When Kids TV Goes Horribly Wrong (2017) - full transcript

Growing up, we all remember coming
home from school,

tossing the homework to one side

and revelling in some great kids TV.

We had a choice.

We were either going to watch
Magpie or Blue Peter.

With its fun and games, it was the
best part of the day.

With amazing presenters...
Hello!

...who became more like your best
mates every time you tuned in.

There is a bit of a party feel
to the programme today.

You just don't know what's
going to happen.

The 1980s were the golden years
of children's television.



So, tonight, get ready to wallow
in nostalgia,

as you'll see all your favourite
shows and say hello again

to the legends,
who presented them.

My God - the dream job.

And if we all liked kids TV
when it went right...

...think how much more we'll love it
when it all goes pear-shaped.

Yeah! You know what you did!

Anything could go wrong.

Coming up, things go horribly wrong
for Ant and Dec,

live on SMTV...

Dec, are you all right?

Can we get a nurse?
Can we get a nurse?

...teen show GamesMaster
gets totes awks...

I think I've been set up
fairly badly here today.



Ooh! It's difficult to watch.

...and a star is airborne
on Blue Peter.

What a plonker.

I'm Andi Peters.
Yep, that's me.

And I'll be taking you on
a psychedelic trip down memory lane,

as kids TV goes horribly wrong.

First up, when a big budget
kids' movie is released,

its stars typically do the rounds

with publicity interviews
with everyone,

and that includes our most iconic
kids TV show Blue Peter.

Hollywood actor Kevin Hart was lined
up to talk about his new movie,

The Secret Life of Pets 2 to Blue
Peter presenter Lindsey Russell,

who was there with her sidekick,
rescue dog, Henry.

Hey, Kevin, how are you?
I'm Lindsey.

How are you doing? What's his name?
This is Henry.

Henry? Yes. Hi, Henry.

And he is our Blue Peter dog.

A Blue Peter dog.
What does that mean?

Seems like...

He's kind of staring you out.

...a laidback dog.

Let's talk Secret Life of Pets 2.
OK.

It's... See what I'm saying?
HENRY GROWLS

See what I'm saying? See what
I'm saying? Stop. Here we go.

We saw the film...
Here comes my nightmare.

Be professional.

We loved the film, didn't we?
Did we? Yes.

Did we? I promise you, we did.

Henry, what is your problem, man?
What's your problem?

Henry has turned into a pit bull.
OK.

He's one man that believes the hype.
He believes the hype.

Tiffany Haddish's character,
who is a Shih Tzu,

feels she's in trouble...
This is hilarious.

You're boring him. Yes.
I'm listening.

You know, maybe he's just
a tough critic.

Maybe Kevin's not really saying
what he's wanting him to say.

Are you OK? Are you all right?

He's out. He's just going to check
out and have a nap over here.

I think we should get back
to talking about Snowball.

I'm a thinker, I'm a... OK.

I'm a over thinker.

Unlike Henry.
Henry is definitely...

He's taken over...
Chewing the cards.

He had some questions,
but they're...

How many dogs do you have?
just one. just one.

Do you think we're going to get
another one? No, no.

If one's like this... I was going
to ask if you had another one.

How did Henry get the call?

He's a rescue dog, so we actually
didn't know a lot about Henry.

Aha!

Should I do the next bit?
Or do you want to do the next bit?

Oh, when it comes to animals,

there's a lot of things
that we just don't know.

I do recognise the iron grip
on his collar.

I'm never bringing you to one
of these again. Yeah.

If you could see the state
of the floor...

I mean, there's card everywhere.

Yeah. You've ruined it
for yourself, buddy.

Just chill out.

OK, let's talk about this.
HENRY WHINES AND GROWLS

OK, it's happening. Henry...

OK, the set's being ruined
behind you,

because Henry's...
He's off the lead.

This is a presenter's
worst moment ever.

Like, you just are sitting
there thinking,

"Ground, open up and swallow me."

Blue Peter isn't known for things
going horribly wrong,

but this went viral
for all the wrong reasons.

Although in Henry's defence,
some viewers thought

he didn't fully deserve
to be hounded.

You had your
chance, mister, you blew it.

Yeah! You know what you did.

Kevin, I've got to thank you.

You've more than earned the
Blue Peter badge today. Thank you.

Cos you put up with me and Henry.
No, no.

You tell Henry I don't want to see
him ever again.

HE WHINES

1980s kids' TV wouldn't have been
worth the Betamax videotapes

we recorded them on
without a mention

of the astonishing double act

that was Rod Hull and
his feathered friend Emu.

He likes you, doesn't he? Ow, no!

THEY LAUGH

The one thing you could always
guarantee was that

Emu would behave savagely badly.

No, don't!

In the mid '80s,

ITV bosses commissioned
a live kids' TV programme.

Emu's Pink Windmill show.

Fronted, of course, by Emu...

Ouch!

...with the help of his handler, Rod.

Leave her alone!

Grotbags, who arrived every
now and then to cause trouble...

Help, please! Help me!

...and lots of stage school
youngsters.

ALL:

The show also featured the
1980s' staple,

the live phone-in competition.

Why don't we try,

and keep your fingers crossed,

let's see if we can phone somebody
at home

and play a game of Emu Spin Quiz?
ALL:

He heads over to the phone,
you can tell he's nervous.

Right, you've got the number?
WHISPERS: Keep your fingers crossed!

He's got one of his windmill kids
doing the dialling for him.

And, Emu, what are you going to do?

Cross your legs?
Oh, all right, then.

Have you got it done?

Cos you've got to wait for the
number to go round

and then come back.

Just, just do it.

Oh, it's ringing.
Oh, thank goodness, it's ringing.

We're gonna give you one of
these lovely T-shirts,

which is just a sort of
a consolation prize. All right.

You get this sense
that he's dreading this.

HE HUMS, WHISTLES

It's thatmwhistling moment.
HE LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY

There obviously isn't anybody in.
No, I don't think so. Yes.

Answer the phone!

Aren't you supposed to call
before the show starts?

But clearly not in the '80s.

You've got to be cool, calm,
collected, because, as you know,

we are in fact broadcasting to you
live from the Pink Windmill.

Tell you what, why don't we quickly
phone up somebody else? All right?

And on a live show,
if something goes wrong,

even if it's only
a really tiny thing,

at that moment, it's the most
important thing in the world.

As quick as we can. Um,
we can ring up Carol Draper. Yes.

And she's from Devon. Yes.
She's 11 years old!

Yes. Um... 0...

DIAL TONE RESONATES
No, there's nothing.

LAUGHTER
Pardon?

We do have good fun
with this game, don't we?

HE IMITATES DIAL TONE

HE IMITATES DIAL TONE

You've got a blank bo-oo-ah.

This is just too embarrassing
to watch, it's mortifying.

With Rod high and dry
getting no answer,

the producers decided
they had no option

but to go straight
to an ad break.

I'll see you in part two!

After the break, and now over
half an hour into the show,

Rod and his assistant were still
trying to call someone,

anyone on the phone!

We're going to try and phone
that other one up again. In...

Where was it?
In Exeter or something?

Uh, Cardiff. Cardiff.

If she's not in now,
then I think I'll go home.

And you can just see the fear
in his face.

Ah...

Because we're... Um... Yes.

He's obviously having a mental
breakdown live on TV.

PHONE RINGS
Are they still out?

Oh, why do we bother?

Poor Rod, poor Emu.

See what we'll do,

we'll have another game
of this next week! Um...

Unluckily for all concerned,

social media has revived the
toe and beak curling moment

for modern audiences who seem
to find it just as cringe making

more than three decades later.

Kids telly doesn't really get
more awkward than that.

ALL:

Still to come, we're off
to the world of teen telly

where a contender throws
a strop on GamesMaster.

I think I've been set up
fairly badly here today.

SHE SQUEALS
It's difficult to watch.

And a familiar face hits
the deck on SMTV.

