When Obama Loved Osama (2018) - full transcript

Hail to Zaffar Abbazi, Zaffar Abbazi.

Hail to Sagar Baba, Hail to Sagar Baba.

- Hail to Sagar Baba.
- Zaffar Abbazi.

Hail to Raw mango party,

Hail to Raw mango party,

Hail to Raw mango party,

Hail to Raw mango party.

Hail to Orange party, Sagar Baba.

Hail to Orange party,

Hail to Orange party,

Hail to Orange party, Sagar Baba.



Hail to Orange party, Sagar Baba.

- Zaffar Abbazi.
- Orange party.

- Orange party.
- Hail to Raw mango party,

Hail to Raw mango party,

Hail to Raw mango party,

- Orange party.
- Hail to Raw mango party,

Hail to Orange party,

Hail to Orange party,

- Hail to Orange party.
- Hail to Raw mango party.

Hail to Raw mango party.

Where are these stones coming from?
Who is throwing it on us?

Hey, Khanduri! What is this scandal?
Where did our people go?

Where these people raised for this?

- To hide instead of saving me.
- Sir! What will they do?



Stones will not check, whether
it's a mango or an orange?

So, who has stopped you? You also
start throwing stones on them.

- Sir! But, we don't have stones?
- Idiot!

Throw the same stones on them.

"This is Sagar Obama, MLA, post candidate."

"And, this is his elder brother
Dabar Obama, Former MLA."

"Who gave assurance to
people, but, did nothing."

"His younger brother, is
also on the same path."

"Elder brother is remarkable, but the
younger one, is even more remarkable."

You bastard's! Why are you hiding?

- Am I paying you for not saving me?
- Sir!

Sir! Congratulations! Congratulations!

- Now, even they are throwing
stones at us. - Congratulations!

- At us? Why?
- Yes.

- You told me that they don't have stones.
- Sir! We gave them.

- You traitor, why did you give them?
- Oh!

Sir! You didn't understand, the
stones that we threw at them...

Now, they are throwing
the same stones at us.

"This is Zaffar Abbazi! He is
also, a candidate for MLA post."

"By staying in power, he has
also fooled the public."

"Both of these political arenas, always
keep bouncing stones on each other."

Hello! Dad.

- Mom! Get me a cup of tea too.
- Yes son, I'll be right there.

So! Prince is awake?

Do you know, what's the time right now?
It's 11:00AM.

He is awake?
Why are you shouting at him?

He is spoiled by your love.

If he is going to behave the same way then,
one day, we might not get food to eat.

Whole day he roams like a loafer,
with his stupid friends.

He is not a loafer, don't
say anything to my son?

If you, care about your father's
identity, then, look for a job.

When the time comes he will
start working-business...

Hopefully, I don't have to throw
him out of the house someday!

Oh Allah! What kind of father are you?

You'll throw, your own
son out of the house?

Then, you only make him understand.

Your's is a daily habit to cause agitation.

(Sighs) "This is Aman, his full name,
Aman Osama, he has a rare disease."

"To behave weirdly at times, let's
see how he got this disease."

His ancesters, at the of partition,

"had come from Lahore to Agra,
and settled here forever."

"His Father, Mr. Abbas Osama,
believes in all kinds of religions."

"That's why, he gave his sisters hand..."

"happily to the boy of her
choice for marriage."

"His decency, became a trouble
for his government job."

"Because of which, he never got promoted."

What happened?

You look tensed?

Did you get promoted?

When I didn't receive promotion
in the house then...

How, can I get promotion in the office?

- What did you say, Aman's father?
- It's correct.

I have become a slave,

at home, and also...

In the office.

Why do you always have to remove
office exasperation at home?

You tell them, how honestly you work!

And that, you deserve a promotion.

It's not possible, with those dishonest,
inferior people sitting on my head...

They say, because of me
not taking any bribe,

they are not able to get the benefit.

You don't get dejected, Aman's father.

- Lord Allah! Will do everything fine.
- "Everyone is used to living like a dog."

"Little Aman, from the age of
eight, he is watching his..."

"Favourite Artist, Nana Patekar's movie."

"Which had a profound impact on his mind."

Seeing his father's life,
troubled by corruption...

"A strange disease was
born, inside small Aman."

Good! Aman,

Today also you didn't
complete your homework?

Your heart is not in studies, what is this?

The entire book is empty,
what do you do at home?

Wow!

Wow! Pen woman, Wow! I wish!
These copies of ten rupees...

These copies were thrown on those
corrupted people instead of me.

There, my dad is paying for his honesty,
and you are worried about the homework?

- Wow! Pen woman, Wow!
- Principal Ma'am!

(Laughter)

Wow! You redeemed Madam's senses.

- Today, you did an amazing work.
- Good one! Good one!

"Wow! Wow! Pen woman, Wow!"

"You are trying to save the poor
huts, with the help of newspapers."

Aman!

But that time has gone when...

- Aman!
- Yes Dad!

Now newspaper has turned into a business.

- What did you do in the school?
- Nothing!

Then, why is there a complaint? Today,
sixth time we have received complain.

From now on, if you do
anything in the school?

I'll get you out of the school, and
make you sit at home, understood?

(Laughter)

Hey Dad! Don't hit me here,
there's a small brain here.

If you hit here then, the person
will not be able to listen or speak.

What will you get by kicking
me out from the school,

school people will only
kick me out, understood?

(Thud)

Aman! Aman!

(Clink) Cheers!

Kissing booth? What is this kissing booth?

- There's a poetry on kissing booth.
- Tell us.

(Burps)

- In the city of Shahajahan!
- Oh!

In the city of Shahajahan!

- Today's era craves to love.
- Wow!

- Wow!
- Very nice!

In the city of Shahajahan!
Today's era craves to love.

Hence, your borther has opened, a
small place known as kissing booth.

- Wow!
- Very good!

(Snaps) - Will come tomorrow to your
kissing booth. - Will come tomorrow?

You idiot! You don't go there with boys,

You go there with girls.

Just because he is handsome, that
doesn't mean you will use him.

Brother! With the girl... I remember,

- The nearby club?
- Yes.

- Chandu one! A girl is coming from Mumbai.
- Ok.

- What are you saying?
- Will go there.

You both, will also get girls there,
then come to my kissing booth with them.

(Background Music)

"I'm a bottle, brand new."

"I'm a bottle, brand new."

"I'm a girl who is a virgin,
I'm a girl who is desperate."

"When you eyed me."

"Heart beats faster, You momentarily
get hurt, I'm a disease of love."

"You will not be punished,
you can have fun."

"You can hug me."

"You will not be punished, you
can have fun, you can hug me."

"I'm a bottle, brand new."

"I'm a bottle, brand new."

"It's full of lovers, what to do? Who
should I say yes and who should I not?"

"It flies out here with my breath,
I get admitted in vein vein."

"With these eyes and sweet things,
they are killed without killing."

"I'm a bottle, brand new."

"I'm a bottle, brand new."

"I'm not free, I'm worth the money,
It's a scourge, when they meet me."

"I trap them in every single sip. I'm
a little naughty, get everyone bad."

"In such whiskey and
risky, it Intoxicated me."

"I'm a bottle, brand new."

"I'm a bottle, brand new."

You weirdo! Dog! I'll not leave you.

Somewhere or some place,
we will meet again.

Tina Imarti, is my name. Without getting
my money back, I will not sit in peace.

Mother promise!

(Background Music)

Brother! I think she left,
I'm a bottle, brand new.

- Let's go, now after party is pending.
- "Eyes will come out."

- "I'll be hanged for sometime..."
- Brother!

- How much for kissing? - 30 bugs
for 60 seconds, do you have it?

- I have only 25 bugs.
- I pity you, give me.

- Brother! It's only 23 bugs.
- Don't take more than 55 seconds.

Now go! Hand me the money and go.

(Chink)

- Wait! Wait!
- What?

Take this, go happyily
and come back happyily.

- Thank you brother!
- Hurry up.

(Background Music)

(Background Laughter)

Are you done? I, Aman Osama says...

Your time is over, come out now?

Are you coming out or not?

- How was it? Ok.
- Hot! Thank you!

(Background Laughter)

(Phone Ringing)

Oh my life!

- "How are you my brother?"
- "Not good my brother, hence I called."

"And, you are the only one who
can help me in this situation."

"Atleast, tell me what is the problem? I
had informed you about my girlfriend?"

