William Shatner's Gonzo Ballet (2009) - full transcript

["Together" by William Shatner]

♪ Together

- So, the phone rings

and it's Margo Sappington,
famous choreographer.

She says, "I'd like
to choreograph your
album, Has Been."

And I said, wow.

I haven't danced in years.

["Has Been" by William Shatner]

♪ Has been

I'm sitting in my office.

The phone rings,
literally, the phone rings.



"I'm Margo Sappington
and I'd like to a ballet

"of your album."

- I was listening
to NPR in the car.

There was an interview
with Bill Shatner

about his CD, Has Been,
which had just come out.

I became completely
enthralled with it.

I got it and listened to
it over and over again,

and because there's
so much music

and the music fits so
incredibly into the content

of the songs, of the lyrics,

that I wanted to
do a ballet to it.

I wanted to get
in touch with Bill

and ask his permission to do it.

- I had seen too much
ballet in my life,



too much dance, not to think
of it as a great compliment.

- He said, "Well,
this is intriguing.

"This is so interesting."

- It can't possibly turn out bad

is what I'm thinking.

- Finally, toward the
end of the conversation,

he said, "Well Margot, is
there any money in this?"

- And apparently I said,

well, is there
any money in this?

And she said, "No, no money."

I said great.

- I'm asking your
permission, which means,

can we do it for free?

- Do a ballet of my record?

Are you crazy?

Of course!

- Michael Pink, the director
of the Milwaukee Ballet,

contacted me because he
wanted to revive a ballet

I had done for the company
some years previously,

it was called Virgin Forest.

When he contacted
me, I was very happy

about that prospect,
but also had in mind

to do something new.

- I went to the website,
and I listened to

Has Been, and immediately
thought, what fun,

this is gonna be wacky,
this'll work well.

So really, I didn't
hesitate for a second

to think Margo would
give us a piece

that she has done, a piece
that's very exciting,

very dynamic, great
for the audience,

great for the dancers.

It's a perfect piece.

[William Shatner's
"Common People"]

♪ She came from Greece

♪ She had a thirst
for knowledge ♪

♪ She studied sculpture at
Saint Martin's College ♪

♪ That's where I
caught her eye ♪

♪ She told me that
her Dad was loaded ♪

♪ I said, in that case I'll
have a rum and coca-cola ♪

♪ She said fine

♪ And in thirty
seconds time she said ♪

♪ I want to live
like common people ♪

♪ I want to do whatever
common people do ♪

♪ I want to sleep
with common people ♪

♪ I want to sleep
with common people ♪

♪ Like you

♪ Well, what else could I do?

♪ I said I'll see
what I can do ♪

♪ I took her to a supermarket

♪ I don't know why but I
had to start it somewhere ♪

♪ So it started there

♪ I said pretend
you've got no money ♪

♪ She just laughed and said

♪ Oh you're so funny

♪ I said yeah

♪ Well I can't see anyone
else smiling in here ♪

♪ Are you sure you want to
live like common people ♪

♪ You want to see whatever
common people see ♪

♪ You want to sleep
with common people ♪

♪ You want to sleep
with common people ♪

♪ Like me

♪ But she didn't understand

♪ She just smiled
and held my hand ♪

♪ Like a dog lying in a corner

♪ They'll bite you
and never warn you ♪

♪ Look out

♪ They'll tear
your insides out ♪

♪ 'Cause everybody
hates a tourist ♪

♪ 'Cause everybody
hates a tourist ♪

♪ Especially one who thinks
it's all such a laugh ♪

♪ Yeah and the chip
stains' grease ♪

♪ Will come out in the bath

♪ You will never understand
♪ You will never understand

♪ How it feels
♪ How it feels

♪ To live your life
♪ To live your life

♪ With no meaning or control
♪ With no meaning or control

♪ And with nowhere left to go
♪ And with nowhere left to go

♪ You're amazed
♪ You're amazed

♪ That they exist
♪ That they exist

♪ And they burn so bright
♪ And they burn so bright

♪ While you can only
♪ While you can only

♪ Wonder why
♪ Wonder why

♪ Rent a flat above a shop
♪ Rent a flat above a shop

♪ Cut your hair and get a job
♪ Cut your hair and get a job

♪ Smoke some fags
♪ Smoke some fags

♪ And play some pool
♪ And play some pool

♪ Pretend you never went
♪ Pretend you never went

♪ To school
♪ To school

♪ But still you'll never
♪ But still you'll never

♪ Get it right
♪ Get it right

♪ 'Cause when you're lying
♪ 'Cause when you're lying

♪ In bed at night
♪ In bed at night

♪ Watching roaches
climb the wall ♪

♪ If you called your dad
he could stop it all ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ You'll never live
like common people ♪