Dec, are you all right?

If you were a teenager in the '80s,

there was a reasonable chance you'd
be glued every Saturday morning

to BBC One.

There was a great tradition
of Saturday morning kids TV

and Superstore was one of the
defining ones.

It was presented by Mike Read and
Keith Chegwin, and it was long,

about three hours long
and it was anarchically chaotic,

but in a controlled way.

We've got in the store this morning,

loads and loads of twins.
Morning, twins! ALL: Morning!

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

But one week, the show decided
to invite an unusual guest.

The bassist from punk band,
The Damned,

a certain Captain Sensible.

I can see how that booking happens.

They said, "Shall we get this guy
0n?"

MUSIC CONTINUES

"ls he going to be a loose cannon?"
"No. He's going to be fine.

"He's called Captain Sensible."

Morning, Captain. Hello.
He's been asleep.

Punk bands, they don't just wake up

and watch kids TV
on a Saturday morning.

LAUGHTER

I've been, I've been cleaning
the toilets

down in the basement
and they don't half smell. Really?

Yeah, it's terrible.
Warehouse is terribly smelly.

You've been a janitor in your time,
haven't you? Yes, I did.

I did it for about,
uh, four or five months.

So with the Captain's previous
toilet experience in mind,

the show invited him to present the

1984 Schooljanitor
Of The Year award.

This lovely silver bucket.

And the winner will get
this gorgeous silver broom,

presented by the ex loo cleaner
himself, Captain Sensible.

All right?

That's his prize.
Can I award this to him?

Yes. He's in there somewhere.

Would you just like to just put
this...? Just pass it.

That's it. There we are. There
you go. He's got it. All right?

After presenting the coveted award,
the Captain decided it was time

to give us a rendition of his recent
solo hit Happy Talk, accompanied,

of course, by the winning janitor.

Happy Talk.

HE IMITATES TRUMPET, MUFFLED SINGING

Get them off, get them off,
get them off.

# You've got to have a dream

# If you don't have a dream... #

Oh, where's your old guitar, Mike?

Ah, terrific.

APPLAUSE, CHEERING

After you, sir!

It sort of happens almost in
slow motion

where he just like tumbles down.

You know he's going to go
and he absolutely smacks the floor.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

He's probably not even gone to bed
yet from his night out before.

The telly tumble has, of course,
been pored over by modern viewers

who've decided that
a horrible fall from grace...

...wasn't entirely out of character
for a member of The Damned.

I think he was probably
under the influence of something

other than the breakfast cornflakes.

Not very sensible on this occasion,
I'd say.

Still on Saturday morning TV,

fast forward to the year 2000,
when Geordie pair Ant and Dec

were getting a name for themselves
as a couple of very cheeky chappies.

Oh... Hello. Welcome to SMTV Live.

I'm hungry. I mean, I'm Ant.

And I'm delicious.

LAUGHTER

I mean... I mean... Dec.
Oh, hiya. Hiya.

They still have that
really fun element.

It's time for the SMTV postman!

In April of that year, the lads
were doing an item which involved

a bit of presenter participation
in a dance number.

# Oh, yeah... #

They were doing a dance routine
with Cat Deeley on the show, live,

and it was all going really well.

# ls there a letter
in your bag for me?

# Please, Mr Postman

# It's been such a long time... #

CHEERING DROWNS SINGING

There we are! Coming up later...

AUDIENCE MEMBERS SQUEAL

Dec fell to the floor and seemed
to collapse during the number.

What's he doing? ls he all right?

What's he doing?

He's on the floor...

What's he doing?
Dec, are you all right?

TV SCREEN BEEPS

Dec, are you all right? Dec?
Can someone get the nurse?

"Can we get a nurse?
Can we get a nurse?"

Someone get the nurse. Chloe!

You can see the panic in her eyes.

You know, it's live TV and there
he is just lying on the ground!

As the show cut to a cartoon break,

concerned viewers were left
thinking the worst.

Obviously, I was really concerned,
as was the nation.

People are ringing in and
they're saying, "ls he OK?"

ITV are on the phone asking,
"l$ he OK?"

GUITAR RIFFS
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But then they come back
and he's apparently fine

and you want to know what's wrong.

Something happened here
in the studio.

I just... I just keeled over
and collapsed.

I wasn't feeling too well,

but thanks for all
of your calls of concern,

there's no need to be alarmed.
Thanks for your concern.

And I'd just like to say,

happy April Fool's Day.

IN A GEORDIE ACCENT:

Funny...when he says it, but at
the time, we were all panicking,

thinking Dec's gone!

I can't actually believe
that they would do it on live TV.

The distressing prank had
totally misfired,

leading to awkward headlines and a
rap on the knuckles for Ant and Dec.

Their phone lines were jammed
with complaints from viewers

because they were genuinely
concerned, so they'd be ringing

asking if he was OK, couldn't
get through and then realised

it was a joke. So they kind of felt
a bit put out by this.

In fact, I believe they got in
trouble by the gods above

at TV Land. But, let's face it, it
hasn't done their careers any harm.

Naughty Ant and Dec.

LAUGHTER

Back in the 1990s, every tech
savvy teen in the land

had just one thing
on his or her mind...

That's all I did in the '90s, just
played video games all day long.

...and they religiously
tuned in every week

to see Channel 4's GamesMaster,
hosted by gaming guru

Dominik Diamond to see what was the
next big thing.

GamesMaster was an iconic TV show.

Everyone was crazy about it.
The teenagers loved it.

In 1996, the show did a Christmas
special featuring a play-off

between two of its in-house gamers.

This was a battle
that we kids tuned in

and really, really wanted to watch.

Kirk Ewing was lining up to take
on the self-appointed best gamer

in the world -
Dave "Games Animal" Perry.

He sort of looks the part, the part
of a weird, obsessive gamer.

The two joystick jousters would
contest the sharp turns

and terrifying slopes of Nintendo's
latest version of Super Mario.

The challenge then is whoever
can get to the bottom

of the Cool, Cool Mountain course
in the quickest time will walk away

with our special
Christmas quiz joystick.

They are going to go
for the golden joystick.

Off you go, Kirk.

OK, and off he goes, then, and we
are at the start of the slope here.

Kirk's on his way down and he seems
to be doing fairly well.

It's a very good start, Dominik,
wouldn't you agree?

Oh, yes, I definitely agree,
Dominik.

He's taking it nice and easy...
But he's off there.

He has lasted for 20 seconds...

Oh, Kirk, I'm not an expert,
but that was rubbish.

Now it's Dave's turn.

Your time begins now.

And off Dave goes.

Again, now, it's a touch...some
might say cowardly,

some might say clever.

He starts sliding Mario
down the slippery slope.

He is certainly staying
on his bottom...

He then starts jumping
for some reason.

...and trying to last long
as he can...

...but I don't think it's worked!
He tried to play conservative.

SOMBRE PIANO MUSIC

There's a flash of anger slash
disappointment on his face.

But I don't think it's worked,
he tried to play it conservative.

A good tactic, but he lasted
for 13.35 seconds.

Come on, Dave.

13 seconds?!
SHE TUTS

What happened? What went wrong?

Well, I think I've been set up
fairly badly here today.

Dave, rather than just taking it on
the chin, he starts kicking off.

I think having a final game
where one player owns the game

and the machine and one player
doesn't isn't in the interest

of fair play.

All these excuses start to come out.

SHE SQUEALS
It's difficult to watch.

OK, so, what you're saying, Dave,
is the biggest game of this year,

you haven't played much?
It's not released till next year.

I'll play it next year when
it's released in this country.

OK. You are a journalist,
we can get it on import.

Not a journalist, I'm a marketing
manager. Right...

So, we're not seeing sour grapes
at all here, Dave,

is what you're trying to say?

No, we're not. We're seeing somebody
just saying he's been set up.

He looks like a child throwing
his toys out of the pram.

It's just pitiful.