- "That, MLA's daughter, Shaheen?"
- "Yes, man!"

"That MLA has created a new scene,."

"He has bet that, I have to
campaign for his upcoming party."

"So that, he can get christians vote
because, muslims are already with him."

"And, he will only give his
daughter's hand, if he wins."

"These politicians, don't leave
anybody to save their seats."

"That's right! But, what to do now?
Listen, brother!"

"I'm not at all good with this
speech stuff, but your brain..."

"Your brain, is the father
of the super computer."

"I'm very sure, that you will help me."

"You please, come to Greater
Noida, so that, your brother..."

"Don't die, thinking about that MLA'S bet."

(Ambulance Siren)

Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry young man.

You have sufferred a lot.

"If I don't teach them a lesson, then,
my name is not Shivaji Rao Bagle."

"Hello! Hello! Hello! Aman Hello!"

(Ambulance Siren)

Oh Jesus! When will this childhood
illness of his, will be cured?

- Don't know, what happens to him.
- This is Joy! Aman's aunty's, single son.

He knows, only two things.

One, savour on his father's earning, and
second, have fun with his girlfriend.

(Creak)

See, he is sleeping here.

- Hey!
- Oh hello!

They went to Bangkok, and
you started drinking.

Not Bangkok!

- Devbandh.
- Okay.

Tell me, who sleeps during working hours?

I was not sleeping, I was
talking to my cousin.

Really!

- I don't know, how I slept.
- Listen, he is intoxicated.

- What? - There's a beauty,
who's come in Agra.

- Really? Gole!
- Your swear man.

- You are very innocent.
- Sometimes I feel like kissing you.

- One minute! What is this?
- I'll tell you.

- This is a new way of getting a girl.
- Ok.

With the same excuse,
someone may ask my number.

Wow! That's nice.

Very good!

- Thank you! Son, god bless you!
- Wow! Uncle.

(Coughs)

What was this? Tell me, who says
our country is not progressing.

So Guys, I request you to plant more
trees and, make agra, pollution free.

- There! There she is.
- We'll get fresh air.

Will you stand here only and keep staring!

Go! Go!

- I'm jumping from here.
- What are you saying brother?

- Let him die.
- Let's go!

In the end, I would like to say...

Plant, as many trees as you can and,
make your environment green. Go Green!

You gave us the responsibility
for environment...

Now, give us your responsibility as well.

- I'll take her responsibility.
- Brother!

- Today, they look too green.
- I'll take the response bucket for others.

- Not response bucket! Responsibility.
- I'll hurt you so bad...

That nobody will take your responsibility.

Anyways, madam...

We are all Agra's, Imran Hashmi.

- Baby!
- Oh hello!

- Who are you?
- Our your lovers.

- Brother! Aren't they doing too much?
- Don't know man, who are they?

- By face, he looks like Shakti Kapoor.
- And, you are Shahid kapoor, go save them.

- Yes brother!
- What?

- How many people are you'll?
- You only see.

All come together.

They are only these many,
don't call for more.

What were you saying? Imraan Hashmi!

Listen! Black crow...

- There's no sense in fighting?
- Oh really?

- Say!
- There's no sense, that we kill you...

- And you beat us.
- And you kill us and, we beat you.

- Now, they are dead. - So, go
home and sleep, save your faces.

- Otherwise! Gole!
- Otherwise what?

- Now, you go. - Now, look
at your brother an learn.

- Go brother!
- See! Now he will be beaten up.

- Tell me, who is the leader here?
- I, tell me?

- You.
- Yes.

If, you have courage my friend...

- Kill him and show.
- What is he doing?

Come my son! Come!

- Come! Come! There's no problem.
- Go no.

What! You will kill us?

- He will kill us.
- You will kill us?

You will kill?

(Ambulance Siren) (Sighs)

He's gone mad.

What happened to him?

He's gone mad I guess!

(Laughter)

Why is he laughing?

I think he's gone mad...

Will you come for 9-12 show,
this is what you say right?

This is what you say to every girl?
There's no lady in your house?

Wherever! You see girls, you come
wagging your tails like a dog.

Tell me, are they your sisters?

If your sister was there at that
stage, would you tease her like that?

I'll kill you...

I'll bury you under the ground,

you will not be fortunate
enough to get the coffin also.

Come here! Apologize.

Hey, Imraan hashmi apologize, you
also apologize to your sisters.

- Apologise! They are your sisters.
- Sorry! Sorry!

- Come on! Get lost from here, Go.
- I'ts Ok. It's Ok.

- Is there a show going on here,
everyone go home. - Claps!

(Claps)

- Why are they clapping? - You don't
know, Guruji became a minister.

- Look in front.
- Ok.

- Thank you!
- Thank you so much!

Ok girls, before it's problamatic,
let's leave. We've got to go, come on!

(Background Music)

(Background Music.)

(Background Music)

(Background Music)

(Background Music)

Maggie!

It's 2:00am. Atleast, now go off to sleep.

(Gasps)

- Shipra!
- Yes.

- I'm not feeling sleepy.
- I think...

You are either affected by insomania,
or some big disease than that.

Which disease?

Have you, fallen in love with that boy?

(Grunts)

Hey! Why are you kissing me.

You have already kissed me
twice, your gonna rape me now?

- Slavish!
- Hey, Gole!

- That girl will spoil my mind.
- Ok.

- She started coming in my dreams.
- Oh nice!

- Sleep!
- But, I don't trust you.

- I don't trust myself.
- You face that side and sleep.

- I'll sleep.
- Ok.

I'm putting LOC in between.

Sleep Sinner! Sleep!

Oh! Eat betel of Banaras,

which opens the lock of your common sense.

Son, Agra boys will not leave you.

(Whisles)

- Gole!
- Yes.

Since the time, I've seen that NGO
girl, I can see her everywhere.

Bro! You have bitten me more
than, mosquitos in the night.

Finally your done with your Dubai shopping.

First, that coffee shop.

- Second, in the market.
- Ok.

- Yes! Go on, I'm listening to you.
- And third, in that betel selling guy.

- Brother! I think she is in front of me.
- Whatever!

- Shipra! This is that same boy right?
- Yes.

- I can see her, here also.
- You are gone crazy.

What?

Maggie!

Maggie!

(Song)

(Song)

No! (Sighs)

(Sneeze)

- No Kiss!
- Why?

- This is a public place.
- Are you from a Kiss Rescue Team?

(Kiss sound)

- Take this.
- Maggie! Let's go, our bus will leave.

Maggie! This is a good name, Maggie.

- She can get ready in two minutes.
- What nonsense, she is your sister-in-law.

Oh! Sister-in-law, village is not yet
settled and naxalites are already here.

Nice!

(Door open sound)

We are here brother.

Gole! Come with me.

You'll take me along with
you to your honeymoon?

- I'm going.
- Then, go.

- Aadab!
- Hi!

Come soon! All are seated in the car.

What a coincidence, that we bumped
into each other again today.

(Chuckles)

Will there be more such coincidences?

This coincidence happened,
again with coincidence.

- Will see if we meet again in Noida.
- Wow!

Such a deep impact of me?

We haven't even met properly yet,
and you started saying poetry.

(Rasp)

- It has been requested, Bye!
- Tell me.

- Brother! She didn't give her number.
- She told you about her city, what else?

- How will I find her, in such a big city?
- We have to find a girl, not a house.

- We will find her, what house?
- Ok will find, let's go!

- Oh! Girl?
- Yes.

(Bird Chirping)

Let me call joy.

(Bird Chirping)

- "Hello Joy! I'm coming to greater Noida."
- "Yes brother, ok come I'm waiting."

(Vehicle sound)

Hello!

Yes! Ok brother, now I'm going to Noida,
there I got contract in bar for two night.

Ok brother, once it's done, I'll
be back to Bombay, Ok, Ok bye.

What are you doing doctor?

(Laughing)

"This is Doctor Shaker,
MBBS first class fail."

"He was thrown out of his college."

"So, he opened his clinic,
in greater Noida."

"Now, god is only the saviour,
for the people residing here."

Son! You must have heard, walls have ears,
these walls are old, so I'm checking them.

- What kind of problem do you have?
- Atleast, first come out.

Why not! Why not! I'll come, sorry!

Doctor, yesterday I was with my friends
on the bike and met an accident.

They've got less injuries,
but I'm more hurt.

But, when I heard your
name, Doctor Shaker...

- I was relieved, now you can shake me.
- I'll keep you shaking.

