Angry Boys (2011): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript

Come on. Fuck!

Fuckin'... Nathan, you fag!

You've used up
all the download space, you dickhead!

Now the computer's slow as fuck!

Daniel, it's not your computer, it's
the family's and he can't hear you.

And he's using it
to download porn anyway!

I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of him and his fuckin' porn.

He's addicted to it.

It's like he does
these little things, right,

he makes these little secret files
where he keeps his porn stash

and he thinks I can't find them.



Like, look at this.
Skate stats - porn. See?

Nathan's schoolwork - porn.

Deaf information - porn.

And he wanks, like, four times a day,
minimum. Seriously.

Like, something's got to be
done about it.

Like, I reckon if you're gonna wank,
do it one or two times a week, max.

You know?
Don't let it rule your life.

Keep it clean, do it in the shower.

Oh! Disgusting!

Fuck! Nathan!

The thing with me and Hunter
is we're competitive.

We're competitive,
but we balance each other out

in that he's good at shit, I'm
good at shit, so we're sort of...

We... we... we do heaps
of good shit together, I reckon.



I am a little bit
not as smart as you.

I'm a little bit dumber than you.

But with your brain and my brain
together, we'd be the ultimate dude.

Remember at the servo when...
I went to the servo and filled up...

This is fuckin' years ago,

and I thought there was
60 cents in a dollar,

so I got pissed off
at that bloke at the servo

'cause I thought
he was trying to rip me off.

And I got the Mucca Mad Boy mates
to beat the fuckin' shit out of him,

'cause I thought he was trying to
rip me off. You were gonna, too.

I had three 20-cent coins. I was
like, 'It's a dollar. Add it up.'

I thought chicks didn't fart, too.

When we were in year 10, I was like,
I thought, biologically,

chicks could not fart
and we had that massive fight.

We had a fucking punch-up about that.
Yeah.

I believe it now 'cause Kareena
farts. Have you heard Kareena fart?

Nah, I did two yesterday.
Oh, knock yourself out, babe.

Being married to someone like,
you know,

surfing legend Blake Oakfield
has definitely got its challenges.

Incredibly vague and unorganised.

It's like you've got to
micromanage him.

What's this mean?
Yeah, what's it mean?

Get groceries.
Yeah, don't forget.

What are you two doing today,
anyway?

Initiations.
What, for the gang? Yeah.

That sounds like
a really productive way

for two 38-year-old men
to spend their day.

Ah, yeah, it is.
Don't work too hard, will you?

Get the Frosty Fruits!
Bye.

The brakes, Jamie, the brakes.

I need your help.
Just rewind it.

Oh!
Rewind.

Hey, the patient has arrived,
everybody.

Oh, Ja Rule!
Hey, here he is.

Ja Rule! Aw, what happened to him?

Hey. Oh, the vet did it.
What happened to you, Ja Rule?

He's got a skin condition from
the fleas. You look like a dickhead.

He kept licking
around his testicles,

so with that on he can't reach.
He's licking around his nuts?

Can't lick your nuts now, Ja.

If I could lick my nuts,
imagine that. I'd be lickin' 'em.

Imagine if Nath could lick round...
He'd be like...

Don't be so bloody disgusting!

He would! Don't you reckon
Nath would be like, 'Oh, yum! Oh!'

Daniel, get out of it!
It's been a fully hectic week.

The plans for Nath's party
are coming along pretty well.

We haven't heard back
from Blake Oakfield and S.mouse,

and 'cause Emily Chase dropped out,

we're gonna have to
invite another one

'cause it's three wishes.

So we could invite
another hot chick if you want.

If you want another model to replace
Emily, I'll invite another hot chick.

Nah, Tim. Tim.
You want Tim, do ya?

Nath's really keen
to invite Tim Okazaki,

who's this, like,
skater that he's real into,

and I'm not that into him
'cause he's a bit of a fag,

but Nathan really loves him
'cause he loves his skating.

Alright, we'll get Gran
to send out some invites

and see if we can get him to come,
OK?

Yep.

You gotta talk to him, though,
'cause he's Japanese,

so he might be a bit weird.
It's cool.

I reckon having Tim there is good
'cause it makes it a little bit...

'Cause you got a white guy,

a black guy and a Chinese guy -
well, he's Japanese.

So I reckon it's a good mix.

