800 Words (2015–2018): Season 2, Episode 6 - 800 Words - full transcript

After a jet-ski injures a local, George is appalled that you don't need a license to drive a jet-ski in New Zealand and wants them all banned. He discovers Twitter and opens fire on jet-skiers.

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♪ And this is inside out
I want the best

♪ But our love is lost

♪ And this is inside out
I want you here... ♪

No.

Yeah.
No, I hear you, but nuh.

Hey.
Oi.

Hey.
How's it looking?

Sweet.
Lousy.

I'm telling you, I'm not seeing it.
And I'm telling you it's happened.

No, it's close
but it's not here yet.

No, today's the day.



The day for what?
Nothing.

She's... she's dreaming, mate.

You wouldn't understand
'cause you're not a local.

Well, I think I am.

No, you're not. Not yet.

You see, George,
once a year there's a day,

which is not today...
Yes, it is.

..when the ownership of the waves

passes from the locals
to the summer people.

OK, no-one owns the waves.

OK. If you want to get
all airy-fairy hippie on it.

They turn up with their
boogie boards and their jet skis

and the planks they call longboards,

and they don't understand the rules
and it turns to mayhem.



Mayhem?
Yep.

Yeah, if you're a local,
you don't surf after that day.

Not until all the summer people
are gone.

It doesn't look any different to me.
'Cause you're not a local.

Or you're wrong
and today's not the day.

I'm not wrong.

And I'm going for a surf,
'cause apparently I'm not a local.

Yeah, yeah, and I'm with you, mate.

Actually, I need a quick word.

Don't say you weren't warned!

Life turns on moments.

Moments we cannot foresee.

They roll up on us like a wave
so we cannot plan for them.

Which means we just have to
deal with the aftermath.

There's nothing different
about today.

Yeah, no, that's just Hannah.

She's a pessimist
who hates all the summer people,

even the ones she's hooked up with.

Some summer people
are actually pretty good.

And some are so good, you actually
forget they're summer people.

Well, is it a problem
they're summer people?

Well, no, it's just... weird,
you know?

Not really.

Well, it's like how you know
when you're in bed with someone

and they're talking about

how much they really like
farmers' markets, right?

And you're like, yeah, not so much,

because most of the people that
sell you stuff at farmers' markets,

they're not actually farmers,
George.

They're just people
selling you stuff

that a farmer would sell you
if they weren't busy farming.

And when they don't get that,

you realise you know someone
who would get that...

and it's not them.

Yeah, well, I guess that depends how
important farmers' markets are to you

in the bigger picture.

Yeah, well, not at all.

But it does get you thinking about
the bigger picture.

Yeah, clearly.

Yeah, no, but it isn't clear,
George. It isn't.

Because that's what the law
of the summer people does to a man -

messes with his thinkingby being
all fresh and shiny and... new.

Mine.
Hey, hey, locals first!

George, locals first!

Whoa!

Hey!

Of course,
one man's moment usually means

someone else has missed out.

And the thing about
a moment missed...

is that you can never get it back.

Woody!

Woody!

Woody.

George!
Right, three, two, one and lift.

OK, no hurry.

The last thing we want to do
is drop him.

Don't drop me.
We won't drop you.

Nobody likes being dropped?
We won't drop you, Woody.

Hey, I'll get that thing
done for you tomorrow.

Don't worry about it, Woody.

♪ Take my hand
and I'll lead you back... ♪

Woody!

What happened?

Woody's taken
a bit of a blow to his head.

Have I?
Yes, Woody.

Hey, you are such
a nice shiny person.

You are too.
Just lie still, OK

Jet skis really hurt when you
hit them with your head?

Mmm.

Smug, rich morons
and their evil machines.

We're taking him through to
Stafford Hospital.

I'm coming with you.
Yep, climb on in.

You can't pick
the moments that change your life.

It doesn't work that way.

No, they pick you,
and you hang on hoping for the best.

This idiot on a jet ski
came out of nowhere.

I mean, what the hell are they doing
in the same water

where people are surfing?