The new Games Animal -
Mr Kirk Ewing!

APPLAUSE

The precious Gold Joystick Award
is spirited by the maidens

into the hands of Dave's
arch-nemesis Kirk...

...leaving the man himself to ponder
where it all went wrong.

It's not like it's all over the
internet for people

to watch your meltdown nowadays,
is it? N0...

Presumably, Dave thought
that once the red mist lifted,

everyone would forget.

But when the internet generation
got to see it,

everyone had something to say.

Yeah, if Dave is watching this now,
he's got to be dying.

I mean, the bandana alone?
Sorry, Dave.

Dave!

Wonder what you're doing now.
He's probably a bank manager.

# Mummy, Mummy, I love you, Mummy

# This is your special day... #

Over in Cambodia,
one of the most popular

family entertainment shows
is Like It Or Not.

For their 2015 Mother's Day special,

the producers decided to invite the
then 13-year-old singing sensation

Autumn Allen onto the show.

# Mummy, Mummy, I love you, Mummy. #

I went on a show in 2015 called
Penh Chet Ort or Like It Or Not.

There was a Cambodian TV show.

It was like the equivalent of
Surprise, Surprise.

Since I was born, I've always been
living with my dad

and I've saw my mum twice.

Her dad took off to Cambodia
when she was six.

They said that my mum was
going to come out too.

So she's all excited.

Bet you can't wait to meet your mum!

Surprise, surprise! Like,
we're bringing out your mum today.

I was hoping that she
would come out.

LAUGHTER

The Cambodians' answer to
Dame Edna walks out.

Oh, hello, Mum! Blimmin' hell.

It is one of the most messed up
things I think...

...someone could do on TV.

LAUGHTER

It was kind of like, "Guess what,
little orphan?

"You're not an orphan any more!"

"Oh, wait. Yes, you are.
That's a man."

I didn't know how to react.

I tried to hold in my tears,
but it didn't really work.

Yes, I'm fine.

Yeah. Why are you a tulip?

And the little girl is sat there
like, "This is great!"

And you can see that she's really
crying on the inside.

I was scared that if I cried,
that I would be embarrassed.

It's Mothers' Day today.

LAUGHTER
THEY SPEAK IN KHMER

"Oh, ha-ha-ha!"
"Yeah." Brilliant.

Why play a joke on a child
like that?

THEY SPEAK KHMER

I don't think it's fair
to play with kids' emotions

for the sake of entertainment.
I don't think that worked for me.

It was an excruciating
ten minutes of live TV

that poor Autumn will never forget.

Social media went into meltdown
about it, you can imagine.

Everyone was kind of shocked.
Well, if I'd have been there,

I'd have been tweeting
about how awful that was.

After TV bosses met Autumn
to apologise,

she published her response
on Facebook.

I think they meant for it
to be a joke.

They tried to make it funny,
but it went wrong.

It was mindless
and ridiculously cruel.

Still to come, more classic
kids telly as Katy Perry

takes things too far
on Sesame Street...

# ..someone stop the monster... #

Some parents found
this a little bit raunchy.

"Get it off of our screens!"

...Transvision Vamp's Wendy James
gets young boys' pulses racing...

Do all your knickers
match your frocks?

Well, no, I don't usually wear them.

...and the Teletubbies episode...

I am the scary lion!

...that gave youngsters nightmares.

Why is this happening
on Teletubbies?

LION ROARS

# Sunny days sweeping
the clouds away... #

With its catchy theme tune
and colourful characters,

the American children's television
series Sesame Street has,

since 1969, both entertained
and educated generations of kids.

# ..get to Sesame Street... #

Sesame Street is iconic.

Educational, fun, full of quite
weird characters.

Kermit.

Big Bird, of course.
Oscar the Grouch, Cookie Monster.

All icons in their own right.

Its much-loved cast of puppets
have, over the years, also rubbed

shoulders with some A-list celebrity
guests, including the likes

of Michael Buble
and even Michelle Obama.

If you're invited onto it
as a guest,

it's a real badge of honour.

In 2010, singer Katy Perry
got the call to come and

do a special music number
on the show.

Cute, kitschy? Katy Perry...

...was a massive pop star...

The song was one of Katy's own,
Hot N Cold.

They kind of re-versioned it with
some new lyrics for Sesame Street.

Really cute idea.

# You're hot then you're cold... #

And she would be performing a duet
with puppet character - Baby Elmo.

# I'm starting to doubt... #

Katy Perry came in and
she was looking, like, banging.

Tiny little dress...

...little pointy bits above the boob.

This is a small dress, but it's a
big song and they do it really well.

It's lovely.

Elmo was running around
her exposed legs...

His short height with her short
dress gave him what I think is known

as a front-row seat.

# Someone stop that monster... #

A publicity preview of the
song went online -

the producers were hoping for
a big reaction,

but not quite the one they got...

...when some parents, appalled
at how Katy was dressed,

took to social media
to vent their anger.

Some parents found this
a little bit raunchy.

They complained in their droves,
although it hadn't been on air.

I think they were reading
too much into it.

But the programme bowed to
parent power and dropped the song,

although the papers made sure Katy
and Elmo's cancelled playdate

was given maximum column inches.

But if you go to Katy Perry's page
on YouTube, you'll find it.

Yes, despite being banned from TV,
the performance has been available

for years for all to see online.

And it's been viewed almost
100 million times.

Let's just hope none of them
are children.

"I'll be 15 minutes, one second."

The general public seemed divided
between those who supported the mums

and dads to others who thought
it was all a storm in a D-cup.

Probably still causing
outrage to this day.

CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK

In the early '90s, the BBC's
flagship kids programme was the

Saturday morning show
"Going Live!"...

...presented by the awesome
Philip and Sarah.

"Going Live!" was full of noise.

There was so much going
on in the studio.

I used to watch it all the time.
I loved it.

It's wholesome, you know? All
the young kids are watching it.

Being the BBC, the content was
usually good, clean fun,

but on Saturday 13th April 1991,
that was about to change

with a live performance by the group
Transvision Vamp, whose raunchy

singer Wendy James was guaranteed to
set young boys' pulses racing.

Transvision Vamp, very pretty lady.

She had a sexy kind of costume on.

The thing about kids TV is the
cameras are always much lower

because that's where the kids are,

which makes it really
tricky for the adults.

All the way through that
performance, there's loads of,

like, crotch shots...
HE LAUGHS

...which is so inappropriate
for that time in the morning.

Bit wrong, isn't it? It is!
On a kids show. On children's TV!

I was... I was just mesmerised.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

They've done their live PA
on the show and then they...

...invited Wendy James to come have
a little chat with Sarah,

take some calls and stuff like that.

Come and stand here. Let's have
a quick twirl now.

Absolutely gorgeous!

Wendy had made a decision
to wear a shorter dress,

which is fine - feminism, hashtag
feminism all the way...

It's handy that your knickers
match, isn't it?

I think they're actually sewn
into it, fortunately.

Oh, are they? Do all your knickers
match your frocks?

Well, no, I don't usually wear them.

Oh, what, not knickers? No.

Everyone wears knickers!

And so, these young children
are sat hearing a conversation

that should really happen on
Loose Women, if you ask me.

And they've also got her cooch
at eye-level.

It wasn't that it went over my head,

if that's the right expression!

But it didn't seem strange at all
that we'd be discussing

her underwear on Saturday mornings.

It seemed really straightforward

and that was what was so great
about that show.

Probably we got away with murder
because of that.

I don't usually wear them.
Oh, what? Not knickers? No.

I'll tell you what - my mum and dad
didn't see much of me

that afternoon, let me tell you.

So, you're not scared about
catching cold or anything?

Oh, no. If you wear a warm pair
of woolly tights...

Oh, I see, woolly tights.

It was actually on Points Of View.
Everyone kind of, like, got involved

and there was a lot of
backlash for it.

And then she went on another
chat show the following week

and she was talking about it.

