American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - Fearful Pranks Ensue - full transcript

Fiona's choices rattle a decades-long truce between the Salem witches and Marie Laveau. The Council of Witchcraft pays a surprise visit to the Academy with disturbing allegations.

Oh, don't you worry
about a thing, mon chérie.

I got you covered.


Cora, what's gotten into you today?
I'm sorry.

I-It's just Henry's
first day of high school.

De La Salle.
The white school?

It's integrated.
Earl and I

decided to take a chance.

Give our son the
best opportunity.


You're taking
a big chance, I fear.

Oh, times are changing, Marie.

President Kennedy's
in the White House.



And the White Citizens'
Council of New Orleans

warned the city about the
Congolese raping their daughters.


And the Burr Heads being forced

into their schools.

I have faith in the future.

Oh, God!


Get away from Henry!

Get away from my boy!

Oh, my beautiful baby boy!

Look what they done to you.

We done our duty tonight, boys.

Nobody else was gonna help us.

Governor did all he could.

Them niggers,
they just keep coming.



Oh. Ooh.

Now I give it to you.

Don't be afraid. Use it.

Kill me for the sake
of your coven.



Come on.

Don't be afraid, do it.
Come on, now, do it!

I can't!

Yes, you can, you stupid girl!


Do it and feel
my power flow into you!

I know because I was standing

where you're standing!

Stop yelling at me!

Do it! Do it!

Do it! Do it!

She would've made
a lousy Supreme.

And that is something

this coven just can't afford

at this moment in history.

It's my duty to stay vital.


Oh, Spalding...

I must confess...

...I've always enjoyed
our little talks together.


since you lost your tongue.

It makes you seem...

wiser, somehow.

More thoughtful.

Deal with that.


I couldn't stop it.

Jesus, what happened?

It hurt me really badly.

What? What hurt you?

Oh, God...

Get up.

Cordelia, get up.
I need your help.

My God, what happened?

This girl was attacked

near to death while you slept.

By who?

Not who. By what.

Some minion of hell or other.

Summoned by who?

Not one of our girls?

Oh, Christ, our girls couldn't

pull a rabbit out of a hat.

This was dark art voodoo,

flat out.

Marie Laveau.

No doubt.

This is your fault.

You went to see her.

You deliberately provoked her.

How would you know that?

Because she told me.


And what were you doing

over that side of town?

It was a personal matter.

Christ, Delia!

Is that where you were

sneaking off to this afternoon?

To the voodoos for some
half-assed fertility spell?

Her Pochaut Medecine?


How much did she take you for?

Nothing, thanks to you.

I left there with nothing.

Yeah, not even your dignity.

Christ. You as much
as announced

that her magic was stronger
than yours. Or mine!

Don't you try to put this on me.
You went there first.

I went there to show strength.

And you undermined me

by showing belly.


She's not breathing.


I got a heartbeat.

But maybe

we should get her
to a hospital.

No, that is out of the question.

From now on, we handle
everything internally.

The last thing you want

is to have the Council

show up on your doorstep

and question your competence.

Get out of there.

She saved me...

that black girl.

That monster, it was Bastien.

And the voodoo queen sent him
here for me.

What do you
think, I don't know that?

Just keep that information
to yourself, you understand?

And get out of here.

What if he comes back?

He won't.


All right, Miss Cora.

Are you ready to be dazzled?

You know I am!


- Cora, you look beautiful.
- She better.

Miss Cora got a invite
to the Mayor's mansion tonight

for the annual Halloween Ball.

Marie dragged my nappy head
in here.

Hey, if your hair's nappy,
white people ain't happy.

True that.

Now I want to pay you
this time.

Uh-uh, you keep your
money in your purse.


You too good to me.

Hey, what's that?

We're not expecting hair
from India till next month.

It's not from India.

Some freak dropped it off,
didn't say a word.

All right.
Well, open it up.

Oh, my God!



Kyle, no!


No, Kyle.

I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

I didn't mean for it to happen,
any of it.

Are you hungry?

God-God, you must be so hungry.

I'm going to... I'm going
to go make you something.

Oh, shit.


Come do me.

Do you know why

today is my favorite
day of the year?

It's Halloween.

Is it the end of harvest

Land sakes.

