American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 2 - The Morning After - full transcript

Michael Langdon prepares a meeting with the guests of Outpost 3. Meanwhile, Ms. Venable and Ms. Mead have a sinister plan in store.

Snakes! Snakes!

What the hell is going on?

I thought everything
outside was dead.

God knows how deep they
went after the blast.

Maybe they came
through the sewage

or the ventilation system.


Looks like we got
some fresh protein.

- Won't they be contaminated?
- No.

We'll scan 'em.

I don't see any mutations.

Boy, this looks like
good eating, huh?

I have a rule against
eating things with

no legs or too many legs.

Oh, right, but you're fine
eating something with two legs.

For the last time, we
didn't eat your boyfriend.

Eat it or don't. No one's
gonna force it down you.

Adversity makes
strange bedfellows

and worse dinner companions.

It's food, and we're starving.

We should be grateful for
the fruits of the earth.

Well, steamed snake soup is
actually quite delicious.

It was the centerpiece of
a dinner that I attended

at the Royal Court
in Kuala Lumpur

with Gina Lolabrigida.

So, who's in your office?

I beg your pardon?

Alarms went off before.
Someone came inside.

Who else is here?

All questions will be
answered in due course.


Those snakes were
chopped up and cooked.

How did they come back to life?

I don't know. There
were a lot of snakes.

Maybe they just missed a couple.

You don't really believe that.

Honestly, I'm trying not
to think about it at all.

I'm more interested in whoever
Venable is hiding in her office.

Just headed to the library.

My name is Langdon, and I
represent The Cooperative.

I won't sugarcoat the situation.

Humanity is on the
brink of failure.

My arrival here was

crucial to the survival of
civilized life on Earth.

The three other compounds...
In Syracuse, New York,

Beckley, West Virginia,
and San Angelo, Texas

have been overrun and destroyed.

We've had no contact from the
six international outposts,

but we are assuming that they,
too, have been eliminated.

What happened to
the people inside?


The same fate that will
befall almost all of you.

Almost all?

In the knowledge that this
very moment might occur,

we built a failsafe...
The Sanctuary.

The Sanctuary?

The Sanctuary is unique.

It has certain security measures
that will prevent overrun.

Excuse me, sir.

What measures? Why
weren't we given them?

That's classified.

All that matters is that The
Sanctuary will... survive,

so the people populating
it will survive,

so humanity will survive.

Who are the people who
are populating it?

Also classified.

However, I have been
sent to determine

if any of you are worthy
and fit to join us.

The Cooperative has
developed a particular

and rigorous
questioning technique

we like to call...

I will then use the information

gained to determine
if you belong.

What is this, The Hunger Games?

This is bullshit.

I paid my way in here,

and that is the only
cooperating I plan on doing.

You don't have to sit
for questioning.

What happens if
we choose not to?

Then you stay here and die.

I volunteer to go first.

And so you shall.

The process should only
take me a couple of days,

so you won't be kept
in suspense forever.

For those of you who
don't make the cut,

all is not lost.

If the worst should happen and
feral cannibals come knocking,

down one of these.

One minute later, you fall
asleep and never wake up.

I look forward to meeting
each and every one of you.


smooth move, asking to go first.

There's an old actor's adage.

Either go first or go last.

You're not going anywhere.

Are you suggesting

that he is going to pass me up?

You're ancient.

He's looking for people
to repopulate the Earth,

- not fill a bingo hall.
- You know,

for someone with the mental
capacity of a three-year-old,

I suppose 52 might seem ancient.

You were 52

when Elvis took his last shit.

- That's enough!
- Oh, no.

Let her spout. I remember
a wonderful lunch

that I had at Dan Tana's
with Natalie Wood.

Natalie turned to
me and she said,

"Evie, you are a survivor.

You're gonna outlive us all."

And dear Natalie... She
turned out to be right.


So how's this work?

I'm not gonna tell you what
criteria I'm using to grade you.

Things you may feel are
helpful may be hurtful.

Things you may feel
will compel rejection

may be exactly what
I'm looking for.

So I can't game the system?

If you hedge, I will know.

If you lie, I will know.

And if you try to trick
me, I will know,

and this interview will be over,
and you will die here painfully.

Are we clear?

What is your sexual orientation?

I'm gay,

but I fucked a girl
before in high school,

and I finished and everything.

She did, too.

I think.

It's harder to tell with girls.

Um... but I'm just saying
that I can do that,

you know, for, for
procreation if I have to.