(Girls laugh)

(Man speaks in Japanese)

Big air! Big air!

Oh!
(Japanese pop music)

The champion is...

..Tim Okazaki!

MAN: Tim Okazaki, he's a real star.

Without a doubt,
the king of skateboarding today

and huge in Japan.

Tim, he can land the gnarliest tricks
with very little effort.

MAN: Tim Okazaki!

You know, he can make skateboarding
look effortless without trying.

He's just an amazing talent to watch.

You know, the kid's got abilities
that you can only dream of.

Tim Okazaki!

Yeah, he's one in a million.

Right now I'd have to say
he's the most sought-after talent

in the sports world today.

WOMAN: How do you create
a skateboarding superstar?

How do you create a superstar?

Well, in the case of Tim Okazaki,
I am the one to answer that.

I'm his mother and manager,
so if I don't know then no-one does.

(Man speaks in Japanese)

Tim was born in America.

My husband Yuki moved over
to America from Japan

for a new life for the children.

Photo, photo, photo.
MAN: Photo.

Photo.
(Man speaks in Japanese)

Tim was not that into
skateboarding as a young boy.

He wasn't all that keen on it,
but I made him do it.

Darling, you're skateboarding.

I bought Tim a skateboard
and he was very uncoordinated

as a young boy.

There's other boys your age
much better than you.

I found that
through my own demonstration

I was able to teach him balance.

Whee! Whee!

I basically taught Tim how to skate.

Trick.

I would drive Tim to the skate park
and supervise his training.

It take a lot of work for you
to become a champion skateboarder.

Tim started to win competition
for one reason alone -

because of my hard work
and commitment,

and because I never gave up.

I just love skateboarding.

I like nailing tricks.
I like grinding on rails.

I like landing them.
It just feels great.

But if I didn't win a competition,
I'd sort of get, like, depressed

and my mum would sort of lose it.

But it was sort of good in a way

because it made me
want to get better.

I mean, I wanted to be the best.

I told Tim that if he did not
succeed at skateboarding,

then I would kill myself.

Uh, that's lucky for me,
Tim did succeed,

or else he would have
a dead mother on his hands.

I've met him a few times, you know,

and he seemed like a regular
American little kid, you know?

And then for some reason, he started
to sound more and more Japanese.

I wanted to get the media on side,

and to get their attention

I thought it would... if he sound
more like a little Japanese boy

that they would find him more
interesting, more cute, you know?

And I have to say, after
a little bit of training vocally,

Tim really picked it up...

(Japanese accent)
Thank you very much.

..and the media, they fell for it,
hook, line and sinker.

My mum trained me
to speak more Japanese.

It seemed to work, 'cause that's when
I got really big in Japan.

Yeah, before Tim,
I'd say skating wasn't even...

..even that big in Japan, you know?

He sort of exploded
onto the Japanese scene.

They don't even realise that he's
American, but he's huge over there.

(People scream)

I moved my family
from Santa Barbara to Tokyo for Tim.

For Tim alone.

The money was no... no...
not in the equation,

although I have to admit
that having the money now

is... is not such a bad thing.

(Speaks in Japanese)

I wouldn't say I love it
here in Japan.

I miss my friends,
and having to pretend

you're Japanese when you're not
is a little weird.

Harro to all my fans.

(All cheer)

But if I get to skate,
then the rest I can handle.

How do you feel?
Konnichiwa.

(All cheer)
(Man speaks in Japanese)

(Horn beeps)

Well,
initiations are a pretty big deal.

They're not to be taken lightly.

Me and Hunter, as founding members
of the Mucca Mad Boys,

we conduct all initiations.

So, yeah, you get your new blokes
that want to be involved in the gang.

They really have to prove themselves.
It's not an open invitation.

We're gonna take you out and
try you in some random conditions,

see how gnarly you are
in that sort of situation.

This whole process,
it's a way of weeding out the fakers.

It's a way of separating
the boys from the men.

Three options today -
one, the titty cap.

We ask you to wear that.

You're gonna be streaking up and down
every aisle of the supermarket.

You've got the meat. We're gonna
tie that to your ball sack.

You'll go out for a swim -
this is option two.

As you know, we had the shark
sighting a couple of weeks ago,

so that could end badly.

Option three is the cliff.