So it was quite a big kind of furore
and quite a big thing at the time.

She probably just did it for the
headlines. Makes her famous... Yeah.

...sells more records. So, what
do you fancy? Shall we, er,

...get ours off? Do you mind
if we just quickly go

and take our knickers off?

The show that changed kids
TV forever was lTV's Tiswas,

which was on our screens between
1974 and 1982,

presided over by Chris Tarrant and
Sally James, it was the prototype

anarchic TV show with
its random flinging of flans

and hurling of water,

it was a mixture of mayhem,
madness and near hysteria.

One classic episode featured a
strong man, Tony Brutus.

Now, back then, musclemen
and strength acts were a real draw.

That episode had two more unlikely
guests heavyweight wrestler,

Big Daddy, and controversial
Manchester-born comedian

Bernard Manning, who made his name
on the workingman's club scene

before breaking into TV.

Quite what he'd lifted before
to acquire that title, I'm not sure.

And he thinks he can lift
up both Bernard Manning

and the wrestler, Big Daddy.

Sit down, sit down.
Yeah.

LAUGHTER

The first problem he encounters
is that when the guys sit down,

their weights are slightly
different.

And we get a little shot of
Bernard's Y-fronts.

LAUGHTER

All right. Ready...

Sit, sit, sit.

Sit. Sit down.

His leg buckles,
he gets trapped underneath

Big Daddy and Bernard Manning
and the weight and himself.

The TV producers are
very upset by this,

but Tony still gives
the kids a wave.

However, he doesn't work
for another six months.

So maybe it wasn't worth it,
in the long run.

But even that disaster didn't
deter Manning

from returning to
the Tiswas studios.

Oh...

Where do you want my hands?

ROBOTIC VOICE:
One at a time, please.

LAUGHTER

ROBOTIC VOICE SPEAKS

And he got on the machine and
it was supposed to say,

"Oh, weight too heavy, weight
too heavy, weight too heavy."

ROBOTIC VOICE:
35, overload, overload.

LAUGHTER, SHOUTS

# Teletubbies

# Teletubbies

# Say hello... #

As four colourful creatures join us
from their grass landscaped world,

it's another episode of the
CBBC kids' show Teletubbies,

so popular it's been aired
across the world since the '90s

in no less than 45
different languages,

not including the weird one
that the stars speak in.

TELETUBBIES GIGGLE AND BABBLE

They're not teddy bears,
but they're not like aliens...

They're some kind of hybrid.

With weird things on their heads.

They've got screens
in their bellies.

They run around and
they speak gibberish.

But after winning multiple awards,
this bright and bonkers creation,

starring Tinky Winky, Dipsy,
Laa-Laa and Po,

must be doing something right.

There was lots of new ways
in that show that were created

to engage with very, very,
very young viewers.

Every programme would
usually feature a moment

when something magical happened.

But in one episode from 1997,

they decided to go for
something a bit fiercer.

I'm the Bear. I'm the Bear.

A bear came in, and it looked like
it was on, like, a skateboard.

It was, like, gliding around.

I'm the Bear, I'm the Bear,

with brown, fuzzy hair.

I'll hide over here...

BEAR LAUGHS

...and I'll hide over there.

And this bear is sort of appearing
here and disappearing behind bushes

and then appearing on a hill
far away...

Can you see me?

...which I guess is...is playful,
but a little bit odd.

TELETUBBIES: Shhh!

Oooh!

But as the blue skies clouded over,

the mood changed from playful
to petrifying.

OMINOUS MUSIC

The music changes,

it's got this, like, howling wind.

ECHOING GROWLS

The clouds start to move
really fast and the...

...the trees start to shake.

It's like someone's opened a portal
to some kind of hell dimension

within Teletubbyland.

GROWLING LAUGHTER

LION ROARS

And then a lion came in.

I'm the Scary Lion.

As a matter of fact,

I'm scary around the front...

...and I'm scary round the back!

And what's with the northern accent?

Come on, northerners aren't scary.

Eventually, the scary lion
decides it's time to reveal

his actual agenda.

I am the Scary Lion...

...and I'm looking for the Bear.

I'm looking over here,

and I'm looking over there.

LION LAUGHS

BEAR BABBLES

LION LAUGHS

It's a proper
behind the cushion moment.

Why is this happening
on Teletubbies?

Preschool viewers were left
to their own imaginations

as to what may have happened next.

Perhaps the lion caught the bear
and then,

I don't know, tore it to shreds.

Or did it?

Four-year-olds went to sleep
that night wondering,

"Did the bear survive?
What does it mean for me?

"Will I get ripped apart by a lion?

A backlash ensued
from angry parents,

who took to sites like Mumsnet
to complain

that their traumatised tots
were wetting themselves

even more than usual.

I can understand why
certain children found

it to be quite nightmarish.

It's no surprise that
a lot of parents complained.

The story found its way
into the papers

and led to some countries not
including the sequence at all.

A certain generation
of American and Chinese children

have never seen
The Lion And The Bear.

This episode was banned in America,
and that's saying something,

cos that's a country
where a kid can buy a gun.

TELETUBBIES LAUGH

And in the UK, producers were under
pressure to re-edit the episode,

so it'd be far less scary
whenever it was repeated.

Thanks for giving them all
nightmares, Teletubbies.

Thanks a lot!

LION SNARLS

Sticky back plastic at the ready...

Now, something completely different.

...as we've got more
less-than-perfect Blue Peter moments

than you can shake a stick at!

Drops the star.

# If you're happy
and you know it... #

...including the time
things got real.

If you're happy, you know it, and don't
want to get burned, clap your hands!

MUSIC: Blue Peter theme tune

Blue Peter has been an integral part
of children's television since 1958

and is the longest running
children's TV show in the world,

often achieving viewing
figures in the millions.

Hello, and it's many happy
returns of the day to Petra.

I mean, Blue Peter is iconic,
and it always will be to kids' TV,

because it was basically like
a kids' TV magazine show.

Now, something completely different.

It was very, very wide scope,
really.

It was a quite
extraordinary programme.

In its heyday,

it featured in a prime teatime
BBC one slot two clays a week,

with kids rushing home from school
to see their favourite presenters

taking on their latest challenges...

Watch this.

Oh!

...as well as regular guest slots
and arts and crafts projects.

We all watched Blue Peter.

We'd all grown-up with Blue Peter.
We had a choice.

We were either going to watch Magpie
or Blue Peter, and that was it.

It was something that
everyone had to watch.

It was a talking point, you know,

they always used to go out on these
big kind of like daredevil stunts.

It was brilliant. It was a big show.

PRESENTERS: Oh! Oh!

And they've got some of the most

iconic TV presenters
have come from there.

I mean, it's legendary.

And it doesn't get more legendary
than these three.

Peter Purves, Valerie Singleton
and John Noakes,

who in 1970 decided to do a
live segment on Girl Guides,

complete with a singalong
around an imitation fire.

What could possibly go
horribly wrong?

Well, this is the first time I've sat around
a campfire with about 100 Girl Guides.

I rather like it.

Almost the most catastrophic things
that happened

was when we had some Girl Guides
and Brownies in the studio.

And obviously, it was nice if
we could have children in

as much as possible, because
they were our viewers.

Can you sing any more songs?
ALL: Yes!

GUITAR STRUMMING

And it's a little sort of pretend fire,
obviously, it's got bulbs and papen

The props guys, I think,
had set up something,

must have been batteries
or something.

# If you're happy and you know it
Clap your hands. #

And it was one of those kind of
cute Blue Peter moments.

# If you're happy and you know it
Stamp your feet. #

And I'm thinking, "Gosh,
that's quite realistic smoke."

# If you're happy and you know it
Slap your thighs. #

Some paper must go on one of the
bulbs and it starts to smoke.

# If you're happy and you know it
Slap your thighs

# If you're happy and you know it
Say "we are"

# We are. #

As we're singing, the
flames are getting higher.