I...I don't know.
Yeah, course you don't. Sorry.

Why?

Why what?
Say you're sorry.

You're turning into a New Zealander.
They say sorry all the time.

But if you're angry about
the jet ski people,

that is nothing to be sorry about.

Write about it.

Yeah... yeah, I should.

But right now I've got to
get to Stafford.

He'll be OK.
Do you think?

Yeah, Woody kinda strikes me as
someone who would be hard to kill.

Gloria, I'm not exactly sure
what the protocol is here,

but can we, you know,
stop the presses?

Already stopped.
Really?

Well, in the light of
today's events,

I thought we might want to
switch out the headline.

Yeah. Yeah, probably for the best.

We can wait. See how it turns out.
Good. Thanks.

I do want to write about it, though.

Of course. You should.

Something along the lines of 'jet
skis are evil and should be banned'.

That's a pretty strong
editorial position, George.

Well, I feel pretty strongly
about it.

I'm off to Stafford now.
I'll write it there, if I can.

Of you could get it
out of your system now.

No, I want to get to the hospital.

OK, I know. Give me your phone.

Why?
Just give me your phone, George.

Phone, phone.

Here.

One of the things
I've been meaning to tell you

is that you have a Twitter account.

I do?

Yeah, in your official role as
editor of the 'News of the Weld'.

You have followers and everything.

But I've never tweeted in my life.

Yeah, well, I've been taking care of
the actual tweeting for you.

But don't worry. Everything has been
fairly innocuous up until now.

Is this the kind of thing
you wanted to say?

I keep your spelling and grammar
fairly old-school

because, well... you are.

That is what I want to say.

Then tweet away.

You just touch the word 'tweet'.

Well, yeah, I know that much.

Welcome to the information age,
George.

Send me a long-winded editorial
version when you're ready, OK?

That'll be the word spreading.

Big Mac?
Any word yet?

No. I'm on my way
to the hospital now.

OK. Keep us posted?
Will do.

And hold off on the witch-hunt until
we have all the details, will you?

Sorry. The what?

One incident is hardly cause
for a ban.

And I'm not just saying that

as the owner of
a small jet ski hire company.

Sorry. Did you read the tweet?

Yeah, and I realise
everyone's emotional right now,

but throwing around words
like 'ban',

well, it's just not helpful, is it?

Well, maybe you should tweet that,
Big Mac.

Well, somebody will, George.
I have to go now.

Our thoughts are with Woody.

I tweeted him what's what, Dad.

Yeah.

Hello.

OK, I get that news travels fast
in Weld,

but in this case I think
you've really jumped the gun.

Which gun's this?
Woody.

Last I heard he was very much alive.

I'm here to place an ad
for my pickles.

I sell them at the farmers' market.

Right.
Gloria can help you with that.

Well, I hope Woody's OK.

I'll pass that on.

Ooh!

Sorry! Sorry.

Jesus, George,
watch where you're going.

Yeah, I know. Are you alright?

Yeah, I was until you scared
the living daylights out of me.

You haven't heard?
Heard what?

About Woody.
What happened?

He got hit by a jet ski.
He's on his way to hospital.

That's where I'm going now.

Go. Go!

Every summer I say it.
Nobody listens to me.

Say what?

Jet skis... surfers -
it's a tragedy waiting to happen.

Now it has.

We don't really know
it's a tragedy yet.

The man's in hospital, Arlo.

Yeah, but a tragedy is like
a whole other level of thing.

Are you going in there?

Yeah. So?

I don't go in there
while the summer people are here.

Not after last summer.

What happened last summer?

I don't want to talk about it.

OK.

I thought I'd ask
if there were any jobs going.

Well, good luck with that.

Sorry.
Stop it.

I'm sorry. I'm not saying sorry
for the dropping.

I'm saying sorry for the...

I don't care. Just stop.

I can't help it. Sorry.

Sorry.
Don't you start.

How can we help?

Um, is Fiona here?

Fiona is on ambulance duty,

cleaning up the mess
that idiot jet skier made.

Can I help?

