Wedding in White (1972) - full transcript

[somber orchestral music]

[footsteps crunching]
[dog barking]

[door bangs open]
MAN: Hey Ma!

Where the hell are
ya, eh? [laughs]

Hey Ma!

Jimmie!

Oh, Jimmie, my boy.

Whoo! [laughing]

Jimmie, be careful.

Will you look at
her, she's still got

-an eye for the good lookers.
-Oh, Jimmie!



Ma, you're still the
only woman I'm gonna marry.

That's what I always used
to tell her, Billy.

[laughs]

Hey, ah ha ha ha ha!
[laughs]

Oh, my God, Jimmie.
[laughs]

Jimmie!

[Jimmie shouts]

How's it goin' there, meat?

-Where you been?
-Put her there, huh?

Billy boy, I want you
to meet the finest folks

in this here damn
town, my mom and dad.

This here's my mate, Billy.

He didn't have no place
to go on his leave

so I brought him home with me.



MARY: Well, I'm pleased
to meet ya, I'm sure.

JIM:
How are ya, son, how are ya?

You know what, Dad, the
boof didn't wanna come.

So I says, listen
here, any pal of mine

is always welcome in
my folks' home, huh?

That's right, I've
always told him that, Bill.

MARY: Yes,
any friend of Jimmie's

is always welcome here.
Come in, Billy.

And why don't we all come in?

What the devil are we doing
standing out here for?

[Jimmie laughs]

JIMMIE:
Well, I'll be gone to hell.

Did you guys see who's here?

Come over here, your
brother wants to see ya.

She's all grown up!

That's a kid sister, Billy.

I told you about her, didn't I?

Yeah, sure.

Well, come on over here
and let me see ya.

Hi Jimmie.
[giggles]

Well, hi yourself.

Now come on and give your
brother a big hug, huh?

[laughs]

Cat's got her tongue.
She's shy, that one.

Let me see ya.

Come on, say hello
to my mate, Billy.

Hello.

How ya doin', kid?

Kid? Hell, she ain't no kid
anymore, she's even

got a couple of plums
growing underneath there.

[everyone laughs]

Jimmie.

Oh, now Ma, she knows
I was only kiddin' her.

Hey?

I think I got somethin'
for you, dear.

Me?

Well, I don't know any
other Jeannies around here.

Sure enough, that's
what it says.

To Jeannie.

Gee, what is it?

Well, open it up and see.

Mom, I smell somethin'
good cookin'.

Billy boy, you just
sit yourself down

and make yourself at home.

This is gonna be your
home for a couple of days

and you act like it, see?

You do just like
he says, Billy.

Hey, you make yourself
right at home.

[Jimmie laughs]
I'm splittin', ya know.

Where's the head?

Oh!
[laughs]

Well, that way,
you see those stairs?

Straight up, the first
door on your right,

and she's there in your face.

You don't fall in, eh?

I'm takin' these things
up to the room, huh?

I'll give you a
hand there, a minute.

No, no, no, you sit down,
take the weight off your feet.

You must be weary
after that long ride.

Hungry too,
I'll bet.

Starvin', Mom, starvin'.

Well, it's only
gonna take me a minute

to put on the table.

[laughs]

Come on now, mate, let me give

-ya a hand there.
-No, I'm all right,

I'm all right, I'll manage.

Now, don't talk back to me,

I'm gonna have to take
you over my knee. [laughs]

I believe ya could, too.

Ya get bigger every
time I see ya.

Besides, ya don't think
I was gonna trust ya

all alone with this,
do ya, huh? [laughs]

We'll have us a fast
one before supper, eh?

[laughing]

[liquid splashing]

Hey, Billy boy!

That's a hell of a
waste of good beer.

Hey, don't shake
it more than twice

or you're playin'
with it. [laughs]

You're still the
same old kidder, eh?

You and Billy can
have your old room.

Jeannie can sleep downstairs.

Okay, Dad.

[Jimmie laughing]

[toilet flushes]

So the prostitute says,

"Yeah but you'll have to
sleep with my daughter, see."

The salesman says, "Yeah,
that'll be all right."

So, sure enough, that night
he goes up the stairs,

goes in the door...

Ya like it?

Pretty nice, huh?

Yeah.

Wait 'til I show Dolly this.

Who?

Dolly, she's my best friend.

She's got lots of
nice things like this.

You know, uh, if
ya like I can send ya

a couple more things like that.

Gee, yeah!

Boy'll that brown
her off. [chuckles]

Huh?

JEANNIE: Dolly, she's just
like that, that's all.

Doesn't like anybody havin'
somethin' she hasn't got.

I got one other brooch
that Mom gave me,

but you should see all
the stuff she's got.

Earrings, even a pearl necklace.

It ain't real, but it
sure looks pretty nice.

I tell ya what.

Why don't ya bring
her around, hm?

I'd like to meet her.

JEANNIE: You will, she's
gonna call on me later.

She'll probably start puttin'
on the dog for Jimmie.

She saw an old
picture of him once

and thinks he's real cute.

I got it in my wallet,
you wanna see it?

[sighs] Yeah, sure.

[Jimmie and Jim laughing]

I don't have very many.

You should see all she's got.

What are you doin' later?

Um, just fool around, I guess.

Yeah?

Well, um, maybe we
can do somethin', huh?

What?
[giggles]

Well, I don't know.

Ain't ya got any
shows around here?

Or, uh, scoff a few beer, maybe?

In a beer parlor?

BILLY: Well, it don't matter
to me, beer's beer.

My dad'd crown me.

Hell, good beer
never hurt nobody.

He don't like me
goin' out nowhere.

[chuckling]

Oh, you look pretty
grown up to me.

You know, um, you shouldn't wear

that thing there, come here.

I'll show ya where
to wear it, okay?

There we go, right there.

There, that's where
you should wear it, hmm?

Let me see.

Wear that mirror out

the way you're always
in front of it.

Could use a little
help, ya know.

Oh, didn't mean to
interrupt ya, Mr. Billy.

Oh, we were just talkin'.

Come on then, Jeannie,
give me a hand, dear.

Would you mind callin'
Jimmie and his dad, then?

I don't want it to get cold.

I expect you'll find them in
one of the bedrooms upstairs.

What do ya think
this is, a can opener?

Come on, then.

[laughing]

A can opener! [laughs]

[Jim coughs and laughs]

You know, the Mrs. said
to tell ya supper was ready.

The hell with guarding
them Krauts tonight.

We'll all go down to the legion.

We'll have a night.

We'll have us a night.
[laughs]

I'll say.
We'll have a good time, Dad.

Hey, Billy boy.

Show the old bear those
pictures you got there.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Hey, wait 'til ya
see these, Dad, huh?

There ya go, Pop.

What?

Oh.

[Billy clicks tongue]
[Jimmie laughs]

[men laughing]

JIM:
Well, that's just the trouble.

They're too easy on him.

They think we should treat them

like bloody royalty, they do.

Hurry up, Doog!

-No, so far as I'm concerned
-JEANNIE: Relax, eh?

-a prisoner of war
-Some people!

has got no bloody privileges.

JIM: They're nothin'
but a lot

of yellow bastards
that give up.

Old Dad's one of the
guards at the POW camp

cross town, Billy.

Oh.

JIM: Aye.

Over 4,000 men we
got in that camp.

4,000 men.

[chuckles]
Eh?

Mind ya it's not like bein'
in the regular service.

Don't I wish I was young enough.

Still, somebody's got
to look after 'em.

And I do my job well, and
though I do say it myself.

Yeah, it don't make
much sense to me, ya know.

Lookin' after a bunch
of bastards

you're
supposed to kill.

JIM: My very sentiment.
[chuckles]

They're clever little
buggers, ya know.

Hey.

