Willard (1971) - full transcript

[instrumental music plays]

- [car horn toots]
- [tires squeal]

[Mr. Martin] Willard!

You forget anything?

Oh, uh, the work orders,
I left them in my desk

- in an envelope, I'll--
- [car horn tooting]

[Mr. Martin] You don't have
to go back, Willard.

I sweat blood to get
those accounts, Willard.

You sit on them, we lose 'em.

I know, Mr. Martin.

[Mr. Martin mimicking Willard]
I know Mr. Martin.



I wanna see these
Monday morning at 9:00 a.m.

And I mean 9:00 a.m.

Surprise, boy!
Happy birthday, boy!

[all] Happy birthday!

[all laughing]

[party blowers squeaking]

[Henrietta] Happy
birthday to you!

[laughing]

[Henrietta] Happy
birthday, Willard!

Oh, 27 years ago, tonight,

you were born
in pain and suffering

you know, they didn't
think I would live.

Oh, Willard, give your
mother a birthday kiss. Oh!

[party blowers squeaking]



Isn't it nice
that all our friends

came to your birthday party.

- [man] Happy birthday, Willard.
- [woman] Happy birthday!

Such a sweet boy.
And he was so surprised!

That's right, dear.

Here is the cake.

Oh, thank you. Now, Charlotte
made it for your birthday, dear.

No, no. Oh, no, no Charlotte.

Let Willard do it.

Willard, take off the cover.

[guest cheering and clapping]

Cut it, Willard. Go on, cut it.

Ooh, where's the knife?
Yes, there it is.

- [Henrietta] Ha!
- [Charlotte] Here you go.

There, there, cut it.
Oh, oh, make a wish. Sh-sh-sh.

Is Mr. Martin
coming to the party?

Oh, well I invited him.
[giggles nervously]

Mother, you didn't
invite Mr. Martin?

- Oh, of course I did, Willard.
- What's the matter with you boy?

Don't you want your boss
to come to the party?

Might do you some good to
socialize with him, Willard.

Let bygones be bygones.

That way your boss will
get to know you better, dear.

She's right, Willard.

Willard is basically
an extrovert.

Except it's all inside.

[woman] That's right, dear.

You're executive
material, Willard.

Please, no,
this is my party, let's--

Not easy to find a dedicated
young man these days,

is it, Charlotte?

She's right, and it's time you
became more aggressive, dear.

If you're gonna
make it in this world,

you gotta learn to get
tough. Tough, tough.

Don't forget your style.

Willard, a man's gotta speak
up for himself in this world.

Gotta be vice president.
That's the least Martin can do,

after what he did
to your father.

[man] Here's to
the vice president.

I can tell you this,
if Willard had been older,

Martin would never have been
able to take over the business.

[sucks in breath] Never!

Martin take over
the business? He stole it!

Willard, if you'd just
been a little tougher--

Well, how could I?

[Henrietta] Willard,
you don't want to be a cashier,

all your life.

- Willard!
- [Charlotte] Willard!

- Now, Henrietta, calm down.
- Oh.

- It's all right. All right.
- I'm off to bed.

[sniffs]

[rat squeaking]

[rat squeaking]

[rat squeaking]

Happy birthday.

- [Willard chuckles]
- [rat squeaking]

- [Henrietta] Willard?
- [bell rings]

- Willard?
- [bell rings]

- [bell ringing]
- Willard?

I know you're there, Willard!

[bell continues ringing]

You offended our
guests, Willard.

I'm sorry, mother.

They're your friends, you know?
They're only trying to help me.

And you too.

And they're right about
Martin, you know?

We must keep him as a friend.

And, Martin should make you a
vice president

Oh. Willard Stiles,
vice president.

[Henrietta chuckles] Willard.

[in raised voice] You don't
talk to me anymore.

Well, I try, Mother.

Oh, Willard. Sometimes I
just don't understand you.

Well, the whole house
is falling apart.

All the shingles on
the roof are falling off,

the TV doesn't work,

oh, oh, and the
faucets in the kitchen

are starting to leak again.

Yesterday, I saw,
saw a rat in the yard.

[grumbling] Why,
you're letting everything go?

[stammering] Well, I'll put
some washers in tomorrow.

[Henrietta] Oh, yes,
and Willard? Uh,

the laundry faucets, they need,
need new washers too, you know?

- All right, all right.
- [Henrietta chuckles]

Sometimes I think you're trying
to, [chuckles] kill your mother.

[Henrietta chuckles]

Good night, Mother

[rats squeaking]

[rat squeaks]

Have a good breakfast.