Well, I was gonna ask
if there were any jobs going.

Were you?

But it's OK. I can come back.

What's wrong with asking me
if there's a job going?

OK. I brought along my CV.

Really?

It's not much, I'm afraid.

Trust me, you're already
way ahead of the curve.

Can you wash dishes?

Yeah.

Lousy hours and totally
minimum wage. You good with that?

Sure.
Emma will show you the sink.

Come on.

Maybe all those people who have
joked for years will regret it now.

Joked about what?
About Woody being brain damaged.

Who would say such a terrible thing?

The gallery's exhibiting
their summer catalogue.

Ooh! I like art.

Pretty art, of course.

Not weird art
or art I don't understand.

Hey, any word on Woody?
No.

It's a terrible, terrible thing.

Ike's doing alright for himself.

I had no idea that was his name.
Yeah, not many people do.

I always assumed he was called Woody
because he was a builder.

He thinks it's funny
that's what you thought.

Our friend Jeff Woodson,
they said he was on this ward.

Yes, Mr Woodson's here.

Can we see him?
No.

Is he in surgery?

No, he's in his room,
but he's already got two visitors,

and hospital policy is
no more than two visitors.

Unless you're whanau
or close family.

Are you whanau or close family?

Not really.

Then you'll have to wait until
someone steps out.

For God's sake.

I warned you about this.

And I told you that the sound
of a familiar voice singing

is invaluable with coma patients.

Coma?

Tracey, George,
thank God you're here.

Help me do battle with this dragon!

There is no singing on my ward.

Heathen.

Now that Dr Smiler has stepped out,

one of you is more than welcome
to take his place.

You should go in first.

No, I need someone to go in
and then come back out

and tell me he's gonna be OK.

Are you sure?

Apparently it looks worse
than it is.

This is a precaution.

They asked him a heap of questions

and he kept getting
the answers wrong,

so they were worried,
so they put him under.

Personally, he just sounded like
Woody to me, but I'm not a doctor.

Watching someone sleep is weird.

There are no fractures.

I mean, clearly Woody has
a skull of cast iron.

I can believe that.

I'll get this.
Yes, because it's your table.

I knew that.

So, do we know how long
he'll be in this coma for?

No.

But he'll be alright, won't he?

We live in hope.

Yeah, we do.

I better get back.

Why is George's son working here?

Because he is.

Since when?
Since today.

You can't just hire staff
every time I'm not here.

Not every time, just this one.
And we needed a dishwasher.

So Woody gets hit on the head with
a jet ski and I end up forking out?

Also... I think they make
a really cute couple.

But they need all the help
they can get.

That is possibly true.

Sorry! Do you mind if...

Yeah, that's OK if I just... Sorry!

Just the two of you?
Others will come.

The tribe gathers
to honour the fallen.

Fiona.

Dad might be joining us.
Good.

Hey, look, I've had an ice-cream

so I might just stick with
the drinks, if that's alright.

Yeah, what if I'm hungry?

Well, you can order something.
All I said was I had an ice-cream.

Pick a table. Any table.

How's our boy, Woody?

In an induced coma.

Hi.

Just grab a table and
I'll send someone over with menus.

Why are we serving him?

Who? Monty? No idea.

The guy who drove the jet ski.

OK, so that's grounds for
not serving him lunch in your book?

Hell, yeah.
Fine.

Then Emma can
take care of their table.

You are kidding, right?

It was an accident, Hannah.

So he's in hospital unconscious

and you're going to drink
and tell Woody stories?

And you could too if you
got off your high horse.

But it doesn't help, does it?

So we should all stay home
and study brain surgery?

That's not in very good taste.

That's what people do, Katie,
when they care.

They get together because it's
better than not getting together.

And if you'd like
to come down to the boat club too,

that would be good.

And I'll buy you fellas dinner.

He seems... peaceful.

You go in.

I don't know if I should.

Tracey, you didn't come all this way
to sit in a waiting room.

Go.

It's fine.

It'll be fine.

He talks about you a lot.

I'm not the fun police.

