Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011): Season 2, Episode 1 - Customers Suck - full transcript

Beavis and Butt-Head decides to ignore the customers and piss them off as they had enough of them for one day.

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SCIENTIFIC STUFF

And that was the first time
a teacher was shot into space.

Cool.

That was the most offensive
science report I've ever heard.

How could you do such a thing?

Beavis helped me.

Yeah.

Well, you boys would just have
to do another science project.

- But, we are out of the firecrackers.
- And this time I want,

you to work with Daria Morgendorffer.

Our strait "A" student who won
a science award last year.



But, Mrs. Dickie.

Beavis and Butt-Head,

are complete imbeciles!
- Yeah, she's right.

No, Daria, I'm sure this will be
a learning experience for all concerned.

Oh no! We have to work with Diarrhea.

That chick is really hung.

That wasn't funny, dumbass.

How could they didn't want that dude
back in "Duran Duran"?

Cause he sucks.

- This guy think he's, like, smart.

- Yeah, college music sucks.
- Yeah.

I think it's only cool
if you, like, go to college.

- This video is, like, complicated.
- Yeah, it's stupid.

Wow! "Cult" rules!



Yeah, these guys kick-ass.

That would be cool if you could, like,
watch this video over and over again.

Yeah, you could do that if you got
one of those... uh... those uh... CPRs

Yeah, those things are cool.

Tattoos are cool.

Yeah. I wish I was born with a tattoo.

That would be cool.

No, dumbass, you aren't
born with them.

You get them when
you join the Navy.

Yeah, I'm gonna get one.
That would be cool.

Yeah, you can have "I'm a wuss"
tattooed across your butt.

Shut up, Butt-head!
I'll kick your ass!

- This gonna booed at someone.
- Yeah, that would be cool.

He's gonna poo.

It's her.

Hey, Butt-Head.

Hey, Diarr... I mean Daria.

You guys think
of any new science projects?

Yeah, if pour salt you on a snail
a lot of scientific stuff happens.

We could burn some ants.

We can have Butt-Head sit on
a big glass jar and fart.

What scientific about that?

Nothing till you light it.

Where does the person learn
a skill like that?

Everything I know,
I learned from my dad.

Yeah, me too.

Really?
You both have the same dad?

We are not sure.
It's possible.

I think I have an idea
for our science report.

By changing the shape of my mouth,
I create different vibrators.

Vibrations!

Vibrations.

That can be used to play a song.

My uncle told me this trick
only he used a bat.

Thank you.

Here is something my dad taught me.

If you, like, take 3 deep breaths
and than you blow on your thumb,

sometimes you pass out.

And, so, we rase an age old question.

Idiocy -
genetic or environmental?

I think our examples of
Beavis and Butt-Head indicate that both

are contributing factors.

I rest my case.

Yes!
These guys are cool.

Oh, man! This part sucks.

Yeah, this song was cool till
they started getting all wimpy.

For such a big muscular dude he
shares things like a wuss.

Yeah.

Rock! Rock dude!

Yes!
It's about time they stop being wimpy.

Wow.

Come to Butt-Head.

Hey, Beavis,
would you lick her hockaloogie on you?

Yeah, yeah.
That would be cool.

Cool!

You guys were great.

I don't know anyone else willing to
make such them fools of themselves.

Hey, Diarrhea.

- Yeah?
- Do you, like, get periods?

Butt-Head why don't you
try this experiment?

Analyse the friction caused by
digitally oscillating your Wiener.

That was cool.

- Is this, like, satanic music?
- No way, dude, it's not cool enough.

If you play this backwards
it says "This sucks".

Yeah.

These guys are from, like,
Austria or something.

- Yeah,
- like that crocodile dude - "The Outback"

He said outback.

Hey, Butt-Head, check this out.
"Hey dingo took your baby"

He said dingo.

What if a dingo
beat off your dingle?

That would be cool.

No,

that would suck.

Hey, Beavis, let's rock.

I wish I had an
eye in my hand.

That would be cool.

Yeah, you could, like, reach around
doors and look inside at people.

He said "reach around".

I love "The Red Hot Chilli Peppers"

Yeah. They're cool.

Wow! Did you see that?

- His shirt said "Mr. Bunghole"
- Yeah.

"What is it?"

"What is it?"

Rain sucks.

I wish this video had,
like, some explosions.

- That would be cool.
- It does have some explosions.

Fairies grant wishes.

Shut up, asswipe!