# If you're happy and you know it
Say "we are"

# We are. #

And there was no way it was
real flames to start with.

Something had obviously caught fire.

# If you're happy and you know it

# Then you surely ought to show it

# If you're happy and you know it
Say "we are"

# We are. #

# If you're happy and you know it
Do all five

# We are. #

The kids at that stage will were
looking quite scared.

# If you're happy and you know it
then you surely ought to show it. #

# If you're happy and you know it
Do all five. #

"If you're happy, you know it, and don't
want to get burned, clap your hands! Ah!"

# We are! #

I don't know what those uniforms
were like, but maybe they were...

...you know, they could have been
quite flammable.

So if somebody had caught fire, it could
have been a really, really nasty incident.

We're on fire! We're on fire,
so... Let's get the firemen in!

FIRE EXTINGUISHER HISSES LOUDLY

If you noticed I'm there, sort
of like, "Oh, what's going on?"

with my arms across my chest.

Oh, I think we've won in the end!
Never mind...

That
was terrific, thank you very much.

Yes, thank you very
much.

Desperately trying to brave it out,
as we did when things went wrong.

Those singers have actually
made a marvellous song

called Sing Along With The Guides,
and I can promise you,

the record won't go up in flames.
It won't, no!

You had to carry on. I mean,
we couldn't dash out of the studio

and go, "Fire! Fire!
Quick, get out!"

We had to sort of pretend
it was all OK

and everything was under control.

LOUD HISSING

John Noakes is doing that sort of
typical, "Oh, what fun that was!

"Oh, it nearly all went wrong,
we nearly burnt the brownies!"

As if this was just another
day in the office.

If we haven't burned down,
we hope to be back next Thursday.

We'll be having the latest news
from Dad's Army!

"Have a good one, kids, bye-bye."

And it was that, the fact that it
could be hari-kari going on behind you,

but we're not going
to react to it at all.

Bye- bye.

MUSIC: Blue Peter theme tune

It all ended happily.

In August of that year,
things started to hot up for Val

when she was sent with the boys
to the deserts of Morocco.

Everyone had warned us about
the heat in southern Morocco

during the month of August.

On this day, we knew that
it was at least 120 degrees,

because that was as high
as our thermometer went,

and the mercury was
right to the top.

Then, of course,
in came the summer films,

when we would go off for three weeks
to some wonderful country.

Sometimes things don't entirely
go the way they're planned,

especially on foreign trips.

John Noakes, Pete Purves
and Valerie Singleton

go to the desert
and they see some camels.

When you see a camel,
what do you want to do?

I want to get on the camel!

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

So they go over and they
talk to the camel owner.

Does he talk English? Nope.

Have they got a translator? Nope.

Can we go? Yes?

Yeah, Val, we can.

CAMEL GROANS

And unfortunately,
they are not in sync.

And it turns out to be really
pretty dangerous for Valerie.

SHOUTING

I don't know, this seems to be
my year for falling off things.

I suppose, if I fall off a horse,
I might as well fall off a camel.

Trouble is, it's a bit higher.

I loved it when things went wrong,

cos you could then come off script.

You know, you would then...you had
to sort of rely on your own

kind of capabilities
to get out of it.

I'm going to leave you two to have a
go on your own. I'll see you later.

It's chaos. It's chaos.

But it's beautiful.

And I think they think
they're beautiful.

I mean, that's part of
being a good presenter,

that you can get
through things like that.

The job of a Blue Peter presenter
is a much-envied one.

They're given the opportunity to do
things that mere mortals can only dream of.

One such occasion was
Christmas 2011,

when regular presenter Andy,
now known as Ayo, was tasked with

putting the star on top of
the tree in Trafalgar Square.

Christmas is nearing.

I think we were about two weeks
away from Christmas.

Every year, of course, the Christmas
tree would arrive from Norway.

Not just that, it's like, you know,

there's a big star that goes on top.
So beautiful.

This is the most famous Christmas
tree in the whole of the UK.

To be asked to put the Christmas
star on the Christmas tree

that comes in once a year
from Norway is a big deal.

Well, this one has been lighting
trees on Trafalgar Square

for the past ten years.

I think it's time to put it
in its rightful place.

Already you're thinking to yourself,
"This is a special star.

"Be careful with that star, man."

He's got the star, goes to
put it on the top of the tree...

One thing we forgot.
We didn't ask them

how to attach the star
onto the tree.

I made it 25 metres up, with
a little help from the crane.

Putting the star on top
would be the easy part...

Here goes.

...or at least, it should have been!

I couldn't even twist it,

and it just fell.

7O feet.

CRASH

Oh, my God.

ECHOING: N0!

Oh, my goodness.

I've actually just dropped the star.

He drops the star.

He drops the star,

He drops it!

CRASH

I mean, I'm reliving it now.
This is trauma.

Oh, my God.

Imagine the mortification!

Oh, no! Did that just happen?

I suppose they're going to kill me.

There's nothing you can do
because he's on a cherry picker

and it's now crashing
towards the floor.

I mean, one didn't hear a
terrible yelp from down below,

so presumably it was OK.

But his face is just wonderful
as he turns to the camera, goes,

"l've dropped the star."

Oh, my goodness.

I've actually just dropped the star.

Oh, no.

What no-one saw
was the amount of swearing

that happened after
I dropped that star.

"L've just dropped that f...ing
$tar!"

just like, "Oh, no!"
just like... "Fuck!"

Oh, man, I'm so happy that
isn't smashed even more.

What else would they do but put it
together with sticky back plastic?

Are you going to trust me to put it
back up there?

There we go.

Repair the star, get it on,
no-one will notice!

"If you fuck this up again, we just
don't have the patience to do it."

I was like, "All right, I'm really sorry.
I'll take it seriously this time. Sorry."

Second time lucky,
and with trembling hands,

I managed to do what
I had come here to do.

Oh, my goodne... I mean, that
will be in the blooper reel

forever. Forever.

Who would like to see a Blue Peter
presenter drop a star at a Christmas tree?

"Me, me, me, me!"

Bang! Oh...

CRASH

It's like a...an heirloom, innit?

But he dropped it.

And that is what I'll be known for,
for the rest of my life.

Dropping this bloody star!

Should have taken it a bit
more seriously, shouldn't I?

Outside the BBC Studios
and Television Centre,

the programme had its own
educational garden,

lovingly nurtured by the
horticulturalist Percy Thrower.

The Blue Peter Garden
was an institution.

There are three or four
important gardens in the UK, um...

...Buckingham Palace Gardens,

Kew Gardens.

But I would say that the most
important garden in the UK

is the Blue Peter Garden.

In 1983, the garden was the setting

for one of the most significant
moments in the programme's history.

We've got some rather bad news,
I'm afraid.

Imagine my surprise when
I turn on the TV one day,

and they're all looking...stony
faced.

And I thought, "Oh, the dog's died."

Wasn't the dog.

It was the Blue Peter Garden.

Vandals broke into
the Blue Peter Garden

and caused rather a lot of damage.

My parents, etc,
they remember this moment of

the Blue Peter Garden
being vandalised.

And one really cruel thing they did

was to pour fuel oil
into the fish pond.

Well, we've drained the pond and
we've rescued some of the fish,

but a few of them have died,

and the oil itself has
caused a lot of damage.

It was absolutely shocking.

Well, it's not a pretty sight,
is it, what they did, Percy?

It's very sad to think that
a few people take such pleasure

from harming their
fellow human beings

and from hurting animals, as well.

I think that was awful, and I think a
lot of people got very upset by that.

A lot of viewers got very upset
by that,

as indeed did the presenters
who were involved at the time.

Horrible, awful thing to do.

And here are the survivors.

It really is an absolute miracle
that they have survived.

Brian has come along to
give us a bit of advice.

Brian, what do you think of them after
the awful ordeal that they've been through?

I think they're looking
amazingly well.