[kissing]

- [lawn mower running]
- Willard?

Willard!

Did you do anything
about those rats?

What?

Oh, I will.

When, Willard?

I'll get to it.

Uh, their nests are out
by the rock garden there.

Perhaps we should call
an exterminator?

Exterminators cost money.

You can kill them with a stick!

No!

And I never find them all.

When are you going to talk
to Martin about your job?

[bell dings]

[drilling]

[banging]

I thought I told you I
wanted to talk to you

this morning at 9:00 a.m.

Oh, I was just on my way
to your office, Mr. Martin.

[Mr. Martin] It's 9:40 a.m.

What's the matter?

Well, I had a lot to
do at home this morning,

and I missed my bus.

Oh, you missed the bus?

Oh, well,
do come in Mr. Stiles.

[Alice laughing]

Don't you get your hair cut?

Well, come on, come on.
Where are those invoices, boy?

Oh, uh, I got most of them done,

I'll, I'll get the rest,
uh, this morning.

There are two departments in the
company that have to work right.

One of them is sales,

and one of them
is manufacturing.

Now, you get
a bottle neck in the middle,

and orders don't get processed,
or orders don't go out,

and everything comes
to a screeching halt.

And I lose my shirt.

Now, do you want me
to lose my shirt, Willard?

I'm gonna tell you,
for the last time!

Clean up your back
log of work! All of it!

You hold up my sales department,

or even my shipping
department, one more time,

- Mr. Martin--
- Shut up, Willard!

I don't buy that bit
about you being overworked.

I'm gonna do you a favor,

at my own expense,

I've brought in
a temporary girl,

to help you clear up your desk.

Now, I want, and I am going
to have a system around here,

and if I don't get it...

Promise or no promise
to your mother,

I'm gonna throw
you out of here.

Now get moving!

Do they always give you
that much work to do?

[Joan groans]

You can call me
Joan, Mr. Stiles.

[rats squeaking]

[rats squeaking]

[rats squeaking]

[rat squeaking]

[piano playing]

[Henrietta] Willard?

- Did you do it?
- Do what?

Oh, Willard, you're
driving me out of my mind.

Want a little something
to nibble on?

I want you to come here!

Did you kill the rats?

Yes! I did it, I did it.

They were, uh,
swimming around and around.

And I didn't think they were
gonna drown, you know,

so I got a stick,
it was your idea.

And I came up on them
and I just, you know,

- Ka-bam! Like, like that.
- [gasps] Don't!

Don't, please don't. [shivers]

I, I don't want
to hear about it.

[Willard] Jackson. Stanley.
Margolis. Bannister. Kramer.

Yant.

That's all the additions
to the list so far.

Well, the list
seems to check out.

Listen, if we don't stop this,

we're not gonna get
these work orders done.

- [Joan] I know.
- You got my invitation, Willard?

Yes.

This way you'll save a stamp.

Make a hit with the boss.

- [phone ringing]
- I'm coming.

[Brandt] Thanks, Willard.

It seems to me

that Martin should've
invited you to his party.

Well, I'm not a customer.

For a salesman.

But after all,
your family founded the company,

didn't they?

Yes, but that's the past and
this isn't the past.

I'm glad I'm just a temporary.

Oh, hello, darling.

Your mother called me.

She didn't feel well, she had
a very bad spell this afternoon.

But I told her I'd
stay here until you got home.

Now, don't, don't worry.
I, I made her a little custard,

- would you like some?
- No.

[Charlotte] I don't mind
taking care of both of you.

No.

[Henrietta] Oh.

Mother, why did you call
Charlotte, instead of me?

Well, you can't leave
your work every time I call.

And, we have to have
someone here to help.

[grunts]

I'm afraid, I'm going to be a
lot of trouble to you, Willard.

I'll manage, don't you worry.

The only evidence of my
struggle with the world is you.

I'm sorry to have been
such a disappointment.

You've always been a good boy,
Willard. It's just that I'm

alone here, most of
the time, and I worry so.

What you need is a wife.

Who'll keep after you,
[chuckles] all the time.

Who, who would
help you in business.

Oh, and did you fix
the shingles on the porch?

Yes.

I'm so...

Sick of lying here
without my TV.

I'll fix it tomorrow.

You're not in trouble
with a girl, are you?

Oh, [stammering] I brought
this for your mother,

it'll give her strength.

I heard you two talking,
how is she, Willard?

She's asleep.

Oh.

Well, I, I can put it
in the refrigerator,

and you can give it to her
later, and I'll be off.

But, you remember now,
you call me if you need me.

