What We Don't Say (2019) - full transcript

- I remember,

I remember when I was a kid.

I was walking home from
school and I saw this dog

in the bushes.

Golden Retriever.

He came out to see me
and I knew he belonged

to someone, he didn't have a collar on

but he was really well
groomed and he looked hungry.

So, I gave him this peanut
butter and jelly sandwich

I had in my bag.

He ate it and then he followed me home.



I tried to hide him but of
course it's this huge dog

so my parents found him immediately

and I begged and begged and begged them

if I could keep him and they
said if we couldn't find

his real owner that we could.

So we looked around for a couple of days

and no one showed up
and I got to keep him.

I had my own dog, I named him Scooby.

But a week went by and someone showed up.

Turns out it was Scooby's real owner.

I guess his real name was Milton.

- That's a stupid name.

- I know, way worst than Scooby.

Um, and I was crushed, I cried for days



and my mum ended up feeling so bad

that she went out and
bought me my own puppy.

- Oh no, that's so sweet.

- It is except that puppy
was a fucking asshole.

I'm serious, it wouldn't play with me,

it wouldn't take treats from me.

It wouldn't do anything with me.

So one day, I uh...

- What?

Just say it, what?

- I'm gonna sound like an
asshole when I say this

so just fair warning and
the dog was an asshole to me

but I took it to an alley
and I just left it there.

- No, no, you didn't.

- I did and the crazy part
is that it followed me home.

The only time it ever
tried to get close to me.

That little asshole.

- Where's the dog now?

- It's still alive, it must be like 19.

It won't come anywhere near me when I go

visit my parents' place.

- Yeah, you left
him alone in the fucking alley.

- He was, yeah, I did.

Yup.

- So, uh, why
are you telling me this?

- Well you told me to tell you something

I never told anyone before.

- And that's
the story you chose?

- Yeah?

Yeah.

- Oh, how long have I been sleeping?

X, X?

Are you here?

- Well, good morning, Veronica.

I thought you'd never wake
up, how did you sleep?

- Good, Papa, have you
see Pigz and Blanket?

I can't find them anymore.

- They're out in the pen.

Now Veronica I know
you've been around pigs

without their blankets, you
know the rules, don't you?

That isn't safe.

- Oh, I know, Papa, but we
never let it get that far.

- That's okay, that's okay, my dear.

Say, do you happen to
remember where we put the keys

to the kingdom, I'm having the
darnedest time finding them.

- Of course, Papa, wait a minute.

Papa would never forget where the keys

to the kingdom are and that picture.

Pitbull Mitfull.

- You outsmarted me
for the last time, Veronica.

- Yeah, you're fired.

Why are you working here,
these are good, man.

You should be doing something with them.

- I, it's not even done
yet, I still have to make

like a chase scene and
there's, there's a lot to do.

- Always an excuse, eh, Ben?

Not enough time during office hours?

- It's complicated stuff.

- All right, I'm taking off.

You're gonna have your
real work done today?

- Yes.
- Yeah?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, are
you ready for tonight?

- Oh yeah, I'm gonna bring my A game.

- You fabulous bastard.

- Bastard, no, but I am fab.

See that, see how fab it was?

See it again?

- Oh, I got ya.
- You're welcome.

- Your safety
and you, Volume Eight, PPE.

- Now that you've had your
essential WHMIS training,

it's time to get to work.

Whoa, whoa, hold on there, hot
shot, forgetting something?

You can't enter an active work place

without the proper P, P, E.

That's personal protective equipment.

Now we're ready.

- I remember doing one
of those hypnotizing, um,

it was like an event at a--

- Did it work on you?
- No, not at all but I
pretended the other time

'cause I really wanted
to stay up on stage.

- Of course you would.

- So I even did like the, we did the,

there was like a belly
dancing portion of it,

we're like, if Kim Morrison
started belly dancing,

but we're like, I guess I have
to belly dance now, so, yeah.

That was a thing.
- So you just belly danced.

- Pretty much so.

- So, uh, when
are you gonna shave?

- Never, why?

- Well, I mean, you look
just so much cleaner

and more tidy without the facial hair.

- Oh really?
- Yeah.

- I think you look really clean and tidy

with no hair at all, just
.

- Oh, you do?
- Just shave the whole thing.

- I think it's a bit different though.

- It's the exact same.
- No.

- Yeah.
- No, not at all.

- I have a bald face and
you'd have a bald head.

It'd be great.

- But then like my whole,
'cause you'd have your bald face

but you'd have hair on your head.

- I'd shave too.
- You--

- We'd be matching.

- No.
- We'd be a couple of Q balls.

- No, I don't wanna be.
- Matching tattoos

on our heads.

- I don't want you to be bald.

I just want your face to be bald.

You can keep the eyebrows.

- Oh.
- Hey.

- Good color.
- Yeah, you too.

- Thanks, you ready?

- Am I ready, are you ready?

- You brought it, right?

- No, no, I forgot to bring the one thing

that I was supposed to bring.

- Okay, so Caleb's on the
couch, you go over there

and what you're gonna do is--

- Okay, hey, hey, hey.

We got this, okay?

- Okay, okay.

♪ I'm looking for love ♪

♪ I'm only human ♪

- Ben, what's happening, dude?

You brought it, right?

Yeah, in your face, yeah, drink up.

No, no, no, no, no, all of it, all of it.

All right, so I need a
favor from you, okay?

- Okay.

- And this goes down really, ah, ham it up

and go in that direction, okay?

I'm gonna use the
commotion to get in close.

- Hey, you know this
night's about Ali, right?

We're not--

- I'm gonna punch you in the stomach.

- What, why?

- So it's authentic.

- Getting punched in
the stomach and choking

aren't anywhere near the same--

- Holy shit, he's choking!

Go with it, go with it.

Holy shit, someone do the thing.

- The Heimlich, the
Heimlich, the Heimlich.

Oh my god.

- I guess I'll just come out and say it.

- Wait, are you
actually serious right now?

- Mike, will you marry me?

You said you want it unique.

- Yes.

- Thanks guys for coming.
- Yeah, buddy.

- Congrats.

- Oh my god, did you see
the look on Mike's face?