I'm going to show you something

I'll wager you've
never seen before.

[Jimmie and Billy laugh]

Week's pay say she's
handled more meat

than a barracks
butcher, eh, buddy?

[laughing]

JIM: Aye, there it is.

[men laughing]

Here.

What do you think of that?

Well, I'll be gone to hell.

How 'bout that, eh Billy?

Geez, now how'd that
ship get in there?

That's real sharp, Pop.

Mind ya, it's very complicated

the way they do this, ya know.

They've got these
pieces of string--

Well, I'm on my way.

I hope that the supper
was good, Billy.

Oh, just fine, just fine.

Well, it wasn't
much, I'm afraid,

but it's so hard to
get things these days

with the war on and all.

Where ya goin', Ma?

Ain't you gonna come over
to the legion with us?

No, no, I've got to
go out for a few hours.

But I'll see ya when
you get home, son.

Okay, kid.

Jeannie, you clear
up for me now, hear?

JEANNIE: Yeah, yeah.

And don't you be
stayin' out late.

Well, bye-bye again.

Take care, kid.

Where's she goin' anyway, Dad?

Oh, she's got to help
out someone, ya know.

[dog barking]

Jesus Christ, didn't nobody
feed my blasted dog here?

What, you got a dog now?

Aye, ya see I figured it
was safer for your mother

with me at work so much.

Besides, we've had
one or two escapes

from yon prison camp.

Ah, ah.

It's called Rex.

Rex. [laughs] Rex.

Aye, that's the trouble,

nobody feeds the little bugger.

Well, ya gotta feed him, Dad.

Ya gotta feed him,
I'll tell ya that much.

[dog barking]

It's time to feed Rexie.

I haven't had him very long.

He still needs a little
trainin' up, ya know.

Well, just as long as
he knows who's the master

that's the main thing, huh, Dad?

Ah, he'll soon learn.

Hey, Rexie.
Rexie, hey.

Hey, come here.

Come here boy, come on.

[men laughing]

Rex, your dinner.

[Rex whines]

Look at the little
bugger. [laughs]

Make him do a trick, Dad.

[Rex barks]
[Jim mumbles]

Hey, hey, hey.

Gah!

[Jim laughs]
[Rex barks]

How's it goin'?

Okay, I guess.

Uh, yeah, um, Jeannie told me

you'd be comin' around tonight.

I'm Billy.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Jesus, Dougal, how
much longer ya gonna be?

[footsteps clomping on stairs]

Come on, quick.

Hey, um, where youse goin'?

I don't know.

Could be anywhere.

Yeah, well, maybe we
can meet ya later, huh?

Yeah, maybe, see ya.

Yeah, well, don't
forget now, huh?

[Rex barking]

Go ahead, sick him, sick him!

[slow accordion band music]

You know, I think
that Billy likes me.

Eh, get you.

Take a look at yourself
in the mirror sometime.

Yeah?

Well, if you think
you're so smart

he said he's gonna send
me some more things

like Jimmie brought.

What things?

Come on, eh, what things?

Hey, let me wear
it for a while, eh?

No, I just got it.

It's glass anyway.

It is not, it's rhinestones.

Well, it's glass.

Boy, you just
can't stand anybody

havin' somethin'
better than you.

Oh, listen, who cares
about your old brooch anyway?

Come on.

And don't go doin'
nothin' stupid tonight

like tellin' some
guy you're only 16.

[slow accordion band music]

[crowd applauds]

[upbeat accordion band music]

Yes sir, I've known Jimmie,

well me and his
father's been friends

since I can remember,
so I've known Jimmie

since he was a wee
laddie, a bairn.

Is that not right, Jimmie?

Aw, come on
Sandy, it musta been

before that, huh?
[laughs]

This boy's a kidder, always
been a kidder, yes sir.

Come on now, Sandy, drink up

or I'm gonna get
ahead of ya, now.

-Ah, now.
-Yeah, come on, Pop.

Come on now, I've
been here all day.

There's no way you'll
get ahead of me, no way.

Nobody can drink
Sandy under the table.

And ain't you the proud one.

Oh, God almighty.

Well, where's the fun of
sittin' drinkin' all the time?

Hey, Sandy, I think the
little lady wants a dance, huh?

How 'bout me, ma'am?

How 'bout it?

Aye, why not?

Come on, lad.

[laughs]
SANDY: There we go!

[out of tune piano music]

Aye, he's a good lad. [laughs]

Yeah, but he ain't
no freakin' dancer.

Hey, you should see my
old man dance, eh Fordy?

[laughing]

[men chattering]

Hey, mister.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.

Uh, now don't tell me, one date

at the post office
here with Dad, right?

[men laugh]

MAN: Aye, that's right.

Worked together with
your dad for years.

That's one thing, I
never forget a face.

Names, that's a
different story, though.

Yeah, that's one thing
I'll say for the boy,

he never forgets a face.

[woman muttering]

What are you doing here?

Never forget a
good screw either.

[laughing]

Hey, Jimmie, Jimmie.

You been over yet?

That's a different
story, that, yeah.

He's asked for active
duty a hundred times now.

They won't send him.

It's like that prick
of a sarge tells me,

he says, "Dougal," he
says, "You're the only guy

around this camp who knows
where the hell anything is."

-Yeah.
-Aye.

He's head of the
stores department

down at the cavalries.

Am I right, Billy?

Go on, tell 'em.

Yeah, yeah, Jimmie's
the boy, ya know.

Anything ya want,
a new duffle bag,

or a stinkin' pair of shoelaces.

He's the boy to do it for you.

You tell 'em, soldier.

I guess that's what I get
for doin' my job so well, eh?

Hey, now listen, listen.

Every job counts.

They'll give you a
chance in time, eh?

-Aye they will.
-Wait a minute,

wait a minute, wait a minute.

That's not what you
were gettin' at, was it?

Don't ya think it's important
the things I do, eh?

The crap that I
gotta put up with?

Come on now, Jimmie,

Stuart didn't mean
anything like that.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
let him speak for himself.

Okay, buddy boy,
if you're so smart,

then you tell me something.

Supposin' some guy wants a rifle

and I don't give it to
him, what happens then, huh?

What happens to him?

Well, I don't know.

Well, I'll tell ya what
happens to him, he's S.O.L.

That's shit out of luck.

Am I right, Billy?
You're goddamn right I'm right.

-Huh?
-Geez, that's a good one.

The boy's got a head
on his shoulders.

What's your name, honey?

I'm Billy.

That's a nice name.

My name's Mrs. Smith, but
my friends call me Hattie.

This is my old man Barney.

I bet you can't guess
what he does for a living.

Yeah, probably nothin'.

Who asked you?

Aw, piss off.

Come on, come on, you two.

What are you doing here anyway?

Just tryin' to be friendly.

Ah, horseshit.

Now get your arse outta here

and take your old
lady with ya, huh?

-We don't need no pikers
-Now hang on!

-around here.
-We got a right.

Get out!

[group shouting]

Get out! Go!

Ah, sure they'll
always fun ya.

I don't why the holer
let them in here.

This is supposed to be a
club for servicemen only.

Right.

I think they're a
good laugh. [laughs]

That one there.

Did you hear what he called me?
He called me a piker.

[upbeat piano music]

I told you to get out of here.

-Did you say that?
-Who the hell are you?

He didn't say nothin'.

You shut up.
I ain't talkin' to you.

Now, come on, come on.
I don't want any trouble.

He said it, Jock,
I was right here.

A piker he called me.

-Get out.
-I got money, see?

See? Yes sir!

Take your money
and get out of here.

-Okay, okay.
-Nobody can call Barney

-a piker.
-I'm tellin' ya--

You better watch who you're
callin' names, old man.

Listen, you want me to turn
the boy on you? [chuckles]

Come on, Jimmie.