We have techniques for
harvesting genetic material.

We still need a woman's womb to
incubate the fetus, for now,

but your ability to impregnate
some poor girl isn't needed.

Tell me about your anger.

Tell me about your grandmother.

Why would you put those
two things together?

Okay. I hate her fucking guts.



Because she wants me
to be the perfect gay:

married, with a pair of Yorkies

and a collection of
Wedgwood dishes.

- A eunuch.
- A eunuch.

That's not me at all.
I'm not that old,

but I'm old enough to
remember when sucking dick

was both a way to get off and
an act of political rebellion.

She's shamed you.

In the past.

What do you know?


I have a file that tells
me all your secrets,

or maybe I'm sensing something,

or maybe I'm just fishing.

Tell me who you really are.

Are you looking for some
kind of confession?

I'm not a priest.

I don't even know if
I believe in God.

I mean, if there was a God, why
would he allow the Armageddon?

The concept of sin does
seem a bit antiquated.

Rules for keeping
the chaos at bay.

No need for rules
anymore; chaos has won.

Uh, uh, Nana,

she used to throw these
bullshit suburban gay lunches.

God, it was like the homo
version of The Bachelor.

Walter, who was a lawyer who
represented Scarlett Johansson

and had an affinity
for pleated khakis.

Morris, who owned,
like, 14 dogs.

And Mario Vestri,

who was a manager
at Pottery Barn.

Anyway, they were all dipshits.

They hated her, but
they pretended

to like her crappy food and
listen to her dumb stories,

because they thought
that if they hooked me,

they would get her
money when she died.

She never told them that
she donated everything

to some cat charity in her will.

Darling, that is not
proper dining attire.

It is where I like to eat, Nana.

♪ Relax, don't do it

Is that bisque?

I freakin' love bisque.

♪ When you want to come

Oh, yeah.

Ah, bisque, baby.

♪ When you want to go to it

♪ Relax, don't do it...

You're pathetic.

And that was the last time
she ever tried to tame me.

So you like leather?

I like a lot of things.

Can I ask you something?

Are you gay? 'Cause I'm getting
a real major hit off of you.

Does the idea of
that excite you?


What are you gonna do about it?

Let's continue this
conversation another time.

What? That's it?

How did I do? Did I get in?

This one kiss a
week is bullshit.

I know.

I want to get out of here.

- What are you talking about?
- I'm not gonna wait around

to find out if
Langdon chooses us.

And I don't exactly
trust him, anyway.

I say we steal two
rad-suits and some food

and take our chances
on the road.

Find The Sanctuary ourselves.

That is crazy.

We don't...

Have you forgotten what
it's like out there?

Langdon made it here okay,
and he was all alone.

He doesn't exactly
look like Mad Max.

We don't even know where
The Sanctuary is.

Maybe... there's something
in his room that'll tell us.


There's something
wrong about Langdon.

We're smarter than him,

so let's fucking prove it.

Tell me who you really are.


Come in.

Oh... you pack that
thing in your luggage?

Is this phase two of
the interview, or...

are you just here
on your own time?

I am yours...

body and fucking soul.

Oh, God.


I'm so sorry, I-I never thought
I would have to do this,

but I am truly at a loss.

You got something to say?

Well, I know that blood

is thicker than water, but...

oh, the things I have just seen.

I'm terribly conflicted.

Because this could
totally destroy

his chances of going
to the Utopia.

Of course, I can...

console myself with the
fact that his absence

will leave an empty place for
somebody more deserving.

What did your grandson do?

Is that on?

No, wait. What are you...?


This was sent a week ago.

How is that possible?
There's no infrastructure.

I don't know how he
did, but he did it.

He must have a satellite
hookup or something.

It's to The Cooperative
about Venable.

"She has deviated from
operating protocols

"and has instituted her own rules
forbidding sexual contact.

Violation punishable by death."

You have a gift

for making the ugly
look presentable.

Order on the outside

does wonders to keep the
chaos safely on the inside.

I'm onto you.

You've created your
own rules in here.

I understand why.

I'm sure it was impossible
to resist the temptation

of making this place
over in your image,

especially when you thought
that no one who knew any better

would ever be around to notice.

I'm not sure what
you're talking about.

Complete abstinence?

Punishable by summary execution?

I received my orders in
an encrypted communiqué

from The Co-op before all
communication lines went down.

Do you have it?

No, I do not.

The orders were to destroy
it after I read it.