Sorry, George?
I've started a Twitter war.

If only all wars
were Twitter wars

where the only thing that got hurt
were feelings

and everyone went home
thinking they've won.

I am not the fun police!

And what's dancing
got to do with it?

'Footloose', George.

Are you not familiar with the works
of the great Kevin 'Bake-on'?

Right, I get it now.

Yay!

Another tweet telling me I suck.

George, you've really got to work on
recognising your phone sounds.

Hey, Jan!

Smiler, hi. Is George there?

Yeah. Hi, Jan.

What's the story with Woody?
You heard?

Well, it's a small world, George.

He's alive, in an induced coma.

And being guarded by barbarians

who don't understand
the medicinal benefits of culture.

But he's gonna be OK, right?
Yeah, it's just a precaution.

Against what?

Brain swelling!

Anyway, jet skis - forget what those
Twitter trolls say. They are evil.

What, you know about
the Twitter thing?

Of course. I follow you.

I didn't know there was
a me to follow until today.

Really?

Jan, does my column over there
have a Twitter account?

Yes, but I do an excellent you.

What?
She surely does.

Yeah, Jan!

I'm gonna hang up now.

Well, keep me posted.
Will I need to?

So Woody and I are
standing in front of these cabinets

he's supposed to be building for me.

For your toy trains?
Scale model, Zac.

And all I want to know is when
he's gonna finish the bloody things.

And he starts going on
about Aristotle

and symmetry and proportion
and harmony.

Then he goes surfing, never comes
back, and they're still not finished.

Why isn't he locked up?
Monty? Good question.

No. Him.

You can't lock someone up
for an accident.

Well, you can, but not in this case.

You should be throwing the book
at him after what he did.

There's not really a book to throw.

Hey. Any word?

I just deliver them, Tom.

If there was any word, presumably...

you'd be among the first to hear it?

Good point.

Do you want a coffee?

No, I'm fine. Thanks.

I need a coffee.

Just checking you're OK.

Having the greatest day ever.

All good here. How's Woody?

He's still in a coma
so it's hard to tell.

That sucks.

Yeah, no good.

But in unrelated good
news, Arlo's got a job.

Really?
It's nothing. It's part-time.

Mm, so he can be near his true love.

Don't listen to her.
She doesn't know anything.

Is this Emma?

Worst waitress ever.

I got a job because...
I want to earn money, right?

Yeah, right.

If you say so, Arlo. Good on you.

Look, the thing is, I'm not sure if
I can make it back to Weld tonight.

We'll be fine, Dad.
OK.

Well, look, I love you and I'll keep
you posted if anything happens.

See you.

Are you away?

I'm not very good
round hospitals.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Tracey and Enrico
are on Woody watch.

He's humming Puccini or someone
to drive Nurse Whatsit up the wall.

It's working.

You know I never ever thought of
sitting in silence

as a competitive sport.

Well, I'm sure it's not.

It is when you're sitting alongside
Miss Perfect.

Tracey isn't trying to
compete with you.

No, 'cause she doesn't have to.

I'm going in search of
some decent coffee.

You want some?
No, I'm good, thanks.

So, will any of the things
being exhibited be yours?

Mine? No. No way.

Why not?

Because I'm not very good.

I bet you're really good.
Mmm.

Thanks for this.
No worries. Anytime.

Like my wheels?

I'm sure the ladies all love it.

I live in hope.

Do you want a ride?

I'm good. Thanks.

All you have to do is call.

Still good.

Being the creatures we are,

we try and control the moments
that shape our destiny.

We try to bend them to our will.

Sometimes this works, sure.

But sometimes we get it tragically,
tragically wrong.

Any change?

Apart from me scaring Becks away?

You didn't scare her away.

I saw her outside. She was saying
she wasn't good around hospitals.

I don't want to drive her away,
George.

I know.

Woody and I, we had our shot,
and we made our choices.

Well, I made my choice.

She's really nice
and she's into him. That's good.

Woody and Becks?
Lovely couple.

Woody and Tracey?

I see where you're heading
with this.

You do?