♪ You'll never do
♪ You'll never do

♪ What common people do
♪ What common people do

♪ You'll never fail
♪ You'll never fail

♪ Like common people
♪ Like common people

♪ You'll never watch
♪ You'll never watch

♪ Your life slide out of view
♪ Your life slide out of view

♪ And dance and drink
♪ And dance and drink

♪ And screw
♪ And screw

♪ 'Cause there's nothing else
♪ 'Cause there's nothing else

♪ To do
♪ To do

♪ I want to sing with
common people like you ♪

♪ I want to sing with
common people like you ♪

♪ I want to sing with
common people like you ♪

[audience applause]

- When I first meet the dancers

I like to play the music
all the way through

and then explain to them
what it is we're about to do,

what kind of work
we're about to do.

And so I sat them down and,

I put on the music
["Common People"]

and I watch their faces.

♪ Sing along with
the common people ♪

♪ Sing along and it might
just get you through ♪

- With every ballet I
do I have a passage.

Whether it tells one long story

or whether there are storylets

which is the way
I approached this.

With each one being a
little self contained unit

of its own little story.

Each one of those
songs tells a story.

The CD is so personal to Bill
and he wrote these things

as recollections and memories
and reminiscences of his own.

- I was in my first
year out of school

and I was a pretty lonely kid.

Very lonely kid in Montreal

but I didn't know
what loneliness was.

Until you're in a strange city

away from home, homesick
beyond belief wanting something

in this case, to be an actor.

And it's winter and
it's cold in Ottawa

and the snow is falling,

and the sounds of the peace
bells in Canada's capital

were ringing out

and I was crossing

this large lawn, huge field
in front of a peace star.

As I was writing the lyrics
I resonated on that moment

in my most extreme
loneliness in Ottawa

and brought it to
life for myself

in trying to
reproduce the thought

that as much as I yearned

for all the inchoate
things that I wanted,

I still felt it hadn't
happened, even now.

["It Hasn't Happened
Yet" by William Shatner]

♪ I was crossing
the snow fields ♪

♪ In front of the
capital building ♪

♪ It was Christmas
and I was alone ♪

♪ Strange city

♪ Strangers for friends

♪ And I was broke

♪ As the carillons
sang its song ♪

♪ I dreamt of success

♪ I would be the best

♪ I would make my folks proud

♪ I would be happy

♪ It hasn't happened yet

♪ It hasn't happened yet

♪ It hasn't happened

♪ Yes there are nods
in my direction ♪

♪ Clap of hands

♪ A knowing smile

♪ But still

♪ I'm scared again
♪ I'm scared again

♪ I'm scared again

♪ Foot slipped

♪ Devils fall and so did I

♪ Almost

♪ I'm high

♪ On Yosemite

♪ The big gray wall

♪ Fear of falling

♪ Where to put my foot next

♪ Fear of failure

♪ I'm afraid I'm gonna fall

♪ Be at one with the mountain

♪ I whispered in the air

♪ Fear of failure

♪ Failure

♪ Fear of losing my hair

♪ Falling

♪ When is the mountain scared

♪ When do I feel
I haven't failed ♪

♪ I've got to get
it together man ♪

♪ It hasn't happened yet

♪ It hasn't happened yet

♪ It hasn't happened

♪ People come up and say hello

♪ Okay I can get to
the front of the line ♪

♪ But you have to
ignore the looks ♪

♪ And yet

♪ I'm waiting for that
feeling of contentment ♪

♪ That ease at night when
you put your head down ♪

♪ And the rhythm slow to sleep

♪ My heads sways and
eyes start awake ♪

♪ I'm there not halfway
between sleep and death ♪

♪ But looking into

♪ Eyes wide open

♪ Trying to remember

♪ What I might have done

♪ Should've done

♪ At my age I need serenity

♪ I need peace

♪ It hasn't happened yet

♪ It hasn't happened yet

♪ It hasn't happened yet

♪ It hasn't happened

♪ It hasn't happened

- I said pretend
you've got no money.

