Angry Boys (2011): Season 1, Episode 8 - Episode #1.8 - full transcript

Kids, come on. We're going to have
the photo. Don't want to!

Yes, you do. Come on.

DANIEL: It's bullshit.

Mum's making us do
this big family photo.

She's going to stick it in
with the wedding invitation.

Me and Nathan got these poof-like
matching shirts and shit

that we have to wear.

I'll give it ten seconds before
the timer goes off, so get ready.

DANIEL: It's shit. I hate photos.

Nath's such a funny fucker.

Sometimes, like,
he used to do this thing



where he'd stick his middle finger
up in photos, right?

Here we go. See, middle finger.

Me, Mum and Nath. Middle finger.

Julia, fucking up her photo.

He does this thing lately, right?
It's called 'sneaky nuts'.

And basically what it is,

is Nath gets his nuts out in the back
of a photo, but like in a sneaky way.

I'll show you. See?
Here he is with me and my mates.

Nuts out.

Here we go. Sometimes he'll get
two nuts out.

Sometimes he'll do one nut,
like over the top,

sometimes through the fly.

He just, like, he mixes it up,

so you never know
what you're going to get.



That's Christmas time.

Outside the church,
Nath whips out a nut.

It's fucking funny, man.

School.

What's he got...
Yeah, he's got one out there.

Jamie and Julia, Nathan.
Didn't even realise.

That's Mum and her friend Debbie.

(Laughs) He's such a classic.
I love it.

I fucking love it.
It's such a good idea.

That's this Christmas card
Mum had made.

Mum didn't even realise
Nath's got his nuts out.

Mum goes off if she ever catches him,

but she never does,
'cause he's too sneaky.

Alright, the orange light's
going to flash. Daniel.

OK.

Smile, dickheads.

STEVE: Say 'cheese'.
(Camera clicks)

Thanks, guys. That'll look really
great on the wedding invitations.

? Theme music

BLAKE: Sometimes you've just got to
put stuff in a box

and move on, you know?

Like, I've got no balls,
fact of life.

I have no balls.
Move on. Deal with it.

I've spoken to Kareena about the idea
of getting fakies,

going in for an operation,
but, yeah, she's not all that keen.

There's been some developments
in ball transplants,

like, they take a dead dude's balls,
like,

and they wire them up into your sac
of another dude.

Yeah, but do you want another
bloke's balls in your sac?

I don't.

Whoo!

BLAKE: The Fat Boy Surf School's
kind of on hold for now,

so I've got a bit of time
on my hands.

It's been good, though,

spending time with the family
before the baby's born.

Just Jake and Tahlia, they're pretty
fun to hang out with.

I think they find me
quite entertaining.

Ohhh!

I grew up with only brothers,
so I've only ever known blokes.

So when Tahlia came along, like,
just the idea of having a chick kid

was pretty weird.

Like, I didn't really know
what to do with her.

But the thing is, once I got to know
Tahlia, she's unreal.

Like, you just got to adapt your
games a bit for chick kids, I find.

Ohhh!

They love pink, you know?
Anything pink, just awesome.

You wave a bit of pink
in front of her

and she's just, like,
so fucking happy.

Did that hurt?

Being a dad there's heaps of stuff
you got to consider.

Like shit like nudity.

Like, you come out of the bathroom or
something, you got your cock out,

you don't want a kid to see it,
especially a chick kid.

So you make sure you cover up.

I have a policy of always covering up
in front of kids.

When I see him mucking round with
Jake and Tahlia like that

I just think, 'That's real Blake,'
you know?

Get him away from the gang mates.

He's actually
just a really lovely bloke.

Blake.
What?

What are you doing?
Just a trick for the kids.

It's not really appropriate.
Oh, baby, yeah!

Shit, man.

Alright, fellas, in the chat circle,
please.

Form a chat circle.

GRAN: We've just had Talib come back
from his court case yesterday,

and the results weren't too
favourable, unfortunately.

The animal molestation charges
were stacked up against him.

And we were holding out some hope

that his mum might have something
nice to say about him,

but apparently she was quite mean.

So he's got the 18 months
imprisonment,

which is devastating for him.

And... Hm.

I don't know what mother
would do that to their own son.

But, er... I don't get it.