I suppose you'll want me
lighting the bonfires

and putting out food
to keep the demons at bay.

Evil spirits will walk
the earth this night.

The dead shall rise
and fearful pranks ensue

should we fail
to protect ourselves.

Oh, Christ, just zip it.

Miss Fiona,

you look...


I was gonna say beautiful.


Well, both are correct.

And as far as
silly superstitions,

you're behind the times.

Bonfires have become

and harvest offerings,

just candy.

Do they work?

You'll see.

Tonight I'm gonna let
the whole world in.

Get a good look at me.

Who's the baddest witch
in town?

This doesn't concern you.
It does so concern me.

If you start a war
with those white bitches...

Me start it?

You saw what she did to Bastien.

We had ten years
of trouble, Marie.

You weren't even born yet.

Yes, but I grew up
on those stories.

Stories about heartbreak

and blood running
through the streets!

Yeah, their blood.

I used it to paint
my dayroom brick red.

You were the hero of that story.

You sat across from them
and you made peace.

They had their territory,
we had ours.

Neither side crossed
into the other.

No more bloodshed
at one another's hands.

The rest of the world
was cruel enough.

Chantal, I know you mean well,

but the truce is over.

If we don't fight back,
we may as well lay down

in our beds and wait for death,
because that's what's at stake.

And I don't have time

to argue with you.

Either you're with me
or against me.

And if it's the latter,

you best stay out of my way.

How's Baton Rouge?

I hate it when you take
foreman jobs out of town.

You know we need the money.

What time's your meeting
with Phil Underwood?

Oh, actually,
he's here right now.

Call you later.


Happy Halloween.


I always dress up
for Halloween.

It's my favorite holiday.

When I was a little girl,

I used to love the candy.

I think Halloween gives people
the permission

to be who they
really want to be.

Do you dress up?

Who were you last year?


I was a monster.

Come on, Queenie.

Come on.


it's okay.

Hey, hey now.

Am I dead?

No, honey, you're not dead.

Let me get you a fresh towel.

I don't know how to thank you
for saving my life.

I guess you'll just have
to work on that then, huh?

They're here.

The girls are back?

Not the girls.


I had no idea the Council
would be joining us today.

How screwed am I?

Mm, just breathe.

Council on Witchcraft assembles

only under the gravest

And who doesn't love a surprise?

I can guess why you're here.

Last night's assault on Queenie
was a horrific tragedy,

but I can assure you
she is resting comfortably.


Elaborate, elucidate.

I didn't see it myself, but...

By who?
Well, what, actually.

Something not altogether human.

You should have alerted us
at once.

Yes, I was going to.

I just...


That's not why we're here.

Something potentially far more
grave has come to our attention.

Oh, God.

I should never have gone
over there.

I'm sorry. I don't know
what I was thinking.


You might as well know.

I went to Marie Laveau.

But it was never my intention
to violate the truce.

I see, well, perhaps
we should all sit down.

Actually, don't get
too comfortable.

And you? Stop talking.

Fiona, it's been a long time.

Oh, Myrtle Snow.

Look at you.

Developing a sense of style

when no one
was paying attention.

Quentin, you vicious
old queen, hmm.

What's it take for a girl

to get her phone call returned?

Oh, my life is pure torment.

One book signing after another.

Travel, travel, travel.

It's like get me off
of the best seller list already.

Just remember
whose magic it was

that put you there.

you're a caution.



you old hens...

what have you come
to cluck about?

We were summoned
by one of your students.

Which one?


I can't hear her anymore.


I think she's dead.

That's why we're here.

Let the record show

the official inquiry
into the disappearance

of our sister witch
Madison Montgomery

has commenced.


And the penalty

for inflicting
grievous bodily harm

against a Salem descendent
can be but one--

death by fire.

Miss Foxx?

When was the last time you saw
or spoke with Madison?


Madison is a spirited girl.

The fact that she stayed out
all night is hardly a shocker.

So it's not unusual
for you to lose track

of your charges

for extended periods of time?

No, that's not...

Do you read TMZ?

Madison's already spent
more time with us

than any rehab facility
she's been sentenced to.

She's a special case.

Did she give the impression

of being a particularly

powerful witch?

I mean, she's a movie star.

So she's got
that thing, you know?

