Çarsi Pazar (2015) - full transcript

HOT ROOM

This is the hardest case
in my entire career, Hayri.

The last person to wash
this guy was his midwife.

He's scratching, boss.
The dirt wants its own body.

No dirt can leave my bath, Hayri!

Order a soda for me.

-This guy will surely make me work.
-Sure, boss.

-It won't hurt much, right?
-No pain, dirt bag.

I'll knead you until you're
only as firm as an earlobe.

Off we go!

MECBURİYET MARKETPLACE



Charge the soda to the bath!

Where should I leave it?

There.

-Kamil.
-Huh?

-What about payment?
-I'll pay. I'm not going anywhere.

-Don't you see I'm busy?
-Every time.

Why are these kids so obsessed with money?

To the right. A little more to the right.

Tanju, why are you putting up a
horse painting? You are a circumciser.

Would you like to see
the pictures of the wieners I cut?

What would you like to see?

Coffee man's little helper!
Isn't your boss here yet?

No, Cemil.
He's in the bath. He just went in.

MECBURİYET BATH



Man, why do you persist?

He will demolish this place
and build a great mall.

You'll have a bath inside the mall.
What else could you ask for?

Mahmut, please.
How could there be a bath inside a mall?

Let's say there is one.
Who would go there? Would you?

If you wash like this, no one will.
What was wrong with my beard?

-It gave me a unique style.
-Even your style is dirty.

It's like finding a man inside dirt.
Have you sworn off touching water?

You know what? Many girls go to malls.

-It makes me think.
-Really, Hayri?

Since when are you capable of thinking?

Stop talking and get to work. Flip him.

Oh, God!

What the hell is this? What a nasty view!

We should cover him with lime
and bury him. That's the only way.

This won't work. Bring me my 13/14 glove.

Right away, boss.

Bring me the 18/19.

Look, you'll earn money
and you'll have a brand new place.

Tanju and Kemal refuse
to sign too, because of you.

You're bringing them down with you.

Mahmut, I'm telling you,
this bath is everything I have.

They won't demolish it!

Please don't make him mad!

You'll make a fool of everyone.

You have the face of a donkey,
be stubborn as well.

I also have its junk, Mahmut.
Would you like to see it?

Who is the soda for?

It's mine. Give it to me.
I've been kneading all day. I'm all hot.

Hayri, rinse him.

I'm burning! Dude, that hurt a lot!

It's OK. It kills the germs.

-Man, will you sell it?
-No, I won't!

Is the bath owner
still not convinced, Cemil?

I gave you tons of money
to take care of things over there.

Is it so hard to convince a bath owner?

Look, Mr. Tuncay. Sir, your highness.

Kamil and Tanju are OK.

And we have come far with the bath man.
We'll close the deal today.

There was Hikmet the barber
in our neighborhood when I was a child.

He kept brushing his junk up against me.

One day, I asked if he was hitting on me.

He said he was old enough to be my father.

I said I trusted my father,
look what he did to my mother.

I mean, Cemil,
don't you ever brush against me.

-Or your mother...
-My mother!

Mr. Tuncay, I got the moral
of the story perfectly, sir.

Don't you worry.
I'll take care of everything, sir.

With respect, sir. With respect.

-Is he going to cut my hair?
-Yes.

Sir, the back will go up,
the front will go down.

The right side will be longer in the back.

The left side will be
shorter in the front.

And when it's done, let's shave
some lines on the sides. OK?

OK.

Do you want to remove the balcony wall?

It would be more spacious.

Be a man! Grow up!

Just because you have
some hair, you go crazy!

Stick with the crew cut.

-Don't move.
-What the hell are you doing?

Cemil, look at me.

You keep going. I'll be right back.

Mahmut, they say stress causes hair loss.

But I'm losing mine
because of that "bath-shit" crazy dude.

-What does he say?
-He's digging.

-His heels?
-In.

For God's sake!

Mr. Tuncay is losing his patience.
Soon, he'll want his money back.

Are you sending
people to talk to me? Pumpkin!

Who? Me? No way.

I won't ruin my reputation
by talking to you.

Your reputation won't be ruined unless
you have lice on your head. Dumpkin!

I just came up with it.

It's actually pumpkin, but I say dumpkin.

Got it? Look. What is it?
Are you offended?

I know what to do with you.

Help!

-What have you done?
-I put my signature, boss.

Get back in there! You mutt!

Look, he's a dumpkin,
and his helper is a dickkin.

I mean dump and dick.

A dick is thin.

What do people find funny? I don't get it.

Boss.

Boss.

Boss.

Boss!

-What now?
-Osman the imam is coming.

Osman the imam?

Run, boy. The statue.

-Dear sir, I have a request.
-What do you want, heretic?

Ever since you told people
not to go to the bath

there's a nude woman on its door.

You'll be unclean when
you leave, business has collapsed.

Maybe you could update that preaching.

The update hasn't been released yet.
I can't do it.

You think this is a smart phone?

For God's sake!
Kahraman, I have things to do.

What's up? Where to?

Your father is dying.
I'll say his final prayers.

May God accept it.

My father?

Dad, what happened? And how?

We did our best as a team,
but it just wasn't our day.

What do you mean how?
I'm dying here! I'm dying!

-Go eat a donkey dick!
-God forgive us. Good God.

Hodja, I beg your pardon.

I'm dying and I don't know
what I'm saying.

Where is your father?
I could ask for his blessing.

Where is grandpa, mom?

-He's on TV.
-On TV?

Dear audience!
Welcome back to "Marry Me, Girl".

We have Bekir here.

Mr. Bekir, what did you like
most about Ms. Sümbül?

Her sex! Females are my favorite.

Oh, he's such a cutie pie! God bless you!

Mr. Bekir, will you provide for me?

I will. I have a bath.
I'll give it to you!

Sümbül, he's giving
you the bath. You're so lucky.

I can't wait anymore.

Did he just say he'll give her the bath?

Kahraman. Get over here.

Look, son. I've lived my life. It's over.

It's time to make room
for the younger ones.

Did I live well? The hell I did!

God bless our prophet. Repent!

Hodja, I beg your pardon.
I mean, I lived a good life.

But of course, there was a price to pay.

-Do you see that box?
-Yes.

Bring it to me.

-What is this, dad?
-This is my legacy to you.

Thank you, dad. You didn't have to.

These receipts, bills.
What's this list, dad?

A complete list of the people
who won't speak well of me.

All my debts are yours now.
Congratulations.

Now you can't say your father
didn't leave you anything.

Dad, are you crazy? What's with the debts?
He got a disco ball for 1.000 liras.

Disco ball!

I'm not well. Don't be so hard on me.

Oh! He even billed an escort!

-God damn you, Kadir!
-He surely will.

God damn you, father!

I just had a cup of tea and left.

A cup of tea! It cost you thousands!

-Oh, dear God.
-Look at this picture.

"We thank you
for supporting the Russian economy."

He is with the Russian ambassador.

Hodja, what happened? Why did you stop?

Kadir, the science of medicine is
helpless in some cases, you know?

And religion is helpless in your case.

May God forgive your sins.

-Good God.
-What do you mean?

You have season tickets to hell, he says.

I just came up with that.
Out of the blue.

It's because I'm a philanderer.
Russian girls and everything.

Oh, the man died laughing!

-God is great.
-Dear God.