[rats squeaking]

Lesson time, Queenie.

- C'mon.
- [rat squeaks]

- C'mon, Queenie. Hi. Hi babe.
- [rat squeaks]

[chuckles] Hi.
Come on, it's lesson time.

I know what the
trouble is, Queenie.

You don't know what speech is.

You know I make noises,
and I know you make noises,

but I can't make any sense
out of your noises,

and you can't make
any sense out of mine.

So, I'm gonna try to
teach you a new word.

- [enunciating] Food.
- [rat squeaks]

- Food.
- [rat squeaks]

[Willard] Food.

That's right, that's food.

Empty.

- [rat squeaks]
- [Willard] That's right.

That's empty.

You're learning.

[rats squeaking]

[rats squeaking]

- [Willard] Is he mine?
- [rat squeaks]

Thank you.

- [rat squeaks]
- [Willard chuckles]

I'll call you...

Socrates.

- Do you like that?
- [rat squeaks]

[kissing]

[laughs]

Willard?

- Willard? Willard?
- [bell ringing]

[bell ringing]

[shrieking] Willard!

- [bell ringing]
- Willard?

[shrieking] Willard? Willard?

Oh! I've been
calling and calling.

Oh, I was in the back,
I didn't hear you.

What do you do there?

Just sit.

You can't just sit out back
for an hour doing nothing!

Yes, I can. I like it.

It isn't good for you to sit out
there alone and brood so much!

What do you think about, huh?

Oh, the pilot light is out
on the heater, again.

I'll fix it.

Willard!

What's that in your pocket?

[hysterically] There's
something in your pocket!

No, you're imagining things.

No, I'm not.
Turn around, I want to see.

There's nothing to see.

[Willard in high pitched voice]
Hi, troops.

- [rats squeaking]
- Hi.

Hi
.

- Hi, team.
- [rat squeaks]

- [rats squeaking]
- [whispering] Oh.

- [rats squeaking]
- [Willard] Oops.

Okay.

Everybody! Ella, here for...

Nashua-ashua. King of
the station of Pitchburg Road.

There you go.

Okay.

- In the box.
- [rats squeaking]

That, that's right, Socrates.

[making trumpets sounds
and guns firing]

- [rats squeaking]
- Boy, you're smart!

- [chuckles]
- [bell pinging]

Who are you?

Hi
.

- What are you doing here?
- [rat squeaking]

[laughing] You're bright. Yeah!

I'm gonna call you, uh...

Um...

Ben.

Ben?

[rats squeaking]

[chuckles]

[rats squeaking]

[both laughing]

[Alice giggling]

[Alice giggling]

[Willard] Glad you're
not like some people.

[Alice giggling]

Mr. Martin wants to see you now.

[Alice giggling]

[Mr. Martin] Come in, come in.

Close the door.

Oh, I'm sorry, Brandt said
you wanted to see the Casey

file.

Uh, sit down, sit down.

Sit down.

You caught me in closet with
ol' Rickles, huh? [chuckles]

C'mon, boy, loosen up.

I was just doing
the old broad a favor!

[chuckles]

Willard? Are you happy here?

Well, I might be
if I made some money.

[laughing] You're
not trying, Willard.

[chuckles] You're
not trying at all!

[gently] Hey.

Hey.

Are you putting the squeeze on--

on me?

[laughs] This is
one for the books!

Mr. Martin, uh,

now, I haven't had a raise
since my father died,

and I work

weekends, and I work nights

- and--
- What do you want from me?

You need money? Sell the house.

We can't sell it.

Of course you can.

And I'm prepared to
make you an offer.

That house is much
too big for you.

Oh, for me too, for that matter.

But I can afford it.

Now,

you haven't got a father, and...

What do you say?

You sell the house, you won't
have to worry about a raise.

Mr. Martin, with the, with the
hours that I put in here, I,

- I think that there's--
- Yeah, no wonder.

Takes you three times
longer than it should.

[Willard] Well I,
deserve a raise!

Be glad you still got a job!

Okay, forget it.

You send out those invitations
to my anniversary on time?

- [Willard] Yes.
- [Mr. Martin] When?

Couple weeks ago, I think.

You think?

[yelling] You think?

What do you mean, "you think"?

Half of my customers
haven't even answered!

Look in your desk,
I bet they're still in there.

Look, it's tonight you know?

Or doesn't that interest you?

You know something, Willard?

You're a real pain in the tail.

[yelling] I carried your
father on my back, for years!

And now I'm carrying you!

Go on, crawl outta here!

Willard?