17 years on, it seems there might
be a breakthrough in the affair.

And then it turns out that
Les Ferdinand stuck his hand up

and said, "l helped someone
over the wall."

And the thing is,
I found myself laughing.

As a child,
I found myself laughing.

Ferdinand later claimed
his comments were just a joke,

so the identity of the vandals
remains a mystery.

I'm not saying it's not,
you know, a serious event,

but they certainly hyped up
the drama.

Still to come:
It's time for kids on TV...

He really likes that TV monitor.

...things get out of hand with one
mischievous toddler on BBC News...

And Bill and Louise are thinking,
"Let it end!"

...and it's all going down...

...on a kid's TV talent
show in New Zealand.

Faints out of shot.

Occasionally, even news shows
for grown-ups

will include segments or items
that involve kids.

And you're live in seven.

This is Breakfast with Bill
Turnbull and Louise Minchin.

That was certainly true for
BBC Breakfast,

when four-year-old Harry Maceachen
came into the studio

for a feature with his mum Clare.

Presenters Bill and Louise
wanted to talk to Clare

about the success of Harry's
liver transplant,

and to highlight the importance
of organ donation.

Harry was born with the liver
disease biliary atresia,

which is very rare. It affects
about one in 12,000 babies,

and it's basically that they're born
with blocked bile ducts. Mm-hm.

Sweetheart... He's looking at
himself inside the telly.

Very sadly, this...this liver
needs...needs to be replaced.

HARRY LAUGHS

And... He's just spotted himself
on the telly. Yeah.

If he hadn't received his liver
transplant,

he probably wouldn't be here,

laughing away, enjoying himself!

He does what you should do,
you know,

pull faces at himself,
laugh at himself!

How does it work? Has it been
well accepted, do you know?

I think so, from what I understand.
I don't know...

I don't remember the science...
Do you want to go over there, Harry?

Go and say hello.
Oh, Tracy's going to look after you.

There you go, Harry.
Go and sit next to Tracy.

Tracy's going to catch him.
Sorry! She's going to catch him...

Um, just tell us a little bit
about... Oh.

Tracy's obviously someone
on the floor, thinks,

"Hang on, I don't want to look after
a four-year-old who's going wild!"

I wanted you talking about
what it is like, waiting.

Classic Tracy, never around when you
need her. Tracy, where are you?!

And I'm just going to wait
till he's safely with Tracy.

I've got a funny feeling that was
Tracy's last day.

We'll talk to you about that
on other occasion.

Thank you very much indeed.
Let's leave that there.

They just went, "Do you know what?
We'lljust drop the story and go to

"something else we can control."

We're going to talk about broadband.

Access to high-speed Internet
service is increasingly important

for both our work and social lives.

And Bill and Louise are thinking,
"Let it end!"

Let's have this report, shall we?

The next item was child-free -
er, hopefully.

No, it hasn't! I can still hear him,
he's still in the studio.

Whilst Harry's headline-hitting
antics meant that things had gone

horribly wrong for
the presenters and producers,

the public, on the other hand,
took a more positive view

of the studio mayhem.

This interview is just hijacked
by a small boy.

The kid proves he's definitely
fully recovered.

HARRY GIGGLES

Down in New Zealand, they like to
start their performing talent young.

So, what better way to give the kids
a taste of the Kiwi big-time

than a talent segment
on the breakfast news show?

Here, TV3's Sunrise programme has
lined up two young wannabes,

Sam and Hannah, in their
Five Minutes of Fame slot.

Five Minutes of Fame
to warm the nation's heart.

You know, grandmother's probably
recording it at home.

We do have Hannah and Sam
right here.

They're about to sing a song for us.

It is a bit of a midwinter
Christmas theme.

They're going to be singing
"O Holy Night".

Take it away.

Any moment now.
HE CHUCKLES

MUSIC: O Holy Night

He starts to look a little bit
peaky, but you're thinking,

"Maybe it's part of the act,"
you know?

"Maybe it's a little smoulder."

And then, suddenly,
he hits the deck.

And he gets up, and then -
is he going to be all right?

No, he's not. Down he goes again.

Faints out of shot...

HE GASPS
"Finally, my big moment!

"L've been trying to go
solo for years."

Sorry, we're going to have
to stop it there.

We will be back in half an hour.

I think he's actually had a little
bit, er, of an accident there.

That's OK. Look after him, josh,
and we'll see you in half an hour.

Yup.

"Tune in, 9.00, I'll be on
the telly, Five Minutes of Fame."

That kid's five minutes of fame
didn't really last five minutes.

It didn't really last five seconds -
I think it took about

three-and-a-half for him
to fall to the ground.

Yes, Sam at least did find fame.

After his big hit went viral,
he got an impressive 100,000 views.

You've become famous because
you've absolutely decked it

on national television. Poor guy!

What a disaster for that poor boy.

And Hannah.
SHE CHUCKLES

But there was some good news.

After a sugary tea,
Sam was able to sing -

sort of.

It's got a kind of happy ending
in that Sam and Hannah

did get a second chance at this.

Well, look at that,
got back on the horse, Sam.

Well done, that's fantastic.

THEY CLAP

All's well that ended well.

But it did have a very ropey middle.

HE LAUGHS

As a reporter on American local
news, you know you've pulled the

short straw if you get sent off to
the county fair to find the story.

You always feel bad for the
presenter that's been sent out to

the county fair to go and get
some of the atmosphere.

Because really,
what are you going to get?

You'lljust get some kid
eating candyfloss.

When Sofia Ojeda chose to interview
five-year-old Noah Ritter

for a family news bulletin,

she can't have expected much.

Young Noah is at the
Wilkes-Barre County Fair.

What did you think about the ride?

But then, he sort of grabs the mic
and holds the mic himself.

She surrendered the microphone.

They say, "Never surrender
your microphone".

She hands it over to Noah,
and Noah's doing pieces to camera.

You know, he's off down there.

You're like, "Whoa, he's trying to
impersonate a news presenter here."

Not just that - he's saying it with
some serious murderous authority.

Noah's five years old,
and loves the word "apparently".

Apparently he uses the word
"apparently" many times

during a two-minute interview.

"L can't handle this situation.

"So, l'lljust use the word
'apparently' completely out of

"context and about 18 times in
the space of two seconds."

Tell me about the ride.
What did you think about the ride?

Why?

He kind of rolls around the Rs
of the apparently.

IMITATING NOAH: Apparently.

Apparently.

Apparently, I should use that word
if I ever get to be live

on a news channel.

Yeah?

Which he currently is - apparently.

That's the thing, you've got
to reckon the situation.

You've got to make sure you know
your contributors, don't just go all

wild out, cos that kid got way more
screentime than he deserved.

Because honestly,
that kid scares the hell out of me.

What weirds me out about this kid
is the way he's standing

like a 56-year-old body-builder.

His stance is like this.

I have a feeling Noah went back
for more later on.

I really do.

She wants to look out for her job,
that presenter.

Turns out the kid didn't even want
to be a news presenter in the end.

Just wanted to be a palaeontologist.

Apparently.

Another example of a new show
swerving the serious stuff for

something with more appeal for the
kids was Australian Channel Nine's

morning programme The Today Show,
hosted by Karl Stefanovic.

You're in Australia.

Where do you head to
for an outside broadcast?

Down the beach...
to the surfing competition.

Today's live link is with Sabre
Norris, the 11-year-old daughter

of Olympic medal-winning swimmer
Justin Norris,

Sabre's about to become one of
the youngest-ever competitors

in a national surf league under
the mentorship of legendary pro

Sally Fitzgibbons.

I can't believe, out all the girls
in the world, she's chosen me.

I feel really excited,
but I'm also a little bit nervous.

It feels like - sometimes I feel
like I'm going to vomit,

when I get nervous.

Too much information.

Even if I get last -

they're going to do a $250
prize money for last.

And I really would want to
spend it on doughnuts.