Okay, then.

Come on outside, then.

[men and women shouting]

Come on!

You're chicken livered!

[thumping accordion band music]

[girls giggling]

♪ Will you love me ♪

♪ When I'm old and gray ♪

♪ When this heart of mine ♪

♪ Grows tired and weary ♪

♪ Will you love
me as you do today ♪

♪ When our children all
grow up and leave us ♪

♪ To have sweet
families of their own ♪

♪ Will you still be
happy with me, darlin' ♪

♪ Will you still be
happy in our home ♪

Say, uh, okay we sit here?

It's a free country.

Yeah, free country.

[short soldier laughs]

Charlie? [laughs]

-Yup.
-Yup.

I don't think
the girls like us.

[laughing]

I wonder how come?

[laughing]
Yup, yup.

I'll give ya three guesses
and the first two don't count.

You, you dirty rat, you.

[laughing]

Oh brother.

Hey, that's great.

Come on, do the ones
from the radio, Ralph.

Holy smokes, hey there.

Call the police.

[laughing]

Rochester, get the Maxwell.

[laughing]

TALL SOLDIER: Jack Benny!

[car engine humming]

I said it.

You got old Jimmie's
word for it.

And if I say it,
it's the God's truth.

Isn't that right, Billy?

-Huh?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sure, that son of a bitch.

Jimmie, forget it, will ya?

I've always said it
and I'll say it again,

there's not anything
worth gettin' yourself

into a fight over.

Then why don't ya shut your
goddamn mouth, then, huh?

Come on, Jimmie.

This is your friend, Sandy.

I did not mean any harm by it.

Aye, son, that's
no way to talk.

Yeah, well, the
old bugger's been

goin' on about it
all goddamn night.

Wanna fight with me, Sandy, huh?

-Hey, Jim.
-Is that it, eh?

-Jimmie.
-Huh?

[men shouting]

Come on you...

Don't know what to do, boy?

Don't know what to do?

All right!

Get him up, Billy.

I'm okay.

I'm okay.

Will ya listen to me?

Listen, Dad, you
wanna know somethin'?

Wanna know why I didn't kick
the crap outta that guy?

'Cause that's all
it would've meant.

It would've been
the end right there.

I would've come all the way
home just to see you and mom

and they would've
threw me in the jug.

Is that what ya wanted, Dad?

I know, I know, I know.
Come on, come on, son.

Look, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

JIM: Go on, Billy.

Get the lad
up to bed, Billy?

Hey Sandy.

Sandy, you're not goin',

you're not goin' are ya?

Listen, I know the laddie's
had too much to drink and,

he'd never behave like this

if he was sober,
I guarantee that.

I know, I know.

Look here, Jim.

You and I have always
been friends, all right?

Aye.

Friends.

Aye, friends.

Best friend I ever had.

Aye, aye.

Ah, goodbye, Sandy.

[car engine starts]

Oh, Billy.

Gee, I never seen the lad
behave like that before.

Now listen, you're his friend.

Have ya ever seen him
behave like that before?

Aw, he's a good head,
Jimmie, a good head.

Sure.

Well, I ought to know,
I'm the lad's father.

No, I figure I've
had enough, eh.

I better go and see
if he's all right.

Yeah, okay.
Goodnight, Pop.

And, uh, don't worry
about Jimmie, huh?

He's 100%.

Yeah, 100%.

[bottle cap pops]

[girls giggling]

[laughing]

DOLLY:
You shoulda seen the two goons

that followed us home,
eh, Doog?

Yeah.

Have ya ever seen
Mutt and Jeff in person?

[girls laugh]

Just a couple
of guys you met?

DOLLY: Met?

We did everything we
could not to meet 'em.

They just couldn't
leave us alone.

Everywhere we went
they were sure to go,

wagging their tails behind them.

[girls giggle]

And her!

"Pleased to meet you."

Honestly, Doog.

Well, they paid for our
coffee and stuff, didn't they?

Besides I can't be like you.

You should see her, Billy!
She tells the guy that...

[laughs] Well, I
can't say, but boy.

Oh come on,
what'd she say, hmm?

Go ahead, tell him.

Oh no, not me.

What did I tell ya
about startin' things

ya can't finish, eh?

[Jeannie laughs]

Anyways, I told him to...

Well, come on, whatcha say?

You know, you
shouldn't be so curious.

It killed the cat.

You know what I mean?

[girls giggle]

What's so funny about that?

Okay, then.

What's something

you've got

that I haven't got?

[chuckles] Well
now, uh, let me see.

That's an open
question, isn't it?

Bad breath.

[Jeannie giggles]

Very funny.

Oh, come on, don't
be such a sore head.

It's just a joke
you play on guys.

You want a beer?

Beer, yuck!

How 'bout you, hmm?

Gee, I...

I can't.

I used to know a guy
who could take down

a whole bottle without stoppin'.

Shit.

That's easy.

Watch this.

[gulping]
[Jeannie giggling]

He was an idiot, too.

[giggling]

Boy, I bet if I hit you
in the gut right now,

bam, beer all over
the place.

[chuckles]

Try.

Are you kidding?

Come on!

[fist thuds]
[Billy grunts]

There see, can't hurt me.

Jesus, I hurt my knuckle
on one of those buttons.

Ah, hurt yourself
instead, huh?

Eh, you'll be all right.

I thought I'd put
some cold water on it.

Come on, Doog.

[chuckling]

[girls whispering]

DOLLY: Go on, I said!

She wants you to go in there.

[blows smoke]

[Dolly giggling]

I'm still here, you know, Dolly.

And I'm stayin' down
here tonight, too, so...

[Dolly giggling]

[Billy breathes heavily]

[both groaning]

Okay, okay, sonny,
hands above the belt, eh!

What's wrong, huh?
[slap]

[Billy grunting]
[Dolly sighs]

I said quit it!

Come on, you know
you're gonna come across.

You been waitin' for
it all day.

[grunts]

I'm gettin' outta
here, you're nuts.

You little cock teaser!

Ah, get you.

You touch me, you
son of a bitch,

and I'll yell so
loud this whole house

will be awake in
one second flat.

[Billy groans and
breathes heavily]

Well, nothin' happened
in there, ya know.

We were just kiddin'
around a bit.

You, uh, you sleepin' down here?

Yeah.

You and Jimmie are
sleepin' in my room.

Oh, yeah, I guess it's
gettin' kinda late, huh?

Well, I guess everybody's
asleep upstairs, huh?

Guess so.

Hey, don't tell 'em what
time I came home, eh?

Oh, nah, nah.

You know that, uh, Dolly
isn't very much, ya know.

Hell, you're prettier
than she is, even.

Are you kidding?

All the fellas go after her.

Eh.

You know, you got beautiful
long blonde hair, hmm?

All ya have to do
is fix it up a bit

the way the grownups do, hmm?

You know, curl it
up the way women do?

[chuckles]

Yeah, well,
um, you go to bed, huh?

And I'll turn out the
lights on the way up, okay?

Goodnight, then, huh?

'Night, Billy.

[light switch clicks]

Yeah, goodnight.

You don't want me to
go up there, do ya?

What do you mean?

You know what I mean.

What are--
what are you doing?

Now, come on,
don't act dumb, hmm?

[whimpering]

No, please don't do that.

[Jeannie whimpers]
[Billy grunts]

Now come on, you stupid
bitch!

[breathes heavily]

[Jeannie whimpers and cries]

[Billy groans]

[Billy grunts and
breathes heavily]

[Jeannie cries]

[breathing heavily]

[Jimmie vomiting]

[birds chirping]

[suspenseful orchestral music]

[door clicks]

[liquid splashing]

[toilet flushes]

[door clicks]

Hey.
[Jimmie grunts]

Come on, ya bastard, wake up.