Your body parts are resting,
they have stopped responding.

We have to wake them up,
and give injection.

- Are you a doctor or a motor mechanic?
- I used to be motor mechanic before.

Shall I start?

- Gabbar! Come with my shaking tools.
- Yes, Boss.

- Give it to me.
- Boss, your tool.

- Doctor! What is this, so big?
- You will be relieved, when you take this.

What happened? Oh my god, Jesus christ!
What have you done doctor?

I didn't ask you to shake me this much.

(Car Door open)

(Car Door closed)

(Bird Chirping)

- My brother!
- Welcome back.

- Joy! Let me take the bag.
- Let's enjoy, come on!

- There are so many problem.
- Your brother, is here...

- All your tension, will be over.
- There are too many problems in life.

(Harmonium sound) (Bird Chirping)

Oh!

- Sister-in-law, nice!
- Come, I'll introduce her to you.

(Car Door open)

- Hello!
- Hello!

(Rasp)

After looking at sister-in-law...

- I would like to recite a poetry.
- Bark!

- You are Noorjahan or are you Umraojaan?
- Wow!

You are Noorjahan or are you Umraojaan?

You are that question for which,
there's no answer, sister-in-Law.

- Thanks!
- I've told you

I told you right, he will recite a poetry.

- It was pathetic.
- My JGB, what are you tensed about?

- Say,
- Let's go home.

- I'll tell you this story at home.
- Ok.

Wow! Wow! What a beauty.

- Hey! Baldy, go call your manager.
- Yes! Yes!

Oh! I'm the manager.

Excuse me, Ma'am! I'm the manager.

I asked you to call the
manager, not the waiter.

- Go! Call the manager.
- Ma'am! I'm the manager.

See! I'm wearing this coat, shirt, tie
and I'm also wearing the watch Ma'am.

Ok! Waiter/ manager, show me one room now.

Ma'am! What kind of room you would
like to see, moonlight, sunlight...

- Hotlight or lowlight?
- Tubelight.

Show me a sea facing room, with
cold breeze coming from outside.

Ma'am! There is no sea, behind the window.

- But, there's a monkey who has yamuna.
- Monkey!

Show me a room, fast, and
what are these clocks for?

- I guess your time is not good.
- My time is perfect, this shows Newyork.

This shows London's time and yes
ma'am, this shows, New Delhi's time.

- Which time you want?
- I can also see that, show me the room.

- I'll show you the room ma'am, the keys.
- Hold my bag.

(Key sound)

Why are you so quiet about it? I
would have shut him off by now.

- Is he a doctor or a Gimmickry?
- Let it go man.

Now, the thing which has to stand,
has stood, we will see him later.

- I've bigger problems than that.
- What?

Which I want to be resolve before, mom
and dad come back from Pondichery.

- Bro, show me some way out of this.
- Should I say something?

- Your problem is actually, very big.
- I've to impress her father.

- Tell me, how can I win
this oldy's heart?

By the way, what is Oldy's name?

Zaffar Abbazi.

Wow! Very nice! Very nice!

On the leaders path...

Children show us how to walk,
this country is your's...

Fry and eat it.

Mr. Mishra.

You know, where these goods are going?

Sir! You don't worry at all.

We will get each and every vote, from here.

But sir, tell me one thing,
if you had to do all this...

Then, why did you bet, in
front of that boy name, Joy?

Have to, and you know...

A Human becomes, passionate in love.

And see, in passion all those...

Minority, christian minority vote,

will be in our pockets.

But Sir, do you believe
that he will able to this?

Yes, I believe it completely.

Yes, I believe it.

But, he believed in us...

that was a terrible mistake.
I am politician after all.

We will sacrifice our lives...

but, will never fulfill the promises.

(Drinking sound)

(Bottle cork closed sound)

What are you doing brother?

Hey, this is your brother's way, to
think deeply on any serious subject.

And with every seconds ticking away,
your brother constantly dwells on it.

Bro, kindly do not exhaust too
much of your energy, for my sake.

That, you seriously get sleep disorder.

I've already figured out solution, for your
problem. Now, I'm thinking about my love.

What! You also?

- Hello!
- What were you thinking?

Were you expecting me to die,
without celebrating my honeymoon.

I swear on to the Taj Mahal.
I am young as well.

Hey, I belong to Agra.

- I too have some wild fantasies.
- Well, I was expecting it, anyway.

Brother, this is Greater Noida, at
least speak in Hindi over here.

And what about these fantasies? Who are
these for? At least, tell her name.

- Maggie! Maggie! Yes brother, Maggie!
- Maggie!

- Maggie Noodles? - Her name is
Maggie, she resides at Greater Noida.

Oh is it! That's why, I was wondering, how
come, you have moved here so quickly.

- Have you told her that you stay here?
- You know, what she says...

She says "If you are so
passionate about your love"...

"If you are so passionate about your love,
then, come and find me in greater Noida".

- Who throws such bullshit challenges?
- No one, I guess.

Hey, how will I will find
her, in this unknown city?

(Background Music) (Vehicle Sound)

(Bike sound)

(Bird Chirping)

(Temple bell sound)

Lord Hanuman! All glory to lord Ram.
Lord Hanuman...

I've watched the Ramayan on television.
I'm your biggest fan.

Please help me to find maggie's
address, just like the way...

you helped lord Ram to find Sita's.

Since four days, I've been looking
for her, in the entire city.

I couldn't spot her anywhere.

(Cell Phone Ringing)

Please help me! Excuse me, lord Hanuman!
This phone rings anytime.

(Cell Phone Ringing)

- Yes, Gole! - You bugger, you forgot
your friend, after going there.

No man! I'm standing on the road, in
scorching sunlight, looking for...

her since four days.
I couldn't find her, till now.

Is it true?

Wow! Lord Hanuman, you are faster than 4G.

- You heard me so fast! Love you!
- What are you blabbering?

- I found her! I found your Sister-in-law.
- Our brother found his girl.

(Shouts)

(Water sound)

- That mall didn't have good collection.
- Forget about the collection.

I feel that boy is somewhere around here.

Come on! You suffer insomnia at night,
in the day time, you see him everywhere.

(Sighs)

Grow up! What happened with you?

(Bird Chirping)

(Background Music)

(Bird Chirping)

"You are my love".

"You are my god".

"I live in your...

memory forever".

"You are my prayer".

"You are mine".

(Background Music)

(Background Music)

(Background Music)

Do one thing, you guys sit around and talk.
I got to go to Dubai. Bye!

- Bye.
- Best of luck!

Well, you've aggrieved me a lot.

I have roamed around aimlessly,
just to have a glimpse of you.

And finally, you found me!

I have loved you with so much of passion,
that I can find you from anywhere.

- You love me that much?
- Who said you, that I love you?

You are not my need, you are my desire.

But sometimes, desires don't get fulfilled.

My desire is in front of my eyes.

I wish, I could see such lovely face...

for my entire life.

"Like breaths."

"I feel like breathing now".

"Since the time, you have..."

come near to me".

"Since the time, you have..."

come near to me".

"I want to live in your dreams forever".

"I just have one..."

"Your hangover".

"You are my love".

"You are my god".

"Your eyes are slowly
revealing me something".

"I don't know since when..."

"You are living in my heart".

"I don't know since when..."

"You are living in my heart".

"I want to live with you forever".

"I just have one..."

"Your hangover".

"You are my love".

"You are my god".

"I live in your..."

"Memory forever".

"You are my prayer".

"You are mine".

(Background Music)

(Background Music)

(Background Music)

"You are mine".

- I wish, you were coffee.
- What?

If you were coffee, then I would
have drank you, sip by sip.

You would have clunged
like foam, to my lips,

And, I would have drank every last drop.

What do you mean?

I mean, let's have coffee.
It's getting cold.

Yes.

- Okay Aman! I would like to
tell you something? - Tell me.

We have been dating each
other, since so long now.

So, I was thinking to invite
you, to meet my family.

Even I'm so excited to meet them.

- Really? Ok.
- Yeah.

- So, who all are there, in your family?
- In my family...

- Miss Briganza, dad and my elder brother.
- So, who is Miss Briganza?

Miss. Briganza! She is my caretaker.

Ok.

She has taken care of me and my elder
brother, since mom passed away.

Okay.

So, she must be very caring, I guess.

She is an amazing person.

Idiot! Where are you? Why are
you not picking up my call?

- And, where is maggie?
- How would I know Aunty?