She just laughed and said,
"Oh, you're so funny."

I said, yeah.

You know, you're speaking this.

I can completely hear
that over the music

and then you say,
"Are you sure?"

After you say,

the sentence is, "Are
you sure you want to live

"like common people?"

You go, "Are you sure," and
then the choir kicks in.

This is bizarre because
you're talking about

a gospel choir singing
with a punk rock band.

I've never heard that before.
- [Man] That's great.

- So it's, are you
sure, and they're like,

♪ You want to live
with common people ♪

And they speak for you.

They're your chorus.

It's going to kick ass.

Bill was, I guess,

offered the opportunity
to make this record

and it was such a clean
slate he didn't know what,

he had no idea what he
was going to do exactly.

- I'm very apprehensive
because I know

that when another record comes
out they're going to say,

"Oh here comes Shatner with
another Transformed Man,

"some weird wacky thing
that we can poke fun at."

I'm a little sore about
being poked fun at.

♪ Hey Mr. Tambourine Man

- Somewhere in the making
of Star Trek, a grip,

a guy,

who ordinarily would have a belt

around his waist

with screwdrivers and
hammers and nails and things,

he's a craftsman.

This guy

was also a musician.

He said, "Why don't we make,"

and we started
talking on the set.

"Why don't we make a record?"

I said, well if we made I
record I could tie the themes

and get the theme and
then use great literature

and put new music to it

and then take
literature that songs,

that had great
lyrics at the time,

and segue from the
literature to the song.

Wouldn't that be a great idea?

["Transformed Man"
by William Shatner]

♪ I turned away from the city

♪ Teaming with desperate
and haggard faces ♪

♪ Away from the peddlers
of hate and vengeance ♪

♪ Away from the clock that
decrees time is money ♪

♪ Away from the arrogant
and infallible ♪

♪ Whose hands are
stained with blood ♪

I did Transform Man
for Decca Records

which was a big record
company at the time

and it was gone.

It disappeared.

It didn't sell particularly well

and didn't get
particularly good notices.

From time to time,

Transformed Man was
trotted out an mopped

because it was a six minute cut,

at least I think
is the reason why.

It may not have been good.

But one other reason is,
it was a six minute cut,

the literature and the lyric.

On radio you play
three minute cuts.

So the choice was,

play the literature with
the music behind it,

play the lyric that I spoke
as I did the literature.

Nobody knew what I was doing.

I thought it would be
obvious but apparently not.

I'm going,

♪ Mr. Tambourine Man

which is a song about drugs.

♪ Fix me

And wait a minute,

that's not the way
what's-his-name sang it.

What's that all about?

It kind of was laughed at.

I was okay.

It was a bad experiment.

- Some of the recordings Bill
has made besides Has Been

are quite well known,
quite remarkable

and like nothing I've
ever heard in my life.

♪ Mr. Tambourine Man

A couple guys asked
for an appointment.

Can they come and see me,
they want to talk to me.

They're sitting in my
office and they're saying,

"We'd like you to do a record."

They had introduced
themselves as the guys

who owned Rhino Records.

Because there had been a
spade of actors doing singing

and some were good and
some were not good.

They took the not
good guys like me and,

Leonard Nimoy,

and they put them all
together in a Rhino Record,

Golden Throats or
something like that.

These guys are saying, "Would
you make another record?"

I know what's on their mind,

they want another Golden Throats

but I don't want to make
another Golden Throats.

I want another attempt,
secretly in the back of my mind,

is I want an attempt
at a theme record.

- What I told him, I
thought that he just needed

to tell stories from his life.

You've got someone
who's in his 70's

who's had a really long
television and movie career

and people know
him for the lines

he has learned that writers
have told him to say.

Essentially you know
him as an actor.

So how interesting would it be
to get a glimpse of his life,

something we hadn't
heard before.

But Bill actually then emailed
me about 50 finished lyrics.

- What I want to do is distill
the experience so that,

find some common connection
with the rest of the world.