What's the matter?
Huh, what's the matter?

Aw, shit!

Somebody puked all over my bed!

Look, listen
Jimmie, we gotta go.

JIMMIE:
Aw, Christ, it's all over me.

Shh, for Christ sakes,
you wanna wake everybody up?

We gotta go.

I just can't up
and leave the old man

and old lady like that, ya know?

We just got here yesterday.

Okay, suit yourself.

Ya wanna hang around the
house with your folks?

Well, I'm pissin' off, man.

JIMMIE: All right, all right,
hang on for a minute, will ya?

The goddamn sun
ain't even up yet.

[footsteps click on the stairs]

Now look, I know
you're not asleep.

Now you just better keep
your mouth shut, ya hear?

I mean, if you tell anybody,
I'll know and I'll be back.

Okay?

[footsteps thud on the stairs]

This damn uniform's gonna
stink for a week from this crud.

Come on, keep quiet, let's go.

Where in the Christ
are we gonna get a bus

-this time of the morning?
-Come on!

[somber orchestral music]

[rain patters]

One thing, gentlemen, you
forgot to write down here

that is that it was a
pleasure, gentlemen.

Always was.

Well, how do I look?

MARY:
Aw, it's very becomin', Jim.

Must've shrunk the blazer
a bit at the cleaners,

it's a tight fit.

Bloody thing's always
catchin' lint, too.

MARY: Did ya prepare a
thank you speech?

I said it before, I'll not
be makin' any fancy speeches.

I'll say thank
you and that's it.

Oh, Jim, ya must
say somethin'.

Now, look here, did I ask 'em
to give me any blinkin' award?

Did I now?

Well, I hope not.

It wouldn't be me if
I said anything else.

My boys know me as a
man of simple tastes.

Want to express
themself the same way

[knocking on the door]

Well, it seems a shame--

No, that's it.

That's the way it's gonna be.

MARY: Sarah, come in,
come in, you're soaked.

Oh my goodness, where've
you gotten all these things?

SARAH: I made three dozen
cookies this afternoon

and the rest is mostly
sandwiches

for the dart tournament.

[cash register dings]

Hey, did ya hear
about that job?

Nah.

I don't like addin'
up money and stuff.

Just don't like
doin' it, that's all.

Yeah, I know.

My dad says if I don't get a
job soon he's kickin' me out.

Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Besides, he hasn't
got any room to talk.

Every time I see the old fart

he's just sittin' there
with a gut full of beer.

Hey.

You should get a job here.

Look at all the wiz
things you could pinch.

But Jeannie wouldn't do that.

She's chicken.

I am not.

[cash register dings]

[purse clasp clicks]

Well, I don't like
any of these things.

I'm gonna get somethin' else.

[cash register dings]

Dougal, you wait up or else!

[baby crying]

Oh boy, talk about an ignoramus.

I mean, why didn't
ya just stand there

and yell it to everybody?

Did everybody see me?

No.

Boy, what a jerk!

Well, what'd you get?

Nothin'.

Nothin'?

Aw, brother, you're a
mental case, ya really are.

Come on.

Ya gotta smarten up, Dougal.

You're scared of
your own shadow.

No wonder no one'll
give ya a job.

I dunno.

Maybe I'll get ya on at the
cannery with me in the spring.

Ya think ya could?

I don't know, maybe.

Yuck!

[sighs] I gotta get
some money somewhere

if I'm goin' to the
States to see my sister.

Come on, eh? How you
gonna move down there?

Listen, my
brother-in-law told me

to come and see 'em any time.

And is he ever cute, too.

And he's got a
real terrific job

in one of the defense plants.

He treats me real swell,
which bugs my sister.

Is he the one...

Father, uncle, cousin, kid.

You shouldn't go
there, then, Dolly.

Oh, geez, Dougal, when
are you gonna learn?

All guys want that.

Ya just gotta decide who you're
givin' and who you're not.

Anyways, he gave me 10
bucks not to tell my sister.

Ya know, that's your
trouble, Dougal.

Ya never try nothin'.

After the first time,
pfft.

But you'll never know
'cause you're gutless.

I am not.

Oh, yes you are.

You got a yellow streak right
down the middle of your back.

Well, if you think
you're so smart,

I could tell you somethin', too.

What?

What, what, what?

Dougal.

Okay, Dougal, you asked for it.

[Jeannie crying]

Okay, are you gonna tell me?

[hocks a loogie]

How'd ya like a
nice big juicy one?

Well, you're such a slut.

What?

[slap]

Okay, are ya gonna tell
me or do you want more?

I've already done it if
you think you're so smart.

With who?

JEANNIE: [crying] None
of your business.

Dougal!

With who, I said?

[crying] Last summer, with
Billy who came with my brother!

Let go!

That creep?

He is not a creep!

He liked me, so I let him.

So there!

He tried to get
me first, ya know!

[dog barking]

[crying]

[suspenseful orchestral music]

There's a fella sitting
out there with you

whom we all think
a great deal of.

As on many previous occasions,

he's put a lot of
hard work and time

to ensure the success of
tonight's proceedings.

We here at the 54th
would like to show him

our appreciation with
a wee presentation.

Some of you visitors
won't know him,

although it wouldn't surprise
me if you've heard of him.

In any event, after
tonight, I can assure you

you won't forget him, 'cause
he's a top notch bowler

and a triple threat at
darts, our own Jim Dougal.

Come up here, Jim.

[crowd cheers and applauds]

What have ya got to say
for yourself, Jim Dougal?

[men laugh]

That'll be enough
from you, Tommy Evans.

I want to thank, uh, all
you gentlemen and ladies.

[stammering]It's always nice
to see our women folk here.

This here is a real nice
plaque that ya give me

and I intend to hang it
somewhere in my house

where youse can all see it.

Well, where else
would ya hang it, Jim?

[crowd laughs]

Aye, where else
would ya hang it?

It says...

It says, "To Jim,
a jolly good fellow

"for his devotion
and untiring efforts

from all at the 54th."

I think, uh, Mr. Campbell

omitted to mention
something here, though.

He, uh--
he omitted to add that, uh,

that it was a
pleasure, gentlemen,

always has been
and always will be.

Thank you, thank you.

[crowd cheers and applauds]

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow
for he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a
jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ For he's a
jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a
jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a
jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

[crowd cheers and applauds]

[Jim and Sandy
singing drunkenly]

[Jim and Sandy laughing]

[singing "I've Got Sixpence"]

♪ I've got no pence ♪

♪ Jolly, jolly no pence ♪

♪ I've got no pence ♪

♪ To last me all my life ♪

♪ I got no pence to lend ♪

♪ I have no pence to spend ♪

♪ And no pence to
take home to my wife ♪

♪ Poor wife ♪

[laughing]

Fools, that's what ya are.

I was pretty sure
we'd be arrested.

I need more than
a couple of police

to take care of infantry
men like us, eh?

Am I right, Sandy?

That's for sure, I'll tell ya.

You shout like that, Sandy.

Well, I'm in
there for a month.

Can't sing about
when he's happy.

What is he?

Lucky, that's what, or nothin'.

You're disgustin'.

Aye, and you show me
anyone who says different

and I'll show you a
son of a bitch liar.

Is there any one of them police

as could do their job
like Sandy and me does?

It's enough for them
to keep their eye

on just one prisoner.

Sandy and me's been
trained to guard

a whole camp with
thousands in it.

Every one of them a hundred
times more dangerous

than someone who's broke into,

broke into a shop or something.

Aye, aye, aye, and people.

People should be more worried.

Tonight they won the
whole of the last war

and now they're gonna make
short work of this one.

[laughs] Aye.

There she is.

By golly, if she doesn't get
prettier every time I see her.