-Hello, everyone.
-Hello.

-Hello.
-Hi.

Finally you're here.
I wish you had made it to the funeral.

Your son-in-law dies and you chase booty!

How the hell could I know he was
going to die? I thought it was my turn.

Don't worry. You'll bury us.

-Hello.
-My condolences, Kahraman.

Thank you.

Let's not fight at a funeral, Kahraman.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Thanks. Thank you.

Here, brother.
I brought this for you to eat.

Why did you bother?

Damn it, are those peaches?

Yes, peaches from our orchard.
Have some. It's good for your health.

All hairy and fuzzy.

Go give it to your mom!
Damn you, barber! Mom!

What happened? You're drooling.
You look like a camel now.

Will you swear?
In the middle of a funeral?

Not out loud, but I'll swear
from the inside. Mom, take this!

-Hello, everyone.
-Hello.

He died laughing right before my eyes.
May God forgive his sins.

God is great.

Alright, Cemil.

Your application to marry our daughter
Gülcan has been reviewed.

-You have been deemed eligible.
-That's right, Kadir.

As our tradition implies,
I ask for your daughter Gülcan

providing that the payment
will be made in cash.

Let's give her at once and get the money.

I'm a professional father after all.

Stop! You can't ask for this girl.

Dad, what are you trying
to do while I'm out?

Look at me! I rushed over here from work.
My sister doesn't want him.

Son, your mother didn't want me
at first either, but now...

Still doesn't.

Dad, even his parents don't love him.
He came here by himself.

What does that have to do with anything?
Why are you stirring up trouble?

I told my father to come
and ask for her for me

He said he was hungry.
How could he show up here hungry?

He was going to have some soup.
How could he show up hungry?

A hungry man is...
Man, I guess actually he doesn't love me.

Son, why do you need a father?
We don't want the father.

We want the money.
Don't stand in the way of my happiness.

Dad, please. Sister, do you love him?

Not at all!

Dad, I fell in love with
someone from Istanbul.

Cemil is not really my type.
He can't be anyone's type.

Just a second. Could you please
look at me from this angle?

This one?

No.

-I didn't like that one either.
-This marriage is impossible.

Really, dude?

I won't let my sister
marry someone she doesn't want.

I won't forget this, Kahraman.
You've prevented me from being happy.

From now on, you are
my greatest enemy. Kadir!

-What?
-I want my down payment back.

-I already spent that.
-You spent it?

Yes.

I won't leave this house
empty handed! No way!

Still not handsome?

Welcome.

God bless his soul. He was a good man.

-He was good.
-He was good.

-Yes, he was a good man.
-Yes, yes.

-He was a philanthrope.
-He really was.

-He was humane.
-Humane.

-Oh, God.
-He hit on every woman he saw. Horndog.

-He was such a horndog.
-Horndog.

-Yes, he was.
-He was a horndog for sure.

Bastard drank all the time
and never paid for it.

-He was a bastard.
-A real one.

-He was a bastard.
-He was such a bastard.

He ran a tab to use the bathroom.
He was a dirty, useless man.

-Indeed.
-He was useless.

Really.

Wait. What the hell?
Would you like me to lie down...

-Don't say that.
-Oh, dear God!

Who are you? Why do you
speak ill of the dead?

We work at the night club
where Kadir was a regular.

-We're here to not give him our blessings.
-He owed us money.

His debt is mine from now on.

-I'll pay it.
-The debt is paid.

-We're here just to be jerks.
-Are you crazy?

This brings me to why I came here.

But wait a minute. Let me finish my halva.

Your father mortgaged
the bath with our bank.

If you don't pay,
we'll confiscate the bath.

What's going to happen now?

Can I have some more halva?
It was delicious.

Mr. Manager, what the hell are you saying?

We loved the halva.
Asime, I want the recipe.

Yeah, you drop dead soon and
I'll come over and cook your halva.

She asks for a recipe
from a house in mourning. Lunatic.

That was a deep sigh, my donkey-eyed boy.

-What do you have on your mind?
-I don't know, mother.

Should I feel sad because my dad died?
Or because of the debts?

If I can't pay them, I'll lose the bath.
Should I feel sad? I don't know.

My dad did what was best, you know.

Seriously. Dying is great,
minus the cotton in the ass.

But you always do this to yourself.

If you had found a good wife,
you'd have her to share your sorrow.

Yes, mom. All I ever think of is marriage.

-Leave it for today.
-Before you make your final decision,

I'd like you to see
your mother's studies on this subject.

Did you prepare a catalog?
That's too much! Please. Don't.

Whoa! Is that Shakira?

It represents Nazife.
She dances just like Shakira.

What is this?
Mom, for God's sake, put it away.

I had a really rough day. Alright,
I'll get married to a decent bride.

-Hi. Have a good day.
-Hi.

It'll be here.

Look. Here it is. This is my shop.

I will call it Mahmut's World.

I'll even sell cappuccinos.

What's up? Did that barber
get into your head as well?

No, brother. Tanju and Kamil asked,
and I was telling them.

Tanju?

Kahraman, we heard about
your debts. We got curious

and wanted to see what would happen
if they demolished the place.

Well, well. I get it, Tanju.

You have known me
since I was little, in every sense.

You neighbored my dad for years.
Now you do this behind his back.

OK, sell your store. Shame on you.
You should sell yours too, Kamil.

Sell it!

Please don't sell.
I was acting like a jerk. I'm so sorry.

It's because I'm young.

At least wait until
I pay off the mortgage.

-Alright. We'll see.
-Don't sell.

-I said alright!
-OK, I'm out.

Nice, very nice.
It turns out the bath man is in debt.

Whatever you do,
keep him from paying it off.

Don't you worry, sir. I got this.

I'll do my best to keep him
from paying it off.

I'm so happy about this information. So
happy that I'm inviting you to breakfast.

-Would you like caviar?
-I would love that.

-I didn't eat anything today.
-Stop! You animal!

Poor people don't get jokes.

Can't you see?
I'm having breakfast with Cookie.

You're right, sir.
I am a bit of an animal.

Sometimes, I disgust even myself.

-God damn you, Cemil.
-I hope He will, ma'am. Why?

I asked you to get me hair removal cream.

And you brought this?

No, ma'am. This removes hair too.
I asked my mom to prepare it.

An organic wax, made with sugar
and lemons from our orchard.

You can even eat it. Look.

You're gross, Cemil. Get lost!

Yes, ma'am. Mr. Tuncay. Mrs. Şenay.

Cookie.

Look at him.
I don't know what breed he is.

He can't be anyone's type.

Look, Tuncay. I've had enough.

Build the damn mall and
let's get out of here!

Go! Go to hell!
Feel the warmth of family bliss.

Oh, my Cookie.
You are the only one who understands me.

It's like a book of fate,
not a book for accounting.

They're all over me.

Kahraman, look. I brought her to meet you.

My love and your new grandma.

Sümbül!

Welcome. Your hand.

-Let me.
-Oh, grandma, what are you doing?

It's our tradition.
The bride kisses hands.

Oh, boy! She's so nice! I love it!

Girl, let me kiss you. I feel like it.

Oh, what is this?

I no longer want to be a man.

Grandpa, this is the time to say it.
Am I adopted?

Boss! The barber gathered everyone.
He's agitating.

-Come at once!
-That damn barber!

Girl, come on.
I'll show you the back of the bath.