- I'm not in a state to go home.
- What have you done, rascal?

I have not done. It has happened with me.
All because of some fake doctor.

Okay dear! I've come to Noida.
Everything will be fine.

Okay! May that doctor go to hell.

Now, I'll talk to Maggie.
You take care, son.

(Cell Phone Ringing) Oh my god!

She will live for 100 years.
I'll just take a minute.

- Hello Aunty! How are you?
- I'm fine dear. I've reached home.

- But, how are you? And where are you?
- I'm too good. I am not in city now.

Well aunty, I have a very
good surprise for you.

- Surprise! What surprise dear?
- Yes.

- I'll tell you, when I'll meet you.
- Okay dear.

- Bye! Bye! Come soon.
- Bye.

- Aunty? Yes.
- Oh Maggie! You have freshen up?

Okay Aunty! I've a surprise for you.

- Surprise! Say it!
- Yes.

This is Aman and, he is
the love of my life.

Really! Wow!

Boy is very smart.

But Maggie, you should not
trust any strange boy.

Don't worry aunty! Aman is very
different from rest of the boys.

What does he do? (Background Music)

Oh shit!

I forgot to ask him.

- And, he has never mentioned it to me.
- How careless, Maggie!

Did you tell Dad about him?

Yes I did. And, he will
be meeting dad tomorrow.

Tomorrow! But baby, tomorrow I have...

..doctor's appointment. Tomorrow
we have to go hospital.

Ok. No problem. I'll make you
meet him next time. But aunty...

Whatever dad decides... but you
have to take the final decision.

Ok, Aunty! There's one
more surprise for you.

How many surprises will you give?

This is 'Arshkalp', this will help you
a lot for piles related problems.

My Darling! You take care of me so much.

(Background Music)

"You are Baby doll of gold."

"You are Baby doll of gold,
you are Baby doll of gold."

Joy! What are you doing here at this time?

- And, what is this? Put this down.
- I had told you about that doctor, right?

You have such bizarre diseases. Come
inside or else mosquitoes will bite.

You must be feeling bad that,
other than you and your father,

someone else is also drinking my blood.

Speak slowly! Daddy is in a very
deep sleep, you will wake him up.

Oh really! That balloon has blown away
my sleep, and he is having a deep sleep.

I'll prick him with a needle in such a
way that, all his air will come out.

Stop this nonsense, and get in.

- Let's go!
- Let's go!

- Let's go.
- What kind of diseases you have!

This Balloon has...

- This Balloon has built very small doors.
- Lean down.

- One, two, three. - What kind of doctors
you consult? Who gets such diseases?

- You are out of limit. Sit here!
- Ok.

What have you thought about elections?

If this balloon bursts in the
forthcoming elections...

- We will not be able to meet as well.
- Baby! You don't worry.

I have trust in God and the
love we have for each other.

Insha-Allah! We will only win.

- Shaheen! I mean... whatever.
- It's Ameen!

Ok, listen!

I want...

..to steal and take away this
beautiful moon as soon as possible.

So, when are you landing on this moon?
My Neil Nitin Mukesh.

Oh, Aliya Bhatt! Not Neil Nitin
Mukesh, he was Neil Armstrong.

Baby! You know that my science is not good.

Not Science baby, it's general knowledge.

Since the time I have given you my
heart, my mind has stopped working.

- Really?
- Really!

(Cricket Chirping)

(Fridge door open sound)

(Falling steel plate sound)

(Goat voice) (Upbeat Music)

Baby, get up! Dad might get up.

This balloon doesn't even
let me kiss properly.

No! No! Go, go.

(Cat sound)

There are lot of cats in this area,

when I'll become an MLA...

..first I'll dismiss the municipality.

(Bird Chirping)

- Tiwari!
- Yes.

(Bird Chirping)

- I feel like having something sour.
- Sir, you and sour?

You didn't understand.

I mean to say that, the order I have
placed to make two lakh pickle jars...

- ..to give away before the elections...
- Ok!

- I feel like tasting them.
- Ok!

Sir, now the mangoes are cut,

And getting dried in our garden,
then spices will be added to it...

Then, oil will be added, and,
it will also take time to dry.

But sir, the more the Pickle is old...

more people will vote,
and while having food...

They will remember
our 'Raw Mango Party.'

Very Good! Very Good!

- Hello!
- How are you?

- Good!
- Ok. Meet, Aman. The love of my life.

Sit!

(Background Music)

- What is your name?
- Sir, my name is Aman.

- What is your complete name?
- Let it go, sir. What's in a name?

Sir, I feel something fishy.

- What kind of name do you have?
- Sir, everyone likes to call me Aman.

Aman! Even I don't know your
complete name. Tell me?

- Even I want to know.
- You love me or my surname?

Sir! Something's definitely wrong.

Till the time, you don't
tell your complete name...

- How will I take everything ahead?
- Sir! Aman...

- Osama.
- Speak out loud.

- Aman Osama!
- Why didn't you tell me...

- ..that your name is Aman Osama.
- Baby! You never asked me.

Relax Kids!

Look son! It's good that
there's no Bin laden in your

surname, otherwise, it would
have been big problem.

(Bird Chirping)

Anyway, it's a part of joke.

See, I believe in all the religions.
My thinking is like this.

Because my mother herself
was hindu, from U.P.

But, question is not about my thinking...

..it's about my political party.
Elections are coming soon.

If tomorrow, people come to
know that, MLA's daughter...

..was roaming with a muslim boy,
then, you know what can happen?

But, don't be afraid. I haven't
completed my conversation yet.

I have a solution for every problem.

Tell me, what do you do?

Oh God! I haven't told maggie
yet, about the kissing booth...

Then, how can I tell them both?

- Aman! Tell dad about your work.
- Sir!

I love maggie endlessly.

- And I can do anything for her.
- Sir wants to know, what work you do?

(Getting shock)

As of now, I do nothing.
Looking for a good job.

- Sir! He is a slacker.
- Oh fine, this is good.

You have got the job, young man!

And we have only one solution
for this surname problem...

You prove yourself in front of my party.

Sir! What trick have you played now?

By promoting my party, in
the forthcoming elections.

At your level best.

Do something so that, I
get all the muslim votes.

(Background Music)

Listen! You have got three weeks time.

I have to beat that Zafar
Abbasi in any condition.

If I win the election then, your
marriage will be fixed with Maggie.

Otherwise! Forget Maggie.
(Cell Phone Ringing)

- I have come to ask her hand or vote.
- Hello.

- Excuse me! Yes, tell me.
- Dad!

Idiot!

Aman!

- Aman! What happened?
- What?

Raw mango has made my teeth raw.

- Means?
- You know, your dad tricked me.

- Sir, you made a promise but,
will you fulfill it? - Khanduri!

Just understand that, to
balance my daughter, I have...

shot the arrow in darkness.

Bro! What have you thought,
whose side are you?

Brother! How will I know that,
she is also MLA's daughter.

Brother! I think your girlfriends
dad and my girlfriends dad...

..are fooling both of us. They know it...

That till the election is over,
we will be lost in the crowd.

If they win, they will be on their way.

And if they lose, still,
they will be on their way.

What will we get? Nothing.
That's why, I'm telling you...

- Enjoy life and leave tension.
- What are you saying?

- Brother! I have only one.
- Sorry! Sorry!

You punctured it.

You know that, they are going away
from our hands. That doesn't mean...

..you will not leave me worth for anybody.

Sorry! Sorry! I got angry on them.

- That's why it happened.
- Ok.

I'll meet my girl tomorrow, and
talk to her. To know her plans.

(Fountain water sound)

Baby! Have it.

What happened to you?
Why are you so worried?

- Aman! I'm worried about two things.
- Like?

- Like... you are Osama and I'm Obama.
- And second thing?

- Your work Aman! Who run's kissing booth?
- I do, baby! In today's era...

..for Laila majnu, far from
the eyes of the world...

..to live in solitude for peace of mind,

..if I give them a safe...

..place to kiss, then, what's
wrong in that? You tell me.

That is all ok, Aman! You
have explained me...

But, what about Briganza aunty?
How are we gonna explain her?

Just assume, if I tell
her about dad's bet...

But, dad's bet is not easy.

Will you be able to fulfill that?

Baby! You don't worry. Insha-allah!

I'll do everything possible to
fulfill your dad's condition.

- It's not that.
- Then, what it is Baby?

I think...