Thanks again, man.

- No problem.

- And you're good with being my best man.

- Yes, of course, of course.

Does this mean I get to
decide just how fabulous

your wedding is?

- Cheers, buddy.
- Indeed.

- Another, yep, yep.
- Yes, yes.

You like?

- Really?

- Learn to love it, Ben.

Down.

One more.

Case, come on.

- So, you gonna move out when
Ali and Mike get married?

- Fuck, this is gonna drive me nuts.

- What?

- It's only been a day
and I've already had

like three people ask me that.

I mean why am I the one
that's supposed to move out,

I mean we both rent the
place and it's fucking sweet,

I don't wanna move, you know?

- I mean, why don't you
talk to them about it,

I'm sure they won't mind.

- Yeah, maybe.

Got more in the tank, wanna keep going?

- Does it look like I wanna keep going?

Hey, what do I owe you?

- Nothing, your money's no good here.

- All right.

See you around.

- Sounds good, man.

- Yeah.

- Oh, hey, big guy.

- What's up?

- I'll tell you what's up.

Remember the fonts you did for
that boring government video?

You know the ones, the
ones you loved so much

you wished they complained,

so you get to do it all
over again from the start.

- No.
- Mm-hm, oh yes.

And the chick in charge
of it, she's a peach.

- You are fucking with me, right?

- I most definitely am not.

Excited to meet her?

- Why me?

- Personal touches, baby.

It's what gets us the big
bucks with the big clients.

She just wants to go over the fonts,

it'll take five minutes.

- That is so minuscule, can't
we do that over the phone?

- Ben, the president of the company

is telling you to go, suck
it up, baby, we're going.

We're meeting her over drinks, okay?

What is it about government
workers and booze anyway?

Does that make it less painful?

- Yes, actually it does.

- Okay, you're dismissed.

Hey, Ben, love you.

- Love you, too.

♪ She was always just fine ♪

♪ She was having something deep ♪

- Hi, Ali?

- Ben, sorry, you must be Ms. Clement.

- No, funny story, I'm her assistant

and she's not coming, so.

She sent me to give you her notes, so.

- This is it?

- Consider yourself lucky,
most people that meet with her

end up having a bad day.

- Well, um, I'm glad we came
across town for this then.

- Oh yeah, I mean my boss really believes

in connecting with people
through you know passing notes.

- All right, well, it was
a pleasure to meet you.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

Isn't this supposed to
be a drinks meeting?

'Cause my boss told me to buy

so I think we can lead with it.

- That's funny, my boss told
me the exact same thing.

- I guess we gotta drink.

- All right, what do you want to drink?

- Okay, what kind of happy
hour people should we be?

- Happy hour people?

- Yeah, like different times
of the happy hour people?

Like you know what I'm
talking, you don't know

what I'm talking about.

- Not at all.

- Okay, screw that, like
if you were a drink,

what would you be?

- Oh, ah--
- I think you're a Manhattan.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, I really do.

Conservative but still a little like tweak

over you know Old-Fashioned.

- Manhattan, what kind of drink are you?

- Oh, what do you think?

- Ah, Cosmopolitan.

- Yeah, not bad, I would go
for a lychee martini though.

- Well there you go.
- Mm-hm, yep.

Everyone is a drink.

- Fair enough, well what kind of drink

should we get today then?

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

- That's cute.

- I really don't like olives.

- I love olives.

Mm.

Okay, you need to loosen up, man.

- I'm sorry?

- It's like talking to myself here.

You like chug that martini and loosen up.

- Oh, my bad.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Never had a martini before, huh?

- Holy shit, I have a newfound
respect for James Bond.

Okay, so, um.

How long have you been
working for the government?

- Too long.

If you look at my employment record

under years worked,
there's like a sad face

and then there's a crying face

and then there's a dead face in a noose

and then there's a thumbs up to encourage

vertical business growth.

What about you?

How long have you been doing
soulless corporate videos?

- Um, like, four years?

- You like it?

- It's easy work.

- Okay, so you hate it.

- No, no, my best friend owns the company

and he pays me well.

- Okay, sure, so what
do you really wanna do?

Like what's your passions,
what's your interests?

- You don't skip a beat at all,
you just jump right into it.

- Mm-hm.

- Cartoons, I really like
making old '20s style cartoons.

- Cartoons, see that's interesting.

You should lead with that next time.

- Well, what about you,
what are your passions?

- Journalism, I'm actually
moving to New York

at the end of the month for it.

- Really?

- Yeah, I mean I'm already
a journalist like part-time.

I've been doing it for years.

- Well, that's awesome, congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Would you
guys like another round?

Happy hour's still for another five.

- What do you think, another round?

- Wait, another five,
oh shit, no, I'm sorry,

I gotta go, I'm sorry, I gotta go.

Can you put this on my tab please?

- No, no, no, no, my boss
said we should get the round.

- Come on, dude, we hired you.

Plus you have already paid for it.

You know, like your taxes?

That's that.

Okay.
- Okay.

- This was really fun.

- Yeah, yeah, it was.

- So I guess you have
yourself a nice day, Benjamin.

- You too.

- Thank you.

Just give me your phone.

Just...

Just to clarify, I'm not
looking for anything serious

and I don't do dinner or movies, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay then.

- Ben, how was the meeting?

Jesus.

That's it?

What's going on here, why
are you all smiling and shit?

Uh, Ben, how much did you put on this?

I'm getting married,
Ben, I don't have money

for your luxury night out, Ben.

- Love you.

- Ben!

- Can't enter an active work place

without the proper PPE.

- All right, classic church.

- Mm, no.
- No.

- No one likes the church idea, eh?

Yeah I don't like it either.

- Why would you even consider a church?

They don't even want you to get married.

- That is an excellent point.

- I still like the farmhouse.

- Please.

The farm's all right but
it pales in comparison

to beach wedding.

- Yeah but you know the
beach isn't gonna work.

- How big are you guys
planning on going with this?

- Well I'm gonna want
my whole family there.

- And my mom will probably invite everyone

to see how the gays do it.

- Did she really say that?
- Yeah.

- I love your mom.

- So what do you think?

- Well you know the beach
is rough for some people.

