When Reality TV Goes Horribly Wrong (2017) - full transcript

Television. The small screen. The idiot
box. Boy, do we love watching the telly,

especially when it doesn't quite
go to plan.

Disgraceful! You're disgraceful!

Now this is getting a bit
toe-curling.

I think the great thing about live
TV is spelt backwards it's "evil".

Oof! Ah! Ooh!

Already...

Since the first broadcasts,
cameras have captured some

of the most dangerous...

It was dreadful.

...ridiculous...



LAUGHING: Look at the cat!

He's got a face like a slapped
backside.

...bizarre...

It's a very big pig, by the way.

...awkward...

Ouch! There's a lamppost!

Bong!

..."What the flip?"...

It's like a dance.

...and explosive moments...

I do star on the BBC safety video.

...with first-hand accounts

from those on both sides
of the camera.

The awkwardness was priceless.



Coming up,

a live TV debate gets
out of hand for Anna Soubry...

Are you going to hit me?

Oi, boys! I wouldn't mess with her.

...Judge Rinder is dogged by
two pooches

who go horribly wrong on his show...

Animals tend to do what animals
want to do.

...and there are alarm bells
for Krishnan Guru-Murthy,

quite literally,
on Channel 4 News.

FIRE ALARM BLARING
We do have some problems
here at ITN this lunchtime.

Wrap this up NOW!

I do struggle with lids and
what have you...

So, sit back, strap yourself in,

and brace yourself for
When Television Goes Horribly Wrong.

It starts right now!

Robert Rinder - AKA Judge Rinder -

has been presiding over domestic
disputes on ITV since 2014.

Did you, Gareth, describe what Ross
would have to do

during the course of the act?

No.

Judge Orinda is the UK's answer
to Judge Judy in America.

He's always sort of the mediator
in these arguments.

You got to the event.

What did you discover
Gareth wanted you to wear?

He is the voice of the nation
for little matters.

We've got some nice footwear,

a lovely little mini skirt,

antlers,

and a tie.

At least there were antlers, Ross.

Getting people to come
and air their dirty laundry

and actually sort out some sometimes
really pathetic situations.

The sort of squabbles
that, generally, you'd probably fall

out with somebody and then never
speak to them again.

In reality, he is dealing with the
most petty, littlest type of things.

But it makes good television
and we like watching it.

The more trivial it gets,
the better.

In 2016, the judge had an
interesting case brought before him.

They met each other.
They were sniffing around.

And having got on, you, Anne, came
up with a rather interesting idea.

What was the interesting idea?

To have them get married.

It's two friends whose dogs
were going to get married.

Sandra and Anne are serious about
getting these dogs married..

The doggie wedding
was to raise money for charity.

But when it was cancelled,

Anne wanted damages for loss of
opportunity.

I think this was probably one
of the most random that he's had.

Claiming loss of opportunity is a...

...LOL.

Seriously, could you just not sit
around the pub

and sort this out
in about five minutes?

How much were you planning to spend
on this event?

I was trying to get sponsors,
people involved.

Hopefully, to get the donation
of the marquee.

JUDGE RINDER LAUGHS

I've just seen the dog.

STILL LAUGHING
Sorry.

Now, Anne and Sandra have brought
the dogs with them.

Oh, look at them. They look so cute.

Soon as he saw them - gone.

When I saw it from afar, at first
I thought it looked like toilet roll

wrapped around the dog.

This way. Hi, Diva.

Oh, brilliant. Thank you.

You cannot NOT laugh at a dog
in a wedding dress.

Max, no... No!

Max, no, no!

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

The man dog couldn't wait to, er,
prove his love.

And they start sniffing each other
and getting on with the business.

Animals tend to do what animals
want to do.

You're not married yet. Come on.

He's not just laughing.

He's weeping.

You've got two dogs giving it on
your court floor -

your place where you tell people
what's right and what's wrong.

HE SOBS WITH LAUGHTER

He's like, wow, OK...

I can't.

You're not married...
You're not married yet!

It brings a whole new
meaning to the phrase "clogging".

One of the most funniest thing I
think I've ever seen on TV.

It may be TV, but he was still
expected to oversee proceedings

in a cool, calm
and collected manner.

This was very un-judge-like.

Judge Rinder's quite professional,

and I've never really seen him
lose it like that.

It's so unlike him because
he's such a great TV character.

He can composed himself.
He knows what to say and how.

The judge's slip up hit social media

and people couldn't believe what
they were seeing.

Judge Rinder continues to preside
over civil cases...

I've just seen the dog.

...but will forever be remembered

for losing his composure so
spectacularly.

DOG BARKS

Current affairs programmes and live
TV debates are an opportunity

for experts and audience members
to discuss the burning issues

of the day.

No, you can't... Recently...

When the subject matter is
contentious,

tempers sometimes do flare.

SHE SPEAKS SPANISH

There's nothin more that we love
than a good old argument.

These debate shows, they get
a bit heated.

Regional news programme Central
Weekend Live was one such show

that ran from 1986 to 2001.

I hosted Central Weekend
a couple of times.

You'd tee up a debate,
and then you'd get both sides.

Welcome back.

For the next 20 minutes,
we are going to be talking about

why creatures like this
could end up as this...

...a arguably magnificent fur coat.

In 1988, Anna Soubry was hosting
the show.

You've got Anna Soubry,
a very young Anna Soubry,

Journalist and barrister
and then MP.

Here tonight in the studio,

we have 20 such groups opposed
to the fur trade.

You've got a really emotive subject.

You are never going to find
a middle ground in something

like a fur debate.

There is no substitute for a fur.

An artificial fur will look terrible
within a couple of months,

where a natural fur will look
beautiful for years.

Fur traders arguing
with animal rights activists.

You've got two mannequins
standing behind the panel,

both wearing fur coats.

If you went and you saw
animals in traps, struggling,

gnawing their legs off,
you'd have a very different feeling

about that fur. What you're doing...
WOMAN TRIES TO INTERRUPT

...is you are draping yourself
in a corpse. One moment.

It was quite a tense studio,
you could tell.

The fur trade in this country,
it's on its way out.

Then it starts to kick off.

Now, just a minute, just a minute.

If everybody shouts at each other,
we get nowhere. Wait.

And then everyone starts
talking over everybody else.

And there's Anna.
She's not having any of it.

Let me ask... Let me...
Just a minute... No.

Anna Soubry was very good at
trying to say,

"Listen, can we just take
the temperature down?"

We've had invasions by these
hooligans. No yoghurt.

They barged into our shop,

broken my son's nose.
Why don't you be quiet, monkey-face?

And then there's that one guy in the
audience. He's quite portly.

He just looks quite ordinary.

And you sort of think has he come in
to the right debate?

Should he even be in here?

He's probably just come out for a
paper and ended up in't studio.

Now, listen... You're out on bail,
aren't you?

Now, John...

You are making... Isn't that true?
You're out on bail for blackmail!

As a host, you're trying to deal
with fires

on a number of different levels.

So let him answer...
Making a laughing stock of yourself!

You are a criminal, and you're a
blackmailer.

So you've got the contributors
doing one thing,

then you've got the audience members
also contributing and all trying

to sound reasonable...

Please, could you be quiet?

Let him answer the point,
otherwise we get nowhere.

...until such time as nobody sounds
reasonable

and they're just shouting
at each other.

I work as an administrator
in the fur trade, and I'm not

too involved with the farming
and not too involved

with the, erm, the trade side.
No blood on your hands, you mean.

Just listening to your
allegations... Shut up, blackmailer.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS
Just listening to your allegations
of cruelty...

So then there's this poor woman
who's trying to talk about the fact

that she has worked in the
fur trade,

and she's trying to discuss it
and nobody's listening to her.

Sorry, excuse me - people at home
watching this debate

get no satisfaction...
I hope they do.

I would like them to
know what sort of a person he is.

You've made that point 50-odd times.
We all know it.

You know, he was talking over
people, people talking over it.

Just a minute, you two. Excuse me.

If there's any trouble, you'll
get thrown out.

Let this lady speak.
And that includes you.

To be fair to Anna,

she wanted to let the poor lady
on the left have her say.

Let this lady speak.

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

And then, all of a sudden,
off he goes.

On your way. All right.

Oi, oi, oi!

Didn't see that coming.

It's fisticuffs.

The guy that kicks off,
you just don't expect it.

He just looks like anyone's uncle,
doesn't he?

Butter wouldn't melt. Uncle Ronnie.

And he's not messing about, is he?

He's straight over.

And he starts ragging that man
around.

Gosh, this is just... It's chaos!

Now, just a minute.
I am not having this. Now come on...

I'm going, I'm going, OK?
Are you going to hit me?

Are you going to hit me? Out!

Hoping for a lively debate,

the producers now had a live show
that descended into chaos.

You know, we all like to watch
something where you just go,

"Oof! Ah! Ooh! Ugh..."

That's what we want, isn't it?

But there's a point at which
you suddenly think, "Hey, hold on!

"What is going on?"

For me, the key to a debate is not
just having an argument,

it's being able to listen.

The problem with this is no-one's
got time to listen to anybody else

and everybody's just cutting
each other up.

And that's why this kicks off.

Oi, oi, oi!

Anna's reaction -

even though she's prim and proper,
she's not taking any messing.

Now, come on... I'm going, I'm
going, OK? Are you going to hit me?

I just love the fact that Anna's
having none of it.

Oi, boys,
I'm not having this on my show.

Out!

Phwoar! Don't mess with Anna Soubry!

No. Sit down.

You became the sort of rather posh

Peggy Mitchell, didn't she?

It wasn't, "Get out of my pub!"

She was like,
"Get out of my debate."

Right. Out.

I thought Anna dealt with that
extraordinarily well.

In that situation,
you get a surge of adrenaline,

so you're in your
fight or flight mode

and you're aware that you're in
a TV studio,

and you have to keep on talking.

It's really sad that you cannot
have a civilised debate.

I mean, we look at those squabbling,
screaming people,

ranting and raving it -

it was the perfect, I guess,
apprenticeship before she went

into the House of Commons,
wasn't it, really?

She would make a good bouncer,
would Anna,

because she gets straight in there.

I wouldn't mess with her.

Out!

Still to come...

Can you say that name?

...a TV shopping presenter
is pranked live on air...