[drilling]

[banging]

[banging]

Four thousand dollars, and he
thought he was gonna take me!

[all laughing]

Go right in. [laughing]

Oh, hi. Go in and have
a drink, enjoy yourself.

- [party music playing]
- [people talking]

- [rats squeaking]
- [Willard] Food!

[enunciating] Food!

Food!

- [woman screams] Rats!
- [everyone screaming]

Whoa, what, what's the matter?

[everyone hysterical]

[Mr. Martin] Rats? Please!

What are you doing?

Rats all over the place.

Rats?

[Brandt] Over there!
Watch your head!

- [rats squeaking]
- Over there, look out.

[screaming continues]

Happy anniversary.

Must've been 200 of them.

And, [chuckling] you should've
seen the boss dodging the rats.

[all laughing]

And you should've
seen this hero,

up on a chair,
squealing like a fag.

[ladies giggling]

I, I hope you're insured for
the damage, Mr. Martin.

- [telephone ringing]
- [Alice] Hello? Yes?

It's somebody
from Willard's house.

No!

I think you better take it.

Hello?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

Willard, uh, let me have
those clearance papers.

Our three shipments didn't
clear customs, I made a note.

Yeah, okay.

Look, you better go
on home, your mother's sick.

Well, go on, go on home.

Who called?

Well, how do I know?
Some Charlotte or somebody.

Go on. Beat it.

[glass breaking]

What's wrong with my mother?

Has the doctor been here yet?

Where's my mother?

They took her away.

Where? What hospital?

She died this morning, Willard,
at 9:42, in my arms.

[crying] The last thing she
said was to take care of you.

What right do you have to move
my mother without my permission?

Well, I tried to get you.

The office,
didn't Mr. Martin tell ya?

They said you'd gone
to the customs house,

and I called you over there,
but they couldn't reach you.

Where is she?

Your mother's in heaven dear.

And Mr. Farley has the body.

She's out of
her misery, poor thing.

Oh, how she loved you, Willard.

Your mother asked me
to take care of you.

- Oh, how she loved you, Willard.
- I know my mother loved me,

you don't have to
keep telling me that.

Well, well, I have to call

Mr. Farley later
about the arrangements,

flowers can come
from the Stewarts

and we can call
Reverend Pascal, he can help.

Willard, you don't know
how much there is to do.

You're, you're upset.

And nervous, of course you are.

You and your mother
were so close.

After this is over,
you should take a week off.

Take a rest. That's what you
need, Willard, a rest.

And a chance to decide,

what you're gonna
do with your life

now that your mother's gone.

Get out! Just,
just, just get out.

You, you leave me alone.

I'll take care of
my mother, you, get out.

Get out!

You just get out!

[rat squeaking]

C'mon, we have a lot to do.

[Mr. Carlson] Oh, Willard!

I don't want to seem
precipitous, Willard,

but, there are a few things
about your mother's estate

you should know right away.

Your mother left
everything to you.

The house,
the clothes, everything.

Oh, what about money?
Did she leave any money?

Well, your mother was
living on a small annuity,

unfortunately
it died with her.

You mean she left me nothing?

Not much, just the
equity on the house.

Well, you could sell it,
pay off the mortgage.

Buy yourself a small
house, somewhere else.

Have something left
over for the future.

Mortgage?

- Mortgage?
- Yes, Willard.

It's heavily mortgaged.

You mean my mother
didn't leave me any money?

Just this.

It's a check for $1,500.

It's an insurance check.

I took the liberty
of getting it,

I thought you might need it
to take care of your moving.

Well, I, I won't
be moving Mr. Carlson,

I'm not going to sell the house.

Thank, thank you for the check.

[Mr. Martin] Here,
let me help you with that.

Aw, thank you, Mr. Martin,

- it's very kind.
- Thank you.

Well, he should be home by now.

We brought a little food, dear.

Poor boy.

Willard

Willard.

You poor dear.

Tough luck, Willard.

[Mr. Martin] Thank you.

You need any help with
your financial problems,

you just call old dad,
we'll talk, huh?

[Willard] I will.

- [Mr. Martin] Hey.
- [Willard] Excuse me.

[Mr. Martin] Now that's
a real beauty, boy. Yes, sir.

Yeah.

- Moons and everything.
- [both laugh]

I always wanted to take
one of these apart.

[Charlotte] Now, you two boys,

come on in and have
something to eat.

Food! Yes, ma'am.

Yes, sir.

Don't you forget...

[Mr. Martin
speaking indistinctly]

That's great.

Mmmm.

[woman 1] Anybody want
a sandwich?

Sandwich, sandwich.

