you fellas?

- 15.
- Yeah.

- I mean 27.
- Yeah.

Not tonight, boys. Call me when you
get some pubes, m'kay?

- Don't make me smack you.
- Yeah.

Oh, Thor!

Thor!

- That was not cool.
- No.

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Baaa, Baaa, Baaa".

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa".

Ladies and gentleman
the "Butthole surfers"!

The "Butthole surfers"! Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah!

These guys got their
name from me.

No way!

Really, these are "Butthole surfers",
your name is Butt-Head!

Oh, yeah!

Hey Butt-Head, you think
these guys getting chicks?

Yeah.

Damn, it's like... it's like...
the name of the band is "Butthole Surfers"

and the chicks probably like that.

Yeah, but they probably, like,
tell chicks they are in Mötley Crüe.

Yeah, yeah. I bet that
Vince Neil tells chicks that too.

Come on, Thor! Don't make
me shove this thing up your butt.

Hey baby, wanna wrestle?

- That chick has small boobs.
- Yeah.

You can tell even with that
black square on them.

How many times do I have to say this?
I hate videos with words.

Yeah.

- If I wanted to read, I'd go to school.
- Yeah.

How come they put those black things
on all the girls' thingies?

Yeah.

That's sucks!

- How come they don't show boobs?
- Yeah! yeah.

Wow!

- Girls.
- Yeah. Wow.

- Wow these chicks rock!
- Yeah! Yeah!

Is that Cindy Brady?

Shut up Beavis!
These chicks are cool.

Oh, yeah.

Fire?

Fire!... Fire!, Fire!
Yeah! Fire! Fire!

Shut up, assmunch, she said "liar"

Are you calling me a liar?

No, I'm calling you a
waste of bumwipe!

Hey Butt-head,
check it out.

"You"!
...slut!

Shut up Beavis, you're ruining it!

Fire? Fire! Fire!
Fire!...Fire!

Liar!

- Shut up!
- No way, Butt-Head.

- Don't make me kick your ass again Beavis.
- Shut up Butt-head!

Settle down Beavis!
We're missing this video.

- And it doesn't even suck.
- Oh, yeah.