Jack Mioff.

Oh!

Oh, come on.

It's quite a good one.

...and Krishnan Guru-Murthy has some
alarming news on Channel 4.

We may actually have to evacuate
the building.

Now, in real life, you run!

You don't want to be sitting in a
burning building

while everybody else has left it.

Television can go horribly
wrong any time.

But when it's live, there
are all manner of pitfalls,

especially on channels
that try to sell us stuff.

Shopping channels.
They're an interesting breed.

They're big everywhere.

They're big in the States,
they're big here in the UK.

To host a shopping channel
requires special talents.

I always salute
all of those presenters.

You're talking for so long
but about such menial things.

So it's like, talk for an hour
about a Hoover.

And don't forget - you've got
an incredible market-beating price.

If you are shopping elsewhere,
you're not getting the extras.

This is an exclusive bundle with us.

People ask how difficult
it is to talk ad nauseum on a TV

shopping channel, just nonstop.

They have to be brilliant
because they have to flog stuff

all day long.

Well, let me tell you, I can talk
the hind led...

People often ask how long...

It's a lot harder than you think.

Elsewhere, you could go to Very -
£280 there,

you can go to E Cock...

...Shop. I don't know why
I'm struggling with that so much!

You just cringe.

Did she? Oh, she did, cos she
recognised that she said that
wrong.

I do apologise!

They're very close.
They're both, you know, it's...

...cock/cook.

The amount of times that I or
a co-presenter has done a

slip of the tongue.

You just have to try not
to actually make a big deal of it.

E-cook-shop. I can't believe you
went there again.

Is it me or is that quite a
mouthful?

CAMERA CREW LAUGH

The chef loses the plot.

She loses the plot.

She doesn't mean it in the context,
but then it's so funny.

You can't... You can't write it.

Being in control of your mouth
is only half the battle.

You've got to watch out for
the viewers, too.

We love the fact that this is
raised.

And they're trying to sell some
spatulas.

A spatula for £40.

£40!

Just had an e-mail.
"Hi, guys.

"Is the froacher dishwasher-safe?"
Yes.

We were interacting with
the audience.

We were extolling the virtues
of products.

And, of course, live e-mails
were coming through.

Oh, we've just had another e-mail.
We've got...

Oh...

And I looked at the name.

HE STUTTERS

Can you say that name?

Jack Mioff.

Oh!

Oh, come on.

Working in radio as well,
that is my biggest fear.

When you're presenting a show
like that and you ask people

that are watching to give
you feedback that you're going

to read out live on air...

...you're asking for trouble.

The 16-year-old version of me
was probably doing that exact thing.

And I was asking you for
pronunciation.

HE LAUGHS

He reads this name and obviously
thinks,

I know exactly what that is, but
you're not going to be sharp enough.

It just looked like a real name.

And I thought,
how do you pronounce that?

I walked straight into that!

I mean, I'd have done the same
thing, cos I'm so gullible.

It's such a classic childish thing.

Jack Mioff. Oh!

It's quite a good one.

I know a few Jacks,
but I don't know any Mioffs.

Not only that, you've got
props to deal with.

I've done them before,
and it is live

and you are demonstrating products.

This is the square label.

And they're chatting away and,
"Ooh, isn't it lovely," and...

I've done a lot
of cutting already.

CRASH

THEY GIGGLE

Bang!

I'm not really selling this,
am I?

Because it's on the floor now,
and it's broken.

Now... it wouldn't have fallen
out of the machine if Nancy hadn't

have just given it a little nudge.

She said that someone had
knocked it. And she hadn't.

That's just a lie.

Then there's this little hand that
comes up from nowhere.

Erm, Tom, thank you.
That was really, really kind.

Magic Hands was down there
in a flash.

There needs to be a lot
of love for floor managers.

They call them Magic Hands
because when things go wrong,

Magic Hands always makes it better!

Working with props,

it's an accident waiting to happen.

They've got these receptacles
for holding beads.

And you can put one on top
of the other, and over and under,

and screw it that way,
screw it that way.

I do struggle with lids and
what have you...

Balls everywhere.

There's nothing really much
you can do.

Great comedy timing, right there.

SHE SIGHS

That... That was...

Yeah. There you go.

You can tell she's just pissed.

She's just so angry that she did it,
she doesn't even know what to say.

...lids and what have you...

Completely defying the purpose of
what it was supposed to actually do,

was keep things organised.

Who's going to pick up them
little balls?

It's not going to be her, is it?

In the early 19805.

And since 1998, one of the most
recognisable faces

on the daily bulletins
has been Krishnan Guru-Murthy.

Krishnan Guru-Murthy is

an established presenter
on Channel 4.

He's the face of the news.

In 2008, when the topic of eco towns

and greener housing
was being discussed,

who better to interview
the Housing Minister live on air

than Krishnan?

Joining me now from Westminster...
ALARM BLARES

...is the Housing Minister,
Caroline Flint.

Is it true that people in these
new towns could have to pay hundreds

of pounds extra every year?

When Krishnan is hosting the news,
I always feel really safe.

He's the consummate professional.

He always stays calm.

He's one of them that you can trust.

And you always see him
when you put on your TV.

Well, if you look at communities
around the country, parish

councils, for example...

He's interviewing Caroline Flint
down the line,

so she's not in the studio.

...it's certainly not a top
down request from Government.

Right, but it is possible.

I should just... If I can break off
for a second,

you and our viewers at home
maybe hearing a fire alarm...

Oh, right... here in our building.

Krishnan Guru-Murthy is mid flow
when he hears the fire alarm.

Now, in real life, you run!

He's not panicking.
He's there to a job.

I apologise for that.

And we're trying to find out
whether it's real or not...

Well, I'm not in your building so I
won't worry about it.

I hope we don't have to run out.

She doesn't care. She's fine.

She's all right, Jack.

I hope we don't have to run out
in the middle of this interview.

The other... the other question,
of course...

He just continues interviewing
Caroline.

It's not Friday 10am,
so it's not a test.

We are supposed to hear a fire alarm
and leave - for obvious reasons.

Are we burning?

ALARM CONTINUES
Presumably the whole plan is
going to be up for legal challenge.

I think I'd have just said,
"Sorry, the fire alarm's going.

"I'm going to get out of here."

Composure. He SMELLS of composure.

He's like a captain
on a sinking ship.

ALARM CONTINUES
And you're facing sort of criticism
on all fronts at the moment.

We've had a couple of developers
pull out of a couple of projects...

You can see him starting
to look a bit agitated.

You don't want to be sitting
in a burning building while

everybody else has left it.

He's also trying to be quite polite
cos he doesn't want to interrupt

her cos she's kind of in mid flow.

ALARM CONTINUES
And I think the building...
Caroline... the building industry

recognised that we need
greener housing as well.

Eco towns... Caroline Flint...
..are one part of the solution

to providing for that. Thank you.
I'm really sorry to cut you off.

That's all right. I apologise.
But, unfortunately,

the fire alarm means that, erm,
we do have some problems here

at ITN this lunchtime.

Somebody says in Krishnan's ear,

"You really need to go.
This is a real alarm. Get out!"

"Wrap this up NOW!"

We're going to take a break now.

We may or may not return
after that because we may actually

have to evacuate the building.

This is a first,
certainly in my career.

It continued as long as he could.

He handles it really, really well.

When we do come back,
if we come back,

we will have the business news
and more economic news for you.

But hopefully see you...
CHANNEL 4 NEWS THEME PLAYS

I'm out of here!

Better safe than sorry.

Krishnan Guru-Murthy was,
as I understand it,

the last person out the building.

As Krishnan left, the nation
could only wonder

whether he would make it
back on air that night.

He didn't return.

Viewers were left news-less.

The newsreader's sharp exit

didn't go unnoticed
by the national press.

Instead of presenting the news,
he ended up making the news.

ALARM CONTINUES
We will have the business news
and more economic news for you.

But hopefully see you...

He's just unflappable.
Shaken, not stirred.

He should be the next James Bond.

JAMES BOND STING PLAYS

Local news stations are always
looking for an exciting twist

to grab their viewers' attention.

So, in 2017, when Fox 5's
Matt Johnson was presenting

from a jetty at the
San Diego Boat Show,

what better way to open the news
hour than with a man on a jet pack?

I'm live here at the San Diego
Yacht and Boat Show.

Good morning, everybody.
I'm hanging out with my friend John.

The thing about being in the field

is that you want to make
it look sexy.

And this is going to be a

really exciting start
to this particular segment.

Someone sat down and thought, "You
know what? I've got ingenious idea."

"Let's get this guy in a jetpack

"and we'll have him advertise
this boat show."

This is going to be epic.

Matt's stood with jet pack guy.
He's ready.

This is the big moment.

It's the grin on his face.
He's going to nail this.

All his friends are watching
back home.

The guy is going to finish it up,

and we're just going to see
this guy shoot off into the sky.

The moment has come.

You can feel it. The anticipation.

Facebook's going to go wild.

I am hanging out with my friend
John.

Fox 5 Morning News starts.
Look over there.

And it starts right now!

Slap down!

HE SIGHS

He goes right into the water.

Not so great.

Epic fail.

Look over there.
And it starts right now.

Straight away, into the water,

nearly taking the presenter
with him.

It's just a complete anti-climax.

He's got to focus on saying his line
and looking at the camera.

Look over there.
And it starts right now.

He's nailed the line.

All he had to do was nail
the jetpack.

The people in the studio
are like, "What?"

They have lost it.

Is he going to be OK?

Is he going to come up
out of the water or not?

Oh, my God...!

Here he comes!

What is that?!

Like a god, out of the water.

What is that?!

Flying up with a big smile
on his face.

And you can see on his face,

it's better than any sexual
encounter he's ever had.

What is that?!

Can someone please tell me
what's going on?

He rose like an eagle!

He's a phoenix!

I think he felt like Superman
when he came back out.

It was like...
# Da, da, da! #

He recovered like a pro.

Cherry on the top. Perfect.

Oh... my God!

It's like, you know what -
I'm not having this.

I'm going to show you that
I CAN jet pack.

Despite the majestic rise
from the ashes,

the disastrous launch attempt was
what made the news,

and Fox 5's failed Bond-style
jetpack stunt

ended up splashed
across the tabloids.

And the reason for the epic fail?