I was instrumental in drafting
all of the directives

in regards to the running
of the outposts.

And nothing would
be more humiliating

to a man such as yourself
than to learn that a woman

had more information
than he did.

A man such as myself?

You... and the others.

Masters of the universe,

titans of industry...

swinging your dicks around
so much that you managed

to blow the whole world to hell.

You're a fighter.

I like that about you.

I'm just doing my best

with the mess men
made of things.

Maybe that's what was
needed around here, hmm?

Some improvisation.

I'm gonna give you some
important information instead.

You're the leader in here.

You need to understand
what's at stake,

what's really going
on out there.

On the way here, I
came across a woman.

A young mother
with two children.

They were some of
the unlucky ones

who were far enough
from the blast radius

to survive the fireball but...

not the radiation.

They were covered

in tumors.


Their lungs were burnt
from the toxic air.

After a few moments, I realized

that the child she was
carrying in her arms

was already dead.

She was begging for us

to murder her other
child out of pity.


She didn't have the
strength to do it herself,

so she prayed for someone to
come along and do it for her.

Did you?



who deserves a
shot at salvation?

Let's start with...

Coco Saint Pierre Vanderbilt.

The Vanderbilt girl is a vacuous
abomination of inbreeding.

She'd be my last choice to
propagate the human race.

The hairdresser is a
cowardly homosexual.

His grandmother is a
festering pustule

who just will not die.

And the talk show host...

well, actually, I don't know
that much about that one.

At this rate, it
sounds like you and I

will have The Sanctuary
all to ourselves.


There's no need for us to be
adversaries, Ms. Venable.

Take off your dress.

I will not.

Part of your cooperation
includes a physical examination.

You can read my file.

Your file won't show
me what I need to see.

Your shame.

I want to see that part of you
that humiliates you the most.

You won't get a second chance.

Does it hurt?


But does it bring
you great pain?


Is this part of my test?

Isn't everything?

So, then...

do I pass?


- Yes?
- I'm sorry to interrupt.

I need Ms. Venable.

Good evening, Mr. Langdon.


Who was he with?

The old bat didn't get a
look at the guy's face

because he was dressed in black latex.
Head to toe.

I pressed Gallant for a
name, but he won't talk.

It's obvious who
this seducer was.

Look around, Ms. Mead.

What's different?

Who's new?


I think they know each other.

Why else would he volunteer
to be his first interview?

They're plotting something.


How long have you known him?

In my soul, I've
known him always.

Rip Taylor!

What are you two planning?

Larry Kramer!

Go on.

With every crack of the
whip, I'll pay tribute

to the great gay radicals
of the '70s and '80s.

Their names give me strength!

Oh, Greg Louganis!



He's enjoying it.

Most fun I've had since
the Folsom Street Fair.

In seconds, we can destroy

everything humanity has built

over thousands of years,

but we will never be
free of the desire

to be cruel to our fellow man.

It wasn't so bad.

Could have brought out
the cat-o'-nine-tails,

and I still wouldn't
have ratted you out.

Ratted me out?

For what?

You know.

For coming to my room
the way you did.

In fact, all I could think
about was our time together

while they were
having a go at me.

I've never been to your room.


And that wasn't you
in the rubber suit

giving it to me.

Let me be as clear
as I know how to be.

I wouldn't fuck you if you
were the last man on Earth,

and you almost are.

It's not because you're not
physically attractive.

It's your neediness.

Your desperation

to be seen and loved.

The hole you need filled isn't
in your face or your ass.

It's in your heart.

You're pathetic.

I can see why your grandmother
is disgusted by you.

You don't know anything
about my nana.

Why else would she report you?

Make them do this to you.

I'm sure she hoped they would
put you out of your misery...

and hers.

That's bullshit.

She's the reason you're
staring at a death sentence.

She would do anything to
increase her slim odds

of getting out of here.

You know she hates your guts.

You're a liar.

Am I?

Perhaps you should go and talk
to her about it yourself, then.

♪ If I could save time

♪ In a bottle

♪ The first thing

♪ That I'd like to do

♪ Is to save every day

♪ Till eternity passes away

This song makes
me so melancholy.

They used it in a very
special Hardy Boys episode

where one of the Hardy
Boys' girlfriends dies.

Can't remember which one.

I had the biggest crush
on Shaun Cassidy.

Innocent times.

Boring times.

The Hardy Boys was a
very popular program.

Yeah, of course it was. You
only had three networks.