George, I've spent enough time
with Woody banging on about Tracey

to be one step ahead of you.

So... why aren't they together?

Apart from the fact that he's in
a coma and got another girlfriend?

Yeah, yeah, bigger picture.

Well, sometimes 'cause
humans make dumb choices

for what they think
are the right reasons.

Yeah, but what if
all the parties agree

that the wrong decision's been made
but they don't know how to say it?

Especially when one of the parties
is in a coma.

Yeah, exactly.

George, sometimes
when a man has no voice,

it might help if
another man became his voice.

Two beautiful people
walking a path through a forest.

Then they come to
a fork in that path

and then decide to take
separate paths.

And the further they go along
these separate paths,

the more they realise their
splitting upwas a really dumb idea.

But they can't go back
because you can't go back.

So what they need is a voice
telling them to get off that path

and venture into the forest.

And the voice has to guide them
through the forest until they meet

on another path.

The one they couldn't see
for all the trees.

You do realise that
you're the voice, right?

Thanks for the hospital pass.

What better place for
a hospital pass than a hospital.

How's the job going?

Good. Good.

I hate doing dishes.
Me too.

But it's your job.

I don't mind.

Er...

How come you spend summers here
with Fiona?

Um, my mum hooked up with this guy
and he's got four kids already,

so... last summer I came to stay with
Aunty Fiona, and it kinda worked.

So we decided to do it again.

I'm glad you did.

Me too.

And this summer's been way better
than last summer.

What was wrong with last summer?

There was this guy
who had this huge crush on me.

It got awkward.

Does that happen a lot -
guys getting a crush on you?

Yeah, all the time.

Yeah, that must be terrible.

Well, it helps if
I've got a crush on the guy too.

Who said you could take a break?

Hannah.

Don't listen to her.
Get back inside.

You're OK to close up?

Of course.
Mmm.

Don't get drunk and drive.

I won't.
If I get drunk, I'll call Ike.

Why would she call Ike
if she was too drunk to drive?

Because that's his job.
Driving drunk people?

He's like Weld's version of Uber.

You call, he comes.

In that stupid beach buggy thing.

Apparently it's part of
the attraction.

Word is he's coining it,
saving heaps for going away.

Going away?
Yeah. On a scholarship.

What scholarship?

The one to go to university
in Auckland.

The one he got when...
That's right. You'd run away.

So Woody says, "Mate,
you think the bannister's poked.

"Wait till you see the newel post."

And the thing was, he was right.

Yeah, ripping story, Sean. Good one.

I was just pointing out
that he had a really good eye

when it came to stairs...
Had? He's not dead, Sean.

Er, sorry for interrupting.

But you're friends of Woody's,
right?

What right do you even have
to use his name?

Hannah, settle.

I just wondered
if there's been any news.

Er, not for a while.

So, still in a coma is the answer.

I get that you're angry with me,
and I don't blame you.

That's big of you.

And if I could take back the moment
I got on that thing, I would.

But I can't.

It was Ryan's first time
on a jet ski.

I argued with my mates,
"If you want to ride a motorbike...

"ride a motorbike, that there's
no place for them on the water."

"Don't dis them till
you've tried it," they said.

And like an idiot, I agreed.

So we're meant to
feel sorry for you now, are we?

Like I said, my decision
and I have to wear it.

I'm just hoping like hell he's OK.

Do you want a drink, mate?

No, I should... I should get back.

Bring them over.
We're all friends here.

Come on.
Bring them over.

Come here. Come here.

Ooh.

Mate, it's OK.

If it stops you singing,
you can go in and see your friend.

But isn't that against the rules?

If it stops you singing,
it's worth it.

So they just
stopped the drugs?

And he wakes up... when he's ready.

Well, he looks better without
that breathing thing.

Looks like Woody again.

Be good to have him back,
don't you reckon?

Yeah. I miss him.

Been that way for a while, though,
hasn't it?

I guess.

He just gets into my soul, you know?

I mean, when a man has the gift
of being able to say

exactly the right thing to a woman
at the right time, or...