John had pressed the kill switch
instead of the throttle.

Starts right now!

It's somebody with too much
time on their hands,

who's obviously not having
enough sex.

He needs to just go out
and have a drink.

Interviewing a man on a jet ski
is easy,

but mega-stars are something else.

Unlike the bright and sunny graphics
that accompany the KTLA morning news

show, an interview by the usually
unflappable showbiz reporter

Sam Rubin with Samuel I Jackson
would leave a rather dark cloud

over the studio.

Samuel I Jackson went on KTLA,
which is the local Los Angeles

station, to promote a movie.

I am really snooty and sneery
about "entertainment correspondents"

and about all this celebrity
culture.

But he hadn't really actually done
all of his homework.

He was a little bit careless.

I tell you what, working for
Marvel, the Super Bowl commercial,

did you get a lot of reaction to
that Super Bowl commercial?

What Super Bowl commercial?

Oh, you know what?
I... my mistake. I...

See, you're as crazy
as the people on Twitter.

Right... I'm not Laurence Fishburne!

How stupid must he feel
to have mistaken Samuel LJackson

for Laurence Fishburne and go
through the whole interview

with Samuel I Jackson
about Samuel I Jackson

in a movie Samuel LJackson's in,

and then refer to a commercial
that Laurence Fishburne is in?

Maybe he had done one in Korea
somewhere.

And, you know, he's thinking,
does he know about that?

That's my fault.
I know that. That was my fault.

My mistake. You know what?

We don't all look alike.

We might be all black and famous,

but we all don't look alike!
I am... I am guilty...

He was actually remarkably amiable,
considering that it was the most

racist thing that this guy
could have done.

You're the entertainment reporter?!
I know.

You're the entertainment reporter
for this station?

And you don't know the difference
between me and Laurence Fishburne?

I know... My mistake. My mistake.
I apologise.

Don't ever mistaken me for
Laurence Fishburne,

because I will end your career.

Samuel I Jackson won't let him
off the hook.

Oh, you going to try to wiggle
out of this?

I'm not letting you wiggle
out of this.

You're not going to wiggle
out of this.

And the guy was like,
"Oh, but you know, erm..."

No, no, no, no.

"Oh, but what about...?"
No, no, no, no, no.

You're not going to wiggle
out of that.

Let's talk about RoboCop.

Oh, hell no!

LAUGHTER

Really?

Really?!

My... I apologise.
I'm the other guy.

Here was somebody who screwed
up wonderfully.

He's Samuel I Jackson, after all.

Learn it.

There's more than one black guy
doing a commercial.

There is. No question about that.

I'm the "What's in your wallet?"
black guy. OK.

He's the car black guy.
There it is.

Morgan Freeman is the
other credit card black guy.

You only hear his voice, though,

so you probably won't confuse
HIM with Laurence Fishburne.

You're exac... You're a...
You're 100% right.

And he just won't let it go.
He won't let it go till the end.

And I don't blame him.

Do we want to do a list
of all the people that you're not?

And I've actually never done
a McDonald's

or a Kentucky Fried Chicken
commercial.

I know that's surprising.
Right.

Fair enough. Fair enough.

That's, like, brilliant.

It's such a great piece
of television going wrong.

Still to come,

it's totes cringe when one girl
has trouble singing aloud..

SHE SINGS BADLY

...and the Six O'clock News
has some unwanted guests.

WHOOPING
I do apologise if you're hearing

quite a lot of noise
in this studio at the moment.

Ooh, Lordy! Something seems to
have appeared to have gone wrong!

MUSIC: My Favourite Waste of Time
by Owen Paul

Most TV shows preferred artists
to mime,

but lip-syncing to backing tracks
on live TV

isn't without pitfalls either.

Everybody just always mimed
to a backing track.

Owen Paul had one major hit,
which is My Favourite Waste of Time,

which we can all sing.

If you put it on, everybody'll
start, "Oh, yeah, I remember that!"

In 1986, Scottish pop heart-throb
Owen Paul experienced the mother

of all backing track blunders.

Pebble Mill was a daytime TV show,

a little bit like The One Show
is today.

It covered the... depressing topics
of the time -

how to make a pina colada for your
barbecue, that sort of thing.

Owen Paul at Pebble Mill
has got to be

one of the most classic
bits of telly.

And will you welcome, please,
a young man who's about to have a

big success in the charts
with his latest single,

Owen Paul, and
My Favourite Waste of Time.

It was my first national
television

with Favourite Waste of Time.

I wasn't in the charts.

Or I was just outside the charts.

So it was very, very important
for me that it worked well,

which it clearly didn't.

# My...

# You're my favourite waste of time

# My...

# Baby, you're my favourite
waste of time. #

He misses the cue, for some reason -
maybe that he didn't hear the sound

or something didn't happen at the
front of this performance.

So he does what a lot of people
would do, which is,

"I'lljust wait
for them to cue it again."

# Here I am
I'm playing daydreaming fool... #

He doesn't communicate at all -
he just stands there.

I've never seen anybody miss a cue
for that length of time, though.

I mean, she quite clearly said,
"Owen Paul."

And he just stood there, going...

# You're the one that I love
cos you're

# My... #

If you were watching that,

you can hear the track
if you're a viewer.

But to me, there was just deathly
silence.

# My... #

Back in those days, there
wasn't there was none of the

in-ear monitoring or anything.
I just could not hear the track.

And then, after a while,
I was not going to join in

even if it came back on.

It's almost like someone's sort
of hit the pause button.

It went properly tits up.

There was chaos.
People running around the back.

Paul Coia, the presenter, running up
and down to my right.

I could see all that.

I could hear my band guys going,
"What are we going to do?"

I could hear all this.

We were subjected to watching
these guys just standing in a pretty

unattractive exterior of
Pebble Mill, let's face it.

It was a bit like performing in an
NCP car park.

It had all that sort of glamour
and feel to it, you know?

# ..playing daydreaming
fool again. #

The ground to swallow me up - just
doesn't cover it, really.

# Who's got my head in the
clouds above... #

I just thought, "Oh, my lord,"
and this is going on and on.

And I could still see the red light.
I just thought, "Oh...

"They're going to keep filming this.
This is not good

"This is not good."

Maybe his favourite waste of time
was just turning up to live
broadcasts

and just not singing. Maybe that is
his favourite waste of time.

I mean, it is a massive
waste of time, isn't it?

I mean, there's no point in doing
that, surely.

Oh, the irony of that song.

When you unpick the lyrics
it's beautiful.

# Baby, you're my favourite
waste of time. #

When performing live in the studio,

there is no place to hide
when things break down.

If the technology cocks up,
it can leave some of the biggest

and best pop acts sounding
like a bag of cats.

And even talent show judges can fall
foul of technical mishaps.

When X Factor's Cheryl performed
at Stand Up to Cancer,

her breathless performance, which
she blamed on a microphone blunder,

led to accusations that
she was miming.

Cheryl was "singing"...

...and then it all when
disastrously wrong.

It's Cheryl!
SCREAMING

To begin with, she is doing
what most people do when they mime.

They sing a little bit, and they do
their breathing, and...

# They might sing
a little bit of the song. #

Unfortunately, the backing track
doesn't come with vocals

and apparently neither does she.

BREATHILY: # How d'you think
I feel... #

BREATHILY: # How d'you think
I feel... NAME!

TUNELESSLY: # Haven't you confused
by the way I... change. #

Someone hasn't
put on the right track,

so it's just the backing track
that's playing with no vocal.

BREATHY AND TUNELESS: # My name
Say my name, baby. #

It sounds like someone's overdubbed
Cheryl Cole with, like,

someone deliberately singing badly,

and actually it's just
Cheryl Cole singing,

which is really embarrassing.

BREATHY MUMBLING

Sounded like a fire in a pet shop,
didn't it?

Call my name. Oh, no. Geordie.
North-east. Doing her best.

Breathy, useless, horrible.

I mean, I noticed that when she put
her hand in her ear,

I'm not sure if somebody
was talking to her.

And she just switches straight away
to, "OK, I'd better sing."

# How d'you think I feel
when you call my name?

# You got me confused
by the way I... #

I have actually watched this clip
a number of times and thought

did they manage to somehow
get her vocal

on that track halfway through?

But then you can hear that it's live
cos you can hear her breathing.

# I...

# I love you too much to let go

# How d'you think I feel when you
call my name? #

She really CAN sing.

And this proves
it above anything else.

Football legend George Best put
a broadcasting legend to the test

when appearing on the
chat show Wogan.

Terry Wogan recorded 1,131
chat shows.

Most of them, probably about 95%
of them, were live.

And as soon as George Best walks on,
you can see

Terry knows he's in trouble, because
someone has allowed George Best

to get a drink.

I don't know who was dressing him
up, but he turned up

like, he was wearing everything
that was green, and he though,

"Oh, just project stuff on me.

"I don't think I'll wear
any clothes tonight,

"I'll let the Wogan show decide."

Why they didn't keep him away from
hospitality beforehand,

I do not know.

But... there's a part of me that
thinks probably they encouraged him

because they knew that this
would create a moment

of television to remember forever.

And at the beginning, the audience
didn't know.

So the audience would be doing
this kind of laughing at everything

without really knowing
that this man was drunk.

It's not nice to be in prison. No.

LAUGHTER

What are you laughing at?

These people don't know what they're
laughing at, half the time.

So it was a kind of car crash
waiting to happen.

Terry Wogan is playing it really
cleverly cos he's asking him

some questions where George Best
could go either way.

So it's a very well-managed
bit of live TV.

Ladies are still important, yeah.

LAUGHTER

They keep laughing. I don't.
LAUGHTER

What about the booze?
Is that important to you?

The booze is still important,
yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

LAUGHTER

Get off.

Terry wrestles with the
interview as best he can.

He really... He tries very, very
hard indeed.

It's a difficult experience
for all of them,

and it's a difficult experience
for us watching.

They've got no
idea what they're doing.

And they keep bringing these
mangers in,

who've got no idea
what they're talking about.

And what they're...

I mean, they talk a load of...

Please.
LAUGHTER

You could tell Terry was
uncomfortable,

because Terry had a little habit.

He had a habit of going, "Yeah..."

Just giving himself a little bit
of thinking time.

"Yeah..."

And then a beat.