For those of you who don't know,
we go all out on Family Day.

So we're down to
the visitors' room this time.

GRAN: We do family day
four times a year.

We invite the families along.

It's a good opportunity for them
to interact with their sons

and share their lives
inside Garingal.

Full security measures
will be in force.

So it's no touching, no hugging,
no kissing. That includes babies.

GRAN: For most of these guys
it's the parents that come in.

We do have brothers, sisters.

Girlfriends will often come in
and visit,

which is quite exciting.

Can we take our girls into our cells
for some quiet time? No, No!

It's been a while.
We don't do conjugals for minors.

Hey, Jacob, if we did,
I'd take your sister in there.

OTHERS: Ooh!
Come on, settle down, guys.

I don't have to do this. I'm doing
this as a favour for you guys.

I'm an officer. It's not my job.

Now, clothes-wise on the day
I want full uniforms,

no rolled up sleeves, no cut-offs,
no rolled up trackies.

Penny's going to be bringing in
her GHD hair straightener

for those boys who want to straighten
their hair

and spruce themselves up
for the ladies.

Hey, Gran, what if my mum brings in
my dog and Talib tries to wank it?

(Boys laugh)
That's an old joke.

Funny the first time.
It's not funny anymore.

Sausage boy!
Leave him alone.

Shut up, or I'll cancel Family Day!

Is that what you want?
No.

Show a little bit of respect, please.

Is that Nathan, man?
DANIEL: Yeah, it is.

Oh, it's shit, 'cause Nath, like,
he pulls way more chicks than me,

and he looks exactly the same as me.

Nathan!

Get in the car.
We've got to go home.

Mum wants you.

Nathan!

Like, what's a chick thinking

to choose a guy
that doesn't fucking talk,

is a little bit retarded?

BLACK DANIEL: Weird, man.
Fucking way retarded.

When she could have the same shit,
but, like, a decent bloke

who's, like, funny and cool and that,
with me.

(Speaks indistinctly)
And it's shit, though, 'cause, like,

all the methods that Nath's using to
chat up chicks, he's learnt from me.

Yeah, 'cause he's deaf, man.
Same shit I've taught you boys too.

Yeah, chicks love...
They love the deaf thing.

'Oh, he's so cute. He doesn't
hear me. I love that shit.'

Nath! Come on!

I don't know, he's sort of got this
reputation in the last few months

of being, like, a ladies' man
and that.

Like, Nath's hooked up with
that many fucking chicks.

Not as many as me. Like, equal.

Yeah, but all the chicks he's
hooked up with are the feral ones.

Yeah, those chicks he was talking to
this morning, pretty fucking feral.

JAYDEN: He wouldn't get Chloe.

No-one would get Chloe, though.

Chloe doesn't like any blokes.

Chloe Garrity is this really fucking
hot chick.

She works in the video shop.
She's 19.

And she's never gone out
with any blokes,

hasn't hooked up with anyone
and done it.

Like, she goes down to Adelaide
and stuff, apparently,

and goes to, like, nightclubs
and shit.

Yeah. That's weird.

Around here she's just, she sort of,
you can't...

She's untouchable, man.
She's a bitch.

I reckon I could get her, like.

Nah. Dude, there's no chance.
If I use my...

I fucking could.

Nah, if I tried my hardest...
Nah, she's pure bitch.

..I reckon I could get Chloe Garrity.
You would have no chance. No way.

Maybe I'll prove you wrong.
Let's got there and I'll show you.

Right.

LOKI: Oi, she can see us, idiot.
It's good if she sees us.

JAYDEN: Who cares?
It's phase one, boys.

Getting noticed.

Try and act tough.

Hold toughness.

Oh!

Don't fucking copy my move, dickhead!
Fuck you, man!

What fucking homos hang out,

two dudes at the front of their car
doing that shit?

Exactly, man.
Then don't copy my shit!

She's seen you.
We can't just stand here.

Phase two, boys. Phase two.

(Engine revs)

Do you reckon she noticed that?
Yeah, she'd notice that shit.

Let's go in, boys.

JAYDEN: Show off your skills,
big boy.

Shut up. I know what I'm doing.
She's gonna get suss.

Where is she?
Fuck, I don't know.

Where'd she go?

Can I help you guys with something?
Um, nah.