Would ya not have a kiss
for old Sandy, lassie?

Sandy behave yourself.

I guess I'm not the
handsome bear I used to be,

but if I was a few years younger

I could give some lad
a run for his money.

Hey, Jim? [laughs]

Aye, ya could, Sandy.

Aye, ya could.

Mother, have ya got
a couple of ales

in the fridge for me and Sandy.

Oh, now Jim, I don't think
you should be havin' any more.

Have some tea instead, why not?

You know, it's true, Jeannie.

I was a real teller in France.

Old Sandy here, if
you'll believe it.

Were you?

Aye.

Old Sad Eyes Sandy
they used to call me,

'cause that's what the women
used to like was my sad eyes.

[laughs] Aye.

♪ I dream of Jeannie
with the light brown hair ♪

♪ Da da da die
die die ♪

[chuckles]

Ya don't mind old Sandy
singin' a wee bit, do ya?

I don't care.

Come on, don't be
makin' a fool of yourself.

That's why I'm, and I know
it, a fool that I never married

and had a family of
my own, a little girl.

Oh, good grief.

Do ya not remember when
you was a wee one, lassie,

and you used to sit on my lap
and curl up to old Sandy, eh?

You were always
givin' me kisses then.

Just a wee one, eh?

Oh, who the hell are ya pushin'?

Keep your bloody
hands to yourself.

The ship will not run
dry tonight, eh Sandy?

Oh, glory be,

let me give you a
hand, man. [laughs]

You're not gonna be
drinkin' more are ya?

Oh, please Jim,
I wish ya wouldn't.

Since when can't a man
have a few quiet drinks

with a friend in his own house?

Aw, Jim, don't get showy
like that in front of me.

Jeannie here, just
a young lassie.

You'll have regrets tomorrow.

Hello, boy!

Let's go down in the cellar

where we won't disturb
these [mumbles] folk.

[Sandy laughs]

Hey, you're a lucky
man, Jimmie Dougal.

You're own house, a fine wife,

and a lovely,
beautiful daughter.

[Rex barks]

Aye, and a dog, too. [laughs]

[grunts disgustedly]
Always ends up

with too much drinkin'.

Oh, I like a pint or two myself,

now and then, you
know, but this?

Oh, it's men's ways, Sarah.

Sit yourself down.

I just made us a pot
of tea, we can have

a nice chat of our
own without them.

Jeannie, will you put
out some cups, love?

I have scads of things
to tell ya, Sarah.

You'll not guess
who's gettin' married.

Joe and Molly's girl.

That wee bit of a thing,
she's no more than 19.

Aye, they seem to be growing
up a lot faster these days.

I guess it's the war's
got to do with it.

[giggles] They sure are
funny when they drink.

Especially Sandy and
everything he said.

Listen to him.

Aye, they never can
seem to hold their tongues

once they got the drink in 'em.

You shouldn't pay him too much

attention when he
gets like that.

See, old men, they like
flatterin' young girls

with a lot of sweet talk, but
it don't mean nothin' to 'em.

Well, here we are.

Oh, you shoulda seen
it all, Jeannie.

It was so nice.

You know, I daresay
I was attached

and near came to tears
two or three times.

All the clappin' and the cheers.

Well, I knew
your dad was liked,

but I never knew that much.

Did they give anything away?

MARY: Uh-huh, Elsie
won the door prize.

Oh, it was a nice lamp, too.

Oh my, that feels good.

You know, there's
nothing like a wee cup

of tea when ya need relaxation.

I thought my poor old legs was
gonna give out on me tonight.

I'm a bit weary myself, Mary.

MARY: It's the veins.

You know, I should
go to the doctor, but...

Eh, he'd only want me
to go in the hospital

and it costs so much money.

[Jim and Sandy laughing
loudly downstairs]

[Rex barking]
It's not right, ya know.

Oh, Sarah, let them be.

I guess they got good cause
for celebratin' tonight.

My Harry were alive, he
wouldn't be down there.

He was a gentleman, Mary.

That's what he was, a
gentleman, God bless him.

MARY:
Aye, he was a fine man.

You know, I don't know
what I'd have done

if I'd lost Jim in the war.

It's been hard for
you livin' alone

all these years, eh Sarah?

It wasn't so bad when
my Betty was with me,

but she's got a
family of her own now.

Aye, there've been times
when I've been that lonely.

Well, a body has to go on and
manage best they can, though.

Here, let me fill
ya up again, Sarah.

Oh, no thank ya, Mary.

I must be on me way if I'm
going to catch that last bus.

But you're not goin'
on the bus, are ya?

Get Sandy to drive ya.

Oh, he won't be in any
condition for drivin' a car.

Besides, once he starts
singin' and drinkin'

he's settled in for the night.

No, I don't feel like
waitin' around for hours.

I'm gonna get me purse and coat.

Sarah, it's a bitter night.

If you won't call him, I will.

Sandy, Sarah's leavin' now.

[Jim and Sandy
singing drunkenly]

Take yourself another
sweater, then.

Jeannie.

Oh, Mary, I'm fine,
don't be fussin'.

No, it's damp out tonight.

You just slip it on, now.

And don't you be tellin' me.

I ride them buses enough to know
the heat is no good in them.

It's all right if you get
a seat away from the door.

Bye-bye, Jeannie,
take care of yourself.

[crickets chirping]

Well, I'll be
callin' ya, Sarah.

Will ya be goin' to the church
for bingo on Wednesday?

Aye, I will.

Aye, well, bye-bye, Mary.

Goodnight, then.

Aye, it's turned even colder.

I do hope she'll not
have long to wait.

Why does Mrs.
McCarver walk like that?

She had a bad fall
when she was younger.

Husband was very drunk one
night and he beat her up.

He doesn't remember it, though.

But those aren't things
for your ears, young lady.

You know, you're not much of
a help to your old mother.

Turn out the parlor lights
now, and get yourself to bed.

[Jim and Sandy laughing
and chattering downstairs]

Where did these come from?

Jeannie, did you
put these there?

Why were you looking
at yourself like that?

You won't tell Dad?

Tell him what?

I think I'm in trouble.

A baby.

[Mary gasps]

You've been with a man?

I didn't want to.

He put his hand over my face
and I could hardly breathe

and I was scared.

Oh, God in heaven.

Who was he?

It was that Billy.

Jimmie's friend.

[crying]
It was so fast.

He was on top of me and
then I started to cry

and then it was...

[Mary sobbing]

[Jeannie crying]

[Jim and Sandy
singing drunkenly]

♪ With lily white
tits and golden hair ♪

♪ Inky pinky parlez-vous ♪

[Jim and Sandy laughing]

♪ The German officers
crossed the Rhine ♪

♪ Parlez-Vous ♪

[Sandy snoring]
[dishes clattering]

RADIO: Now tell me, what
was their reaction

to General Montgomery's
message, the one in which

he told them there were
more battles ahead?

Well, the average-trained,

experienced fighting
soldier's reaction--

[Jim coughing]

in this war is the same.

He says, "Right, left,
over, let's get on

with the next step."

Oh, my God.

[gasping and coughing]

Who the hell's in there?

JEANNIE:
I'll be out in a second.

Well, hurry up, your
old dad's in a bad way.

MARY: Is that you, Jim?

Aye.

Well, it's early.

You've only been
to bed a few hours.

Try and get some more
sleep, why don't ya?

Aye.
[groaning]

I just only went in there.

Get down here,
I must talk to ya.

What for, it's so early?

Get down here, I said!

RADIO: There was an expert
Italian observer.

We may know the answer to
the question very soon.

Britain's Minister
of Production--

[floor boards squeak]

I've not slept a
wink the whole night.

Jeannie, are ya sure?

Nothin's happened
for three months.

Don't ya be smug.

You realize the
trouble you're in?