And that couple of seconds would
give him time to think of another

question or to react to what
George had just said.

He knows he's in trouble,
but he carries

on with the interview manfully.

And then there was that killer
question at the end.

Using his cheeky Irish charm,

Best had the audience in the
palm of his hand.

Terry, I like screwing, all right?

LAUGHTER

OK. All right.

So what do you do with your time
these days?

I screw. I see.
LAUGHTER

Ladies and gentlemen, George Best.

Ancl Terry knows,
"I can't go any further with this,"

and wraps up the interview and says,
"Thank you very much, George Best,"

cos there's nowhere you can go.

1988 saw a case of the news
making the news

when the BBC suffered
a serious security breach.

Newsreaders Nicholas Witchell
and Sue Lawley came under siege

from gay protesters.

The Six O'clock News from the BBC,

with Sue Lawley
and Nicholas WitchelL

Oh, and it's our favourite
newsreaders,

Nicholas Witchell and Sue Lawley.

Brilliant. It's all going well.

Suddenly you hear this noise
in the background.

"Oi! Hey, you! Oh! Eh..."

...challenge to the poll tax.
SHOUTING OFF-SCREEN

Tory rebels have said...

You can just hear...
HIGH-PITCHED MUFFLED NOISE

...in the background.

Another prosecution involving
undercover police...
SHOUTING INTENSIFIES

...and alleged football
hooligans has collapsed.

No evidence was offered.

I can remember it. You could hear
the Six O'clock News people

sort of, you know, their voices
rising in some sort of panic.

"What's going on?"

...while the closed cones signal a
lot more chaos this summer.

And then what sounds like people
being heavily muffled.

I would imagine
they were being sat on.

And I do apologise if you're hearing
quite a lot of noise...

SHOUTING CONTINUES
..in this studio at the moment.

I'm afraid that we have rather
been invaded by some people

who we hope to be removing
very shortly.

It was just hilarious.

It was like a sketch.

Sue Lawley held it together
beautifully.

That's why she presented the news.

You had to be able to do...
Anything could happen

and you'd have to be able
to just carry on,

in a perfect RP accent.

"Oh, lordy, something seems to have
appeared to have gone wrong."

I'm afraid that we have rather
been invaded by some people

who we hope to be removing
very shortly.

Well, that's TV going all wrong
because, you know, you're not meant

to be doing...

You're not meant to be having news
in your studio.

The news is seen as kind of,
you know, we look over the globe

and tell you everything
that is important to you.

And then suddenly, right, it's like,
you know, fighting lesbians

wrestling with your presenters,
going, "Whoa!"

Well, this was one of those
occasions, rare occasions,

thank goodness, where the news
makes the news.

So the Six O'clock News became
the Nine O'clock News

and Michael Burke had to
report on it.

They were protesting against
a new law, which comes into effect

at midnight, stopping local councils
from promoting homosexuality.

And this was all to do with
Clause 28 that was coming in,

which was to ban the promotion of
homosexuality in any way

from any council platform.

Good evening, the headlines at six
o'clock - in the House of Lords...
SHOUTING

I don't know how they got in there.
That's just incredible.

They must have had to jump
through loops and over so much

security to get into the studio.

Good for them.

And then they...

They tethered themselves to various
bits of equipment.

MICHAEL BURKE: Outside the studio,

one woman who had handcuffed herself
to camera cables was cut free.

Lovely. Thanks very much.

Another and the piece of studio
furniture she'd handcuffed herself

to were parted in a corridor.

Led away, the women repeated their
protest.

We're protesting about rights
for lesbian and gay people.

I think people forgot
what the protest was about,

and it became much more of an issue
about how the BBC TV news studio

could be invaded.

Tony Hall, who was the head of news
at that time, found himself

having to go on the next BBC
bulletin to defend

what had happened at the BBC.

Well, what happened this evening
was intolerable.

There'll be a proper inquiry
and we'll make sure

that this doesn't happen again
on any of our news programmes.

It was TV going wrong.

That was a massive security breach.

I suppose was forgivable then.

It was absolutely appalling.

You would never, ever believe
it now.

Still to come,

a Spanish paratrooper is left
flagging after

a right royal cock-up on live TV...

Oh... That's got to be painful.

...and an unwelcome guest hogs
the limelight

on Good Morning Greece.

I'm live on TV.

This pig is not giving up.

World TV now,

and when it comes to breaking news,
any self-respecting

reporter wants to be there
in the thick of it.

It's not just one street
that's flooded in this area.

It is street after street.

Nowadays you get 24-hour
rolling news.

You've got to fill it somehow.

And in November 2019, when overnight
storms flooded the town of Kinetta

in western Greece, Lazos Mantikos
was there to cover the tragedy

for Good Morning Greece.

I went to Kinetta town,
doing the late report.

We have a very bad
situation there.

A lot of flooding in houses
and cars.

He's there, right there,
right at the cutting edge.

He's ready to report.

I'm waiting to do the live TV,
to explain all the situation there.

He's got his facts ready.
As they've thrown to him...

Back in the studio,

the host is introducing Lazos.

There'll be warning
you in your earpiece.

"Here we are. We're coming to you.
Five, four, three, two, one.

"And off you go."

PIG GRUNTING

Aargh!

Suddenly, oh, my God,

I see in front of me one big pig.

Ooh, nice pig.

I don't know where the pig's
come from.

It's a very big pig, by the way.

I'm live on TV.

The pig, unfortunately,
doesn't care.

I don't have time to doing nothing.

I run.

The pig was sniffing him
and pushing him and pulling him.

The pig not stop
to follow me.

I scared. Very scared.

And this pig is not giving up.

Bless Lazos. He's trying his best.

I don't feel very good because I go
there for a very serious story

and the pig confuses
all this situation.

Lazos is trying so hard to
keep it neutral

and just keep it professional.

He's just trying to somehow
make some kind of sense,

having this giant pig
up his backside.

Aargh!

In his ear feed, he can hear
his colleagues wetting themselves.

I love at me if I see
this situation.

I mean, I don't know why they keep
on saying it's a female pig,

as though that makes it any better.

But Lazos was concerned this
could be the end of his career

as a TV journalist.

Would I have a
problem with my boss?

Because I go there for a very
serious story

and then I have attack
from the pig.

I don't have time to say for
this serious story.

Lazos and the pushy porker
were a headline-writer's dream

and an instant internet hit.

News media all over the world now
wanted to speak to Lazos,

but for all the wrong reasons.

For two minutes video,

I hear my name in worldwide
channels.

China. Mexico.

Africa. Australia. America.

Kazakhstan.

I am a reporter for serious stories
but all people, they answer me,

"You are reporter with a pig?"

"Oh, yes, I am me. Is crazy time."

Star is the pig, not me.

That's the thing that everyone's
going to be talking about.

Did you see
Good Morning Greece?"

The story was such a hit
that Lazos returned

to reunite with his co-star.

I love this pig.

I have on my T-shirt, you see it?

Is Greek Miss Piggy.

The real name is Marika,

and I love her.

According to the farmer, Marika
the pig was actually feeling amorous

after swallowing a lot of salt
water during the flood.

It happened for this story, that
the farmer don't kill the pig

because is very famous now.

Is crazy for me, this.

Is crazy, but I like.

After his failed report, Lazos
was inundated with fan mail

from all over the world.

Now people send me only pigs.

Crazy time for me, believe me.

News and current affairs programmes
around the world

expect heated debates.

RAISED VOICES

But in 2014, a heavyweight
discussion between journalists live

on Jordanian TV turned into
a heavyweight slugfest.

RAISED VOICES

This was the most amazing occasion.

You know, I've done lots of
programmes where people

have got their dander up.

The insults then turned
into a shocking on-air fight

and went viral on YouTube.

Neither of them are listening
to the other.

They're just bellowing at
each other.

But it's that magic moment
when they start standing up

and brawling, and then demolishing
the studio furniture.

The table is clearly IKEA,

and you've just got
grown men holding a table top.

SHOUTING CONTINUES

That is one situation where
the cameras shouldn't pan out.

You shouldn't pan out to see
the table falling apart.

Obviously, these people
feel very strongly

about what they are arguing about.

To be honest, I thought I was
watching the WWF.

Could have been a real knock-down,
drag out, Rocky V kind of moment.

The pull, it's like... like a dance.

The traditional
Jordanian table pull.

It goes back many centuries
in their culture.

It's how they resolve dispute.

A ritual MDF dance.

I would probably put them in two
separate rooms and just let them

speak on Skype.

That's probably the best way
to do it.

Live TV broadcasts don't come much
bigger than a national event,

with audiences glued to
their tellies.

Oh, then she loved those big
parades and big celebrations.

Hours of meticulous practice ensure
the event passes with military

precision, so the pressure
is on to make sure that nothing

goes horribly wrong.

Every October the 12th, Spain closes
down for their National Day parade,

televised live by national
broadcaster TVE.

And in 2019, millions watched at
home as the ceremony unfolded live.

It's the national day of Spain.

It's this big prestigious event,

and it's celebratory,
and everyone's happy.

A lot of very, very important
people are at this event.

You have royalty,
you have dignitaries.

King's there, Queen's there,
President's there.

You've got people lining
the streets.

It's a big deal.

Paratrooper Corporal Luis Fernando
Pozo had the honour of

delivering the national flag,

and cameras were everywhere, ready
to capture the thrilling moment.

It's such a big responsibility.

You're proud of doing something
like that.

He's clone 600 successfuljumps.

So you think, he's got this.
Pozo has got this.

The drama of the flag will envelop
the whole community.

Here he comes.

Oh, look at that -

the flag flapping in the breeze.

He's flying through the sky,

sees all these people, thousands
waiting for him to land.

Everyone's watching him,
they're applauding.

The descent is beautiful.

It was almost like a Superman
moment.

CROWD GASPS

Ouch! There's a lamppost!

Oh... That's got to be painful.

Ugh...

Ruined Spain's day.

It looks like it should have
been in a cartoon.

It looks like it should have
had sound effects.

He should have swung
in and been like "woop-woop-woop"

and then "BONG!"

SLIDE WHISTLE

REVERBERATING CRASH

P020 is a bozo.

CUCKOOS CHIRPING

Tries to take his goggles and
his helmet off,

and I'm thinking, mate,
keep that on -

nobody needs to know who you are
at this point.