Oh, you devil!

Now that Mr. Kamil and
Mr. Tanju are also on board,

we're one step closer to
finalizing our project.

Friends! I spoke to
his highness Mr. Tuncay.

I went to see him myself.
We had a short meeting.

He'll tear this place down
and build a mall in an instant.

And then, he'll hand you
the keys to your new stores.

He's a caviar-eating man, after all.
It's not like he's going to lie.

You ate a donkey's junk
thus we don't believe you.

And you gather everyone
and try to trick with caviar.

Caviar, schmaviar! Good God!

Here comes the cockroach who says God.

We agreed on the principles.
Stay out of it.

So this dumpkin believes him.
But what about you? You're grown men!

Tanju, why would there be
a circumciser in a mall?

Kamil, why would there be
a hardware store in a mall?

Kahraman, you're right, but
we believed in you and you let us down.

-Everybody signed it.
-Well done!

Dude, his shop is smaller
than the wieners he cuts.

If the wiener is in the shop,
he can't go in, and vice versa.

Won't this man ever be able to be in
his shop with a wiener at the same time?

Doesn't he deserve wieners?

Tanju, why would there be
a circumciser in a mall?

For God's sake.
Are people going to get it cut again?

Are they going to say
it's gotten too long, shorten it?

-Oh, he totally nailed that.
-Well done, Kahraman!

I just came up with that.

People!

For God's sake, would it be so bad
if all this was demolished and renewed?

-Of course it would be bad!
-Right, let me kiss that mouth!

No. I'm sorry. That's not what I meant.

When I said that I meant
we're on the same page.

Well, kissing your mouth.
It's like I agree with you logically.

I mean, we have the same mindset.
Of course it would be bad.

There are other parts to kiss.
Instead of the mouth, I mean.

Let me kiss somewhere else, I mean.
You were saying?

I was saying

Will you let them demolish
this beautiful marketplace?

Why would a mall be better?

Of course.

What's up, Kahraman?
Your new gal pal? Who is she?

Who are you?
Why meddle with our thing?

I am a teacher looking out
for the history here.

-You don't say!
-Sister, this place isn't historical.

It was burnt down and rebuilt.

So what? It's still better
than those disgusting gray buildings.

This place has a beauty unique to Tokat.

Right? Look around.

Of course it does.

All shops here are a symbol
of Tokat, except that horse fly.

Everybody knows about
your debts to the bank.

You're running out of time.

If you can't pay your debts,
Mr. Tuncay will tear that bath down.

Please don't get tempted!
Come on. Let's go to the coffee shop.

I'll give you the project details.

I don't understand. Really.

Why are people so hyped about malls?

It seems big cities
weren't enough. Now here.

No. It won't be that easy.

Hello, by the way. I'm Kahraman Sabuncu.

Owner and bath master
of the Mecburiyet Bath.

Hello there.
Bahar Yilmaz. I teach history.

Pleased to meet you.
Hayri, look after the bath.

Can we talk for two minutes
if you have time?

-OK, let's talk while we walk.
-Sure, after you.

We rushed to the mayor's office,
but I was appointed here only recently,

so I'm not so good at petitioning.

Dear Mayor, as you are probably aware,

they want to demolish the historical
marketplace and build a mall.

History means a lot to us.
History is our crown jewel.

Look, for instance,
we bought this table three years ago.

-It's also historical, right?
-Sort of.

So, this two year old pen
is also historical.

Now, I'm signing here.
This is new. But wait.

Look. The ink has dried.
It's a historical signature now!

-Sir, I have fresh tea.
-No, you don't!

The tea in the pot is fresh.

The tea in the glass is historical.

What would happen if I didn't drink
this tea because it's historical?

I'd get dehydrated. So, the result?
Malls are our crown jewel.

Two more historical teas?

What happened? I didn't get it.

I came here to save the bath,
they handed me the utility bill.

Are they really going to
demolish that marketplace?

Over my dead body! There's no way.

Once I pay the debt off, I won't sell
the bath. No one can do a thing.

-OK then. We need to find the money.
-Yes, we need to find the money.

Kahraman, I'll do my best. Honestly.

Thank you, teacher. That means a lot.

We are like a team now.

Like Batman and Robin.
Like Tarkan and his wolf.

-Like Don and Quixote.
-What? Don and Quixote?

Dons are our crown jewel.

So, you teach history.

History was my favorite class.

Like a TV series.

But after the Stagnation, it wasn't
interesting. It started repeating itself.

Kahraman, you're so funny.

Kahraman, where are you coming from?

-I'll walk the teacher to her house.
-OK, good.

Do you know these gentlemen?
We greet each other every morning.

They talk to me,
but I can't understand and reply.

Yes. We talk but she doesn't understand.

Where did you find this gal, Kahraman?
She's like an angel.

What did they say?

He asked how we met and
said you are such a sweet lady.

Grandpa, what kind of talk is this?
I'll put hot pepper on your lips.

Right, Kahraman?

But she's a bit thin.
A woman should be like a buffalo.

What does he mean by buffalo?

Buffalo. He means

we have this famous dessert in Tokat,
made with buffalo milk.

He says you're as sweet as that dessert.

Oh, grandpa!
You are like buffaloes, as well!

God bless you, grandpa!

Kahraman, she's flirting with him.

Don't marry her.

She's loose, dude.

Did you say loose?

He said don't lose.

He said

she's a free soul he said,
Don't let her get lost.

He told us to get back to work.

Yeah, grandpa's right.
I have things to do at home.

Sure, sure. I'll walk you to your door.

Have a good day, grandpa!

And that's my house.

-It looks nice.
-It is nice.

Are you painting the house?

Yes. I started but I couldn't
finish. School work and stuff.

Kahraman.

We'll take care of it somehow.
Don't you worry. OK?

OK, teacher. I won't.

OK, I'd better leave. Bye.

God bless you, teacher. God bless you.

What the hell are you doing?

Why did you bump heads with her?

You can't put two words together,
but still talking. Why confuse people?

I bumped heads with the woman!

-Take this. Good night, baby.
-Good night.

Girl.

Why doesn't your husband call you?

Did something happen? Is there a problem?

No, mom. There's no problem. He'll call.
He probably didn't want to disturb us.

He was going to come,
but he had things to do.

He could at least share his condolences.

What harm have we done to him?
I'd like to know.

Where is all this coming from?
Are we a burden to you?

If you don't want us, just say so,
and we'll leave.

Get out of my sight!

He's not home either. Where is this guy?

Hello. Welcome to Osman the Imam.
For English, press 9.

What the hell?

Press 1 for deaths, 2 for prayers,

3 for religious weddings,
4 for talismans, and 5 for...

The guy is running a serious business.

Kahraman.

-Oh God. Hodja, I was scared.
-Don't be, son. What's up at this hour?

We need to discuss something.
Do you have a couple of minutes?

-Come in, come.
-Osman!

Şükran. She can feel me coming.

-What's up, Şükran?
-The rent, Osman. It's been seven months.

That long? I'll pay
once I get my paycheck.

-When will you receive it?
-I will.

-The bills. You haven't paid those either.
-Thank you. Have a good evening.

God bless you.

Don't you have free housing?
Why do you rent?

I rent that house out, Kahraman.

It's in the city center and
brings in good money.

Come here.

In the name of God. Come here.

God damn you! Look at that.