Yes.

How many other men
have ya been with?

None.

Well, that's filth, do
you understand that, filth?

JIM: If I can't sleep any more,
you can start the breakfast.

God down, we'd not last long.

What am I gonna tell him?

RADIO:
The heart of the Axis

in Europe is a possible target.

[radio switch clicks]

[laughs] Has Sandy
not moved yet, Tip?

Best not wake him, Jim.

Well, the old bugger
will have a hell

of a head on him this
morning, I'll wager.

I'll say one thing
for that man.

He can be flat on his
back from the booze

but he'll not pass out.

I'll have it for
ya in a second, Jim.

Where you goin'?

Upstairs.

God almighty, you'd
think a man could have

a wee bit of pleasure
without payin' such a price.

MARY:
A bit under are ya?

Aye.

You should know when to stop.

I know!

I know.

Well, here's your porridge,
eat it while it's hot.

I'll start your eggs.

Turn 'em over,
I don't want 'em

lookin' at me this morning.

What time are you on duty?

Not until noon.

That was a good evenin',
though, wasn't it, Tip?

I mean, I think it
went off all right.

Everyone seemed to
have a good time.

Aye, it was lovely.

Tommy Dawson was sayin' that

he thought it was
one of the best, um,

occasions they've
had in a long while.

He was even hinting
around that I might think

of taking a more active
interest in the planning

and arranging of some
of the functions myself.

They could use some changes.

[chuckles]
Aye.

[coughs]

That is very well and true.

Did my thank you speech
go off all right?

Aye, you were fine, Jim.

Now, that's the
part I don't like.

I don't mind when
it's just my boys,

but when there's
strangers present, oh...

and ladies.

I don't go much on
that stuff myself.

So, I think if they ask me again

I'll make that clear
right from the beginning.

No speech makin'.

You're not eating.

No.

Jim, I'm afraid that
somethin's happened.

I canna find the
words to tell ya.

Huh?

It's to do with Jeannie.

Oh, what about her?

Well, come on, Tip.

Come on, what is it?

She's in trouble.

My Jeannie.

She's pregnant, Jim.

Where is she?

Oh Jim, before you,

please Jim, listen first.

Jim, please, what
are ya gonna do?

I want to hear it from her.

MARY:
Well, it wasn't her fault.

JIM:
Let her tell it!

Jeannie!

Jeannie!

Come down, dear.

What's this your
mother tells me?

I'm sorry.

You little bitch!

[Jeannie whimpering]

A filthy, bloody slut.
[slapping]

Jim, Jim, stop it!

I'll show ya
what I think of ya.

-Jim!
-Ya slut.

In the name of
God, Jim, please!

Where's my belt?

[Mary crying]

Sandy! God, Sandy,
stop him!

What is it?
What's happenin'?

He'll kill her, he'll
kill her, you've gotta

-Jim!
-stop him, please!

SANDY: Jim!

Oh, Jeannie.
[crying]

SANDY: For God's sake, man,
what are ya doin', man?

What is then?

Come on, now.

-Get out of my way.
-Jim!

-Get out of my way!
-Jim!

-Jim!
-Let go.

Come to your senses!

Get out, get out,
get out, get out!

-Jim!
-Where are ya, whore?

Jim, for God's sake.

-Ya whore!
-For God's sake.

Jim, do ya not hear me, man?

[mumbles], damn it!

Jim!

Get out.

Jim.

Jim, do you not hear me, man?

[Sandy shouting]

God damn it, open
this bloody door!

-Jim!
-Open the bloody door!

You'll not hit her again.

Jim, Jim, you'll
not hit her again.

I say I'll call the
police to help me.

God damn it, you
don't understand.

I've got a whore
for a daughter.

I'm disgraced.

[Jeannie crying]

Shh, Jeannie, shh.

Shh.

[rain pattering]

[somber orchestral music]

I'd best take
Jeannie up somethin'.

You know, she prepared nearly
the whole supper for me tonight?

Cleaned up the house real
nice, too, don't ya think?

Can be a great help to
me when she wants to be.

Could I not ask her
to come down now, Jim?

I don't want to
see the likes of her.

Have ya nothin'
in your heart, Jim?

She can come
down when I finish.

You must still
love her some, Jim,

no matter what's happened.

You don't really want
her to go away, I hope.

I'm a man of my word.

But where?

That's her bloody
worry, not mine.

But she's only 16, she's
never been away from us.

Where could she possibly go?

She's been around a lot
more than we imagined, huh?

[chuckles] Regular little
woman of the world.

MARY: That's not so.

She never even so much
as had a boyfriend

all through school.

Mary, I know the kind of women

that take up with
men the way she did.

It's in 'em and there's nothing
you can do about her.

In the army we used
to call 'em sluts.

Oh, Jeannie's not like that.

I brought her up the
best way I knew how.

Believe in God and what's good.

There's somethin' I'll
tell ya, oh I had my eye

on that one for a while now.

I could see the
makings of a tramp.

Struttin' around in them
high heels with her tits

stickin' out, plasterin' all
that red shit on her face.

And this man, does
he get no blame?

What woman doesn't know?

When she's away in
the dark with a man

and he's feelin' her all over.

I knew she wasn't the brightest

but I never took her
to be a bloody fool.

She's not too
bright, but she's good.

She could love and make
a fine home for some man.

Oh, love is it now?

Like in the
movie pictures, eh?

With all the fine music
and all. [chuckles]

No man would touch her now.

Wasn't much different
with you and me, Jim.

What do you mean?

You took me before we was wed.

There was a hell of a lot of
difference, let me tell you!

I was but 16,
just like Jeannie.

I was workin' for the Kerr
family then, remember?

They'd all gone out that
night, you come over.

It was just the two of
us in that big house.

I knew that you
wanted me that way,

but I knew it wasn't right.

I tried, but I couldn't stop ya.

I don't remember that.

Well, I understood, I
wanted to be good to ya,

but I just didn't want
it there like that.

Women do dream that there'll
really be fine music,

like in the pictures and
everything will be wonderful.

How I cried afterwards,
prayed to God

a thousand times to forgive me.

That was a hell of
a long time ago, Tip.

Why do you twist
everything around?

To make me out to be
no better than he is?

We don't even know who
the son of a bitch is.

Could be a bloody Chink
or a Wop for all I know.

There's plenty of difference.

[coughs]

You made me pregnant,
though, didn't ya?

Yes!

I made ya pregnant and I
bloody well married ya.

I'll not let ya send
Jeannie away, Jim.

You will not let me?
And what is it you will do?

I want her to stay
here and have her baby.

You what?

Oh look, Jim, I've
thought about it.

After she's had the baby
she can get herself a job

and I can look after it
while she's away workin'.

Are you daft?

It would be somethin' for me.

You've got the service
and Jeannie's young

with her whole life
ahead of her, yet.

I'd look after it and I'd
care for it real well, Jim.

Aye, you could wheel
it down the street

and say, "Good morning,
Mrs. Brown, how do you think

our wee bastard
is lookin' today?"

But it would still be
Jeannie's, a warm little baby.

I want it.

JIM: The hell with it!

I never want to be reminded of

the shame that she
brought on this house.

It was that Billy
who brought it!

That's a lie and you know it!

Jimmie's friend's a soldier.

A man of honor.

I'll not understand
that I guess.

Honor.

A wee baby.

[record needle playing record]

[bagpipe music]

[Jim coughing]

[knocking on the door]

[laughing]

♪ Just a wee [mumbles] ♪

♪ Just to meet her
up the shoal ♪

Hey, Jimmie!

Ho ho!

Come on and wake up, dear boy.

Well, now, what ya got here?

How now, brown cow?

Oh, Sandy is it?

Aye, it's your old buddy
Sandy, that's who it is.