PRESENTER LAUGHS

SLOWLY:

It's classic kids.

But maybe she could've been
prepped a little bit?

Yeah, my dad was an athlete.

But now, he's, erm, pretty fat.

PRESENTERS LAUGH

He used to eat, like, two litres
of ice cream every single night.

LAUGHTER CONTINUES
Like the salted caramel ones.

Not really the surf tips we were
hoping for over breakfast.

And then, he used to get
really angry at Mum,

because Mum didn't always
buy it for him.

But, when Dad got really angry,

Mum started buying it for him
all the time.

She's giving away way too much.

I mean, they could have a lawsuit
on their hands,

if she says something libellous.

And then, he had to suck his gut in
for photos, and it was really funny.

And they want to stop it but,
at the same time,

they just can't help but laugh.

He's actually lost 20kg
since Christmas. Oh.

Because he's seen me eating
so healthy, because I've been

inspired by Sally.

So, now he's just eating cucumbers.

It's cucumber-flavoured ice cream,
actually. But hey, same thing.

And he was, like,
105 since Christmas.

And now, he's like 81. Wow! Whoa!

Good news! My dad's lost weight,
and he's not angry at Mum anymore.

As proud dad moments go,
that's probably low on the list

for her dad.

The interview had gone
horribly wrong for her parents.

And worse was still to come.

After being picked up
by the press...

...it went viral, causing
a wave of comments to add

to the Norris' embarrassment.

I think maybe she just had an
argument with her parents

and thought, "Oh, I'll show you.
I'll get my own back."

Still to come - we look at
the public information films that

scarred us for life.

It's like the stuff of nightmares.

And Porky Pig turns the air blue.

Son of a bi-bi-bi-bi-bi...

And you just don't expect
Porky Pig to say, sort of,

rude words on television.

Here's something from
the vaults of Warner Brothers

that you won't have seen.

In 1939, one of the studio's
emerging global superstars

was Porky Pig, who features in
this lovable piece

along with his trademark stutter.

Porky Pig is a classic
TV cartoon character

which is a cute fat pig, basically.

Son of a bi-bi-bi-bi-bi...

Oh, son of a bi-bi-bi-bi-bi...

Son of a bi-bi-bi-bi...

...gun.
HE LAUGHS

You thought I was going to say
"son of a bitch," didn't ya?

"Ah, you son of a bitch!"

You thought I was going to say
"son of a bitch," didn't ya?

It's all right, folks.

This wasn't actually
broadcast at the time.

It was purely for the amusement
of Warner Brothers staff

at their end-of-year celebrations.

Son of a bi-bi-bi-bi...gun.

HE LAUGHS

You thought I was going to say
"son of a bitch," didn't ya?

That was just very,
very out of character.

Sweden - the country that gave us
ABBA, flat-pack furniture,

meatballs, and cars with
headlights that won't turn off.

And then, of course,
there's the television shows.

# Bon, Bon...

state broadcaster SVT produces Bon,
a programme for kids,

which featured this
strange episode in 2016.

This is a Swedish programme which
features a puppet called Bon.

This bizarre Swedish chef
who's nowhere near as cuddly

as the one on The Muppet Show.

SPEAKING IN SWEDISH

And he's...

"Whodin boodin goodin haggis.
Scotland."

So, OK, he's making some haggis.

Swedish guy dressed as a puppet,
making a Scottish dish.

So, first of all,
where do you even go from there?

It is just all kinds of wrong.
All kinds of wrong.

Simple as, hands up.

So, he's getting all this shit
and putting it in the condom.

There's something very
Sweeney Todd about him.

There's just this...revolting meat.

And then, he actually gets a sausage
and puts in there, at one point.

Just a full-on sausage
with a condom on it.

It's like, you know when you're at
school and you get the banana,

and you get the condom, and you have
to put it over, and stuff like that?

You think, "He won't eat that,
he's going to do something

"really bizarre with that."

There's a conversation you want
to have with your children.

Never put a sausage in a condom.

SVT's Facebook site was flooded
with complaints from parents

outraged by the use of a condom
in a kids TV show.

Yeah, I mean, parents complained.

I don't know why they would complain
about a creepy, creepy man

putting a sausage in a condom.

And it makes you feel like you're
never going to eat anything,

anything again.

Back in the day when time
in the schedule was dedicated

to children's TV, interspersed with
the cartoons could often be found

Government-funded information films.

Their usual aim was
to promote safety.

He says, "Never go anywhere with
men or ladies you don't know".

But occasionally, the methods used
could scare a child half to death.

Watch out!

SHE SCREAMS

In 1973, the great minds at
the Central Office of Information

came up with this classic.

Quite possibly the
most disturbing and horrific

piece of television I've ever seen.

Spooky, I suppose one could say.

And they've got
Donald Pleasance's voice.

Come on, come on!

The 1970s - quite a different time.

A time of no parents, apparently.

There are a lot of
public information films.

And this one is just on
another level.

If that was me as a child,
I would never go near water again.

It's like the stuff of nightmares!

Those kids that were watching
that must have been terrified.

Nobody wanted to go swimming.

Nobody wanted to wash their face.

"No, Mum, it's water! Stay away!
The Grim Reaper told me to!"

It probably gave them all a phobia.

DISTANTLY: Help!

Help!

This is meant to be safe.

Forget keeping it safe.
This just freaks me out.

Oi, look!
There's someone in the water!

Quick, use that big stick
to get him out!

Fancy putting that on television.

Is it about drowning? Or is it
about, you know, how sinister

can we make an educational film?

Very surreal.

It was the most scariest thing ever.

It was worse than a horror film.

I am pretty scarred.

And I don't think it will
ever leave me.

Children's television at the BBC
has been the launchpad for the

careers of many an up-and-coming
TV presenter.

The famous CBC Broom Cupboard,
for example, gave the likes

of Phillip Schofield, Toby Anstis,
and me our first chance to shine.

A more recent addition to
the output is the CBeebies channel,

aimed at the under-sixes.

And it was here that
Cerrie Burnell was given

her first presenting break.

Have you ever listened
to a seashell?

Well, it's what today's story
is all about.

My little boy,
when he was a toddler,

grew up watching Cerrie Burnell.

And he loved her!

She is the absolute perfect
kids TV presenter.

You just have to have fun.

You just have to find a way
of being the, kind of,

sunniest version of yourself.

Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed,
big eyes, smiley, warm.

In January 2009,
when the BBC hired Cerrie -

who'd been born with one
fully-functioning arm -

it was seen as a progressive
move by a corporation keen

to promote a modern,
inclusive employment policy.

My son never questioned the fact
that her arm stopped at the elbow.

But some parents seem convinced
the BBC had got

their casting horribly wrong.

Some parents left messages on
the CBeebies message boards,

which are anonymous.

"Get her off the television!

"Her disability is frightening
the kids!"

They were saying things like,
erm, you know,

"My daughter's really frightened.

"L'm having to turn over in between
the programmes because my

"little girl might have nightmares."

Frothing at the mouth, saying that
this brilliantly perfect

kids' television presenter
was scaring their kids.

My favourite one was, erm,

"lt's all very well talking about
disability, but I don't want

"to have to deal with it at
9.00 in the morning."

You know...so, sorry,
we'll come back at 2:10.

Next, the papers got hold
of the story.

This story appeared in the
Daily Mail, and then,

everything kind of snowballed.

If you've got young children,

then you probably recognise
our next guest.

It's Cerrie Burnell,
a presenter on CBeebies.

We did nine interviews in one day.

It went global very quickly.

It gave space to these very
negative feelings people have

about disabilities that often
aren't voiced.

You have to be taught all
these negative things.

My child didn't notice her arm,
because kids are the most accepting

people in the world.

The press coverage allowed Cerrie
to confront the prejudice head-on.

What this highlights is that people
just aren't used to seeing

disabled talent on telly.