- You are hiding something from me.
- Aman!

- I want to tell you something.
- Tell me, what it is?

(Claps)

- But, why?
- Tell me about your work?

Sir! I'm looking for a job, you know
talented people don't get job easily.

Very Good! Fine! Excellent!

Because they were inter-caste
like us, Aman...

and uncle never believed in inter-caste.

And one day, Maria thought that, she
will never get her love in this house.

So, she decided to leave
the house, and she left.

Uncle could not bear this shock.

So, he died because of heart attack.

I'm very scared, Aman!

This should not happen with us.

(Ambulance Siren)

Aman! Aman!

(Laughs)

What have you thought about me?
I'm an idiot!

Who will be a dog, in front of any leader!

When he will say I'll bark, bite
and wag my tail in front of him.

I am a true revolutionary, I am not
going to bend in front of any leader.

- Even if it is my dad or your's.
- Aman!

How dare you say this about my dad?

(Shouts)

- My hand!
- Aman! You...

- Why did you say like that about my dad?
- Why did you push me?

- Why would you do like that? - I
didn't do it intentionally jesus swear.

I have a disease since, childhood.

- Disease? Oh god! Aman what should I do?
- Yes, my hand!

Baby!

- Son! What is the problem?
- Look at this hand...

It has stopped working.

It's your hand or 1000 rupee
note, which has stopped working.

Doctor! Doctor! When I fell...

- It was fine till then. Yes do it.
- Now, everything will be ok.

I'll make everything right, Gabbar!

- Gabbar! You are standing here.
- Baby! It's paining a lot.

Go and get my, shaking tool from my draw.

Go! Go! Go! He is a very nice boy.

Nowadays! You don't get such people.
He is a single piece, cut piece.

- Baby! Where did you find this doctor?
- No problem Baby! Get your treatment done.

Thank you.

- I found him in haste.
- Baby! So big?

- The bigger, the faster the benefit is.
- Nothing! Will happen.

- Are you ready? One two...
- No! No!

- Three.
- Mom!

I request you all...

To vote for the orange party, and we
win with a heavy majority. Thank you!

Brother's I request you...

To elect our party in this
election, to win with heavy votes.

Our blessings's are with you, go
start the preparation for election.

And, give us a huge amount of votes.

Hail to Orange party.

- Orange party.
- Hail to Raw mango party.

You had given us five years
chance to serve you.

Uproot such villiany government.

- Orange party.
- Hail to Raw mango party.

(Bike horn sound)

(Vehicle sound)

What is the matter brother?

When Zaffar's man came, you said I'll vote.
When Obama's man came, you said I'll vote.

- I can't understand anything.
- My Friend!

Even, I'm playing politics with them,
just the way they play with us.

(Music)

- Will you tell me what's wrong with you?
- Joy! You tell her man.

I feel like murdering, that doctor shaker.

I never even thought, that we will be
meeting first time with your girlfriend,

- And all this will be happening with us.
- Means?

Guys it really doesn't matter, Aman!
You tell us what happened?

This! This! This has happened to me.

- The thing what right hand does,
- Yes.

Left hand does, exactly the opposite.
That too, hard.

Confused? Wait! I'll explain in detail.

While having food, this
hand picks the spoon.

So, this keeps it back, while bathing I
open tap from this hand so this closes it.

I have not bathed for three days.

And, in toilet I take mug from
this hand, it keeps it back.

If I take soap with this hand,
then this hand keeps it back.

I'm not bathing, eating
or washing properly.

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! But Joy!

- You have jet system in your washroom?
- That is also not working.

I only know how I wash, nobody
will understand my pain.

When consiously, I work with left hand
then, right hand works very normal.

As soon as, the precautionary loss
happens, accident takes place.

Oh Jesus! Why are we getting
so many problems...

- Aman! What will we do now?
- What we will do?

- Will go and beat that damn doctor.
- Exactly!

Due to his injections I got all
this sickness. I'll kill him.

Aman! That we will see later.

- But, now let's enjoy.
- Joy!

Let's enjoy!

"It beats in my chest, everytime
it sulks, Look! Back and forth."

"It changes many colors, beats in my chest
everytime it sulks, Look! Back and forth."

"It changes many colors. You

become puppet, You fool anyone."

"If not this then you, if
not you then someone else."

"Heart lifehacker, Heart lifehacker."

"Heart lifehacker, Heart lifehacker, Heart
lifehacker, Heart lifehacker it is."

"Heart lifehacker, Heart lifehacker,
Heart lifehacker it is."

"Picks up everyone, falls for everyone.
There should be no break to it,."

"Hence, stays in rumor, flies
a lot, And lives Careless."

"Why you behave naughty,
be like a gameboy."

"If not this then you, not you then else."

"Heart lifehacker, Heart lifehacker, Heart
lifehacker, Heart lifehacker it is."

"Heart lifehacker, Heart lifehacker,
Heart lifehacker it is."

"Can't you let a star, better
let me get it to you."

"It beats, lives like a boss, when
look for girls behave happily."

"You stay confused, and count starts in
Daytime, you'll not get a beauty like me."

"Why you stay far away?"

"If not this then you, if
not you then someone else."

"Heart lifehacker, Heart lifehacker, Heart
lifehacker, Heart lifehacker it is."

"Heart lifehacker, Heart lifehacker, Heart
lifehacker, Heart lifehacker it is."

- Gabbar! You...
- You!

- Doctor! - Where is the doctor?
- You stupid...

You treated my left hand instead of right.

What is this? - Everyday something
or the other happens with me.

I had not given invitation that,
come to me and take injection.

This is not a doctor. He
is some mad scientist.

What is this?

- Doctor doesn't have a degree.
- There's no degree?

- You ruined our life. - Doctor!
- You don't have degree?

(Shouting)

We won Gabbar! We won!

(Barks)

Stupid!

(Grunts)

Oh my god!

Boss! You shake everyone...

They shook you and went.

Sisters! Brothers!

The opposition party character
is just like their name.

Orange party, like we eat orange...

If we get any seeds, we throw it away.

- I am right or wrong?
- Right!

So brother, their character is like this
only. They do the same thing with you.

This time, you give us chance to come
again, so that we can serve you.

(Claps)

And now, your's only Aman Osama!
Would like to say something.

- Are you ready? Go!
- Yes Sir, I'm ready!

Friends! We are all gathered here today...

For Obama's support. Clap please!

(Claps)

On the sixth of the month...

The messiah of our poor,

Politicians, Workers and we all...

Muslim brother's favourite,
can get Sagar Obama in power.

Villiany will end,

Corruption, rape, everything
will come to an end.

- What was next?
- What happened?

- What happened?
- I forgot to tie this.

Gaurav, kindly explain it to him.

(Ambulance Siren)

You all have come to watch this
idiot's rally, he will come...

will stand here with folded hands and
a smiling face asking for votes.

And all you'll do is applaud that.

You all are impotent and
habitual to slavery.

First you were slaves of the Britishers
and now of these corrupt politicians.

In their reign, flour became costlier
than data. Look at their faces.

It's like squeezed mango and name
of the party is 'Raw Mango Party'.

"- They will sour your
teeth with raw mango."

Gaurav, make him understand.

Brothers! Sympathiser like him...

good leader, you will not get anywhere
in the world. So, let Obama...

win with your majority of votes.

Oh my God! What nonsense is this?

I think he's mad. We have not taken
off from our work to do timepass.

C'mon, let's go.

Please wait. You all will get
one kilo mango pickle. - Yes.

I don't understand what happens to me.

I say anything. I have
become very frustrated.

Now, Obama will definitely kill Osama.

(Messaging sound ringtone)

Whose message is it?

- Can't you keep quiet! Hold this tightly.
- Okay bro, carry on.

What nonsense is this?

- You know what is she saying?
- What?

She is saying that tie your hand and come.

Tie your hand and come.

Someone go and explain that it's my hand
and not a dog that can be tied anywhere.

- Bro your instant poetry habit is
still there. - I have no control on it.

- Is it poetry or shit?!
- You say anything like Gola!

- Whose Gola now?
- My friend from Agra.

He is just like you, talks stupid.

You are gone... wait!

Oh, this is over.

Let's check here. It's not here as well?

Take this. Take this. This
is what you required.

Now I'll see how you get rid of it.
Monkey, I love you.

(Cell Phone Ringing)

- "Hello?"
- Yes!

Where are you? I'm waiting
for you for so long.

This lover is standing at your doorstep.