Even stadiums don't get this much power.

I'll tap into the power line of the
mosque tomorrow. That'll do it.

In the name of God.

What is that? You put the bill
right next to the holy book.

Don't do that. Religion and state
affairs should be separate.

It just came to me.

For God's sake!
Cut the silly talk. Heretic!

How dare you! Follow me.

In the name of God.

Everybody in the marketplace knows
how hardworking and religious I am.

-Yes.
-I perform ablution with water,

and then, just to make sure,
I repeat it without.

I filed an application to increase

the number of daily
prayers from five to seven.

So?

-You and I have a lot in common.
-Really? Like what?

Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Godliness is yours, cleanliness is mine.

What do you want?
What are you getting at?

Osman. Business is really slow.

Tomorrow, during the Friday prayer,
you could tell the community

to perform ablution in the Turkish bath
for better outcomes or something.

No one is coming to the bath.

Write this song request
on a piece of paper after the prayer.

-Right.
-Send it to me.

-Right.
-Come closer.

You stupid heretic!

You don't request religious statements!

And it's also made up!

What kind of a disbeliever are you,
burning in the flames of ignorance?

What kind of heretic are you?

What if I donate
half the profit to the mosque?

Dear Muslim brothers!

Today's subject is cleanliness.

As you all know,
cleanliness is next to godliness.

Friends, praying as
a community in a mosque

means a thousand more rewards from God.

So does performing ablution
as a community.

Listen to me carefully.

A Turkish bath is
the ideal place for this.

He said bath, man. Is this all your doing?

What is? He's saying something important.
You keep talking nonsense.

Hey, shut up. The imam is looking at us.

Come, wankers, come.
The very best of ablution is here.

I know, you all want to
acquire more graces.

Don't worry. We'll wash each
and every one of you.

By the way, if you have a Bathcard,

there's a discount on
your second ablution. Bathcard.

Cover yourselves properly in there.

We are not responsible for any issues.

Welcome, kids. What happened?
Are you coming from handicraft lessons?

Do you have a student discount?

No way I'll shake that hand!
Go away! No discount for you.

Kiddo, did you have a wet dream?
Go with your friends.

Welcome, Rahmi. Your father is inside.

-I know. I know.
-Guys, look.

If you're a wanker,
you'll end up like this barber.

His father was impure when he made him.

He's the result of
a twisted intercourse. Got it?

I make people laugh even when I'm working.

Everything's a bath of roses here!

Boss, you're on fire today.

Well, it comes naturally. I can't hold it.

What kind of ablution is this?
If God denies it, I'll take my money back.

Tarık, I'll hit you on the mouth and
the nose. Don't stir things up.

OK, everybody, turn your backs.
Get in line. Please.

We're all covered in suds.
Can you take care of this?

The voice is so familiar.

Mahmut, is that you?

Sorry. We have a limited number
of basins. Show some patience.

I have this great idea. Wait for it. OK?

Take this back. Go over there. Off you go.

Alright. Hayri!

Be careful. Apply pressure. OK?
Wash them well. Come on.

Kahraman, I brought the hose.

Give it to me. Go operate the valve, OK?

OK, guys. Everybody come this way!

Get in line. Come, please.
I'll wash you all.

Yes. Water is coming. Grandpa, turn it on!

Kahraman, it's coming!

You heard him. Brace yourselves.

It's not coming.
Grandpa, why isn't it coming?

Kahraman, the water has been cut off!

-What?
-Look, brother.

It's no time for jokes.
We're all covered in suds.

I don't understand.
We paid the bill just last week.

Please, show us the right way.
We can't see anything.

-OK. Don't panic.
-Our eyes are burning!

Everybody, cover yourselves properly.
Don't panic. Don't be ridiculous, guys.

Please! There's no need!

Wait a minute, guys.

There's no need to panic!
The water is taking a prayer break!

I'm joking even now.

This is what happens
when wankers are together.

Guys, wait, don't leave!
Where are you going? Are you crazy?

-Damn it. We've made fools of ourselves.
-Boss, I could only find this much water.

Keep that to wash your mouth full of cr...

-Didn't I tell you to pay the bill?
-You didn't, boss.

Because I trusted you. Jackass!

We'll see how you're going to collect
that money now, masturbather!

I'll beat you this time. For good.

Good morning, grandpa buffaloes.

Moron.

Dude, wipe everything,
and wipe again. OK?

OK, boss.

I don't want a drop
of water from that bath.

Hello.

We've been humiliated.

The imam told us
to perform ablution at the bath

but the bath man's a wanker.

Well, that's the work he does.

Look what he wrote.
"Ablution is our business." Look.

Cemil, leave me alone.
I'm pissed off.

Don't make me rip out
the three hairs you have!

The weather is nice. Enjoy it.
Look, these are your happy days.

Payment day is getting closer.
His highness Mr. Tuncay

will bury you deep in the dark pages
of history along with that bath.

He will! He will indeed!

I couldn't say a word.

-Here, your tea. Enjoy it.
-Thanks, Mahmut.

-What happened?
-What do you think?

I left the bath covered in suds
yesterday, I have a stiff neck now.

-Come on. I'll give you a massage.
-No way. Thanks, but no thanks.

I could give you a massage.

What you do is not
a massage, it's a beating.

You help relax yourself, not us.

Listen to what he says!

Blood vessels could be swollen.
Of course I will be tough.

Mad because of yesterday.

Boss, your hands are not light.

Don't piss me off, Hayri.

Don't make me smash
your face. You spaz!

Boss, that's it!

What? Did you like it?

That's the word. Spa.

-What are you saying?
-I say we open a spa.

How come?

Two Balinese women should be enough.

Balinese. Balinese. Balinese.

Balinese. Balinese. Balinese.

The Balinese. The Balinese are coming.

-To perform Balinese massage.
-What is Balinese?

I can hear you ask what Balinese is.

Let me explain.

Who am I?
I'm your one and only bath man Kahraman.

I have one hell of a surprise for you,
the sweet people of Tokat.

And what's that surprise?

Who wouldn't want to get away from the
hustle and bustle of the city to relax?

I can hear you saying me, me, no, me.

As your brother Kahraman,
I heard your calls

And to our bath, wait for it

I decided to bring
Balinese women to our bath.

The Balinese are coming.

They are coming to make you
as firm as an earlobe.

The Balinese. They're coming.
They're coming. They're coming.

BALINESE

They're not coming.
Hayri, didn't you arrange the girls?

The bus is empty. Why aren't they coming?

Boss, I called the agency. They said
they'd come, but no one came.

I don't know either.

For God's sake!

-Are you Mr. Kahraman?
-Yes, it's me.

-We're here for massages.
-But you're not from Bali.

No, we're not. We're from Balıkesir.

But if you say it fast,
it sounds like Bali.

Balıkesir, Balıkesir, Balıkesir, Bali...

That normally works.

What the hell? This is fraud!
What the hell is Balıkesir?

No shouting!
I'm your mother's age!

I'm sorry. Are you hungry? Let's go eat.

-Brother-in-law!
-Yes?

Aren't the Balinese
supposed to normally have slanted eyes?

Yes.

These are also slanted themselves, because
the earth below is calling for them.

Barber! I'll beat you with the Balinese.
Leave me alone.

Kahraman, what happened?
Is it the big city stress?

Have a massage and relax.