He certainly has that gift.

And I'm not even a woman.

Why do things never go the way
you want, George?

Because when you plan...

God laughs.

Something like that.

It's not very helpful, though,

when you try and figure out
if it's the right time.

The right time for what?

To fall in love.

I don't think you can schedule
falling in love.

Look who I found.

Sorry. Coffee hunt - fruitless.

Typical Stafford.

Wow, you breached the defences.

Yes, George, I did.

Here.
Thanks.

Ike in a Buggy is seriously
the best name you could come up with?

But I'm Ike and I drive my buggy.

Yeah, but it sounds like
you're from, like, the Wild West.

Maybe I want it to sound like that.
Yeah, right.

OK, Shay, how can I help you?

Or did you just call
only to mock me?

Mainly the mocking.

But I, do need a pick-up.

Do you?
Yes.

What if I'm already on my way
to another pick-up?

Then I guess you'll miss out.

And I can't have that.
Where am I picking you up from?

Katie's gallery.
Give me five minutes to close up.

I will be there in four.

So sorry. Family emergency!

So this is your
money-making venture?

Yeah. I'm doing OK.

I know you are.
I've seen who you're driving round.

They're summer people,
Shay, that's all.

Who like to be driven by Ike.

Strictly professional.

Hands off.

Why? You could if you wanted to.

I don't want to.

I repeat - why?

Look, I... I could...

I could hide behind a joke here.
That'd be easy as.

Much easier than the truth.

Which is what?

They're not you.

You're leaving, I hear.

When summer's done, yeah.

I'll give you directions as we go.

So to make my point,
I took the half-finished shelves

and I put them up for sale
at the gallery as a work of art.

Woody was rapt.
He kept calling himself an artist.

Did they sell?

- Actually, yes.
- Brenda bought them.

Yeah, I did.
Did you?

I love them.

How much did you pay?
30.

This will go on for a while,
so... just see you in the morning.

OK.

Do I still have a job tomorrow?

Yes, Arlo, you have a job tomorrow.

Do you want to
come back to my place?

We'll watch something or...

I'd love that.

No. No, you are.

Do you know anything about Twitter?

I've sort of started something

and it's gone in strange
and unexpected directions.

No, but I certainly know
the feeling.

Are you...

sneaking off again?

I feel like a fraud being in there.

He's waking up.

If you don't at least say goodbye...

he's gonna be very confused.

What year is it?

What year is it?

It's this year.

What year is it?

It's this year.

Yes, but what year is this?

It's THIS... YEAR.

What year is this year?!

What does it matter, lady?!
It's always this year.

G'day, guys.

Hey, Woody.

♪ Spend a lot of time thinking
about the situation I'm in... ♪

Are you sure this is where
you want to go?

♪ Get it once in every while but
I never really make sense of it... ♪

Yep.

♪ Shooting the lyric down
like the figurate on my wrist

♪ One day I'll figure it out
and drill it into my head

♪ Moving on... ♪

Sorry, but Ike and
his buggy are done for the night,

but please leave a message because
your business is important to us.

What kind of lame duck
taxi service are you running here?

Tom!

You're on taxi duty.

♪ Two years cleaning up the mess
that I made... ♪

He's awake.

Is he OK?

♪ Still don't believe,
but I take the leap anyway

♪ I feel the nerves
swirl around my body

♪ Take all I learned... ♪

George just says "He's Woody."

Here's to Woody!

To Woody!

I really want to say that
it was full of dreams of, you know,

polar bears and penguins
just living side by side.

But it really wasn't.
Disappointing.

And what's the last thing
you remember?

Um... well, I was out the back
with George, and um...

We were talking. That's right.

And then you decided to
surf into a jet ski.

Is that what it was?!

What did you think it was?

I thought it was
a very loud polar bear

being chased by
an angry penguin.

Welcome back, Woody.

Hey? Hey?

It's good to be back, mate.

I'm glad you made it?
Yeah, me too.

And...
I'm happy for you.

Thanks.

You're a great guy.
It was fun.

All yours.