Mom has a cane and grandpa
can't be on that heat.

- Okay I'm kind of pissed
your mom's gonna make us

miss out on a beach wedding.

- I know but it's gonna be great.

All of our family there,
everyone that we love

is gonna be there, it's
gonna be incredible.

- It'll be all right, man,
just make her eat fish.

- She does hate fish.

- Okay, now this is genius.

- Actually it's 100% goat milk.

- Do you know why this is here?

- Why?

- I'll give you two to
one odds that like one

of these doors is paying him to be there.

- Okay, explain.

- Okay, you know how
they say never go grocery

shopping when hungry?
- Yeah.

- Okay, it's the opposite
for furniture shopping.

They want you to be full and bloated.

They want you to sink in their cushions

and get into naps, makes
you wanna buy their shit.

It's like a strategy, it's
like a marketing strategy.

- All right, well whose your source?

- Well let's go in, shall
we and we shall see.

Can't you see it behind their eyes?

They eat, get trucked
out, walk as a happy clams

picking up useless shit.

- You're right.

You are a good journalist.

- And then they die.

They fucking die, Ben.

- We need to break this
cycle, I don't wanna die

in a furniture store.

- But you do need a new table, don't you?

- You're right.
- Yeah.

- Let's risk it.
- Okay.

Oh.

You got me some wine?

- Yes, actually, I imported
the finest crystallized wine

just for you.

- Wow, I just don't think I can drink any.

- You don't wanna drink
my crystallized wine?

- You've drunk some, haven't you?

You've drunk some wine
and now you're a part

of this marketing scheme.

- Join us.

- No.

No.

No.

- So what do you think?

Is this the one?

- I think it has sentimental value now.

It has to be...

- Okay, I could probably get that online

for like a hundred bucks.

- Okay.
- Let's go.

- Let's go then.
- Yep.

- You'll have to tell me when
the table gets dropped off.

I'll help you build it
and I'll even bring beer.

- Well how can I refuse
an offer like that?

- That's it.

So this isn't your usual date, is it?

- Oh no, it is.

- Oh shit, it must be expensive.

- No, no, see what I do
is that we go to the store

and I'm like, "Oh no, the
furniture's too expensive.

"I'll just go online and buy it."

Then we part ways and I just don't.

- That's, that's good.

It's good.

- Do you wanna do something fun?

- Always.

- Voila.
- Wow.

- Yeah.

This is what I call fun.

- You know, I'm not quite
sure how to figure you.

- I'm sorry you can't, you
don't know how to figure me?

- Okay how to figure you, figure you out.

I don't know to figure you out.

I'm French, okay?

- Okay, why can't you figure me?

- Okay, well when I first met you,

you were--
- Keep in mind,

that I was prepared to meet not you.

- Okay, okay, that's fair.

But still, I mean, you were, you know,

quite shy I would say

and I mean look at you now.

You have me climbing trees at sunset.

- Sorry.
- Yeah.

- It's my friend Caleb, I should--

- Of course, yeah sure.

- Okay.

Hello?

Yep.

All right, okay.

Yeah, I'll see you soon.

Okay, bye.

So my friends are drunk and the DD

can't get his car started.

- Oh.

- So would you like to go
meet some drunk people?

Uh, 27th and Main please.

- So where are you from?

- Montreal.

- I thought I heard an accent.

It means you speak French, right?

- Oh, oui.

- Oh, bonjour.

- What does that mean?

- It means you're beautiful.

- You're French,
have you ever been to France?

- Yeah, I went last summer actually.

- Awesome, was it awesome?

- Yeah, it was pretty awesome.

- Awesome.

- Thank you for today.
- No problem.

- You know, Ben's probably one
of the coolest guys I know.

Been friends with him since I was a kid,

he's a great guy right there.

- Whoa, that's a long time.

- Literally forever.

Hey, you know what we should do?

Make late night pancakes.

Ali and I perfected late night pancakes.

- Late night pancakes.

- Yeah.

- How about, man,
do you want some pancakes?

- If you want, man,
we'll make some pancakes.

- All right.

- Okay but just before, you
guys need to drop me off

at my house 'cause I gotta get up early.

- What, no, eat pancakes
with us, it'll be fun.

I'm like Garret Ramsey.

- I trust that.

- When it comes to late night pancakes.

Oh, god!

Man, seriously be careful, she
could just be leading you on.

- Why would she do that?

What would that do for her?

- Girls like to play games.

- Yeah maybe the girls you know.

- She's moving in a month, yeah.

I'm sure she is, mark my words, Ben.

- Don't mark anything.

- Mark my words, whatever
it is she's telling you,

it isn't true but on the other hand,

she speaks French and that's hot.

- Don't listen to this,

you're not gonna listen to him, are you?

That girl is a good girl.

- Good in the sack maybe.

- Don't let this idiot
get inside your head.

- Like you know women--

- I do know women.
- You don't wanna take lady

advice from a gay man.

- This gay man actually talks to women.

I listen to them, that's
how I know them better.

Look, when you realize that I'm right.

- You aren't right.

- I think you should explore this.

I know the whole hanging
out without actually

being together thing is not the Ben style

but I think it's been long enough.

- He's trying to say you need to get laid.

- Yeah, I got that.

- I mean you literally had a
hot chick fall into your lap.

- She didn't fall into my lap.

- Fine, across from.

- Don't you think you're
pulling a bit of a nerve here?

What if I said, "How about
you go play college ball?"

- Yeah, yeah, okay,
Caleb didn't make the cut

for college ball, get some
new material, you fucking--

- See, you really wanna take
advice from this hot head?

- Yeah, yeah.
- I don't know.

- I get what you mean, I like her.

She seems genuine, you know?

- Good, good, follow those instincts.

- But I don't think it matters anymore

because I think you guys scared her off.

- What did I do?
- Why?

- I don't know, maybe it
was the three drunkskateers

in the background or your interrogation

or everyone yelling pancakes,
pancakes, everything,

it just seemed better when we
were together alone, you know.

I don't know, you're logical,
what do you think, Mike?

- I wouldn't worry about a thing.

She seemed really cool and relaxed

and I don't think we
ruined your date night.

- Yeah, I hope you're right about that.

