You Never Know Women (1926) - full transcript
A love triangle in a circus troupe,
You Never Know Women
I think I can do this sort
of thing better than you
Can I take you anywhere?
Here's something to put
aside for a rainy day
The little Theatre
Alexei Chekoff
presents
The world Famous Russian Troupe
JANOVA-NORODIN
COMPANY
direct from
THE IMPERIAL VAUDEVILLE OF MOSCOW
FIRST AMERICAN TOUR
Let the audience wait. We
can't begin without Vera.
Oh, Ivan, I was nearly killed ~a
gentleman saved me just in time ~
Ridiculous, isn't it?
TOBERCHIK
Russia's foremost clown
in
BARRELS OF FUN
Vera, I don't know what
we would do without you.
You're just like a mother
to all of us.
I cannot stop thinking about that accident.
You might have been killed...
But I wasn't, Ivan ~ so
you must not worry ~
Vera, if anything should
happen to you...
I don't know what I would do.
Ivan, you are getting sentimental again.
It was clumsy of me not to
save your umbrella too.
Will you be gracious enough to accept
this one in its place. Mr. Eugene Foster
He was fascinating ~
so gallant.
Ridiculous, isn't it?
Russia's sovereign conjurers
VERA JANOVA and
IVAN NORODIN in
Feats of Magic
IVAN NORODIN in
His Greatest Innovation
A Triple Escape from
Manacles - Sealed Chest - and water
Ladies and gentlemen! We ask
your closest attention to
Mr. Norodin's most difficult
and dangerous act.
So that ther may be no
suspicion of fraud, I ask the
co-operation of several
gentlemen from the audience.
Scientific experiments have
proved that no human being
can remain alive under water
for more than three minutes.
One minute!
Two minutes!
Three minutes!
Every time you do that trick ~I hold my
breath ~until my heart almost stops!
How much do they pay you
for being rude to people?
I'll pay you just twice
as much to be nice to me
I must thank you for
sending me that lovely
umbrella, but I don't
think I should accept it.
I've a feeling that we're
going to be friends. Couldn't
we have supper together
after the performance?
I was just suggesting that
Miss Vera and her friends
in the company take
supper with me tonight.
We never accept invitations for after
performance. But if Miss Janova cares to go...
I must hurry and dress for the finale!
A few nights later ~ The theatrical hotel
where the troupe lives like one big family.
CAT
Doq
LOVE MAGIC AND OTHER VERSES
What could she know or tell
Of life, its rapture and its miracle?
Till Love had made her rise
And by his magic opened wide her eyes.
I had some business to discuss
with your manager tonight.
Of course, I couldn't leave
here without seeing you.
I want everybody to be nice
to Mr Foster. He's rich
and influential ~ a very
valuable friend to have.
You know, I can't help feeling that it was fate, more
than accident, that brought about our first meeting.
Mr Foster has offered ten
thousand dollars if we'll
give a performance at his
home next Sunday night!
You look and act more like
our goose every day! Take
his money if you want to~I
don't care what you do!
[RUSSIAN TEXT]
~and for the past few days, I've been
wondering if you really like me.
Oh, I do like you! You
are so light-hearted~so
different from all the
men I have known.
Shall I finish reading the love poems?
Till love had made her wise
And by his magic opened wide her eyes.
Ivan, does love really come like
that ~as swift and sudden as magic?
Yes, Vera, love comes
like that ~ sometimes.
You are beginning to see at last! He
loves you ~he has always loved you!
The dinner-party at Foster's home.
That was just to prepare you something
unusual in the way of entertainment.
I've engaged the famous Janova-Norodin
company for the evening.
Say, Foster, pick out a little brunette
for me~ one that speaks English!
I hope you've found everything comfortable.
If there's anything further I can do...
You're going to far, Olga! Don't
forgret~even a worm will turn.
I think I can do this sort
of thing better than you.
She'll be all right in a few minutes.
Please go on with the diner.
I want you, Vera~ more than
anything else in the world.
Won't you let me give you
the things that you deserve
~the things that will make
your life fuller and happier?
Are you all right, Vera?
Yes, she is quite all right
now ~I was just suggesting
that she rest for a while
in the dressing room.
Rehearsing for a change of program.
Your public exhibition is going to be a big
smash! All the papers are giving us space.
NORODIN WILL RISK LIFE IN THRILLING FEAT
Will plunge into water
Manacled, in sealed box
Famous stage magician asks
public to watch him defy death
Is Miss Vera here?
Vera, when are you going to
let me take you away from
this life? You simply don't
belong in this crowd.
They are my own people.
I love them ~ it would
break their hearts if
I should leave them.