You know what, this
is exactly why

this is so much harder
on us youth than it is

for you geriatrics.

You're used to only having

two or three lame
things in your life,

like TV networks, uh,
ways to drink coffee,

sexual orientations.

-Mallory, help me with this, please.
-Dog breeds.

We had at least ten different
Pomeranians to choose from.

And you guys were cool
with drinking tap water.

We had so many options
for everything.

Dental floss, air fresheners.

We didn't just order a burger...

We needed to know if we
wanted turkey or veggie

or that meatless kind that
bleeds like the real thing.

We had at least four Chrises
that could star in a movie.

How many did you have?

♪ I've looked around
enough to know ♪

♪ That you're the one I want
to go through time with ♪

Surprised to see me
breathing, Nana?

They usually shoot
people for fucking.

Or... did you not remember
that when you turned me in?

No hard feelings, darling.

I want to live, and the
only way to achieve that

is to get rid of these ten
little Indians who stand

between me and that golden
ticket out of here.

Um, we're sitting right here.

It's not my fault that you can't
control your carnal urges.

You have lived!

I... haven't.

Oh, yes, you have.

You have crammed ten
lifetimes of failures

and screwups into your 30 years!

Am I the only one who
makes mistakes? Hmm?

No. But I'm always the one that
has to clean up after you.

Let me see.

Three stints in
rehab on my dime.

Fancy lawyers to keep
you out of prison.

When your grandfather
rejected you

because of your perverted
lifestyle, I took you in.

And what did I get back?

Yes, you went and you
bankrupted two salons

and then you snorted the
third one up your nose.

I deserve to live.

I am the bridge between
the past and the future.

I mean, when those
poor survivors arrive,

what do they know about
culture and music and art?

And I will be there to
tell them all about it.

One lifetime of me is
worth 50 of yours.

Humanity may be
in a sorry state,

but it deserves better than you.

I should have put you in that
motion picture home years ago.

The only thing I
ever wanted from you

was for you to love
me and accept me.

Why couldn't you
just give me that?

Sorry, darling.

It's just not in my nature.

♪ Except for the memory of how

♪ They were answered by you

Well, it's a good thing you
convinced me to bring your nana.

They've been making up
rules this entire time

and lying to us about it.

What else have they
been lying about?

Are we what they say we are,
here because of our perfect DNA?

It doesn't matter.

What are we doing?

What we should have been
doing this whole time.

♪ If I could save
time in a bottle ♪

♪ The first thing
that I'd like to do ♪

♪ Is to save every day

♪ Till eternity

♪ Passes away.

♪ Rock on, gold dust woman

♪ Take your silver spoon

♪ Dig your grave

♪ Heartless challenge

♪ Pick your path and I'll pray

♪ Wake up in the mornin'

♪ See your sunrise

♪ Loves to go down

♪ Well, did she make you cry

♪ Make you break down

♪ Shatter your
illusions of love ♪

♪ And is it over now?

♪ Do you know how?

♪ Pick up the pieces
and go home ♪

♪ Rock on, ancient queen

♪ Follow those

♪ Who pale in your

♪ Shadow

♪ Rulers make bad lovers

♪ You'd better put
your kingdom ♪

♪ Up for sale

♪ Up for sale


♪ Well, did she make you cry

♪ Make you break down

♪ Shatter your
illusions of love ♪

♪ Well, is it over now?

♪ Do you know how?

♪ Pick up the pieces
and go home ♪

♪ Well, did she make you cry

♪ Make you break down

♪ Shatter your illusions

♪ Of love, and now tell me

♪ Is it over now?

♪ Do you know how to
pick up the pieces... ♪

Wouldn't fuck me if I was
the last man on Earth?

♪ Go home

♪ Go home...

♪ Pale

♪ Shadow.

This is extremely disappointing.

You know what has to happen now.

Nothing has to happen,

because we haven't
done anything wrong.

I explained the rules
when you arrived.

Those are your rules.

The Cooperative doesn't
care if we have sex.

Who told you that?


He has a goddamn
laptop in his room.

You have been making all
these bullshit rules up.

You're sick.

The world is strewn

with the unburied corpses
of seven billion people,

and all you can think
about is fornication?

And I'm the sick one?

Get them out of here.
Their punishment

- can't come soon enough.
- No, please!


Venable's crazy!

We warned you. You brought
this on yourselves.

Emily, Emily, I'm sorry.

Get it done.

Captioned by Media
Access Group at WGBH