- No, trust me, by the time you get home,

you'll have a text from her.

Like Ali said, we're gay, we know women.

- Oh fuck you both.

- Fuck me?

Is this finally happening?

- What the hell's happening?

Oh god, stop it.
- The three way of our dreams.

- No, no, no!

What's in there, is there anymore left?

- How bad do you want them?
- Give it.

Bad enough, okay, whatever it is you.

Oh!

- This suit looks look, am I right?

Like I'm not crazy,
this is a bitching suit.

- What, what are you talking about,

what's wrong with the suit?

- The suit, it's an awesome suit.

- Yeah, sure, it's a great suit.

- Right.

Mike doesn't want me to
wear it to the wedding.

It's his mom.

She expects me to buy a
new suit, a wedding suit.

He's mad at me 'cause I said her fuck her.

Fuck her, it's our wedding and I wore it

on our first date, he loved the suit.

Why shouldn't I wear
the suit to our wedding?

- Is this gonna be a long conversation
because I can put some pants on.

- You go, yeah do that.
- Okay.

Here you go, James Bond.

- Don't ever get married,
man, don't do it.

It's all grandma can't go to the beach

or your second cousin's
allergic to garlic.

Garlic for fuck's sakes.

How do you develop a garlic
allergy, it's in everything.

- 'Cause you're a vampire clearly.

- That, that's an explanation.

I don't know if she'd like
me saying that to her, but.

Anyway just don't ever get married.

It's really just not a good idea.

- You're excited to get married, right?

- I'm excited to be married.

- You know what, you're gonna be fine.

This is classic wedding shenanigans.

Everybody goes through this.

- Look at you, getting the
real best man experience, eh?

- Hm.

- Cheers.

Um, that's not coffee.

- No, it's not.

- I feel like
the arrows are pointing

different directions here.

- You have to put
your hands in front of you.

- Right.

Juliette?

- Where are you?
- Which way did you go?

- I don't know.
- Left?

- I went through that maze.

- With, with something.

- Why does it stop here?

We're back to the beginning?

Oh no.

I have to go now.

- Don't leave me.

- I will have to save myself.

- Okay.
- Sorry.

Okay, you look horrified.

You've been on one before, right?

- Not by choice.

You're not the first pretty
girl that convinced me

to do something stupid.

- Well, it only lasts a few minutes.

- You don't understand,
when I'm nervous like this,

I just imagine all the possible outcomes

and they're all worst case scenarios.

- But like what?

- Oh like, you know,
we get stuck at the top

and I have a sudden hit of diarrhea.

- Okay, that's unlikely.

- Or while we're traveling at full speed,

a flock of birds just
comes and kills us dead.

- Okay, I don't think it would kill us.

- Birds can take out airplanes,

I don't think meat sacks are a problem.

- You're neurotic, you know that?

- Okay and the worst case
scenario and most likely

is that as we're traveling at full speed,

it just derails off a ramp
and we crash to our deaths.

- Oh wait.

What was that sound, can you hear that?

- What?

- Oh my god.

Caw!

- Fuck off.

- Yeah, I obviously like
these rails like don't look,

I don't know like--
- Come on.

- Oh and I put laxatives in your coffee.

- Don't.
- I did.

Thought it would be funny.

Okay, it's filming now.

Okay it's filming.

How you feeling?

- I don't--

- I'm sorry but I really
did have to film this.

This is gonna be too good.

- We are so high already.

- He's a scared pussy.

This is good for you.

This is good for you.
- Close my eyes.

♪ I close my ♪

Oh, it's happening.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- It's happening.

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Yes.
- Madness roller coaster.

- Hey, are you okay?

- No, I think, uh.

- Oh, no.

Oh.

You're not gonna pup on me, are you?

- I think just the roller coaster

gave me cancer.

- Oh, well that's not funny.

I mean my uncle--
- Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean anything by that.

- He, uh...

He died of roller coaster cancer.

Come on, that was funny, Ben.

- No, not at all.

- Hey, your bag!

That was funny!

- Okay, let's
see if you can do it.

- Yeah!

It was on it though.
- By a hair!

- You still have to win something for me.

You haven't won anything for me.

- I'm sor--
- I won something for you.

Look.

- Oh yeah, I don't think uh,
I don't think that counts.

- Why?
- It's so small, it's like literally like

you can get this out of a quarter machine.

- Would you rather have
quality or quantity?

- Did you get more?

- No, that's quan--

- Oh this is quality, I see.
- That's funny.

- Right.
- Yeah, okay.

- Yes, the five cent plastic--
- You know what?

- Pinky ring.

- I really don't feel like
giving you anything anymore

for the rest of my life.

- I love it, it's amazing.

- Too late now, that's way too late.

Why are you taking it off
then if you like it so much?

- I'm just trying a different fingers.

Just making sure--

It fits on a different one.

All right well what do you
want, what do you want?

Do you want like a bear or?

- I want a Yeti.
- You want a Yeti?

- Big one.

- Oh my
goodness, are those pythons

or are those .

Winner, winner, winner!

Any jumbo sword you want,

he only got one try, guys.

You only get one try.

Select any sword you want, buddy,

any flaming sword,

Any sword, any object that you want.

Aw!

- Yeah!

- Hey.

You know--
- Sh.

Just enjoy the moment, Ben.

- So I'll just stop by
my house really quick.

Grab a shower and then
meet you at your place?

- Hm.

What's Ali having us do tonight?

- Some sort of cake testing I think.

Come on, man, get off your phone.

- But chicks.

I might have to bail.

- What, why?

- I really don't wanna go to this thing.

He's pissing me off lately.

He can tell if cake tastes
good without me too.

- What happened?

- I talked to him about the apartment

and you were wrong, he did care.

- He wanted to keep it too, huh?

- Yep, it's bullshit.

He gets married and I'm
supposed to give up my place

so he can be all fucking grown up.

- Look, I know you don't like change

but this might be a good thing.

You might find a sweet place.

- I already have a sweet place.

- Look, let's just go, show our support,

have some free cake, it's
his wedding after all.

- Yeah, that he still
has tons of time to plan.

This blonde wants it now.

It's bad, man, I just love
pussy, what can I say?