Commonality of experience.

I wanted to write
about something

minute

and amplify that into
a universal experience,

see if that can be done.

So that from something so
small that everybody says,

"Oh, I've walked
in that garden,"

and observe or feel
something that they hadn't

that is an observation by you
on a very common experience.

People think, "Oh
wow, I understand

"that experience.

"I understand what he is
doing and I understand that.

"Not him so much, but
I understand that."

That is what I was after.

- That's what the
ballet's about.

It's Bill as every man.

They're all emotions
that everybody has.

They're the same ones.

["Together"]
♪ He says Phoenix

♪ Pegasus

♪ Grecian urn

♪ Midwest turn

♪ So much to learn

♪ Together

♪ Together

♪ She says our souls

♪ Are warm

♪ Lives

♪ Reborn

♪ From hearts

♪ That were torn

♪ Before before

♪ Perform perform

♪ Together

♪ Together they say

♪ A breath renewed

♪ Everyday

♪ With you

♪ Our arms

♪ Are moved

♪ We are not alone

♪ Not unloved

♪ Together

♪ Our souls are warm
♪ Our souls are warm

♪ Lives reborn
♪ Lives reborn

♪ From hearts that were torn
♪ From hearts that were torn

♪ Before
♪ Before

♪ Breath renewed
♪ Breath renewed

♪ Everyday with you
♪ Everyday with you

♪ Our arms our hold
♪ Our arms our hold

♪ We are not alone
♪ We are not alone

♪ Together
♪ Together

♪ Together
♪ Together

♪ Together
♪ Together

♪ We're ready

I spent my college years
with a friend of mine.

I even remember his
name, Brian McDonald,

who was a ballet dancer
who became a choreographer,

a well known choreographer.

Especially in Canada.

He was with a Canadian
ballet company

and I got to see the Canadian
ballet company start to form.

I was enthralled with the ballet

because the ballet has
the same distillation

that poetry has.

It's the distillation of line.

The beauty of the human form.

The grace

of a human line and
then once you see it,

you're forever fulfilled by it.

- Dance is an expression.

It is a language.

Dance is an expressive art.

It's not just about
the athleticism.

The athleticism is something

that leads you to
express something.

Dances can make you cry,
dances can make you laugh.

They can move you in
incredible ways without words

that are extraordinary.

It's a very ephemeral
art form that

is so,

immediate to the human soul
and to the human psyche.

You see something
that is so beautiful

that it makes you cry.

Dancers don't get rich.

They do it because they love it.

It's a hard life and
you really have to,

you really have to love it.

There's a satisfaction
and there's an ecstasy

that you experience as a
performer that's unlike

any other ectasy you
ever will experience.

- When I give myself
onstage I feel like

to the extent of as many
emotions as possible

and it's probably the
most gratifying thing

that I've ever found in my life.

- Margo's history was with
the Joffrey Ballet School.

She was one of the
leading dancers

and the I understand there
was an injury involved

and by that point she had
already started I think,

doing a little bit
of choregraphic work

and it just
escalated from there.

- I was 17 when I was
asked to go to New York

and join the Robert
Joffrey Ballet.

I was there for two years

and then moved onto
dance on Broadway

and started assisting
choreographers like
Michael Bennett.

As a result of my association
with him I was asked to

choreograph Oh!
Calcutta! when I was 21

and also appeared in the show.

As I broke into choreography,

there were very few female
choreographers at the time

who were invited
to do big things.

- She is a wonderful
artist, Margo is.

It was a complete surprise to me

as to how well it turned
out and what Margo did

was use her dancers

to capture the words.

- This is about life.

This is about social personal
things and you should laugh

about certain things and you
know, think about others.

She was really happy to see

that we were not sort
of taken aback by it,

that we were openly going,
what is this going to be like?

- She's definitely very artistic

and she knew what she wanted.

- She brought something out
in me that maybe a confidence

or something that I did
not have before and so,

and I respect choreographers
that make you work like that.

- You can just see how
quickly her brain works

because I can't imagine
doing that much choreography

in the time that she had.

- I put it together
like a jigsaw puzzle

and I tweak it and push it
according to their physicality

and how it looks
from my mind's eye

and my body to their body.