I must have dozed
off, that's what I did.

That's what ya did, all right.

I'll bet that's what ya did.

I seen the light still
on, and I says to meself,

is that my friend Jim's house?

Yup, I says.

Well, what's he doin'
up at this hour, I ask.

Well, I don't know, I says.

There might be
something wrong, says I,

so I better come in and
see and there ya were,

just like that when I came in.

No, I just dozed
off, that's all.

Aye.

Well, go on, help yourself.

Aye, I don't mind if I do.

JIM: At the club, were ya?

No. [laughs]

Well, not on duty.

No.

Well, come on.

I was looking after
Sarah tonight, I was, aye.

Well, she's a good woman.

My very words,
Jimmie, my very words.

She made up a hell of a
fine dinner, too, she did.

A meal fit for a
king.

[chuckles]

Is she any good
in the bed? [laughs]

Hey?

Aw, how could ya think
it of me, Jimmie?

Come on, you old bugger.

She's been without her
husband for a while.

I reckon she'd do a good time.

[laughs] Like it
was her very last.

-♪ What she's got for me ♪
-Oh no.

♪ And I can't eat it
for my tea ♪

♪ But we can take it
up to bed ♪

♪ Cause I can do
it 'til I'm dead ♪

[laughing]

Hey, let me say she's
as appreciated as hell.

We'll put it that
way, eh? [laughs]

Travers, you could
fall into your shithouse

and come up covered in diamonds.

[laughing]

I don't know where
you get your strength.

Still screwin' at your age, huh?

SANDY:
[laughs] Aye.

Right.
Right, now listen.

I can give them women anything
them green laddies can.

-[Jimmie mumbles]
-And a lot longer, too.

And I'm not the man of
principle that we was, Jimmie.

I mean, you take that
rat's ass that did

wee poor Jeannie, and
then up and deserts her,

a fine soft young
girl like that.

You can not call that a man,
now can ya, eh?

I don't know where I--
where I went wrong.

Also did my best to be
a good husband and father.

Aye, you've done well.

No I've not, I fear.

Oh now listen, there's
not a better man anywhere

what I know and anybody
that says different

has got to account to me.

-Here, let me fill ya up.
-Aye.

[gulps] Ah!

There should be some kind
of laws or somethin'.

It's not right.

-Aye.
-SANDY: Aye.

Aye.

Maybe, maybe you could find
a husband for her somewhere.

Aye, that's what ya
gotta do, Jimmie.

That's what you got to do.

Who the hell
would touch her now?

Well, if I was a few years
younger, I sure as hell would.

She's a fine looking lassie.

[laughs and coughs]

I would, I would.

A wee wife and little ones is
somethin' I've always wanted

but it's never been found
to happen that way for me.

There's no finer lassie.

Just because she's
been taken advantage of

doesn't alter the fact that
she's bred from real good stock.

And don't I know it,
and that's what counts.

Aye.

It's with kindness
that you're speakin' now.

Ah, no, Jeannie's a lovely,

well, I mean, any man
would be honored, I've said.

But the lass has
a mind of her own,

she'd no want the likes
of an old man like me.

She's young.

Aye, young and soft.

[whispering] Aye.

Well, I'll be gone to hell.

I believe you're serious, man.

Oh, forgive me,
Jim, forgive me.

It's just that I'd cut
off my right arm

if I thought it would
help ya in any way.

A friend indeed.

Here's to our friendship.

Aye, thank ya, Jimmie.
[chuckling]

Jeannie!

SANDY: Oh, Jim, don't go
wakin' the missus and all.

Jeannie!

[light switch clicks]

Drink up, my friend.

Put on the Victrola,
let's have some music.

What is it, Jim?

Go wake the girl
and bring her down.

-But why, Jim?
-Do what I say, Tip.

And tell her to
brush her hair a bit.

[men laughing]

[bagpipe music]

Hey, hey, hey. [laughs]

What's so funny, Jimmie?

I was just thinkin', if
you were to marry my Jeannie,

[laughs]
you'd be my son-in-law.

[laughing]

Hey, and you'd be
me father-in-law!

[laughing]

Jeannie, you gonna lend
me a hand here or not?

Uh-huh.

[exhales] Now, if we was
to make some new curtains

and Sandy don't
mind paintin' a bit.

The good Lord shoulda give
me another pair of hands,

I don't know how I'll
get it all done in time.

Be different after
you're married, ya know.

I'll not be pickin' up
after the two of ya.

[knocking on door]

[sighs]
Who can that be?

Oh, Sarah, you look fancy.

Come in, come in.

Hello, Mary.

You know, I was just sayin'
to myself in the kitchen

I must call Sarah
one of these days.

Been nearly two
weeks now, hasn't it?

Here, let me have your coat.

Thank you, Mary.

I've only dropped
by for a minute.

Hello, Jeannie.

Hello, Mrs. McCarver.

MARY: Now, I think it's
turned colder, don't you?

Either that or my
blood's gettin' thinner.

Just in time for
a cup of tea, Sarah.

Oh, like I say, I
can only stay a minute.

I just dropped in to
see if you'd heard

the news about poor Mrs. Black.

MARY: No, I didn't.

What happened to her?

SARAH:
Had another attack, she did.

Oh, how bad is it?

Oh, she's no strength at all.

Doctor says she's
not to leave her bed.

MARY: Well, I'll take
her some broth.

I'll look in on her
over the weekend,

see if there's
anything needs doin'.

She's too old to look
after herself anyway.

Aye, age is an unkind thing.

I'm glad that ya told me.

Poor thing.

Jeannie, will you
fix the kettle, love?

Oh really, I can't stay, Mary.

Oh, nonsense, you
can't be leavin'

without havin' a cup of
tea to warm your innards.

Sit down, sit down.

I had wanted to ask ya
somethin' else as well.

Oh?

Tell you the truth,
I feel very silly

even askin', mind ya.

Knowin' my Sandy,
the way he's always

havin' his jokes on people.

MARY: Aye, he's always
been like that.

He was to dinner last night.

He is, most Thursdays.

Course, he always
comes on Sundays.

First time he ever
missed was last Sunday.

He said somethin' very
funny to me on Thursday.

He said he wouldn't
be comin' by anymore.

He said that he and Jeannie
were goin' to get married.

Surely it isn't true, Mary.

I'm sorry, Sarah.

Jeannie and Sandy?

I thought he was havin' one
of his little jokes with me.

Who would have ever imagined.

Oh, God in heaven!

Well, I hope you'll both
be very happy.

May I have my coat,
please, Mary?

No one meant to
hurt you, Sarah.

SARAH: Don't be offering
me any sympathy.

It's just that you
find out that people

who you think are your friends

are carryin' on
behind your back.

Now, that's not true, Sarah.

But it is true!

And you!

You little scamp,
what do you want

with someone like Sandy?

Why can't ya find someone
younger like yourself?

Disgustin', cheap people,
that's what ya are!

Sarah.

[crying]
And you, Mary.

All these years, all
these years. [crying]

Don't you come
back here again.

You can't be callin'
us things like that.

[crying]

Hi, Tip.

Was that Sarah I just
passed goin' down the road?

Mm-hmm.

Ah, I thought it was.

She didn't say a bloody
word, she didn't.

She didn't even look
up when I went by.

She was here askin'
about the weddin'.

Oh.

Oh, well,
it can't be helped.

She's a good woman, aye.

I always liked Sarah.

Where's Jeannie?

Makin' the tea.

Oh, don't take on so.

Somebody's always got to
be hurt in these affairs.

Jeannie!

Jeannie, come on, come in here.

I picked up something for
ya on my way home, I did.

For me?

Goddamn it, that's
what I said, didn't I?

Go on, open it up.

It's beautiful.

See Mom?

Aye.