All right, I'll talk to
you later then, okay?

- See ya.

- It's all for me, baby.

Oh.

Mm, mm, let's do this,
make it prettier, mm.

- Nice touch.
- Yes.

So what do you think of this one?

- Mm, it's good, I like it.

What is it?

- It's lavender infused Tahitian vanilla

with creme fraiche rosemary icing.

Mm!
- Mm, yeah.

- It's really good.

- Okay, so you're supposed to take slot F

and put one piece--

- No, no, no.
- No, yeah, no,

'cause slot F1A is--
- Let me see.

- No, no, no, slot, no, no.

You're supposed to take--
- You have it upside down.

See the crew, the screw--
- No, I know,

but you gotta take this leg piece

so you can make room for the leg to go,

oh my god, these instructions might

as well be in Swedish
too, this makes no sense.

- Did you know they make the instructions

hard to understand on purpose?

- What, really?

- Yeah, they hire
chronically depressed people

for their phone lines and
when people like us call,

no one's lonely, it's like public service.

- Really?

- Oh my god, you're so
gullible, it's not even fun!

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Pizza's here.

- Yep, there's--

Yep, 40 bucks.

- Oh, okay, I see.

I think I get it!

Yeah, I think we had it upside down.

Yeah.

Yeah, we had it, okay,
okay, so grab this one

and like the plastic thingy too

and grab these too.
- Okay.

- And oh we need these
two, we're gonna need this.

Okay and yeah, grab these ones.

You okay?
- Yeah.

- Oh and yeah, the screws, this

and you...

Yeah.

- I can't believe I never saw that before.

- How long did that take?

- Too long, an hour and--

- Oh, you regret cheaping out?

- Yep.

Yep, I do.

- Pitbull Mitfull!

- You outsmarted me
for the last time, Veronica.

Now I will use your favorite friends,

Pigz and Blanket against you.

Why don't you help them?

- Please don't come near us, Princess.

- It's all wrong without our blankets.

We might throw up on you.

- I'd start running .

- How do you write the dialogues?

- I just ad lib it.

- Really?

- Yeah, I'll get you next time, Veronica.

- Well that is adorable.

- Oh, thank you.

- Seriously though, those
cartoons are really good.

- Thank you, you're sweet.

I know they're nothing
special but I like doing them.

- Why don't you think they're special?

- I don't know, I think a lot of people

are convinced that they're special

so they need to admit that they aren't.

I mean what's the likelihood
that there are that many

amazing, undiscovered actors
and artists out there, really?

Isn't it more likely that
they're just not that great

and nothing's really ever
gonna happen for them?

- You know what I think?

- Hm.

- I think it's a fucking
shame how few people try

and I think it's a shame you're of them.

You know what, we're all gonna die one day

so just fuck it, try something!

- Fuck it, very poetic.

Can I kiss you?

- Do you always ask permission?

- It's better.
- You're such a pussy.

- I snapped my back.

- Do you smoke?

- No, why, do you?

- Oh, on occasion.

- On what occasions are those?

- Well, after sex and also after sex.

Do you have an ashtray?

- Why would I?

- Okay, fair enough.

- Do you smoke often?

- Maybe.

- Maybe meaning like a lot or maybe

a little or--
- Oh no, oh no.

Maybe means--
- Is it like a once a week

sort of a thing or is it like
once a month sort of thing?

- Okay.

- Have you quit smoking for awhile?

- I'm sure I can find
an ashtray somewhere.

- Not necessarily both.

- Hey, how are you doing?

- Good, how are you?

- I'm good.
- Good.

- That's good.
- Yeah.

- I brought your stuff.
- Awesome, yeah.

- So what's new?

- Mm, I'm seeing someone.

- Really?
- Yeah.
- Well, okay.
- She's pretty awesome,

so that's going well, yeah.
- Yeah.

How'd you meet her?
- Work.

- Yeah?
- Actually.
- Cool.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- How about you?

- I've actually got something
kind of exciting going

in my life too.

I'm moving to Thailand for a bit.

- Really?
- If you can believe it, yeah.

- Congratulations, that's--
- Thank you.

- That's awesome.
- Yeah, yeah.

You remember how I always
talked about how I wanted

to do yoga?

- I think so, yeah.

- Do you remember me talking about it?

- Right, yeah, well I just, I didn't think

you were that serious, that's all.

- Well I was, um, I've been
really getting into it lately

and I've decided to go get certified.

- That's awesome, congratulations.

- Thank you.

That's how I found your stuff.

I was packing up the old crawlspace and--

- Wait a sec, um, sorry, I thought you,

ah, wanted to keep, ah,
living in that place.

I thought that was why I moved out.

- Well, I did, but then, um,

this opportunity came up

and I just had to take it, you know?

That's actually why I asked you here.

I know how much you love that apartment

and I'm not gonna be in it anymore so I--

- You called me here to
offer me the apartment.

Why would I wanna go back there?

- I just know how much you loved it.

- Well then why didn't I keep it?

- Wasn't it your idea to move out?

- Everything's my fault,
great, that's wonderful.

Did you just come here
to gloat about how great

your life is

now that I'm--
- What?

- Not in it anymore or?

- No, no, I wanted to do the right thing.

I wanna be your friend, I...

I miss you.

- My friend.

This is how you treat your friends, right?

What's even in this box.

- I don't know, it's your stuff.

I figured you'd want your stuff.

- My stuff.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

I think you just wanted
to offer me your scraps.

- What, no, I...

I wanted to do the right thing.

I wanted to give you your stuff

and offer you the apartment
and now you're making me

out to be some kind of bad guy.

- You are the bad guy.

You broke up with me, you
kicked me out of the apartment

and now you're back here
making me look like I'm some

kind of asshole and I don't deserve this.

- Well, well,
well, look who's alive.

- Hey.

- What's up with you?

- Nothing.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Okay, you gotta give me something here

because I can go home and talk to myself--

- I'm sorry.

I just went to go see my ex.

- Oh.

Oh.

- Yeah, she wanted to give
me a box of my old stuff.

- Mm, what's in it?

- I don't know, I haven't opened it.

- Why not?

- I just want it to be done with.