[Charlotte]
Alright, pick them up.

[Mr. Martin mumbling] [chuckles]

Anybody got a fork?

[woman 1] That's it.

[Charlotte] Will you
open this for me?

Oh, yeah.

[Mr. Martin laughs]

[woman 2] I like pickles...

[woman 1] Pickle, pickle,
pickle.

[Mr. Martin mumbling]

Come on, Willard. Just like
a picnic. [chuckles]

[Willard] Big day, today.
We're moving to the cellar.

[rat squeaks]

[rat squeaks]

- [chuckles] Hi, Ben. Hi.
- [rat squeaks]

Well, you sure get
into places, don't ya?

Look! Look who's here.

There's uh, food,

and water.

Willard.

Willard?

[muffled] Willard?

- Ben? Socrates, you wait here.
- [rat squeaks]

Wh--

Now, now, now, now Willard.

I, I, I know you're upset,
Willard,

but your mother died in my arms

and I made a promise to her
that I'd take care of you.

And I want to keep
that promise, Willard--

Where's you get those keys?

I found them in your
room upstairs, dear.

Now, this house is no place for
a young man to be living alone.

I've been talking
to Mr. Farley--

I want them.

- What?
- Give me the keys.

- You mother gave me these keys!
- [Willard] Give me those keys!

Willard! If you shout at me

I'll never set foot
in this house again!

You are not my mother

and I don't want you
to come here, anymore.

And I don't want your
advice about the house

and I can take care of myself.
Now, give me the keys!

- [Willard] Get back!
- [rats squeaking]

Come on, now, get back!

- [rat squeaks]
- Ben, now stop it!

I want you to stay here
in the cellar where you belong!

- Now stop it! Ben, now stop it
- [rat squeaking frantically]

C'mon! Get back!

[rats squeaking]

- [rat squeaks]
- Hmm?

Oh, well if you have to go...

do it in the ashtray,
if you don't mind?

- If you don't mind.
- [rat squeaks]

[bell tinkles]

Ben!

You're supposed
to be in the cellar.

[rat squeaking]

Look, I can't
have you all up here.

I don't know how you
guy's get around.

[kissing]

You know, Socrates,
I made a decision.

You know how lonely I get
for you at the office,

when I have to work late?

Well, you know
what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna take you to
the office with me tomorrow.

It's Saturday and nobody
will be there in the afternoon.

[rat squeaks]

- Hey, do you wanna take Ben?
- [rat squeaks]

Huh?

Okay, Ben, you can come too.

[chuckles]

Hey, I'm gonna have
a big surprise tomorrow.

- Okay? A big surprise.
- [rats squeaking]

- [car horn toots]
- [phone ringing]

[rats squeaking]

Now, you boys,

can stay in here today.

Nobody comes in here, but me.

And I want you to be good.

- And don't worry,
- [rats squeaking]

and have fun,

and don't be nervous,
be careful.

Okay? And I'll come back
and get you before I leave.

- Okay? Bye.
- [rats squeaking]

- Have a nice weekend, Willard.
- Thanks.

I have a new car.

[Joan] A new car?

Well, it's almost new.

It's, uh,

it's beautiful.

Saw you coming in this morning.

I'd take you home, but I have
to stay here this afternoon.

[gasps] But, it's Saturday.

Good luck.

- [sighs]
- [rats squeaking]

[Joan] Willard?

Finished with your work?

Well, I have a surprise
for you in your car.

In my car?

Okay, now close your eyes.

C'mon.

C'mon.

All right.
Now look in the back seat.

- [cat meows]
- Aw, her name's Chloe.

She's a present for you.

I, I couldn't bare thinking of
you all alone, Willard, and...

Well, cats are really
very good company.

Especially girl cats, and...

Well, I saw her in
the pet shop down the street

when I was having lunch today.

Well, I couldn't
resist getting her or you.

Have you ever had a cat before?

No.

Um...

Why don't we drop
her off by your house,

I, I'd love to see it.

Ahh...

Well, we could go by there?

But, uh, I can't
ask you in, we've--

too messy.

[chuckles] All right.

[cat meowing]

[cat meowing]

[Joan] Ah!

I just love old houses.

This is where I live.

[cat meows]

What is it, Willard?
What's the matter?

They're gonna sell
our house for taxes.

Oh, that's a shame.

Joan, do you mind
if I take you right home?

[cat meowing]

What are you gonna do, Willard?

- About what?
- Well, about your house.

I don't know.

I don't have $2,500.

You just have to think of
someway to get it.