Where did ya get it, Jim?

I picked it up the
seconds on 4th Street.

Of course that's not
exactly brand new,

but I'll be damned if I'm gonna
pay out a whole lot of money

just for a dress
you wear one day.

A fella there said it cost
over $50 when it was new.

Here, Jeannie, let me see.

It's a bit soiled
near the bottom,

but I expect we can clean
that up easy enough.

Yes, of course you can.

Just go over it a bit
with your flat iron,

it'll look as good as new.

It's beautiful.

You think it would be
proper, her wearin' this?

Well, a wedding is a wedding.

And that there is a
wedding dress, isn't it?

I know, but...

Jeannie, let's see
how it fits on ya.

Aye, you'll look lovely.

Boy, wait 'til
Dolly sees this.

Dad, can I have Dolly come?

Uh, I guess so.

[squeals] Thanks.

Now Jeannie, don't
you be foolin' about.

-There's too much
-I'm just gonna call Dolly.

MARY: to do as it is.

Upstairs, young lady.

There's adjustments to
be made and everything.

JIM: Do as your mother
tells ya.

I want everything ship-shape!

You'll be married
at 4:00 tomorrow.

[rain pattering]

[somber orchestral music]

[thunder rumbles]

[lightning cracks]

Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here

in the presence of
God to join this man

and this woman in
holy matrimony,

which is an honorable
estate ordained of God

unto the fulfilling
and perfecting

of the love of man and
woman in mutual honor

and forbearance and
therefore is not by any

to be taken in hand
lightly or thoughtlessly,

but reverently,
discretely, soberly,

and in the fear of God.

Into which holy estate
these two persons present

come now to be joined.

Therefore, if any man
can show just cause

why they may not lawfully
be joined together,

let him now speak
or else hereafter

forever hold his peace.

[men singing drunkenly
and laughing]

Hey, give the
girls one, too, Jim.

No, I won't, to
hell with them.

They're too young.

[men shouting]

I want ya all to
drink your share,

I got a whole ice box full of
beer out there in the kitchen.

[men shout]

God bless ya, for
your generosity, Dougal.

Well, it's not
every day that a man

marries off his only daughter.

Here, here!

And a finer man you
couldn't have found.

-Right, right.
-I'll drink to that.

[men laughing]

JIM:
Love moves in strange ways.

I'm here to tell ya, here
he is, my best friend

and my only daughter,
and me with nary an idea

about how they feel
about each other.

Then one day Jeannie comes
to me and she says to me,

"Dad, I love Sandy."

Aww!

And him not sayin' a word.

Well, you know why
don't ya, it's obvious.

Because he is a
deceitful old man.

[men laughing]

I'm not.

So, I get the two of
them together and I said,

"I am a man of a few years
myself, but I hope

that I've gathered a
bit of wisdom with it."

"Sandy," I says, "I know
you are a wee bitty older

"than my lass, but I
know the man ya are.

"And I know you'll
treat my Jeannie right

and thems the things
that's important to me."

So I says to him, I
says, "Children," I says,

"Ya have my blessing."

And a finer man you
couldn't want to meet,

as you have already
said, gentlemen.

-[men cheer and applaud]
-Right, right.

Here's to him
and ones like him.

Well, I was best
man and I'm supposed

to make a speech, but I'll
be damned if I'm gonna.

That's a blessin'.

That's enough out of you, Bob.

Actually, I haven't
got much to say.

I've known Sandy for
a good many years

and all I can say is
it's nice to see him

settling down at last.

At last!

[men shout in agreement]

-Aye, at last.
-At last, aye.

I hope you'll both
be very happy, Sandy.

Thank you, Tommy.

Now, I think I'm
supposed to propose a toast

to, uh, the bride, so
gentlemen, if you'll rise

and join me in this toast.

To a very lovely bride.

-Here, here.
-To the bride!

-MAN: To the bride.
-MAN 2: The wee lassie.

[men clapping]

In case ya don't know
it, Sandy, you're supposed

to respond to that toast.

[men chattering]

Well, I mean, I've
not been married before.

How the hell was I to know?

[men laugh]

But it's the truth anyway.

It's come a wee bit
late in life for me.

Ah, not too late, eh, Sandy?

[men laughing]

SANDY:
But I'll make a good husband.

I know, I know.

[men chattering]

And I wanna thank
you, too, Tommy.

Aye, for what ya said
about my wee wife.

She's a fine thing, all
right, and I'm a lucky man.

[men chattering]

I think the drinks are catching
up a wee bit on me, too.

Ah, there ain't enough
drink in the world

for Sandy Travers.

[men chattering]

Hello to you, too, Bob.

♪ The anniversary waltz
with you ♪

♪ Tell me is this
is real romance ♪

Come on Dougal, you're
supposed to dance with him.

Come on!

I don't want to.

You dance.

[men singing drunkenly]

♪ To millions of smiles ♪

♪ And a few little tears ♪

♪ May I always listen to ♪

♪ The Anniversary Waltz
with you ♪

Well, there he goes.

[men chattering and laughing]

Hey, hey.

This is the way you're supposed
to be the morning after.

[men laughing]

Jeannie, Jeannie.

Yeah, come on Jeannie.

Jeannie!

[men chattering]

And another bloody
beer that's all.

Give him a beer, Jim.

I'll give you another beer.

[men laughing]

Ya christened him!

[men laughing]

That's a hell of a
thing to do with beer.

[men laughing]

That is a hell of
a way to be speakin'

to your father-in-law.

[men laughing]

Oh, what is so funny?

All my life...

[men chattering]

I think everyone,

I think we should
all be on our way

and let the loved ones be
alone for a little while.

What the hell are
ya talkin' about?

We're just gettin' us a
good party goin' here.

Well, I think Sandy's

got other things
on his mind, Jim.

-[men laughing]
-The hell with that.

We can't go now, I've got
all this beer in the cooler

and Mary's prepared all this
food, sandwiches and all.

Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim, it
wouldn't be fair to Sandy.

They wanna be alone.

Oh, the hell with them.

I have an idea, why
not take everything,

take everything over to my place

and carry on from there.

[men shouting over each other]

Tip, we're going
over to Tommy's.

Come on, gimme a
hand with the booze.

Come on, come on, let's go.

JIM: There's a case
down there, man.

♪ We're going to have us
a party ♪

♪ We're going to have us
a party ♪

♪ We're going to have us
a party ♪

♪ Nobody can deny ♪

♪ Nobody can deny,
nobody can deny ♪

Well, I'll see ya, kiddo.

Gee, you don't
have to go already?

Well, yeah,
everybody's leavin'.

Mom?

You're not going, too, are you?

We must, Jeannie.

Come on, Tip.

It'll be all right.

[car horn honking]

[door thuds]

[car engine starts]

[Jeannie cries]

[Sandy snoring]

[Jeannie crying]

[bottle thuds on the floor]

Where the hell
have they all gone?

[chair falling]

[Jeannie crying]

Aye, you're not cryin' are ya?

Oh, Jeannie, oh, come on.

Come on.

[Jeannie crying]

Oh, don't be frightened
of old Sandy.

[Jeannie whimpering]

See, it's only me.

Nothin' to be scared of.

[Jeannie sniveling]

Oh, my head's a splittin'.

[laughs]

I don't trust meself
on these stairs, lassie.

Will ya no give me
a hand, Jeannie?

[light switch clicks]

Come on.

Hey.

Come on, lassie.

That's it, girl, aye.

[chuckles]

Easy now, easy, easy.

Aye, easy now.

That's a girl.

Aye lass, that's a girl.

Easy-- easy there,

easy now.

Aye, that's a girl.

[Sandy grunts]

[Sandy laughing]

-[slap]
-[laughing]

[door closing]

[clock ticking]

[somber orchestral music]