Why not be frank about it? What you mean
is ~you don't want to leave that magician.
You're in love with him, aren't you?
Yes, I do love him ~
but not that way.
Don't you understand? We are all a big
family together ~he is like a brother to me.
What about my happiness? If you loved
me you would think of that first!
If you are ready, Vera, we
will try the new illusion.
You will find her over there.
Let me be ~I am not going! I've seen
enough stupid tricks in my life!
I want to ask you a favor, Vera.
You are always so nervous when
I do this underwater stunt...
Please don't come with us
Then it's dangerous, isn't it?
Now, Ivan, you are getting
sentimental again.
Goodbye, old friend.
Please don't come ~ stay with Vera!
I thought you had gone to
the docks with the others.
Is it so very dangerous, then?
Dangerous? If it were only that ~
You women are all alike! You can goad
a man to death and never realize it!
Did you see his face...
when he said goodbye?
Ladies and gentlemen! We
ask your closest attention
to Mr Norodin's most difficult
and dangerous feat.
Three minutes!
Night finds another audience waiting. Grief
dons a comic mask ~ and the show goes on.
Your tears are for Norodin ~now!
But when you've finished
crying you will follow your
love ~ and forget him!
Sometimes you don't know your
love ~until it is too late.
Glad to see you, sir!
Naturally. It's payday.
Have heard the sad news.
Sincere condolences.
See you after the performance.
Mr Eugene Foster
Ivan ~ Ivan ~ I didn't know ~
I must be quite candid with you, Mr Foster.
I didn't know my own heart ~until today.
I don't love you ~ I never can love you.
You never know women, Dimitri!
When love is right in the same
room with them, they are looking
outside the window for it.
You're not yourself tonight, Vera ~
you don't mean what you're saying.
Please go ~ I want to be alone.
You can't get rid of me so casually,
Vera ~ I'm going to make you love me.
Get out ~or I'll have you thrown out!
Everybody gone?
Ivan, forgive me ~ I didn't
know what I was doing ~
Now be sensible, Vera ~ let's sit
down and talk this thing over.
You'd better try being nice to me!
I've made sure we're
alone ~ even if you scream,
no one will hear you!
Ridiculous, isn't it?
I Have this knife left
I see the point
Good Night!
But, Ivan ~ why did you make
it appear that you were dead?
I wanted to give you a clear
road ~ to the man you loved.
That's just what you've done.
THE END
I think I can do this sort
of thing better than you
Can I take you anywhere?
Here's something to put
aside for a rainy day
The little Theatre
Alexei Chekoff
presents
The world Famous Russian Troupe
JANOVA-NORODIN
COMPANY
direct from
THE IMPERIAL VAUDEVILLE OF MOSCOW
FIRST AMERICAN TOUR
Let the audience wait. We
can't begin without Vera.
Oh, Ivan, I was nearly killed ~a
gentleman saved me just in time ~
Ridiculous, isn't it?
TOBERCHIK
Russia's foremost clown
in
BARRELS OF FUN
Vera, I don't know what
we would do without you.
You're just like a mother
to all of us.
I cannot stop thinking about that accident.
You might have been killed...
But I wasn't, Ivan ~ so
you must not worry ~
Vera, if anything should
happen to you...
I don't know what I would do.
Ivan, you are getting sentimental again.
It was clumsy of me not to
save your umbrella too.
Will you be gracious enough to accept
this one in its place. Mr. Eugene Foster
He was fascinating ~
so gallant.
Ridiculous, isn't it?
Russia's sovereign conjurers
VERA JANOVA and
IVAN NORODIN in
Feats of Magic
IVAN NORODIN in
His Greatest Innovation
A Triple Escape from
Manacles - Sealed Chest - and water
Ladies and gentlemen! We ask
your closest attention to
Mr. Norodin's most difficult
and dangerous act.
So that ther may be no
suspicion of fraud, I ask the
co-operation of several
gentlemen from the audience.
Scientific experiments have
proved that no human being
can remain alive under water
for more than three minutes.
One minute!
Two minutes!
Three minutes!
Every time you do that trick ~I hold my
breath ~until my heart almost stops!
How much do they pay you
for being rude to people?
I'll pay you just twice
as much to be nice to me
I must thank you for
sending me that lovely
umbrella, but I don't
think I should accept it.
I've a feeling that we're
going to be friends. Couldn't
we have supper together
after the performance?
I was just suggesting that
Miss Vera and her friends
in the company take
supper with me tonight.
We never accept invitations for after
performance. But if Miss Janova cares to go...
I must hurry and dress for the finale!
A few nights later ~ The theatrical hotel
where the troupe lives like one big family.