- [Chuckles]
- [cat meowing]

Oh, I wish I could
give it to you, Willard, I--

I mean you deserve that.

Be good, Chloe.

[cat meowing]

Take care of Chloe!

[Willard] Oh, I'll
take care of her, all right.

[cat meowing]

Do you mind holding this just
for a minute for me? Thank you.

[cat meows]

[cat meowing]

[rats squealing]

Each time I come down
here, there's more of ya.

Now, now look!
Get this straight!

Stop it!

Now, I am the boss here.

Want you to stop it!

I can't afford it.

Look, nothing!

The mortgage is driving me nuts.

And you're driving me nuts!

Worse than a bunch of rabbits!

Dinner!

[rats squeaking]

C'mon. May be the last one.

C'mon.

C'mon. Dinner.

C'mon, eat.

All right.

Wait here till I get back.

Willard. You came to apologize,

I knew you would,
you're your mother's boy.

Is that the car you bought
with the money she left you?

- Yes.
- Nice.

[Charlotte] Oh.

I, I need some money for taxes.

Uh, I came home

and found a, a notice
for tax sale on the door.

And, if I don't pay it,

they're gonna take
the house away from me.

And, and I was wondering
if you could help me?

[Charlotte grunts]

[telephone ringing]

Farley's Mortuary.
Mr. Farley speaking.

Yes, ma'am.
Just a moment please.

B-A-R-R-Y.
And the address, please?

[murmuring]

Yes, ma'am.

Somebody will be
over there, within an hour.

No office hours in this
business, Willard.

You have to be here
when they want you,

or they take their
business somewhere else.

Now,

what were you saying?

I thought maybe you
could lend me the money

so I could pay my taxes

and then you'd
let me pay you back.

Willard, what you're saying
makes no sense at all.

There's no reason why you should
get deeper and deeper into debt.

Now, you just sit
down there, and listen to me.

You'd better sell
the house, Willard,

it's the only thing
that makes sense.

You're not gonna lend me the
money, Mr. Farley? It's $2,500.

Well, my boy...

If I thought it would
help you, I'd do so, but,

no, I can't do that.

You think about
selling the house.

Now, think about it, Willard.

Now, you'll have to excuse me

because I have someone
in the back to take care of,

and then I...

have to, make a pick up.

Did you have any luck?

- Luck with what?
- Well, with the money?

Oh, Willard, I wish
I had some money to give you.

[chuckles] Why, I couldn't
take money from you Joan,

that wouldn't be fair.

[sighs] I'll think of something.

Walt, I promise you,
it will be delivered.

But, you gotta remember,

those little pictures
back there, for me.

[both men laughing]

Alice, Mr. Spencer's going
to Europe tomorrow afternoon,

the lucky stiff.

And listen, he needs some
cashier's checks and some cash.

Now, draw up a check for $8,000,
take it down to the bank.

- [Alice] Yes, Mr. Martin.
- And here

is Mr. Spencer's personal check

put that in the firms account--

Right, but the bank will be
closed before I can get there.

Well, call them, they stay
open for me.

[chuckles] Get me half
in cashier's checks

and the balance
in cash, $100 bills.

Isn't that a hell of a lotta
cash to be carrying around?

[laughs] Stick it
in my money belt.

I always like to have
some real cash available.

[laughs] For a little
wheeling and dealing

- in that black market, huh?
- [both laughing]

[Mr. Martin] Hey, I'd like
to get a black market

on those pictures. [laughs]

Can you, can you imagine having
$8,000 to spend on a vacation?

Hey, we could really ball it up
with that kind of a bank roll,

huh, Willard? Oh!

Ah, you got my rolodex,
give me Spencer's address.

- Spencer.
- [Alice] Wait a minute.

Yeah.

Spencer, Walter T. 1136
Spencer Lane, Hollywood, 90028.

[Walter groaning in sleep]

[whispering] Door joint...

[scratching]

Eat it out.

[scratching]

Come on, Walter, wake up!

- Something's scratching.
- [groaning] What?

- You hear it?
- [Walter groans]

[scratching]

- [breathing heavily]
- [scratching continues]

[whispers] Stop!

[whispers] Tear it up!

[scratching]

[breathing heavily]

- [banging noise]
- Walter!

Please, Walter, there's
something outside the door.

- Please?
- [Walter groans]

[groans] it's just
your imagination.

But if it'll make you
feel any better...

[sighs]

- [Walter screaming]
- [rats squeaking]

- [both screaming]
- [rats squeaking]

[June yells]
Do something! Oh, God!

- Don't leave me!
- C'mon, June! June?