♪ It might just
get you through ♪

♪ Laugh along
♪ Laugh along

♪ With the common people

♪ Laugh along even though
they're laughing at you ♪

♪ And the stupid
things that you do ♪

♪ 'Cause you think
that poor is cool ♪

[sighs]

Ben Folds turns
out to be a genius.

He'd take a look at the lyrics,

he'd start to tinkle
away in a keyboard.

What is he doing?

He'd go through a feeling.

Feeling became a melody line
or it became a character.

He characterized the song.

Wow.

- How did this happen from

a few words to this great

creative

performance art that
gives you that feeling

of love or that feeling
of togetherness.

- Familiar Love is one of
my favorites on the record

and such a, it's such
a great Bill moment

because he's,

he's literally performing
this to his wife

who is sitting right here
in the booth working across

and he's in the vocal booth
and he's just saying it to her.

[laughs]
- Oh no!

X rated song.

Bill that's awesome.
[laughing]

- Familiar Love I
think is my favorite.

It's so tender to me.

And it's so, what a
relationship is about.

["Familiar Love"
by William Shatner]

♪ I know what
she's going to do ♪

♪ And I can't wait
for her to do it ♪

♪ She knows me and I know her

♪ What I hate and
what I prefer ♪

♪ I know her scent

♪ I know her touch

♪ Where to hold her

♪ And just how much

♪ My lady belongs here

♪ And so do I

♪ We know what the truth is

♪ And where to lie

♪ Oh how I love her

♪ Familiar

♪ I've had the
one night stands ♪

♪ Waiting for the
phone to ring ♪

♪ Waiting for the phone

♪ The shakes of anxiety

♪ The flaccid
response to nerves ♪

♪ The hideous revelation
of character ♪

♪ The unfamiliar smell
of breath and skin ♪

♪ Unexpected noises
from within ♪

♪ My lady belongs here

♪ And so do I

♪ We know what the truth is

♪ And where to lie

♪ Oh how I love her

♪ Familiar

♪ But my love is familiar

♪ She knows me and I know her

♪ What I hate what I prefer

♪ I know her scent

♪ I know her touch

♪ Where to hold her

♪ And just how much

♪ My lady belongs here

♪ And so do I

♪ My lady belongs here

♪ And so do I

♪ We know what the truth is

♪ And where to lie

♪ Oh how I love her

♪ Familiar

♪ Sliced apples, almond
butter, and feta cheese ♪

♪ Let's feed the dogs and
send out for Chinese ♪

♪ Watching moves on the
TV and fall asleep ♪

♪ Arms wrapped around

♪ So happy

♪ We weep

♪ Yeah Lizzy that's for you

♪ Oh I know I love that

- I'm from the rock
and roll generation

and so are lots of the
directors of companies,

ballet companies today.

They want to include the culture

that's part of their
generation in the ballet

and in the art
form that they do.

I like to work with popular
music and I like to work

with music that an audience,

that will draw an
audience to the ballet

maybe for the first time.

- [Man] At first when I heard
the music I was like, whoa,

this is something else.

- I remember the first day
when Margo had thrown it on

and we're all like,
are you kidding me?

This is going to be great,

this is going to
be fun, you know?

- Bringing popular music
into the ballet world

and it was something
that I was pushing for

because I thought it
was very important

to bring young people

in to the ballet and make
them come to the ballet.

It wasn't just about
Tchaikovsky, and
Mozart, and Bach.

It was about music that
they knew and understood.

- I mean, I think that
the marriage of the two,

classical technique and
some modern influence

along with pop music
is a really great blend

and I get really inspired by it.

- There's a lot of
choreographers today

who are using popular music.

I saw a piece with music by
Rufus Wainwright recently

and it worked tremendously well.

People have used the Beatles,

they've used the Rolling Stones.

- As far as the audience goes,

I think there's so much
more they can relate to

if they don't know
classical music that well

or if they don't know
ballet, all of a sudden

it's this thing where they
can actually hear lyrics

and they can relate
to that as well

as just relating to the
movement that they see.

- With the movements they're
changing, the movements

are becoming more modern

and we're mixing modern
and ballet together

with a ballet based technique

and bringing things up to date.

Bringing things forward.