Brother, shut up!
The guy is already depressed.

Sure he is. What did he expect?
He should pull himself together.

This is Tokat. Foreigners don't come here.

Oh my.

Lots of tourists are coming this way!

Oh my. There are blonds too.

Kahraman!

Kahraman!

Hello, teacher. What's up?

-Why are you there?
-Just sitting.

Don't. I brought lots of tourists.

I sent the word out to
my guide friends. Come on.

Oh, God! I could kiss your mouth!
Damn, mouth again.

It doesn't have to be on the mouth.

Since words are coming
out of the mouth. I mean.

Why is there paint on your foot?

What? Paint?

It's not paint. It's art.

I have arthritis in my feet.

Come on, they're waiting for you.

I'm going then. See you.

Whoa.

Boss, if you're ever going to help me,
today is the day.

Please, give me that glove.

When she will ever come to Tokat again?

She's just my type.

A large family could have a picnic on
your belly, and you want to hit on her.

Cut the crap.

No, this won't work out.

Brother-in-law! You're offending me.

There are no curtains
in civilized countries.

There could be some buzz
between me and a European.

If you want buzz, there's that dude.

Go and get buzzed by him.

But be careful.
Don't trip over his extension cord.

That was harsh.

Kahraman! Hand me some more soap!

It's coming!

Kahraman!

OK, good luck.

Girl, listen! That is exactly
the bride I want for my son!

Let's test her.

Oh! Look! My soap fell.
Can you bring it to me?

-Here you are, auntie.
-Thanks dear.

She's elegant like a gazelle.

I'll talk to her parents
about the marriage.

Go and find out who she is. Go!

You also dropped this soap. Here.

Thank you.

She's about to kick the bucket,
but she thinks she's a blushing bride!

This bath is really good.

-Yes, totally.
-So this is your...

-Cemil, faster! Run faster!
-I'm running, sir. I'm running.

But the four-legged one keeps outrunning
me. It's because it's a horse perchance!

Also, from this angle,
its face is outshining yours.

It's because you're Cemil perchance!

He says perchance.

Nice burn, Mr. Tuncay.
Give me hell, I deserve it!

Of course you do. All my men
go to that bath behind my back.

If I let him, even this horse would go.
What's up?

Sir, the bath man who lacks dignity
put a foreign player in the game.

Don't worry about it.
It's just a makeshift solution.

Don't shake Cookie!

I'm terribly sorry, sir.
I'm sorry, dear Cookie.

-Your Cookie is so nice.
-Cemil, I've had enough.

-Seal this deal already.
-Don't you worry, sir.

He thinks he can turn things
around with two tourists

but I'll cause him such serious trouble

that he won't be able to
pick up the pieces.

I'm so furious! Seriously!

Don't get in front of the horse!
He is startled!

Dear Kahraman.
The first payment has been made.

-Pay the rest, and it's over.
-I hope to, Mr. Manager, I do.

My wife asked for your mother's
halva recipe but she couldn't get it.

Let's take care of that.

-I'll ask her.
-Don't forget, OK?

OK, Ahmet! Enough with the halva!

Let's not wait until the next funeral.

We've just paid
the first installment. Oh, God!

Oh, sorry. That was too much.

But it's better than bumping heads, right?

There was no need to tire yourself.
I would be fine by myself.

You've done a lot for me.
Carrying two bags is nothing.

It's the least I could do.

Let's celebrate the first payment.
Let's eat Tokat kebab tonight.

I can't. I'm a vegetarian.

Get well soon.

No, it's not a disease. I don't eat meat.

-What? You never eat meat?
-No, never.

-When you're alone, at home?
-I just don't eat meat.

Good God. Teacher, you're so weird.
I mean it. You're one of a kind.

-Hello.
-One kilo, please.

Sure, right away, ma'am.

Forget about the kebab now.
I'll take you somewhere else tonight.

Here you are, ma'am. Straight away.

And here is a peach for this lovely lady.

Give it to your mom!

I'm giving it to my mom,
and I'm also giving it to my dad.

Have you seen anything like this, ma'am?

It's so pulpy. Look at it.

I washed it with
my own hands. Eat it. Here.

-Here.
-Thanks.

-It's really good. Do you want some?
-Give it to your mom! Enjoy, I mean.

-I love peaches. Give me one kilo.
-Right away.

Are you sure? It's really good.

Did your midwife also like peaches?

My midwife? I don't know her.

What about your extended family members?

Kahraman, why are we talking about
my relatives? I don't get it.

I mean, to get to know them.
I have things to say to your father.

Can you hold this?

Hello? Yes.

It'll be better if you come to the school.

Yes, I wanted you to call but

Yes.

-The man fell down.
-He passed out.

What a posture.

That's enough laughter, teacher.

Kahraman, you could have told me
that you have peach phobia.

It's your mom. Please stop it. Please.

Don't even say its name. I cringe.

I won't say it again. Really.

Do you know him?

Small town, everyone knows everyone.

So you come to folk cafe frequently?
I haven't been here for a long time.

So you like folk music?

Of course. I like listening to it
and I like people who listen to it.

My grandfather always said

that folk music lovers
won't do you any harm.

He's right.

That Tuncay jerk seems to not listen.

He's playing with bread.

You love the marketplace
and the bath a lot, right?

Of course I do.

I was 10 when I first
put on the bath gloves.

Other children floated rubber ducks,
I floated bowls in the basin.

I fed myself in that bath.
I washed my face in that bath.

I grew up in that marketplace.
I made friends there.

-You know.
-You fell in love, maybe.

No way. I'm not good at that.

Really? Why not?

Why would I need it?
It always ends in pain.

Have you ever seen anyone
who is happily in love? No.

And folk music is always sad.

Writing songs requires
suffering, it seems.

Songs are sad. Love is sad.

So, folk music means love.

Oh, Kahraman.

You love them.
That's why I made that connection.

Dear folk music lovers.

I now invite my dear friend
with whom I sang folk songs in school

Mr. Kahraman.

No way. I can't do it.

If folk music means love,
there's no escape, you have to do it.

It's important to sing.

Let's hear it for Mr. Kahraman, please!

When your heart's a mountain
Under the thunderstorms

Life slips away from me, secretly

When you find love in a quiet place

It breaks my heart, my love
My love, my love

Come to me, secretly

Boss, I want to go to the
barber and get a decent haircut.

Hayri, shut up before I beat you.
Forget about the barber. Mine is proper.

Good day.

Good day.

-Are you Kahraman Sabuncu?
-Yes, it's me.

I'm Hamza Sever, the head of the
Bath Inspection Committee.

-I am from the mayor's office.
-Yes.

I'll inspect the bath.

What is this?

It's a towel.

-This is not clean.
-What do you mean?

It still has the taste of a human.

Hayri, this man is crazy.
He licked the towel.

Boss, you stand back. I'll handle this.

This water has expired. It's rotten.

-It seems he was born in a bath.
-Dude, give it a break.

And what is this?

Arabic soap.

It says it's not an Arab.

See what my punch says, you mangy prick!

OK, sir.

I'm closing this bath on grounds of poor
conditions and attacking a public servant.

Mr. Tuncay is going to love this.

We've got a sealed but we've
got it out of our system. Right?

-Hayri, come here.
-Yes, boss?

My system still has it.

You didn't eat any fruit.
You should. It has vitamins.