No, we don't.

What thing?

That thing you lack, darling.


Madison Montgomery

is a stone-cold bitch
who loves hard drinking,

big dicks and trouble.

If she's dead, it's probably
'cause she got wasted

and offered the Grim Reaper
a hand job or something.

Before her disappearance,

was Madison manifesting
any powers,

new ones, rapidly accumulating?

New powers? No.

Mostly we were concentrating
on helping her

control her telekinesis,
not developing new skills.

Where's my rug?

Yeah, she had powers all right.

Lots of them.

She set the neighbor's
curtains on fire.

How did she do that?

By looking at them.

It was awesome.

Who else knew about this?

You brought soup?

There's a vending machine
in the lobby.

It sells all kinds of stuff.



Can you imagine?
I mean...

in my town...

all you could get
from a vending machine

was pop and Reese's.

I was in a place
in San Diego once

where they had sushi
in the vending machines.

The raw fish stuff?

That sounds disgusting
even when it's fresh.

I always wanted
to go to San Diego.

See the zoo.

You're quite the world traveler.

Work takes me
to some pretty cool places.

And some crappy ones, too.

Mr. Big Shot USDA Agent.

They call us inspectors, not agents.

I'm not a spy.

You got an online girlfriend
in every port, 007?

You getting possessive already?


No, I know you.

I know you're not like that.

To think I found you
in an online community dedicated

to collecting Thomas
Kinkade paintings.

Hey, to be fair, I found you.


You played it smart though.

It was like you knew you had me

before I even responded.

Other guys online
come on so strong,

so fast. It's like... ten
minutes in and they want

to see a picture of my boobs
or something.

You were...

cool as a cucumber.

James Bond, right?


Well, shit.


I really like you.

Is that a problem?

It is if you're gonna
break my heart.


You must think
you're very clever.

I do. I do think
I'm very clever.

I am, after all, the Supreme.

Sadly, you are.

Though given the state
of this coven and this school,

one could be forgiven
for thinking

we've been without a Supreme
for the past 40 years.

If you don't like
the way I run things,

take it up with the Council.

But that's just it:
you don't run things,

you run off.

You were absent from last year's
Summit Gathering,

three Winter Petitions
remain unsigned

and you've failed to appoint a
new Chancellor in over a decade.

Has it been that long?

The role of Supreme

is more than a figurehead.

You must be present for
the betterment of our people,

not just off jet-setting
around the globe

to sate your vulgar,
licentious appetites.

- You go!
- What's your point, Myrt?

Why now, Fiona?

Why come back now?

I'm sorry.

I'm either confused
or really bored, but...

am I a rotten Supreme
because I stayed away or...

because I came back?

This is the second time
while you were under this roof

that a witch has gone missing
from this place.

And in both instances,
you were the last one

to see either one of them alive.

Please. She...She's still alive.

She has to be.

We all grieve
Anna Leigh, Fiona.

But, together,
none of the witches or warlocks

of the Council can detect
her life force.

We must assume the worst.

You say she was...

heading somewhere
when she spoke to you.

Did she give you
any indication as to where?

But she took a fine bottle
of wine with her.

She said it was
a final peace offering.

Anna Leigh recently
negotiated a truce

with Marie Laveau,
the voodoo queen.

You don't suspect the colored
witches are involved in this?

I couldn't say.

Gather yourself, girl.

You need to reach deep

and exercise your strength now.

We have something to tell you.

In loving memory
of our lost Supreme,

Anna Leigh Leighton,

we announce
her posthumous selection

of the witch she believed
to be her trueborn successor,

Supreme Elect,

Fiona Goode.

This Thursday night,

at the start of the full moon,

Fiona Goode will begin

the tests of the Seven Wonders.

From time immemorial,
our great people

has chosen to uphold and uplift

one among us who was
born destined to lead.

Can you believe

Fiona Goode.

She'll end up being the youngest
Supreme in history.

I can't believe she's
getting away with it.

Getting away with what, dogface?


A witch supreme in power

who can heal us
and make us whole...

I'm a Guardian of Veracity
in the Vernacular.

I know when a lie's being told,

and I protect the truth.



Honorum, Justitia,

Sapientia, Scientia.