- When you look at Margo's piece

using William Shatner's
words and Ben's music,

you think this could
be the future of dance.

Injuries are very common.

I mean this is a
sports industry.

One of our dancers injured
herself in the dress rehearsal.

- At the final dress, the dancer
who was dancing Ideal Woman

hurt her shoulder during one
of the lifts and was able

to continue to perform
the rest of the ballet

but not this particular piece.

Jackie who was her understudy
stepped up to the plate

and was the one who
ended up having to do

the performances of Ideal Woman.

We had to work in the
theater, we had no chance

to go back to the
studio to rehearse.

She had to do all her
rehearsals onstage.

She had done all
the lifts separately

but she'd never done them
together in a sequence

one after the other
and they come off fast.

They're really one
after the other.

She took a deep breath

and did what dancers
are supposed to do.

She stepped up to the plate
and she hit a home run.

♪ I want you to be you

["Ideal Woman" by
William Shatner]

♪ Don't change

♪ Because you think I might
like you to be different ♪

♪ I fell in love with you

♪ I don't want you blonde

♪ I don't want
you not to swear ♪

♪ Not to swear

♪ It's you I fell in love with

♪ Your turn of phrase
your sensitivity ♪

♪ Your irrational moves

♪ Well maybe that could go

♪ But everything else
I want you to be you ♪

♪ I want you to dance
whenever you feel it ♪

♪ Up by the bandstand

♪ In the parking lot

♪ Up on the table

♪ Well maybe the
table could go ♪

♪ But I want you to be you

♪ I love what you wear
'cause you're wearing it ♪

♪ That shawl

♪ That clinging dress

♪ The svelte black jacket

♪ Those leopard capris

♪ Well maybe not the capris

♪ But I want you to be you

♪ I love what you eat

♪ You want yogurt

♪ You got yogurt

♪ Papaya

♪ It's yours

♪ Chewing gum

♪ Chew away

♪ I just want you to be you

♪ Spit out the gum
it doesn't work ♪

♪ Cha cha cha

♪ When you sleep you
are the most beautiful ♪

♪ In the moonlight
your soft skin glows ♪

♪ Your hair sprawled on
the pillow a vision ♪

♪ The murmuring breath

♪ The slight snore

♪ The slight snore

♪ I want you to be you

I think what you've hit on
is exactly what we should do.

The thought was Henry might
take a moment, some moments

to think about what he's,

what he can't get behind.

Has Been has been a
unique experience for me.

I was,

fully conscious,

which I don't think I was
back in the Transformed Man.

I was sort of unaware
but here I was aware.

I was aware of what
could be jeopardized,

I mean, reputation-wise.

I was aware of,

not feeling adequate.

I was aware

of the adventure

of this thing that
was in front of me.

Making music with
musical greats.

Then Ben started bringing people
in who were great artists,

world recognized
artists on this album.

- On that last take I...

- [Ben] Henry is our
generation's popular

spoken word artist.

- We just pick up right
in just so we never stop.

- I thought how
cool would that be

to get those guys
screaming at each other.

- We thought, how about
I Can't Get Behind.

He says, "Oh, that's great."

He started writing
some of his own stuff

and we incorporated the stuff
I wrote, some that he wrote.

- We kept this
beautiful thing going.

He said, "I'm like, and
he's like, and she's like.

"It's all, he's
all, and she's all."

I wrote some things that I
can't get behind and we do it

as a call and response.

- Leave me the hell alone!

- Eat more, spend less!

- Hey the Colonel is
breakdancing, give me a break!

- Drink responsibly!

- I can't get
behind any of that!

- That's Henry Rollins and
Bill in a shouting match.

It was the first, that was the
first collaboration I dreamed

of for this record
when I talked to Bill.

- It became an
explosion of rhythm.

[imitates drumming]

Rhythm.

Rhythm.

[imitates drumming]

And we're all in it together.

- I can't get behind that!
- I can't get behind that!

- We're taking the rhythm
of the Skins into our lyrics

and we're changing the lyrics
and we're going around.

♪ Spam
♪ Size matters

♪ No it doesn't
♪ Yes it does

♪ No it doesn't
♪ Yes it does

♪ No it doesn't!
♪ Yes it does

- Rhythm of speech is
where everything is.