I felt really pleased, actually,
that that was highlighted,

and that I was given the freedom,
really, and a platform to then talk

about the bigger issue.

If a prejudice exists and if people
aren't discussing it,

it means that it's just festering
and, actually,

it's better to talk about it.

And that's how you move on.

The BBC stuck by Cerrie
until the complaints faded away,

and she went on to successfully
present on CBeebies

for the next eight years.

We're at the point now where
we have a generation of children

who are growing up thinking
that disability is normal -

which, to me, is amazing.

Still to come -
we've saved the best till last.

And it's time for the
Golden Age of Kids TV,

where one presenter feels the heat.

The fire has turned into a
raging inferno.

And things kick off with a kangaroo.

Rags decides to take on the monster.

A kids classic Down Under now,
and here's evidence to prove that

animals and live TV just don't mix.

The Early Bird Show was a live
five-hour production

that enthralled Australian kids
every Saturday on Network 10.

The Early Bird Show... Yeah.
..Is like an Australian version

of Going Live. Yes.

It's a live TV show for kids. Yeah.

One of its stars
was Marty the Monster.

And they've got Marty the Monster...
Marty the Monster.

...which is the equivalent of, say...
Mr Blobby meets the Honey Monster.

The hideous-looking thing.

One regular guest was animal
expert Fritz Martin, who,

on this occasion, was accompanied
by Rags the Kangaroo.

How old's Rags?
Rags is nine years old.

G'day, Rex. How are ya, mate?

That's pretty old for a
red kangaroo. ls it?

Oh, yeah, they usually only live
about that long in the wild.

Was he a presenter? No! Right.
He's a real kangaroo.

Come on, Marie.
You've met Rags before.

I know, I love him... Hey!

Marty the Monster, kind of,
keeps coming up to Rags.

Which clearly, Rags the Kangaroo
finds threatening.

And who wouldn't, quite frankly?

He obviously didn't like anything
yellow and fluffy.

Rags the Kangaroo sees Marty
the Monster, and obviously thinks

it's some sort of bear,
or some sort of odd thing.

Whoa-ho-ho!

Don't hurt him, mate!

Rags decides to take on the monster.

And grabs a hold of him,
and gets him in a headlock.

Gets a firm - he's got a good grip!

He's a big kangaroo.

You see the muscles on him.

Incredibly well-developed
chest muscles, arm muscles.

Get him on the ground in
a full wrestling submission!

One...two...three!

And Rags is the winner!

He literally was crushing him to
the point where this guy

just fell on the floor.

He couldn't even physically,
you know, kick this kangaroo off.

MARTY SCREAMS

SCREAMI NG CONTINUES

I now pronounce you monster
and kangaroo!

They could've been being strangled,
and you wouldn't know,

cos the big, smiley monster mask
is still a smiley monster.

MARTY SCREAMING

GRUNTING

This could be the end of a good
career for the monster here.

I'm not doing anything!

Eventually he's peeled off
with great effort by the keeper.

And you'd think, at that point,
Marty the Monster had...

"Go, get out of here," you know?

You know, there's a mad kangaroo.

They're going through that
every week in the animal kingdom.

Someone should say,
"Go away, clear off."

Do you know what day it is?

Rags is now so wound up that
he's kicking seven shades of shite

out of his keeper!

He's kicking him, throttling him.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS

So, the handler says,
"Oh, give him some bread.

"That's what he wanted,
some bread."

Bread! Fight! Bread! Fight!

Would you like a bit of egg with it?

No egg, just a bit of
bread'll do, Marty.

MARTY SCREAMS

The kangaroo just wanted to hit him!

And knocked Marty out.

Why didn't Marty leave?

And then, the kangaroo probably
would've calmed down.

But no, Marty kept coming
back for more.

That was really dumb.

See, I'm not sure whether it's the
monster that got the kangaroo angry,

or the presenter in his
stonewashed denims?

And his feather-cut?

See ya. Thanks. Thanks, mate.

It was just a fabulous bit of telly.
SHE CHUCKLES

Nowadays, TV shows are strictly
controlled to be healthy and safe.

But 60 years ago, even kids'
programmes could be hazardous.

So, there was this kids'
TV programme called Super Circus.

It was from the States.

A live kids TV show -

you gotta love live kids TV,
you really have -

back in the days of black-and-white.

It basically featured everything
to do with the circus.

So, acrobats, clowns,
that kind of thing.

Super Circus ran from 1949 to '56.

One of its performers was Vivian
Nelson, who had her trapeze act

and equipment adapted for
smaller venues.

You've got this circus trapeze
act going on.

So, she's there swinging along,
you know, looking like, you know,

she had the best time in the world.

Then, all of a sudden,
she goes crashing to the ground.

It's almost like a load of
toilet rolls have alljust been

super-glued together, then just
collapsed - and she stacks it.

She absolutely decks it
off this swing.

And you see loads of stage help
running to the frame of the swing.

For the 1950s, a lesson in
health and safety gone wrong.

The presenter goes off on one, going, "Oh, no,
she's absolutely fine. She didn't fall very far."

Poor woman, she's probably
knocked her front teeth out,

probably given herself whiplash.

So, you just think,
"OK, cool, that's the end."

And then, what do they go and do?
They go and bring a child in!

And go, "There you go, kid!
You can hop on top of that and

start flinging yourself around,
as well!"

And you're like, "What?
So now, you'll have two people

on this rickety old swing
that has just broken?"

If that was me, I'd have been
out of that door.

Fair play to the woman - live TV,
"The show must go on."

So, she gets on to the top of it.

She just does this little test.

"Yep, that'll do. Give it a try."

And off she goes.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

You're literally on the edge
of your sofa, going,

"This is all going to go wrong.
They're both going to fall.

"This 14-year-old girl is just
going to go plummeting down

"to break her legs."

That could never happen nowadays.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

A few years later,
still in the '60s,

kids' show Pixanne came
to American screens -

the idea of one-time child prodigy,
Jane Norman.

Norman walked into
Philadelphia TV station WCAU TV

with no appointment, described the
show to the programme director and,

within three weeks, had it on air.

Pixanne? Have you seen Pixanne?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Pixanne.

Yeah, Police saying about it.

TO THE TUNE OF "ROXANNE":
# Pixanne...

# You don't have to put on...

It's a different Pixanne.

# You don't have to put on
the pixie suit... #

Pixanne, she wasn't a character!
She was Pixanne...

She was just a woman in
a pixie suit.

For Fire Awareness Week, Pixanne
featured a burning ring of fire

for some German Shepherd dogs
to jump through.

However, things got a
little out of hand.

So even though we're in an enchanted
forest, this guy just walks in...

The Enchanted Pixie Fire
Extinguisher Man.

He wasn't dressed up as anything!

"Hello, kids!" Pssh! Sprays it.

Well, you know what think we'll do?

I think, as a matter of fact,
we're going to leave the fire

just as it is now, and, erm...

It was all live, back in those
old days. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Maybe, instead of having to do this,

maybe the sergeant would come back
again a little bit later sometime,

and he'd show us some of the other
things that the dogs can do.

Wait a minute, let's see if
we can try once more,

and we'll put the fire out.

It goes on for about four hours.
Yeah.

HE LAUGHS

There's a real ring of fire.

It was magic - a magic pixie ring of
fire that would never go out.

The magic flame of the
Enchanted Forest burning forever.

And then, the fire officer walks in.

And what's fantastic is
he is perfectly framed.

He's doing sod all about it.

He's just watching it,
scratching his chin -

framed beautifully in shot
within the ring of fire.

You think they'd have some honker
going off, going...

HE IMITATES CLAXON HORN
You know, like a claxon.

They should have a claxon, at least!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wasn't Claxon the name of one of
the puppets on it, as well?

He had, yeah - Jeremy Claxon.

THEY LAUGH

Even though Pixanne ran for
17 years, only these few small

fragments of the show now survive.

Ironically, all of the original
tapes were destroyed...

...in a fire.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media