Hunter's gonna hold you monkey-grip
over the edge for 40 seconds.

I've done it.

You shit yourself for the first ten
seconds, then you ease into it.

That's the third option. I urge you,
don't choose the easy option, OK?

Any questions?

Um, when can we get the tat?

The tat comes
when you've passed initiation, OK?

What? There's been Fennel Hell Men
out at Blakeys all morning.

You're fuckin' kidding me.
Fuck.

Spooner was out there at dawn.
Shit.

Man, there's graff
in the dunnies as well.

What does it say?

Blakey's, it's this break and it's
200m off from the Narmucca Headland.

It's really close to the rock,
hell dangerous.

It's fucked up. You need
the biggest balls to go out there.

It's one of the scariest, gnarliest,
most fucked up breaks ever.

Blake's the only one that's been
brave enough to go out there.

That's why it's called Blakey's.

Mucca Mad Boys sort of own it,

so don't go out there
when you know that it's not yours,

do you know what I'm saying?

That's our turf.

Shit.
They're gonna regret this.

He's done that last night.
That's fresh.

Yep. That's Packo's handwriting,
too. That's him, he's done it.

You've got no balls, not cock.

He's obviously trying
to get my attention.

You know what we've got to do.
Let's go to the headland.

Let's go.
Let's go.

I think you need
to concentrate a little more.

From an early age,
I started to notice

little strange things about Tim,
probably before he even knew himself

that he was gay.

Little things
only a mother pick up on.

And Tim and I
have a little discussion

and it turn out my inkling was right,
he was gay.

It coincided with the time when I was
not too happy with the sponsorship

we had for Tim with DC And Grobe,

and it was a time
when I wanted to change Tim's career,

so I decided that we should
come out to the public,

let everyone know that Tim is
the world's first gay skateboarder.

My friends know that I'm not gay
and I'm not really gay,

but my mum was so keen
on the whole gay angle

and the whole GayStyle thing.

But to the general public
and all my fans, I'm gay.

(Speaks in Japanese)

Tim Okazaki,
the boy who brought skateboarding

into mainstream popular culture
in Japan...

(Speaks in Japanese)

..and he's gay and proud of it.

Yeah, I was really surprised, hey.

Like, um, hanging out with him
a bunch of times,

he didn't really seem all that gay,
do you know?

But apparently he was.

Being gay,
I have to pretend I like guys,

pretend I don't like girls,

and I can't talk to girls
or else my mum will get mad.

Says, 'You can only talk to guys'
and stuff, which is a little weird.

It worked so well.

I came up with my catchphrase,
'I'm gay,'

which I got Tim to say
at any skateboard competition

or to the media.

I'm gay!
(People cheer)

Tim really got into it.

I also came up with,
'Skateboarding gay-style'.

Skateboarding gay-style.

ALL: Skateboarding gay-style!

That was more
of a business decision.

I wanted the kids to get familiar
with the phrase 'gay-style',

because that's when I started
my company GayStyle Enterprises,

and we made skateboard decks
and streetwear clothing.

We also made some merchandise.

This is a GayStyle ice-cube maker
in the cock shape.

This is for the parmesan cheese.

Take it off, shake it on your pasta.

This is the GayStyle
cock-shaped whistle.

(Blows whistle)

The GayStyle drink bottle.

Fill it up
with whatever drink you like.

The GayStyle scrubbing brush.

And it's good for the bath-time,
shower-time,

with the cock on the end.

It's going so well.

(People speak in Japanese)

I'm not totally comfortable with
the whole GayStyle Enterprise thing -

all the dudes on dudes
and the whole hot-pink stuff.

But the way I see it is
I get to keep skating,

and the whole GayStyle thing sort of
keeps everybody happy, so I guess...

GayStyle psycho!

(People speak Japanese)

To be honest,
I like some of that GayStyle shit.

I wear this GayStyle ring.

Um, it's two cocks together.

ALL: GayStyle!

BOTH: It's skateboarding gay-style.

To take something
like Tim being gay...

And you can see that
as a negative thing.

But I turn it around
into a positive thing.

I told Tim I would make him huge,

so in future
always listen to your mother.

Everyone say,
'Skateboarding gay-style.'

ALL: Skateboarding gay-style!

Tim, say what you like.
Skateboarding gay-style!

Yay!