Just chilling, just browsing.

Alright.

Alright, got a plan. Come here.

What the fuck are they doing?

Oi. Oi.
What's he got?

It's a porno.

I got a plan. I got a plan.
Hold that.

Alright, check this out.
Look at that shit, man.

See this, guys? Video card.

Hey, Chloe.
Hi.

Do you need my card at all?

There you go.

Is my card warm at all,
did you notice?

Why?

'Cause it's been on my dick.
What?

Nothing, I'm just...

Um, just wondering if I could rent
this movie.

And are you in it?

And would you want to be in it
with me?

Dan, can you fuck off?
Alright.

Can I have my card?

Get in the car. Boys, get in the car.

Come on, boys, let's roll.
Get in the fucking car!

BLAKE: Alright, guys, sleep tight.

I'll leave the light on.
I'll be back to turn it off later.

Do the trumpet!
Mum doesn't like it.

Do the trumpet!

Alright. What sound
does a trumpet make?

(Farts)
(Kids laugh)

Oh, disgusting!

Kareena, the kids
are doing farts up there.

KAREENA: You're so disgusting.
They are.

Could you not do that?
They're your kids.

Yeah, they'll be my problem in
the middle of the night. (Knocking)

Is that Hunter?
No, he'd go round the back.

Alright, I got Chinese takeaway
for you!

Ashley! Jesus, mate!

How you been, alright?
What's going on?

Good to see you!
Likewise, mate.

When did you get out?
Today.

You came straight here?
Yeah, fucking right now.

Mate, you remember Kareena?

G'day, Kareena, how you going?
Ashley.

Jeez, you're looking good, mate!

Thanks, mate. Prison food. Fucking
best diet you could go on.

Yeah? Awesome!

Shit, we got heaps to catch up on.
Fucking oath we do.

Can I get you a beer, mate?
Yeah, sweet.

Can you grab us a couple of beers?

Unreal. Can't believe you're here,
mate. This is awesome.

? Slam my elbow
You do it like this

? Slam my, slam my elbow
You do it like this... ?

Do we have to do it
to this gay-arse song?

Yes, we do. I'm not having bad
language music for the parents.

Talib, bit more effort from you,
please, mate.

Come on, get into it.

This is it, guys.
Full energy on this one.

Krump it. Krump it.
Krumping, krumping, krumping.

Spin, spin, down and lean.

Forward.

Up. Bang. Fist it.

Attitude, attitude.

Hold your pose. Up, please, Imran.

Much more energy required
when we're there for the parents.

WOMAN: You should be very pleased
with yourself.

The boys have devised it, mostly.

It's very modern.
It's that style that they're into.

I can see that.

And great to see Talib
involved the way he is.

Yes, he's a good boy.
Coming along alright?

Not talking still.
Oh, still?

Listen, I'd better go.
I've got something else on.

But anyway, I'm seeing you
after lunch.

What's lunch? What are we doing?

Ruth, remember
the performance review?

I told you about it this morning.
Your memory's getting shocking.

Oh, yes, yes.
Yes, performance review.

I'll see you there, yes.

See you after lunch.
I'd better get back to this lot.

Better crack the whip.
Alright, fellas...

DANIEL: Can I use it
this afternoon, though?

STEVE: No.
What? Why not?!

Mum, why not?

Just listen to what Steve says.

Hey, I just told you.

You've been irresponsible
in the main street,

and I've seen the way you drive it.

How was I fucking irresponsible?

Mate, the burn-outs you do
out here in the paddocks.

I need it this afternoon,
so can I use it?

No.

You're a fucking dickhead, then.
Thanks a lot.

DANIEL: Well, our little mish this
morning to the video shop with Chloe

didn't go exactly according to plan.

But the thing is, I reckon hot chicks
are always bitches.

Like, I reckon, like, feral chicks,
they're always really nice.

Have you noticed how nice they are?
Yeah.

That's because they're trying to
make up for not being hot.

They have to try harder
to get dudes' attention.

We came up with this plan
that we're gonna do,

which is that I'm going to
call the video shop,

and I'm going to pretend
that I'm Nathan.

It's ringing. It's ringing.

(Robotic voice)
Hello, this is Nathan.

Sims.

Hi, Chloe.