- Then why would you meet up with her?

- She asked me the exact same thing.

- I mean...

Do you want her back?

- No, no, no, no, not at
all, I just wanna know

that she's not okay without me.

I know, that makes me sound
like a dick and I'm sorry.

- I mean no, it's not wrong.

- I'm sorry too, I don't mean
to vent on you right now.

- No, it's okay, it's fine, really.

You know what you should do?

- What?

- They're just things.

- It's not the things.

It's the memories.

You'll never get the keys to the kingdom.

I'll find Papa Rooster.

We'll see about that, my darling .

- Hey, pay attention and
one of those characters

better be me.

- I have actually made you a character

and I call him Le Monsieur.

- Oh, I'm French now.

- Oui and I am fab just like you.

- Okay, I think I like it .

All right, help me out.

Which one of these--

- Would you guys please cut it out

with all this wedding stuff?

I barely see him now that
he's seeing the French chick.

When I do, it's only
because you guys are going

over all this shit.

Thank you.

Speaking of, how's that
going, you bang her yet?

- Bang her yet?

What are you, 14?

They've only hung out
like a couple of times.

- So?

- So not all of us bring
home loose women like you.

- Yeah, some girls like to wait

like more than a few hours, you know.

- Oh please, the girls that like to wait

are the girls that wait
forever because those girls

aren't into you and will
never sleep with you.

- That is so not true.

- Remind me again, how
long did it take you

and Mike to fuck.

- That's not important,
that's not the same though.

- How isn't it?

- Because neither of them are girls.

- You know I'm right, if
you've been on a week's worth

of dates with someone and
you haven't had sex yet,

that's a red flag and you
need to pull the shoot.

- Pull the shoot, you're
really gonna listen

to a guy who says pull the shoot?

And no way, she's cool, she
doesn't put out a week in

is a shit reason to stop seeing someone.

- I said a week's worth
of dates, not a weekend.

Don't twist my words.

- Okay now you're just
running around the point

and the point is she's cool.

If they don't have sex, who cares.

- I care, Ben needs to get
some to get over his bitch ex.

Sorry, dude.

- Huh?

Sorry, I hate to do this to you guys

but I have to go,
Juliette's picking me up.

- So you have fucked her.

- No, it's just uh
we're going to the beach

to have some drinks with her hot friends.

- What's he talking about?

- It's just Juliette, me
and her insanely hot friends

drinking half naked by the
beach, it's dumb, it's stupid.

- No, that's not dumb, no, Ben, Ben.

- Thanks for the beer.
- No, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.

Ben, Ben.

I'm blaming you for this.

- All right, let's do this.

- What are you guys talking about?

- How cool are you with acid?

- Aimee brought some.

- What's it taste like?

- Paper.

- But then it's blissful.

- You don't have to if you don't want to.

But if you do want, it's right here.

Do you want one?

- Do I even know you?

Of course aliens exist.

- No way, no way.

Do you really think there's
any way that we could

be visited by little, tiny, gray dudes

in flying plates without the
whole world knowing about it?

- Yes, I do but that's
not what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is we
haven't made contact yet.

Maybe they're out there but--

- What if they don't have a physical form.

Have you thought of that?

- What?
- Yes.

- How can life not have a physical form?

- Have you ever heard of the singularity?

- Yeah, it's like.
- Hey.

- Hi guys.
- Hey, it's like, uh,

so computers are mended with--

- I'm not following, I don't
wanna follow, fuck you,

they don't exist.

- Fuck you.
- Everyone,
this is Ben.

- Hi, Ben.
- How's it going, Ben?

- Hi.
- Do you think aliens exist.

- Oh, I, I don't have
any opinions on aliens.

- Oh come on!

- Okay, take it easy,
first time acid trier.

- Oh, I don't think I should
be in this conversation.

- 100% you should be in this conversation.

Ben, aliens.

Why don't you have an opinion on them?

- Well you know how the
Matrix is like a computer

simulation, right?
- Yeah, exactly.

- Is that an okay answer?

- What's wrong with you?

- Fucking kidding me.

- I just--
- You're so narrow minded.

- I'm not, you're narrow.
- Okay, come on.

- Narrow minded.

- This doesn't win an argument.

- What was your theory?

- So, Tom DeLonge, he explored
aliens for a long time

after leaving Blink 182.
- Oh fuck that guy.

- Come on.

- Oh yeah, play some music
for us, something nice.

You're such an idiot, Diego.

♪ This time, this world ♪

♪ It has been good ♪

♪ But I don't feel complete ♪

♪ Mom and dad, I have to go outside ♪

♪ The city's calling me, calling me ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I'm walking through
that open door, oh yeah ♪

♪ I go up, papi, I return, oh whoa ♪

♪ When I'm howling at the moon ♪

♪ I will remember you ♪

♪ Hope to be back soon ♪

♪ So this is bye, bye,
bye, bye, bye, bye ♪

♪ And this is bye ♪

♪ Bye, bye ♪

♪ Bye, bye, bye, bye ♪

- Hey.

- Thank you.

Are you not having one?

- Not unless you wanna walk home .

- Oh driving.

- Yeah.
- Right.

- Are you still okay
to do that by the way?

- Oh yeah, definitely,
we still got tons of time

to come down.

How's your first trip?

- I do this.
- Yeah.

- I have like six hands.

So you're the one who got
Juliette her job, right?

- I got her the interview,
she got the job.

- That's pretty awesome of you.

- Yeah, it's just, um,

she's glad I could do something for her.

It's good seeing her like this again.

I haven't seen her this
happy since I don't know

before the divorce.

- What's got her so happy these days?

- You're a nice guy, aren't you?

- I think so.

- I think lots of things
are making her happy.

Quitting her job,
getting the new job, you.

Are you falling for her?

It's okay, I get it .

She is really awesome.

- Yeah, yeah, she is.

- You, uh, you didn't know
about the divorce, right?

- Was it that obvious?

My poker face sucks.

- Yeah, pretty much .

I'm sure the acid doesn't help either.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Look, don't take it personally,

she just doesn't talk about it much.

Even when I ask about it,
she kind of deflects it.

I don't know, she's
kind of still relearning

how to love herself.