[June screaming]

[doorbell buzzes]

[doorbell buzzes]

[Mr. Martin] Hmmm.

Damn kid's never home!

What do we do with the house?

Are you kidding?

This is
a woodpecker's hamburger.

You run a bulldozer through it.

And where'd he get
that weed bit?

[Mr. Martin chuckles]

Yes, sir.

I can put

close to 40
apartments on this lot.

Now, remember,

you gotta have one and a half
parking places per apartment.

I got room, don't worry.

Why is that kid still
hanging onto this old barn?

'Cause he's a kook!

Here, let me,
let me look in here.

Suppose he won't sell?

He'll sell, if he's unemployed.
Ah! Come on.

[laughing]

[car horn beeps]

[rat squeaks]

[rat squeaks]

- [rat squeaks]
- [Willard] Ben!

Now, you know very well

you're not supposed
to be in the bedroom!

[rat squeaks]

Now, just for that, I am not
gonna take you

into the office
tomorrow, do you hear?

Ben! Bad!

- Go to the cellar.
- [rat squeaks]

- To the cellar!
- [rat squeaks]

You hear?
I am sick of your troublemaking.

Ben?

Ben, I'll-- Ben?

[rat squeaks]

Ben, did you--

[tuts]

Now, how did you get in there?

Look,

are you gonna be good?

All right, I'll take
you to the office.

But if you do
one thing wrong,

if you make one sound,
it's the last time you go.

- Do you understand?
- [rat squeaks]

- [rat squeaks]
- All right.

Uh, Mr. Martin wants to see you.

Come in.

Uh, you got a moment?

Come in, come in.
Uh, close the door.

Sit down.

I, um, I want to talk to you.

You're the boss, Mr. Martin.

Now, as you know, Joan,

we have a nice family
relationship here.

Everybody

gets along with
everybody. [chuckles]

Now...

I've noticed lately that, uh,

you've been seeing
a lot of Willard?

You object to that?

Me? No, sir!

[chuckles] I should say not,
I think it's wonderful

Now...

I'm the one
that pays you, right?

Just exactly what
do you want, Mr. Martin?

[Mr. Martin] I want
you to do me a favor.

Help me to help Willard.

You can help us both.

By persuading him
to sell me his house.

I can't do that!

- [Mr. Martin] Can't...
- No.

[Mr. Martin] Or won't?

I think you better do your
own persuading, Mr. Martin.

If that is the way you feel.

Alice?

- [rat squeaking]
- [Willard whispers] Hey.

Now, you two-- You! You
behave yourself, do you hear?

Are you gonna be good. Hmm?
I can hear ya out in the hall,

now calm down!

Both of you!

[whispering] This is the
last time I'm gonna warn you.

[Brandt] Willard,
can I see you a minute, please?

Willard?

[Joan] I, I've just been fired.
I, I just got my notice.

Alice put it on the desk.

Well, did you have
a fight with her?

It, it's all right, Willard,
it was just a temporary job.

I'll get another one.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

[scoffs] He's given me
my notice.

Big deal, I get 30 days.

[screams]

[Alice screaming]

[all shouting and screaming]

[Mr. Martin] What the
hell's going on here?

Tell them about rats,

they're just little
mice, probably.

Where, where'd you see the rats?

I saw them,
they're all over the closet!

Oh, for-- Here's somebody get me
a stick.

Get me a stick, get me
a stick, anything at all!

- Get a stick.
- Now, c'mon. Hold it down,

will ya, kids,
it's only a rat.

- [Alice cries out]
- All right, now hold it down.

Be careful, Mr. Martin

I see them!

[Mr. Martin grunting]

[yells] Get me a chair!

A chair, gimme a chair,
hurry up. Gimme a chair!

- Hurry up!
- [Brandt] Watch it, look out.

[Mr. Martin] C'mon,
will ya, with the chair!

C'mon with the chair!

- Hold the chair now!
- [Brandt] I'll hold it, I got.

[rat squeaking]

[Mr. Martin] Ruin my party,
will you?

Oh, you-- I got him!

I got him!

- You got a lot of guts, boss.
- [Mr. Martin] Huh? [chuckles]

- He's dead.
- [women murmuring]

Good work, Mr. Martin.

All right.

That was great, boss.

[Mr. Martin] Oh, man,
I gotta get washed up.

Phew! Oh, boy, look at me.

I gotta get cleaned up.

[Willard coughing]

Ha! It's like a damn safari
with all these rats. [laughing]

Hey, what's the matter, tiger?

Got a little nervous stomach?

[laughing] C'mon, boy!