OK, um, hang on.

Did I just come out of a coma
and get dumped?

It's like what you were saying
when we were out the back

about how sometimes you
don't pick up on the moments

that change your life
until it's too late.

The thing is... sometimes life
has a way of fixing things.

Give you the chance to put right

what you should have got right
the first time.

And that's the best I've got.

Shall we give them the room?

I think we shall.

Ooh.

You know all that stuff I said about

not wanting to mess up my life
with a relationship?

Yeah.

That was crap.

Yeah... it really was.

Are you crying?

No, it's the dust
in these old hospitals?

So, how much do I owe you?

Um, I think this one's on the house.

That's no way to run a business.

It's called building
a relationship with the customer.

Huh.

You know, keep them coming back
for more, so...

Well, I still think
you deserve something...

for being such an excellent
taxi driver.

Mmm. Business calls.

Yes, it does.

Some hussy doing the walk of shame.

My favourite customers.

Life turns on moments.

Moments we cannot foresee.

They roll up on us like a wave.

So he just woke up
like nothing had happened?

Yeah, well, for him,
nothing had happened...

that he was aware of, anyway.

Go, Woody.

So... anything happen here
while I was away?

No, nothing much.

Emma and I watched movies.

No biggie.

So we cannot plan for them,

which means we just have to
deal with the aftermath.

Don't say a word.

Other moments, thankfully,
can be taken back

and consigned to the pit
where they belong.

Please make it stop.

Shall I handle all of your tweeting
from now on, then?

Yes, please.

Then there are moments

that deserve to be
shouted from the rooftops.

I'm back!

I didn't die!

Monty! Hey!
Yeah!

I'm out of my coma!
Hey!

Yahoo!

There's Ike. Ikey!

Jet ski, mate.

Yahoo!

Yeah, buddy!

I'm alive!

I'm alive.
Yay!

Yahoo!

Hey.
Hey, Georgie!

I thought Smiler
was bringing you back.

Yeah, well,
the last time I saw Smiler,

he was heading off the nurse

and a very big smile on his face.

Hey, George,
you have to try Doug's pickles.

They are amazing.
We better go, though, mate.

I'll catch you later.
Yeah.

Doesn't look any different, does it?

No... but it is.

Yeah, doesn't last long, though,

you know,
till the summer people are gone

and she's all ours again.

Us locals.

I'm a local now, am I?
Yeah. Yeah, I reckon.

Which means you can
be in on the secret place.

There's a secret place?

Well, if you're a local there is.

And luckily now... you are.

But, hey, let's take your car.

My system's still full of drugs

and every now and again
I still see double.

So, bring the other George with you,
will you?

And we might as well
grab your kids on the way too.

On the way where?

There, George. There, mate.

Are we allowed to do this?

Er, normally no.
Big Mac would do his nut.

Is this Big Mac's land?
Yeah, but he gets it.

Gets what?

Well, when the summer people
take over the beach,

us locals, we need somewhere
to let off steam.

♪ Turned on the weather

♪ Joined at the stars
and the clouds... ♪

♪ You said tonight is the night... ♪

Well, Turners, this is it...

Hey!
..our secret place.

You know, when the summer people
come, they take over our beach,

buzzing around on their water cycle.

We like to come here, keep calm,
chill out and stay sane.

And with the power vested in me,
as a local...

I reckon you fellas
can come here too.

Can we bring a friend?
Yeah.

Only as long as it's
a special friend, young Arlo.

Hey, Woody, you know,
Hannah took revenge for you

by sleeping with the guy
that ran into you.

Shut up!

Yeah, thanks, Hannah.
That means a lot.

♪ A long distance call
to keep your spirits up... ♪

And... thanks, mate...

for, you know, being my voice.

You did a good job, mate.

To be honest, Woody, things
just kind of... unfolded around me.

See? You truly are a local.

But I guess the best
moments, they're not life-defining.

They're certainly not the culmination
of some well-thought-out plan.

They just happen.

And you let them happen to you.

And as a way of life,

there is absolutely nothing wrong
with that picture.