I ate my brains out!
It has a lot more vitamins in it.

-Now how am I supposed to find the money?
-Don't worry, dear. You'll find a way.

Oğulcan!
Are you peeing from up there again?

Do you want me to spank you again?

Great grandpa is in the bathroom.
What else could I do? I had to pee.

You might as well have peed
in our mouths! Naughty boy.

Everyone is weird in this family.
I have enough problems of my own!

Oğulcan, my dear.
Come here, I'll tell you something.

Oğulcan, stop! Don't run away!

Mom!

Was it the right time for this when
we have so much going on? Catch him!

Boss, I'm exhausted.

-Shall we shoot him with a tranquilizer?
-He is not a cow on the loose.

Look at that bastard! He took flight.

Come down! Suppose
we bought you from the store

but you have the alarm on. We'll
cut the alarm and let you go. Come.

I won't. You'll hurt me.
Don't come or I'll spit on you.

Don't come down,
Oğulcan. It'll hurt a lot.

Some use a knife, some use an axe,
some rip it off.

-Mother!
-It hurts so much! It stinks!

Damn you, barber!
Why are you riling him up?

I feel compelled to mess with you.

If he doesn't come down,
I'll have yours cut instead.

Cemil was my first client when I got
into the circumcising business.

I had terrible skills back then.
It was like I had two left hands.

Mr. Cemil almost became Ms. Cemil.

There must be nothing left to cut.

What are you talking about, Tanju?

-It grew a lot in adolescence, you know?
-Cut the nonsense.

Oğulcan, my dear.

-Imam, say something to him.
-In the name of God.

Oğulcan, my dear boy. Come down, please.

You'll hurt yourself. Get down.

Aren't you a Muslim?
Every Muslim man has to be circumcised.

This is a requirement. Don't throw rocks!

Are you an infidel? Are you a disbeliever?

Are you an atheist? You heretic!
I will fu... Get down here!

-Stop. OK.
-Give me a rock!

Why is manhood conditional?
I don't want that kind of manhood.

Manhood is a nice thing.

There's circumcising and the
military service, and nothing more.

Why are you being so stubborn?
You'll feel relieved.

Don't say that.
Being a woman is more privileged.

The only trouble is
pregnancy. And it's optional.

But, look

women have their
specific days every month.

But now, women have the right to reply.

Let's have a live connection
with our Ankara studios. Dear God!

Look here, Oğulcan!
That wiener will be cut!

Dude, it's not a wiener. It's a willy.

It's a willy before it's cut.
Then, a wiener.

When it grows more...

Alright, Kamil. Thanks. We're enlightened.

Why are you torturing me to make me a man?

Are you trying to fool me or what?

I don't want circumcision
or military service.

Oğulcan. Son, we've all been there.

-Nothing will happen. Just a tiny cut.
-Like that.

Yeah, right! Prove it!

For God's sake!

Come here!

Congratulations, brother.

Thanks, brother.

Thanks for coming.

Congratulations.

-Thanks.
-Thanks.

Son, get well soon. Come on.

-Kahraman.
-Well done.

Welcome.

Welcome, teacher.

Hello. Let me introduce you guys.

This is Özgür.
He's a lawyer from Istanbul.

-From Istanbul.
-Hello.

Welcome.

Özgür, Kahraman is the friend
I told you about, he owns the bath.

-Really? Glad to meet you, Mr. Kahraman.
-Me too.

Kahraman, Özgür has some wonderful ideas.

It'd be great if we could talk tomorrow.
What do you think?

OK. I have some wonderful ideas of my own.

I thought about it all.
We'll do something tomorrow.

I'll tell you about it.

Ms. Bahar, this place is known for halay.
Let's halay together. Come on!

-Can you hold this?
-Sure.

Come on.

We caused you a lot of trouble.

Don't say that, Mr. Kahraman.
What trouble?

I do whatever Bahar asks me to do.
She's so special to me.

It's over. Thank God.

Why did you insist on circumcision

while we are dealing with all these?

If you want an engagement party or a
wedding, say before we clean this all up.

This is why I insisted, my dear.
The jewelry that came as gifts.

Another payment is completed.

Don't be ridiculous. What's that?

It's the child's future. Forget that!

-I won't.
-You will.

I say take it. Kahraman!

You'll pay me back even more.

Take this. I say take it.

Sister, for God's sake.

Kahraman.

Sister, I'll pay it back. I mean

Let my brother-in-law know too.

I already told him.

He told me to give it to you.
He said it would help.

When he has the money,
he'll pay you back, he said.

Kahraman is your brother
and mine as well, he said.

We're a family, he said.

He really said a lot.

God bless both of you.
What else can I say?

Mom, I'm going to go cash these in.

You could at least eat
something before you go.

I should take care of this first.

You flee from Istanbul
without even asking me

then circumcise my son.
Who did you ask?

Zafer, stop yelling! People will hear us!

-Shut up.
-Uncle?

Don't piss me off! Cough it up!

Welcome.

Well, I'm not welcome.

Zafer, this is not the place.

Shut up. Don't make me smack you.

What's going on?
What are you talking about?

Circumcise my son without asking

and you take all the jewelry.
Not good, Kahraman. Not good.

But my sister said she told you.
Right, sister?

Kahraman, I filed for divorce
in Istanbul before I came here.

I couldn't tell you guys.

I made a mistake, sweetheart.
It's human nature.

We couldn't make it work.
Otherwise, why would I get divorced?

Don't say that.
If it doesn't work, divorce.

OK, give me the money,
and I'll accept the divorce.

And you can get rid of me.

Sister, go home.

-Kahraman.
-Sister, go home.

Kahraman, look. Don't piss me off.

I am in the red.
Armed men are looking for me.

Give me the money, or else

-Or else what?
-I won't get divorced.

I spoke with the lawyer.
It's not over until I say so.

And I'll gain custody of Oğulcan.

Zafer, take it and leave.

If I ever see you
near my sister or Oğulcan,

I swear I'll beat the crap out of you
in the middle of this city.

Get the hell out of here!

OK. Then it's done.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome, my dear.

Kahraman!

Come here.

-Hi.
-Hello.

Welcome. I've got great news for you.
Take a look at these.

No, thanks. It's no longer necessary.
My sister helped me.

We paid off the mortgage.
But I decided to sell the bath.

What do you mean by that?

Are you kidding me?

No. It seemed reasonable.
Who are we to stand up to that man?

The community wants this, too.
It's the better thing to do.

Kahraman, I don't get it.

You said that bath meant a lot
and you grew up there.

We've been working so hard.

Is there something I need to know?

There isn't anything you don't know about.

It felt better this way.
I apologize for the inconvenience.

Thank you, Mr. Özgür.

-Özgür, I'm so sorry.
-Don't worry, my dear.

Take this. Take it.

Brothers! Have you seen Kahraman?

-No, Bekir.
-No. What's up?

When I last saw him, he had gone
to trade in the jewelry for cash.

It turns out that our son-in-law
is a total jackass.

He took the gold jewelry
from Kahraman and left.

-So?
-What a bastard!

The bath is gone.

I was going to give it to Sümbül.

Don't worry, Bekir.
Mr. Tuncay will give you a place.

-He will.
-He has a good heart.

Screw him and his heart!

-What happened, Cemil?
-That prick has defrauded us all.

-What are you saying?
-What are you talking about?