It cuts to the king who looks
so disappointed.

He's so getting fired in the
morning.

You're stuck there in your parachute
with nowhere to go.

He sits there like a cat in the tree
for a good five minutes.

They're kind of slow clapping him,
like we do in a restaurant,

if a waiter drops something.

I thought someone would come
and help him down or something,

but they just left him
hanging there.

I think I would have just thrown my
arms up and shouted "Spain!"

And everyone would have erupted.
Job clone.

With millions watching at home,

Luis Pozo's failed James Bond moment
had left the ceremony in chaos.

Having been dangling for what must
have seemed an eternity,

the hapless paratrooper
was eventually rescued

from his TV nightmare.

Zzzz...

Nrrrrrrrr...
And up it comes.

And he meekly goes down in this big
giant wheelie bin.

"Jump in this bin - you're rubbish."

He's full of shame.

"No, you ain't seen me, right?"

Corporal Pozo's ceremonial cock-up
went viral as millions shared his

embarrassment around the globe.

Thankfully, he wasn't hurt.

Just a dent in his pride,
his reputation,

and the lamppost.

Can you just imagine the
amount of stick

this guy is going to get
when he gets back to his squadron?

That couldn't have been more
embarrassing for him.

You know what - it happens,
doesn't it?

We've all flown out of planes
and parachutes

and hit lampposts at points.

You couldn't write it.

It just should not have happened.

He should've practised.

In 2010, millions of viewers tuned
in to watch the live final result

of Australia's Next Top Model,

and with expectation
at an all-time high,

it was absolutely essential
that the result was 100% correct,

as host Sarah Murdoch
soon found out.

We went along to the live final
of Australia's Next Top Model,

and we were sat in the audience.

It was, you know, it was a
huge affair.

This was on live primetime
television.

I think we even got a goody bag,
if I remember rightly - something

to munch on because it went
on for hours.

I've never seen anything that's
this completely awkward.

So, crunch time came.

It was between Amanda and Kelsey.

As the tension mounted, finalists
Amanda and Kelsey

stood nervously awaiting the result,

while Sarah Murdoch kept
the suspense going.

It all comes down to this moment.

So the winner,

and Australia's Next Top Model
for 2010 is...

Cue dramatic pause for a little bit.

And eventually she said

Kelsey, to which all our mouth
dropped, we were like, "Oh, OK."

It's you, Kelsey.

CHEERING

It was like party poppers,
explosions.

"Thank you to my mum, my dad,
auntie, my nan..."

And we were still clapping.

I want to thank the runners up,
they've been amazing,

and all the girls for keeping me
on my toes!

And this really heartfelt
speech was said.

And then suddenly there was
this moment on the presenter's face,

like she'd left the iron on.

She was like, "Oh..."

Oh, my God.
I don't know what to say right now.

I'm feeling a bit sick about this.

No...

The moment that she was obviously
told in her ear,

you saw this blind panic come
across her face... No...

...her eyes kind of widened,
like rabbit in a headlight.

This was brilliant.

The awkwardness was priceless.

She looked a little sick
and a little uncomfortable.

This is not...
This was a complete accident.

I'm so sorry. It's Amanda.
I'm so sorry.

GASPS AND SQUEALS

It was fed to me wrong.

Never have I been in a situation
where the presenter's

got it SO wrong.

I love that she blamed
live TV as well.

It's OK... This is what happens when
you have live TV, folks.

I'm so sorry. It's OK.

This is... This is insane.

Insane, insane, insane.

No, it's not.

Every other show manages
to get it right.

I should imagine that behind
the scenes they were trying

to work out

had she been given the wrong
name by us?

Had we fed her the wrong name?

Has she said the wrong name?

IS it the wrong name?

Now, call me a cynic, but she was
fed the information two minutes

after my hands were red raw
clapping.

So it was like, someone backstage
must have literally been going,

"Shall fess up? No, I won't.
Shall I fess up?"

So by the time they kind of
figured it all out,

it was probably at least two minutes
before she was given the right name

to be told, "Look, we've made
a mistake."

It's an honest mistake. It's fine!

It's all right, Sarah. It's fine!

Woo!

Kelsey was like,
"Don't worry about it."

I was like, that is just
the politest, most pissed off

"Don't worry about it"
I've ever seen.

Despite the fact that the show
decided to give Kelsey the trip

to New York and $25,000
as compensation and a big apology -

yeah, it was a nice gesture.

But, no, it's not enough.

Every time she gets the call
for a gig, she's probably like,

"Are you sure? Can you
double-double check that it's me...

"..and not that bitch Amanda?"

Announcing the wrong winner.

No, that's not a pretty sight.

In 2015, the technology
wasn't to blame

when international beauty pageant
Miss Universe host Steve Harvey

crowned the wrong Miss

in front of half a billion
viewers.

These hosts, what I love about them
is, they're so pampered,

they're so used to being told
they're right all the time.

But in a live studio audience,
it just won't cut it.

You're thrown
to the friggin' lions.

This was an enormous night.

I mean, you don't get much bigger
than this huge beauty pageant,

humungous stage, glitzy,
glamorous, all the rest of it.

This is the one you want
to win, right?

Everyone is wanting this.

So it's now between Miss Colombia
and Miss Philippines.

The tension is high. They're holding
hands in the middle...

Miss Universe 2015 is...

Colombia!

CROWD CHEER

The crowd goes wild. She's there.
She's got the crown on.

She looks so pretty.

She had, like, the glitter cannons
and the streamers

and everyone going mad for her.

And then you see the host just creep
onto the stage.

He really does just kind of
creeps in like this and creeps up.

You know, "Ladies and gentlemen,
I've... I've made a mistake".

I have to apologise.

CONFUSED SCREAMING

The first runner-up is Colombia.

CROWD SCREAM AGAIN

I don't think she realised
actually what had happened

and that she had won.

It was just such a balls-up.

He read out the name of the first
runner-up!

Like, this would never happen on
RuPaul's Drag Race, Steve Harvey.

This is exactly what's on the card.

I will take responsibility for this.

It was my mistake.

It was on the card. He kept showing
the card, which had, you know,

"1st runner-up" and "winner"

and saying... just trying
to excuse himself, in a way.

"It wasn't me, honest.
Look how the card lays out.

"It's so complicated.

"It involves reading words
of more than one syllable."

After everything that happened,

I think the production team

were trying to salvage
what they could.

So they zoomed in on the winner

right up close.

But you couldn't help getting
the feeling

that they were just cropping poor
Miss Colombia out.

You kept thinking,

"Oh, my God, Miss Colombia,
what must she be feeling?",

and you wanted to see. But they were
very careful. They didn't show her.

That's the thing about
awful car crash television.

You want to see the worst bits.

Isn't that awful of me?

But the thing is, the other girl's
still got the crown on.

That crown isn't hers.
Give it back!

And then it takes some
poor girl to come in the middle

and take the crown off her

and put it on the other one's head.

That really is a kind of
heart-stopping moment for anybody

when you say, "Hang on a second,
take the crown off her,

"take back the flowers, take away
the cheque, we've made a mistake.

"We'll be right back after
this break. Taxi!"

Still to come, Bobby Davro takes
stock of his comedy career.

I really don't like to watch it.

He went smack on the floor
on his face.

And things go horribly
wrong for Anthea Turner.

I can smell the most horrible
smell of singeing burning.

How could this have happened?

In the fast-paced world
of the newsroom,

trying to stay on top of the stories
as they happen

means there's always
the chance of an almighty cock-up,

such as the case of Guy Goma
in 2006,

a TV disaster so momentous
that it's now legendary.

If I have times of great stress,
times of great trouble,

times in times of difficulty
in my life,

I can always turn to Guy.

This poor chap's turned up,

perfectly respectable guy,
great CV,

for an interview
to be part of the BBC's IT unit.

Apparently, there were two people
called Guy

coming into the studio that morning
and one of the runners was sent down

to find the other guy, called Guy.

They said, "Is Guy here?"
They went, "Yeah, Guy's here".

"Can you send Guy up?" Unbeknownst
to the person behind the desk,

it wasn't the Guy they were looking
for. It was a different Guy.

And he's got swept into make-up.

He's then introduced and put
in front of a camera.

And at that moment he suddenly
realised,

"No, they're not
filming the interview.

"I'm broadcasting to the 11 men
and a wet dog who are watching".

Well, Guy Kewney is the editor

of the technology website
News Wireless.

Hello. Good morning to you.

Good morning.

He was totally in the wrong place
and he sort of went...

He doesn't panic.

You'd think,
"Oh, Guy's going to panic".

He's going to answer the questions.
"I can answer these questions".

Were you surprised
by this verdict today?

I'm very surprised to see
this verdict to come on me.

I love the way that the journalist
interviewing

just carried on regardless,

because it must have been blatantly
obvious to her

that this was an impostor, but she
carried on. What a professional.

Do you think now, more people
will be downloading online?

Actually, if you can go everywhere,

you're going to see a lot of people
are downloading to the internet

and the website,
everything they want.

It represents the thing

that we in television always live in
total fear of -

that we're live, we talk to
somebody thinking they're somebody

and actually, they turn out to be
somebody different altogether.

They must have thought,
"No, it can't. It can't be.

"We've not... this couldn't
have..."

There's so much pressure
in a modern day newsroom.

They're not listening. So what's on
now is fine. It's taking place.

"You're dealing with that, you're
the presenter, Karen".

The wonderful thing about Guy Goma
is the compassion

because he doesn't want
to blow the whistle and say,

"I have no idea what you're talking
about. It's a cock-up.

I'm here for a job interview".

He thinks somebody is going to
be seriously in trouble over this.

This does really seem to be

the way the music industry
is progressing now,

that people want to go onto the
website and download music. Exactly.

Somebody's asking some questions

under some bright lights
with a camera.

And he answered them as best
as he could.

I thought they were pretty good
answers.

I mean, it's... if I was in
Apple, I'd have given him a job.

He should be running the BBC.

If he can busk his head off
like that for five minutes,

give him the job.

Most TV shows go perfectly to plan,

but when high profile, shiny floor
primetime shows go wrong,

there's absolutely no place to hide,

especially when millions
are watching.