- Open the gate madam!
- I'm coming.

(Foot Steps)

- Finally you've come. Come inside!
- Let's go.

- So what did you bring for aunty?
- See for yourself.

(Dog Whine)

- Aman! What have you brought?
- What's the problem with this?

Look how cute they are and this was the
best that I could have got from that shop.

- Dogs are a man's best friend. - Aman.
- I forgot to tell you one thing.

What is it?

Aunty doesn't like dogs. In
fact she never liked any pets.

She thinks that pets are very dirty.
So we don't have any pet in the house.

If she saw you with this then she'll
throw you out along with this.

Why didn't you tell me this before?!

Your whole city has sworn that
you will trouble this Agra boy.

I'm so sorry. I forgot. You do one
thing hide them somewhere here.

- Move aside!
- Yes. Hide them here.

- Son you stay here.
- Come on. Quick.

Let's go.

(Bird Chirping)

Okay.

(Door open sound)

- This is my house.
- Wow!

- Your house is very beautiful.
- Thank you!

Just like you.

Sit!

Let's remove the cushion and
let me come closer to you.

"Maggie!"

- Hello aunty. Aman. - Hello dear.
- Please sit down.

So Maggie, shall we start the interview?

- Interview?
- Yes.

And I'm sure, Aman is prepared.

As it is I'm troubled by this hand
and on top of that, love exam...

Don't worry, it will be fine. Ok aunty!

So, let's set up a court room okay?

She will be the judge, he is the
culprit and I will be the lawyer.

- Let's do it.
- Okay.

I don't understand whether
I have loved or sinned?

Okay, so the set up is ready.

- You come here.
- Coming! Aunty blessing.

- Best of luck dear.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- You promise me.

I promise you that I will speak the truth,

and I will not say
anything except the truth.

- Okay aunty so let's start the interview.
- Okay. First question.

- Can you cook Chinese,
Continental and Thai? -Thai?

Because our Maggie doesn't
even know how to make Maggi.

What is this? Aunty I'm
learning on Youtube channel.

- I'll make it fast. - Really!
- Which Youtube channel is this?

Christian, Kadhi Rice...

- Christian Kadhi, Christian curry. Yep.
- Oh, good good!

Do you know how to clean the house?

- Because our Maggie loves cleanliness.
- Sweeping, mopping!

(Wedding music)

- No...
- What happened?

I can do all of it very swiftly.

And I can do anything for Maggie.

- Anything?
- Yes.

- Even laundry?
- Why not?

- Final.
- Okay good boy.

Our Maggie get's bored very soon. What
will you do to entertain her and how?

My Lord! Can I come out of this
witness box and entertain you both?

Sure! Permission granted.

- Listen Maggie. Do you have a
green scarf? - I'll just get it.

Okay.

Oh it's here. Please help me.

Will you both sing for me?

- Which one?
- "What is your work in my courtyard..."

"The one whose wife is fair
is also very popular."

"Make her sit in the room...
there's no use of electricity."

If the interview is done then...

- then can we decide the salary?
- Salary?

I mean the job is confirmed?

(Dog Whine)

Hey!

How did this puppy come inside the house?

Aunty, when I'm very happy so...

- I speak in such a tone.
- Yeah!

Really?

But, tell me one thing man!
Why are you getting so happy?

Because, I cleared the
interview that's why.

Who told you that you
cleared the interview?

(Dog Whine)

Where are the sound of
two puppies coming from?

Aunty when I'm very happy
then me and my inner soul...

make sounds together.

Oh!

Young Man, do you speak
with your inner soul?

- Yes.
- Very Interesting. Maggie...

I think this man is perfect for you because

he is learning to cook, he can clean and
also entertain you. You're selected boy.

- "What is your work in my courtyard..."
- Wow!

So sweet of you aunty.

You slapped me?

I am really sorry aunty. I don't know
when it came out of my pocket Maggie.

How dare you slap me. Remove
your hand, remove your hand!

I am extremely sorry aunty. I forgot
to tell you about his strange illness.

- His left hand does the opposite of the
right. -Why didn't you tell her before?

- I'm sorry. - You remove your
hand and get out of my house!

Are you fine aunty?

(Laughs)

- You almost killed the old woman.
- You are laughing a lot. Okay laugh.

My relationship is at stake
and you're laughing!

Only Maggie understands
my problems otherwise...

we two would have sat here
singing breakup songs!

I feel like cursing this hand!

But what to do? In the end I'm at loss.

I can't understand...

This Monkey labelled chemical
didn't do what it was meant to.

- And did what it wasn't supposed to.
- Don't you remember some couplet now?

You're talking about couplets! Here one
doesn't know how the Nifty is doing.

- If you may, I'll say something...
- Yes say while you're running.

- A curse has made home in my heart...
- Is it a heart or a pickle?

Nowadays it feel like a pickle only!
A curse has made home in my heart...

and you speak of smiling! Here
my condition isn't improving,

- and you speak of forgetting this pain.
- Oh wow amazing!

There is a catch, those two should not
come to know that we're brothers!

Or else, your brother's dream of becoming
a husband will never be fulfilled.

You're right, friend.

- I am going for one more round.
- Ok.

Oh, shit!

Oh, I am hurt here too!

(Cell Phone Ringing)

- Yes, brother.
- Oh my sweetheart, how are you?

- I am Vikram, you are Betal, Where are
you? - I am in Agra. What about you?

I feel like I'm giving
'IAS Exam' of love.

I cleared the written tests,
but failed in the interviews.

Dude, the way Aman-Goli
pair is famous in Agra,

every girl in Greater Noida respects
your brother. - You come to Noida, fast.

I need you a lot.

Don't worry. I am sitting idle
over here, anyways. Here I come.

Oh, what's this?

Joy, let's enjoy! Your brother is healed!
Brother... oh, brother!

Your brother is healed...
brother..oh brother!

Your brother is healed! Your
brother is healed! Oh brother!

Right hand, left hand,
right hand, left hand!

Are you going to dust off
all the dandruff here?

- Give me a hug, your brother is healed.
- I can't give you a hug!

What happened, brother?

- You know, what my issue is!
- It can't be cured.

Brother, I will take
you to the right doctor.

(Foot Steps)

Maggie, what nonsense!

You're still looking at his picture?
You haven't stopped meeting him still?

- Aunty, I love him and I can't leave him.
- Listen,

I have rejected him already
and I will never accept him.

- Aunty, listen to me at least.
- No means, no!

- Sunny, come here fast.
- Coming, Aunty!

Look at this boy's picture carefully.

You need to keep an eye on him.
He should not meet Maggie.

He's the same boy. I
remember, he is very crazy.

He spoilt Dad's election speech that day.
He is purely and completely mad.

Did you hear that?

Now, I will closely watch him. Let's
see, how is he going to marry her!

Who are you to call him mad?

- I'm your brother and it's my duty.
- Duty! My foot! First handle yourself.

- Nobody listens to me here.
- What is wrong with you, Maggie?

Aunty, I'll keep an eye on him.
He won't be spared.

Oh my God, Jesus, what kind
of kids have you given me?

One has shaken me with her love story,
and other doesn't stop shaking.

- Today, I will hit this fellow.
- Go ahead.

Where shall I?

- On his nose.
- Here you go!

- (Doorbell)
- Do it again!

- Who is it?
- Seems like somebody's here.

- Let me see.
- Yes, go.

(Doorbell) Phuggi?

(Door open sound)

Hey, who are you? This is not a
public toilet, this is my house!

- Hey, Joy. Who is it?
- I don't know.

He came from outside and directly went in.

Whose bag is this?

It must be his.

- Let him come out.
- Yes let him, we'll see.

(Flush sound)

Ahh, what a relief! Enjoyed it. Amazing.
Hey, move aside, brother.

Golle, what were you doing inside?

I was making sweets. You want to have
a look? Of course, I was shitting.

You always talk dirty.

So you don’t feel any shame while
shitting, but you're ashamed of

- talking about it out loud.
- Yes.

Everybody shits but nobody talks about it.

There's pleasure in shitting!

- Ahh, it was so delightful! Understood?
- No, we didn't.

- Close your eyes, I'll explain!
- Ok, done.

You close your eyes too. You want
him to be enlightened alone?!

Now imagine, the toilet door is closed.

And you are experiencing heavy
pressure, and its increasing.

It's been 5 minutes, 10 minutes...

It's been half hour now... and now!