When I found out
the bath couldn't pay off the debt

I went to give him the good news.
He won't give us anything.

-No money, no stores.
-What are you saying?

Do you hear what you are saying?

Cemil, look. I'll kill you!
You said the man ate caviar!

He gave us peanuts,
made us sign the contract

and promised to pay the rest later.
Have I lost my shop?

Kamil, Mahmut. Sit down, please. Sit down.

It's not just your shops.
We've all lost our shops!

We've all lost our shops!

-What are you talking about?
-Listen to yourself!

-This is not a time for joking.
-You see? My boss told you so.

It seems Kahraman was right all along.

Look, brother.
What's going to happen now? Tell me.

-I have an idea.
-What is it?

Didn't that jackass take our shops
by fooling us into signing papers?

-Yes.
-Yes.

And we will take back what is ours.

How?

I know all the nooks and
crannies of that prick's house.

We can do it. We can find the papers.

-Are you in?
-We're in!

-Are you in?
-We're in!

-Are you in?
-We're in!

Bekir! Hayri!

Gear up, my heroes!
We're going on a mission!

I made tea.
You can drink it during the stakeout.

I was saving this
for our first night together.

It's a very special kind of syrup.

I used the power of science and made
this for you. It's a remote stun gun.

You aim at someone, and it shocks them,
makes them pass out.

Kamil, how does this work?

Impressive.

What the hell are you doing?

-Take this.
-Kamil.

It's an anesthetic.
I use it for larger operations.

If you inject it all, he'll pass out.

If you inject half of it,
he'll get high. Be careful.

Thanks, Tanju. Give us your blessings.

Done.

Goodbye.

Oh, dear Tokat.

Neither you or I are great.

What am I supposed
to do without the bath?

-Sir, you want tea?
-Give me the whole teapot.

-Brother, that's not how we work.
-Just leave it and get lost!

If I ended up in a desert, they'd send
help from the North Pole!

Insufficient credit. Add credit...

To hell with your credits!

You won't stop calling, mom!

There's a reason why I'm not picking up.
Yes, mother?

Grandpa? Tuncay?
What are you talking about?

OK, hang up. Bye.

Family full of action movie stars!

WARNING
BEWARE OF DOG

Look. That is the study.
The vault is in that room.

Are there any lights on?

-No.
-So, there's no one in there.

Bekir, you distract the guards.
We'll enter through the basement.

OK, don't worry. Consider it done.

Good luck!

Give this old man a hand! I'm so sick!

Help me, please!

What's wrong, geezer?

I'm too old.

Do you have any extra pills?

Stop shaking like jelly!
You're such a pussy!

Of course I am.

Fat people are the first to die.

Man up! Man up, fat fuck!

You wait here.
I'll look around and come back.

Here, take this. Hold it.

If you see anyone suspicious,
don't hesitate to stab them.

Hayri, what are you doing?

-Boss. What have I done?
-What happened?

Are you guys OK?

We're fine. Bring us a melon
to eat. Then we're done.

Do you want anything?

-Yes, haydari please.
-Some haydari for my brother.

Why are you standing up? Come this way.

Let's find a table and sit.

Once I knew that it was impossible...

Guys, what are you doing?

Hayri, you know this man? He's a real man.

The beauty of his heart
shines upon his face.

Cemil, remember that
gaze of yours? Do that please.

Like this?

That's it. What a charismatic man!

I love you, man!

I love you so much, Kahraman.

I swear to God, I love you so much.

Let me have a good look at you, dear.

For God's sake.
You're a great man, Kahraman.

Kahraman, I really wanted
to come to your bath house.

I felt dirty without you, Kahraman.

You just come, and I'll bath you up

What the hell?

It's probably a cat. Never mind.

Man, help the grandpa!

Quiet! They'll hear us!

So be it. I'm in love, man! I'm in love!

Does this thing shoot blanks?

Give us one for the road, chief.

What are you guys doing here?

What kind of waiter is this?

-They are guards.
-Guards of melons?

I just came up with that.

He says guards.

-Guards.
-Guarding a melon!

Guards. Guards.

Kahraman, I'm crazy about your jokes.

But I couldn't laugh at any of them.
Let me laugh a little now.

Guards! Oh, I'm so tired.

-Barber! What are you up to?
-Nothing.

If this is because you think we're single

the ladies are waiting for us outside.
I can just give them a call.

Dude, don't worry.
We come to this bar all the time.

Isn't Hakan here? Hakan!

Shut it!

Dude! Behave yourselves!
Don't make me walk all over you!

Boss!

He went through a lot.
I feel so sorry for him.

Wait quietly here until
Mr. Tuncay arrives.

Then we'll take care of you.

I feel short, shrunken
and curved to the left.

It must be because of Tanju's stuff.

But you know what's nice?
You patched things up when you were high.

Who? Patch what up?
That was a one-night thing.

As if I was crazy for you, Cemil!

Whose stupid idea was this?

He is absent today. He couldn't make it.

-Tuncay's wife, Şenay.
-Narrow-minded idiots.

You need a better plan. Kidnap me.

No way.

You'll kidnap me and demand a ransom.

I'll get the money,
and you'll take the contracts.

Ma'am, what are you saying?
You don't even know us.

-There are all kinds of us.
-Don't be ridiculous.

The kidnapping must look real.

No one can know
that I helped you. Be careful.

-What can we do?
-I don't know. Wrap a rug around me.

Good idea.

Dude, what the hell
have you gotten me into?

Idiots. Is this how you rug a person?

Did you expect us to carry you?

You're thin, but you're still heavy.

-It must be because of your big bones.
-Idiot.

Follow me. Here is clear.

No, it's not! It's filthy. Go back!

What the hell are you doing here?

Brother, we had headache.

It's claustrophobic.
It must be because of that.

We thought we could get some fresh air.

Do you have a lighter?

I do. Shall I light it?

Well done, boys. Just in time.

Do you think kidnapping me is easy?

Now what?

Idiots. Where do you think you are?

Leave those kids alone,
or you'll see what I do to you.

Grandpa, what are you doing?
For God's sake!

So grandpa was involved too. Take him.

Wait a minute, dude.
Don't do it, man. He's an old man.

Is that a woman next to you?

Kahraman, for God's sake, call
her husband. Let's get it over with.

OK. Hayri, give me my phone.

Why did you bring the dog?

-I thought she'd want to take it.
-Yeah, right! I am crazy for it!

I was just taking it out for a piss.

Shame on you. Look how cute it is.

Quit acting stupid. Give me the phone.

Here.

I was out of credit.
Anyone have any credit?

-I'm out, too.
-My battery died.

Boss, should we text him?

Do that. Don't forget to put a smiley.

Ma'am, can we use your phone?

OK, here. Don't ask for anything
less than 500. Be careful.

OK. I suck at smart phones.

Cemil, take the turn here.

How are you, Mr. Mayor?

Did you get along with Ms. Pervin?

Sure, sure. Pervin's our crown jewel.

Excuse me, sir. Sorry.

Hello?

Tuncay? This is Kahraman.

Why didn't you pick up for hours?

What if there is an emergency?
We've kidnapped your wife.

Oh, really? God bless you.
I was going to get divorced anyways.

-How come?
-What does he say?

That he was going to get divorced anyway.

What? God bless you?

God damn him!

Don't say things like that to each other.

Breaking up a family is easy.
Keeping it together is hard.