Um, Chloe, I like you and want to
go out with you.

Yeah.

Yeah, OK.

OK.

I'll come into the shop, then.

Bye.

Fuck, she fell for it!

She fucking fell...
Seriously, she thought I was Nath.

She thought I was him! Fuck, man!

I'm going to wear his clothes.
I'll just go in wearing his clothes.

Fuck, man, just choose some shit.

Seriously, if she thinks I'm Nath,
she's going to put out, man.

Fuck, man! I can't believe it.

BLAKE: It's been pretty quiet,
just teaching and that.

What about Packo, you spoken to him?
Mm. Nah.

He's a fuckwit.
Why would I talk to him?

I heard he's claiming Blakey's
as a Fennel Hell Men break.

Yeah, he's a knob.
He's a fucking knob, that bloke.

He fucking shot your balls off,
mate.

He should have gone down
for that shit.

It's ancient history, mate.
Oi, you two, back to bed.

Back to bed, you guys.

Kids.

Hey, you know Blake's been offered
a Billabong Legends of Surfing tour.

No way! That'd be all time.
You doing it?

No.
Yeah, he said no.

Really?
No, too much on.

Not feeling it, mate?
Not feeling it.

Just, like, got to keep an eye
on stuff here

with the boys and that.

I'm serious about Packo, mate.

If he shot my fucking balls off,

he would have been fucking dead
by now.

Yeah, you're different to me, mate.
You hold grudges, mate.

Like, I get over stuff.
You don't get over stuff.

But look what he done!
Yeah, but that's you, mate.

I'm different.
Yeah, fair enough.

Hey, mate, would it be alright
for me to borrow the van?

Yeah, the van,
what are you going to do?

Just going to cruise around tonight?
Just go see a few people.

Yeah, for sure, mate.
I'll give you the keys.

You got to drop the kids off
tomorrow morning.

I've got that early start.
Kareena, chill. It's his car.

No, it's cool, mate.
Go visit your loved ones.

There you go, mate. Enjoy it.
Have a good night.

No worries, man.
Hey, little fella, how are you?

What's wrong, Superman,
your undies too tight?

Hey, little buddy,
what are you doing?

So good to see you, mate.
I'm stoked that you're out.

Likewise, bro, likewise.

I'll come past tomorrow and drop off
the van.

I just don't get why you're being
all gnarly about him.

I'm not. He's a bloody drug dealer.
He got set up.

Blake, I don't care. I don't want
him round the kids. He gives me
the creeps.

You're an idiot for giving him the
van. What am I supposed to do?

He's got to visit his family.
He's been in jail for three years.

You believe anything he says because
he's got the same tattoo as you.

Why would he lie?
I really don't trust him.

And I don't want people like this
in our lives anymore, OK?

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

GRAN: Alright, guys,
once you've done your hair

then you can line up at the door,
please.

Excellent. Right, guys, if you need
to go to the dunny, go now,

because we won't be allowed
to go later.

How are you going, Talib?

Neaten yourself up.

So Mum's coming today, is she?

Is she bringing Grandma
or anyone else?

Just Mum, is it?

Well, I look forward to meeting her.

Are you excited to see Mum?

Good. I thought you might be.

Oh, hello.

Hello, Ruth Sims. Good to meet you.

Mohammed's doing very well.
He's a lovely boy.

Alright, well, have a great time.

Remember, no touching.

And you're the sister, are you?
No, cousin.

Cousin. You're the sister.
Good to meet you.

I love your outfit.
Thank you.

Very colourful.

I've got him in the second row.
Oh, wow.

Mm, yes.

Now, when you spoke to Mum,
she said she was coming, right?

She's probably stuck in traffic
or something.

Don't worry.

On behalf of the people at Garingal

I'd like to welcome you
to our Family Day.

Hope you enjoy our dance.

? HIP-HOP MUSIC

? Slap my elbow
You do it like this

? Slap my, slap my elbow
You do it like this

? I slap my el, slap my bow

? Slap my el, slap my bow
Slap my el, slap my bow

? Slap my elbow... ?
Now, Mum's not here, mate.

But it doesn't mean
she doesn't love you, OK?

Why don't you pop up and dance
with the other boys?

Don't let them see
that it's getting to you, alright?