CAT
Doq
LOVE MAGIC AND OTHER VERSES
What could she know or tell
Of life, its rapture and its miracle?
Till Love had made her rise
And by his magic opened wide her eyes.
I had some business to discuss
with your manager tonight.
Of course, I couldn't leave
here without seeing you.
I want everybody to be nice
to Mr Foster. He's rich
and influential ~ a very
valuable friend to have.
You know, I can't help feeling that it was fate, more
than accident, that brought about our first meeting.
Mr Foster has offered ten
thousand dollars if we'll
give a performance at his
home next Sunday night!
You look and act more like
our goose every day! Take
his money if you want to~I
don't care what you do!
[RUSSIAN TEXT]
~and for the past few days, I've been
wondering if you really like me.
Oh, I do like you! You
are so light-hearted~so
different from all the
men I have known.
Shall I finish reading the love poems?
Till love had made her wise
And by his magic opened wide her eyes.
Ivan, does love really come like
that ~as swift and sudden as magic?
Yes, Vera, love comes
like that ~ sometimes.
You are beginning to see at last! He
loves you ~he has always loved you!
The dinner-party at Foster's home.
That was just to prepare you something
unusual in the way of entertainment.
I've engaged the famous Janova-Norodin
company for the evening.
Say, Foster, pick out a little brunette
for me~ one that speaks English!
I hope you've found everything comfortable.
If there's anything further I can do...
You're going to far, Olga! Don't
forgret~even a worm will turn.
I think I can do this sort
of thing better than you.
She'll be all right in a few minutes.
Please go on with the diner.
I want you, Vera~ more than
anything else in the world.
Won't you let me give you
the things that you deserve
~the things that will make
your life fuller and happier?
Are you all right, Vera?
Yes, she is quite all right
now ~I was just suggesting
that she rest for a while
in the dressing room.
Rehearsing for a change of program.
Your public exhibition is going to be a big
smash! All the papers are giving us space.
NORODIN WILL RISK LIFE IN THRILLING FEAT
Will plunge into water
Manacled, in sealed box
Famous stage magician asks
public to watch him defy death
Is Miss Vera here?
Vera, when are you going to
let me take you away from
this life? You simply don't
belong in this crowd.
They are my own people.
I love them ~ it would
break their hearts if
I should leave them.
Why not be frank about it? What you mean
is ~you don't want to leave that magician.
You're in love with him, aren't you?
Yes, I do love him ~
but not that way.
Don't you understand? We are all a big
family together ~he is like a brother to me.
What about my happiness? If you loved
me you would think of that first!
If you are ready, Vera, we
will try the new illusion.
You will find her over there.
Let me be ~I am not going! I've seen
enough stupid tricks in my life!
I want to ask you a favor, Vera.
You are always so nervous when
I do this underwater stunt...
Please don't come with us
Then it's dangerous, isn't it?
Now, Ivan, you are getting
sentimental again.
Goodbye, old friend.
Please don't come ~ stay with Vera!
I thought you had gone to
the docks with the others.
Is it so very dangerous, then?
Dangerous? If it were only that ~
You women are all alike! You can goad
a man to death and never realize it!
Did you see his face...
when he said goodbye?
Ladies and gentlemen! We
ask your closest attention
to Mr Norodin's most difficult
and dangerous feat.
Three minutes!
Night finds another audience waiting. Grief
dons a comic mask ~ and the show goes on.
Your tears are for Norodin ~now!
But when you've finished
crying you will follow your
love ~ and forget him!
Sometimes you don't know your
love ~until it is too late.
Glad to see you, sir!
Naturally. It's payday.
Have heard the sad news.
Sincere condolences.
See you after the performance.
Mr Eugene Foster
Ivan ~ Ivan ~ I didn't know ~
I must be quite candid with you, Mr Foster.
I didn't know my own heart ~until today.
I don't love you ~ I never can love you.
You never know women, Dimitri!
When love is right in the same
room with them, they are looking
outside the window for it.
You're not yourself tonight, Vera ~
you don't mean what you're saying.
Please go ~ I want to be alone.
You can't get rid of me so casually,
Vera ~ I'm going to make you love me.
Get out ~or I'll have you thrown out!
Everybody gone?
Ivan, forgive me ~ I didn't
know what I was doing ~
Now be sensible, Vera ~ let's sit
down and talk this thing over.
You'd better try being nice to me!
I've made sure we're
alone ~ even if you scream,
no one will hear you!
Ridiculous, isn't it?
I Have this knife left
I see the point
Good Night!
But, Ivan ~ why did you make
it appear that you were dead?
I wanted to give you a clear
road ~ to the man you loved.
That's just what you've done.
THE END