Let's not take all day,

let's get going,
we got a lot of work to do.

Hey, Alice, get somebody to
clean up that mess, will you?

Hey, hey!

C'mon! Let's get back to work!

Do you think there
are any more of them?

Well, if there are,
just whistle for me.

Listen, uh, open up the office
in the morning, will you?

Would you like me
to stay the night?

[in low voice] That's
a good idea.

It's tax season, and I need
some private finagling time.

[huffs] Ben, there was
nothing I could do.

There's nothing I could do.

Ben, it was--
it wasn't my fault.

Will you...
Please just, just get in...

And I won't touch you.

Ben, they'll kill you
if you stay here?

[whispering] Please,
they'll kill you.

It's all right, it's okay.

Why didn't you tell me that
you owed taxes on the mortgage?

You!

You told me to talk over my
future with your, your friend,

Martin
.

Well!

Well, Martin your friend,

wants to take my house
and just, just knock it down!

Well I won't let him!

Incidentally...

he fired me!

And, if it'll make
you feel any better...

Socrates is dead.

Martin killed him.

Just like he killed my father!

Don't worry, I'll manage!

I make the decisions now.

I make the decisions now.

[scratching]

[scratching]

[scratching]

[scratching]

Hello.

[sighs]

My, god! Look at the rats.

Look at the rats,
not just one anymore.

We've come to talk to you.

What, are you crazy
or something?

Watch Mr. Martin.

They do anything
I tell them to do.

You're the one
that ruined my party.

- You crazy--
- Don't you move!

There are a lot more of them.

- [scuffling]
- [Willard] Waiting.

Waiting for what?

Waiting for us,
to finish our talk.

[in firm voice] Sit down.

No, Willard...

Sit!

Mr. Martin?

I have a number of
things to tell you.

First...

you stole the business
from my father.

And second...

it killed my mother.

And third...

you're trying to ruin me.

Willard, what are you talking--

You never left me
alone for a minute!

You made a fool out of me
in front of everybody!

And now, you're trying
to steal my house!

Oh, no, no--

[screaming] I heard you!

That's why you're
trying to fire me!

You-- you made me hate myself!

[stuttering]
I thought a lot about it.

Hating myself.

Well, I like myself now.

You killed my friend.

I killed who?

How did Socrates feel when
you stuck him with this?

How did Socrates feel?

Whoa, who the hell is Socrates?

Socrates was the
best friend, I ever had!

[both grunting]

[rat squealing]

[screaming]

Dammit!

[shouting] Tear him up!

- [rats squeaking]
- No, Willard! No, no! No, wait!

Willard, no!
No, no, no, Willard!

[hysterically] No! Willard!
[screaming] Willard! Willard!

[screaming]

Goodbye, Ben.

[rat squeaking]

I don't wanna go home.

You can come to my house.

We could stop and get
some food, if you...

Have something to eat
later if you'd like

- More?
- Mmm, no.

You know,
my life is changed now.

Two things did it.

And one was a friend
I had, named Socrates.

- And you.
- Oh...

What a very nice
thing to say, Willard.

[both chuckle]

Where's Chloe?

Uh, she's hunting.

[Joan] Hmm?

Oh!

[Joan giggles]

Here's to us!

- To us!
- [clink]

You know, tomorrow
I'm gonna start all over.

I'm gonna go to your
employment agency

and see what they can do for me.

I'll call them for you.

- You don't have to.
- But I'd like to, Willard.

No, you don't understand.

You see, I'm not afraid anymore.

[Joan] What is it?

I don't know.

I think I heard something
in the hall, excuse me.

[rats squeaking]

Joan, I want you to
do something for me.

What is it, Willard?

And I don't want you
to ask me any questions.

I don't want you to complain,
I just want you to do it.

Well, of course,
but, what is it?

I want you to take this money

and I want you to go down to the
corner and get a taxi cab

and go home,
and I'll call you there.

- [Joan] Willard--
- [Willard] Don't ask me--

What, Joan? Just go!
Don't ask, just go!

[rat squeaks]

Ben!

- Ben, now you--
- [rat squeaks]

Okay, I guess we
have to make a deal.

Now, you came here for food,

and, you behave yourself
and you'll get it.

And so will your
friends in the cellar.

You understand?

[rat squeaks]

[rat squeaks]

[rat squeaking]

[rat squeaking]

[rat squeaking]

[rat squeaking]

[screams]

[shrieking] Get out!

Get out!

[grunts]

[screaming] I was
good to you, Ben!

- [screaming]
- [rats squeaking]

[moaning]

[instrumental music plays]