Didn't you love her at all?

-Kahraman, what are you doing?
-I pity him.

Dude, are you the father of this woman?

-You have to demand a ransom.
-OK.

Tuncay, what do you say? Name the
price. We'll find a common ground.

I won't pay a dime for...

Cookie? Is that Cookie?

-Did you take it as well?
-Yes, it's here as well.

Please don't do anything to it.
Tell me, how much do you want?

Well, we thought 500.000 liras.

And you'll bring us those contracts.

-We'll tear them apart.
-OK, fine.

Just let me know when and where.

Come here then. Let's meet in Çınariçi.
But don't you dare call the police!

Or we'll release your dog.

And we'll attack your wife!

Don't get nasty. Not like that.
I mean, we'll beat her.

Of course we won't. She's a woman.

But we can pull her hair. That hurts!

Kahraman, she's running
out of credit. Cut it short.

-Make sure you come alone.
-Sure. Just you and me.

Cut it short. Hang up already.

You hang up.

-You hang up.
-No, you hang up.

-You first.
-No, you.

Dude, hang up!

Mr. Tuncay. Now, we finally meet.

-Show me the money and the contracts.
-Show me my dog.

What? The dog? God damn you!

So I'm not as dear as your dog!

Cookie, darling! Oh, daddy's cutie pie!

Oh, oh. Did they make you sad?

-Oh my.
-Did you miss daddy?

Did these poor men fail to feed you?

I got what I wanted. The deal is off.

No way. That's what you think. Guys!

-You didn't really think I'd come alone?
-Tricks of the East. I love it.

Guys.

What the hell?

Dude!

Dude, they keep coming.

I lost count after 16, Cemil.

Did you see the last one, Kahraman?
Next to the Kangal dog.

Showing a dog from Sivas
to a man from Tokat is a serious insult.

Don't be scared, dude.
If you get scared, it bites.

Where were we?

Do you think you can scare us with that?

You succeeded.

Oh my.

I don't feel my belly.

Because I wasn't scared,
it bit me the most.

Cemil, they beat us up real bad.
My spleen hurts.

Those guys totally tenderized our meat.

That mutt hit me on my sciatic nerves.

I wish I had more syrup.

You're getting out.
Mr. Tuncay didn't press charges.

It turns out he's still
got some humanity left.

Not really. He wants you to watch while
the marketplace is demolished.

Just to be a jerk.

So he's tearing it down.

Hayri, where's your boss?

He said he has things to do.
I guess he couldn't take it.

Come on, Cookie. Let's watch the poor.

Look at me, big shot!

You can't talk to us however you like.
First, you should grow a pair!

If you had balls, you would beat us
with your heart and your fists

not with your money and your bulldozers!

Please don't say that.
Why are you talking like an anarchist?

-Shut up!
-Let's just listen to the man.

Mr. Tuncay, you know about those
lodging houses next to the mosque.

If you enclosed them in the premises,
it would go on for miles.

Imam, shut up.

Crooked dog, heretic owner.
Stupid atheist! Do as you like.

Tear this place down!

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute. Excuse me.

-It's not that easy, Mr. Tuncay.
-Why not?

These men are with
the Council of Monuments.

We've been looking for the layouts

-we finally found them.
-So?

It turns out, one of the tourists
who came to the bath is an archaeologist.

He informed us about the statue he saw.

And when we investigated it, we realized

Mecburiyet Marketplace is built
on an Ancient Roman temple.

And the contractor placed the dug
pieces all over the marketplace.

That very statue is from that era as well.

As a result, the committee has decided
to put this place under protection.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

So Cookie Willy won't be
able to tear this place down?

-He won't.
-No way!

It's mine. I'll do whatever I like.

Historical or not, no shops for you.

Wait a second.

Would you like to
discuss this with your wife?

Suppose you outsmarted us. But what
about her? She spoke to the police chief.

Your confiscation of the bath

the tricks you pulled with the mayor.

We couldn't get enough
of her stories about you.

When I realized how little you cared
about me, I told them everything.

Mr. Tuncay, you are
under arrest for bid rigging.

What bid? What rigging?
What are you talking about?

The police is our crown jewel.
Officer, please let him...

-Take them.
-Mayor, sort it out.

Take them.

Don't be silly! This is not possible!

It is. It's perfectly possible.

It may be possible in different ways.

-Like this.
-For God's sake!

Or like this. We can show you
all together if you like.

For God's sake. Kahraman, don't.

-One, two
-We're ready.

-Three.
-Take it!

-Cookie! Cookie!
-Take them.

Cookie! Cookie!

We crushed them!

Enough, Bekir. We had too much syrup.

It might do us harm.

Don't worry, my dear Sümbül.
We finally got married.

I am going to love you
for the rest of my life.

I mean for three or four years.

Let me hug you.

What is it, Bekir?

The syrup is kicking in.

Come on, I'll show you
the back of the fort.

You are a crazy one!

Come on.

Dear guests. Let's take
our kids off the stage.

We invite all couples to the stage.

Ms. Gülten?

Yes?

Would you like to dance with me
and make my poor heart smile?

Alright.

I thought you sold the bath.
You gave the jewels to Zafer

Why did you lie to me, Kahraman?

It's not like that. I didn't lie to you.
There was no need.

I didn't want to upset you, that's why.

Bahar, I'm leaving now. Alright, dear.

Özgür, thank you so much.
If it weren't for you, we'd be lost.

You're welcome.
It was nice meeting you.

-Thanks for coming.
-See you later.

Send my love to Mehtap.
Kiss the children for me.

OK, dear. Mehtap sends her best as well.

Wait a minute. Mehtap, kids.
What? Are you married?

Yes, Bahar introduced us.
Bahar is the reason of my happiness.

Dude, the fact that you are
married is wonderful news! It's crazy!

We couldn't entertain you properly.

-No, thanks. Seriously.
-For God! You didn't eat anything.

-I really have to go.
-What did you eat today?

I really have to go. Thank you so much.
My bus is leaving soon.

OK, look. This visit doesn't count.

You'll come with your wife and kids.

-OK.
-Promise?

-Promise.
-And also for the bath.

-Will you do that?
-Yes.

OK. See you then.

Look! If you break
her heart, I'll beat you.

-OK.
-Go ahead.

-OK, take care.
-See you. Goodbye.

Marriage is a wonderful thing!

See that sparkle in his eyes?

I mean, when a friend
is happy, you are happy too.

Well, happiness.
One feels like dancing out of it.

-Shall we dance?
-Sure. OK.

Come on.

We made him work for us,
and now he's leaving. I feel bad.

Don't worry. He can come back with Mehtap.

Of course. I hope he does.
I liked him a lot.

His heart should pure because his face is.

My hands are sweaty. Sorry.

-I hope you don't mind.
-No.

Bahar.

Bahar.

You entered our lives
just like the spring, teacher.

Really?

Yes. I mean, It's like,
how should I put it?

Sometimes, you feel like you can do
anything for someone.

That's exactly the way I feel about you.

Anything?

Anything.

So you'll eat peach.

Give it to your mom! Oh, please.

-Why now?
-Calm down!

You were too serious.
I wanted to make a joke.

But this is not the time.
Please don't use that word.

Which word? Peach?

But, please. Why are you doing this?

OK. I won't say peach ever again.

Let your mom say it! Your mom!

Life is so good.