♪ I can't get behind that
♪ Me neither

♪ Everybody knows
everything about all of us ♪

♪ That's too much noise

♪ I can't get behind that
♪ I can't get behind that

- William Shatner and you?

Huh?

I was like, I know, man.

- Because I'm bewildered by
the world as it is right now,

bewildered that all of
us see this terrible fate

of the world coming
like a catastrophe.

Like a tidal wave.

Oh my god, that's 100 feet high.

It's coming this way.

Maybe I should get
out of the way.

No! I think I'll watch it come.

That's what we're all doing.

We're in a catastrophe
that's about to happen

and oh wow, well maybe
there's a catastrophe.

Maybe we should do
something about it.

I can't get behind any of that.

♪ Let's go, ready

♪ From the top

["I Can't Get Behind
That" by William Shatner]

♪ My favorite shows on TV have
twelve minutes of advertising ♪

♪ I can't get behind
that kind of time ♪

♪ Eat quickly, drive faster,
make more money now ♪

♪ I can't get behind that

♪ My kids say

♪ He said to me, and I'm like,
and he's like, and she's like ♪

♪ It's all, he's
all, she's all ♪

♪ I can't get behind that
kind of like, English ♪

♪ That'll be six to eight
weeks before delivery ♪

♪ The rising oceans, the
warming temperatures ♪

♪ The dying polar bears

♪ No, tigers, in fifty years

♪ Rising poison in
the air and water ♪

♪ I can't understand why the
price of gas suddenly rises ♪

♪ When oil goes up

♪ But takes months to go
down long after oil falls ♪

♪ I can't get
behind any of that ♪

♪ I can't get behind the Gods

♪ Who are more vengeful,
angry, and dangerous ♪

♪ If you don't believe in them

♪ Why can't all these
Gods just get along ♪

♪ I mean they're omnipotent
and omnipresent ♪

♪ What's the problem

♪ What's the problem

♪ What about the men
who say, do as I do ♪

♪ Believe in what I say for
your own good or I'll kill you ♪

♪ I can't get behind that

♪ I can't get behind that

♪ Everybody knows
everything about all of us ♪

♪ That's too much knowledge

♪ I can't get behind that
♪ I can't get behind that

♪ Yeah

♪ And what about student drivers
using my streets to learn ♪

♪ If you learn to play the drums
you got to go to a studio ♪

♪ Go to a parking
lot for God's sake ♪

♪ Why are you
jeopardizing my life ♪

♪ I can't get behind
a student driver ♪

♪ I can't behind a driver who
drives like a student driver ♪

♪ If you're going to drive
an urban assault vehicle ♪

♪ Then get off the phone and
keep your eyes on the road ♪

♪ Lifetime guarantee

♪ Whose lifetime, not mine

♪ I haven't that
much time left ♪

♪ Let's make it yours

♪ Everybody's got a
longer life than me ♪

♪ The leaf blowers

♪ Is there anything
more futile ♪

♪ Car alarms

♪ Clap off
♪ Clap on

♪ Spam
♪ Size matters

♪ No it doesn't
♪ Yes it does

♪ No it doesn't
♪ Yes it does

♪ No it doesn't
♪ Yes it does

♪ My phone rings

♪ Make millions in minutes

♪ It's a computer

♪ Lose inches in hours

♪ Leave me the hell alone

♪ Eat more spend less

♪ The Colonel is breakdancing

♪ Give me a break

♪ Credit terms raised

♪ I can't get
behind any of that ♪

♪ I can't get behind
so-called singers ♪

♪ That can't carry a tune,
get paid for talking ♪

♪ How easy is that

♪ Well maybe I could
get behind that ♪

♪ Well I can't If you have
to fix it with a computer ♪

♪ Quantized, pitch corrected,
and overly inspected ♪

♪ Then you can't do it

♪ And I can't get behind that

♪ I can't get behind a fat ass

[audience laughing]

- Man, talk about, like
ahead of the curve.

It's basically the world
is caught up with Shatner.

The world kind of went,

"Damn, you've been
laughing the whole time."

- Did I throw you somewhat?

On the airplane
going to Nashville,

still with my notebook in hand

and I haven't finished writing.