I conjure and command thee,

dark lords to the vernacular,

summon truth from lying tongues.

Fie upon the wicked who dare
to throw sand in our eyes.

With force I command thee,
let truth be spoken!

Fiona aced transmutation

and pyrokinesis.

By this time tomorrow,

we'll have a new Supreme.

You notice how Spalding
spends his life

cleaning up Fiona's messes?

If Fiona did do
something terrible

to Anna Leigh,
Spalding knows about it.

If Spalding does know something,

he's not talking.

He's not going to have a choice.

I enchanted his tongue
so it's incapable

of speaking a lie.
And I happen to know

the Council is calling him for a
closed session tomorrow morning.

Thank you, Spalding.

Oh, my God!

What's happening?
Someone's been attacked.

Everyone, back to your rooms
this instant!

The time has come for you

to pay for every crime
you've committed.

I'm innocent until
proven guilty.

And so far, you have not
proven one goddamn thing.

The Council reminds you,

no witch has been tried,

and burned
at the stake since 1926.

And on a personal note,
I'd like to add

I've got a book of matches
in my pocket Fiona,

and I'm just dying
to light this fire.

Leave it in!

I'd like to call
our final witness, Spalding.

Stand before us.

40 years ago,
our Supreme disappeared.

Shortly thereafter,
you were mutilated.

Some call it coincidence,

others call it mystery.

As to me, I can't imagine living
under the same roof

as the monster
who dismembered me,

making her breakfast,
pouring her tea.

But you have nothing
to be afraid of now.

Justice is so near.

All you have to do is write
the name of the witch

who was responsible
for severing your tongue.

He's not going to have a choice.

I enchanted his tongue so it's
incapable of speaking a lie,

and I happen to know
the Council's calling him

for a closed session
tomorrow morning.

I got your note.

Thank you for coming.

These are my last words,
Miss Fiona.

I have always loved you.


This will not stand!

You killed Anna Leigh

because she was
the last Supreme!

And you killed an innocent girl

because she was
the next Supreme!

You got away with it!

She keeps getting away with it!

You're wrong.

You think my mother killed
Madison Montgomery

so she could remain
the Supreme?

Yes! You're blind to the ways
of your mother, chicky!

You always have been!

Madison wasn't the next Supreme.

The hallmark
of any rising Supreme

is glowing, radiant health.

Madison had a heart murmur.

She kept it monitored,
she kept is secret.

So I'm sorry, Myrtle.

For 40 years, you've been
barking up the wrong tree.

My mother is the Supreme
for a reason.

Hear, hear.

Come on, Mom. Come
on, come on, come on.

All right, child.
Come on!

Come on, Mom.
Come on, come on, come on.

All right, child.
Come on!

And look, don't eat
too much candy, you hear?

Good night.

Trick or treat!

Oh, little beggar children
all fancied up.

Don't be greedy.
Just take one.

You little hooligans!

You're being morbid.

Madison's not dead.

Then why can't I hear her?
Maybe she found

a way to keep you out
of her head.

I know I've been trying.

No. She passed.

We should be out
looking for her.

Fiona told us to stay inside.

Enough rosé.

Let's get you a proper drink.

Bartender, bring this lady
a Makers neat.

You'll make a bad girl
of me yet.

Well, Christ knows,
somebody's got to, darling.

Here, cheers.

Hmm. Ooh.


let's play a game.

We each ask each other
three questions,

and we swear
to answer them honestly.

Is your seat belt fastened?

Nice and tight.

Why do you hate Hank?

Are you attracted to him?


Because, Delia,
he reeks of bullshit.

And I don't understand
how you cannot see that.

Number two.

And no lying.

Did you kill Madison?

No. I did not kill Madison.

My turn.

Who do you believe
is the next Supreme?

No, no, no, no, no,
it's still my turn.

Yeah? Well, your
questions are boring.

So, answer my question.

Who do you think
is my replacement?

You're obsessed, aren't you?


You feel your powers weakening?


Keep these coming, mister man.

Hands off.

I decide what y'all deserve.

There you go.

You don't get anything.

No. I-I'm the
neighbor next door.

I came to drop off these?


Are those for Madison?

Actually, these cookies
are for you.

For me?

I wanted to pay you back

for that delicious cake
you brought over.