I know she's pretty confident
and it helps to hide it but

it took a lot out of her.

You aren't gonna start
freaking out on me, are ya?

- No.

- No, acid's not gonna get
to you, no hysterical tears,

no internal whiplash?
- No, no, no, no.

Oh fine, you're really easy to be around.

- How's it going, guys?

- Hi, hi.

Ah, hello.

I'm just gonna go.

- Okay, I'll see ya.

How are you?
- Hey.

This place is really beautiful.

- I know.

I love it here.

It's like looking out to
the edge of the world.

I could just stare out to
the horizon and then...

Get lost forever.

- You know...

Whatever horizon you do end up on,

I'm always just a message
away if you ever need.

- I know.

- It's really pretty.

Are they clams?
- Should grab some of this

and make a mask.

- Yeah?

It's good for exfoliation.

- To remember this day forever.

- Thank you.
- Wait, I'm gonna wash it.

- Oh.
- Oh, I can't.

- Oh.

- So many clam shells.

- This is gonna be the dirty treasure

but it's a treasure still.

- Okay, I'll never
wash my hands again.

- Do you like it?

- I love it.
- Oh god.

- Come back.
- Okay, no.

How are you?
- I'm good.

- Yeah?

- I'm wondering why the water's not

like up to here.

- Hey buddy.
- Good morning.

- What are you doing tonight?

We're trying out caterers for the wedding.

Mike wants a few more opinions on them.

- Tonight?

Wait, sorry, I thought we
already tried caterers.

- Ben, those are bakers,
these are caterers.

Very different.

- Actually, um...

I have plans with Juliette tonight.

- Oh, all right, we can reschedule.

- No, no, no, no, that's fine--

- Trust me, buddy, it's, it's all good.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah, yeah, we've got
tons of time to plan.

You go hang out with your lady friend.

- Benjamin.

- Fuck.

Fuck.

God fucking damn it.

I think I broke your key.

Sorry about that.

- You had one shot, man.

- I did?
- Like one shot.

- That's right.

- You're fired.

- Oh, okay, so my job's done then, right?

I'll just go home.

Day's over, perfect.

- Hey, so I wanted to ask you something.

Have you ever tried dating apps?

- What, why?

- Okay, that's a yes.

- How's that a yes?

It's just a weird
question to ask post sex.

- How are you not used to me
asking you weird shit yet?

- Um...

Okay, yeah, I've been on a couple.

- Yep, yep, I thought you looked familiar.

- Wait, did you see me on one?

Before we started hanging out?

And you didn't swipe right?

- What, your profile didn't do it for me.

- Ah, so it's like an ugly thing.

- No, no, you're cute as a button.

- Cute.
- Okay, handsome.

- Now you're just backpedaling.

- As fuck.

- No seriously, what didn't do it for you?

- I don't know, why does it matter?

- I suppose it doesn't
but we're hanging out now

and you didn't swipe then

so it must be an ugly thing, right?

- Okay, Ben, come on.

- Or am I just good enough
to fuck for like a month.

- Well yeah obviously.

- No, seriously.

- Look you're making way too much of this.

We're talking about online apps here.

Online dating apps, why does it matter?

I mean, I don't know, maybe your profile

didn't do it for me because
you looked relationshipy

or like a serial killer in your pictures.

- How are those comparable?

- Who cares, why's it matter?

We're here now, that's
what's important, right?

And like you said, we are...

I mean, do you want me to
stop 'cause I can stop.

- No.
- I can stop.

- I don't want you to stop.
- You want me to stop.

- I don't want you to stop, I don't.

See you later?

- Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Whatever.

You got the good stuff.

- Oh my god, oh my god.

- Good!

- I know, me too.

- Hm.

- Mm-hm.

Wow.

What?

- One down .

- Fuck.
- Come on, girl .

♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey, this is Ben's friend, uh, Caleb.

- What's up?
- How you doing?

- What are you doing here?

- I'm just here with some friends.

- Cool.
- Oh, no Benjamin?

- I thought he'd be with you.

- Oh well, speak of the devil.

- Have him come out.

You know, um, it's too bad you're moving.

We all should've hung out more.

- Yeah, I know, right?

Hey, I got a friend that's
touring this little show

in a few days.
- Yeah!

- You guys should all come.

- For sure, yeah.

- Yeah.

Okay, next one?

- Wanna come?

- Yeah, sure, lead the way.

- Cool.
- Lead the way.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah it is awesome.

Yeah, volunteering at the orphanage.

- Of course, yeah sure.

- But, um, I, enough about me now.

What do you do?

- Not you.
- Whoa, all right,

all right, all right, okay.

- Beer coming, beer coming.

- Thanks, honey, to you, my dear.

- Exactly what we need.
- Thank you.

- To me and to beer.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, yes.
- There you go.

- Yes, there you go.

I said your name so
we're talking about you.

- Oui, oui, oui.

- Okay, is that, this is.

- Oui, that one I knew.

Yes, the you asked me

if I spoke French and I said yes.

- Yes.

Hey.

- Everybody.
- Surprises.

- Out.

What are you even saying?

Dude, you didn't put anything--

- Oh come on!
- Okay, okay.

- All right.
- To love!

- Love.
- To love!

- Ladies' night and the feeling's right.

- I'm sorry, that last shot was too much.

- No, it's never too--

- Too much.
- Too much.

- Too must.

- You know what, you're kind of funny.

- I am.

- I'm fine!

- She's fine.
- I'm fine.

- I'm gonna go.

I forgot my phone.
- Yeah.

- Papa Rooster, I just have
the most dreadful feeling

that Pitbull Mitfull's out
there somewhere waiting to.

Veronica.

Did you ever stop to think
that maybe Pitbull Mitfulls

are just lonely?

And so she said nothing, nothing weird,

nothing out of the ordinary?

- No, we just talked
about you the entire time.

- And then what happened?

- They left.

- And she said nothing, nothing
memorable, nothing weird?

- I don't think so.

- Do you wanna grab a beer?

- I have this thing I gotta do.

- I could really use a beer.

- Okay, yeah.

- Still no word, eh?

- I don't get it.

I don't understand, things were going...

Really well.