(People cheer)

Oi! Stop it! Something's got
to be done about Nathan's wanking.

Fuck! Get off my chair,
you dirty prick!

Like he's just obsessed with it.
Stop wanking, for fuck's sake!

It's embarrassing for me
and for the whole family.

Like, we're all...
we're all living with it.

I don't know how his dick lasts
the day, you know what I'm saying?

'Cause he has, yeah.

And, like,
he's a full weirdo around chicks.

and, like, trying to look at her tits
and that.

And, like, at home, Nath always
lies next to the dog on the couch

'cause it feels good
against his dick.

Yeah, he's a full sicko.

Like, I even caught him looking at
our own mum in the shower.

Like, seriously,
he is fucked in the head.

Nathan! What are you doing? Fuck!

Something's got to be done
about his wanking, too,

'cause, like,
we share the same bedroom, right,

and 'cause he's deaf
he can't hear himself.

So he's going for it, wakes me up -
it's... it's disgusting to hear

and then you fuckin' see it,

and so I've got some shoes
that I lined up above my bed

so if I catch him I can peg a shoe
at his dick, right?

But seriously,
not even that stops him.

He can't... he cannot help himself.

We've got to come up
with some sort of solution,

'cause something's got to be done.

It can't go on like this.

When shit like this happens -

and it's always
those fuckers causing it -

then we come straight to the wall.

The wall actually marks the border

between Narmucca Bay
and Fennel Heads.

Alright, get on the wall, boys.

Yeah, it's the exact point there -
one side we're in our territory,

the other side,
we're in their territory.

Look what he's wearing.
He must be going to work.

What a loser.

Packo definitely would've known
about Spooner

being out at Blakey's this morning.

He's the founder of the Fennel Hell
Men, so knows any shit that goes on.

I don't know if he's responsible
for the graff.

Regardless of that,
he would be aware of it,

and he would know
that I will want to retaliate.

Alright, boys,
let's show 'em we mean business.

Whenever us boys are
really pissed off about something,

we come up to the wall and, you
know, if we want to let 'em know

that we're gonna take it
to the streets,

we piss off the edge of the wall
onto their territory.

That's our way of saying
we are ready to go to war.

Drink this, Packo!

They don't always notice you
when you're up here,

so you need to get their attention.

We use mirrors,
reflection in the eyes.

That's an old-school trick
we did in the '80s.

And these days I usually
just send a text message.

There we go.

He's looking up.
Yep, yep.

Guys, get up. If you've got
any more piss left, then piss.

He's looking up.

(Phone beeps)

Alright, he's sent me a message,
guys.

Empty Sack, see you at BI-LO
at three.

We're going into battle, boys.
It's all on, guys.

This is how we roll. Hope you told
your mums you're gonna be late home.

BI-LO at three. Let's go, fellas.

OK.
Go.

The skateboarding industry has
certainly afforded me some luxuries.

This is my penthouse in the heart
of Tokyo City, three levels.

As you can see,
it's a very nice place to unwind

after a hard day of skateboarding.

Some of my furs here.

It's a long way from
the poor, struggling days in America.

This is the headquarters
for GayStyle Enterprises.

..for my husband Yuki,
my second son Luke, of course Tim...

Take Cindy. She annoying me.

..and then there's my youngest,
Cindy.

I never wanted a third child,

so when Cindy was born,
I was a little disappointed,

but what can you do?

And this is Tim's room.

Say hi, Tim.
Tim, hi.

This is the bedroom
of a typical gay boy.

As you can see,
all the gay things he has on here.

Tim, where... where you keep
your gay porno magazine?

You keep it under here, Tim?
Yeah, come on.

Where you keep it?
I don't have any.

Don't be shy.
Don't be shy for him, Tim.

Don't be shy for the camera.
We know you like cock.

Yeah.
It's OK.

Uh, this is Bruce Woo,
my business manager.

Bruce look after the GayStyle
merchandise, the product line.

Well,
I love working for the company.

You know, Tim is adorable
and Jen is divine.

I think you're trying to
suck up to me.

No, I mean it.
You're sucking up 'cause he's here.

No, you're the best boss
I've ever, ever had.

You're not getting a cut
of the profits like you asked for.

No, but I...
I'm not joking.

But Jen, you're the best boss
I ever had.

You don't say stuff like this
normally.

You're saying it 'cause he's here.