Back in the '80s and '905,

long before he tickled viewers
on Celebrity Big Brother,

huge audiences tuned in

to watch cheeky chappy comedian
Bobby Davro

in his own primetime show.

Public Enemy No 1, Public Enema
Number 1, as I called it!

Bobby Davro was huge.

He was the funniest man on TV.

He was one of those comedians

who actually knew that we loved
to hate him.

He'd get celebrity guests on

and take the mickey out of
them and rip them to pieces,

you know, regardless of what it was
and what their status were.

It was a sort of panel-cum-game show
and celebrity show.

It wasn't particularly great.

It was family
entertainment, completely madcap.

We all knew what we were doing
up there - to be insulted.

At the end of this particular show
that I did,

we got our own back and we put him
in the stocks.

I was put in there.
I don't understand why.

There was nothing being thrown
at me.

This is before the age of health
and safety being what it is today.

And I think they just needed,
for camera reasons, whatever,

"Let's put the stocks and a couple
of blocks, it'll be fine".

You know, "Let's stick Bobby in
these stocks and take the mickey".

I'm sorry. It does make me laugh
still.

Lionel Blair, for some reason,

takes his trousers down
and the other three are in front,

singing Always Look On The
Bright Side Of Life!

# Always look on the bright side
of life... #

My focus was really on Lionel
Blair, Keith Chegwin and Jim Bowen

because they were just up
there doing the can-can.

I was just thinking,
"God, that's entertainment".

AUDIENCE SCREAM

I was very lucky that I landed

on the wooden part of the staging
in the studio,

because if it had landed
on the concrete floor,

I would have probably broken my
neck.

Thank God Bobby was OK.

Oh, my God!

Oh, Bobby!

Oh, Jesus!

Keith Chegwin starts shouting out,
"Bobby, oh, Bobby",

because they're like brothers.

They love each other.

"Oh, Bobby!"

Bobby!

The piece is about Lionel Blair
because he's like...

And you think,
"Lionel, you poor thing!"

Lionel can see the horror of what's
happening,

but at the same time
is trying to keep a showbiz face.

You know when you drop something,
and something good,

and it's like in slow motion,
"Will this happen?"

And the next thing we knew, he went
smack on the floor on his face.

"There goes my career.

"Oh, no, I'm dead".

There was nothing he could do.

And there was nothing we could do.

What a way to go, face down with
your pants round your knees

with Lionel Blair during the
can-can right in front of you.

You've got one of the most
well-known comedians in the UK...

...flat as a pancake on the floor!

"I've had an accident.
I demand compensation!"

AS JOE PASQUALE:
"I've had an accident,

"I think I'm entitled to some
compensation!"

That's me, that is.

Because you know he's OK,
you can laugh about it.

And because it happened
to Bobby Davro,

it's the most perfect joke
in the world.

So anyway, this thing had tipped
over, crashed into the floor

and then the thing came up

and caught me right under the chin
there,

cut a great big hole in my chin.

It was the most horrific thing

I think I've ever been part
of in anything that's gone wrong.

It was dreadful.

It's really painful to watch.

Face into the ground, wooden block
and you just hear people go "Uhh!"

I really don't like to watch it.
My parents were there.

My mum was pretty shook
up about it.

But hey, I'm all right. But I didn't
get any compensation. Nothing.

The Bobby Davro clip is now used
by the BBC on health and safety...

...in programme making!

Sorry, Bob. It weren't funny.

Thankfully, our Bobby survived

without any long-lasting injuries...
we think.

Live TV has always
been a risky business.

All kinds of things can and do
go wrong.

But in the past, health and safety
wasn't given the priority it is now.

So the risk of disaster was ever
present, as Anthea Turner found out.

If you want something to happen
to you...

I have worked in television.
I have done some risk assessments,

and every time I sit down
and do one, I go,

"OK. How would you not kill
Anthea Turner?"

UP2U was a Saturday morning show
which was live, and it was on BBC.

Sometimes we'd be on location

or we'd have one presenter out
and about somewhere

and the other
presenters back in the studio.

And then we'd have these live
fink-ups

and we'd all be chatting
happily away to each other.

It was the first show of
the new series, and I was sent out

to go do a live broadcast
from the Royal Tournament.

You couldn't switch the lights on,
could you?

Wow!

Get a load of that.

When we got down to Earl's Court,

you know, you realised
that technically speaking,

there was an awful lot going on,
because it's a big show.

What normally happened was
on the Friday,

we'd all arrive
and then we'd all rehearse.

So we went through, we call
it marking through sometimes,

where they'll position you in a
certain place and, say,

"This is where you're going to do
that link", just mark it through.

And the idea was that I would be
standing by a truck

with the tailgate down

and it had black sugar paper,

so it looked like it was empty
to the television eye.

And I was going to say,

"Oh, I thought I was going to be
meeting the motorbike display team,

"but I can't see anybody here".

And then these guys are going to
come out of the back of the truck,

which they did and all was fine
and good... on Friday.

On the day, the director just said
to me,

"Actually, I think it would be
better

"if you just sat on the tailgate.

"Do your piece to camera, jump off
it and when you're far enough away,

"We'll cue the motorbike to come
out.

"It's going to look a lot nicer".

And if you want something
to happen to you on...

The bike has actually just clipped
my shoulder

and I'm now falling
off the tailgate.

I'm feeling very hot.

My jacket set on fire.

My microphone shield set on fire.

And I can smell the most horrible
smell of singeing burning.

You do not want to be near
a flammable stunt

if you are covered in hairspray
and polyester shell suit tops.

One thing I feel slightly guilty
about

is the fact that because it wasn't
my link, I wasn't ready.

I was upstairs in the canteen,
having a cup of tea, to be honest.

I wasn't watching what was going on,
slightly naughty,

I'd taken my earpiece out,
really naughty,

and I was like, "Well, this
is Anthea's link now,

"so I've got a good few minutes to
have a cup of tea".

So I just was relaxing.

Yeah, but I wasn't relaxing
for very long!

I couldn't hear very well
the studio.

I just said to the director,

"Can you give me a visual cue as
well to speak,

"because I might not hear it".

And this is where it all went wrong

because the cue which was mine
to speak

got confused with the cue which was
for the bike

to come out of the back
of the lorry.

And actually, the gentleman
who was in the truck

cueing the motorcyclist
wasn't a television professional.

He was working with the display
team.

And maybe had it been a, you know,
a floor manager,

they would have got it.

I hadn't seen it. So there I was
being asked to explain and apologise

for a situation that happened
that I hadn't actually seen.

So I was like, "So what's happened?
She's what?"

A few minutes ago,

you might have just seen something
a bit dangerous happen to Anthea.

Just to say, she's OK.
She's just gone to first aid

and she's going to have a nice, hot
cup of tea

because she's got some shock,
but she's OK.

We'll carry on with the rest
of the events.

You know, this is live television.

Things like this aren't
supposed to happen.

You know, we're supposed
to pre-empt these things.

And we rehearsed it. I thought,
"How could this have happened?"

I could have sat anywhere
on that tailgate,

because the camera just followed me.

I chose accidentally to go
to the right-hand side of it.

Had I have gone literally two inches
further to the left,

that motorbike would have just gone
right into the back of my head.

The accident left its mark,
and when she returned to our screens

a few weeks later, it was clear
for all to see.

I looked a bit strange,
really, for some time.

You look very strange without your
eyebrows and your eyelashes.

At the Wembley...

This actually did change a lot
in television terms

as far as how not
to kill a presenter.

I do star on the BBC safety video!

We all have things that we're
remembered for and synonymous for,

and I think that will certainly
be what she's remembered for.

"Oh, Anthea, remember when you got
blown up at the back of a truck?"

"That's you, isn't it?"
I bet she loves that.

Still to come, ex-Prime Minister
Gordon Brown

puts his foot right in it.

It all got caught.

You're never alone
with a microphone.

And news reporter Michael Crick
hits the headlines.

Disgraceful! You disgrace!

He knew he was going to wind up
Godfrey Bloom, and he did.

I thought it might needle him
a bit,

but I hadn't realised
he'd just go way overboard.

When a politician tries
to use the television news

to his own advantage,

it can backfire with irreversible
consequences.

When will politicians learn

that if you're ever in a TV studio
or surrounded by microphones,

even if someone says that microphone
is off,

that microphone is 100% on?

Hello. How are you doing?

You would try and
persuade politicians

to put a radio mic on so that when
they talk to voters and so on,

you could capture
what they were saying

and what the voters were saying.

And it's a lot less obtrusive

than shoving a big microphone
on a stick in between them.

The 2010 election campaign was,
if we're completely honest,

a rather boring affair.

And the real highlight was
this moment

when Gordon Brown encountered
a voter called Gillian Duffy.

My family have voted Labour
all their life. Yes.

Gordon, you know, just wasn't
the best people person.

You can tell he hates every
moment of it.

He's not naturally a performer.
He's a very bright man.

I'm sure he's a very compassionate
man,

but he's not really media-friendly
or media-savvy.

The biggest danger can come
from a member of the public.

And Gillian Duffy duffs him
up on the issue of immigration.

Well, all these Eastern Europeans
what are coming in,

where are they flocking from? Well,
a million people come from Europe

but a million people, British
people, have gone into Europe.

There's a lot of British
people staying in Europe as well.

These are meant to look to us,
on television and to the audience,

like random encounters.

But by and large, they're selected
beforehand

and if they're supporters of
the party, even better

and they're meant to ask you

something that you are able to deal
with and might expect.

To her face, he's sunny, jovial,
you know, "Great to see you".

Couldn't have been more friendly.

Very good to meet you. And you're
wearing the right colour today!

How many grandchildren do you have?
Two.

What names are they?

The conversation ended pretty
positively,

but Gordon Brown's view of the
exchange

was later caught on his microphone.

This is the crucial moment
where everything goes wrong.

It's not while the crisis is
actually going on, often.

It is that moment

in which you think you've got beyond
the particular tension

that your guard drops.

Let's go. Oh, boy, does the world
fall in on you.

Good to see you. Thanks very much.

When he gets in the car,

you hear on the microphone
the real Gordon Brown.

It all got caught.

This is TV going wrong for Gordon
Brown in a very, very, very big way.

We have a saying in television.
It's an old adage.

Everyone knows it. "You're never
alone with a microphone".

Turn it off.