Now, if the door opens, who will go first?

- Me, brother.
- No, let me go first, brother.

- I am in heavy pressure, brother.
- I am in heavier! Let me go.

Brother, please, let me go.

- Brother, please, let me go.
- Else, I will do it here only!

- Aman.
- Joy.

- Aman...
- Joy!

- Aman!
- Joy!

Why are you guys fighting to go inside?

- Hey, Gola!
- Who is Gola?

- Gola... Who's Gola?
- Who's Gola?

He is my childhood friend.
He came from Agra.

- He'll help us in our campaigning.
- Ok, that's nice.

But Guys, I really think you need a break.

Look, how messed up you guys
look due to the campaigning!

You're right. We need a break.

- Yeah.
- Yes, she is right.

We all deserve a break.

"Open the bottle and have a drink,
keep your sorrows in your pocket!"

"Gulp it down, Gulp it down!"

"Grab it, if it's free and enjoy.
Grab it and enjoy."

"You may not find it again, find
it today, enjoy it, enjoy it,."

"You'll get intoxicated when you see me,."

"You'll be swooned when you drink alcohol!"

"Our fun will keep overflowing, the
madness of love will spread all over!"

"Grab it, if it's free and enjoy.
Grab it and enjoy."

"You may not find it again find
it today, enjoy it, enjoy it."

"Enjoy it, Enjoy it."

"The atmosphere is pink, so drench in it.
When I move my body, nobody remains safe!"

"I'm out of control, I'll drink a
little more, if I get a chance!"

"Grab it, if it's free, Grab
it, enjoy it, enjoy it..."

"Enjoy it, enjoy it, enjoy it. You may
not find it again, so, enjoy it today."

Baby, so nice the party was!
We enjoyed a lot!

Yes.

Look at him, potty man!

- What are you doing?!
- What are you doing, brother?!

Get up.

- Oh no, I'm already...
- Are you ok?

Oh brother, I'm all well now..

Brother, I'm all well now,
but why did you kick me?

Oh, man...

- Why did you kick me? Tell me.
- There is a reason...

- Tell me.
- Okay...

My Grandma says, I'm born the opposite way.

And, the people who are born this way,

can cure anybody’s brain by their kick.
This was anyways, your butt!

Really?!

Hi-Five!

- What are you doing?
- You did at the wrong time.

You asked for a Hi-Five at the wrong time!

Brother, in life,

that useless fellow,

and that rascal,

- Brother Gole, They have ruined our lives.
- Tell me, who is he? We'll kidnap him!

You're right!

Let's kidnap him!

Aman! How dare you talk
like this about my father?

Being drunk does not give
you rights to talk abruptly!

Yes, dirty people!

Come, let's go home!

Today's breaking news, Greater
Noida's Minister Sagar Obama and...

Minister Jaffar Abasi has been kidnapped!

Shahin!

(Cell Phone Ringing)

Hello.

- Hi Shahin.
- Hi Maggie.

Listen, did you talk to Joy?

No.

- Did you talk to Aman?
- No, he is not even picking up my call.

I mean his phone is switched off.

Any news about Joy?

No, I don't know where he is!

(Spitting)

Brother, what is your name?

- Sir, I'm Minister's person.
- Shut up.

- I'm his PA.
- Oh, he's wearing goggles!

- What is your name?
- My name is Khanduri, Sir.

- I'm asking your name.
- My name is Khanduri.

- And your mother's name?
- Sinduri - And your dad's?

- Tandoori. - That's why you look
like potato! (Chicken clucking sound)

- Sir, should we investigate?
- So tell me..

- Who kidnaped Minister?
- Now Minister...

- is in politics so has lot of enemies.
- Lot of you say.

- Ok maybe not lot.
- Ok ask.

Ok so potato, tell me.

Where were you when the
minister was kidnapped?

Minister wanted to distribute pickles
to the public so I went to do that.

So in minister's name you
distribute his doings?

- Inspector, I was waiting for you.
- I'm telling you today is my lucky day.

We will get money!

- Not money, we will book two tickets
to Goa! - Excuse me, Inspector!

My dad is kidnapped, you start
your investigation fast.

Ma'am even Maggie takes
two minutes to cook.

- Pandit, I'm getting lucky feeling from
your hand. Don't remove keep it. - My hand?

Look behind!

- Did you find out about Maggie's dad?
- You dont worry.

You'll not die a widow. We'll find him.
Isn't it Pandit?

She's not my Mom, she's my caretaker.

- What's she saying?
- She looks after her.

Just like you look after me.

Hey Potato,

- I'm suspecting you.
- I too suspect him.

This is man from our family.
Why are you investigating him?

- Family always has culprit.
- You investigate outside, leave him here.

- Ok let's go.
- Come on, let's go.

- One minute Inspector.
- What?

- I think, I who has kidnapped.
- Who?

Excuse me, handsome...

- So who do you suspect?
- Stand straight.

His straight is upside down.

Tell me one thing..

- Will she go or will he come?
- Will you have a drink? - Keep quite.

So what are your thoughts?

We are still investigating.

We suspect two boys... only suspect.

We will update you once
the things are clear.

- With Cameraman Robin, Phulrani.
- Sir, sir!

Two ministers are kidnapped,
what is police doing?

We are investigating.

We will keep you updated.

Today's breaking news straight from
political den, Greater Noida's

political leader Sagar Obama
and Jafar Abasi is kidnapped.

The political section is quite under
pressure. Police is sure that...

that the party workers
Aman and Joy are involved!

Let's see what happens next. Is the police
right? Or is the culprit someone else?

(Telephone Ringing)

Hello? What happened?

Something big will happen!

- What you're talking?
- Those two Ministers are kidnapped.

- And you two are suspects. - What?
- What are you doing? Let me sleep.

Where is the remote?

We have two party workers, let's
see what they have to say.

- So what do you have to say?
- Get up. - What happened?

Those two are kidnapped.

Your minister is kidnapped,
How are you feeling?

We are feeling very bad. We'll
hunt down the kidnappers!

- We are trapped. What to do?
- Run!

- Gola, come out. - Why are you shouting?
- Come fast.

(Police Siren)

You don't even let me shit in peace.

Now shit in jail, Police has come... run!

Rascals, I've not even washed my hands!

(Police Siren)

(Vehicle Door closed)

(Vehicle Door closed)

Sir this is the house.

Pandit, this is a jail not a house.

Ok tell me one thing, these policemen

- why do they put siren?
- That's a good question.

Its a magic.

- Our work become easy.
- How come?

- We'll find nobody here.
- What are you saying?

- Let' go and check.
- Come on.

Walk forward now.

(Gate open sound)

Praise the lord...

(Mantra Chanting)

Praise the Lord!

So...

Search every nook and
corner of the kitchen.

Find something to eat. Go now!

- Pandit, where are you?
- Coming, sir.

Ok tell me where are they?

- Sir, the news was true.
- Is it?

Check there.

Leave it come here.

These are those two ministers.

So girl's suspect was true.

Yes.

Their phones are switched off as well.

Oh phone is switched off? So these boys,

had made full plans to
kidnap the ministers. -Yes.

I think that's true.

This is a serious matter.

Why are we hiding?

Minister is kidnapped!

Whom are you talking about?

Both ministers are kidnapped!

It's a good news...

But they suspect us.

Oh God, one tension is stuck since morning.

- And you gave another. - Our life is
at stake and you care of shitting.

Situation is like this,

What misfortune I had in love,
I had come to be a lover...

- She left me like a dog.
- That is fine.

We cant run from police forever.
They will suspect us even more.

Let's do one thing. Let's go to the police.

We will tell them everything,
we are innocent, right?

- I've full confidence on him.
- You think we can do anything? - Yes!

And you think police will put
garlands around our necks.

This is UP Police. They will
beat us black and blue.

And not just us,

even our fathers will agree that Osamabin
Laden was killed not by Americans but us.

First of all, we will have to prove ourself
innocent by catching real kidnapper.

Oh really?

These are your girls, and I'm in soup here!
What should I got to police?

- This is like you make kids, but they
do my DNA test. So no! - Brother.

- I'm tensed about Maggie.
- I'm tensed about of Shahin.

- I'm tensed about Pushpa.
- One minute.

- Yes, I've one girl.
- You concentrate on your girl. - Oh, yes!

We can't call them, our phones
must have been tracked.

Gola, your phone is not tracked.
Give me your phone. Come on.