Do it for me, mate. Hop up.

? ..slap my bow
Slap my el, slap my bow

? Slap my elbow

? Step one, put your arm in front
Step two... ?

Alright, boys, just act normal, OK?

You got to do this shit, man.
This is going to fucking work.

Do I look like him? Check this out.

It looks like Nath?
Yeah!

Cool. Right.

Wish me luck. I'm going in.

(All talk at once)

Like this.
Be him.

Hi, Chloe, it's Nathan.

Dan, what are you doing here?

It's not Daniel, it's Nathan.
Dan, I know it's you.

No, it's Nathan. You told me
to come in on the phone, so...

Yeah. I was clearly joking.

Well...

Dan, I knew that was you that was
calling and pretending to be Nathan.

Do you want to go out or something?

I see you lurking around here
all the time.

You freak me out.
I don't want to go out with you.

Seriously, piss off.
But you like me.

You...
No, I like Nathan.

I can tell you guys apart.
Well, I am Nathan, so...

Dan, I know it's you.

I'm wearing his clothes.
I'm wearing my own clothes.

You guys live together.

It's Nathan.
Dan, seriously.

It's Nathan!
Seriously, I'm trying to work.

Stop calling me Daniel.
My name's Nathan.

Go away! Go away.
No.

I've had a horrible day,
and you're just making it worse.

I don't want to go away,
'cause I'm not even Daniel.

I'm Nathan.
Dan, piss off!

Go... Oh, my God!
It's a shop anyway.

You're pissing me off. Go away.

I don't have to go,
'cause it's a shop.

You're a fucking weirdo.
Seriously, can you go away?

You're actually freaking me out.
Can you piss off?

Alright.
Seriously. Thank you.

Cool.

Oh, dude!
Let's go, let's go.

Just go. Go.

She's a bitch.
I thought she fucking fell for it.

Dude, did she take the bait, man?

If you'd like to follow me.

This is the mural that the fellas
have been working on.

What I've asked the boys to do
is to depict themselves

holding an item which is
most precious to them.

So as you can see...
Is that your iPod there?

That's Marlon with his iPod.

And Jacob's most precious item
is his dick. Check it out.

(Laughter)
Settle down.

Hey, Gran, show them you.

Yes, this is me here
holding my precious item,

which is my guinea pig, Kerri-Anne.

Look at Penny.
She's got her hand on your arse.

Her precious item
is your arse, Gran.

(Laughter)
Very amusing.

Pussy on pussy.
Excuse me, Jacob!

Not appropriate! Pussy on pussy,
you like it like that?

Be sensible, please!

Shut up, or I'll call the whole
fucking thing off.

All of you.
MAN: Quiet down.

Now, I want you to take
this opportunity

to show your friends and your family
and your loved ones around the mural,

and use it as an opportunity

to explain what life is like
inside Garingal.

DANIEL: Chicks are really cool,
but you don't actually need them.

You get a girlfriend, right?

And you think it's going to be
all good and that,

but it's actually annoying.

Fuck yeah. You feel so tied down
to them and that.

Trapped.
Just shit.

None of us have ever had
a real girlfriend.

Yeah, 'cause you're too busy
having fun.

Yeah.

Oi, what are you doing?

DANIEL: We were thinking that we
might hang out with the feral chicks,

chill with them, just to see what
happens. They seem pretty nice.

What are you doing tonight?

Nothing.

You seen anyone else around?
Nah, no-one.

Not to get a girlfriend
and that, 'cause they're feral as.

Just someone to talk to and shit.
Yeah, just talk to them.

Yeah, like them and shit.

If I said to the ferals, like,

'I want two of youse to give me
a blowie tonight,'

I reckon they'd come over.
They probably would, yeah.

Catch ya.

(Engine revs)

GIRL: Whoo, yeah!

Yeah, I'm pretty much over
hot chicks.

Just don't interest me anymore.

What the fuck? Is that Nathan?

That's him.
What the fuck is he doing?

Oi! Nathan!
Dude, that is Nathan.

What are you doing?
Get in the car.

Mum wants you.

CHLOE: See you, Nathan.
You smug little bastard.

Hi, boys.
Hi. See ya.

BOY: Fuck.

Dickhead. Have you fucked her?