I read, I just finished
something with an actress

and the actress whether
she had said it or not

but it wasn't a tabloid,

"Oh, I didn't want to take a
picture with that has-been."

Me.

Wow.

Has-been.

I've never been referred
to as a has-been before.

What a pity.

And then I thought, has-been,

what's wrong with
being a has-been?

I mean you got to stop doing
something at some point.

Even if you're just going to
die, fall down, I'm dying.

Yeah, but now you're
a has-been, dead.

I mean, it just,

you can't keep going at the
pace you go at when you're 20

but maybe you didn't do
anything when you were 20

and maybe you're
a one hit wonder.

But a one hit wonder
hit a great song

or maybe you just were
successful making a pancake.

A great pancake and never
able to repeat the pancake

but you did it once.

I never understood the word
has-been and I examined it.

Ben in his genius said,
"Let's make it a Western."

Huh?
["Has Been"]

♪ Has Been

♪ You talkin' to me

♪ You talkin' to me

♪ You calling me has been

♪ What'd you say your name is

♪ Jack

♪ Never Done Jack

♪ Glad to meet ya,
who's your friend ♪

♪ Dick

♪ Don't Say Dick

♪ What do ya know

♪ And you friend
what's your handle ♪

♪ Don

♪ Two Thumbs Don

♪ Riding on their armchairs

♪ They dream of
wealth and fame ♪

♪ Fear is their companion

♪ Nintendo is their game

♪ Never Done Jack
and Two Thumbs Don ♪

♪ And sidekick Don't Say Dick

♪ Will laugh at
others failures ♪

♪ Though they have
not done shit ♪

♪ I've heard of you

♪ The ready made connecting
with the ever ready ♪

♪ Yeah

♪ Never was talking
about still trying ♪

♪ I got it

♪ Forever better gossiping
about never say die ♪

♪ May I inquire about what
you've been doing mister ♪

♪ Jack

♪ Never Done Jack

♪ And you partner

♪ What's the news
of the world, Dick ♪

♪ I don't say Dick

♪ Don of all the people
you must be the tattler ♪

♪ Two Thumbs Don

♪ What are you
afraid of failure ♪

♪ So am I

♪ Has been

♪ Has been

♪ Has been implies failure

♪ Has been
♪ Not so

♪ Has been's history

♪ Has been was
♪ Has been

♪ Has been

♪ Might again

[audience applause]

We make decisions on our
life from instant to instant

constantly filled with the

apprehension that we don't
know what we're doing.

That is this the
right decision to make

or is this not the
right decision?

We never know.

The decision that you
make today may not worth

the right decision an
instant later, a day later,

a week later.

So you've got to
forgive yourself and
you make the decision

based on the resonance of
how it feels that moment.

You make a decision.

Yes I will do to that
movie, in my case.

Yes I will make that record,
yes I will write that song.

♪ Grecian urn

Frequently it turns out
to be the wrong decision.

Are you then to say I
made the wrong decision,

I better stop
♪ Midwest turn

making decisions?

Or do you say okay, I
made the wrong decision

there

but it shouldn't prevent me

from making another
decision now.

By the way
♪ Together

that decision which is
wrong, I got over here,

now I'm in the wrong place

but maybe if I go
from here to there

which I couldn't
get to from there

before I made that decision,

maybe if I get here will
be the right decision.

And so it becomes a series
of interconnected dots.

That's the story of your life.

The series of interconnected
dots of decision.

As you go to put the
last dot and fall over,

that's your life.

- When I heard the interview
with William Shatner

on NPR about Has
Been, I thought wow,

he's venturing out.

He's going somewhere else.

This is really fantastic.

- So we wrote a poem
to each other...

- In this time in his life that
he's taken all these steps,

Boston Legal and this CD,

then also gave me the
courage to find him,

to call him and say,

not just say, oh gee wouldn't
it be nice to do a ballet

to this piece and let
it sort of drift away

and be forgotten.

It was just an idea.

Now here it was
a completed piece

with the audience loving it,

the dancers loving it

and we love it too.

["Together"]
♪ Together

♪ Together they say

♪ A breath renewed

♪ Everyday

♪ With you

♪ Our arms

♪ Are moved

♪ We are not alone

♪ Not unloved

♪ Together

♪ We're ready