Of course, that brief encounter
is forgotten almost immediately

by Gordon Brown and his team,
except, of course, Sky have got it

and quite cleverly leak it out
to their sources.

Of course, the woman was absolutely
outraged,

as indeed anybody would have been.

BROWN ON RECORDING: ..bigoted woman.

I suppose it is a bit of a shock

to be informed that the
Prime Minister of your country

thinks you're a racist old bigot!

What did I say to be bigoted there?

What was... what?

What was bigoted
in that what I said?

There was an interesting
ethical issue there

because a lot of people
in the old days would have said,

"Well, he didn't know it was
being recorded.

"We shouldn't use that, it's not
fair to him".

But I think the decision was made
that what he said in the car

was so momentous, so telling,

so interesting that that rule
had to be discarded.

I want to know what my politicians
really think.

It would be really nice. Everyone
says, you know,

"What we want is authenticity",
and you get faux authenticity.

You get the false bonhomie out
on the street there,

and some of them
do it better than others.

And you believe them then
to be genuine, but they're not.

Of course she's allowed to express
her view and I was saying...

Gordon Brown was on the Jeremy Vine
show on Radio 2,

which was being filmed, actually.

You could see him.
He sort of goes, "Oh!"

He was then forced to sort of listen
back to himself on the radio.

The problem was that I was dealing
with a question that she raised

about immigration and wasn't given
a chance to answer it.

And then he had to go back
to Rochdale

to go and apologise
in person to Gillian Duffy,

visit her at her home.

I remember standing with the rest
of the world's media in this tiny

little cul-de-sac and up sweeps
the prime ministerial motorcade

and out gets an ashen-faced
Gordon Brown

and trudges up to the door of
Gillian Duffy's house.

I've just been talking to Gillian.

I'm mortified by what's happened.

I've given her my sincere apologies.

That was rather patronising

to think it could be patched up in
that way,

although he obviously had to make
the gesture.

It must have been one of his
bleakest moments as Prime Minister.

Sometimes you do make mistakes
and you use the wrong words.

And once you've used that word
and you've made a mistake,

you should withdraw it
and say profound apologies.

And that's what I've done.

Funnily enough, I was filming
with him a few years later

and we'd done our interview
and he wandered off

and he'd left the mic on again.
And I thought,

"Didn't you learn from the last
microphone catastrophe?"

Testing, testing... times indeed.

A regular cause of TV going
dramatically wrong

is the telly meltdown,

and even the most consummate
professional

can succumb to seeing red.

Like BBC Panorama reporter
John Sweeney, who provided us

with one of the most jaw-dropping
moments of TV going wrong

ever seen on our screens

with this outburst.

YOU WERE NOT THERE AT THE BEGINNING
OF THE INTERVIEW!

John Sweeney has got a real
reputation

for robustness. He is, or was one
of one of Panorama's thugs.

I thought, you know, I mean,

when his foot is in the doorway,
you know, that door doesn't close.

In 2007, John took a snoop
into the world of Scientology.

The Church of Scientology is,
according to its great apostles

Tom Cruise and John Travolta,

a wonderful thing that
helps you communicate.

Ex-members of the church say
it's a sinister space alien cult.

I actually watched the show
in 2007, Scientology and Me,

with a lot of interest
and fascination

because I had personally had
nasty e-mails from Scientologists,

having written stories
about Tom Cruise

and his relationship with the church
that were negative.

I have never felt under
such psychological pressure

then when I was reporting on
the Church of Scientology.

The following clip shows

how important it was to
Scientology spokesman Tommy Davis

that the Panorama interview
was also recorded

on the church's own cameras.

Could that have been
a possible sign of mistrust?

I would just like to... And I hope
somebody is shooting this. OK, good.

Rather, there's actually,
to be fair... There's now been...

...there's one camera from BBC,
one camera from your...

No, you listen to me for a second.

You have no right whatsoever to say
what and what isn't a religion.

Now, one thing you have to know
about Scientology

is they have something
called Fair Game,

which means if someone
is attacking you,

you can do anything
to defend yourself.

Whether it's illegal or immoral
or unethical, it doesn't matter.

They came to our hotel.

They attacked and condemned
the people we were interviewing,

while we were interviewing them.

There was a car chase in I.,

there were private eyes
in our hotel room, in our hotel.

And there was real, real
psychological pressure.

All this pressure came to a head
when Davis confronted him

one more time about
an earlier interview.

Listen to me for a second. No.

You're accusing members
of my religion

of engaging in brainwashing.
NO, TOMMY, YOU STOP NOW!

Brainwashing in a crime!
NO, LISTEN TO ME!

YOU WERE NOT THERE AT THE BEGINNING
OF THAT INTERVIEW!

And I just lost it.

Brain washing is a crime. YOU DID
NOT HEAR OR RECORD THE INTERVIEW!

Do you understand?

He comes across like
a complete bellend.

John Sweeney, you made Scientology
look perfectly sane and normal

and that you're the crazy one.

I can't work out if John was
trying to perform some kind of

strange Jedi mind trick
that didn't work.

YOU ARE QUOTING THE SECOND HALF OF
THE INTERVIEW, NOT THE FIRST HALF!

Watching him explode like a tomato,
which is what he called it,

is awkward and difficult to watch.

YOU CANNOT ASSERT
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!

Now, would you listen to me?

As a good rule for life,

don't lose your shit like that
when cameras are around.

I think that's quite,
quite safe advice, really.

It's a disaster.

It's a total disaster.

This is the power of Scientology,

to drive someone almost
to the point of madness,

to behave in a way they would never,
ever in a million years behave.

What's interesting is that because
the Scientologists had themselves

filmed this outburst,
they then put it out,

broadcast it before the Panorama,

and then, of course,
the Panorama people think,

"Crikey! What do we do?"

The Scientologists' own
amateur-looking close up footage

focused on Sweeney's outbursts,

not clearly giving both sides
of the debate.

NO, TOMMY, YOU STOP NOW!

NO, LISTEN TO ME!

YOU WERE NOT THERE AT THE BEGINNING
OF THAT INTERVIEW!

Maybe they were hoping that
the BBC would be so disgusted

with John Sweeney's behaviour
that they would can the show.

John Travolta phoned up the
Director-General eight times,

saying that I should be sacked.

The Director-General was
in a meeting eight times -

that's what he does for a living.

The church even lobbied
the UK Parliament

to get the documentary shelved.

The moment I lost it,

I remember the producer
Sarah Moll going,

"We're going to run that."
And I said, "Of course we are."

When it finally aired,
4.9 million people tuned in.

So there was a huge amount of
interest, and, actually, in the end,

I think it was one of the
most watched Panoramas

in the last ten years.

I believe passionately
that civilised discourse

is the engine oil of our democracy.

It is how we should
treat each other,

and people in the public eye
should not lose their temper.

So, I apologised then
and I apologise now.

Despite the threats, the programme
was a success, and Panorama went on

to make subsequent reports
about Scientology.

Some news reporters,
like Channel 4's Michael Crick,

can find themselves
at the centre of the news.

A couple of weeks before
the UKIP conference,

I got an invitation by e-mail,

and the first line was
"Godfrey Bloom..."

And I thought, "Mm, that sort of
looks interesting."

"..invites you to
a champagne reception..."

"Wow, yes. I'll go to that."

"..on the subject of
women in politics."

Bloom on women in politics.
I'm certainly going to that!

Godfrey Bloom was a pretty
controversial UKIPer.

He'd made some awful comments
about women being sluts

cos they didn't clean
behind the fridge.

Was there a single woman in there
that didn't laugh at the joke,

you sad little man?

He'd also said something
that sounded pretty racist

about Bongo Bongo Land.

Something was bound to happen.

Now, Mr Bloom, what do you make
of the front cover of this...

...the conference brochure
with no Black faces on it?

What a racist comment is that?

How dare you!
That's an appalling thing to say!

You're picking people out
for the colour of their skin?

You disgust me.
Get out of my way!

I thought it might needle him a bit,

but I hadn't realised
he'd just go way overboard.

What's appalling about
making that point?

You, sir, are a racist!

Somehow, I pressed a button
and it exploded.

Why am I racist for saying
there aren't any Black people?

And you've checked out the colour
of people's faces.

He then grabbed
the brochure from me

and started rapping me
over the head with it.

Disgraceful! You're disgraceful!

And I thought, "Crikey..."

You know, this is being captured
by at least three cameras.

Disgraceful! You're disgraceful!

I've got to be careful here.

You know, this could
all go badly wrong.

Your racism, that's a racist remark.

Michael, of course, was completely
above the board and fair enough.

But he knew he was going to wind up
Godfrey Bloom, and he did.

We cannot have any one individual

destroying UKIP's
national conference,

and that is what he's done today.

Well, that was the end of
Godfrey Bloom's political career.

Will you have to resign over this,
Mr Bloom?

The consequences of TV
going horribly wrong

can be a lot worse for
foreign correspondents

reporting from a war zone.

In 2003, the Iraq War was raging,
and BBC reporter John Simpson

was covering the fighting
from the front line.

John's a national institution,

but he's always been
a very brave reporter.

BBC newsreader Darren Jordon
gave an impassioned lead-in

to John Simpson's
tragic news report.

The BBC's world affairs editor,
John Simpson,

was in the Kurdish convoy
when it was bombed.

He and other members of the BBC team
were slightly hurt.

He sent this dramatic report
from northern Iraq.

But let me warn you, some of
the pictures may upset you.

This was absolutely first-class
reporting by John Simpson.

What had happened here was
an awful incident of friendly fire.

And, obviously, he knew that
he had to keep recording

to tell the world
what was really going on.

And he manages to put together
a piece that is both coherent

and incredibly emotionally powerful.

JOHN SIMPSON: We reached
the crossroads.

Then, out of the blue,
the American plane attacked.

When you're with someone like him,

you don't think anything's badly
going to go wrong just because,

in a funny way, you sort of think
he's sort of too big a figure

to actually get hurt.

I think what's amazing
is that the cameraman,

despite having been hit by
shrapnel himself, keeps rolling.

He keeps filming.

SHOUTING AND YELLING

That footage of him and his party
being attacked

by so-called friendly fire
is just horrific.

The team would go on to make
a revealing documentary,

giving the viewer a sense of
what it might have been like

to be there on that fateful day.