She only fucking likes you
'cause you're deaf.

KAREENA: You've been here all night.
Chill, it's just questioning.

I swear to God...

KAREENA: Yeah, police came to
the door and arrested Blake.

I'm just in so much shock.

They said that apparently
Jeff Packard's been shot

and he's in intensive care.

And Blake's van was seen driving
away from the shooting.

So they think that he was in the van
when he wasn't. He was here with me.

POLICEMAN: Come on. Back up, please.
It's all good, babe. All good.

It's all good.

KAREENA: Bloody Mucca Mad boys
and that prick Ashley.

I just don't know how to stop it,
you know?

I don't know how to stop these boys
from doing this.

GRAN: Now, I thought we were talking
these days.

Are we or are we not? Yes or no?

Yes.

Right. I thought so.

I've got to say
this whole silent thing's

really starting to piss me off.

So when am I going to find out a
little bit more about you, Talib?

We've got 18 months together now.

Alright, here's an idea.

You tell me one of your deepest,
darkest secrets

and I'll tell you one of mine.

Alright?

OK.

Alright, you go first.

My mum doesn't want to come
and see me because she hates me.

Well, that's rubbish.

Mums always love their boys.
It's human nature.

So you're wrong there.
That's... That's rubbish.

And that's not a secret anyway.

That's just you thinking something
that's not true.

What's yours?

Oh, my secret.

Well...

..not many people know my secret.

Only Penny.

It's a very big secret, so you can't
tell anyone, alright?

I have a disease called Alzheimer's.

Do you know what that is?

No.

It's a disease of the brain
where you...

..you get very silly and forgetful,

and you start to forget things.

And you get more and more forgetful
until you forget everything.

Actually can be quite funny at times.

Drives Penny mad.

Can they fix it?
No.

That's OK.

We'll be right.

That sun's full on.
You got sunscreen on?

Need to get you some sunscreen
or you'll get burnt.

Look at you, handsome!

Nice uniform, Sergeant Sims!

(Reads) 'Daniel hurt my feelings.
I'm running away forever.'

Nathan's gone missing.

What are the tracks telling you?
He's heading off in this direction.

You duffer!
Nathan!

You reckon he might be out there?

Fuck, I thought it was his head.

JEN: Today we are
at the Ushi Cola
ad campaign shoot.

Arggh!

You're not actually
doing the stunt.

It's the magic
of television, Tim.

You jump up,
leg over,

and you say your
line to the camera.

What he don't know
don't hurt him.

Ushi Gay!

No way!
What the hell?

Stop embarrassing me
in front of the whole crew.

We don't always get what we want.

BLAKE: I'm out
on bail.

Kareena and the kids
have left.

I don't know it'd be
such a great loss if she...

I mean, it'd be a great loss.

We just want to
look after Blake.

BLAKE: The boys know
how to have fun.

Farts on fire?
I'd be up for it.

Go a bit more
metrosexual, bit
more like Jesse's style.

Mucca, Mucca, Mucca!
BOYS: Oi, oi, oi!

I'm not gay! I've never been gay.

Good shot.

Why are there naked photos of me as
a kid? Were you and Dad paedophiles?

I'm just checking out Nath's MySpace.

I just check it from time to time,

make sure there's
nothing dodgy on there.

If there's anything weird,
I just go tell Mum.

Look at his profile pic.
Like, how is that a good photo?

What a fucking knob.

Fuckos. Fuckos.

Fuckos.

Nath's such a weirdo.

He's always, like, walking around
with his camera, taking gay photos.

Fuck off.

I know what you're doing, dickhead.

Fuck off!

Mum!

He does these gay
little photo albums.

Look at this.
It's his 'Get Fucked' album.

This is where he
puts his middle finger up

to all the shit that he hates.

Anything that he thinks is gay,
he gives it the 'get fucked' finger.

Twilight - get fucked.

Miley Cyrus - get fucked.

Twitter.

Lady Gaga - get fucked.

Justin Bieber - get fucked.

Shoes with wheels - get fucked.

Oh! He got Julia. Sucked in. (Laughs)

That's a good one. I haven't seen
that one before. That's good.

Little fucking shit!

Mum! Nath's done
a 'Get Fucked' shot of me.

Closed Captions by CSI -
Matt Whitmore