- It's bad habit of watching video in the
toilet - Who watches video in toilet?

There was live India vs Pakistan match.

- If Kohli can perform in pressure so
can I - When police will give pressure,

You won't be able to do anything!

Now tell me, what to do.

Ok there is a solution... You two...

- You two go underground...
- Okay!

- I'll investigate in my own way.
- Dude, you're like Hanuman!

- You will investigate? You'll save
our Sita & Gita? - Yes shit on it.

- You ruin everything by talking shit.
- I meant hug. Give me a hug.

- Ok come here.
- Come.

- Give me a hug too.
- Listen.

I'll meet my girl, you
meet yours and you...

- I'll meet mine - No... you investigate.
- Did you forgot that you are our Hunuman?

I remember. Come on.

- You didnt do it.
- Come on, let's go.

It will be of some use.

(Cricket Chirping)

- Maggie.
- What are you doing here?

- Baby, listen to me.
- I don't want to you.

- What did I do? - You did which
I never expected from you.

And Joy, a person speaks the truth
under the influence of alchohol.

- And you proved that.
- Baby, trust me.

- Had I done that... - I would
have not come here to meet you.

- I would be hiding from police.
- What do I have against your dad?

- He could have kidnapped us.
- And got us killed.

Anytime! Please trust me, Shahin!

Look in my eyes.

Do you think I'll kidnap you dad?

- I do feel like trusting you. - But
till real kidnappers dont get caught.

- You'll be the suspect.
- Now leave me alone.

Please, go away.

I'll not see you, unless
I am proved innocent.

(Cricket Chirping)

Minster, get ready to celebrate.

They will rot in jail!

Let's meet tomorrow at the
Site Five cloth factory.

Oh my!

So this is the reality.

We'll come to know tomorrow,
who all are involved.

Listen...

Tell me what happened, quick!

Listen, we having nothing to fear.

Tomorrow's sunrise will bring new hope.

- What are you saying?
- Just listen.

I've found the culprits. Now, we
don't need to hide for the police.

(Cell Phone Ringing)

- It's Golla.
- Talk to him.

(Cell Phone Ringing)

Golla, how are you? Still alive?

Hey Bro, I'm in a soup!

- So enjoying?
- What enjoying?

- Police are after us with bamboos.
- Did you harass a girl there?

Didn't harass a girl! I'm harrassed!

- What happened Golla?
- The thing is...

I came to save Aman, but now I'm trapped.

Don't ask so many questions now. Come
here and get trapped... I mean, save me!

Hello? Hello?

- Phone got cut...
- What happened?

Aman is trapped in greater
Noida Now we have to leave.

It's Rs.10 ride, I'll give you Rs.10

I am a branded alcohol.

Hey! He's the one who robbed me.
C'mon, follow that scooter.

I'll not leave him. Let him come.

Hey hey...

Come on... catch him!

Stop stop...

Come let's go fast.

(Making dog like a sound)

(Background Music)

- Who are you?
- Who am I?

- Who am I?
- Chaudhary...

Chaudhary Ratansingh Baghi.

(Whispering)

Why did you bring us here?

Keep patience, keep patience!

You'll come to know everything.

I have taken money to kill you.

- Tell us the name of the person who
has asked you to kill us - Shut up!

(Background Music)

Tell us the name. Tell us the name.

- You tell us your last wish.
- Hey, man!

Hey man?

Him! Whom did you call?

- You!
- Me?

Come here.

Chaudhary Ratansingh Baghi is my name!

Really? Come here.

OK. Why?

Come here, man!

- Whatever you want say, say from there.
- Hey you dwarf!

- Do you even know whom you have
kidnapped? - OK. You tell me.

I'm an upcoming MLA.

Upcoming times...

Are going to fly away...

You're not upcoming, you're the going MLA.

Hey Chaudary, I'm the present MLA,
at least fear me. Have shame!

Hey, so many MLAs like you,

serve water around me.

Tell us why and who has
asked you to kidnap us.

We'll tell you, we'll tell you.
What's the hurry?

Sit a while with us, we
want to explain few things.

- We asked to kidnap you.
- And...

I've kidnapped you.

What are you staring at? You've
sucked a lot of this world's blood.

Now it's our time to suck...
Mango... Oranges...

Khanturi... Nagar... you did this?

- Nagar, what is this?
- That what you've taught me, sir.

I am your true pupil.

Me too.

- Now you have to accept my fees.
- Give it!

There is just one lifeline,
and it's your death!

Now Chaudhary, quickly dig their graves...

dig it... dig it... dig it.

So our path to become ministers is cleared.

Hey boys, dig the graves fast...

(Jumping Sound)

Catch them... Catch them. Go!

Come...

Boss...

Come on.

(Background Music)

Oh my God!

I am dead! Remove it!

Aunty bring police to the Site
Five cloth factory, quick!

Do you work for me or him?

- Where is Dad? Where is Dad?
- Inside! Inside! Go. Go.

Hey, wait! These two...

I swear on Jesus Christ, these two
kidnapped our dads. - He is lying!

- Yes!
- You rascal!

Oh my Malaika!

Malaika!

Sweetheart...

Dance and show.

Come on.

(Song)

"My heart started beating,
And now I am afraid."

"My heart started beating."

Oh my gun...

Catch it... Get it fast!

Aman, pick the gun!

Pick the gun!

Aman, pick the gun!

Leave me... I've not even married!

Hey come here.

- Daddy!
- Untie us!

- How did this happen?
- Golla!

Get down! Rascal!

- Are you fine?
- Golle!

Ahhhhhhh...

(Shouting)

(Shouting)

What's happening?

He is down and I'm up!

Hey,

Idiot, give my money back!
Idiot, give my money back!

- Idiot, give my money back!
- Leave me. Get hold of her!

- Arrest them!
- Oh my God! See this inspector!

- Police?
- Arrest them all.

- I'm not involved.
- Police!

Come down.

Come down fast.

- Where are you stuck?
- I'm unconscious!

- Why are you picking me up?
- Come, I'll show you.

- Oh my hat...
- Yes come.

Short fellow... Just look at him!

- Inspector, arrest these criminals,
these snakes. - Nagar, come here!

I gave you wealth...

Gave you name, gave place in the party.

And you did this to me?
And these boys who I...

used... saved my life?

My head was not in its place. Forgive me!

- Inspector, arrest him!
- We'll cure your head. Come! S.

Come. Come on everyone!

- I'm very ashamed!
- No sir, nothing like that.

I didn't know you loved
my daughter so much!

Come take her hand...

- Joy come here..
- Live your life!

One minute? What is all this?

Yes Ms. Braganza, even I thought wrong.

I thought these boys are good for nothing.
But today...

Today after saving me they proved,

that their value is much more than me.

That's why today, for the very first
time, I am fulfilling the promise.

Aunty don't be angry...

Now he is your son-in-law, please forget
we are Christian and he is Muslim.

Please.

Come here.

- Go!
- Yes Aunty!

First you promise me, you
will keep my daughter happy!

I promise Aunty, I will always
keep your daughter happy!

- So sweet!
- No, no, no...

Aunty, don't worry I am cured.
I'm all good now.

Ok. Ok. I accept you!

So I'll recite a poem...

- Oh no! Ok! Say!
- Say!

Father-in-law listen to this...

Your love created so much noise!

Your love created so much noise!

When Obama loved Osama!

(Clapping)

All this is fine, but look here!

What happened director sir?

Brother!

Who will give her payment?

No no he robbed, why would you pay?

What should we have to do?

Brother, let's pack up, say pack up!

"I'm a brand new bottle,."

"I'm a brand new bottle,."

"I'm single, I'm brave,
You winked at me..."

"My heart beats fast, it's
shivering, I'm disease of love!"

"There's no punishment, You enjoy
now, You can embrace me now!"

"There's no punishment, You enjoy
now, You can embrace me now!"

"I'm a brand new bottle,."

"I'm a brand new bottle,."

"Lovers make a crowd around me, How can
I say yes to one and no to other?"

"My breathe is intoxicating, I energize
each cell. With these eyes, with my talks."

"They get killed without getting shot!"

"I'm a brand new bottle,."

"I'm a brand new bottle,"

I'm not for free, you need to pay,
If you get me, there will be a raid.

You get trapped in each sip, I'm
naughty and I'll spoil you.

"I'm a whiskey and very risky, you
will get intoxicated with me."

"I'm a brand new bottle,."

"I'm a brand new bottle,"