- Maybe she thinks you're
getting too serious.

- You're gonna be my best friend tonight.

- Hey, uh, I'm just gonna
look around for a bit.

- Okay.

- I'm gonna help you do it.

Wait, which one has the ball after?

I'm sorry.

- Hey.
- Hey Ben, what's up?

- How are you?
- Good.

- You haven't seen Juliette, have you?

- No, I thought she was coming with you.

- No, I haven't been able to find her.

- Oh, she's probably
just late or hungover.

We had a lot of wine.

- Hey, guys how are y'all doing tonight?

- I'll be back in a minute.
- Okay, see ya.

- Thanks for coming out.

♪ One step after another ♪

♪ Through the smoke ♪

♪ You're the new grains ♪

♪ Shouldering the rain ♪

- Have you tried calling her?

- She's not responding.

- Like you haven't talked to her at all?

- Look, buddy, uh, I know
you don't wanna hear this

but it's probably because she's leaving.

Maybe she doesn't know how to say goodbye.

Dude.

Ben.

♪ Over when ♪

♪ I must have been led ♪

♪ Come and see the sky take me ♪

♪ Callus through the sky,
take my breath away ♪

- Hey.

I guess they got the key out of there, eh?

So what's up?

- Sorry, things just got
busy, I was gonna text you.

- I don't mean what's up tonight.

Where've you been?

- I just had a lot of stuff
to do before I go, you know,

clean the apartment and
pack and reply to emails.

Just making sure everything's good.

- Did you get it all finished?

- Yeah.

- What's going on?

Did I do something to piss you off?

- No.
- Did something happen?

- No, nothing happened.

- Are you sure 'cause it seems

like something happened.
- Oh my god.

- Does this have something
to do with your divorce?

- What?

That's just none of your business.

You're not my husband,
Ben and we're not that

and we're never gonna be that, fuck.

- Yeah.

- Ben.

- Look, I get it, it's fucked up

but when you stop to think about it,

what did I do wrong?

- Are you fucking stupid?

- That's Ben's girl.

- Says who?

They aren't together, right?

They aren't together, they aren't an item.

Even they'll tell you that.

- Yeah but that doesn't make it okay.

- This is how Caleb gets
off scot-free all the time

for acting like a fucking child.

- They aren't together, they
can fuck whoever they want.

- Are you fucking serious?

- And look at you guys, hypocrites.

Wanna remind me how single Mike was

when you two started fucking, huh?

- That's different, that's a low blow

and you fucking know it.

- How is it different, huh?

How is it different?

- 'Cause I was in love with him.

- Oh, come on!

You fucked him 'cause
you wanted to fuck him.

- You need to grow the fuck up, okay?

Life isn't about fucking
everything and not caring anymore.

People have lives, okay,
you can't just fuck 'em up

'cause you feel like it.

- You are such a fag!

- Hey, why, why did you?

What is wrong with you?

- I'm sorry.

I'm fucking sorry.

- Ben.

Ben.

Hey.

I'm sorry, you don't deserve that.

- Why didn't you tell me you were married?

- Why would I, what's to say?

- Well, if it gets a reaction
like that, clearly a lot.

- Look.

When I first met my husband,

my ex-husband, we had this,

this like crazy, intense
passion and so we got married.

But you just can't love
someone that fast, you know?

I mean what we had was amazing
because it was never meant

to be complete and once it was...

It was just...

Look, Ben.

I'm kind of fucked up and I
know you want to be the one

that fixes that,

but it's not your fault
and you're not the bad guy.

I'm gonna go.

I'm just gonna go.

- Juliette, wait.

- I don't want you to need me, Ben.

- I know.

It's just...

It's been really good getting to know you.

- Yeah.

It was.

- I know you're gonna hate this but...

Do you want to come back to my place?

Hey, you awake?

- Yeah.

I'm gonna miss you, you know?

- Yeah, I'm gonna miss you too.

I'm really glad we got to do this.

- Yeah, me too.

Don't even have to switch the fingers.

- So that one--
- Easy right?

- So, three and then the two on.

- Make it, make a song.

- Okay.

- About whatever you want.

♪ It makes me sad that I make you sad ♪

♪ It makes me cry but I'm not your wife ♪

♪ I've done things that
I couldn't tell you ♪

♪ Maybe that's what keeps
our feelings apart ♪

♪ I'll ♪

I don't remember.

- You just switched
that to a completely

different chord there.

- That's why I was stopping
there, okay, your go.

- Okay.
- Give me the phone.

- You're not telling him.

- Yes, I am, I have to.

- Why?

- Because he should know the truth.

- No, he shouldn't, he's happy now.

- You're saying like
I'm trying to hurt him.

- Look, if you tell him
all you'll do is ruin

what he had with her.

One sec.

- Look, we're gonna bury
this, he's not gonna find out

and that's the least you
could do for him, okay?

- Start looking for your own place.

Hey.

- Whoa, what happened to you?

- Don't, uh...

Don't bang people's girlfriends.

- You finally got a violent one, eh?

Did you guys see who fucked him up?

- No, we left just after you did.

- Are you gonna be okay?

That looks...

Not fun.

- Yeah.

- You know, I've been thinking.

- What's that?

- Your wedding.

You guys are so worried about
what you're supposed to do,

right, but it's your day, isn't it?

Shouldn't it make you happy?

I think you should just get married today.

- That would be pretty great, wouldn't it?

- I'm serious.

Caleb and I will be witnesses,
I'll call an officiant.

We'll get you chain and
shackled beach style, do it.

- All five of us are gathered here today

to marry these two quicker
than a green card wedding.

Do you, Mike, take Ali to be your husband?

- I do.

- Do you, Ali, take
Mike to be your husband?

- Of course I do.

- I now pronounce you husband
and husband, kiss him!

Congratulations.

- How you feeling?
- It was a lot .

- That was good.

This is a good first step, Ben.

This is what life is about.

Trying stuff.

I'm crying because I got makeup in my eye.

- Yeah, I think I got some too.

- Well there was no bird, no birds.

- I guess not, although I
think I might've had diarrhea.

- No birds, no di, oh, diarrhea?

That's unfortunate.

Oh, he's smiling, he had fun.