Yes, you are.
Go to another room.

I don't want
another headache tonight, please.

I'll show you how we deal
with these situations.

Packo.
Empty Sack. Good to see ya.

You too, mate.
What can we do for you, hey?

Why was Spooner
at Blakey's this mornings?

He wasn't.
You know it's Mucca turf.

Hey, why would he bother?
The surf's shit over there.

We saw your handiwork
on the dunnies, too. Nice graff.

What graff?

Mate, it was probably one of your
fuckin' knobs from over there, mate.

I haven't done
any graffiti since '95.

I mean... You fuckin' wrote it.
It's your handwriting.

I don't know why we're getting
the blame for your graffiti issues.

Do you want us... do you want us
to come beat the shit out of you?

'Cause we will.
We'll beat the shit out of you.

I don't want to have to do it,
but I'm happy to do it.

(Horn beeps)
Get in the car.

Get in the car, Blake.

What the fuck are you doing?

For God's sake, get in...

Jeff, go home to your wife
and leave my husband alone.

Idiot.
Hey, he called it.

He issued the challenge.
We just turned up.

Whatever.
Do I look like I give a shit?

Yeah, go home to your wife,
you pussy-whipped motherfucker.

Shut up.
We're not fighting, though.

Jeff Packo's wife
is a friend of mine.

So did you get the groceries?

No.
Nup! Nup! Knew you wouldn't!

I am so annoyed with you right now.

Well, things get out
of hand sometimes. I don't care.

What have you got for me, Bruce?

My company, GayStyle Enterprise,
is an ever-growing business.

GayStyle Nintendo DS.

I want it to grow and grow

It's so cute. It's so Tim.
It's so gay.

Yes.
I love it.

The Tim Okazaki Gay Experience Ride
at Tokyo Disneyland.

Oh, good.
Yes.

I love it, a ride at Disneyland.
Yes.

Oh, yes. Good, Tim.

There's a good and bad side
to it all.

The bad side
is I have to live in Japan

and I'm away from all my friends,

but the good side
is I get to skate a lot,

and that's really what I want to do,
to be the best.

And Mum says
that this whole thing's a game,

and if you want to win,
you have to play the game.

ALL: I'm gay! I'm gay! I'm gay!
I'm gay! I'm gay!

Yeah, without a doubt

he's changed the sporting culture
in Japan, you know?

I'm gay!
(All cheer)

His style, the gay style
is just rocking really hard,

and he's a loud and proud homo,
you know?

So good on you, Tim.

MAN: Ow! Ow!

Tim, of course,
is my number one priority.

He... Genetically,
I have given him a wonderful thing,

but I need to nurture that talent.

Tim, I am his manager, yes.
But number one, I am his mother.

I'm gay!
(Cheers)

(Yells in Japanese)

Right, so how does that feel?
It's good.

It's alright? You're not
too loose around there? Not too bad?

Well, I come up with a solution.

Um, I made Nath
some wank-prevention guards.

Basically, you know,
it stops him from reaching his cock,

Yeah, you gotta think
outside the square

when you wanna come up with
a solution to your problems.

Oi, Steve, check this out.

Same principle as Ja Rule -
means he can't...

Nath hasn't tried yet,

but I don't think he fully knows
what they're for.

MOTHER: What are you boys up to?

Yeah, he's gonna get a shock
when he does.

He won't be able
to get any traction on his dick.

Gives his cock a break, at least.

I built myself a motherfucking

home recording studio.

Hear me? Fuck yeah, fuck you, fuck.

Play some beats, motherfucker.

? Obama, Obama, what you gonna do? ?

From what I hear coming from

that living room, it is bullshit.

? What do you call this, then? ?

I call that shit.

Celebrity endorsement for Ooshi Cola!

GayStyle is on the incline.

First-ever flavoured shoe.

Look at the balls on that guy.

Very strict training schedule.

And fart. Fart!

Fuck off!
Nathan's being a little shit.

It'll be really good for him to see

another family using sign language.

Nathan could take you for a ride

around on the back of his motorbike.

BFFs with the Danester.

Fuck off. Daniel,
Nathan wants to see you at the tank.

Nathan, you fag!

Have sex with your
fucking three-legged dog, bitch!

You're gay.
You don't go getting confused, OK?

Mum! Nath's just pissed on me!