It all looks quite promising
at this stage.

We were heading down towards
what the front line was.

There were very few Americans
in northern Iraq

because they hadn't been given
permission to send their troops in.

You could hear this incredible sound
of what turned out to be

American F-145 spinning round
very low.

The quick-thinking, experienced
cameraman proves his worth

by capturing the chilling moment
when the bomb landed.

My phone rang, and it was my mother
ringing to say "Happy birthday".

The sound got louder and louder,

and I actually held the phone up
so she could hear.

Fred Scott, the cameraman, had
basically been blown on his side.

He managed to pick his camera up

and he looked to see if the camera
was actually working.

And because he'd got
a shrapnel cut on his eye,

though he didn't know it, this drop
of blood just fell on the lens

just as he fired up the camera.

So what everyone saw was
this extraordinary shot.

And I think it was probably the most
powerful single shot that anyone...

...anyone actually managed to get
during the entire war.

As this BBC News report continued,

it became shockingly clear just how
close the team came to being killed.

JOHN: The bomb had landed
only ten yards away from us.

I even saw it fall.

Some of my clothes had been
ripped off by the blast.

It's all an appalling mistake
by the Americans.

And it's... You know, it's not
the television people's fault,

apart from the fact
that they were there.

But then they were there with
Americans on the ground as well.

I've been in a couple of situations
a bit like that.

Nothing like as bad as that.

And you do feel an imperative
to do your job.

If there had been any doubt as to
how near death the team came,

John closed his report with a
heartfelt tribute to his translator,

who had died from his injuries
inflicted during the attack.

JOHN: But in spite of everything
we could do for him,

Kamran Abdul Razak
died soon afterwards.

Fred's sitting there with, you know,
one of his eardrums blown out,

John's got one of
his eardrums blown out,

they've all got shrapnel wounds.
I've got...

I've just had a inch-long piece
of shrapnel taken out my foot.

And yet we're still sat there,

editing a news package
for that evening's news.

You're aware from
this John Simpson report

how perilous a journalist's job
on the front line can be

and how last-minute decisions, luck,

all plays a part in whether
you actually stay alive.

My concern is, for fear of
offending people at home,

we shouldn't put out dark images,

but these dark images are the truth.

And the problem is we're
mollycoddling these images.

Now, do you want kids
to watch them? No.

Do you want war to be
so pasteurised

people don't understand
its true nature? No.

And I think for the moment,
we've got the balance wrong.

But that ghastly incident
with John Simpson and the Kurds,

that tells you the truth about war.

Still to come,

a grumpy cat leaves
an Aussie TV host lost for words.

There's nothing but the cat in shot
and just his face.

It's like Jabba the Hutt.

And the '80s weatherman
who caused a storm.

Apparently, a woman rang the BBC

and said she heard that
there's a hurricane on the way.

Well, if you're watching,
don't worry, there isn't.

The man who made a complete mess
of that weather forecast.

I had nothing whatever to do
with it.

A news journalist doesn't only
report on the serious stuff

going on in the world.

They also have to try and keep
abreast of popular culture

and the latest trends.

In 2013, veteran news anchor
Karl Stefanovic,

from Australia's Today Show,
was handed a fluffy story to cover.

So, this was never going to be
an easy task.

When the Today Show producers picked
up on a social media sensation...

Grumpy Cat was an icon
of the last decade.

...Grumpy Cat, also known as
Tartar Sauce, from Arizona,

became an overnight celebrity
clue to her grumpy face.

Even I know about Grumpy Cat.

Like the most human, miserable face
I've ever seen on an animal.

Just looked a little bit miffed.

Grumpy Cat's face was everywhere.

There's books and T-shirts
and things like that.

As Grumpy Cat had a new book out,
the Today Show producers

saw an opportunity
for an interview... with the cat.

Grumpy Cat, good morning.

Are you happy to be... doing
this interview

with the Today Show in Australia?

They thought, "I know,
we'll do a live link!"

The Today programme think,
"We'll put Karl on this

"because Karl's a professional.
Karl's trained."

I'm sure this TV host is like,
"Well, yeah, that's a good idea.

"We'll bring him on.
It'll be funny."

What about Mondays?
It's a Monday morning.

It'd be your favourite day
of the week, wouldn't it?

The truth is, the cat is not
going to answer, right?

You'd think that maybe you'd be
talking to the cat's owner.

You've become a massive
star on the internet.

You must be pretty excited
about the new book, yeah?

He's asking questions to a cat
that's got a face

like a slapped backside.

I'm going to ask you what you think
of the politicians, our politicians,

the leader of the country first.

So, I'm going to ask you whether or
not you like the Prime Minister,

Kevin Rudd?

And this cat's just
staring back at him.

There's nothing but the cat in shot
and just his face.

And I thought, at some point,
they're just going to cut away.

But, no, we're still staring
at the cat's face.

We don't even know if Grumpy Cat
even makes a noise.

What about the opposition leader,
Tony Abbott?

The presenter, this dude's face
is mad.

Every time he asks a question,
he does this ridiculous face.

Karl suddenly realises that
it's a bit embarrassing,

and then he gets that
really awkward laughter.

HE LAUGHS
Look at that cat!

I think it hits him.

"What am I doing?"

HE LAUGHS

And it just all descends
into absolute carnage.

And the cat is still
sitting there like this.

It's like Jabba the Hutt!

Karl's awkward lowbrow interview
hit the headlines...

...and his fit of the giggles
was picked up by social media.

What must have seemed like
a great idea at the time

ended up a bit of a clamp squib.

All right, this has been good.

I look forward to catching up with
you when you get to Australia, OK?

It's sort of amusing
for a little while.

And then after that,
it's kind of like,

"Oh, now this is getting
a bit toe-curling."

HE LAUGHS
Look at that cat!

He's probably a trained journalist.

He's sitting, considering all the
work he's ever done in his life

and how he's ended up sat,
interviewing a cat.

I've got to go now.

THEY LAUGH

And now for the weather.

How can that possibly go wrong,

especially in the hands of
seasoned professionals?

I've got to speak slowly.

You know, the Great Storm of '87
scarred many weathermen very deeply.

Good afternoon to you.

Earlier on today, apparently a woman
rang the BBC and said she heard

that there's a hurricane on the way.

Well, if you're watching,
don't worry, there isn't.

Don't worry. There isn't.

ECHOES: There isn't. There isn't.

The worst storms for centuries
have swept across southern England,

killing at least 12 people and
paralysing a quarter of the country.

They came without warning
in the early hours of the morning.

The storm that night was huge.

It was the kind of storm
of the century.

Huge trees, things that had grown
for years, were uprooted.

I remember lying in bed and
hearing the roof tiles crash off,

thinking, "Yeah. Thanks, Michael."

I had nothing whatever
to do with it.

The wrong forecast was prepared
by the Met Office.

Well, the incorrect broadcast
was done by Bill Giles.

He was the one that played
the whole thing down.

Now, it looks as though most of
those strong winds will stay away,

although it's still going to be
very breezy up through the channel.

My broadcast,
which had been earlier,

there's some extremely
stormy weather on the way.

Now, as I've said to Bill
many times since then,

"I don't wanna go sailing
with you, William,

"cos I don't think
you're up to this.

It was a bit more than breezy
up the channel."

I remember getting up
to do the one o'clock news.

I was going in at 5:30 in the
morning, and all you could hear

was the burglar alarms
going off in all the shops.

There was no power in the studios
at all. And they said,

"We're going to have
to send you down to
the Thames Television Studios,"

where they've got what
we call a bubble,

a tiny little television studio
that you can go live on air.

It is 6:45 and this is
Good Morning Britain.

Hurricane winds have devastated...

So I sat there thinking, "I can't
start doing a really serious

"hurricane programme
with Bugs Bunny there."

And the only thing I could do,

cos I didn't have any of my
wardrobe with me, was turn it round.

So I presented the rest of
the programme back to front.

That morning, going in, I had to go
down to Lime Grove down the A1,

when everybody was standing outside.

And, of course, it was my fault,
even though I had not been involved.

The weathermen in those days,
I mean, they were almost godlike.

They were figures that
came into our living rooms

once or twice an evening, and
everything they said was gospel.

Now, John Kettley from
the weather studio is with me again

with, I think, some more information
about just what the situation is.

We eventually got up to a TV centre.

We found an emergency little studio,
which was Phillip Schofield's,

Nicholas Witchell and I.

We must apologise for this rather
makeshift Breakfast Time service

which we're bringing you.

Lime Grove Studios,
the home of Breakfast Time,

is out of action this morning as a
result of the bad weather overnight.

But the most ridiculous thing is

I had to try and explain
what was going on,

and I knew nowt.

I didn't know a thing

because I couldn't even
phone the Weather Centre -

the power lines were down.

As the severity of
the storm became clear,

the weathermen were being grilled
as to why they hadn't predicted it.

The duty weatherman
this morning, John Kettley.

John, why didn't you predict this?

Joining me now from the London
Weather Centre is the BBC's

weather forecaster, Ian McCaskilL

Well, Ian, you chaps
were a fat lot of good last night.

Ian McCaskill was still there.
He'd gone in the night before

to do the night shift at
London Weather Centre,

and he was still there when I left.

He did virtually a 24-hour shift.

Nobody could get in to rescue him.

If you can't forecast the worst
storms for several centuries

three hours before they happen,
what are you doing?

The image of the Met Office
went down severely.

The BBC perhaps couldn't be
trusted the same

with their weather output,
just because of this one storm.

And despite everyone
remembering it...

Earlier on today,
apparently a woman rang the BBC

and said she'd heard that there
was a hurricane on the way.

Well, if you're watching,
don't worry. There isn't.

But having said that, actually,
the weather will become very windy.

...the famous phone call in
to the BBC didn't happen

quite the way we all thought.

But there's a vicious...

The actual truth is that nobody
rang in to the studio at all.

What really happened was that
a cameraman from the studio

made a call to his mother,
who was about to go to Florida,

and was very worried about
a hurricane that was in that area.

Every time anyone meets him now,
all these years later...

The man who made a complete
mess of that weather forecast.

Poor Michael Fish.

We'll never, ever have
the same problem again.

The computer analyses these days
are so much more superior

than they were at that time.

I've got my fingers crossed,
though, when I say that.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media